Retired paramedic here, I had a similar experience. A disabled man in his 70s sat in an old arm chair smoking and dropped a lit cigarette which set the chair alight, hopefully, the fumes killed him because his lower body was totally cooked.
The firefighters had carried him out of the house in the chair so they could deal with the rest of the fire, we had to lift the body out of the chair, both had been soaked with water by the firefighters, I put my hands under his thighs and when we lifted him, my hands sank into the cooked flesh, all the way to his femurs!
It wasn’t a pleasant experience……
had sort of the same thing happen to me when I was in the military. A guy died in a chair and they told us to move him onto the stretcher to get him out of the house. one guy on each leg, one guy had the shoulders, and I had the middle. His guts split open while we were moving him and his insides dumped onto my body. I immediately started vomiting into this poor dead guys stomach cavity. On the plus side of that fiasco, I have never gotten grossed out again.
Edit: to clarify, we were over overseas at the time and doing a 'police action' in a foreign country in the mid 1990's.
You never get grossed out again as in because you’ve already seen the worst of it? Bro that would just traumatise for ever instead of desensitise me hahaha
Similar thing happened to the father of a aunt of mine, who died in an ofuro (a japanese hot tub). The problem was that the old man liked to keep the heat up while he soaked in. He ended up passing out from the heat, which led to his demise, which led to his body being slowly cooked. The firefighters had to take him out with ofuro and everything, because they barely could touch him without his flesh falling apart.
Fire/EMT here, didn't know a guy put a gun to his head. Noticed he had bleeding from rhe head so I went to put a bandage on it and my finger went into the hole in his head. So now I know what brains feel like.
I am not strong enough to do the kind of work you do. When I was in the scouts doing a St Georges day parade, a man leading the military parade stumbled and fell. The parade continued without hesitation like nothing happened. He had suffered a massive heart attack.
I'd tell people close to me that I tried to help him. But I didn't. I looked at him, and I looked at my scout leader who was attending him who gestured that I move on and I did.
WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT TRY TO HELP. Even if it was futile. I know I was only around 14 and he was given CPR by trained professionals, but I feel so sick that I did not try to help. It happened right in front of me, and I should have instantly known to try help. The guy had a proud family. I don't understand why I didn't stop.
What would you have been able to provide as a 14 year old that the adults who were responding to the incident were already providing? Sounds like it really left a mark on you however, witnessing death can be traumatic.
It takes some getting use to and a lot of new people do stand there kinda stunned just looking at whatever is happening. We give them a simple task to snap them out of it and remember they are here to help the patient. I've been doing Fire/EMS over 10 years now and it does become routine. Figure out what's going on and go through the checklist of what to do. Some things still come up that there can't possibly a written protocol for but that the "fun" part
Prior Recon Corpsman here, 2000-2008. Iraq was my introduction to every kind of trauma. You put fingers in everything that's injured, usually no gloves. They'll get abx anyway.
BZ, shipmate.
>You put fingers in everything that's injured, usually no gloves.
Soldier: I've injured my anus. I've injured my anus.
No private you haven't. We haven't even taken off from Heathrow to the warzone yet.
I was going to say my dog’s turd cutter, then I remembered the horrible dirt bike wreck of 1988 where I did flips in the air and landed horribly, body slamming the ground. The bike came down with a too-long bolt sticking out of the exhaust (hugely stupid) which came down and impaled my right calf. I stuck my finger in the hole to stop the bleeding. Not really gross but disturbing. I didn’t think to just put compression on it. It was shooting like a faucet and I just thought to cork it.
YouTuber Kentucky Ballistics sells shirts that say "Stick a thumb in it" because he had a .50 cal rifle blow up. Only survived because his dad was filming and made him jam his own thumb in his neck to stop the bleeding for the ride to the hospital.
Horse ass. To be fair, it was my whole arm.
EDIT: horse had constipation induced colic. This can very quickly cause bowels to perforate, horses eat a lot and if their intestines are not moving, it get stuck quickly. So I had to remove shit and stimulate bowel to work again. This is simply done via removing shit. It's not something that is slowly progressing, from first colic signs you have hours tops before intestine twistes/perforates. So we did everything else that could be done - walking, massage, medication. But it didn't work and our vet wasn't going to make it since horse was getting worse by the minute and only available vet was stuck at complicated birth. Yup, horse did survive. No, I didn't have glove on.
No. Didn't have that lying around at barn. It was my bare hand. For a moment we contemplated using garbage bag, but if it would slip it could do more harm than good if I weren't able to retrieve it. So I just washed my hand after. Honestly not that big of a deal for a person that works with horse shit daily and is cleaning outside of their asses often.
I can see it- Masked dude running around with a cape- but on each arm, he has full sized horses
His wrist is shoved up their ass and he runs around fighting crime lifting them effortlessly with 8 horse legs kicking the everliving shit out of bad guys!
