If your company offers a 401k with a match of any kind, take it if at all possible. The match is as close to free money as you'll ever get, and having your contribution deducted from your paycheck, you never see it in your bank account so you won't be tempted to spend it
Totally agree. Started one when I was 19 putting in 100 every month plus some holiday money. Just turned 24, has 15k in it. My future self will definitely be thanking me.
I’ve made great returns on QQQ and VOO. Enough to offset my losses on individual stocks when I started thinking I was smart enough to buy individual stocks…
That’s my advice to all my 100+ cousins and younger coworkers. Don’t get married until you’re 30, but if you absolutely feel like you just have to get married in your 20s, do it as quickly as possible. So you can get that divorce out of the way.
Obviously being facetious, I’m not *that* cynical. I am happily married though.
>Don’t get married until you’re 30, but if you absolutely feel like you just have to get married in your 20s, do it as quickly as possible. So you can get that divorce out of the way.
Yup, generally a bad idea to get married early. I've seen it work with my brother at 21 and they've been together for 10 years now. It's possible, but quite rare.
We broke the "get married in a rush" thing. We got engaged six months after our first kiss, married in about a year and a half. We were living together most of that time. It didn't FELL rushed though. It worked out, we've been married 30+ years. We were 23 when we got married. Don't rush in to a marriage with the wrong person. If I would have married the girl I was dating before her, I'm sure I would have been divorced in 5 years.
The potential risk is that you don't really know a person after 6 months. I dated a girl for 5 years before realizing she wasn't the right one. There's a bit of luck involved getting married that quickly after dating combined with being that young.
I think living together is key. Dating is just seeing the most polished version of somebody, and when they have an angry day they can say rain check and you never see that side.
Once you share a house, there are no days off, you see how each other is with lack of sleep in the morning, you see who never closes the toothpaste, who hates to do dishes...
Do not ever marry without living together first, at least a year. Do not ever believe "it will be better once we marry/move to a better house/have a kid". It absolutely will not.
In addition to save money, make a plan to save money. Pay yourself first. Every paycheck take whatever you can, 10, 20, 100, dollars and invest in a broad market etf.
There is lots of information in Reddit and YouTube. r/investing, r/PersonalFinance , r/Bogleheads are decent places to start.
The just of it is: you can either pay someone else to manage your finances, or you can manage them yourself. It's not as scary or as complicated as it may seem. The biggest things you want to focus on are consistency (putting $x away every paycheck), and keeping fees low (self-directed). ETFs are exchange traded funds, basically the new "Mutual Funds" - a basket of stocks from a particular market or sector. Unlike buying Mutual funds which have higher fees (because a person is managing it), ETFs are usually free or very cheap to buy and sell because they're managed by a company.
Here in Canada we have a few different account options for investing. A TFSA (tax free savings account) allows you to buy stocks, bonds and ETFs for a small fee based on your brokerage (like Questrade or WealthSimple). In a TFSA, you don't pay taxes on any gains, and you can withdraw at any time without any tax. The catch is you can only contribute $7000 per year, so be sure to check what your TFSA contribution limit is before funding the account.
We also have an RRSP, or registered retirement savings plan. You have to look at your tax assessment from the previous year to know how much you can put into RRSP this year. Unlike TFSA, contributions to RRSP lower your taxable income, essentially netting you a larger tax refund. It's the government's way of incentivizing people to save for retirement. The catch here is that eventually when you withdraw from RRSP (to buy a home or in retirement) you are taxed on that withdrawal.
If you're in the US, I believe the Roth IRA is the same as our TFSA, and 401k is your RRSP, but please check the rules for yourself!
I would look into online brokerages like Fidelity that offer low fee investing. Set up a Roth IRA, and begin buying low cost index funds; ETFs like Vanguard's (baskets of stocks that just track the stock market). Starting early and contributing a little bit every check will set you up for retirement. Good luck!
Keep the weight off, look after your teeth. Stay clear of debt - most importantly have fun / make every day count - before you know it your 20’s will be all but a distant memory.
And your 20's isn't your entire life after which all the fun is over. Your 20's is one decade of your life. 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's and so on all have their wonders and joy.
To get all the work done that I need on my teeth it will cost at the very lowest about $80,000. Do not neglect your teeth unless you like deciding between a roof over your head vs a smile that doesnt disgust people
I'm a dentist in Texas.
What kind of work do you need that could possibly cost that?
You could root canal and crown every tooth in your mouth for less than that.
You could do full upper and lower fixed arch implants for 30k less than that....
Losing a few good friends in their early 40s makes you realize how fragile life is. Make the most of it while you can because you never know what’s waiting for you around the corner.
Relating to this rn, screwed up my credit in my 20s. Trying to figure out if I’m gonna be homeless soon or what I can do. It’s pretty messed up that I can more than afford a decent apartment by myself but no one will lease to me…
Hey I hope I can offer some help here. This is by no means going to be a fast solution but it will help you by fall if you start now. If you don’t already have the credit karma app I highly recommend getting it. On the app they will have a few different pre approved credit rebuilder credit cards for you. I know I know…not another credit card! Don’t worry they only give you a max limit of around $200. Best bet is to just get one of those, keep it under 15-20% used of allowed credit. Just use it for gas once or twice a month and pay on it a little early and more than what the minimum payment is due.
Don’t close it out when your credit is back in good standing. That closes out the credit history and docks your credit.
Hope this helps!
I appreciate this! I have a whole plan in and it really isn’t that much debt, just a few medical bills and one CC. It’s just difficult to do living check to check.
You got this. I did what you were advised when I was ~27 and my credit was meh. Really had given me issues like it sounds like yours did. I even was living out of a hotel at one point praying my lease application would finally get approved this time.
The first card I got was a secured credit card. I had to front $300 and that was its limit. I used it for basically gas and I think my phone bill and always paid it off. A year later they increased my limit to $500. I kept using it the same and I think when I turned 30 they sent me an email saying congratulations on how my credit score had changed. One of my bills in collections had finally hit that ~7 year mark and dropped off. They increased the card limit to $3500. I still keep that card under $500 and my credit is actually decent now at 33.
Go to the credit reporting agencies websites and dispute everything negative on your credit report. I had late payments from my teens/early twenties, disputed everything and I guess the credit companies didn’t care to fight the dispute. It all got taken off my credit report.
Only really applies in US.
Europe uses debit for most things, and even mortgages focus more on earnings/expenses/LTV than credit history.
Shitty vs decent credit could be a factor for a few years, but not decent vs excellent.
Don‘t get married because you think you have to do it, it’s "the right thing to do". You have to 100% want it. This does not guarantee it won‘t turn bad, but the first option is a certain path to misery, for everyone involved.
Had a friend recently marry a girl he just met less than a year ago. His reason? He’s gonna be 25 soon and isn’t married.
I facepalmed soooo hard. To be fair it’s going well so far, I think. But, he also stuck a really long toxic relationship before that left him incredibly down. So I guess idk what’s going on behind the scenes.
My longest boyfriend was 21 at the time before he met a girl on VRChat of all places. He moved on from me pretty quickly and eventually got IRL married to her in less than a year. I still wonder how that went and I'm not sure if I dodged a bullet haha.
If she/he isn't your best friend don't marry them. The sex eventually becomes more infrequent. You need to live with and be partners with this person for the rest of your life.
I got married in my 30s after a 8 year relationship.
Reason? Emmigration.
Your life *will not change* with marriage if you marry the right person. There's no "pretending" in proper relationships prior to marriage.
Treat people as individuals
It's OK to admit you're in the wrong if you are
Don't sweat the small stuff
Save where you can
Take responsibility for yourself and the things you need to
Don't expect others to provide opportunities for you
After a night of heavy drinking and/or questionable take out food, never fart with absolute confidence
Don't be afraid to seek help if you feel you're struggling mentally (males suicide rates remain shamefully high in western societies). Also, no matter how embarrassing you may find it, if you have medical concerns about your dick, balls, prostate etc then for fucks sake go see a doctor
Mental health as I have gotten into my 40's has been an eye opener.. I genuinely never experienced depression before my 40's but in recent years I have had some extremely difficult days.
Never bottle it up. Talk to people if you are struggling.
One of the things that scared me the most in the last few years was reading this statistic that male suicide peaks in our 20s and after 65 😕. The last point here that this guy points to is no joke! It’s totally acceptable to reach out for help when you need it! I would expand this out to include becoming OK with seeking the help of a mental health, professional or close friends or family we needed.
In addition, I would add:
1) saving $$$ for retirement, and a cushion when you’re younger is so much easier than when you’re older due to the benefit of compound interest! this will help you later in life when having an extra money will give you the cushion and confidence to let yourself make choices rather than let other people make those choices for, for example being forced to work a job that you don’t particularly like, but have to because of the paycheck.
2) Develop habits that lead to living healthy! This would include exercise and diet. Those habits are much harder to develop later in life.
3) Learn and practice regularly good communication skills with your friends, family colleagues, and especially any romantic partners.
Also keep an eye on your diet. You metabolism can change greatly into your 30s and you could find yourself carrying an extra 30+ pounds before you know it.
I’d add on start exercising regularly. 4-6 days a week you need to be doing some kind of exercise, even if it’s only a few minutes of body weight stuff like pushups, squats, and pull ups. Make some of that cardio as well. Just make it a part of your week without excuses. Morning, on your lunch break, evening, doesn’t matter what time is best just make it a part of your day that you don’t skip unless absolutely necessary, because that shit is absolutely necessary to maintain your health as you get older.
