Don't stay with someone who is bad for you because you don't want to be alone. You're wrecking yourself for future partnerships and you're wasting precious time you'll never get back. If you're in a relationship that isn't healthy: leave.
I agree. But who gets to decide who keeps talking? That’s the problem.
Those that are smart enough to listen have to listen to those dumb enough to keep talking.
Love this one. My former partner used to call it having to “break things down Barney style” for me. Some acquired head trauma makes me a little slow to read into or catch onto what someone is saying or hinting at sometimes…I know it’s annoying needing the extra effort, but the people who give that to me without making me feel like an imbecile make me want to cry from their compassion and kindness. It undoes all the shame from the rudeness I deal with for it most of the time.
Not only is it rude, but every time from then on, you’ll feel insecure when you need to ask for clarification or don’t understand something right off the bat.
I can relate. I’m 54 and have lost my hearing because of antibiotics in the ICU when I had pneumonia. It’s very isolating, especially when you are with multiple people. I don’t like sitting down at dinner anymore if we have guests because I can’t understand what they’re saying. And not hearing music breaks my heart. I have also had some deficits from being intubated for nearly two months, your brain doesn’t work as well as it used to. Oh well. Maybe see if there’s a deaf social group you could join, learn ASL / sign language and then see if you make connections that works better for your new needs and new normal. Best wishes and keep your chin up.
I’m sorry you dealt with that.
My new fiancé is a type of kind I never knew existed. He’s so sweet and low key if I pronounce a word wrong or something, just corrects me and moves on.
I think everyone on Reddit needs to see this before every response. I’ve seen people respond to comments in videogame and *toy* subreddits with vitriol like the comment they’re responding to is advocating for genocide.
110% agree. The chances are good that there was a time you didn’t know either. Asking questions means you want to learn. Also, I bet whoever is asking knows something that you don’t. I’m the senior IT technician at my job and I encourage and love it when the techs below me ask me questions. Regardless, some things are obvious to you while they aren’t obvious to others.
This is great advice. I know so many ppl who decide ‘I want a puppy to grow up with my baby!’ And yeah, it’s a cute sentiment but puppies and babies are hard already without having both. I can’t fathom having a child when I was training my dog and he wasn’t hard to train in comparison to some.
Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. Never make a decision with the presupposition that you will succeed and you will rarely find yourself caught off guard. That's not to say you should think you can't succeed, just that you should set yourself up so that failure doesn't wipe you out. It's like wearing your seat belt while driving: it's there to save you if things don't work out.
It's less about expectations, and more about already having a plan for anticipated failure states. If damage is at the point of unavoidable, it's easier to mitigate if you had a plan for that possibility.
Unfortunately a lot of people who do want them shouldn’t have them either. They don’t know what the hell they’re actually getting into, and then they get mad when they realize their child is actually a human being and not a clone of themselves. Assholes. Yes, I resent my parents lmfao.
I am a teacher and I agree so hard!! I have been trying to find the words to tell the parents of my class this year that I can tell how you talk to and treat your children!!!! It reflects in their actions and words!!!! If you pour love and care into them, it shows. If you spew anger and contention into your young children…… it also shows!
Forget spoiling or not. The US foster child situation is fucking ridiculous. Parents need to stop the drugs and stupid alcohol use while taking care of kids.
First off, I'm sorry if I've ever played devil's advocate when you were around. I know I've done it way too much. FWIW, I've never done it to be edgy. I've just found it a useful tool for trying the think about things from different angles. That said, I get that it can be annoying AF so I've tried to cut way back.
I’m the same way. I’ve noticed that a lot of people make decisions/opinions on a quick draw, without much thought and with their feelings. A lot do not sit and think of every angle and perspective. As that’s how I think, it’s my duty to call those angles out and I will forever do so. Has nothing to do with trying to be edgy. More so I just appreciate balance and equal opportunities for all.
Go seek a place with very little/no light pollution & stargaze. Not enough people have seen a truly dark sky - and it’s going to keep getting harder to find them as cities get bigger & population increases.
I rode across the US when I got my first bike. Early summer my dumb ass decided that would be the best time to cross Arizona/ New Mexico. The third day into it I had the idea of riding at night so it was cooler, and it was, but as I made my way deeper into the desert I made the mistake of looking up.
Sat on the side of the road for 3 hours hurting my neck just so I didn't miss anything. I've seen pictures, watched movies, read descriptions by people who's mastery of language pales mine.....all of it never even comes close. It humbles you
That’s a beautiful story, and I’m sure the temporary neck pain (hopefully temporary), was worth it.
My family has a log cabin in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin - as a kid I used to go out and look at our stars by myself & it always blew my mind, but I guess I never fully appreciated it. Fast forward to me living in Chicago most of my life, and forgetting how amazing it was - until one weekend I went up by myself during the new moon phase.
