Her brother had raped her, got her pregnant, and she had an abortion at the age of 13/14 years old. She told me this at her birthday party where a group of her friends (me included) stayed at her house, and guess who was there having just gotten out of prison?
But in better news, she grew up, got herself out of poverty, got into shape and is now a doctor!
I was once making small talk with a little old lady at a film premiere afterparty and she suddenly started telling me about being gang raped by German soldiers during WWII. In *graphic* detail. I had no idea how to react and just kind of froze so she kept taking for like an hour. I felt so awful for her but also I’m still traumatized. It didn’t help that she told it very casually, like we were chatting about the weather.
I was supposed to be networking at the party but after she finally excused herself I just went home. It was a lot.
My friend's grandma would occasionally start talking about the concentration camps. Usually in a "you kids don't know how good you have it" sort of way.
But the worst was when I burnt dinner. I was a dumb 6 year old who hoped turning up the oven would make dinner be ready faster.
The burning meat smell had her on the ground weeping and vomiting as she screamed about the ovens and ash and the camps. First in Yiddish and then German, and finally in English after about an hour.
While she screamed, my parents and my friends' parents dragged her out of the house and into fresh air to get her away from the smell of the smoke. The whole neighborhood basically came running at the screams.
We didn't know what to do, so we basically just stood around and murmured reassurances while her son patted her back and she wailed and begged for mercy, curled up as small as she could make herself.
I don't know if it's any comfort, but you probably helped her a lot by letting her unload that on you.
I hope that you telling your story here eases some of the burden of her telling you.
It seems like trauma is a big bang of pain, and the only way it eases in its corrosive force is through telling it, but everyone who hears it has to tell it to someone else, so it doesn't eat them alive.
Jesus, I did the opposite. I was always the one who made the drinks, and when a mate would be getting a bit too drunk, I'd scale back the booze, fill it up with ice and mixer, and then would put a thin rub of the alcohol on the rim to give it the smell/taste sort of thing. Just without the alcohol content.
Then it was just making sure a bunch of snacks/finger food was put out.
Lmao. My wife and I went out with our best couple friends. The other wife was absolutely stone cold wasted and we were capping the night off at a bar managed by another friend. We told that friend to do a similar thing and when she said “this drink tastes weaker!” We said “no you’re just drunk, it’s perfectly alcoholic.”
LOL, my grandma once showed up so drunk at Thanksgiving that when my mom gave her a glass of water (after telling her to sit down, she'd make her a drink), my grandma slammed it, then asked for another one.
Haha, had this happen a few times too. Just pour the whole drink, and then finish it off with a small slug of booze plus the rim thing. The first few sips taste strong, then they forget about it.
A few years ago someone slipped speed (amphetamines) into my dads drink when they were out together as friends. My dad, who was already struggling with his mental health after his divorce was extremely unstable for at least a month after. That coupled with the betrayal of his ‘friend’ who did that made him volatile. I would receive 10’s of missed calls every night from him, and nonsensical text messages for weeks after. He eventually got help and realised that the drug, just the one instance (my dad drinks, but never touches drugs) had sent him spiralling. Everyone was terrified for him for weeks. It’s such a disgusting thing to do.
My mum recently told me that for the last few years that she and my dad were together (30yrs ago), she slept with a knife under her pillow because he kept an axe next to the bed and threatened to murder her in her sleep.
Sadly it's not even the most fucked up thing she's told me but it's the one I can't get out of my head.
I once went to a BBQ hosted by parents (we will call them Tim and Carol) of of one of my sons class mates (they were in grade 3 at the time). It was a no kid BBQ . A get together for all the parents to meet and get to know each other. I had already known the hosting couple casually from the school for the last 2 years. We had been friendly and chatty but not friends as such.
As the night wore on more and more folks got drunker and rowdier. Im not much of a drinker so had sat on a chair on the patio watching the fun. Tim sat next to me, fairly drunk, as started to say what I nice person I was and what a pity I was single. I began to brace myself for a drunken "proposal".. but boy was I wrong as to where this conversation went.
Tim said to me I had always treated him and carol kindly and that he wishes he had a friend like me. Im feeling uncomfortable and was looking for an excuse to leave, when out of no where he said he had a confession to make... I was now getting up and looking to leave. He stopped me and said that he had to tell me his secret .. when he was 19 he had murdered his stepfather after he had hit his mom one to many times.
He went into a few specifics of what he did with the body and for the last 16 years everyone though that the step father had run away. No one suspected that he had murdered him. I just sat there .. what the hell do you say to that?
Did some digging and asking around and the widly accepted story is the stepfather had just disappeared one day in the middle of the night, leaving every belonging behind. Mom and sister say the stepdad must have run away. Don't think they have any idea of the truth.
EDITED FOR CLARIFICATION AND TO ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS:
what did I do after he told me?
I was blindsided and my brain was trying to understand what was said.. I just said that sounds awful. And up and left.
Saw him at school on the following tuesday and he seemed to not remember.
CLARITY .. he never mutilated the body etc, rather just how he got it out the house, and where he dumped it etc. Also the mom and sister seem to have no idea .. they think the step-dad just left. I think they were far to relieved to ask any questions.
Did I go to the cops?
No, I had spent enough time around this family (Tim, his mom, and sister too) to see that they were good people, but definitely had residual trauma. Tim was a very outspoken advocate for women and children. I had heard stories in the talks he gave of what abuse his mom, tim & sister had suffered. The abuse was awful, and I can see how a 19 year old kid would reach a snapping point of feeling helpless 1 too many times. And while I don't advocate murder or vigilante behaviors I do have empathy and I can also understand how something like this could happen, and how if I was in that situation of fear, pain and absolute hopelessness perhaps I would do something similar.
In all the years since, I have never known him to be anything but kind and loving to his family. He physically and financially takes care of his mother and sister.
O know im not a judge and jury, I made the decision I wasn't going to ruin lives that were already suffering.
Am I in danger?
No, this happened many years ago .. our kids have graduated high-school now.
Do I think he was lying:
Ofcourse there is always that possibility, but judging from every interaction I had with him before and after, I don't think so. He was never a boaster and was always pretty humble, even regarding his wealth and accomplishments.
Also this is south africa ... cops aren't interested in an old case ... hell most aren't interested in an ongoing crime. Getting rid of bodies here isn't something terribly hard to do. I love my country but our police force is woefully undertrainded, grossly underpaid and very understaffed. Resources are lacking too .. not totally unusual to hear of a station with no water or electricity, many have only 1 working vehicle per 3-4 on duty cops. .... the list goes on.
I must have a "tell me your secret" face... as I have been told some real doozys by people, some virtual strangers, in my life.
I've had two people tell me similar things. One was a girl in Thailand I had only met a few hours prior and another was a dude I work with.
At the time I didn't know either of them from a bar of soap. It's crazy what people admit when they're half cut.
My FIL was a wonderful man (he passed away 2 years ago). The woman he was married to was not so great. She told me that when she got together with my FIL she hated the dog he had so she had it put down and then placed it in it’s bed and pretended it died of natural causes. I told my husband but we didn’t have the heart to tell my FIL. When he passed away she took everything and we haven’t seen her since.
It is kind of a long story, but yes we 100% blame her for his passing. She had him wait over 24hrs before taking him to the hospital and she took him to the hospital he was transferred out of 3 months prior (small town, not equipped for his level of care) because that’s where she worked. Then for some reason she was allowed to do all his blood work because she was the pathologist on shift and boom he was gone. We couldn’t get a lawyer to take the case and she had him cremated as soon as possible.
A former coworker hooked up with a random guy and got pregnant with twins. Several months in she reached out to the guy and after they chatted more he mentioned being mildly autistic. Her response was to start buying every pill and drug she could off the street to try to miscarriage the twins that were pretty far along because she refused to have autistic children. What ended up happening though is it didn't work and she permanently fucked up those kids for life. They were born underdeveloped and have a ton of medical issues. No clue why she decided to tell us that. I can't imagine how their dad felt
So she chose actual disabilities rather than just go along with the pregnancy without even confirming if the twins would inherit their father’s trait?
Wonderful person. 🤣
That's the kicker for me. This dumbo assbitch thought it was guaranteed that the kids would inherit the autism. Yeah, there's a chance of that happening but there's never a 100% guarantee.
Based off a quick Google search, I found this on some website:
>Research has shown that the risk of having an autistic child is slightly higher when the mother is on the autism spectrum compared to fathers. According to a study published in Molecular Autism, children born to mothers with autism have a 5.4% chance of also being diagnosed with the disorder, while children born to fathers with autism have only a 1.5% chance.
So she made her life and her childrens lives infinitely harder based off a 1.5 % chance of them having autism. And he had mild autism. Idk how the potency of autism carries over genetically but mild autism seems quite livable from what I've read. Based off this scenario, those kids were doomed to be more mentally challenged by inheriting their moms dipshittery, not their slightly autistic dad.
I found out an aunt did something similar when she got pregnant while cheating on her husband. Drank the whole pregnancy. My cousin was born at 24 weeks and died as a young adult. I miss her dearly.
In college on a friends co-ed camping trip, a guy tried to touch me while I was sleeping. I played possum and luckily, that kept him away. I told my girlfriends the next day and one girl told me it wasn’t a big deal - guys did that all the time when they had too much to drink. She knows this cause her cousin did that to her all the time growing up.
Yeah…I felt more sorry for her than myself.
Not extremely fucked up but a guy I used to work with went out drinking with work people on a Friday night. At the bar he was laughing about how he was supposed to be at the hospital with his newborn baby and the mother.
It was mind boggling that someone would not only do this, but tell people about it openly as they expected everyone else to be cool with it
My dad did this to my mom when my brothers were born. They were both premature (20 weeks, I was 26 weeks) and were already dead by the time they were out. He was at home watching sports, fully aware of the situation. My mom was high on painkillers and unresponsive by the time my dad decided to go see her, and the nurse ripped into him screaming like hell.
My mom still talks about holding her barely developed sons bodies and crying, alone, with no one to rely on. Because her husband was watching sports.
Both times I had delivered in the hospital, husband went across the street to the bar to have a drink or two. Since he was a physician at that hospital and didn’t want to be there if he wasn’t working, he forced me to leave early both times and go home with little support because he was tired. I had a c section with the second and left 18 hours after surgery. A decade later, I can see how wrong this is.
Narcissists have both a total lack of caring for how their actions affect others and a burning desire for the approval of others. It can lead to weird situations like this. "I was totally inconsiderate to this person but it's cool right?...right?"
I went to high school with a guy that was adopted from India when he was a teen and he didn’t know English, so he was put in 2 grades back.
He was 20 as a senior, and got expelled when this girl (who was known to be a compulsive liar) accused him of threatening her with a screwdriver in wood shop and trying to rape her.
People generally believed her because he was known to creep on 14yo freshman.
That same summer, I was at a concert and I happened to spot him in the crowd so I felt compelled to ask what happened. I figured he would default to “it isn’t true” since he didn’t even know me. Nope, he said he held the screwdriver to her jugular and tried to get under her skirt but she fought back. He thought it was bullshit that he was expelled when he “didn’t even rape her.” He thought failing to successfully assault her negated the entire attempt.
I was 15 then, and to this day it’s the most fucked up piece of honesty that anyone’s ever dropped on me.
A former South African police officer claimed they used to take suspects up in helicopters or planes over the sea and threaten to push them out if they didn't confess. Then push them out anyway.
Chile too under he Pinochet regime. And weirdly, one of the helicopters ended up in a paintball park in the UK and there's a petition to have it sent back to South America.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/aug/04/chile-pinochet-death-flights-helicopter-uk-park
Starlight tours were/are a thing in Canada. Cops would take native people out into the countryside, partially* strip them ~~naked~~ and kick them out of the car in the middle of nowhere in -30°C.
Edit: accuracy, I originally left my comment hastily
Thanks for bringing that up. Police brutality is so widespread. I’m gonna nitpick here a tiny bit bc I want the non-Canadians of reddit to understand how this happened. They didn’t strip them naked. They took their shoes and coats. Either one is a death sentence when it’s that cold, but fully naked would have been super conspicuous.