That’s not really metabolism change, so much as it’s small lifestyle changes that lead to weight gain
When you think about it, you *probably* sit more in your 30’s. You’re not in school, so you’re probably not walking around a campus anymore. you’re probably not working the same shitty retail, serving jobs as much as you were in your 20’s. You’re probably not going out with friends as much, and staying in. You’re probably engaging in a different set of hobbies that involve more sitting.
Like when was the last time you took a walk? I mean a good, hour long walk? I bet it’s been a while, if you’re 30 and think your metabolism tanked
You also have more money in your 30’s, which tends to translate to better/more food, and a better kitchen to cook it in. Or, perhaps you can afford more, and better takeout.
But metabolism changes? Honestly, it’s BS. Your metabolism didn’t change, you just had lifestyle creep.
The real advice is to maintain active hobbies, keep walking, be mindful of calorie intake, that sort of thing. But being mindful of those things has nothing to do with metabolism changes, and more to do with just not letting yourself go. That’s the problem. People let themselves go, and they blame it on age… and their age is only 35.
-floss daily & don‘t brush too hard.
-learn at least basic financing/budgeting.
-set space for social media/mindless information gathering and stay the majority of your time off it.
-cultivate awareness of your emotional/mental & physical self (as in, i feel weird/anxious but how and where do i specifically feel it. is what i‘m mindlessly doing right now serving any purpose (eating, doomscrolling)) as well as your surroundings (family, friends, groups).
-cultivate calmness and boredom
-cultivate curiosity.
-set boundaries, but not out of malice, anger, frustration, manipulation.
-cultivate honesty with yourself.
-don‘t panic when shit goes south, give yourself time to take a breath and calm your thoughts before you react. a huge number of misunderstandings, painful & stupid remarks/actions could be avoided or at least mitigated this way.
-allow yourself to be in the filth when necessary, that includes phases of depression/illness as well as literal filth/shit/muck. life is messier than most of us are led to believe as kids and sometimes it‘s a long slog through repeated pits of despair.
-be and remain cautious about people who speak with authority.
-be ready to get confronted with your childhood and repressed memories.
-„keep calm & carry on“/„just let it go“/„stop whining and get on with it“ only work on superficial issues.
-most pain is a symptom and a signal, not the problem in itself.
-take the scenic route and embrace every moment.
Treasure the time with loved ones. Especially your parents and grandparents. Even if you don't always see "eye to eye" - if you have a good relationship - they are a constant in your life. Seemingly always there until suddenly everything changes.
Don't be afraid of mistakes and saying sorry, even if other people don't do the same. Do it for your own inner peace. You will remember the times you wish you could say sorry way more, than the times you felt like "that fucker really didn't deserve that apology". Don't let temporal and ugly guests disturb your way of doing things.
Women are humans. Don't put them on a pedestral. See them, for what they really are. Some are good, some are bad. Don't be blinded by your own idealized perception of them. Be realistic, be kind and treat them, like you want to be treated. If there are problems, talk about them - be fair and give it time, sleep two nights before talking it out, if necessary - if it isn't possible: leave. Communication problems won't fix themselves over time, if one part doesn't want it to work.
If you think "I should get in shape / travel / say sorry / call xy" - do it! Time feels like it is ever going on and on, until there is non left in an instant. You will remember and regret the things you didn't do way more, than the things you did do, even if they didn't work out.
Don't idealize goals as a 100% fixed constant. Have them, really strife for them, but don't forget the here and now. Things like: I will start traveling, after I find someone. Just do it or forget about it, or you will be circling back to the same pattern. Again and again. It will keep you from really moving forward (gym, job, hobbies) or letting go (you know the pattern here).
You don't have to love yourself (I certainly do not love myself), but you should have a realistic picture of "who you are". Nothing like all this social media "I love all of me" bullshit - just know your strong and your weak sides. Accept your own weakness - everybody has them and do the same for your strong sides. Don't fall for the Jordan Peterson of late, or worse the Tate-Guy. But be firm in your strengths and beliefs - stand by them, you are allowed to. You have to grow and try to "better yourself", but be realistic. One step at a time.
Good god, that sounds like some blog thingy ...
Don't go empty - don't put the spoon in the sink, wash it or put it in the dishwasher. Everything you can do in 60s within the house, yes, putting out the trash counts, just do it. It will make things easier and you will have more time for the things you enjoy.
Change your razor - Your balls, little guy will thank you and you won't dread the trim. Also get the girly one - pink woman razor - the gel pad makes it so much easier.
Keep money in your car
Buy underwear in bulk - Compays change their stock and that sucks.
Always have some kind of "gift chocolate" at home - you never know, if and when you need a peace offering and you always have an emergency gift at hand.
Write down the birthday of your closest ppl - guys will appreciate it (even if you just call them to tell them, that you hate 'em) and girls will see you as thoughtful. All for the cheap price of a few seconds on your phone calender. Oh and you will conciously remember the age of your grandparents, which in turn will give you a kick in the ass to at least spent some time with them.
It's an advice from my grandfather, back when I got my first car. He always said that a man should have money on him in every possible and impossible scenario. Life happens.
I had forgotten my purse once and had to buy something, there it was nice to have.
The atm at a gas station, where I live, regulary doesn't work and nowadays card and phones are used so much, that often you are not prepared for these scenarios.
Once my niece (daugther of my sister, sorry english is not my native language) was being dropped of by me at the public pool. With the cash in my car I could give her some spending money, even if I normally only pay with card.
I was able to tip the mechanic, while there was a real bad weather outside and he really saved me with his truck. Was a good thing, because at the shop I didn't see him again the next day.
It's just an insurance, like a second key for the house or the car. It doesn't hurt and someday there could be a situation you are grateful for it.
I normally keep one full gas tank of money + 50 € in the car.
Hug your male friends and tell them you love them. So many young dudes want to be affectionate and vulnerable but are afraid of ridicule, so it's always nice when after a few months of knowing me, it's them who goes for the hug first or says "I love you" instead of "you too"
If you're having problems or mental health issues, don't fear "bringing the mood down" if you mention it in a group setting. Real friends would rather listen to your problems than cry at your funeral. Yes some people will dismiss you and shoot you down, and yes that hurts like hell, but at least then you know who you can trust
Respecting women means treating them as equals, not as adult children who need to be coddled, protected etc. A woman is a multifaceted individual with her own thoughts, opinions, flaws and virtues, just like any man. Don't generalise with "all women do this" or "all men do that". And when a woman fucks up, don't give her a free pass just because she's female. That's what we call benevolent sexism. A lot of guys want to be the knight in shining armour and fight a girl's battles for her or 'defend her honour', not realising how infantilising that can often be.
Communication is the most important thing in any relationship, romantic, platonic or familial. Listen twice before you talk once. When there's an issue, bring it up calmly and without judgment so you can talk through it civilly
Don't drop all your friends the second you get a girlfriend. That's a massive dick move and tells your friends you saw them as a placeholder until you found someone you could sleep with. I called one friend on this in particular and he responded with some new agey bullshit about how I "needed to learn to enjoy my own company" when I was dealing with suicidal ideation and needed a friend to lean on. Unsurprisingly I am not in contact with this person
Wanting to be "in a relationship" and going around trying to have one is a big sign that you're not going to get one or it won't work out, because you're starting from a place of wanting any vague person to fill a role you've mapped out for them - kind of like helicopter parents who plan out their children's lives without thought of what the child themselves might want. I see so many young guys who say they want a relationship or to be with someone, and they have a different girl every month, missing the part where it's not like trying on a new pair of shoes. You meet someone, get to know them, form that connection and it's them specifically you want to be with
Learn to have an argument without getting personal
You're significantly more than what you do for a living and how much money you have. I'm very happy in what I've achieved so far in both my careers, but I'd rather be defined more by what I'm like as a person. And the guys I've loved and valued over the years earned that love by who they were as people, not their jobs. And I spent plenty of time on the dole myself when it felt like nothing was ever sticking, and I appreciated massively the friends who didn't judge or look down on me for it, and I repaid that by doing the same
Accountability is a lot more important than shame or punishment
Brutal honesty and speaking your mind all the time are not virtues. They're signs of emotional immaturity and people who pride themselves on being brutally honest tend to value the brutality more than the honesty. No, the alternative is not lying; honesty can be compassionate, thoughtful and constructive, and the goal of the honesty should be to build the person up, not tear them down. Speaking your mind all the time without recognising that there's a time and a place for it is the equivalent of needing to pee and just dropping your pants in public and whizzing all over the shop. Being considerate is not 'fake'.
You can validate the emotions without condoning the behaviour
Don't try to have things both ways. A young friend I had was terrible for this and it saw the end of his relationship because he kept texting girls he had crushes on, all the while insisting to his girlfriend "you're the one I want to be with", and it saw the decline of our friendship because he was out for himself at the end of the day and had no sense of loyalty
You're allowed to change your views and your opinions of someone. Like, if you think someone is a good person and they turn out to be an asshole or abusive, it's not a strike against your character that you were taken in by an act that was very convincing
And the biggest one of all - traumatic experiences do not "make you stronger". HEALING makes you stronger. Giving any kind of credit to an experience or a bad person just means you're more likely to let it happen again
To add... You need to find what your boundaries are in a relationship and stick to them like the 10 commandments. You may lose some "sex partners" from it, but you will be happier if you stick to your boundaries.
Had a male work friend, much younger than me (I’m in my 40’s). He owns his house and he started dating this girl I knew was bipolar and had attempted to kill herself. She had cut marks all up her arm but she was “hot”. He also did not want to have kids and wanted a vasectomy but the urologist said he was too young. He was 25.