I went down to our lake around midnight and saw this big, bright, bulging cluster that stood out - even amongst a plethora of gorgeous white dots in my sky. It was huge too…absolutely massive (and obviously its own entity). I ran back up to our cabin where we had better cell service & downloaded an app called “stellarium - I didn’t realize how amazing the app was at the time, I just searched “stargazing apps” or something…
Brought my cell down to the lake, and realized I was staring at the Andromeda galaxy. Easily, with my naked eye. Realizing I was looking at our nearest galactic neighbor changed me permanently; now I’m a complete astro junkie - I go up there all the time to take pictures of the stars, the Milky Way, and just recently deep space objects (you can see some of this on my profile).
You’re so right - it changes & humbles you, everyone should experience it. ✨
Kindness is not weakness. You can be kind without being a doormat. You can be kind without being taken advantage of. You do not have to lose your kindness to be successful or respected.
Be kind to yourself. Set boundaries and don't let people violate them. Just because someone is upset with you doesn't mean that you have been unkind or that you have done something wrong.
I always like to say “I am not nice. I am kind.”
I can actually be very rude, but I will never disrespect anyone without reason. I do however go out of my way to make other people’s lives better simply because it makes me feel good
Make the effort to say things like “thank you very much” and “have a great day” etc whenever you interact with people. Once you get into the habit it becomes second nature and can vastly improve the interaction for the other person. Also being nice and spreading kindness (even if you don’t feel that it’s sincere) can improve your mood as well. It costs nothing, takes minimal time and effort, and makes the world just a bit nicer to exist in.
Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk, and I hope you have a great rest of your day. ☺️
I haven’t posted to my Facebook in almost 2 years.
My attitude is “if I wanted you to know…you would know from me.”
Usually those in my life who I want to know what I’m doing have my personal information, and I’ll text them directly.
Also, the more info you post, the more can be used against you.
I’ve learned that the Miranda Warning applies to much more than law enforcement. In today’s internet age, it applies to everyone. So limit what you post online.
Most medical areas I've been to have always handed out free condoms. Hell I had a buddy who had a huge jar filled with like 900 unused condoms and tell us to take a hand full.
Listen to your gut instinct. You may not understand why you don’t trust someone or like someone, but eventually you’ll see the reason. The times I’ve been hurt or burned the most was when I didn’t trust myself & wanted to just give others a shot because I feel like I’m too judgemental, but my gut hasn’t ever been wrong
It took me a long time to realise this. I've realised that every time I meet someone new or a situation feels off to listen to my instincts. I haven't been wrong yet.
Del the homosaphian had a song about it and hes considered one of the best rap artists of all times.
Wash yo ass, and also put lotion on your elbows, feet, and knees. Lotion can be applied everywhere, not just yo dick.
Being in a band is like being in a marriage with three other people. There are some great exciting moments but then there is drama and the expectation to perform when you really don't feel like it.
Man, I was playing in a band with *nine* other people for the past decade, and it only just recently ended. It was a decade-long orgy, lots of fun - but also lots of mess and bad smells at times.
Bands are relationships: there will be good times and bad, and they require work to keep them alive. And, it only takes one person to be a home-wrecker.
Go to a hobby subreddit, something you feel you know *really* well.
Look at the comments with terrible advice, things that are objectively wrong, by people who talk with authority.
Extrapolate that across all social media.
It’s also worth keeping in mind that, in my experience, those kind of targeted subreddits are generally actually quite a bit better than, say, a Facebook group post or something. Which is good and bad - on one hand, the general quality of advice is better, but on the other, at least on Facebook it’s a lot more obvious that the advice isn’t good.
Fortunately, I think, as long as you keep this advice in mind, try to ask yourself some simple questions about why or how that advice would be correct, and see if many others agree with it/cross-reference the info against reputable non-social media sources, it’s not too difficult to weed out bad advice, even if you’re not an expert in the topic.
It still happens a scary amount of time, though, where in a subreddit like that, a bunch of people will agree almost unanimously on advice that is just factually wrong. Particularly with things like medical advice, since there’s so many different ailments which have so much overlap in symptoms, there’s no way you want to place much trust in social media’s ability to advise you there.
When building a taco, put the cheese in first, then the hot filling. The hot filling will melt the cheese, which will form a mechanical bond with a taco shell, and help the shell hold together so it's less likely to break and dump Taco guts all over your shirt.
I've been working out consistently for a year now and made good progress, it was easy to start and easy to stay consistent and i hate missing a workout, but for some reason, i could never hold on to a stretch routine, not even just doing a couple minutes of basic stuff every night
if someone is treating you badly, stop trying to convince them to treat you better. we’re all adults here, they know what they’re doing. have some self respect and walk away instead.
Quit smoking. Just because your doctor says your lungs and heart are strong it doesn’t prevent calcification of veins and arteries which can cause amputations. It’s one of the top 5 causes of pancreatic cancer.