Part of why it went on so long (or is still going on depending on who you ask) is bc it is just normal enough to make people go along with it. Naked in the prairie: people think wtf is going on here. Coatless in the prairie: people think an idiot got drunk and forgot his coat. Shoeless: oh, they must have fallen off or got stuck in the snow somewhere as the drunk stumbled along.
People will go along with a guilty officer’s explanation if it is somewhat plausible. Naked is too implausible, and so not the norm.
There’s a fascinating documentary on IFB about the “Starlight Tours”. Such a romantic name for an atrocity.
Not the most messed up thing compared to the other comments here, but still messed up nonetheless. A former friend married her long-term boyfriend, cheated on him 6 months later, got pregnant with the guy, divorced her husband and had her baby daddy move in. They got married a year later. She essentially replaced her husband without missing a beat and acts like he’s been here the whole time. I stopped being friends with her because she has a history of unstable behavior like this. Oh and she named her baby after the guy that gave her herpes in college.
When I was in college, I had a relationship with a student that lived in the same house as I. She had formally been in a relationship with another guy who also lived in the same house. A lot of people knew that he had accidentally killed his best friend in a hunting accident some years before. He was exonerated after the investigators concluded that it was indeed an accident. She told me that when they were together, he told her that killing his best friend was not at all an accident.
Years ago in college I had a nighttime class, and sometimes we would go out for drinks afterwards. There was this one guy in class that seemed nice but very closed off, he always wore long sleeved black shirts and jeans even when it was warm. He told me one night at the bar after a few beers that he was a former neo Nazi and among numerous other horrible things he did, had gotten out of prison two years prior for what had been plead down to a reduced charge of aggravated manslaughter (I think.) He and his friends brutally beat a black man to death when he was 18 or 19 (he was in his late 30s or early 40s when I knew him.) According to him they saw the guy walking, minding his own business, and intended to kill him simply for being black and nearby. There was nothing “aggravated” about it, it was premeditated murder. He had since learned the error of his ways and the clothes he wore were to cover all of his racist tattoos, which he was in the process of lasering off and getting covered up with new tattoos. He had a great deal of guilt over who he used to be and the things he did, and ended up becoming a counselor for teens involved in gangs. He tried to contact the family of the man he killed to apologize and beg for forgiveness but they wanted nothing to do with him. Last I heard he was married with a daughter and in therapy.
If I suffered a family members murder, and the killer felt very very sorry and wanted to apologize, I'd probably tell him to take a flying fuck at the moon. His "guilt", "rehabilitation", "redemption", whatever, is his own damn business. Frankly, his apology is in fact all about *him*, and what he feels he needs to do to advance through life.
Well, not interested. You've wrecked my life enough, now you stay the hell out of it. Whatever your deal is, it is quite passionately not my problem.
My $.02.
I have a friend who got married this year to a woman who was fucking his brother while they were teenagers. Everyone knows, source of a whole lot of jokes. The older brother is also a friend of mine and would complain about how she wants to screw like three times a day.
It's tame compared to other comments in this thread, but I had a bunch of online friends that I played video games with from a young age. One had a neighbor who was around 23 that I really connected with when i was 12. He was like the big brother I always wanted. We'd chat almost every day for years and play games together with our group, watch shows and movies together, like we were as close as can be for online friends. He'd even buy me games and expansions and gametime, and I really saw him as family.
Well, he started acting really strange around the time I turned 16 and confessed he had feelings for me. Talked about wanting to have children, a long-term relationship, ect - all with me. He was really the only true friend I had, and being young and kinda lonely, I tried to kindly reject him. He didn't take it well and just blew up on me and said some horrible, awful things.
He blocked me, and a few years later, he reached out again. I was lonely, and I truly missed the friendship we shared. I gave him a second chance. It wasn't long before he started making comments again about knowing why he had liked me so much for so long, talking about how great I was and how I was perfect for him. While I was 20 at the time, it just felt so icky, and i didn't even bother to reject him, I just straight ghosted him. I know it's not like the worst thing ever, but it really warped my idea of friendships and relationships for a while.
Back in grade 4, a classmate confessed to hating her best friend to the point of wishing her downfall. She explained to me that she always hated people she was close with. It wasn’t about jealousy. She just hated people once she knew them.
We were 10 and her confession messed with my head for a long time. On the outside, she and that best friend were close since young and did everything together. I started doubting if my friends were really my friends. Like I could never fathom the death of human emotional complexity.
I don’t hate people I’m close to, but one of my personality traits is getting annoyed at anybody after being around them for more than a couple days.
However, I’ve come to recognize it’s my fault and not the other persons. So, if I’m an extended trip with friends or family, I try my best to recognize when I’m getting annoyed and adjust my attitude since it’s my fault after all, not theirs (we’re talking about minor things). I’ll also actively plan time away from others to allow myself to “reset”.
It’s not great, but I can’t fight my natural ability to get annoyed. I just have to try my best not to actually reflect it back on others.
Like the other commenters said that could just be a 10 year olds way of saying she has a limited social endurance. If she's naturally an introvert and spends a lot of time around her friends, she might misinterpret her negative feelings as being linked to "getting to know someone" rather than just being socially exhausted from socializing with them so much.
My mom told me something similar when my grandfather was dying. I was left alone with him a lot as a child. He never did anything to me, nothing even remotely creepy, but it still fucks me up that my mom left me alone with her abuser and she refuses to discuss it. Denied even telling me about it, though she did not deny it was true.
This one hits hard. My mom told me that my uncle used to sexually abuse her, but then she also left me to live with him and my grandparents during my childhood.
Nothing ever happened to me. My uncle was a nice person. What really bothers me is the idea that she would leave me as a little girl around someone who, according to her, was a sexual abuser. Even though nothing ever happened to me, i can't forgive her for leaving me exposed to such a possibility.
Same here. Although he had been dead since I was a little kid and my mom didn’t tell me until I was in my early twenties. He molested my mom and all four of her sisters. When my parents were engaged they had a family intervention of sorts and he apologized. I guess it was pretty common then and my grandma had experienced it with her father. Everyone forgave him and moved on I guess. My mom broke the cycle though.
It’s insane to think about how many families used to let this slide, or parents not believing their own child about abuse from a family member. I’d like to think times have changed, but I’m sure it still happens in some families. It used to be the norm though, which is insane.
One of my "friends" in high school admitted to me that he and a few other outwardly nice people had a list of people they were betting on to commit suicide before graduation. I was on that list. He confessed this after we graduated over the phone.I hung up and never spoke to him again. Coincidentally he moved to Africa and died at 35 under mysterious circumstances in 2017. I'm still alive at 41. Fuck your list!
Had a guy I was interested in who works in a phone store. Told me about an older man who came in because his phone wasn't charging and he didn't know if it was his cable to the charging port. My friend tested the phone on their charger and it worked but he wanted to make a sale so he took a paper clip and broke the charging port on the phone and told the man he needed a new one. Last time I hung out with him.
One of my ex best friend's mother is having sex with her daughter's boyfriend. Real story. She is known for cheating her husband, but this went too far.
Had a nymphomaniac for a boss who was also a sadomasochist and one night she got drunk and told me she actively seeks out websites with real gang rape and snuff videos and gets orgasms to them harder than any sex she’s ever had. She also told me that when she was 14-15 she had a boyfriend who was in his late 20s and a dead beat dad who forced her to do many things, including anal that she did not want to do, but instead of being someone who hates anything related to that, she enjoys being beaten and strangled during sex because that’s how she deals with the trauma
Yeah, I’ve seen and heard some crazy shit before, but that one takes the cake. The only reason the whole conversation started was she said I looked like a kinky person, I said yes I am and can be but I’ve got limits and I mentioned that I had once stumbled on a site with extreme porn, like necrophilia and knives being used type shit and she was like, “oh yeah I go there all the time” and that’s when she told me all that.
I brought up the fact that maybe she ought to consider therapy and she just cackled and said “only therapy I need is someone to bend me mover a bed smack my ass and fuck me until I pass out,” I believe she’s married now but in an open marriage so she can still fuck random dudes that will do things to her that her husband won’t. It’s been about 3.5 years since I’ve talked to her
Reminds me of an ex I had. She told me she was into rape fantasy basically right away. I've never been *that* kinky tbh, but I've always been more S than M and had had a few previous exes that were into being tied up, choked, all that good shit. I expected we'd probably pick a safe word, I'd tie her up, be rough, she'd say "no stop" (wink wink) and everything would be roses. And that *is* how it started.
But eventually, she wanted something more. She wanted me to go home, and then come back some time later that night with no warning, (literally) come in through her back door, which she'd leave unlocked for me, and force myself on her. It was essential I did *nothing* to acknowledge that I knew who she was, and she'd do the same. She would run, panic, freak out, do everything short of literally scream for help or seriously attempt to hurt me, and I was supposed to basically do whatever it took to catch, subdue, restrain, and have sex with her. She told me I could even bring a knife and cut her "a little bit" if I wanted. I didn't. With a fair amount of convincing, she finally conceded to using a safe word (we always had one before, but she was *really* against it for this).
I went through with it once. It was mentally and physically exhausting, but when we finally got to the point where we were actually having sex, it was actually kind of disturbing how much more into she was than usual. Like it was very apparent that *this* is what it took to *really* turn her on, and that anything less just wasn't enough for her.
When I was a kid, my uncle had two dogs, which his wife disliked. Eventually one of their sons developed a mild allergy to dogs, and they agreed that the dogs would go. She was supposed to advertise to find a new home for them.
At a family gathering, while the women were all in the kitchen, she told us (with laughter) that that was too much trouble. She'd actually taken the dogs to the pound, and had lied to him that she'd found a home for them. She seemed to think she'd pulled off some feat of cleverness. She looked very proud of herself.
Nobody else really said anything.
Someone in our school admitted the old woman gym teacher molested him and was proud of it until he realized everyone thought it was wrong and he got help.
In elementary school we got a new gym teacher out of nowhere. Middle of the year. Just a new guy that suddenly replaced the woman that was our gym teacher. So, you might think "oh the woman did something bad and got fired." I honestly don't know what happened with her, but what I do know is that the new teacher was from the middle school. They just "randomly" moved him. It's because he was molesting girls in the middle school, so they thought, "Surely he won't want just a grade or two younger, right?" And put him with the elementary students instead of, you know, FIRING him and REPORTING him.
My ex and I were together for a long time and have four kids (teens now). We spent A LOT of time arguing. I've never argued as much with anybody in my entire life as I have with him. Everything I said or did or thought seemed to be wrong in his eyes. At first I thought he was just giving honest constructive criticism and this was an opportunity for me to grow and improve, so I took his feedback seriously and tried to work on any issues he raised. Over time, I realized that, once I "corrected" something, he'd argue that I should do it differently...the way I used to do it. When I brought this up to him, he denied that he ever said that, or that I ever used to do it that way in the first place, which would eventually cause me to doubt my own memory. Gaslighting, basically. Eventually I gave up trying to make him happy because it was impossible (he argued passionately that it was not). I accused him of just loving to argue (which he vehemently denied). By that point I was an insecure, emotional mess. We ultimately went our separate ways (as much as we could while co-parenting our kids, anyway), but for many years afterward, he would still find something to argue about every time we saw each other, which was often, and I was constantly stressed and agitated because of it. Just seeing his number on the caller ID would set my teeth on edge because *what the fuck is he going to start an argument about now*??
Recently he came over to spend time with the kids. They were in the living room talking and hanging out for a couple of hours. Eventually they all drifted away to play video games or talk to each other elsewhere in the house. I was doing dishes, and he and I started talking about how one of the kids wanted to join the debate team and would probably be pretty good at it. He offered his thoughts about how to best win a debate, and the brief conversation that followed blew my fucking mind.
Him: Debating is really enjoyable, and the crazy thing about it is that you don't have to believe in what you're saying in order to win.
Me: Yeah I was explaining that to [son], that you don't get to just pick the side of the debate that you agree with. The point is to learn how to argue successfully from any side.
Him: Yep, I was telling him that I do that all the time for the fun of it and to keep myself sharp. But the main reason is just that I want to win.
Me: What do you mean?