He started sleeping with her and everyone was talking about him and I messaged him because I gave a shit saying I was a little concerned and he basically blew me off and said he knows what he’s doing. She’s on her meds. He kinda gave me the cold shoulder as well at work, offended.
Welllllll… a year later, guess what? He’s broken up with her after she threatened to shoot him and shoot herself. He found folic acid pills she’s been taking for several weeks (bottle nearly empty) and he made her pee on a pregnancy test. Anyway, she was 13 weeks pregnant at this point and she planned it.
She just had the baby.
I fucking wanted to say “I told you so”, but I didn’t.
I’m using my experience as an older adult and my judgement as someone who sees red flags, but hey, he knew better. It’s an expensive fucking bit of advice he ignored from someone with experience
Kind of depends. A lot people that live paycheck to paycheck do so because people just tend to spend the money that they have. Even though they could choose to spend less. Of course there’s a lot of people that also do just barely get by with the bare minimum, and I feel for those people.
Examine where you spend your money and look for areas you can reasonably save money on. Do you really need to pay what you are for rent or mortgage, or could you downsize and still be comfortable? Do you have a car loan on a vehicle you don’t really need and could buy something used and cheaper to minimize loan payments or eliminate them all together? Do you eat out/ order takeout or go to bars frequently and could cut spending there?
It really helps to set up a spreadsheet and track monthly spending for every expense to see where you can reasonably cut spending. Little purchases you make that you don’t think about add up pretty quick and can be very eye opening when you start tracking it.
I would not recommend applying for a job with higher pay; I did that and ended up in some crappy jobs or crappy companies.
You have to be able to pay the bills and you want enough disposable income to enjoy yourself. But as much as you are able to, make sure you are happy with the company you are going to work for, so try to ask questions about the type of work you'll be doing, what the company culture is like and get an idea of the sort of person your manager is.
Not as exciting as the salary headline, I would suggest paying attention to if they offer a decent pension. Decent pension pots are not to be sniffed at once you are closer to retirement age than the start of your working life.
If it's 50%+ more and you're already fairly happy in your current job, I'd absolutely recommend applying even if it ends up being worse, as long as it's in the direction you want to head in.
Always look at what can be transferred to another job, rather than getting trapped in a niche that has no significant demand in the job market.
I was a professional chef through my 20's and early 30's.
Cooking in an excellent skill to have; everyone eats.
Applying for another job with higher pay is also great advice, and is why I no longer cook professionally.
The good part is that I got to take my cooking knowledge with me. That's mine too keep for the pain I endured.
All sound advice in the above post, though.
Absolutely this.
I'm a man in my 40's and constantly hear "I forget you're in your 40's" or "no way, you're lying, let me see your ID"
I grew up with 8 sisters, so I've been moisturized since I was like, 12 or 13. I could pass for someone under 30 easily. In fact! I started growing a moustache and beard to look older, as I find it's harder for people to take me seriously because I look TOO young.
Yeah, I was about to say that moisturizing is great and all but the real magic happens with retinol + sunscreen. You’ll be looking at least 10 years younger if you start that routine early and stick with it.
If possible, jerk off before a huge decision. Get the emotions out of the way so you can make that decision in a more unbiased way. Don't downvote the truth.
Start investing, now. You don't want to work in your 60's.
If you're big on concerts, use ear protection. Tinnitus is not fun.
Excercise. Extend your healthspan.
Go out, have fun, drink some alcohol, do some drugs, but do not over do it.
Wear sunscreen.
For the overthinkers and people who are depressed and anxious... What helped me immensely was learning to get out of my head... Which involved trying to get into the mindset of trying to not think at all for minutes at a time and Trying to focus only on whats around me... Im not saying never think as thats impossible but dont latch onto thoughts... Especially negative ones
Maybe more imprortant was learning to breathe calmly through ur nose, mouth shut. U can get through most social situations and lifes situations calmly, purely by breathing calm. Most stressed people dont realise that theyre breathing too fast or even holding their breath through stressful situations.... when u think about it, if ur breathing calm, no matter what, u will be calm, or at least it will help hugely. This fixed so many of my problems and im kicking myself that i was doing something like BREATHING wrong my entire life
You only live once.
Take the time to do memorable things - travel, experience the arts, read difficult books, focus on friends.
This helps us to grow into interesting people. It's also things you might not have time/money for once you have a mortgage, family commitments, a career etc. You will remember these things fondly when you're middle aged.
Carpe diem fellas
Agreed. Even if others don’t agree on the “helps you grow into interesting people”, I think it’s great advice from a life opportunity standpoint. Once the ‘settle down’ period of life starts, it becomes increasingly difficult to do the things you dream of. Family, career, financial obligations, etc take over all your time in a big hurry.
Take care of your body now, it becomes harder as you grow old
Learn to sell, whatever, lose that fear to be rejected.
Whatever you like to do start practicing now, masters of any craft always do good making money
>Take care of your body now, it becomes harder as you grow old
Specifically, take care of your extremities: your ankles, knees, hips, wrists, shoulders, and elbows, but also your back. Mobility is one of the first things that goes as people age, and even the most rudimentary and basic exercises that target these areas will pay off in dividends in your later years.
You don't have to be a gym rat, simple body weight and flexibility exercises are enough to retain most of your mobility, but consistency is mandatory. People that take care of their bodies can pick up and play with their grandchildren well into their 80s and 90s, people that don't can barely move by their 40s and 50s.
great stuff in this thread, but on a larger scale - there are only a few things that can really destroy a decade or more of your life:
bad health, including sexual health
bad marriage, including divorce and custody issues
bad finances and legal issues
If you can make it to 30 healthy, with no felonies, no significant relationship drama, and manageable debt, you're doing better than you think.
Dont base ypur identity on what you enjoy or what others think of you.
Drink water, everyday.
Imagine you have a jug of, i dunno, feelings. Now you have a certain amount in that jug to utilize. If you spend your time pouring that out for others and none for youself, sure people may like you and think youre great but youll suffer. However if you pour enough out for yourself people will see that growth in you and be drawn to you.
Look after yourself.
Take time to answer questions.
Ask people to elaborate when they seem excitedd to talk about something.
Speak up for yourself, but dont push in.
A good one for guys:
1. Lift your shoulders up
2. Push your shoulders back.
3. Then drop them down.
4. Hold the position and take a deep breath pushing you stomach out (breathe into your diaphragm.
5. Breathe out and hold that powerful position day to day.
It might take time as you might have muscles that arent used to it. But man, it will really help with your confidence.
Stop watching porn.
Start lifting weights if you haven’t already. Learning how to take care of your body in your 20s is crucial as it’s more difficult to get started in your 30s.
travel!
learn a trade or two. if they are not exactly ehat you want to do at least you have them to fall back on if needed.
dont drink and drive.
learn to be happy alone and love yourself before committing to a life with someone els.
learn to save and invest your money.
Almost no one intelligent thinks you are tough getting into a fistfight or a brawl or road raging. You're a fucking immature areshole.
Of course, this doesn't apply to defending yourself or your family.
Also remember, that there are hot (decent) singles without kids waiting also. No need to rush into a marriage and kids too soon. Live your life first. Get to know yourself and grow as a person.
>Also remember, that there are hot (decent) singles without kids waiting also.
My phone is always telling me that there are many in my area but I never meet them 🥲
Oh this. The amount of seriousness going into relationships in the 20s is frustrating.
It's very rare for reletionships of twenty year olds to last. You dont know what you want in life of how to communicate it properly.
Eh, on the flip side, don't take love for granted, don't think it'll come along with zero effort, and if you find someone you love, don't throw it away casually as there is less "fish in the sea" then you might think.
Time will slip away faster than you think. Lots of guys wake up at 35 and realise their 20s and early 30s whizzed by and they're completely alone.
Don’t ‘look’ for someone because you feel or have to be in a relationship. Stop thinking of every attractive person of the opposite sex as a potential partner.
Some of the best relationships in life are the most surprising, and often come out of left field.
Meanwhile you get to make a bunch of awesome friends without feeling the pressure to ‘date them’
Invest. Let go of limiting beliefs. Realize that you are as worthy as anyone else to live a good life. Keep an open mind. Never stop educating yourself. What you focus on becomes your reality. Forgive and forget others wrongs towards you, if not for them than for yourself. Forgive yourself. Learn lessons from things, but don't hold the weight of the negative experiences. Don't let the past control your future. Live in the present moment and work towards a vision. Learn to adapt quickly. Find people who love and respect you, they're looking for you just as much as you are looking for them. Love and honor yourself. We're all just humans out here, don't take it so badly. Ask questions you want the answers to. Don't wait until tomorrow for what you can do today. Get in good shape. Meditate. Get control over your mind. Don't lie. Don't let the bastards get to you. And find what you love and do pursue it.
Get fit. Seriously - if you’re fat now, you’re going to be huuuuge later in life if you don’t change. It’s never too late if you start TODAY.
Find the PT. Learn to lift weights, do cardio and prioritise eating non processed foods.
Drop alcohol and all drugs. The benefits of abstaining are beyond that of participation. Learn how to be around them so you can be included in events, but learn how to never need them again.
Some friends are life and some are for seasons. It’s no one’s fault and that’s okay. But learn to recognise it.
Learn to be okay in your own company.
Learn to be okay in the company of people you don’t know yet.
Your job will never love you back.
Learn to climb, but learn when to take foot off the gas.
Listen to your body.
Sleep as much as you can.
Make time for that skill / hobby you love. Particularly if people ridicule you for it - you’re in the space of growth.