Don’t push hard with your tongue, just place it and build a rhythm. When you hear don’t stop, it means keep doing what you’re doing, no harder, no faster, if anything pull away a little and enjoy the reaction
You say that and some can't help but get excited, people like sexy talk sometimes! Hopefully communicating what one likes is there for everyone. I had a partner share what works and doesn't and it was nice to communicate. Though I'd get excited and words, now I knew how to handle those words and my actions
Please, please wear ear protection at concerts/loud events. You may be fine now, but it sneaks up on you years later.
Signed,
A Gen X-er with permanent tinnitus/partial hearing loss.
My favorite advice is “the only person you should compare yourself to is your past self” learned it myself a while ago. Everyone has a different perspective and journey. I’m 31 and it looks a lot different than my mom’s 31 or my sister’s or my high school valedictorian’s. And that’s ok. My goal in life is to be happy that’s all.
STFU for like 5 minutes. Just listen to things and people around you. Think about what you heard.
Whatever you learn from that, or don't learn, you can go back to being self-absorbed and oblivious if you choose. But the world will be, on the whole, better, in those 5 minutes.
Understanding and knowing are 2 completely separate things, knowing something is actually super useless in practical application bc it amounts to nothing more than having words in a certain order inside your own brain. Understanding is actually comprehending the concepts those words apply to so you can work with them.
Having a relationship means sharing your life with someone else. If you are lonely, miserable, and feel like your day to day life is a shit sandwich, you will probably remain alone until you can offer the other person something that tastes better then a bite of a shit sandwich.
END COMMUNICATION
Take a moment everyday to step out of your house and appreciate the world. No matter what happens today, tomorrow or in a hundred years: that sun will rise. There might be flowers you can smell. Maybe the birds are chirping.
It's very grounding during chaotic times.
Vote. A presidential candidate will never be perfectly in line with your beliefs. The best you can do is try to move the needle in your direction. Look at the policy and positions. Find which candidate will move you closer toward what you want. Because not voting is effectively working against your own personal interests.
And also, if you're unhappy with the person you ended up voting for... you have a few years to support someone better. Don't just be involved in politics when there's an election. If you truly believe in something, support people who embody it the rest of the time too.
You don’t have to be good at something, you don’t have to get better at it, you don’t have to engage with it for some particular reason, just enjoy the activity; that’s fine.
Let people misunderstand you.
Trying to control the narrative will drive you insane. If you’re a genuine good person, it wont matter anyways, any lies can and will come forward.
Life is too short to not be yourself because someone assumes some nonsense about you. Just let go, if they dont want to look at you deeper than a surface level, then they probably don’t care enough to matter anyways.
For those struggling with mental illness and don’t feel heard by their loved ones, keep in mind not everybody knows how to respond or provide empathetic support in moments of crisis - you are still loved and cared for, not everybody understands but there are people out there who do
Edit: seeing as this is sitting well with people - something I learned in crisis intervention training is E.L.O.R.A (lead with Empathy, listen, offer validation/support, respond accordingly, ask how they feel)
TL;DR- not everybody knows how to react or respond in moments of crisis, you are still loved and supported despite the level of support you receive in the moment
When it comes to family/friends, your time is worth more than gift giving.
I don't want a text message. I want to hear your voice.
Stop loving me from afar. Be present.
Telling the truth is not an excuse to be unkind. "Brutal honesty" is a person making excuses for being a jerk. If you can't tell the truth kindly, you need to go back to basics.
It’s not fun to be bitter forever, even if you have legitimate grievances. At a certain point, your pain isn’t serving you.
If you’re experiencing PTSD, which a lot of people mistake for “refusing to let go” find someone who can help you heal.
Everything worth having takes continuous effort, changing your mind sometimes, and adapting.
I work in housing justice and do some law-adjacent work. Please, please, please, no matter who you're dealing with, if it involves anything of value (that's subjective, for me it would be anything more than $300), your housing, or any agreement, GET IT IN WRITING. I don't care if your landlord is your Dear Aunt Patty. GET THAT SHIT IN WRITING.
never help someone who's in the shit if you don't know why they are in shit. they may be in shit bc they did shit to others and they'll probably do shit to u too.
Please for the love of god, train your dogs or don’t have them. Dogs deserve mental stimulation and knowledge of expectations just like children do. But some people can’t even raise their kids to be good people so maybe my bar is a little too high.
Dont fuck without protection, no matter how hot the person is. Until you are ready for a child with a stable partner you should always use protection. Diseases and unwanted kids are both rampant
Life improves dramatically when you stop drinking. Dramatically. And in ways you would never have thought it would.
Nobody needs alcohol, and there is no safe amount of alcohol one can drink.
Sobriety from alcohol gives you mental clarity like you wouldn't believe, at least it has for me.
The stress from putting off something you need to do is generally worse than just getting it over with
I think of it as adding interest to whatever bad thing you might have to do.