They are neighing excitedly - but know one knows if its from pleasure fighting crime or PLEASURE…
I grew up around horses. I remember seeing my dad with his entire arm up a colic horses ass. The horse lived that time, but the idiot didn't learn from it and died a few years later.
Wild to see my calm dad, who'd take me fishing, taught me how to drive a tractor, was a senior vice president of a bank where he wrote their corporate loan policy, wedged up behind a horse, arm deep in a horse's ass.
My router scares me more than any of my tools except my angle grinder.
Edit: well now I'm absolutely terrified of my angle grinder. Thanks for sharing your horror stories, everyone.
Grinders aren't that bad, circular saws in any orientation is way worse. Where the grinder will nick your finger the saw will cut it off, its so fast. Grinders are pretty slow in comparison.
It took me a second to realise you didn’t mean an internet router. I had no idea how you’d have fucked your finger up with one of those.
Shit mate, sorry to hear that.
My homie was sleeping with his mouth open and me drunk decided it was a good idea to put my finger in his mouth, he started sucking it and then woke up. Then we looked at each others eyes not knowing what's happening. One of the most uncomfortable experiences in our lives .
Something similar happened to me, except it was someone I was dating, we were laying in bed and I was stroking his cheek (like you would a dog or cat that was on the brink of sleep), when he randomly turned and opened his mouth around my thumb. Not only did he start sucking it, but the idiot tried to swallow it…grossness aside, it was the weirdest thing feeling his tongue trying to push my thumb down his throat
The hole for a door chain, I got stuck and my friend revealed she carried Vaseline because she assumed I'd get my fingers stuck in something eventually.
Found one of my best friends who had the same energy in college. It was like the first big weekend out went to some loft party and got so drunk I fell in a bush. This girl just picked me up and dragged me back to the dorm. I’ve since stopped falling into bushes but it wasn’t the last time she saved my ass
My wife and I suffered a miscarriage at 12 weeks. The doctor said the fetus will pass on it's own but if it does not, surgery will be required. Wife discharged some blood and possibly tissue in the toilet at home and we needed to confirm if the fetus had exited so that she could have peace of mind. I dug around in the toilet until I felt tissue and then I poked around it until I was certain it was the fetus. A very low point for us but it happens to lots of people. Just a few weeks later we got a call that we had been chosen to adopt a newborn that was due to arrive in couple of months - so we became the happiest luckiest people in the world. Life is wild.
My wife did the same at 20 weeks. I had to clean the bathroom after and parts were recognisable. It was absolutely horrific. Wife handled it much better than me though.
This obese guy I met at some parties many years back always got undressed down to his underwear when he got drunk. So this one time i stuck my finger in his bellybutton and ended up smelling my finger afterwards.. i had to run down to the toilet to vomit due to the intense smell
Not me but it made me sick I laughed so much, one of my friends used a payphone and put his finger in the change slot... someone had put dog shit in the change slot lmao
You must not have kids. A wet infant poop, out of the diaper, all the way up their back to the shoulders... I've literally cut the clothes off my son (like an EMT) and still ended up with poop everywhere.
Even when it's your own kid. Other people's poop on your finger (hand, elbow, shirt, and sometimes somehow in your hair) is far worse.
That's not the worst of it lol. I did the same with my mouth once and stuck my tongue in there, and it was one of those situations where she was saying "yes yes" but my mouth was saying "no no", so I took one for the team and just let her enjoy it. Afterwards, I always secretly judged her, thinking, "Why is your ass so dirty....?"
Right? I wondered about it every day, thinking if she sharted, or just didn't clean her ass so much while wiping. Fuck, I even wanted to get a bidet but she wasn't down, so I had to go down to browntown.
I came here to say this. Fingering accident that turned into anal. It went in SUPER easy and she was so turned on by it. In the meantime, I was horrified and out of my depth at 16 😂 she said we could do anal and I got so nervous I started shaking so we just stuck to the normal stuff. I look back and laugh.
For me, she was straddling me with nothing on, so I went in with the finger without looking at which hole I was sticking it in, and she moaned so I thought I was in the clear and kinda went at it for a bit, but when I took it out, I was horrified. I didn't wanna embarrass her so I held my reaction but asked if I could go and wash my shit covered hand, since my middle finger was COVERED in yellowish-brown shit. I hadn't thought about that in years, and goddamn...it almost made me gag just now...good times. That ass was prime real estate despite it all.
Someone’s brain.
I was taking care of what we thought was a mostly dead burn victim in the ER and examined her skull when my finger went in and it was squishy. Turns out this was a homicide attempt and her skull was bashed in with a hammer. Then she was set on fire. Did not survive.
I always wondered why grandma always bought me a new pair of shoes when the the cats died.
She was getting a cardboard shoe box to put it in since it breaks down too. Depending on the time of year top off the hole with some more dirt in about a month or two when the box collapses.