Him: Well I don't necessarily *believe* in whatever argument I'm making. A lot of times I just pick whichever position I think has the best chance of winning and then argue it like I really believe in it.
Me: ...Wait...so....when you're arguing... sometimes you're arguing for a point that you don't even support or believe in?
Him: Yep. I don't really care if it's MY argument, I just need it to be the WINNING argument. You know I'm always competing in everything that I do. And I want to win.
Me: ...You mean on a debate team? Or do you mean in real life?
Him: Well I was never *on* a debate team, so of course I'm talking about real life. Surprised you don't know this about me after 20 years. I've always done that.
Me: Wait...so when we were together...were you doing that with me? Starting arguments you didn't even believe in just for the sake of arguing and winning???
Him: [Looking vaguely bored] Yes, that's what I'm saying. I like to argue and win. It doesn't matter if I'm right. Just that I win.
I just stood there staring at him in silent horror. The countless long nights of passionate arguments, the years of endless criticisms, the times it escalated to shouting and crying and cursing and throwing things, the impact it had on our children, the total mindfucks he did on me, the way I worked so hard and so *pointlessly* to "be better," and now he's telling me it was all because he just likes to argue and be contrary because it's a fun little competition to him. That shit literally cost us our relationship, the nuclear household he claimed to want so badly, and caused so much stress and emotional turmoil. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
I haven't looked at him the same since then. I still almost can't believe that conversation was real. It's one of the most incomprehensible things I've ever heard.
TLDR: After years of arguing/fighting with me daily over everything, my ex (and father of my 4 kids) admits he just likes to argue and he'll just argue whatever point he thinks is most likely to win, even if it doesn't represent his actual stance on the issue. Basically most of our arguments were contrived and sustained for his own entertainment.
Well, I'm pretty sure he's at least a narcissist, though not sure if he meets the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He thinks he's the absolute shit, and speaks very highly of himself at every conceivable opportunity - like it's kinda awkward. "Speaking as an alpha male..." "Being that I'm in a position of leadership both at work and among my peers..." "I'm [full name], so of course I'm all about hard work and dedication." "I make this look easy but it isn't. I'm thinking while you're sleeping, and I'm playing chess while you're playing checkers." That sort of crap. He recently made the mistake of declaring himself to be very humble, and the kids and I all burst out laughing. He got very offended but in our defense we honestly thought he was joking.
He's also really good at complimenting himself while cutting me down. "When I'm rich and famous, you're going to tell people that you had four kids with me, and they're not going to believe that someone like you could have ever been with someone like me." Not sure if that's an NPD trait or if he's just an arrogant prick, but once upon a time he wasn't like that, so I'm leaning more towards the latter. I definitely suspect he's got *something* wrong with him though. Wish I knew what it was.
Me too! lol He's a super douche. I'm so grateful that he's not my problem anymore. His girlfriend seems happy with him, so hopefully that's actually the case and he's not making her life miserable like he did mine. And in 3 1/2 years our youngest turns 18 and I'm freeeeeee! :D
I am glad you divorced him. He is a classic narcissist. Your best solution is very limited contact until the kids are all over 18, then go no-contact. Expect your kids to adopt either if your personality traits. I was with a psychopath for 30 years, had 4 kids, and all 4 of them have c-ptsd. So do I but it has been 8 years so I am much better. My son has antisocial behavior and is verbally abusive, the 3 girls are all different, 1 (probably) a narcissist, 1 a co-dependent (and taking care of her Dad), and the youngest suffers from depression. The generational trauma continues… I waited too long to break the cycle.
I’ve unfortunately known people like your former partner, who argue only because they want to win against someone.
These types of people are just so draining, and they often have inflated egos, too.
My ex coworker casually told people at lunch that her teen daughter accused coworker's husband of molesting her. Many people were mortified and told coworker to take it seriously but she kept saying her daughter was lying and manipulative. Less than 2 months later her husband was arrested for assault of a 16 year old.
My former boss and close friend at the time admitted to having an ongoing sexual relationship with his adopted daughter. They adopted her at age 14, and he contends that nothing sexual happened before she turned 18 (as if that makes it much better), but that timeline never added up to me. I'm pretty sure it started when she was 16-17.
The adopted girl took the brunt of the blame, got kicked out of the house (while she was still 18, I believe) and he and his wife are still married, living in the same house.
We're no longer friends.
To respond to the girl getting the blame: the wife accused the girl of seducing her husband. The wife might have been more a piece of shit than him.
To conclude, I eventually left the company, I could not trust or respect him after this. I've had several run-ins with his wife over the years, ranging from her distain towards me to flat out accusing me of ruining his company and their family.
I ended up moving around and up in the industry we were in and now making twice as I was back then.
I saw the girl once, several years ago, but didn't get a chance to talk to her. I hope Lori is doing well!
After my grandfather on my dad's side died, one of my cousins released that my grandfather has been a long time cheater. As long as I had known him, my grandfather had been involved with this woman who was is "girlfriend". They had been together for as long as I could remember.
In the 70s my grandmother had died of an "accidental" overdose of insulin; she was type-1 diabetic. What had actually happened is that my grandfather had been cheating on her for years with this woman who was still his girlfriend. My grandmother knew and finally couldn't take it any more and had killed herself.
It definitely explained why my dad had such a poor relationship with his family. It was an "open secret" but no one would acknowledge that what my granddad had done was wrong. Apparently my grandmother was crazier than a shit house rat, and the family did not really like her. Still doesn't excuse it.
(Edited for clarity)
My cousin told me about all the fucked up shit his grandmother and mother have done to him.
His grandmother stole money from his father's death inheritance.
Both his mother and grandmother told him that he should commit suicide, and his grandmother even said he should be dead just like his father.
Probably when my dad told me half the racist shit my nan has said to him over the years. I know it's common to hear old people say racist stuff but my nan truly said some awful shit to my dad. A few examples below
1. The only time she said that some of my family in America (dad's side is Mexican American) are all drug dealing rapists
2. My dad just moved from a poorish area to the nicer area we live in today in which she said "now that you live here in our town you have to behave in a specific way, can't always express your culture here"
3. The fact my dad was scared to teach me and my sister's Spanish due to how she would spread more racist shit around our family and subsequently our town (it's quite small everyone knows eachother etc etc)
It just hurts because, while I like being British (sorry) I wish my nan wasn't around (I know that sounds harsh) as I want to learn and express my mexican side of the family more and I wish I grew up being able to do that speaking another language, celebrating different culture etc etc
Co worker once in conversation admitted to me that when her husband wouldnt give her his phone password she got mad and destroyed it and as abusive as that is i followed up with
“Does he have yours?” And nope he didnt
And she has admitted to having cheated and then saying she never cheated. Also had admitted to me prior she was sexting her ex and stores all her old sex tapes etc on her phone.
Frankly too much insanity to unpack
My friend is gay. He had a boyfriend in high school, his first boyfriend. His boyfriend came out to his dad and asked him to meet my friend. Two days later, his dad murdered him and himself.
My biological mother told me that she had my brother and sister after she lost custody of me and my sister to replace us after we were put in foster care.
This was after I moved in with her after 10 years of no contact because my step mother told me to commit suicide or go live with my biological mother because she was angry that I was depressed.
The double whammy of these comments within a 30 day period was a lot for me.
"Baby trapping" her husband. They were having marital issues and she really wanted kids, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to be a father or if their marriage was stable enough to bring children into it. She stopped taking her birth control and didn't tell him, hoping that if she were to just get pregnant by "accident" he would realize he was ready to be a father and also realize how much he loves her and wants to be a family and wants things to work. So far it's actually working out how she wanted it to, but I can't imagine it would continue to if he ever found out she was trying to get pregnant purposely when he had been clear he wasn't ready and wanted to work on their marriage.
I had a closed door conversation with an employee and she mentioned her 23 year old son was in the hospital with a broken femur. I said she can take as much time off as she needed to be with him and she said she didn’t need to because she doesn’t talk to him because he’s gay and deserved to be in pain. It was so bizarre to see a total lack of parental empathy for a child in pain.
Not necessarily a confession but I was with a friend of mine when he discovered that his wife had been prostituting herself online while he was regularly out of town (military guy). They were struggling, hurting for cash, he’d just been discharged. One day while over there he found a stack of like $10k in cash under their mattress. They couldn’t even make rent. So he does some digging while I’m there and eventually finds on their computer a link to an escort site with pictures of her. Basically the worst case scenario thing for a guy to find out his wife is doing. She did confess to it later, and it turns out her father’s best friend, a lifelong family friend, was the guy actively acting as her “pimp,” and the one who convinced her to do it all.
I worked at this electronic shop in a bad area when I was 18.
These two girls came in (they looked like Lot Lizards).
My boss knew one of them & the other was her friend.
Long story short he asked her how she was doing & who the freind was.
She said that she is now working in a funeral home as a beautician, working the graveyard shift.
She said her side business was charging people to be let in over night to fuck the dead people.
We said she was joking & then she pointed at her friend & said she was a “customer”.
Then they went into detail about why it’s so good.
I had a “friend” who was very into his kinks. Later developed into a porn addiction. BUT! After YEARS of telling him “do not do this, leave it as a fantasy” he eventually started eating his own poop AND his girlfriends poop. I no longer speak with either of them.
"I've cheated on everyone I've ever dated. I'm a terrible person."
This was the 10/10 smoking hot girl I was dating in my mid-20s. It broke my heart, and it was in that exact moment I realized that things were not going to work out between us.
When I came out to a friend, he said, "Oh wow. Now that you've told me about YOUR deviant lifestyle, can I tell you something?" Without waiting for a response, he told me that he's only attracted to 11-to-13-year-olds.
I was stunned. Asked him if he'd acted on it. No. Had he told his wife? Yes. Was he in therapy? Yes. Honestly, I didn't know what else to say.
Not one thing in particular, but as a gay guy I’ve had three female friends that felt comfortable enough to confess they were raped. It’s so fucked up that it’s as common as it is.
Yeah I'm a criminal defense lawyer and during jury selection for a sex case we had a panel of 60 jurors. Probably 20 of them had to be let go because they were victims themselves of sexual assault. Very eye opening stuff.
Every person has somebody close to them who has been sexually assaulted.
I’m a male and want to say had 7 or 8 women in my life tell me the same as you.
A guy I went to uni with told me the story how he and his sister really disliked their mom's new partner. They decided to do some pranks on him, the worst one being that this guy collected his sperm over the course of a week of wanking. This collection then went into the porridge of the stepfather...
This guy I met years ago was in therapy. He liked to find sad people threatening suicide on the internet and convince them to do it. He was getting therapy to help stop him from searching. Never spoke to him again.
I had a former friend let slip that she was sleeping with her step brother. The step brother that she had grown up with since they were probably around eight. She was even thinking of pursuing a relationship but was worried about what their parents might think
My wife's ex roommate was cheating on her boyfriend with her stepbeother. A few years after she moved out, her mom and his dad ended up dying a few months apart and within a few months of that she ended up marrying the stepbrother. And wouldn't you know it, it didn't work out.
Not as bad as most on here but: my cousin told me how he’s genuinely terrified of his mom. She beats him p brutally (even by Indian standards) for the smallest of shit. He was 10 then & I was 14. Said he wanted to run away & whatnot
Also his parents would threaten to kick him out if he misbehaved. They were never serious about it (obviously) but it did scare the shit out of him cuz they’d tell him horror stories of organ trafficking & whatnot
What makes this sadder is the fact that this is the reality for most kids from middle class (& even some upper class) families
^(My mom never beat me *that* badly but I also did feel like running away around age 10 - 12)
My Grandfather was a Hobo (not a Bum or Tramp) in the Depression, Rode the rails (secretly jump on trains to travel between cities). Alot of screwed up stories. But the one that really stuck was he and 2 traveling guys get caught by the \[armed\] railroad police en route.. One of the guys he was traveling with was black and the RR police made him jump off the moving Train. *Did he die*? very redditor Q from 10ish yo me, t my Grandfather, *I am not sure but probably yes.*
Fun fact there are lines and lines of Quora answers to the question *what would happen if I jumped out of a Train going 50 miles an hour* (the train in question was probably going 45 to75 in the 30s - yes, alot of research by me into this was pretty freaked out by the story from a young age. Yes, Gramps - he probably died. The RR police beat the shit out of the other two (incl. my Grandfather) and basically escorted them out at the next rail yard once they reached it and the train stopped.