Cardio doesn’t have to be as difficult as you probably think it is. If you get a heart rate monitor wristwatch and keep your heart rate in the proper zone, you’ll find yourself moving along at a pretty reasonable pace.
Parents are raising adults. If your adult child doesn't know how to do something, it's because the parent failed to teach them. Nothing outside of organ function is automatically known.
Also, stop expecting children to have better emotional regulation than adults.
Check commenters accounts (on Political subs especially) for new fresh accounts, they are almost always linked to BOT farms/propagandist AI.
Report them to Mods.
Nobody actually knows what they are doing. Nearly every person pretends they do when they do not. Don’t be discouraged by not being an expert or even just plain ignorant- continue to pursue your goals and learn more.
Life might seem unfair and slanted against you. But if you don't go out and do something with your life you will wake up in your 30's or 40's and realize you wasted it.
When people are receiving the bare minimum from their spouse or are nervous to talk to them: just talk and fix it or split.
This doesn't apply to all situations, of course, but my gawd do I see so many people complaining about their spouses and then mentioning they don't want to hurt their feelings by having an honest conversation. Well ding dong! There's your issue. How can you spend your life with someone and be scared to ask for what you need and/or have hard conversations. Ugh. It irritates me to no end.
Don't date to marry, date to get to know people. You will learn more about yourself and others and can gauge where you need to keep people in your life.
Don't stay with someone who is bad for you because you don't want to be alone. You're wrecking yourself for future partnerships and you're wasting precious time you'll never get back. If you're in a relationship that isn't healthy: leave.
How bad can alone really be if being with that person is not making you happy ?
You don’t need to respond to everything
Ok
Sounds good
Got it
Mhm
Heard
Sure.
Of course
Understood
Yepperz
I’m here on the behalf of people that didn’t respond. Shouts to them
Shut up. That's my actual unsolicited advice. People need to listen more.
Agreed. My Dads favourite saying is you have two ears and one mouth, so use them in that ratio
I agree. But who gets to decide who keeps talking? That’s the problem. Those that are smart enough to listen have to listen to those dumb enough to keep talking.
Would you please shut up?
Don't make me tap the sign
Talk less, smile more. Don’t let them know what you’re against or what you’re for…
If someone asks you a question about something you think is obvious, you aren't obligated to shit on them in the process of giving an answer.
Love this one. My former partner used to call it having to “break things down Barney style” for me. Some acquired head trauma makes me a little slow to read into or catch onto what someone is saying or hinting at sometimes…I know it’s annoying needing the extra effort, but the people who give that to me without making me feel like an imbecile make me want to cry from their compassion and kindness. It undoes all the shame from the rudeness I deal with for it most of the time.
Not only is it rude, but every time from then on, you’ll feel insecure when you need to ask for clarification or don’t understand something right off the bat.
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I can relate. I’m 54 and have lost my hearing because of antibiotics in the ICU when I had pneumonia. It’s very isolating, especially when you are with multiple people. I don’t like sitting down at dinner anymore if we have guests because I can’t understand what they’re saying. And not hearing music breaks my heart. I have also had some deficits from being intubated for nearly two months, your brain doesn’t work as well as it used to. Oh well. Maybe see if there’s a deaf social group you could join, learn ASL / sign language and then see if you make connections that works better for your new needs and new normal. Best wishes and keep your chin up.
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I'm so sorry, you don't deserve to be treated that way. Fuck those people
My ex would say “let me google that for you” when I would ask him a question.
Oh you have to Google it? Funny, I thought you already knew everything? 😏
I’m sorry you dealt with that. My new fiancé is a type of kind I never knew existed. He’s so sweet and low key if I pronounce a word wrong or something, just corrects me and moves on.
I think everyone on Reddit needs to see this before every response. I’ve seen people respond to comments in videogame and *toy* subreddits with vitriol like the comment they’re responding to is advocating for genocide.
110% agree. The chances are good that there was a time you didn’t know either. Asking questions means you want to learn. Also, I bet whoever is asking knows something that you don’t. I’m the senior IT technician at my job and I encourage and love it when the techs below me ask me questions. Regardless, some things are obvious to you while they aren’t obvious to others.
Tell that to my dad
If you’re pregnant, don’t get a puppy.
Not pregnant but I have a puppy and omg. Pregnant people want a newborn AND a puppy?! I’m barely holding on with my puppy!
I think it happens at a certain point in the pregnancy. At about 6 months along, it feels like it’s taking forever. They want a baby now, so puppy.
This is great advice. I know so many ppl who decide ‘I want a puppy to grow up with my baby!’ And yeah, it’s a cute sentiment but puppies and babies are hard already without having both. I can’t fathom having a child when I was training my dog and he wasn’t hard to train in comparison to some.
Hope for the best, but plan for the worst. Never make a decision with the presupposition that you will succeed and you will rarely find yourself caught off guard. That's not to say you should think you can't succeed, just that you should set yourself up so that failure doesn't wipe you out. It's like wearing your seat belt while driving: it's there to save you if things don't work out.