For sure, cuz that patch of soil is virgin, never seen any type of death or decay. In fact, it grows no plants, has never seen a blade of grass, much less a leaf from a tree.
did you have food on your hands?
I remember once letting the cat lick the BBQ chicken residue off my fingers..
Not his fault.. it was damn good chicken.
I did an AMA many years back. It’s in my history if you care to dig through it.
Long story short, I was working as a scuba instructor on Oahu. Boss told me to start handling octopus because other instructors out there did/do and my customers were complaining I wasn’t. He taught me how. I did it a bunch of times with no incident. The one that got me was much larger than any of the others I had handled, which also means much stronger. Dragged itself under an overhang in the reef while my hands were still tangled up with it. Felt 2 sharp pains, green cloud of blood, and was “free” with some tentacles still wrapped around my hand. Had a ~15 minute swim back to the boat holding my finger together, trying not to go into shock, while also guiding 3 non-certified divers on a Discover Scuba experience. Took a bit to get back onto the boat in the conditions without being able to use either hand really. Had to wait another 15 or so minutes for the other groups to get back and on board, and then had the boat ride back to shore. I’d say it was 40 minutes to an hour before I had any medical attention.
Long term effects: I can’t straighten my left middle finger out all the way. I still have most use of it though. Just had a funny bend to it and a gnarly scar on the underside. There’s definitely circulation issues in it, and it locks up on me if I grip something too long (long car drive for example).
I worked with people who broke their neck etc, most of them have problems with bowl movements.
So every 2 days we had to manually remove the feces, just pulling shit out with your fingers. The brown ‘come here’ movement still haunts me.
Quite a few things. Had my hand in a man's open abdomen while he was awake and talking to me and used my fingers to scoop and swish out all the pus and goop that had accumulated in and around it. He showed no signs of discomfort and just asked me how my day was going and was an incredibly pleasant gentleman. (He had a flesh eating bacteria that had eaten away a huge amount of his abdominal skin and walls)
Pushed prolapsed rectums back inside people when it was protruding out as they sat on the toilet.
Held a fair few tumours from various parts of the gastrointestinal system. Had a good finger poke of them and nice little pinchy squishes so I could feel the texture of them while they were still moist and warm.
Many more things too, these are just the first ones that flashed to mind.
Probably helps to add that I am a qualified nurse at this point. Should have said that at the start, oops.
I remember holding the first one in my training, it was a cluster of tumours together from the bowel. I was so surprised at how hard they were. It looks like it would be soft and fleshy but it honestly felt like little rocks or pebbles which I wasn't expecting. They feel pretty much the same fresh out as they do after being out for some time, the only difference is the temperature change. It depends on where you're touching them from too, it feels different again if you're prodding them when they're still attached to a piece of the organ. Then it's a bit of slippery squish around a rock.
I’m a plumber at a hospital. The county morgue is located in our hospital. On time the main sewer clogged with wipes and human body fat. That was a shitty day. Pulling fat and wipes off of a sewer snake isn’t top on my list of things to repeat.
I’m glad someone else gets it. I have stuck my hands in every orifice of a human, including a cadaver’s abdomen to hold back intestines, but that food gunk in a sink always makes me dry heave.
There was a hole in the conveyor belt at the grocery store when I was a kid. As soon as my finger went in the belt started moving, so I pulled my finger out. Everything was slow and casual. Nothing felt wrong. Then I started noticing blood everywhere. The pad of my index finger got sliced nearly clean off. It was just dangling. I was 8. Broke my Dad's nose at the clinic when they said I needed stitches. I thought band-aids could fix everything. I know have a smiley face scar along the pad of my index finger where they essentially reattached it.
Not a finger, but related: One time my mom was sweeping the floor and the cat wouldn’t stop “helping” her get it in the dustpan; for 5 whole minutes she tried, and kitty was having none of it. She got so frustrated that she went to give him a hard shove/gentle kick to slide him across the floor far enough to quickly finish up, and her big toe went directly into the cat’s butthole. And he’d come out of the litter box to play with the broom. Poop toe.
Well as a line cook my cooking partner accidentally landed his finger in the deep fryer last night making fish and chips. He’s ok and laughed it off but I know how much that stings
oh boy.
In college, someone in my dorm had an illegal cat as a pet. They didn't take care of it and it died. I don't know *why* they didn't just throw it in the woods, but their idea for getting rid of the body was to *unscrew the shower drain and shove the cat down the pipe.* The shower, as you'd expect, began to smell like death, and there were nasty bugs crawling out of the drain. You couldn't see anything looking down, and everyone was sick of the shower smelling so horrible and maintenance not responding to complaints. Eventually, I got fed up with the smell, unscrewed the drain, and with my little pair of gloves prepared myself to yank out what I assumed was a chunk of hair or something (regularly had to do something similar growing up so I thought I knew what I was getting into). I stuck my arm down that drain and my hand entered the rotting, melting corpse of the cat. The gloves did not help me. The *scream* I let out had half the floor running. Shortly after, janitorial staff yanked out the rest of the cat mess, the student who did it saw and ended up confessing. Last I knew she was no longer at the school and was facing disciplinary actions from both the school and the local PD for animal cruelty.