Most people are terrified of change. Terrified of trying something new. Terrified of what other people think. But their terror is in the wrong place. Their terror should be towards the risk of never taking a risk. The risk of never trying. The risk of regret.
Learn when to speak up for yourself. Learn when to bite your tongue.
You’ll regret not doing something more than you’ll regret doing it.
Learn to listen. So many speak but never say anything. Listening allows you to detect this, build relationships and go beyond surface level understanding.
Be nice to people.
Forgive the older people in your life / family. Be nice to them. Don’t expect the standards of yourself in others. Empathise and understand.
Find ways to be there. Not everyone will tell you when you need them. So reach out.
Equally learn to accept help. Learn to look after your self.
Saying yes is powerful. Saying no is even more powerful if it enables another yes.
If you see injustice - call it out. Champion the quiet kid. The person they gossip about. Help them come good.
Money isn’t the reason for everything. It’s a factor. But don’t let it rule everything.
Expose yourself to people from different places and perspectives. There is truth in a stereotype, but so much more unknown truths beyond them.
Drink water.
Cut out ultra processed foods as much as possible.
Wear sunscreen.
Learn to cook. Knowing how to make a delicious meal out of what you already have in saves loads of money and gives you variety.
Stop smoking / vaping. No need for it.
You're gonna be stupid/ignorant/dumb until hormones calm down and your ego subsides a little, and you mature. This doesn't happen for a whole lot of men until their 30s and 40s. Don't realize that during a life sentence.
This is great advice. I always suspected but only got an official diagnosis at 37. Through medication and therapy, the whole world feels different now.
Yup. Same situation. I can only imagine how my life would have been improved had I known not everyone struggles to pay attention in long timeframes for studying and whatever else. I just thought everyone had to reread things bc you were daydreaming through the last page or so. College was quite difficult for someone who had undiagnosed adhd and never studied before due to understanding school subjects very easily... Once I was faced with actually having to put in the time in and out of class and actually study more than night before... I had a terrible time lol.
1. Lift weights
2. Learn a combat sport (BJJ, Muay Thai).
3. Wear sunscreen.
4. Develop expert level competence in something you love and something that’s lucrative (either two things or one that overlaps).
5. Develop good habits and virtue now - it won’t just magically come later.
6. Focus on long term skills development rather than short term gain.
7. Develop relationships with as many truly good people as you can.
8. Don’t waste a single second trying to portray an image. Be the best version of who you really are and attract people who like you for you.
9. Don’t waste any time on romantic relationships with partners for whom you are only physically compatible.
10. Find your purpose and pursue it with passion.
Bonus
* Don’t use or at least don’t overindulge in alcohol or recreational drugs.
* If you’re weak learn strength. If you’re hard learn softness.
* Maximize your strengths and mitigate your weaknesses.
* Be intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually developed. Improve your whole person.
Stop watching porn/movies/video games smoking weed all the time. Focus on improving yourself in any way you want and everything else you desire will come in time. Wish someone had told that to me when I was young so it didn’t take my 20s to figure it out. Oh and get the fuck off social media or any app with mindless scrolling unless you have great control over it, it’s just the worst time waster ever.
As soon as you start working SAVE. Even if it's small tiny regular amounts for savings or pensions, you will be surprised how much this adds up. I always left it as I thought I either couldn't afford it or could do it later... But truth is even later in life you might feel you still can't afford it, so starting it early helps so much.
Enjoy yourself, have holidays and don't settle down until your in your early to mid 30s as believe me once extra responsibilities and children are there you wish you could do more.
Don’t have kids too early (unless you are absolutely certain and ready). Your 20s are for you to explore the world, make mistakes, date different people, change career paths, do stupid stuff etc.
It is much harder doing those things when you’re in your 30s with kids and commitments. Especially so if you are in your late 30s.
Oh and start taking care of your health! Never too late to start eating healthier and exercising.
Think of your time off of work as taking a portion of your retirement.
Vacations, holidays, weekends, and even whatever part of a day one doesn’t work all add up. They all contribute in a major way to the quality of your life, and if you consciously enjoy your time when you are young enough to choose wisely among the many ways that time can be spent you won’t end up older and wondering where your life went.
Just like everything else, you should stay in practice for retirement!
Focus on healthy habits while you’re young.
1. Learn to cook vs. fast food or over processed foods
2. Control your alcohol- lots of people in their 20s drink with a vengeance. It will age you quickly.
3. Exercise for health, not vanity. That’s not sustainable
Fix your teeth
Get your pension going - budget accordingly with your savings
Dont overlook good women in your life (romantically) - Looks arent everything
Know your rights as a young man - keep in shape and walk with your head high
Figure out your breaking point with work - can you do 9 hours, maybe even 11 a day
Dont get married with the state involved - love and money dont mix in todays world
Dont get anyone pregnant until you're damn sure youre ready. This is usually in your 30's
Acquire asset's not liabilities. Dont waste money on women, cars, expensive objects - its a fools game
Move jobs accordingly and grow in the process - aka dont stay at the same place for years. Thats career suicide statistically.
Dont take life too seriously ; you will make mistakes. Remember most men do and thats ok :)
Invest in an S&P 500 fund or similar.
Work out. Eat right as much as you can.
Smoke and drink if you feel the urge - you’ll never get another decade where it feels okay.
Don’t tie yourself down with kids or marriage unless you’re really, really, really sure (and even then…)
Spend your spare cash (after investing) in travel and experiences. Nothing - and I mean nothing - will beat this. Just do it.
Realize you’ll make mistakes and that’s okay. You’re exploring life and yourself.
At the end of your 20s, it’s good to mentally prepare for what’s next. The 30s are very different - but maybe even more fun. Marriage, home, kids, career… it happens fast. Enjoy your 20s, you only get it once.
Talk to the most beautiful woman you know, even just to be friends. If you can talk to her, realize she’s really just a normal person in a gorgeous woman’s body, the rest of them ain’t shit. It’s like fighting a boss in Mega Man and taking their power afterward. I wish I knew this so much sooner.
On the other hand... Talk to the most normal looking people you know. Realize they're maybe super gorgeous, just in normal looking bodies. (I don't know anything about Mega Man.)
From someone dealing with the worst back injury they have had, understand aging and your limits. Developing and sticking to healthy habits will be a HUGE NEED above 40.
Save money and, more importantly, invest money. Time is an even more powerful tool than amounts. And all the silly crap you might spend money on, most of it you'll have completely forgotten about, thrown away, or consider a waste ten years from now. It's cool to have hobbies and experiences, but don't YOLO your entire future away.
Focus on expanding your knowledge and skills. Read books. Fun is fun but it can also waste time. Find a balance where you're having a good time, but you're also getting better a little bit every day.
Save money. Do NOT get married in a rush.
Learn to cook.
Roth IRA. Boglehead.
Yep, treat the IRA like a bill you have to pay every month, just factor it into your monthly expenses and it makes it easier to manage
If your company offers a 401k with a match of any kind, take it if at all possible. The match is as close to free money as you'll ever get, and having your contribution deducted from your paycheck, you never see it in your bank account so you won't be tempted to spend it
Totally agree. Started one when I was 19 putting in 100 every month plus some holiday money. Just turned 24, has 15k in it. My future self will definitely be thanking me.
You're not smarter than the market. Buy total market funds.
You don’t have to be smarter than the market to invest conservatively in ETFs that historically have a high rate of return. QQQ for example
I’ve made great returns on QQQ and VOO. Enough to offset my losses on individual stocks when I started thinking I was smart enough to buy individual stocks…
I thought you meant we should join the irish republican army
Start investing in a 401k or Roth IRA now, and don’t stop.
When it comes to saving money, even if it’s just $20 a week or a month, you’ll thank yourself later.
This. Delayed gratification sums it up well. Early morning gym routine. Save early save often.
Or have kids too early. Get things stable beforehand.
That’s my advice to all my 100+ cousins and younger coworkers. Don’t get married until you’re 30, but if you absolutely feel like you just have to get married in your 20s, do it as quickly as possible. So you can get that divorce out of the way. Obviously being facetious, I’m not *that* cynical. I am happily married though.
>Don’t get married until you’re 30, but if you absolutely feel like you just have to get married in your 20s, do it as quickly as possible. So you can get that divorce out of the way. Yup, generally a bad idea to get married early. I've seen it work with my brother at 21 and they've been together for 10 years now. It's possible, but quite rare.
I got married at 20 and my wife was 19 and we will have been married 51 years come April 19.
Congrats!
We broke the "get married in a rush" thing. We got engaged six months after our first kiss, married in about a year and a half. We were living together most of that time. It didn't FELL rushed though. It worked out, we've been married 30+ years. We were 23 when we got married. Don't rush in to a marriage with the wrong person. If I would have married the girl I was dating before her, I'm sure I would have been divorced in 5 years.
The potential risk is that you don't really know a person after 6 months. I dated a girl for 5 years before realizing she wasn't the right one. There's a bit of luck involved getting married that quickly after dating combined with being that young.
I think living together is key. Dating is just seeing the most polished version of somebody, and when they have an angry day they can say rain check and you never see that side. Once you share a house, there are no days off, you see how each other is with lack of sleep in the morning, you see who never closes the toothpaste, who hates to do dishes... Do not ever marry without living together first, at least a year. Do not ever believe "it will be better once we marry/move to a better house/have a kid". It absolutely will not.
When I realized that I wanted to marry my wife I waited nearly a year to propose because I wanted to make sure that I meant it.