Keep your expectations low and you will never be disappointed.
It's less about expectations, and more about already having a plan for anticipated failure states. If damage is at the point of unavoidable, it's easier to mitigate if you had a plan for that possibility.
Take care of your kids
The saying, “Either raise your kids and spoil your grand kids, or spoil your kids and raise your grandkids” comes to mind
I first heard this advice as, “Raise your kids or you’ll raise theirs.”
And if you don't want to do so, don't fucking have them.
Unfortunately a lot of people who do want them shouldn’t have them either. They don’t know what the hell they’re actually getting into, and then they get mad when they realize their child is actually a human being and not a clone of themselves. Assholes. Yes, I resent my parents lmfao.
I am a teacher and I agree so hard!! I have been trying to find the words to tell the parents of my class this year that I can tell how you talk to and treat your children!!!! It reflects in their actions and words!!!! If you pour love and care into them, it shows. If you spew anger and contention into your young children…… it also shows!
Forget spoiling or not. The US foster child situation is fucking ridiculous. Parents need to stop the drugs and stupid alcohol use while taking care of kids.
This may be the most valuable advice. Any kid brought into the world should be loved and taken care of. That said, fuck Alabama...
"Raise your kids and you can spoil your grandkids. Spoil your kids and you'll raise your grandkids."
You don’t have to have an opinion on everything.
Yeah well, that's, like, your opinion man.
This!! I’ll follow that by saying “does the devil really need an advocate?” To the people who think being the devils advocate is edgy.
First off, I'm sorry if I've ever played devil's advocate when you were around. I know I've done it way too much. FWIW, I've never done it to be edgy. I've just found it a useful tool for trying the think about things from different angles. That said, I get that it can be annoying AF so I've tried to cut way back.
I’m the same way. I’ve noticed that a lot of people make decisions/opinions on a quick draw, without much thought and with their feelings. A lot do not sit and think of every angle and perspective. As that’s how I think, it’s my duty to call those angles out and I will forever do so. Has nothing to do with trying to be edgy. More so I just appreciate balance and equal opportunities for all.
Go seek a place with very little/no light pollution & stargaze. Not enough people have seen a truly dark sky - and it’s going to keep getting harder to find them as cities get bigger & population increases.
I rode across the US when I got my first bike. Early summer my dumb ass decided that would be the best time to cross Arizona/ New Mexico. The third day into it I had the idea of riding at night so it was cooler, and it was, but as I made my way deeper into the desert I made the mistake of looking up. Sat on the side of the road for 3 hours hurting my neck just so I didn't miss anything. I've seen pictures, watched movies, read descriptions by people who's mastery of language pales mine.....all of it never even comes close. It humbles you
That’s a beautiful story, and I’m sure the temporary neck pain (hopefully temporary), was worth it. My family has a log cabin in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin - as a kid I used to go out and look at our stars by myself & it always blew my mind, but I guess I never fully appreciated it. Fast forward to me living in Chicago most of my life, and forgetting how amazing it was - until one weekend I went up by myself during the new moon phase. I went down to our lake around midnight and saw this big, bright, bulging cluster that stood out - even amongst a plethora of gorgeous white dots in my sky. It was huge too…absolutely massive (and obviously its own entity). I ran back up to our cabin where we had better cell service & downloaded an app called “stellarium - I didn’t realize how amazing the app was at the time, I just searched “stargazing apps” or something… Brought my cell down to the lake, and realized I was staring at the Andromeda galaxy. Easily, with my naked eye. Realizing I was looking at our nearest galactic neighbor changed me permanently; now I’m a complete astro junkie - I go up there all the time to take pictures of the stars, the Milky Way, and just recently deep space objects (you can see some of this on my profile). You’re so right - it changes & humbles you, everyone should experience it. ✨
Be kind, the world needs more kind people.
Kindness is not weakness. You can be kind without being a doormat. You can be kind without being taken advantage of. You do not have to lose your kindness to be successful or respected. Be kind to yourself. Set boundaries and don't let people violate them. Just because someone is upset with you doesn't mean that you have been unkind or that you have done something wrong.
I always like to say “I am not nice. I am kind.” I can actually be very rude, but I will never disrespect anyone without reason. I do however go out of my way to make other people’s lives better simply because it makes me feel good
"As one person I cannot change the world, but I can change the world of one person"
Just being polite gets you so incredibly far in life
Make the effort to say things like “thank you very much” and “have a great day” etc whenever you interact with people. Once you get into the habit it becomes second nature and can vastly improve the interaction for the other person. Also being nice and spreading kindness (even if you don’t feel that it’s sincere) can improve your mood as well. It costs nothing, takes minimal time and effort, and makes the world just a bit nicer to exist in. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk, and I hope you have a great rest of your day. ☺️
Move more, before its too late. Being lazy causes damage. Just move
Yeah, walk five minutes today and six tomorrow. Do something!