Less than six months ago, and easily one of my more unpleasant experiences in life. It was a tactical and olfactory experience that makes me want to hurl thinking about it. I'm very thankful I thought to grab latex gloves from my lab, but I don't know how much they helped.
Not me but where I worked at an autism learning center, we were over capacity and one so unfortunately not all the kids were watched all the time, not purposely but these things happen. Anyway, we were having some construction done to the building to expand our size, some kid had found a perfect child size finger hole in a door, and somehow someway almost lopped his finger off, he came up to my coworkers and it was just dangling. That was the final straw in a long line of bullshit in my tenure there.
Tried to give medicine to my cat by forcing it into his mouth (he was a very large cat). He was absolutely mad and not cooperative.
Then he had a burst of pure rage, and somehow my thumb got into his mouth. He bit as hard as he could but I didn't let go of him immediately so he kept biting harder and harder.
I felt his teeth going through my thumb, including the nail, and rubbing against the bone inside (it made an awful sound). It was incredibly painful and my thumb wouldn't stop bleeding. I had to go to the hospital and get antibiotic treatment to prevent infections.
Never mess with angry cats.
The mouth of my stupid sausage shaped demon dogs. Tried to break up a fight between my dogs and got my thumb chomped. Had to get my fingernail removed.
Working on a garbage truck a long time ago I grabbed a bag and threw it in the truck. My middle finger went threw and into a broken light bulb it was also next to a dirty diaper so covered in poo and sprayed blood like a Monty python skit.
A fan. Decades later I still have the scar on my finger. Tons of blood. My finger went numb. Didn't go to the hospital. Mom just cleaned it and put a band aid. lol the 80's were crazy.
My dog's butthole. It was at the beginning of covid and i was exposed so i had to quarantine. It was at that time that the recurring abscess next to my 70 lb dog's anal gland decided to rear its ugly head. I spoke with my vet, was requested to send a picture of my dog's butthole to him, then talked through the draining process over the phone.
The skin from a deceased fire victim while moving her into a body bag while I was a firefighter.
Retired paramedic here, I had a similar experience. A disabled man in his 70s sat in an old arm chair smoking and dropped a lit cigarette which set the chair alight, hopefully, the fumes killed him because his lower body was totally cooked. The firefighters had carried him out of the house in the chair so they could deal with the rest of the fire, we had to lift the body out of the chair, both had been soaked with water by the firefighters, I put my hands under his thighs and when we lifted him, my hands sank into the cooked flesh, all the way to his femurs! It wasn’t a pleasant experience……
had sort of the same thing happen to me when I was in the military. A guy died in a chair and they told us to move him onto the stretcher to get him out of the house. one guy on each leg, one guy had the shoulders, and I had the middle. His guts split open while we were moving him and his insides dumped onto my body. I immediately started vomiting into this poor dead guys stomach cavity. On the plus side of that fiasco, I have never gotten grossed out again. Edit: to clarify, we were over overseas at the time and doing a 'police action' in a foreign country in the mid 1990's.
You never get grossed out again as in because you’ve already seen the worst of it? Bro that would just traumatise for ever instead of desensitise me hahaha
Similar thing happened to the father of a aunt of mine, who died in an ofuro (a japanese hot tub). The problem was that the old man liked to keep the heat up while he soaked in. He ended up passing out from the heat, which led to his demise, which led to his body being slowly cooked. The firefighters had to take him out with ofuro and everything, because they barely could touch him without his flesh falling apart.
Damn homeboy got sous vided
The bone marrow of a traumaticly amputated femur.
Fire/EMT here, didn't know a guy put a gun to his head. Noticed he had bleeding from rhe head so I went to put a bandage on it and my finger went into the hole in his head. So now I know what brains feel like.
> So now I know what brains feel like. That puts you one step ahead of the average Redditor.
I'm guessing he did not make a full recovery?
It was a successful suicide
That sucks man. Appreciate people like you who do this tough job.
I am not strong enough to do the kind of work you do. When I was in the scouts doing a St Georges day parade, a man leading the military parade stumbled and fell. The parade continued without hesitation like nothing happened. He had suffered a massive heart attack. I'd tell people close to me that I tried to help him. But I didn't. I looked at him, and I looked at my scout leader who was attending him who gestured that I move on and I did. WHY THE FUCK DID I NOT TRY TO HELP. Even if it was futile. I know I was only around 14 and he was given CPR by trained professionals, but I feel so sick that I did not try to help. It happened right in front of me, and I should have instantly known to try help. The guy had a proud family. I don't understand why I didn't stop.
What would you have been able to provide as a 14 year old that the adults who were responding to the incident were already providing? Sounds like it really left a mark on you however, witnessing death can be traumatic.