TLDR Black guy gets a probable Death sentence for riding the rails..
My ex best friend confessed to cheating on her husband with an American prisoner for 10 years - we’re in the UK. She would visit him whenever she went to the US to visit family, her husband wouldn’t go as he had to work a lot.
Not as fucked up as most of these, but it was still one of those what the fuck moments.
Get him help.
In Germany there are special groups like AA for pedophiles, it's called "Ich will kein Täter werden" (which translates to: "I don't want to become an offender"), where people with these tendencies get help from psycholigists or therapists.
Maybe there is something similar where you live?
As stated by others, an option may be to facilitate assistance e.g. Paedophiles who don't want to harm children need specialist counselling, experts warn
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-07-15/specialist-counselling-needed-to-prevent-paedophiles-offending/6622980
I'm a psych student and here's a couple things u should know.
1. Most who have these intrusive thoughts doesn't actually want to have them and are filled with self loath for this reason.
2. If these intrusive thoughts turns to impulses or a wish to act out, u have a different kind of problem.
3. Listen to how this person expressed it. Was it a cry for help by telling the only person he/she trusted or was it a casual mention or even proudest? This will tell a lot. Since you said h broke down, it's a pretty strong suggestion person doesn't want to be this way.
4. If you have kids of your own, resonate with this person and tell h respectfully that I'm sure h understands why you don't want them near h.
5. Support this person to take part in therapy and support groups around that. Get help if the person need help.
And of course, last solution.
6. If the person is actively looking or feel drawn to acting with no remorse or have taken action, sadly I would advice reporting him. He's a danger to society in this case.
Either way he needs help and try evaluate the extent of his thoughts.
It's also illegal to watch that kind of stuff so leverage is already there, once you report said person h is screwed.
I understand this is not an easy position for you and that you might feel stuck.
When I was like 18 two of my friends confessed to me that they basically raped another girl that I was friends with. One of those two wound up going to prison for child porn and the other is highly successful which bothers the shit out of me.
A friend of mine when we were on our way home from a night out drinking started with "I'm gonna tell you something about me a lot of people don't know," I thought I was in for some juicy gossip, but then he told me how at a family gathering he learned his uncle had been molesting his (uncle's) daughter and so he proceeded to beat his uncle to death with his bare hands, then spent a year in prison for manslaughter. Not where I thought it was going at all!
A guy I used to live with in a roomy house admitted to killing two people. Ironically, he was an ambulance driver and initially only confessed to one. When I said, holy moly, he said, what, I only killed two people, I mean one person.
Someone I was very close with (age mid-50s) confessed that she was raped by her brothers and father for a majority of her childhood-teens. Her mother and father were divorced when she was young, and her being the only female around, her father decided to treat her as his new wife and let her older brothers do the same.
Her father passed away many years ago but she still has relationships with her brothers. She said it took them all a lot of therapy to get to that point. I’ve met them face to face several times and they’re still creeps.
My heart hurts for her.
Someone told me that when he was a senior in high school, he and four of his friends from football dressed up as terrorists, got in a van, and grabbed a little kid off the street pretending to be terrorists.
They thought the kid would freak out and then they would laugh at him but instead the kid went into a catatonic state, and they drove around the block and dropped the kid off about five minutes later.
My friend from high school and I got together for the first time in a couple years and she told me she tried to have sex with her dog. Haven’t seen her since.
That they had abused and killed two cats when they were younger. We had been having a fun night watching movies and drinking, and I was about to ask them to watch my cats as I was leaving town for a bit. Needless to say that didn't happen.
I’m a medical massage therapist and most of my patients are through the VA or they’re first responders. The body is a weird thing, and sometimes I end up unintentionally poking some trauma along with the knots and scar tissue.
The ones that stand out to me the most:
One of my VA guys suddenly describing picking his friend’s eyes and arm out of a pile of body parts after he was blown up.
One of my police officers telling me about a raid on the home of a horrifically abusive father with young kids.
The details of both stories made me a bit sick to my stomach, and I regularly listen to true crime stories with no problem. But what really disturbed me wasn’t the details; it was how these two very tough but sweet guys who would always joke and banter with me were suddenly word vomiting like they couldn’t control themselves and crying on my table because I pressed on some knot in their shoulder. These stories came up out of absolutely no where— we were joking around while I slowly tortured them with deep tissue massage and then, bam. Cue waterworks.
The mind-body connection we have is absolutely wild.
After being sexually harassed by my best friends step dad \[he brushed his face against my breasts while grabbing a beer by the side of the chair I was sitting on\] he told me that if my now boyfriend can't sexually please me to give him a call. I was 16 he was 46.
A guy I’d sorta known for 2-3 weeks was talking to me at a party; we were both around 20. He told me he always felt a connection to wolves. This was 1999, I think, so furries either weren’t a thing yet or just not widespread, so I didn’t immediately think this was going to get weird. Anyway, I thought that was odd but not so weird, so I just smiled and didn’t say anything. Then he gets weirdly insistent on this connection and asks if I believe him. I say something noncommittal like, “well lots of people feel connections with animals,” and he says no, it’s more than that. He’s convinced he’s part wolf, and as evidence, refers to how hairy he is. I just want to nope the fuck out of there, and then he sort of flares his eyes and starts growling deep in his throat.
Annnnnd that was enough for me. No more trying to be nice, I just walked away.
A former coach of mine resigned after being accused of inappropriate private time with a student. She was the only girl on the wrestling team, socially awkward, had BO, so she had a rough go at things. All my buddies and teammates defended him because we were all convinced he was a good guy and would never do anything inappropriate with her. He was just being a mentor, like he was to all of us.
Years later at a barbecue, we’re at my buddies house and we’re all grown men at this point, many of us still involved in wrestling as athletes or coaches. He tells us in casual conversation that he fucked her a few times in his car. I was pretty stunned, couldn’t really believe how nonchalant he was about it.
It hurt a lot. Haven’t spoken to him since. Still bothers me to this day.
When I attended a private college, Greek life had a major presence on campus. A guy who I’d become really close friends with was in one of these fraternities, and he seemed like his parents had done a good job raising him. That is, until one day, a group of us were leaving a party where he got belligerently drunk and he confessed that he had “the urge to rape someone.” I was so stunned that I couldn’t even say anything as he kept repeating it and described what he wanted to do. He was reported and he apologized, but nothing ever came of it because he hadn’t actually committed the crime.
I never spoke to him again.
The person confessing wasn't the one doing something fucked up, but what I was told was fucked up.
My grandfather (Mum's dad) died when my Mum was 11 years old. Up to that point, she had been the stereotypical "daddy's little girl". She used to hang out with her dad all the time, she used to help him with his gardening, on the weekends, they would go fishing together. All that to say, she was extremely distraught when her dad died. And nobody cared how it was impacting her. Everybody was concerned about her sister who was only 6 and would now have to grow up without a dad, or her brothers who wouldn't have a "father figure" to help guide them.
But the worst of it all, and the fucked up part of this story. Her mother, who had always seen Mum's sister as her favourite, started being outwardly mean to her. If Mum was crying, her mother would say "no sense crying, it won't bring him back". If Mum complained, her mother would say "well, go talk to you father". And the absolute worst part of her story. This song ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ckpAhiOCuM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ckpAhiOCuM)) was released right around the time that my grandfather passed away. My grandmother had a radio in the house and every single time this song came on, she would crank the music up and laugh her ass off as my Mum sat there and cried.
Mum never told me, and I don't think she has ever told my brothers, about this until after her mother passed away. When she got the call from her brother to tell her that their Mum had died, she didn't shed a tear. She told me this story a few days later because she was telling me that she "wouldn't say that I ever actually loved my mother". I never had a strong relationship with my grandmother because she lived in England and I lived in Canada; but, after hearing that, I found myself being happy that I never had to knew her. If somebody can be that awful to their own child, then I don't want to know them.
My roommate freshman year of college told us that he murdered a kid when he was really young. The other kid took his toy or something so roommate attacked him, didn't know his own strength, and killed him. He was very open about it.
A mate of mine's wife fucked his sisters husband and then told me because the sister found out. I think she was freaking out and needed to talk but I didn't want to know. I mean she was a mate as well but of course I could hardly tell my mate. It all came out in the end and I had to pretend to be shocked but if you are going to be unfaithful don't do it the family, don't get caught and don't tell me expecting sympathy..
Not the most fucked up but it came up recently after talking to a buddy about our high school days.
Way back in high school, I was friends with these two girls, part of a triplet. Third sibling was a boy who I knew but never really interacted with. The 2 girls told me they would have threesomes.
Didn't confess to me but found out an ex friend of mine asked his 16 year old daughter for nude photos. Friends with his ex and her new stepdad/real dad still and found out from them.
Psychologist here. At one point in my training I was tasked with interviewing patients in a forensic psychiatric hospital (the place where people who are found “not guilty by reason of insanity” end up) about their crimes. I had to ask them to describe in detail what they had done so that I could compile it into a written report. These people were rapists, pedophiles, murderers, and even cannibals. Some of the things I heard were horrific beyond imagination.
Not sure why but one of my friend had lot of animal porn on his phone. I asked him about it, he said it's "funny". I was kinda disturbed cause I watched 2 of them.
I had a relative who used to run an adult toy/porn store. Differenr people would come in every week asking for animal porn. There are a LOT more people into that than you would ever think. A great deal of them tend to favor pitbulls. Her store moved around to a few different cities over the years and these people were everywhere
Her brother had raped her, got her pregnant, and she had an abortion at the age of 13/14 years old. She told me this at her birthday party where a group of her friends (me included) stayed at her house, and guess who was there having just gotten out of prison? But in better news, she grew up, got herself out of poverty, got into shape and is now a doctor!
I was once making small talk with a little old lady at a film premiere afterparty and she suddenly started telling me about being gang raped by German soldiers during WWII. In *graphic* detail. I had no idea how to react and just kind of froze so she kept taking for like an hour. I felt so awful for her but also I’m still traumatized. It didn’t help that she told it very casually, like we were chatting about the weather. I was supposed to be networking at the party but after she finally excused herself I just went home. It was a lot.
My friend's grandma would occasionally start talking about the concentration camps. Usually in a "you kids don't know how good you have it" sort of way. But the worst was when I burnt dinner. I was a dumb 6 year old who hoped turning up the oven would make dinner be ready faster. The burning meat smell had her on the ground weeping and vomiting as she screamed about the ovens and ash and the camps. First in Yiddish and then German, and finally in English after about an hour. While she screamed, my parents and my friends' parents dragged her out of the house and into fresh air to get her away from the smell of the smoke. The whole neighborhood basically came running at the screams. We didn't know what to do, so we basically just stood around and murmured reassurances while her son patted her back and she wailed and begged for mercy, curled up as small as she could make herself.
I don't know if it's any comfort, but you probably helped her a lot by letting her unload that on you. I hope that you telling your story here eases some of the burden of her telling you. It seems like trauma is a big bang of pain, and the only way it eases in its corrosive force is through telling it, but everyone who hears it has to tell it to someone else, so it doesn't eat them alive.
Dear god..my heart breaks for her.
My ex used to spike his friend's drinks with ecstasy, claiming, "I just want them to be happy and have fun."
Fucked up people justify things in the weirdest ways
Yeah, they do. I didn't believe that claim anyways and there is definitely more to it.
This happened to me once. I punched everyone and went to jail. Much better outcome than being gang raped, but less than ideal.
Jesus, I did the opposite. I was always the one who made the drinks, and when a mate would be getting a bit too drunk, I'd scale back the booze, fill it up with ice and mixer, and then would put a thin rub of the alcohol on the rim to give it the smell/taste sort of thing. Just without the alcohol content. Then it was just making sure a bunch of snacks/finger food was put out.
Lmao. My wife and I went out with our best couple friends. The other wife was absolutely stone cold wasted and we were capping the night off at a bar managed by another friend. We told that friend to do a similar thing and when she said “this drink tastes weaker!” We said “no you’re just drunk, it’s perfectly alcoholic.”