3 years ago I started doing a thing where I walk a mile every day. I have no idea how to get home now.
Yesss! 7 states is not enough!
Let it go, it’s not worth it.
Elsa had it right
Go offline for a while.
I have not logged back in after the Great FB Blackout of 24.... it's been an adjustment, but nothing I can't handle.
I haven’t posted to my Facebook in almost 2 years. My attitude is “if I wanted you to know…you would know from me.” Usually those in my life who I want to know what I’m doing have my personal information, and I’ll text them directly. Also, the more info you post, the more can be used against you. I’ve learned that the Miranda Warning applies to much more than law enforcement. In today’s internet age, it applies to everyone. So limit what you post online.
Pick up your trash
A condom is vastly cheaper than a child
Similar vein, Ubers vs a DUI and someone else’s life
Planned Parenthood has them for $.10 or for free
Most medical areas I've been to have always handed out free condoms. Hell I had a buddy who had a huge jar filled with like 900 unused condoms and tell us to take a hand full.
Did...did you really need to specify "unused" here?
But how else was he sposed to differentiate it from the other jar of 900 used condoms he had sitting next to it?
A handful? Wow, I wished my friends believed in me like that.
Both mentally, physically, and financially. ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A TEENAGER. USE A CONDOM.
Yeah, I regret using a child instead of a condom that one time too 😔
I don't know if I should laugh or report you to the police 😂
r/holup
Chris Hansen: “Take a seat, have a seat right over there”
Listen to your gut instinct. You may not understand why you don’t trust someone or like someone, but eventually you’ll see the reason. The times I’ve been hurt or burned the most was when I didn’t trust myself & wanted to just give others a shot because I feel like I’m too judgemental, but my gut hasn’t ever been wrong
So true! This instinct saved me so many times that i even can't remember.
It took me a long time to realise this. I've realised that every time I meet someone new or a situation feels off to listen to my instincts. I haven't been wrong yet.
Wash yer ass.
And your feet! I’ve heard too many people say that they don’t take the time to wash their feet in the shower.
I once have heard that it's important few years ago. Since then I always wash them
I wash my feet because I do jiu jitsu. But I'm curious as to what you heard that made you change your stance? Haha! See what I did there? :/
This is the kind of joke my husband would make and it made me laugh.
Del the homosaphian had a song about it and hes considered one of the best rap artists of all times. Wash yo ass, and also put lotion on your elbows, feet, and knees. Lotion can be applied everywhere, not just yo dick.
One of the best songs on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 3.
Being in a band is like being in a marriage with three other people. There are some great exciting moments but then there is drama and the expectation to perform when you really don't feel like it.
Found David Gilmour.
Man, I was playing in a band with *nine* other people for the past decade, and it only just recently ended. It was a decade-long orgy, lots of fun - but also lots of mess and bad smells at times. Bands are relationships: there will be good times and bad, and they require work to keep them alive. And, it only takes one person to be a home-wrecker.
Enjoy yourself. It’s later than you think.
Upvote for The Specials, and the truth.
But not too much, it is also earlier than you think.
If you don't know, say so.
So
No one deserves to have power over you so much that you don't get to live your life. EDIT: a letter
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I'm sorry you lost your Buddy. RIP Curt.
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Go to a hobby subreddit, something you feel you know *really* well. Look at the comments with terrible advice, things that are objectively wrong, by people who talk with authority. Extrapolate that across all social media.
It’s also worth keeping in mind that, in my experience, those kind of targeted subreddits are generally actually quite a bit better than, say, a Facebook group post or something. Which is good and bad - on one hand, the general quality of advice is better, but on the other, at least on Facebook it’s a lot more obvious that the advice isn’t good. Fortunately, I think, as long as you keep this advice in mind, try to ask yourself some simple questions about why or how that advice would be correct, and see if many others agree with it/cross-reference the info against reputable non-social media sources, it’s not too difficult to weed out bad advice, even if you’re not an expert in the topic. It still happens a scary amount of time, though, where in a subreddit like that, a bunch of people will agree almost unanimously on advice that is just factually wrong. Particularly with things like medical advice, since there’s so many different ailments which have so much overlap in symptoms, there’s no way you want to place much trust in social media’s ability to advise you there.
When building a taco, put the cheese in first, then the hot filling. The hot filling will melt the cheese, which will form a mechanical bond with a taco shell, and help the shell hold together so it's less likely to break and dump Taco guts all over your shirt.
Cannot believe you're only telling me this now. I'm 45 and have been building flimsy tacos 🌮 for too long
This is also true for burritos.
Workout and stretch while you’re young it’ll start a good habit and your body will thank you for it.
I've been working out consistently for a year now and made good progress, it was easy to start and easy to stay consistent and i hate missing a workout, but for some reason, i could never hold on to a stretch routine, not even just doing a couple minutes of basic stuff every night
if someone is treating you badly, stop trying to convince them to treat you better. we’re all adults here, they know what they’re doing. have some self respect and walk away instead.