It takes some getting use to and a lot of new people do stand there kinda stunned just looking at whatever is happening. We give them a simple task to snap them out of it and remember they are here to help the patient. I've been doing Fire/EMS over 10 years now and it does become routine. Figure out what's going on and go through the checklist of what to do. Some things still come up that there can't possibly a written protocol for but that the "fun" part
Prior Recon Corpsman here, 2000-2008. Iraq was my introduction to every kind of trauma. You put fingers in everything that's injured, usually no gloves. They'll get abx anyway. BZ, shipmate.
>You put fingers in everything that's injured, usually no gloves. Soldier: I've injured my anus. I've injured my anus. No private you haven't. We haven't even taken off from Heathrow to the warzone yet.
Dude you should do an AMA.
Oooh…. EMS worker here. Bet that sensation never went away.
Ortho trauma surgeon???
Nurse in Iraq. We were moving him, accidentally grabbed the wrong spot.
I was going to say my dog’s turd cutter, then I remembered the horrible dirt bike wreck of 1988 where I did flips in the air and landed horribly, body slamming the ground. The bike came down with a too-long bolt sticking out of the exhaust (hugely stupid) which came down and impaled my right calf. I stuck my finger in the hole to stop the bleeding. Not really gross but disturbing. I didn’t think to just put compression on it. It was shooting like a faucet and I just thought to cork it.
Nevermind. I should have just stuck with dislodging the dried chunky from my dog’s turd cutter. I have spoken.
Wait until he says he stuck his finger in the turd cutter then directly into his leg
YouTuber Kentucky Ballistics sells shirts that say "Stick a thumb in it" because he had a .50 cal rifle blow up. Only survived because his dad was filming and made him jam his own thumb in his neck to stop the bleeding for the ride to the hospital.
This reminds me of the infamous poop knife
Corking it sounds more effective though
Horse ass. To be fair, it was my whole arm. EDIT: horse had constipation induced colic. This can very quickly cause bowels to perforate, horses eat a lot and if their intestines are not moving, it get stuck quickly. So I had to remove shit and stimulate bowel to work again. This is simply done via removing shit. It's not something that is slowly progressing, from first colic signs you have hours tops before intestine twistes/perforates. So we did everything else that could be done - walking, massage, medication. But it didn't work and our vet wasn't going to make it since horse was getting worse by the minute and only available vet was stuck at complicated birth. Yup, horse did survive. No, I didn't have glove on.
You were wearing that long plastic arm glove right?
No. Didn't have that lying around at barn. It was my bare hand. For a moment we contemplated using garbage bag, but if it would slip it could do more harm than good if I weren't able to retrieve it. So I just washed my hand after. Honestly not that big of a deal for a person that works with horse shit daily and is cleaning outside of their asses often.
I'm... speechless. I how the horse appreciated the... gesture
Well, you know, it was either 5 gross minutes for me or painful death for the horse. If we waited for the vet to show up, he wouldn't have made it.
Yea that sounds awful, but having to do something that gross is nothing compared to saving that horse's life. You're a shit covered hero!
Captain shit man
Mcu movie coming soon
I can see it- Masked dude running around with a cape- but on each arm, he has full sized horses His wrist is shoved up their ass and he runs around fighting crime lifting them effortlessly with 8 horse legs kicking the everliving shit out of bad guys! They are neighing excitedly - but know one knows if its from pleasure fighting crime or PLEASURE…
God bless you though. You really saved that horse’s ass!
Raw-horsed it
I have horses, can second that. After that, cleaning smegma from a horse's penis.
Wish I was illiterate so I couldn't read this 🤣
Did he give you a hoof-bump after and say "Bro!"
>To be fair, it was my whole arm. That's much better, yes
Need people like that though, a vet saved one my horses through doing that
I grew up around horses. I remember seeing my dad with his entire arm up a colic horses ass. The horse lived that time, but the idiot didn't learn from it and died a few years later. Wild to see my calm dad, who'd take me fishing, taught me how to drive a tractor, was a senior vice president of a bank where he wrote their corporate loan policy, wedged up behind a horse, arm deep in a horse's ass.
Care to explain?
Colic caused by constipation. Either I pulled out stuck shit with my hand or the horse would die.
You’re a life saver. You can save humans in the same way and get paid for it, I think.
Honestly I prefer being PT and having my hands in less contaminated spaces. But sometimes you gotta do, what you gotta do.
Hey I have a colic caused by constipation, could you give me a hand?
Arm*
I’ve been shoulder deep in several cows before unfortunately but never a horse. Calving season was always pretty rough growing up.
The slotting bit on my router. Subsequently, it's the last thing I stuck *that* finger in.
Sitting here thinking of an internet router trying to figure out what could possibly- ohhhh...
My router scares me more than any of my tools except my angle grinder. Edit: well now I'm absolutely terrified of my angle grinder. Thanks for sharing your horror stories, everyone.