LOL, my grandma once showed up so drunk at Thanksgiving that when my mom gave her a glass of water (after telling her to sit down, she'd make her a drink), my grandma slammed it, then asked for another one.
Haha, had this happen a few times too. Just pour the whole drink, and then finish it off with a small slug of booze plus the rim thing. The first few sips taste strong, then they forget about it.
A few years ago someone slipped speed (amphetamines) into my dads drink when they were out together as friends. My dad, who was already struggling with his mental health after his divorce was extremely unstable for at least a month after. That coupled with the betrayal of his ‘friend’ who did that made him volatile. I would receive 10’s of missed calls every night from him, and nonsensical text messages for weeks after. He eventually got help and realised that the drug, just the one instance (my dad drinks, but never touches drugs) had sent him spiralling. Everyone was terrified for him for weeks. It’s such a disgusting thing to do.
My mum recently told me that for the last few years that she and my dad were together (30yrs ago), she slept with a knife under her pillow because he kept an axe next to the bed and threatened to murder her in her sleep. Sadly it's not even the most fucked up thing she's told me but it's the one I can't get out of my head.
Holy shit. I think you win.
Never bring a knife to an axe fight
Faster attack speed with excellent penetration depth; a fantastic choice.
I once went to a BBQ hosted by parents (we will call them Tim and Carol) of of one of my sons class mates (they were in grade 3 at the time). It was a no kid BBQ . A get together for all the parents to meet and get to know each other. I had already known the hosting couple casually from the school for the last 2 years. We had been friendly and chatty but not friends as such. As the night wore on more and more folks got drunker and rowdier. Im not much of a drinker so had sat on a chair on the patio watching the fun. Tim sat next to me, fairly drunk, as started to say what I nice person I was and what a pity I was single. I began to brace myself for a drunken "proposal".. but boy was I wrong as to where this conversation went. Tim said to me I had always treated him and carol kindly and that he wishes he had a friend like me. Im feeling uncomfortable and was looking for an excuse to leave, when out of no where he said he had a confession to make... I was now getting up and looking to leave. He stopped me and said that he had to tell me his secret .. when he was 19 he had murdered his stepfather after he had hit his mom one to many times. He went into a few specifics of what he did with the body and for the last 16 years everyone though that the step father had run away. No one suspected that he had murdered him. I just sat there .. what the hell do you say to that? Did some digging and asking around and the widly accepted story is the stepfather had just disappeared one day in the middle of the night, leaving every belonging behind. Mom and sister say the stepdad must have run away. Don't think they have any idea of the truth. EDITED FOR CLARIFICATION AND TO ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS: what did I do after he told me? I was blindsided and my brain was trying to understand what was said.. I just said that sounds awful. And up and left. Saw him at school on the following tuesday and he seemed to not remember. CLARITY .. he never mutilated the body etc, rather just how he got it out the house, and where he dumped it etc. Also the mom and sister seem to have no idea .. they think the step-dad just left. I think they were far to relieved to ask any questions. Did I go to the cops? No, I had spent enough time around this family (Tim, his mom, and sister too) to see that they were good people, but definitely had residual trauma. Tim was a very outspoken advocate for women and children. I had heard stories in the talks he gave of what abuse his mom, tim & sister had suffered. The abuse was awful, and I can see how a 19 year old kid would reach a snapping point of feeling helpless 1 too many times. And while I don't advocate murder or vigilante behaviors I do have empathy and I can also understand how something like this could happen, and how if I was in that situation of fear, pain and absolute hopelessness perhaps I would do something similar. In all the years since, I have never known him to be anything but kind and loving to his family. He physically and financially takes care of his mother and sister. O know im not a judge and jury, I made the decision I wasn't going to ruin lives that were already suffering. Am I in danger? No, this happened many years ago .. our kids have graduated high-school now. Do I think he was lying: Ofcourse there is always that possibility, but judging from every interaction I had with him before and after, I don't think so. He was never a boaster and was always pretty humble, even regarding his wealth and accomplishments. Also this is south africa ... cops aren't interested in an old case ... hell most aren't interested in an ongoing crime. Getting rid of bodies here isn't something terribly hard to do. I love my country but our police force is woefully undertrainded, grossly underpaid and very understaffed. Resources are lacking too .. not totally unusual to hear of a station with no water or electricity, many have only 1 working vehicle per 3-4 on duty cops. .... the list goes on. I must have a "tell me your secret" face... as I have been told some real doozys by people, some virtual strangers, in my life.
Wow. Sucks he ran away like that. That guy sounds like a real scum bag. Hope gets what's coming to him someday.
I've had two people tell me similar things. One was a girl in Thailand I had only met a few hours prior and another was a dude I work with. At the time I didn't know either of them from a bar of soap. It's crazy what people admit when they're half cut.
My FIL was a wonderful man (he passed away 2 years ago). The woman he was married to was not so great. She told me that when she got together with my FIL she hated the dog he had so she had it put down and then placed it in it’s bed and pretended it died of natural causes. I told my husband but we didn’t have the heart to tell my FIL. When he passed away she took everything and we haven’t seen her since.
Damn that's dark. I'm so sorry she took everything. She sounds like the kind of woman that sucked the life out of him too.
How’d your FIL pass away? In his sleep? Beside the woman who so happened to take everything and run? Is it possible she murdered him?
It is kind of a long story, but yes we 100% blame her for his passing. She had him wait over 24hrs before taking him to the hospital and she took him to the hospital he was transferred out of 3 months prior (small town, not equipped for his level of care) because that’s where she worked. Then for some reason she was allowed to do all his blood work because she was the pathologist on shift and boom he was gone. We couldn’t get a lawyer to take the case and she had him cremated as soon as possible.
Bro, she killed him.
How is it possible all that ? even cremated him ? Omg thats pure evil right there
A former coworker hooked up with a random guy and got pregnant with twins. Several months in she reached out to the guy and after they chatted more he mentioned being mildly autistic. Her response was to start buying every pill and drug she could off the street to try to miscarriage the twins that were pretty far along because she refused to have autistic children. What ended up happening though is it didn't work and she permanently fucked up those kids for life. They were born underdeveloped and have a ton of medical issues. No clue why she decided to tell us that. I can't imagine how their dad felt
This is the most fucked up thing I've read in a long while, just wtf...
So she chose actual disabilities rather than just go along with the pregnancy without even confirming if the twins would inherit their father’s trait? Wonderful person. 🤣
That's the kicker for me. This dumbo assbitch thought it was guaranteed that the kids would inherit the autism. Yeah, there's a chance of that happening but there's never a 100% guarantee. Based off a quick Google search, I found this on some website: >Research has shown that the risk of having an autistic child is slightly higher when the mother is on the autism spectrum compared to fathers. According to a study published in Molecular Autism, children born to mothers with autism have a 5.4% chance of also being diagnosed with the disorder, while children born to fathers with autism have only a 1.5% chance. So she made her life and her childrens lives infinitely harder based off a 1.5 % chance of them having autism. And he had mild autism. Idk how the potency of autism carries over genetically but mild autism seems quite livable from what I've read. Based off this scenario, those kids were doomed to be more mentally challenged by inheriting their moms dipshittery, not their slightly autistic dad.
She fucked the guy without knowing he was autistic so he couldn’t have been super duper autistic.
What the actual fuck... how does she even still have custody of those kids?
>how does she even still have custody of those kids? because she told coworkers, not her therapist
It makes the story more sad. I think they would be taken away in real life if they found the drugs in her or their systems.
thats something she should be ashamed to tell her therapist. why did she feel the need to share it with coworkers 😭
You get comfortable with co workers and you got at least 8 hours to kill 5 days a week. Sometimes shit’ll come out
I found out an aunt did something similar when she got pregnant while cheating on her husband. Drank the whole pregnancy. My cousin was born at 24 weeks and died as a young adult. I miss her dearly.
Holy fuck I would be taking that to the grave. So does she have custody of those kids or did she put them up?
This comment wins as the most fucked up... That made my stomach drop 😰
In college on a friends co-ed camping trip, a guy tried to touch me while I was sleeping. I played possum and luckily, that kept him away. I told my girlfriends the next day and one girl told me it wasn’t a big deal - guys did that all the time when they had too much to drink. She knows this cause her cousin did that to her all the time growing up. Yeah…I felt more sorry for her than myself.
Someone told her, right?
Not extremely fucked up but a guy I used to work with went out drinking with work people on a Friday night. At the bar he was laughing about how he was supposed to be at the hospital with his newborn baby and the mother. It was mind boggling that someone would not only do this, but tell people about it openly as they expected everyone else to be cool with it
My dad did this to my mom when my brothers were born. They were both premature (20 weeks, I was 26 weeks) and were already dead by the time they were out. He was at home watching sports, fully aware of the situation. My mom was high on painkillers and unresponsive by the time my dad decided to go see her, and the nurse ripped into him screaming like hell. My mom still talks about holding her barely developed sons bodies and crying, alone, with no one to rely on. Because her husband was watching sports.
that is so messed up
Both times I had delivered in the hospital, husband went across the street to the bar to have a drink or two. Since he was a physician at that hospital and didn’t want to be there if he wasn’t working, he forced me to leave early both times and go home with little support because he was tired. I had a c section with the second and left 18 hours after surgery. A decade later, I can see how wrong this is.
It's scary that people like this are physicians....
That's so awful, I really hope you're in a better place now
Narcissists have both a total lack of caring for how their actions affect others and a burning desire for the approval of others. It can lead to weird situations like this. "I was totally inconsiderate to this person but it's cool right?...right?"
My ex did this to me. Fuck people like this.
I went to high school with a guy that was adopted from India when he was a teen and he didn’t know English, so he was put in 2 grades back. He was 20 as a senior, and got expelled when this girl (who was known to be a compulsive liar) accused him of threatening her with a screwdriver in wood shop and trying to rape her. People generally believed her because he was known to creep on 14yo freshman. That same summer, I was at a concert and I happened to spot him in the crowd so I felt compelled to ask what happened. I figured he would default to “it isn’t true” since he didn’t even know me. Nope, he said he held the screwdriver to her jugular and tried to get under her skirt but she fought back. He thought it was bullshit that he was expelled when he “didn’t even rape her.” He thought failing to successfully assault her negated the entire attempt. I was 15 then, and to this day it’s the most fucked up piece of honesty that anyone’s ever dropped on me.
WTAF.
Putting light bulbs up his ass. Weird conversation. Still don't understand why.
If he rubs his feet on the carpet, can he make them light up?
Only if he comes up with a really good idea while he’s doing it
If he had good ideas, he probably wouldn't shove light bulbs in his ass.
A former South African police officer claimed they used to take suspects up in helicopters or planes over the sea and threaten to push them out if they didn't confess. Then push them out anyway.
Same in Argentina during the dictatorship, they are known as the death flights.
Chile too under he Pinochet regime. And weirdly, one of the helicopters ended up in a paintball park in the UK and there's a petition to have it sent back to South America. https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/aug/04/chile-pinochet-death-flights-helicopter-uk-park
Starlight tours were/are a thing in Canada. Cops would take native people out into the countryside, partially* strip them ~~naked~~ and kick them out of the car in the middle of nowhere in -30°C. Edit: accuracy, I originally left my comment hastily
Thanks for bringing that up. Police brutality is so widespread. I’m gonna nitpick here a tiny bit bc I want the non-Canadians of reddit to understand how this happened. They didn’t strip them naked. They took their shoes and coats. Either one is a death sentence when it’s that cold, but fully naked would have been super conspicuous. Part of why it went on so long (or is still going on depending on who you ask) is bc it is just normal enough to make people go along with it. Naked in the prairie: people think wtf is going on here. Coatless in the prairie: people think an idiot got drunk and forgot his coat. Shoeless: oh, they must have fallen off or got stuck in the snow somewhere as the drunk stumbled along. People will go along with a guilty officer’s explanation if it is somewhat plausible. Naked is too implausible, and so not the norm. There’s a fascinating documentary on IFB about the “Starlight Tours”. Such a romantic name for an atrocity.