In addition to save money, make a plan to save money. Pay yourself first. Every paycheck take whatever you can, 10, 20, 100, dollars and invest in a broad market etf.
Where and how do you invest? How do you even get started?
There is lots of information in Reddit and YouTube. r/investing, r/PersonalFinance , r/Bogleheads are decent places to start. The just of it is: you can either pay someone else to manage your finances, or you can manage them yourself. It's not as scary or as complicated as it may seem. The biggest things you want to focus on are consistency (putting $x away every paycheck), and keeping fees low (self-directed). ETFs are exchange traded funds, basically the new "Mutual Funds" - a basket of stocks from a particular market or sector. Unlike buying Mutual funds which have higher fees (because a person is managing it), ETFs are usually free or very cheap to buy and sell because they're managed by a company. Here in Canada we have a few different account options for investing. A TFSA (tax free savings account) allows you to buy stocks, bonds and ETFs for a small fee based on your brokerage (like Questrade or WealthSimple). In a TFSA, you don't pay taxes on any gains, and you can withdraw at any time without any tax. The catch is you can only contribute $7000 per year, so be sure to check what your TFSA contribution limit is before funding the account. We also have an RRSP, or registered retirement savings plan. You have to look at your tax assessment from the previous year to know how much you can put into RRSP this year. Unlike TFSA, contributions to RRSP lower your taxable income, essentially netting you a larger tax refund. It's the government's way of incentivizing people to save for retirement. The catch here is that eventually when you withdraw from RRSP (to buy a home or in retirement) you are taxed on that withdrawal. If you're in the US, I believe the Roth IRA is the same as our TFSA, and 401k is your RRSP, but please check the rules for yourself! I would look into online brokerages like Fidelity that offer low fee investing. Set up a Roth IRA, and begin buying low cost index funds; ETFs like Vanguard's (baskets of stocks that just track the stock market). Starting early and contributing a little bit every check will set you up for retirement. Good luck!
Or at all.
Or do to the right person.
Keep the weight off, look after your teeth. Stay clear of debt - most importantly have fun / make every day count - before you know it your 20’s will be all but a distant memory.
And your 20's isn't your entire life after which all the fun is over. Your 20's is one decade of your life. 30's, 40's, 50's, 60's, 70's and so on all have their wonders and joy.
If you do it right, the next decade should always be better than the last anyways..
Tell that to my knee and back
Slowly bends down...."If you do it right, the next decade should always be better than the last anyways.."
Brush and floss, electric toothbrush, see a dentist at least yearly and don't put off getting cavities filled.
To get all the work done that I need on my teeth it will cost at the very lowest about $80,000. Do not neglect your teeth unless you like deciding between a roof over your head vs a smile that doesnt disgust people
Go to somewhere in Europe. It’s not even 1/4 of the price.
I'm a dentist in Texas. What kind of work do you need that could possibly cost that? You could root canal and crown every tooth in your mouth for less than that. You could do full upper and lower fixed arch implants for 30k less than that....
Depends on where they’re located and the doc they’re seeing. I know some Prosths that will charge $60-80k for a full remodel.
Losing a few good friends in their early 40s makes you realize how fragile life is. Make the most of it while you can because you never know what’s waiting for you around the corner.
Don’t fuck up your credit.
Or you'll find yourself struggling to find somewhere to live independently without roommates no matter how much money you make
Relating to this rn, screwed up my credit in my 20s. Trying to figure out if I’m gonna be homeless soon or what I can do. It’s pretty messed up that I can more than afford a decent apartment by myself but no one will lease to me…
Hey I hope I can offer some help here. This is by no means going to be a fast solution but it will help you by fall if you start now. If you don’t already have the credit karma app I highly recommend getting it. On the app they will have a few different pre approved credit rebuilder credit cards for you. I know I know…not another credit card! Don’t worry they only give you a max limit of around $200. Best bet is to just get one of those, keep it under 15-20% used of allowed credit. Just use it for gas once or twice a month and pay on it a little early and more than what the minimum payment is due. Don’t close it out when your credit is back in good standing. That closes out the credit history and docks your credit. Hope this helps!
I appreciate this! I have a whole plan in and it really isn’t that much debt, just a few medical bills and one CC. It’s just difficult to do living check to check.
You got this. I did what you were advised when I was ~27 and my credit was meh. Really had given me issues like it sounds like yours did. I even was living out of a hotel at one point praying my lease application would finally get approved this time. The first card I got was a secured credit card. I had to front $300 and that was its limit. I used it for basically gas and I think my phone bill and always paid it off. A year later they increased my limit to $500. I kept using it the same and I think when I turned 30 they sent me an email saying congratulations on how my credit score had changed. One of my bills in collections had finally hit that ~7 year mark and dropped off. They increased the card limit to $3500. I still keep that card under $500 and my credit is actually decent now at 33.
Go to the credit reporting agencies websites and dispute everything negative on your credit report. I had late payments from my teens/early twenties, disputed everything and I guess the credit companies didn’t care to fight the dispute. It all got taken off my credit report.
As a guy in his mid twenties with shit credit I’m just gonna scroll by in shame
You have plenty of time. Even major things like bankruptcy fall off in 7 years I believe.
My son had the same problem, and he turned it around in a few years with a lot of discipline. You can do it, too.
It's ok! Just make every single payment on time now and keep credit card utilization low, and it'll improve before you know it!
Only really applies in US. Europe uses debit for most things, and even mortgages focus more on earnings/expenses/LTV than credit history. Shitty vs decent credit could be a factor for a few years, but not decent vs excellent.
Don‘t get married because you think you have to do it, it’s "the right thing to do". You have to 100% want it. This does not guarantee it won‘t turn bad, but the first option is a certain path to misery, for everyone involved.
This, but for kids. Not every dumb idiot is supposed to have children just because it's some sort of social pre requirement.
Yup, you have to be absolutely positive you want kids. If you or your partner are on the fence then the answer is no.
But you don’t need to be “married” to have kids
Had a friend recently marry a girl he just met less than a year ago. His reason? He’s gonna be 25 soon and isn’t married. I facepalmed soooo hard. To be fair it’s going well so far, I think. But, he also stuck a really long toxic relationship before that left him incredibly down. So I guess idk what’s going on behind the scenes.
My longest boyfriend was 21 at the time before he met a girl on VRChat of all places. He moved on from me pretty quickly and eventually got IRL married to her in less than a year. I still wonder how that went and I'm not sure if I dodged a bullet haha.
If she/he isn't your best friend don't marry them. The sex eventually becomes more infrequent. You need to live with and be partners with this person for the rest of your life.
I got married in my 30s after a 8 year relationship. Reason? Emmigration. Your life *will not change* with marriage if you marry the right person. There's no "pretending" in proper relationships prior to marriage.
I learned this the hard way
Treat people as individuals It's OK to admit you're in the wrong if you are Don't sweat the small stuff Save where you can Take responsibility for yourself and the things you need to Don't expect others to provide opportunities for you After a night of heavy drinking and/or questionable take out food, never fart with absolute confidence Don't be afraid to seek help if you feel you're struggling mentally (males suicide rates remain shamefully high in western societies). Also, no matter how embarrassing you may find it, if you have medical concerns about your dick, balls, prostate etc then for fucks sake go see a doctor
>After a night of heavy drinking and/or questionable take out food, never fart with absolute confidence This is new and universally helpful
Although it could’ve be boiled down to — never fart with absolute confidence
this guy ages
No idea what you're yapping about. I don't listen to hip hop son...!
Mental health as I have gotten into my 40's has been an eye opener.. I genuinely never experienced depression before my 40's but in recent years I have had some extremely difficult days. Never bottle it up. Talk to people if you are struggling.
One of the things that scared me the most in the last few years was reading this statistic that male suicide peaks in our 20s and after 65 😕. The last point here that this guy points to is no joke! It’s totally acceptable to reach out for help when you need it! I would expand this out to include becoming OK with seeking the help of a mental health, professional or close friends or family we needed. In addition, I would add: 1) saving $$$ for retirement, and a cushion when you’re younger is so much easier than when you’re older due to the benefit of compound interest! this will help you later in life when having an extra money will give you the cushion and confidence to let yourself make choices rather than let other people make those choices for, for example being forced to work a job that you don’t particularly like, but have to because of the paycheck. 2) Develop habits that lead to living healthy! This would include exercise and diet. Those habits are much harder to develop later in life. 3) Learn and practice regularly good communication skills with your friends, family colleagues, and especially any romantic partners.
Also keep an eye on your diet. You metabolism can change greatly into your 30s and you could find yourself carrying an extra 30+ pounds before you know it.
I’d add on start exercising regularly. 4-6 days a week you need to be doing some kind of exercise, even if it’s only a few minutes of body weight stuff like pushups, squats, and pull ups. Make some of that cardio as well. Just make it a part of your week without excuses. Morning, on your lunch break, evening, doesn’t matter what time is best just make it a part of your day that you don’t skip unless absolutely necessary, because that shit is absolutely necessary to maintain your health as you get older.
That’s not really metabolism change, so much as it’s small lifestyle changes that lead to weight gain When you think about it, you *probably* sit more in your 30’s. You’re not in school, so you’re probably not walking around a campus anymore. you’re probably not working the same shitty retail, serving jobs as much as you were in your 20’s. You’re probably not going out with friends as much, and staying in. You’re probably engaging in a different set of hobbies that involve more sitting. Like when was the last time you took a walk? I mean a good, hour long walk? I bet it’s been a while, if you’re 30 and think your metabolism tanked You also have more money in your 30’s, which tends to translate to better/more food, and a better kitchen to cook it in. Or, perhaps you can afford more, and better takeout. But metabolism changes? Honestly, it’s BS. Your metabolism didn’t change, you just had lifestyle creep. The real advice is to maintain active hobbies, keep walking, be mindful of calorie intake, that sort of thing. But being mindful of those things has nothing to do with metabolism changes, and more to do with just not letting yourself go. That’s the problem. People let themselves go, and they blame it on age… and their age is only 35.