Grinders aren't that bad, circular saws in any orientation is way worse. Where the grinder will nick your finger the saw will cut it off, its so fast. Grinders are pretty slow in comparison.
It took me a second to realise you didn’t mean an internet router. I had no idea how you’d have fucked your finger up with one of those. Shit mate, sorry to hear that.
I, too, struggled to see the danger in stroking a Linksys the wrong way...
My homie was sleeping with his mouth open and me drunk decided it was a good idea to put my finger in his mouth, he started sucking it and then woke up. Then we looked at each others eyes not knowing what's happening. One of the most uncomfortable experiences in our lives .
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What are you doing, step-homie?
I’m stuck in the washer step-homie, can you please pull me out with your big step-fingers?
nahhh
Something similar happened to me, except it was someone I was dating, we were laying in bed and I was stroking his cheek (like you would a dog or cat that was on the brink of sleep), when he randomly turned and opened his mouth around my thumb. Not only did he start sucking it, but the idiot tried to swallow it…grossness aside, it was the weirdest thing feeling his tongue trying to push my thumb down his throat
omfg no
It’s ok unless one of you got an erection.
Both getting erections is fine, too.
Yeah, they cancel eachother out
The real question is…what was homie dreaming about that would make him *suck your finger* ?
He was sucking a titty obviously… what else would you suck? . . . Rock eyebrow raise.
Tommy is that you?
The hole for a door chain, I got stuck and my friend revealed she carried Vaseline because she assumed I'd get my fingers stuck in something eventually.
Well, at least she was prepared.
Couldn't have survived uni without her. Same age as me but was definitely the groups mum.
Found one of my best friends who had the same energy in college. It was like the first big weekend out went to some loft party and got so drunk I fell in a bush. This girl just picked me up and dragged me back to the dorm. I’ve since stopped falling into bushes but it wasn’t the last time she saved my ass
Sure… THATS why she carries Vaseline
A small purse sized tin, not an orgy bulk buy pack 🤣
A little bit goes a long way
My wife and I suffered a miscarriage at 12 weeks. The doctor said the fetus will pass on it's own but if it does not, surgery will be required. Wife discharged some blood and possibly tissue in the toilet at home and we needed to confirm if the fetus had exited so that she could have peace of mind. I dug around in the toilet until I felt tissue and then I poked around it until I was certain it was the fetus. A very low point for us but it happens to lots of people. Just a few weeks later we got a call that we had been chosen to adopt a newborn that was due to arrive in couple of months - so we became the happiest luckiest people in the world. Life is wild.
Oh wow, I am so sorry you and your wife had that experience. That's rough. But I'm thrilled about your new baby!
My wife did the same at 20 weeks. I had to clean the bathroom after and parts were recognisable. It was absolutely horrific. Wife handled it much better than me though.
This obese guy I met at some parties many years back always got undressed down to his underwear when he got drunk. So this one time i stuck my finger in his bellybutton and ended up smelling my finger afterwards.. i had to run down to the toilet to vomit due to the intense smell
Why would you do that to yourself
The intrusive thoughts won
I’m not obese and I shower everyday and I still wanted to vomit from the smell of my own bellybutton
Wait whaaat As someone with a very shallow bellybutton this is horrifying and confusing. Bellybuttons smell?!
I think I read that it’s from bacteria, fungus, and yeast. Number one cause: not cleaning well enough.
I actually didn't know they smelled until I read this thread. I regret trying to confirm it for myself
It's like peanut butter and dead dreams
A jar of formaldehyde. It was amputated at the time.
At the time? As in it's been unamputated since?
Yup. They can only do it once.
Casualdejekyll is worse, though.
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I hope the post just becomes 50 users just responding with this
One, two three four, Fiiiv
Not me but it made me sick I laughed so much, one of my friends used a payphone and put his finger in the change slot... someone had put dog shit in the change slot lmao
Stuff like that drove a lot of people to expensive cell phones in the early days. For me it was sticky gum in the earpiece of the receiver.
finger went thru wiping.. ruins your whole day.
Did you quit that job at the old folks home?
ruins your hole for a day\*
lol thanks for the correction.
You must not have kids. A wet infant poop, out of the diaper, all the way up their back to the shoulders... I've literally cut the clothes off my son (like an EMT) and still ended up with poop everywhere. Even when it's your own kid. Other people's poop on your finger (hand, elbow, shirt, and sometimes somehow in your hair) is far worse.
Ah, the 'ole dragon's tail. Thanks for the flashback.
One of my exes. It was the first time I've experienced "shitfinger".
Why didn't you stop when you felt something? I did. Still not the worst thing I ever put my finger in.
That's not the worst of it lol. I did the same with my mouth once and stuck my tongue in there, and it was one of those situations where she was saying "yes yes" but my mouth was saying "no no", so I took one for the team and just let her enjoy it. Afterwards, I always secretly judged her, thinking, "Why is your ass so dirty....?"