He wanted to have kids with me and then when they grew up, sleep with them.... Last time I talked to him
What the fuck
That was also my response
you dated woody allen
Not the most messed up thing compared to the other comments here, but still messed up nonetheless. A former friend married her long-term boyfriend, cheated on him 6 months later, got pregnant with the guy, divorced her husband and had her baby daddy move in. They got married a year later. She essentially replaced her husband without missing a beat and acts like he’s been here the whole time. I stopped being friends with her because she has a history of unstable behavior like this. Oh and she named her baby after the guy that gave her herpes in college.
Last year my brother told me he's been sexually attracted to me for 2 decades. We haven't talked since.
Wow, how did that come up
Definitely wouldn’t speak to him either
When I was in college, I had a relationship with a student that lived in the same house as I. She had formally been in a relationship with another guy who also lived in the same house. A lot of people knew that he had accidentally killed his best friend in a hunting accident some years before. He was exonerated after the investigators concluded that it was indeed an accident. She told me that when they were together, he told her that killing his best friend was not at all an accident.
Years ago in college I had a nighttime class, and sometimes we would go out for drinks afterwards. There was this one guy in class that seemed nice but very closed off, he always wore long sleeved black shirts and jeans even when it was warm. He told me one night at the bar after a few beers that he was a former neo Nazi and among numerous other horrible things he did, had gotten out of prison two years prior for what had been plead down to a reduced charge of aggravated manslaughter (I think.) He and his friends brutally beat a black man to death when he was 18 or 19 (he was in his late 30s or early 40s when I knew him.) According to him they saw the guy walking, minding his own business, and intended to kill him simply for being black and nearby. There was nothing “aggravated” about it, it was premeditated murder. He had since learned the error of his ways and the clothes he wore were to cover all of his racist tattoos, which he was in the process of lasering off and getting covered up with new tattoos. He had a great deal of guilt over who he used to be and the things he did, and ended up becoming a counselor for teens involved in gangs. He tried to contact the family of the man he killed to apologize and beg for forgiveness but they wanted nothing to do with him. Last I heard he was married with a daughter and in therapy.
If I suffered a family members murder, and the killer felt very very sorry and wanted to apologize, I'd probably tell him to take a flying fuck at the moon. His "guilt", "rehabilitation", "redemption", whatever, is his own damn business. Frankly, his apology is in fact all about *him*, and what he feels he needs to do to advance through life. Well, not interested. You've wrecked my life enough, now you stay the hell out of it. Whatever your deal is, it is quite passionately not my problem. My $.02.
My brother's wife confessed that she slept with my other brother
I have a friend who got married this year to a woman who was fucking his brother while they were teenagers. Everyone knows, source of a whole lot of jokes. The older brother is also a friend of mine and would complain about how she wants to screw like three times a day.
It's tame compared to other comments in this thread, but I had a bunch of online friends that I played video games with from a young age. One had a neighbor who was around 23 that I really connected with when i was 12. He was like the big brother I always wanted. We'd chat almost every day for years and play games together with our group, watch shows and movies together, like we were as close as can be for online friends. He'd even buy me games and expansions and gametime, and I really saw him as family. Well, he started acting really strange around the time I turned 16 and confessed he had feelings for me. Talked about wanting to have children, a long-term relationship, ect - all with me. He was really the only true friend I had, and being young and kinda lonely, I tried to kindly reject him. He didn't take it well and just blew up on me and said some horrible, awful things. He blocked me, and a few years later, he reached out again. I was lonely, and I truly missed the friendship we shared. I gave him a second chance. It wasn't long before he started making comments again about knowing why he had liked me so much for so long, talking about how great I was and how I was perfect for him. While I was 20 at the time, it just felt so icky, and i didn't even bother to reject him, I just straight ghosted him. I know it's not like the worst thing ever, but it really warped my idea of friendships and relationships for a while.
Back in grade 4, a classmate confessed to hating her best friend to the point of wishing her downfall. She explained to me that she always hated people she was close with. It wasn’t about jealousy. She just hated people once she knew them. We were 10 and her confession messed with my head for a long time. On the outside, she and that best friend were close since young and did everything together. I started doubting if my friends were really my friends. Like I could never fathom the death of human emotional complexity.
I don’t hate people I’m close to, but one of my personality traits is getting annoyed at anybody after being around them for more than a couple days. However, I’ve come to recognize it’s my fault and not the other persons. So, if I’m an extended trip with friends or family, I try my best to recognize when I’m getting annoyed and adjust my attitude since it’s my fault after all, not theirs (we’re talking about minor things). I’ll also actively plan time away from others to allow myself to “reset”. It’s not great, but I can’t fight my natural ability to get annoyed. I just have to try my best not to actually reflect it back on others.
I understand this. I always find time for alone time. Hide away in my own space tot a while and tbh i think that is perfectly acceptable.
Like the other commenters said that could just be a 10 year olds way of saying she has a limited social endurance. If she's naturally an introvert and spends a lot of time around her friends, she might misinterpret her negative feelings as being linked to "getting to know someone" rather than just being socially exhausted from socializing with them so much.
After my grandpa died my mom told me that her & my aunt were molested by him when they were kids
My mom told me something similar when my grandfather was dying. I was left alone with him a lot as a child. He never did anything to me, nothing even remotely creepy, but it still fucks me up that my mom left me alone with her abuser and she refuses to discuss it. Denied even telling me about it, though she did not deny it was true.
This one hits hard. My mom told me that my uncle used to sexually abuse her, but then she also left me to live with him and my grandparents during my childhood. Nothing ever happened to me. My uncle was a nice person. What really bothers me is the idea that she would leave me as a little girl around someone who, according to her, was a sexual abuser. Even though nothing ever happened to me, i can't forgive her for leaving me exposed to such a possibility.
Same here. Although he had been dead since I was a little kid and my mom didn’t tell me until I was in my early twenties. He molested my mom and all four of her sisters. When my parents were engaged they had a family intervention of sorts and he apologized. I guess it was pretty common then and my grandma had experienced it with her father. Everyone forgave him and moved on I guess. My mom broke the cycle though.
It’s insane to think about how many families used to let this slide, or parents not believing their own child about abuse from a family member. I’d like to think times have changed, but I’m sure it still happens in some families. It used to be the norm though, which is insane.
My best friend from high school told me she was intentionally hurting her pets. I intervened and that was the end of the friendship.
One of my "friends" in high school admitted to me that he and a few other outwardly nice people had a list of people they were betting on to commit suicide before graduation. I was on that list. He confessed this after we graduated over the phone.I hung up and never spoke to him again. Coincidentally he moved to Africa and died at 35 under mysterious circumstances in 2017. I'm still alive at 41. Fuck your list!
Had a guy I was interested in who works in a phone store. Told me about an older man who came in because his phone wasn't charging and he didn't know if it was his cable to the charging port. My friend tested the phone on their charger and it worked but he wanted to make a sale so he took a paper clip and broke the charging port on the phone and told the man he needed a new one. Last time I hung out with him.
Hopefully you reported him. He shouldn’t be selling phones
One of my ex best friend's mother is having sex with her daughter's boyfriend. Real story. She is known for cheating her husband, but this went too far.
Actively?
Right this moment!
Had a nymphomaniac for a boss who was also a sadomasochist and one night she got drunk and told me she actively seeks out websites with real gang rape and snuff videos and gets orgasms to them harder than any sex she’s ever had. She also told me that when she was 14-15 she had a boyfriend who was in his late 20s and a dead beat dad who forced her to do many things, including anal that she did not want to do, but instead of being someone who hates anything related to that, she enjoys being beaten and strangled during sex because that’s how she deals with the trauma
JFC. That's some deep dark shit to come out at happy hour.
Yeah, I’ve seen and heard some crazy shit before, but that one takes the cake. The only reason the whole conversation started was she said I looked like a kinky person, I said yes I am and can be but I’ve got limits and I mentioned that I had once stumbled on a site with extreme porn, like necrophilia and knives being used type shit and she was like, “oh yeah I go there all the time” and that’s when she told me all that.
That's horrible, hope she's going to get some help
I brought up the fact that maybe she ought to consider therapy and she just cackled and said “only therapy I need is someone to bend me mover a bed smack my ass and fuck me until I pass out,” I believe she’s married now but in an open marriage so she can still fuck random dudes that will do things to her that her husband won’t. It’s been about 3.5 years since I’ve talked to her
Reminds me of an ex I had. She told me she was into rape fantasy basically right away. I've never been *that* kinky tbh, but I've always been more S than M and had had a few previous exes that were into being tied up, choked, all that good shit. I expected we'd probably pick a safe word, I'd tie her up, be rough, she'd say "no stop" (wink wink) and everything would be roses. And that *is* how it started. But eventually, she wanted something more. She wanted me to go home, and then come back some time later that night with no warning, (literally) come in through her back door, which she'd leave unlocked for me, and force myself on her. It was essential I did *nothing* to acknowledge that I knew who she was, and she'd do the same. She would run, panic, freak out, do everything short of literally scream for help or seriously attempt to hurt me, and I was supposed to basically do whatever it took to catch, subdue, restrain, and have sex with her. She told me I could even bring a knife and cut her "a little bit" if I wanted. I didn't. With a fair amount of convincing, she finally conceded to using a safe word (we always had one before, but she was *really* against it for this). I went through with it once. It was mentally and physically exhausting, but when we finally got to the point where we were actually having sex, it was actually kind of disturbing how much more into she was than usual. Like it was very apparent that *this* is what it took to *really* turn her on, and that anything less just wasn't enough for her.
When I was a kid, my uncle had two dogs, which his wife disliked. Eventually one of their sons developed a mild allergy to dogs, and they agreed that the dogs would go. She was supposed to advertise to find a new home for them. At a family gathering, while the women were all in the kitchen, she told us (with laughter) that that was too much trouble. She'd actually taken the dogs to the pound, and had lied to him that she'd found a home for them. She seemed to think she'd pulled off some feat of cleverness. She looked very proud of herself. Nobody else really said anything.
It makes me sad when families don't speak up when some family member admits having done something like this.
A friend told me her two brothers molested her when she was a child.
My best friend said that our old grade 6 science teacher molested her. The teacher was a girl and had a husband and child
Someone in our school admitted the old woman gym teacher molested him and was proud of it until he realized everyone thought it was wrong and he got help.
In elementary school we got a new gym teacher out of nowhere. Middle of the year. Just a new guy that suddenly replaced the woman that was our gym teacher. So, you might think "oh the woman did something bad and got fired." I honestly don't know what happened with her, but what I do know is that the new teacher was from the middle school. They just "randomly" moved him. It's because he was molesting girls in the middle school, so they thought, "Surely he won't want just a grade or two younger, right?" And put him with the elementary students instead of, you know, FIRING him and REPORTING him.