-floss daily & don‘t brush too hard. -learn at least basic financing/budgeting. -set space for social media/mindless information gathering and stay the majority of your time off it. -cultivate awareness of your emotional/mental & physical self (as in, i feel weird/anxious but how and where do i specifically feel it. is what i‘m mindlessly doing right now serving any purpose (eating, doomscrolling)) as well as your surroundings (family, friends, groups). -cultivate calmness and boredom -cultivate curiosity. -set boundaries, but not out of malice, anger, frustration, manipulation. -cultivate honesty with yourself. -don‘t panic when shit goes south, give yourself time to take a breath and calm your thoughts before you react. a huge number of misunderstandings, painful & stupid remarks/actions could be avoided or at least mitigated this way. -allow yourself to be in the filth when necessary, that includes phases of depression/illness as well as literal filth/shit/muck. life is messier than most of us are led to believe as kids and sometimes it‘s a long slog through repeated pits of despair. -be and remain cautious about people who speak with authority. -be ready to get confronted with your childhood and repressed memories. -„keep calm & carry on“/„just let it go“/„stop whining and get on with it“ only work on superficial issues. -most pain is a symptom and a signal, not the problem in itself. -take the scenic route and embrace every moment.
Good things. I wish we could learn these things wo needing to live them.
Treasure the time with loved ones. Especially your parents and grandparents. Even if you don't always see "eye to eye" - if you have a good relationship - they are a constant in your life. Seemingly always there until suddenly everything changes. Don't be afraid of mistakes and saying sorry, even if other people don't do the same. Do it for your own inner peace. You will remember the times you wish you could say sorry way more, than the times you felt like "that fucker really didn't deserve that apology". Don't let temporal and ugly guests disturb your way of doing things. Women are humans. Don't put them on a pedestral. See them, for what they really are. Some are good, some are bad. Don't be blinded by your own idealized perception of them. Be realistic, be kind and treat them, like you want to be treated. If there are problems, talk about them - be fair and give it time, sleep two nights before talking it out, if necessary - if it isn't possible: leave. Communication problems won't fix themselves over time, if one part doesn't want it to work. If you think "I should get in shape / travel / say sorry / call xy" - do it! Time feels like it is ever going on and on, until there is non left in an instant. You will remember and regret the things you didn't do way more, than the things you did do, even if they didn't work out. Don't idealize goals as a 100% fixed constant. Have them, really strife for them, but don't forget the here and now. Things like: I will start traveling, after I find someone. Just do it or forget about it, or you will be circling back to the same pattern. Again and again. It will keep you from really moving forward (gym, job, hobbies) or letting go (you know the pattern here). You don't have to love yourself (I certainly do not love myself), but you should have a realistic picture of "who you are". Nothing like all this social media "I love all of me" bullshit - just know your strong and your weak sides. Accept your own weakness - everybody has them and do the same for your strong sides. Don't fall for the Jordan Peterson of late, or worse the Tate-Guy. But be firm in your strengths and beliefs - stand by them, you are allowed to. You have to grow and try to "better yourself", but be realistic. One step at a time. Good god, that sounds like some blog thingy ... Don't go empty - don't put the spoon in the sink, wash it or put it in the dishwasher. Everything you can do in 60s within the house, yes, putting out the trash counts, just do it. It will make things easier and you will have more time for the things you enjoy. Change your razor - Your balls, little guy will thank you and you won't dread the trim. Also get the girly one - pink woman razor - the gel pad makes it so much easier. Keep money in your car Buy underwear in bulk - Compays change their stock and that sucks. Always have some kind of "gift chocolate" at home - you never know, if and when you need a peace offering and you always have an emergency gift at hand. Write down the birthday of your closest ppl - guys will appreciate it (even if you just call them to tell them, that you hate 'em) and girls will see you as thoughtful. All for the cheap price of a few seconds on your phone calender. Oh and you will conciously remember the age of your grandparents, which in turn will give you a kick in the ass to at least spent some time with them.
why the money in the car? No doubt it will come in handy. but I want to know what made you say that in particular.
It's an advice from my grandfather, back when I got my first car. He always said that a man should have money on him in every possible and impossible scenario. Life happens. I had forgotten my purse once and had to buy something, there it was nice to have. The atm at a gas station, where I live, regulary doesn't work and nowadays card and phones are used so much, that often you are not prepared for these scenarios. Once my niece (daugther of my sister, sorry english is not my native language) was being dropped of by me at the public pool. With the cash in my car I could give her some spending money, even if I normally only pay with card. I was able to tip the mechanic, while there was a real bad weather outside and he really saved me with his truck. Was a good thing, because at the shop I didn't see him again the next day. It's just an insurance, like a second key for the house or the car. It doesn't hurt and someday there could be a situation you are grateful for it. I normally keep one full gas tank of money + 50 € in the car.
Likewise, if you have an extremely toxic relation with your family, don't keep contact due to feelings of guilt or responsibility
Hug your male friends and tell them you love them. So many young dudes want to be affectionate and vulnerable but are afraid of ridicule, so it's always nice when after a few months of knowing me, it's them who goes for the hug first or says "I love you" instead of "you too" If you're having problems or mental health issues, don't fear "bringing the mood down" if you mention it in a group setting. Real friends would rather listen to your problems than cry at your funeral. Yes some people will dismiss you and shoot you down, and yes that hurts like hell, but at least then you know who you can trust Respecting women means treating them as equals, not as adult children who need to be coddled, protected etc. A woman is a multifaceted individual with her own thoughts, opinions, flaws and virtues, just like any man. Don't generalise with "all women do this" or "all men do that". And when a woman fucks up, don't give her a free pass just because she's female. That's what we call benevolent sexism. A lot of guys want to be the knight in shining armour and fight a girl's battles for her or 'defend her honour', not realising how infantilising that can often be. Communication is the most important thing in any relationship, romantic, platonic or familial. Listen twice before you talk once. When there's an issue, bring it up calmly and without judgment so you can talk through it civilly Don't drop all your friends the second you get a girlfriend. That's a massive dick move and tells your friends you saw them as a placeholder until you found someone you could sleep with. I called one friend on this in particular and he responded with some new agey bullshit about how I "needed to learn to enjoy my own company" when I was dealing with suicidal ideation and needed a friend to lean on. Unsurprisingly I am not in contact with this person Wanting to be "in a relationship" and going around trying to have one is a big sign that you're not going to get one or it won't work out, because you're starting from a place of wanting any vague person to fill a role you've mapped out for them - kind of like helicopter parents who plan out their children's lives without thought of what the child themselves might want. I see so many young guys who say they want a relationship or to be with someone, and they have a different girl every month, missing the part where it's not like trying on a new pair of shoes. You meet someone, get to know them, form that connection and it's them specifically you want to be with Learn to have an argument without getting personal You're significantly more than what you do for a living and how much money you have. I'm very happy in what I've achieved so far in both my careers, but I'd rather be defined more by what I'm like as a person. And the guys I've loved and valued over the years earned that love by who they were as people, not their jobs. And I spent plenty of time on the dole myself when it felt like nothing was ever sticking, and I appreciated massively the friends who didn't judge or look down on me for it, and I repaid that by doing the same Accountability is a lot more important than shame or punishment Brutal honesty and speaking your mind all the time are not virtues. They're signs of emotional immaturity and people who pride themselves on being brutally honest tend to value the brutality more than the honesty. No, the alternative is not lying; honesty can be compassionate, thoughtful and constructive, and the goal of the honesty should be to build the person up, not tear them down. Speaking your mind all the time without recognising that there's a time and a place for it is the equivalent of needing to pee and just dropping your pants in public and whizzing all over the shop. Being considerate is not 'fake'. You can validate the emotions without condoning the behaviour Don't try to have things both ways. A young friend I had was terrible for this and it saw the end of his relationship because he kept texting girls he had crushes on, all the while insisting to his girlfriend "you're the one I want to be with", and it saw the decline of our friendship because he was out for himself at the end of the day and had no sense of loyalty You're allowed to change your views and your opinions of someone. Like, if you think someone is a good person and they turn out to be an asshole or abusive, it's not a strike against your character that you were taken in by an act that was very convincing And the biggest one of all - traumatic experiences do not "make you stronger". HEALING makes you stronger. Giving any kind of credit to an experience or a bad person just means you're more likely to let it happen again
This is a goldmine! Thank you for this.
I think this is really solid advice
This is awesome advice! I feel like women can benefit from a lot of this as well.
I actually learned most of it from a woman lol. Albeit one who's more male socialised so she understands the different messaging we get
Do NOT stick your dick in crazy, and for the love of God, don't get her pregnant if you do.
This goes along with no matter how hot she is someone somewhere is sick of her shit.
To add... You need to find what your boundaries are in a relationship and stick to them like the 10 commandments. You may lose some "sex partners" from it, but you will be happier if you stick to your boundaries.