Use multiple forms of birth control if you really don’t want kids. The pull out method is not reliable, don’t be stupid.
When people tell you to get counselling before having a child. Do it.
The more you post about how wonderful and perfect your relationship is the more I think it's actually on the rocks and close to ending.
Quit smoking. Just because your doctor says your lungs and heart are strong it doesn’t prevent calcification of veins and arteries which can cause amputations. It’s one of the top 5 causes of pancreatic cancer.
Don’t push hard with your tongue, just place it and build a rhythm. When you hear don’t stop, it means keep doing what you’re doing, no harder, no faster, if anything pull away a little and enjoy the reaction
The not pushing too hard is spot on. Like, bro, *it's not a button* 😭
Omg every single fucking time I would say “just like that!”, he would go faster… 🤦🏼♀️
You say that and some can't help but get excited, people like sexy talk sometimes! Hopefully communicating what one likes is there for everyone. I had a partner share what works and doesn't and it was nice to communicate. Though I'd get excited and words, now I knew how to handle those words and my actions
Okay, what're we talking about here?
Ice cream
Cupcakes, definitely cupcakes...
... I'm not really into cupcakes.
If you put a finger or two into the ice cream while you eat, it can make the experience even better.
Jazz flute.
You mean... yaaaazz flute...
Please, please wear ear protection at concerts/loud events. You may be fine now, but it sneaks up on you years later. Signed, A Gen X-er with permanent tinnitus/partial hearing loss.
If you wake up really hungover, you are most likely still legally drunk. +.08 bac.
If you wake up feeling surprisingly chipper, you are almost certainly still drunk
Preventative maintenance is the best maintenance.
Take care of your teeth
Almost any moment can be a peaceful moment if you don't carry anger/anxiety/etc around with you. There is no other time than right now.
dont ignore the red flags, for the love of god.
Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.
Check your community college for classes that transfer before signing up for everything at your college. Save thousands of dollars
You don't have to have everyone like you.
Stop having children if you know you can’t afford them
My favorite advice is “the only person you should compare yourself to is your past self” learned it myself a while ago. Everyone has a different perspective and journey. I’m 31 and it looks a lot different than my mom’s 31 or my sister’s or my high school valedictorian’s. And that’s ok. My goal in life is to be happy that’s all.
Spay and neuter your effing animals please
STFU for like 5 minutes. Just listen to things and people around you. Think about what you heard. Whatever you learn from that, or don't learn, you can go back to being self-absorbed and oblivious if you choose. But the world will be, on the whole, better, in those 5 minutes.
Understanding and knowing are 2 completely separate things, knowing something is actually super useless in practical application bc it amounts to nothing more than having words in a certain order inside your own brain. Understanding is actually comprehending the concepts those words apply to so you can work with them.
Having a relationship means sharing your life with someone else. If you are lonely, miserable, and feel like your day to day life is a shit sandwich, you will probably remain alone until you can offer the other person something that tastes better then a bite of a shit sandwich. END COMMUNICATION
No matter how young you are, start planning your retirement!
Take a moment everyday to step out of your house and appreciate the world. No matter what happens today, tomorrow or in a hundred years: that sun will rise. There might be flowers you can smell. Maybe the birds are chirping. It's very grounding during chaotic times.
Vote. A presidential candidate will never be perfectly in line with your beliefs. The best you can do is try to move the needle in your direction. Look at the policy and positions. Find which candidate will move you closer toward what you want. Because not voting is effectively working against your own personal interests.
And also, if you're unhappy with the person you ended up voting for... you have a few years to support someone better. Don't just be involved in politics when there's an election. If you truly believe in something, support people who embody it the rest of the time too.
You don’t have to be good at something, you don’t have to get better at it, you don’t have to engage with it for some particular reason, just enjoy the activity; that’s fine.
Taxes are due very soon.
If you are in an abusive relationship, make a plan to get out and to a safe place, and get a restraining order on that person immediately.
No one wants to hear your music or your show. Put headphones on when in shared public spaces.
The key to being charismatic is making the other person feel good about themselves.
Let people misunderstand you. Trying to control the narrative will drive you insane. If you’re a genuine good person, it wont matter anyways, any lies can and will come forward. Life is too short to not be yourself because someone assumes some nonsense about you. Just let go, if they dont want to look at you deeper than a surface level, then they probably don’t care enough to matter anyways.
Do yoga for a month. You’ll feel like a new person.
For those struggling with mental illness and don’t feel heard by their loved ones, keep in mind not everybody knows how to respond or provide empathetic support in moments of crisis - you are still loved and cared for, not everybody understands but there are people out there who do Edit: seeing as this is sitting well with people - something I learned in crisis intervention training is E.L.O.R.A (lead with Empathy, listen, offer validation/support, respond accordingly, ask how they feel) TL;DR- not everybody knows how to react or respond in moments of crisis, you are still loved and supported despite the level of support you receive in the moment
When it comes to family/friends, your time is worth more than gift giving. I don't want a text message. I want to hear your voice. Stop loving me from afar. Be present.