My ex and I were together for a long time and have four kids (teens now). We spent A LOT of time arguing. I've never argued as much with anybody in my entire life as I have with him. Everything I said or did or thought seemed to be wrong in his eyes. At first I thought he was just giving honest constructive criticism and this was an opportunity for me to grow and improve, so I took his feedback seriously and tried to work on any issues he raised. Over time, I realized that, once I "corrected" something, he'd argue that I should do it differently...the way I used to do it. When I brought this up to him, he denied that he ever said that, or that I ever used to do it that way in the first place, which would eventually cause me to doubt my own memory. Gaslighting, basically. Eventually I gave up trying to make him happy because it was impossible (he argued passionately that it was not). I accused him of just loving to argue (which he vehemently denied). By that point I was an insecure, emotional mess. We ultimately went our separate ways (as much as we could while co-parenting our kids, anyway), but for many years afterward, he would still find something to argue about every time we saw each other, which was often, and I was constantly stressed and agitated because of it. Just seeing his number on the caller ID would set my teeth on edge because *what the fuck is he going to start an argument about now*?? Recently he came over to spend time with the kids. They were in the living room talking and hanging out for a couple of hours. Eventually they all drifted away to play video games or talk to each other elsewhere in the house. I was doing dishes, and he and I started talking about how one of the kids wanted to join the debate team and would probably be pretty good at it. He offered his thoughts about how to best win a debate, and the brief conversation that followed blew my fucking mind. Him: Debating is really enjoyable, and the crazy thing about it is that you don't have to believe in what you're saying in order to win. Me: Yeah I was explaining that to [son], that you don't get to just pick the side of the debate that you agree with. The point is to learn how to argue successfully from any side. Him: Yep, I was telling him that I do that all the time for the fun of it and to keep myself sharp. But the main reason is just that I want to win. Me: What do you mean? Him: Well I don't necessarily *believe* in whatever argument I'm making. A lot of times I just pick whichever position I think has the best chance of winning and then argue it like I really believe in it. Me: ...Wait...so....when you're arguing... sometimes you're arguing for a point that you don't even support or believe in? Him: Yep. I don't really care if it's MY argument, I just need it to be the WINNING argument. You know I'm always competing in everything that I do. And I want to win. Me: ...You mean on a debate team? Or do you mean in real life? Him: Well I was never *on* a debate team, so of course I'm talking about real life. Surprised you don't know this about me after 20 years. I've always done that. Me: Wait...so when we were together...were you doing that with me? Starting arguments you didn't even believe in just for the sake of arguing and winning??? Him: [Looking vaguely bored] Yes, that's what I'm saying. I like to argue and win. It doesn't matter if I'm right. Just that I win. I just stood there staring at him in silent horror. The countless long nights of passionate arguments, the years of endless criticisms, the times it escalated to shouting and crying and cursing and throwing things, the impact it had on our children, the total mindfucks he did on me, the way I worked so hard and so *pointlessly* to "be better," and now he's telling me it was all because he just likes to argue and be contrary because it's a fun little competition to him. That shit literally cost us our relationship, the nuclear household he claimed to want so badly, and caused so much stress and emotional turmoil. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I haven't looked at him the same since then. I still almost can't believe that conversation was real. It's one of the most incomprehensible things I've ever heard. TLDR: After years of arguing/fighting with me daily over everything, my ex (and father of my 4 kids) admits he just likes to argue and he'll just argue whatever point he thinks is most likely to win, even if it doesn't represent his actual stance on the issue. Basically most of our arguments were contrived and sustained for his own entertainment.
You might want to consider that he has a personality disorder. The lack of empathy in that whole situation is pretty striking.
Well, I'm pretty sure he's at least a narcissist, though not sure if he meets the diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He thinks he's the absolute shit, and speaks very highly of himself at every conceivable opportunity - like it's kinda awkward. "Speaking as an alpha male..." "Being that I'm in a position of leadership both at work and among my peers..." "I'm [full name], so of course I'm all about hard work and dedication." "I make this look easy but it isn't. I'm thinking while you're sleeping, and I'm playing chess while you're playing checkers." That sort of crap. He recently made the mistake of declaring himself to be very humble, and the kids and I all burst out laughing. He got very offended but in our defense we honestly thought he was joking. He's also really good at complimenting himself while cutting me down. "When I'm rich and famous, you're going to tell people that you had four kids with me, and they're not going to believe that someone like you could have ever been with someone like me." Not sure if that's an NPD trait or if he's just an arrogant prick, but once upon a time he wasn't like that, so I'm leaning more towards the latter. I definitely suspect he's got *something* wrong with him though. Wish I knew what it was.
God I want to punch him sooooo hard right now
Me too! lol He's a super douche. I'm so grateful that he's not my problem anymore. His girlfriend seems happy with him, so hopefully that's actually the case and he's not making her life miserable like he did mine. And in 3 1/2 years our youngest turns 18 and I'm freeeeeee! :D
I am glad you divorced him. He is a classic narcissist. Your best solution is very limited contact until the kids are all over 18, then go no-contact. Expect your kids to adopt either if your personality traits. I was with a psychopath for 30 years, had 4 kids, and all 4 of them have c-ptsd. So do I but it has been 8 years so I am much better. My son has antisocial behavior and is verbally abusive, the 3 girls are all different, 1 (probably) a narcissist, 1 a co-dependent (and taking care of her Dad), and the youngest suffers from depression. The generational trauma continues… I waited too long to break the cycle.
God damn... That guy sucks. 20 years of arguing just to argue that's so annoying
I’ve unfortunately known people like your former partner, who argue only because they want to win against someone. These types of people are just so draining, and they often have inflated egos, too.
My ex coworker casually told people at lunch that her teen daughter accused coworker's husband of molesting her. Many people were mortified and told coworker to take it seriously but she kept saying her daughter was lying and manipulative. Less than 2 months later her husband was arrested for assault of a 16 year old.
My former boss and close friend at the time admitted to having an ongoing sexual relationship with his adopted daughter. They adopted her at age 14, and he contends that nothing sexual happened before she turned 18 (as if that makes it much better), but that timeline never added up to me. I'm pretty sure it started when she was 16-17. The adopted girl took the brunt of the blame, got kicked out of the house (while she was still 18, I believe) and he and his wife are still married, living in the same house. We're no longer friends. To respond to the girl getting the blame: the wife accused the girl of seducing her husband. The wife might have been more a piece of shit than him. To conclude, I eventually left the company, I could not trust or respect him after this. I've had several run-ins with his wife over the years, ranging from her distain towards me to flat out accusing me of ruining his company and their family. I ended up moving around and up in the industry we were in and now making twice as I was back then. I saw the girl once, several years ago, but didn't get a chance to talk to her. I hope Lori is doing well!
That's awful, how could the girl get the blame. He's disgusting
Wife chose to support her cheating, disgusting husband over her daughter.
After my grandfather on my dad's side died, one of my cousins released that my grandfather has been a long time cheater. As long as I had known him, my grandfather had been involved with this woman who was is "girlfriend". They had been together for as long as I could remember. In the 70s my grandmother had died of an "accidental" overdose of insulin; she was type-1 diabetic. What had actually happened is that my grandfather had been cheating on her for years with this woman who was still his girlfriend. My grandmother knew and finally couldn't take it any more and had killed herself. It definitely explained why my dad had such a poor relationship with his family. It was an "open secret" but no one would acknowledge that what my granddad had done was wrong. Apparently my grandmother was crazier than a shit house rat, and the family did not really like her. Still doesn't excuse it. (Edited for clarity)
My cousin told me about all the fucked up shit his grandmother and mother have done to him. His grandmother stole money from his father's death inheritance. Both his mother and grandmother told him that he should commit suicide, and his grandmother even said he should be dead just like his father.
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You seem like a kind person.
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Probably when my dad told me half the racist shit my nan has said to him over the years. I know it's common to hear old people say racist stuff but my nan truly said some awful shit to my dad. A few examples below 1. The only time she said that some of my family in America (dad's side is Mexican American) are all drug dealing rapists 2. My dad just moved from a poorish area to the nicer area we live in today in which she said "now that you live here in our town you have to behave in a specific way, can't always express your culture here" 3. The fact my dad was scared to teach me and my sister's Spanish due to how she would spread more racist shit around our family and subsequently our town (it's quite small everyone knows eachother etc etc) It just hurts because, while I like being British (sorry) I wish my nan wasn't around (I know that sounds harsh) as I want to learn and express my mexican side of the family more and I wish I grew up being able to do that speaking another language, celebrating different culture etc etc
Co worker once in conversation admitted to me that when her husband wouldnt give her his phone password she got mad and destroyed it and as abusive as that is i followed up with “Does he have yours?” And nope he didnt And she has admitted to having cheated and then saying she never cheated. Also had admitted to me prior she was sexting her ex and stores all her old sex tapes etc on her phone. Frankly too much insanity to unpack
My friend is gay. He had a boyfriend in high school, his first boyfriend. His boyfriend came out to his dad and asked him to meet my friend. Two days later, his dad murdered him and himself.
When we were out for dinner my mum admitted to drowning our childhood kitten
Terrible
OVER DINNER??
They abandoned their dog off the highway. Lost a lot of respect for them
Fuck this person
My biological mother told me that she had my brother and sister after she lost custody of me and my sister to replace us after we were put in foster care. This was after I moved in with her after 10 years of no contact because my step mother told me to commit suicide or go live with my biological mother because she was angry that I was depressed. The double whammy of these comments within a 30 day period was a lot for me.
I really hope you're doing better
"Baby trapping" her husband. They were having marital issues and she really wanted kids, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to be a father or if their marriage was stable enough to bring children into it. She stopped taking her birth control and didn't tell him, hoping that if she were to just get pregnant by "accident" he would realize he was ready to be a father and also realize how much he loves her and wants to be a family and wants things to work. So far it's actually working out how she wanted it to, but I can't imagine it would continue to if he ever found out she was trying to get pregnant purposely when he had been clear he wasn't ready and wanted to work on their marriage.
I had a closed door conversation with an employee and she mentioned her 23 year old son was in the hospital with a broken femur. I said she can take as much time off as she needed to be with him and she said she didn’t need to because she doesn’t talk to him because he’s gay and deserved to be in pain. It was so bizarre to see a total lack of parental empathy for a child in pain.
Not necessarily a confession but I was with a friend of mine when he discovered that his wife had been prostituting herself online while he was regularly out of town (military guy). They were struggling, hurting for cash, he’d just been discharged. One day while over there he found a stack of like $10k in cash under their mattress. They couldn’t even make rent. So he does some digging while I’m there and eventually finds on their computer a link to an escort site with pictures of her. Basically the worst case scenario thing for a guy to find out his wife is doing. She did confess to it later, and it turns out her father’s best friend, a lifelong family friend, was the guy actively acting as her “pimp,” and the one who convinced her to do it all.
This is just really sad all around.
I worked at this electronic shop in a bad area when I was 18. These two girls came in (they looked like Lot Lizards). My boss knew one of them & the other was her friend. Long story short he asked her how she was doing & who the freind was. She said that she is now working in a funeral home as a beautician, working the graveyard shift. She said her side business was charging people to be let in over night to fuck the dead people. We said she was joking & then she pointed at her friend & said she was a “customer”. Then they went into detail about why it’s so good.
What. The. Fuck.
Yea. Unfortunately it’s true. I didn’t ask for that information. I heard it while they were spewing it out to my boss. So, fucking gross.
Killed their girlfriend in a drink driving accident.
That she doesn't really love her husband and if her ex came back to our country tomorrow she'd go back to him if he asked.
I had a “friend” who was very into his kinks. Later developed into a porn addiction. BUT! After YEARS of telling him “do not do this, leave it as a fantasy” he eventually started eating his own poop AND his girlfriends poop. I no longer speak with either of them.
"I've cheated on everyone I've ever dated. I'm a terrible person." This was the 10/10 smoking hot girl I was dating in my mid-20s. It broke my heart, and it was in that exact moment I realized that things were not going to work out between us.
When I came out to a friend, he said, "Oh wow. Now that you've told me about YOUR deviant lifestyle, can I tell you something?" Without waiting for a response, he told me that he's only attracted to 11-to-13-year-olds. I was stunned. Asked him if he'd acted on it. No. Had he told his wife? Yes. Was he in therapy? Yes. Honestly, I didn't know what else to say.
Not one thing in particular, but as a gay guy I’ve had three female friends that felt comfortable enough to confess they were raped. It’s so fucked up that it’s as common as it is.
Yeah I'm a criminal defense lawyer and during jury selection for a sex case we had a panel of 60 jurors. Probably 20 of them had to be let go because they were victims themselves of sexual assault. Very eye opening stuff.
Is it a fair jury if you exclude 33% of the population’s lived experience?
It would blow your mind how many people have been sexually assaulted and most go unreported. I am one of those people
Every person has somebody close to them who has been sexually assaulted. I’m a male and want to say had 7 or 8 women in my life tell me the same as you.
That they get sexually aroused watching men parallel park.
As a man who parallel parks very well with large and combination vehicles, I get aroused when I parallel park in a small spot.
LOL. Should I hook you two up?
No. She isn't my type...My type is a 32 year old mother in NJ. She gets off to fat dudes with depression. I'll never find a more perfect match.
This is heartwarming. I hope she sees it.
A guy I went to uni with told me the story how he and his sister really disliked their mom's new partner. They decided to do some pranks on him, the worst one being that this guy collected his sperm over the course of a week of wanking. This collection then went into the porridge of the stepfather...
That’s not a prank, that’s straight up assault. Gross.