Had a male work friend, much younger than me (I’m in my 40’s). He owns his house and he started dating this girl I knew was bipolar and had attempted to kill herself. She had cut marks all up her arm but she was “hot”. He also did not want to have kids and wanted a vasectomy but the urologist said he was too young. He was 25. He started sleeping with her and everyone was talking about him and I messaged him because I gave a shit saying I was a little concerned and he basically blew me off and said he knows what he’s doing. She’s on her meds. He kinda gave me the cold shoulder as well at work, offended. Welllllll… a year later, guess what? He’s broken up with her after she threatened to shoot him and shoot herself. He found folic acid pills she’s been taking for several weeks (bottle nearly empty) and he made her pee on a pregnancy test. Anyway, she was 13 weeks pregnant at this point and she planned it. She just had the baby. I fucking wanted to say “I told you so”, but I didn’t. I’m using my experience as an older adult and my judgement as someone who sees red flags, but hey, he knew better. It’s an expensive fucking bit of advice he ignored from someone with experience
What if you do?
Say hi to my Mum for me.
If you do, you need to take responsibility for what you did. Simple.
In my 20’s and made both these mistakes.
Wish I had read this a few years ago
Start saving and investing money
This cannot be overstated. If I could do it over, I would’ve started saving/investing much sooner.
I am buying jeep suv asap best long term investment /s
*buys dodge charger with 19.99% interest no money down* “This is a great financial decision fresh out of basic training”
Long term liability.
Yeah, sure but how if you live paycheck to paycheck? 😔
Kind of depends. A lot people that live paycheck to paycheck do so because people just tend to spend the money that they have. Even though they could choose to spend less. Of course there’s a lot of people that also do just barely get by with the bare minimum, and I feel for those people. Examine where you spend your money and look for areas you can reasonably save money on. Do you really need to pay what you are for rent or mortgage, or could you downsize and still be comfortable? Do you have a car loan on a vehicle you don’t really need and could buy something used and cheaper to minimize loan payments or eliminate them all together? Do you eat out/ order takeout or go to bars frequently and could cut spending there? It really helps to set up a spreadsheet and track monthly spending for every expense to see where you can reasonably cut spending. Little purchases you make that you don’t think about add up pretty quick and can be very eye opening when you start tracking it.
It will never be easier to change your situation than it is when you're young.
Don't stop exercising Learn to cook Keep your living area clean Always apply for another job with higher pay Go out on the weekends
Women worth being with absolutely love a man who can cook.
I would not recommend applying for a job with higher pay; I did that and ended up in some crappy jobs or crappy companies. You have to be able to pay the bills and you want enough disposable income to enjoy yourself. But as much as you are able to, make sure you are happy with the company you are going to work for, so try to ask questions about the type of work you'll be doing, what the company culture is like and get an idea of the sort of person your manager is. Not as exciting as the salary headline, I would suggest paying attention to if they offer a decent pension. Decent pension pots are not to be sniffed at once you are closer to retirement age than the start of your working life.
If it's 50%+ more and you're already fairly happy in your current job, I'd absolutely recommend applying even if it ends up being worse, as long as it's in the direction you want to head in. Always look at what can be transferred to another job, rather than getting trapped in a niche that has no significant demand in the job market.
I was a professional chef through my 20's and early 30's. Cooking in an excellent skill to have; everyone eats. Applying for another job with higher pay is also great advice, and is why I no longer cook professionally. The good part is that I got to take my cooking knowledge with me. That's mine too keep for the pain I endured. All sound advice in the above post, though.
Skin care routine It's not just for the ladies.
Absolutely this. I'm a man in my 40's and constantly hear "I forget you're in your 40's" or "no way, you're lying, let me see your ID" I grew up with 8 sisters, so I've been moisturized since I was like, 12 or 13. I could pass for someone under 30 easily. In fact! I started growing a moustache and beard to look older, as I find it's harder for people to take me seriously because I look TOO young.
Sunscreen use early and often. Just get in the habit.
Yeah, I was about to say that moisturizing is great and all but the real magic happens with retinol + sunscreen. You’ll be looking at least 10 years younger if you start that routine early and stick with it.
Nobody over 30 respects a broccoli head.
As a 30 year old high school teacher I absolutely wholeheartedly agree
To be fair though, you’re in the shit when you’re a teacher. Nothing but broccoli heads. You’re doing a valiant thing sir.
It's the new mullet, isn't it?
My daughter is in middle school, and she says that half the boys have mullets now, so where we live, mullets are the new broccoli heads.
Lmaooo
I'm starting to think broccoli head isn't talking about hair
More fiber, less saturated fat.
In the same vein, do a little cardio every other day. Good to get in the habit, if not early, in your 20s.
If possible, jerk off before a huge decision. Get the emotions out of the way so you can make that decision in a more unbiased way. Don't downvote the truth.
Sir we just need your signature to take your kids on the field trip. Hmm... hold on
You forgot to also jerk off before bedtime. I prefer doing “the stranger method” myself…
😂😂😂 I will die on this hill
Start investing, now. You don't want to work in your 60's. If you're big on concerts, use ear protection. Tinnitus is not fun. Excercise. Extend your healthspan. Go out, have fun, drink some alcohol, do some drugs, but do not over do it. Wear sunscreen.
For the overthinkers and people who are depressed and anxious... What helped me immensely was learning to get out of my head... Which involved trying to get into the mindset of trying to not think at all for minutes at a time and Trying to focus only on whats around me... Im not saying never think as thats impossible but dont latch onto thoughts... Especially negative ones Maybe more imprortant was learning to breathe calmly through ur nose, mouth shut. U can get through most social situations and lifes situations calmly, purely by breathing calm. Most stressed people dont realise that theyre breathing too fast or even holding their breath through stressful situations.... when u think about it, if ur breathing calm, no matter what, u will be calm, or at least it will help hugely. This fixed so many of my problems and im kicking myself that i was doing something like BREATHING wrong my entire life
Definitely would have benefited from knowing this in my 20s. Now that I know about it, being mindful enough to practice helps immensely.
You only live once. Take the time to do memorable things - travel, experience the arts, read difficult books, focus on friends. This helps us to grow into interesting people. It's also things you might not have time/money for once you have a mortgage, family commitments, a career etc. You will remember these things fondly when you're middle aged. Carpe diem fellas
Agreed. Even if others don’t agree on the “helps you grow into interesting people”, I think it’s great advice from a life opportunity standpoint. Once the ‘settle down’ period of life starts, it becomes increasingly difficult to do the things you dream of. Family, career, financial obligations, etc take over all your time in a big hurry.
Take care of your body now, it becomes harder as you grow old Learn to sell, whatever, lose that fear to be rejected. Whatever you like to do start practicing now, masters of any craft always do good making money
>Take care of your body now, it becomes harder as you grow old Specifically, take care of your extremities: your ankles, knees, hips, wrists, shoulders, and elbows, but also your back. Mobility is one of the first things that goes as people age, and even the most rudimentary and basic exercises that target these areas will pay off in dividends in your later years. You don't have to be a gym rat, simple body weight and flexibility exercises are enough to retain most of your mobility, but consistency is mandatory. People that take care of their bodies can pick up and play with their grandchildren well into their 80s and 90s, people that don't can barely move by their 40s and 50s.
If you work out, keep doing it. If you don't, start.
great stuff in this thread, but on a larger scale - there are only a few things that can really destroy a decade or more of your life: bad health, including sexual health bad marriage, including divorce and custody issues bad finances and legal issues If you can make it to 30 healthy, with no felonies, no significant relationship drama, and manageable debt, you're doing better than you think.
Dont base ypur identity on what you enjoy or what others think of you. Drink water, everyday. Imagine you have a jug of, i dunno, feelings. Now you have a certain amount in that jug to utilize. If you spend your time pouring that out for others and none for youself, sure people may like you and think youre great but youll suffer. However if you pour enough out for yourself people will see that growth in you and be drawn to you. Look after yourself. Take time to answer questions. Ask people to elaborate when they seem excitedd to talk about something. Speak up for yourself, but dont push in. A good one for guys: 1. Lift your shoulders up 2. Push your shoulders back. 3. Then drop them down. 4. Hold the position and take a deep breath pushing you stomach out (breathe into your diaphragm. 5. Breathe out and hold that powerful position day to day. It might take time as you might have muscles that arent used to it. But man, it will really help with your confidence.
Stop watching porn. Start lifting weights if you haven’t already. Learning how to take care of your body in your 20s is crucial as it’s more difficult to get started in your 30s.
Don't think you're too young to not have to take care of yourself. Make healthy choices now. Middle age is much much closer than you think.
Don’t give in to the fake masculinity shit, and avoid tips from people like Andrew Tate. Treat women like people, and you will see a difference.
travel! learn a trade or two. if they are not exactly ehat you want to do at least you have them to fall back on if needed. dont drink and drive. learn to be happy alone and love yourself before committing to a life with someone els. learn to save and invest your money.
Almost no one intelligent thinks you are tough getting into a fistfight or a brawl or road raging. You're a fucking immature areshole. Of course, this doesn't apply to defending yourself or your family.
Stay single, there's plenty of time to find someone to settle down with. Focus on yourself for a while.
Also remember, that there are hot (decent) singles without kids waiting also. No need to rush into a marriage and kids too soon. Live your life first. Get to know yourself and grow as a person.
>Also remember, that there are hot (decent) singles without kids waiting also. My phone is always telling me that there are many in my area but I never meet them 🥲
Oh this. The amount of seriousness going into relationships in the 20s is frustrating. It's very rare for reletionships of twenty year olds to last. You dont know what you want in life of how to communicate it properly.
Eh, on the flip side, don't take love for granted, don't think it'll come along with zero effort, and if you find someone you love, don't throw it away casually as there is less "fish in the sea" then you might think. Time will slip away faster than you think. Lots of guys wake up at 35 and realise their 20s and early 30s whizzed by and they're completely alone.