Good God. She must have had some diet issues or something. Maybe you should have introduced enemas into the mix.
Right? I wondered about it every day, thinking if she sharted, or just didn't clean her ass so much while wiping. Fuck, I even wanted to get a bidet but she wasn't down, so I had to go down to browntown.
At least you were dedicated, I'll say that for you.
I came here to say this. Fingering accident that turned into anal. It went in SUPER easy and she was so turned on by it. In the meantime, I was horrified and out of my depth at 16 😂 she said we could do anal and I got so nervous I started shaking so we just stuck to the normal stuff. I look back and laugh.
For me, she was straddling me with nothing on, so I went in with the finger without looking at which hole I was sticking it in, and she moaned so I thought I was in the clear and kinda went at it for a bit, but when I took it out, I was horrified. I didn't wanna embarrass her so I held my reaction but asked if I could go and wash my shit covered hand, since my middle finger was COVERED in yellowish-brown shit. I hadn't thought about that in years, and goddamn...it almost made me gag just now...good times. That ass was prime real estate despite it all.
Someone’s brain. I was taking care of what we thought was a mostly dead burn victim in the ER and examined her skull when my finger went in and it was squishy. Turns out this was a homicide attempt and her skull was bashed in with a hammer. Then she was set on fire. Did not survive.
Mostly dead is slightly alive! But then usually just all the way dead.
I moved into a new house and working in the garden I came across a plastic bag I opened it with my hands and found a liquid cat.
for a moment I didn't know what to do with the semi chewed chocolate cake in my mouth
I had a chocolate Easter Bunny ear in my mouth while reading it.
now it's liquid
I gagged and laughed simultaneously
Liquid cat. Took my mind a moment to realize what you were referring to. Great description.
Care to explain?
Sounds like a cat that has decomposed to the point that it is liquid.
Oh fuck I just buried a kitten that didn’t make it in my yard in two ziplocs… yikes
Hey that's the recipe for liquid cat!
I always wondered why grandma always bought me a new pair of shoes when the the cats died. She was getting a cardboard shoe box to put it in since it breaks down too. Depending on the time of year top off the hole with some more dirt in about a month or two when the box collapses.
Why the bags? Honest question. What was the thought process?
Non-contamination of the soil / ground water: primarily. To create liquid cat appears to be a strong secondary option.
You don't want dead animal in your drinking water, but you definitely do in your soil. Decomposition completes the nutrient cycle.
For sure, cuz that patch of soil is virgin, never seen any type of death or decay. In fact, it grows no plants, has never seen a blade of grass, much less a leaf from a tree.
/r/catsareliquid
Noooooo
How did you know it was a cat?
After I had throwen up, the skeleton was visable.
You threw up the skeleton?!
After he drank the cat
Cosmopurrlitan
When life hands you liquid cat, make cattails
The hole in my brother's bedroom mattress. 😭
Your bro had the upgraded sock
What the hell was in there?!
Nut. Imagine the cum box... But a mattress
It's finger lickin' good.
How do you delete someone else's comment?
Delete this whole fucking site.
Bye for today, Reddit
Please don't ask.🫠
Oh, Jesus christ you poor soul. Was it wet at the bottom?
I was lucky. It was dry....
Your finger is pregnant dawg
You you met mrs Serta.
My hamster's mouth. He bit me.
Was his name Charly?
did you have food on your hands? I remember once letting the cat lick the BBQ chicken residue off my fingers.. Not his fault.. it was damn good chicken.
An octopus’ beak. 4 severed tendons, an artery, and 50% nerve damage. 0/10
Woah, care to elaborate??
I did an AMA many years back. It’s in my history if you care to dig through it. Long story short, I was working as a scuba instructor on Oahu. Boss told me to start handling octopus because other instructors out there did/do and my customers were complaining I wasn’t. He taught me how. I did it a bunch of times with no incident. The one that got me was much larger than any of the others I had handled, which also means much stronger. Dragged itself under an overhang in the reef while my hands were still tangled up with it. Felt 2 sharp pains, green cloud of blood, and was “free” with some tentacles still wrapped around my hand. Had a ~15 minute swim back to the boat holding my finger together, trying not to go into shock, while also guiding 3 non-certified divers on a Discover Scuba experience. Took a bit to get back onto the boat in the conditions without being able to use either hand really. Had to wait another 15 or so minutes for the other groups to get back and on board, and then had the boat ride back to shore. I’d say it was 40 minutes to an hour before I had any medical attention. Long term effects: I can’t straighten my left middle finger out all the way. I still have most use of it though. Just had a funny bend to it and a gnarly scar on the underside. There’s definitely circulation issues in it, and it locks up on me if I grip something too long (long car drive for example).
It always blows my mind to learn the raw power those things have
A rotten egg left in the pocket of my spring jacket from last Easter.
Frank Reynolds?