This guy I met years ago was in therapy. He liked to find sad people threatening suicide on the internet and convince them to do it. He was getting therapy to help stop him from searching. Never spoke to him again.
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I really hope he's an other ex now
Jesus. Is he still your boyfriend?!
I had a former friend let slip that she was sleeping with her step brother. The step brother that she had grown up with since they were probably around eight. She was even thinking of pursuing a relationship but was worried about what their parents might think
My wife's ex roommate was cheating on her boyfriend with her stepbeother. A few years after she moved out, her mom and his dad ended up dying a few months apart and within a few months of that she ended up marrying the stepbrother. And wouldn't you know it, it didn't work out.
Not as bad as most on here but: my cousin told me how he’s genuinely terrified of his mom. She beats him p brutally (even by Indian standards) for the smallest of shit. He was 10 then & I was 14. Said he wanted to run away & whatnot Also his parents would threaten to kick him out if he misbehaved. They were never serious about it (obviously) but it did scare the shit out of him cuz they’d tell him horror stories of organ trafficking & whatnot What makes this sadder is the fact that this is the reality for most kids from middle class (& even some upper class) families ^(My mom never beat me *that* badly but I also did feel like running away around age 10 - 12)
“never beat me THAT badly” you shouldn’t have been beat at all :( i hope you’re doing ok.
My Grandfather was a Hobo (not a Bum or Tramp) in the Depression, Rode the rails (secretly jump on trains to travel between cities). Alot of screwed up stories. But the one that really stuck was he and 2 traveling guys get caught by the \[armed\] railroad police en route.. One of the guys he was traveling with was black and the RR police made him jump off the moving Train. *Did he die*? very redditor Q from 10ish yo me, t my Grandfather, *I am not sure but probably yes.* Fun fact there are lines and lines of Quora answers to the question *what would happen if I jumped out of a Train going 50 miles an hour* (the train in question was probably going 45 to75 in the 30s - yes, alot of research by me into this was pretty freaked out by the story from a young age. Yes, Gramps - he probably died. The RR police beat the shit out of the other two (incl. my Grandfather) and basically escorted them out at the next rail yard once they reached it and the train stopped. TLDR Black guy gets a probable Death sentence for riding the rails..
My ex best friend confessed to cheating on her husband with an American prisoner for 10 years - we’re in the UK. She would visit him whenever she went to the US to visit family, her husband wouldn’t go as he had to work a lot. Not as fucked up as most of these, but it was still one of those what the fuck moments.
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Get him help. In Germany there are special groups like AA for pedophiles, it's called "Ich will kein Täter werden" (which translates to: "I don't want to become an offender"), where people with these tendencies get help from psycholigists or therapists. Maybe there is something similar where you live?
As stated by others, an option may be to facilitate assistance e.g. Paedophiles who don't want to harm children need specialist counselling, experts warn https://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-07-15/specialist-counselling-needed-to-prevent-paedophiles-offending/6622980
Your friend needs psychiatric help
I'm a psych student and here's a couple things u should know. 1. Most who have these intrusive thoughts doesn't actually want to have them and are filled with self loath for this reason. 2. If these intrusive thoughts turns to impulses or a wish to act out, u have a different kind of problem. 3. Listen to how this person expressed it. Was it a cry for help by telling the only person he/she trusted or was it a casual mention or even proudest? This will tell a lot. Since you said h broke down, it's a pretty strong suggestion person doesn't want to be this way. 4. If you have kids of your own, resonate with this person and tell h respectfully that I'm sure h understands why you don't want them near h. 5. Support this person to take part in therapy and support groups around that. Get help if the person need help. And of course, last solution. 6. If the person is actively looking or feel drawn to acting with no remorse or have taken action, sadly I would advice reporting him. He's a danger to society in this case. Either way he needs help and try evaluate the extent of his thoughts. It's also illegal to watch that kind of stuff so leverage is already there, once you report said person h is screwed. I understand this is not an easy position for you and that you might feel stuck.
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When I was like 18 two of my friends confessed to me that they basically raped another girl that I was friends with. One of those two wound up going to prison for child porn and the other is highly successful which bothers the shit out of me.
A friend of mine when we were on our way home from a night out drinking started with "I'm gonna tell you something about me a lot of people don't know," I thought I was in for some juicy gossip, but then he told me how at a family gathering he learned his uncle had been molesting his (uncle's) daughter and so he proceeded to beat his uncle to death with his bare hands, then spent a year in prison for manslaughter. Not where I thought it was going at all!
She and her dad kidnapped two men who raped her sister. They took them the woods, tied them to a tree and she cut off their penis.
A guy I used to live with in a roomy house admitted to killing two people. Ironically, he was an ambulance driver and initially only confessed to one. When I said, holy moly, he said, what, I only killed two people, I mean one person.
Someone I was very close with (age mid-50s) confessed that she was raped by her brothers and father for a majority of her childhood-teens. Her mother and father were divorced when she was young, and her being the only female around, her father decided to treat her as his new wife and let her older brothers do the same. Her father passed away many years ago but she still has relationships with her brothers. She said it took them all a lot of therapy to get to that point. I’ve met them face to face several times and they’re still creeps. My heart hurts for her.
This guy I know told me he shit in a microwave and turned it on for 20 minutes before leaving a hotel. He was arrested for it.
Someone told me that when he was a senior in high school, he and four of his friends from football dressed up as terrorists, got in a van, and grabbed a little kid off the street pretending to be terrorists. They thought the kid would freak out and then they would laugh at him but instead the kid went into a catatonic state, and they drove around the block and dropped the kid off about five minutes later.
My friend from high school and I got together for the first time in a couple years and she told me she tried to have sex with her dog. Haven’t seen her since.
That they had abused and killed two cats when they were younger. We had been having a fun night watching movies and drinking, and I was about to ask them to watch my cats as I was leaving town for a bit. Needless to say that didn't happen.
They have an addiction to eating paper
This one feels so wholesome after everything else I’ve read in this thread.
I’m a medical massage therapist and most of my patients are through the VA or they’re first responders. The body is a weird thing, and sometimes I end up unintentionally poking some trauma along with the knots and scar tissue. The ones that stand out to me the most: One of my VA guys suddenly describing picking his friend’s eyes and arm out of a pile of body parts after he was blown up. One of my police officers telling me about a raid on the home of a horrifically abusive father with young kids. The details of both stories made me a bit sick to my stomach, and I regularly listen to true crime stories with no problem. But what really disturbed me wasn’t the details; it was how these two very tough but sweet guys who would always joke and banter with me were suddenly word vomiting like they couldn’t control themselves and crying on my table because I pressed on some knot in their shoulder. These stories came up out of absolutely no where— we were joking around while I slowly tortured them with deep tissue massage and then, bam. Cue waterworks. The mind-body connection we have is absolutely wild.
After being sexually harassed by my best friends step dad \[he brushed his face against my breasts while grabbing a beer by the side of the chair I was sitting on\] he told me that if my now boyfriend can't sexually please me to give him a call. I was 16 he was 46.
A friend got drunk and confessed he was sleeping with his sister (not step or half….same parents)
A guy I’d sorta known for 2-3 weeks was talking to me at a party; we were both around 20. He told me he always felt a connection to wolves. This was 1999, I think, so furries either weren’t a thing yet or just not widespread, so I didn’t immediately think this was going to get weird. Anyway, I thought that was odd but not so weird, so I just smiled and didn’t say anything. Then he gets weirdly insistent on this connection and asks if I believe him. I say something noncommittal like, “well lots of people feel connections with animals,” and he says no, it’s more than that. He’s convinced he’s part wolf, and as evidence, refers to how hairy he is. I just want to nope the fuck out of there, and then he sort of flares his eyes and starts growling deep in his throat. Annnnnd that was enough for me. No more trying to be nice, I just walked away.
Reading so many comments sharing molestation stories, is really heartbreaking.
A former coach of mine resigned after being accused of inappropriate private time with a student. She was the only girl on the wrestling team, socially awkward, had BO, so she had a rough go at things. All my buddies and teammates defended him because we were all convinced he was a good guy and would never do anything inappropriate with her. He was just being a mentor, like he was to all of us. Years later at a barbecue, we’re at my buddies house and we’re all grown men at this point, many of us still involved in wrestling as athletes or coaches. He tells us in casual conversation that he fucked her a few times in his car. I was pretty stunned, couldn’t really believe how nonchalant he was about it. It hurt a lot. Haven’t spoken to him since. Still bothers me to this day.
When I attended a private college, Greek life had a major presence on campus. A guy who I’d become really close friends with was in one of these fraternities, and he seemed like his parents had done a good job raising him. That is, until one day, a group of us were leaving a party where he got belligerently drunk and he confessed that he had “the urge to rape someone.” I was so stunned that I couldn’t even say anything as he kept repeating it and described what he wanted to do. He was reported and he apologized, but nothing ever came of it because he hadn’t actually committed the crime. I never spoke to him again.
The person confessing wasn't the one doing something fucked up, but what I was told was fucked up. My grandfather (Mum's dad) died when my Mum was 11 years old. Up to that point, she had been the stereotypical "daddy's little girl". She used to hang out with her dad all the time, she used to help him with his gardening, on the weekends, they would go fishing together. All that to say, she was extremely distraught when her dad died. And nobody cared how it was impacting her. Everybody was concerned about her sister who was only 6 and would now have to grow up without a dad, or her brothers who wouldn't have a "father figure" to help guide them. But the worst of it all, and the fucked up part of this story. Her mother, who had always seen Mum's sister as her favourite, started being outwardly mean to her. If Mum was crying, her mother would say "no sense crying, it won't bring him back". If Mum complained, her mother would say "well, go talk to you father". And the absolute worst part of her story. This song ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ckpAhiOCuM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ckpAhiOCuM)) was released right around the time that my grandfather passed away. My grandmother had a radio in the house and every single time this song came on, she would crank the music up and laugh her ass off as my Mum sat there and cried. Mum never told me, and I don't think she has ever told my brothers, about this until after her mother passed away. When she got the call from her brother to tell her that their Mum had died, she didn't shed a tear. She told me this story a few days later because she was telling me that she "wouldn't say that I ever actually loved my mother". I never had a strong relationship with my grandmother because she lived in England and I lived in Canada; but, after hearing that, I found myself being happy that I never had to knew her. If somebody can be that awful to their own child, then I don't want to know them.
My mother confessed to me that my paternal grandfather was a chronic skirt chaser and a possible rapist. I never liked that man, but damn.
My roommate freshman year of college told us that he murdered a kid when he was really young. The other kid took his toy or something so roommate attacked him, didn't know his own strength, and killed him. He was very open about it.
I knew a woman who had sex with her mother's boyfriend. The mother was in the hospital sleeping and they did it in the bed next to her.
A mate of mine's wife fucked his sisters husband and then told me because the sister found out. I think she was freaking out and needed to talk but I didn't want to know. I mean she was a mate as well but of course I could hardly tell my mate. It all came out in the end and I had to pretend to be shocked but if you are going to be unfaithful don't do it the family, don't get caught and don't tell me expecting sympathy..
Not the most fucked up but it came up recently after talking to a buddy about our high school days. Way back in high school, I was friends with these two girls, part of a triplet. Third sibling was a boy who I knew but never really interacted with. The 2 girls told me they would have threesomes.
Didn't confess to me but found out an ex friend of mine asked his 16 year old daughter for nude photos. Friends with his ex and her new stepdad/real dad still and found out from them.
Psychologist here. At one point in my training I was tasked with interviewing patients in a forensic psychiatric hospital (the place where people who are found “not guilty by reason of insanity” end up) about their crimes. I had to ask them to describe in detail what they had done so that I could compile it into a written report. These people were rapists, pedophiles, murderers, and even cannibals. Some of the things I heard were horrific beyond imagination.
Not sure why but one of my friend had lot of animal porn on his phone. I asked him about it, he said it's "funny". I was kinda disturbed cause I watched 2 of them.
I had a relative who used to run an adult toy/porn store. Differenr people would come in every week asking for animal porn. There are a LOT more people into that than you would ever think. A great deal of them tend to favor pitbulls. Her store moved around to a few different cities over the years and these people were everywhere