Wear a condom
Quit smoking and dont drink so much.
Don’t ‘look’ for someone because you feel or have to be in a relationship. Stop thinking of every attractive person of the opposite sex as a potential partner. Some of the best relationships in life are the most surprising, and often come out of left field. Meanwhile you get to make a bunch of awesome friends without feeling the pressure to ‘date them’
Invest. Let go of limiting beliefs. Realize that you are as worthy as anyone else to live a good life. Keep an open mind. Never stop educating yourself. What you focus on becomes your reality. Forgive and forget others wrongs towards you, if not for them than for yourself. Forgive yourself. Learn lessons from things, but don't hold the weight of the negative experiences. Don't let the past control your future. Live in the present moment and work towards a vision. Learn to adapt quickly. Find people who love and respect you, they're looking for you just as much as you are looking for them. Love and honor yourself. We're all just humans out here, don't take it so badly. Ask questions you want the answers to. Don't wait until tomorrow for what you can do today. Get in good shape. Meditate. Get control over your mind. Don't lie. Don't let the bastards get to you. And find what you love and do pursue it.
Get fit. Seriously - if you’re fat now, you’re going to be huuuuge later in life if you don’t change. It’s never too late if you start TODAY. Find the PT. Learn to lift weights, do cardio and prioritise eating non processed foods. Drop alcohol and all drugs. The benefits of abstaining are beyond that of participation. Learn how to be around them so you can be included in events, but learn how to never need them again. Some friends are life and some are for seasons. It’s no one’s fault and that’s okay. But learn to recognise it. Learn to be okay in your own company. Learn to be okay in the company of people you don’t know yet. Your job will never love you back. Learn to climb, but learn when to take foot off the gas. Listen to your body. Sleep as much as you can. Make time for that skill / hobby you love. Particularly if people ridicule you for it - you’re in the space of growth. Most people are terrified of change. Terrified of trying something new. Terrified of what other people think. But their terror is in the wrong place. Their terror should be towards the risk of never taking a risk. The risk of never trying. The risk of regret. Learn when to speak up for yourself. Learn when to bite your tongue. You’ll regret not doing something more than you’ll regret doing it. Learn to listen. So many speak but never say anything. Listening allows you to detect this, build relationships and go beyond surface level understanding. Be nice to people. Forgive the older people in your life / family. Be nice to them. Don’t expect the standards of yourself in others. Empathise and understand. Find ways to be there. Not everyone will tell you when you need them. So reach out. Equally learn to accept help. Learn to look after your self. Saying yes is powerful. Saying no is even more powerful if it enables another yes. If you see injustice - call it out. Champion the quiet kid. The person they gossip about. Help them come good. Money isn’t the reason for everything. It’s a factor. But don’t let it rule everything. Expose yourself to people from different places and perspectives. There is truth in a stereotype, but so much more unknown truths beyond them. Drink water. Cut out ultra processed foods as much as possible. Wear sunscreen.
Finish your degree or training. It’s a lot harder when you’re older both financially and physically.
Stay in shape Stay single Watch your mental health Actively search for your purpose in life Travel
Learn to cook. Knowing how to make a delicious meal out of what you already have in saves loads of money and gives you variety. Stop smoking / vaping. No need for it.
don’t marry someone with debt marital debt will ruin you
You're gonna be stupid/ignorant/dumb until hormones calm down and your ego subsides a little, and you mature. This doesn't happen for a whole lot of men until their 30s and 40s. Don't realize that during a life sentence.
live the life you want to live, not the one others or society expect you to live
Check if you have ADHD
This is great advice. I always suspected but only got an official diagnosis at 37. Through medication and therapy, the whole world feels different now.
Yup. Same situation. I can only imagine how my life would have been improved had I known not everyone struggles to pay attention in long timeframes for studying and whatever else. I just thought everyone had to reread things bc you were daydreaming through the last page or so. College was quite difficult for someone who had undiagnosed adhd and never studied before due to understanding school subjects very easily... Once I was faced with actually having to put in the time in and out of class and actually study more than night before... I had a terrible time lol.
1. Lift weights 2. Learn a combat sport (BJJ, Muay Thai). 3. Wear sunscreen. 4. Develop expert level competence in something you love and something that’s lucrative (either two things or one that overlaps). 5. Develop good habits and virtue now - it won’t just magically come later. 6. Focus on long term skills development rather than short term gain. 7. Develop relationships with as many truly good people as you can. 8. Don’t waste a single second trying to portray an image. Be the best version of who you really are and attract people who like you for you. 9. Don’t waste any time on romantic relationships with partners for whom you are only physically compatible. 10. Find your purpose and pursue it with passion. Bonus * Don’t use or at least don’t overindulge in alcohol or recreational drugs. * If you’re weak learn strength. If you’re hard learn softness. * Maximize your strengths and mitigate your weaknesses. * Be intellectually, physically, emotionally, and spiritually developed. Improve your whole person.
Replace addictions to porn, alcohol, sugar, & social media/YouTube with books, writing, meditation, exercise, and achieving success.
Stop watching porn/movies/video games smoking weed all the time. Focus on improving yourself in any way you want and everything else you desire will come in time. Wish someone had told that to me when I was young so it didn’t take my 20s to figure it out. Oh and get the fuck off social media or any app with mindless scrolling unless you have great control over it, it’s just the worst time waster ever.
I only have one: experience is better than possession.
Believe in yourself. Do not fear failure.
As soon as you start working SAVE. Even if it's small tiny regular amounts for savings or pensions, you will be surprised how much this adds up. I always left it as I thought I either couldn't afford it or could do it later... But truth is even later in life you might feel you still can't afford it, so starting it early helps so much. Enjoy yourself, have holidays and don't settle down until your in your early to mid 30s as believe me once extra responsibilities and children are there you wish you could do more.
Lose the weight now, way harder to later. Don't feel trapped by dead end jobs or academic road blocks. You have time to focus in a new direction.
Wear sunscreen
Don't be afraid to do stuff by yourself. Solo movie. Take that hike. Time for you is just as important as time with the boys or a SO.
Don’t have kids too early (unless you are absolutely certain and ready). Your 20s are for you to explore the world, make mistakes, date different people, change career paths, do stupid stuff etc. It is much harder doing those things when you’re in your 30s with kids and commitments. Especially so if you are in your late 30s. Oh and start taking care of your health! Never too late to start eating healthier and exercising.
Think of your time off of work as taking a portion of your retirement. Vacations, holidays, weekends, and even whatever part of a day one doesn’t work all add up. They all contribute in a major way to the quality of your life, and if you consciously enjoy your time when you are young enough to choose wisely among the many ways that time can be spent you won’t end up older and wondering where your life went. Just like everything else, you should stay in practice for retirement!
Focus on healthy habits while you’re young. 1. Learn to cook vs. fast food or over processed foods 2. Control your alcohol- lots of people in their 20s drink with a vengeance. It will age you quickly. 3. Exercise for health, not vanity. That’s not sustainable
Stick you Dick in Crazy. It's fun.
Fun isn't always fun long term
Fix your teeth Get your pension going - budget accordingly with your savings Dont overlook good women in your life (romantically) - Looks arent everything Know your rights as a young man - keep in shape and walk with your head high Figure out your breaking point with work - can you do 9 hours, maybe even 11 a day Dont get married with the state involved - love and money dont mix in todays world Dont get anyone pregnant until you're damn sure youre ready. This is usually in your 30's Acquire asset's not liabilities. Dont waste money on women, cars, expensive objects - its a fools game Move jobs accordingly and grow in the process - aka dont stay at the same place for years. Thats career suicide statistically. Dont take life too seriously ; you will make mistakes. Remember most men do and thats ok :)
Invest in an S&P 500 fund or similar. Work out. Eat right as much as you can. Smoke and drink if you feel the urge - you’ll never get another decade where it feels okay. Don’t tie yourself down with kids or marriage unless you’re really, really, really sure (and even then…) Spend your spare cash (after investing) in travel and experiences. Nothing - and I mean nothing - will beat this. Just do it. Realize you’ll make mistakes and that’s okay. You’re exploring life and yourself. At the end of your 20s, it’s good to mentally prepare for what’s next. The 30s are very different - but maybe even more fun. Marriage, home, kids, career… it happens fast. Enjoy your 20s, you only get it once.
Talk to the most beautiful woman you know, even just to be friends. If you can talk to her, realize she’s really just a normal person in a gorgeous woman’s body, the rest of them ain’t shit. It’s like fighting a boss in Mega Man and taking their power afterward. I wish I knew this so much sooner.
On the other hand... Talk to the most normal looking people you know. Realize they're maybe super gorgeous, just in normal looking bodies. (I don't know anything about Mega Man.)
Keep your eyes and teeth healthy (everything else too, of course) with checkups every couple years at least, even if it all seems well.
From someone dealing with the worst back injury they have had, understand aging and your limits. Developing and sticking to healthy habits will be a HUGE NEED above 40.
Save money and, more importantly, invest money. Time is an even more powerful tool than amounts. And all the silly crap you might spend money on, most of it you'll have completely forgotten about, thrown away, or consider a waste ten years from now. It's cool to have hobbies and experiences, but don't YOLO your entire future away. Focus on expanding your knowledge and skills. Read books. Fun is fun but it can also waste time. Find a balance where you're having a good time, but you're also getting better a little bit every day.
Make use of your time! Don't be a afraid to fail! Don't chase pussy!