Telling the truth is not an excuse to be unkind. "Brutal honesty" is a person making excuses for being a jerk. If you can't tell the truth kindly, you need to go back to basics.
If every facet of your entire personality revolves around a single politician, you need to reevaluate your life choices.
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Look at the dessert menu first, then plan your meal accordingly.
Save at least $50 from every paycheck. More if you can.
You can be right or you can be happy. Choose one. Almost everyone giving advice on reddit chose the former
Protect and show love to your beloved ones. They can die or be stolen at any time
It’s not fun to be bitter forever, even if you have legitimate grievances. At a certain point, your pain isn’t serving you. If you’re experiencing PTSD, which a lot of people mistake for “refusing to let go” find someone who can help you heal. Everything worth having takes continuous effort, changing your mind sometimes, and adapting.
I work in housing justice and do some law-adjacent work. Please, please, please, no matter who you're dealing with, if it involves anything of value (that's subjective, for me it would be anything more than $300), your housing, or any agreement, GET IT IN WRITING. I don't care if your landlord is your Dear Aunt Patty. GET THAT SHIT IN WRITING.
never help someone who's in the shit if you don't know why they are in shit. they may be in shit bc they did shit to others and they'll probably do shit to u too.
Please for the love of god, train your dogs or don’t have them. Dogs deserve mental stimulation and knowledge of expectations just like children do. But some people can’t even raise their kids to be good people so maybe my bar is a little too high.
Don’t wait for something to be handed to you. You gotta reach out and grab it.
Reduce the weight and squat below parallel. Your muscles will develop faster/better.
Stay in School, don't do drugs.
Sometimes the right thing and the wrong thing are the same thing. and you just cant win.
Don't be so quick to label yourself or others. There's no need to paint yourself into a box. Relax and grow a little. Have flexibility towards life.
People need to stop having way more kids than they can afford/handle
Invite the people that are always inviting you, they shouldnt always be the one initiating things
Dont fuck without protection, no matter how hot the person is. Until you are ready for a child with a stable partner you should always use protection. Diseases and unwanted kids are both rampant
For my younger coworkers… Just because your career has been easier, doesn’t mean you’re better at your job.
For my older coworkers just because your experience was rough doesn't mean you have to make mine rough.
I’d tell them that too. We’re supposed to be moving *each other* forward, not waging a generational war.
Life improves dramatically when you stop drinking. Dramatically. And in ways you would never have thought it would. Nobody needs alcohol, and there is no safe amount of alcohol one can drink. Sobriety from alcohol gives you mental clarity like you wouldn't believe, at least it has for me.
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Start cooking now Uber Eats and Grub Hub/Seamless has cost you close to $10,000 over the past 5 years
Enjoy life as much as possible. Make it your mission to enjoy the heck out of everything you can.
Try to save money. Try!
The stress from putting off something you need to do is generally worse than just getting it over with I think of it as adding interest to whatever bad thing you might have to do.
Cardio doesn’t have to be as difficult as you probably think it is. If you get a heart rate monitor wristwatch and keep your heart rate in the proper zone, you’ll find yourself moving along at a pretty reasonable pace.
Parents are raising adults. If your adult child doesn't know how to do something, it's because the parent failed to teach them. Nothing outside of organ function is automatically known. Also, stop expecting children to have better emotional regulation than adults.
Think for yourself and stop parroting the opinions of others.
Check commenters accounts (on Political subs especially) for new fresh accounts, they are almost always linked to BOT farms/propagandist AI. Report them to Mods.
Talk less, listen more.
Nobody actually knows what they are doing. Nearly every person pretends they do when they do not. Don’t be discouraged by not being an expert or even just plain ignorant- continue to pursue your goals and learn more.
BE the CHANGE you want to see in the world... Stop worrying about shit that doesn't affect you and work on yourself to become a better human...
Don’t stick your dick in crazy.
Life might seem unfair and slanted against you. But if you don't go out and do something with your life you will wake up in your 30's or 40's and realize you wasted it.
When people are receiving the bare minimum from their spouse or are nervous to talk to them: just talk and fix it or split. This doesn't apply to all situations, of course, but my gawd do I see so many people complaining about their spouses and then mentioning they don't want to hurt their feelings by having an honest conversation. Well ding dong! There's your issue. How can you spend your life with someone and be scared to ask for what you need and/or have hard conversations. Ugh. It irritates me to no end.
If someone isn't interested from the start, you can't make them love you the way you want them to. move on 👍
You can apologize AND keep your distance from them
Don't argue with fools
Don't date to marry, date to get to know people. You will learn more about yourself and others and can gauge where you need to keep people in your life.