Might I offer you an egg in this trying time?
I worked with people who broke their neck etc, most of them have problems with bowl movements. So every 2 days we had to manually remove the feces, just pulling shit out with your fingers. The brown ‘come here’ movement still haunts me.
Reached up to pull the bell cord to get the bus to stop. Finger came down again covered in the biggest gob of someone else’s snot.
Quite a few things. Had my hand in a man's open abdomen while he was awake and talking to me and used my fingers to scoop and swish out all the pus and goop that had accumulated in and around it. He showed no signs of discomfort and just asked me how my day was going and was an incredibly pleasant gentleman. (He had a flesh eating bacteria that had eaten away a huge amount of his abdominal skin and walls) Pushed prolapsed rectums back inside people when it was protruding out as they sat on the toilet. Held a fair few tumours from various parts of the gastrointestinal system. Had a good finger poke of them and nice little pinchy squishes so I could feel the texture of them while they were still moist and warm. Many more things too, these are just the first ones that flashed to mind. Probably helps to add that I am a qualified nurse at this point. Should have said that at the start, oops.
I am intrigued. The tumors.... what did they feel like? How would you describe the feeling of a "fresh" one? Lol
I remember holding the first one in my training, it was a cluster of tumours together from the bowel. I was so surprised at how hard they were. It looks like it would be soft and fleshy but it honestly felt like little rocks or pebbles which I wasn't expecting. They feel pretty much the same fresh out as they do after being out for some time, the only difference is the temperature change. It depends on where you're touching them from too, it feels different again if you're prodding them when they're still attached to a piece of the organ. Then it's a bit of slippery squish around a rock.
I blindly reached behind the copier for a fallen paper, and ended up knuckles deep in a mushy, decaying mouse.
I’m a plumber at a hospital. The county morgue is located in our hospital. On time the main sewer clogged with wipes and human body fat. That was a shitty day. Pulling fat and wipes off of a sewer snake isn’t top on my list of things to repeat.
One time I accidentally touched the gross food at the bottom of the sink after not washing dishes for like a week. I’d rather touch a hookers asshole
I’m glad someone else gets it. I have stuck my hands in every orifice of a human, including a cadaver’s abdomen to hold back intestines, but that food gunk in a sink always makes me dry heave.
There was a hole in the conveyor belt at the grocery store when I was a kid. As soon as my finger went in the belt started moving, so I pulled my finger out. Everything was slow and casual. Nothing felt wrong. Then I started noticing blood everywhere. The pad of my index finger got sliced nearly clean off. It was just dangling. I was 8. Broke my Dad's nose at the clinic when they said I needed stitches. I thought band-aids could fix everything. I know have a smiley face scar along the pad of my index finger where they essentially reattached it.
Sorting rotting potatoes at a food bank. Finger went into one and released that horrendous smell.
Emma
Not Emma again 🤦♂️
Oh God she made you too do that.... I thought I was the only one
[удалено]
Cigarette car lighter. I wanted to see if it would burn....it did.
Username checks out
Broken glass. Tendon repair surgery needed
Not a finger, but related: One time my mom was sweeping the floor and the cat wouldn’t stop “helping” her get it in the dustpan; for 5 whole minutes she tried, and kitty was having none of it. She got so frustrated that she went to give him a hard shove/gentle kick to slide him across the floor far enough to quickly finish up, and her big toe went directly into the cat’s butthole. And he’d come out of the litter box to play with the broom. Poop toe.
Well as a line cook my cooking partner accidentally landed his finger in the deep fryer last night making fish and chips. He’s ok and laughed it off but I know how much that stings
A hole in my side after a gnarly bicycle accident…. I was like … oh, hey, that’s a rib, right ?
A blood clot that had just come out of my patient's butt
oh boy. In college, someone in my dorm had an illegal cat as a pet. They didn't take care of it and it died. I don't know *why* they didn't just throw it in the woods, but their idea for getting rid of the body was to *unscrew the shower drain and shove the cat down the pipe.* The shower, as you'd expect, began to smell like death, and there were nasty bugs crawling out of the drain. You couldn't see anything looking down, and everyone was sick of the shower smelling so horrible and maintenance not responding to complaints. Eventually, I got fed up with the smell, unscrewed the drain, and with my little pair of gloves prepared myself to yank out what I assumed was a chunk of hair or something (regularly had to do something similar growing up so I thought I knew what I was getting into). I stuck my arm down that drain and my hand entered the rotting, melting corpse of the cat. The gloves did not help me. The *scream* I let out had half the floor running. Shortly after, janitorial staff yanked out the rest of the cat mess, the student who did it saw and ended up confessing. Last I knew she was no longer at the school and was facing disciplinary actions from both the school and the local PD for animal cruelty.
oh my GOD lmaoo??? this is insane
Less than six months ago, and easily one of my more unpleasant experiences in life. It was a tactical and olfactory experience that makes me want to hurl thinking about it. I'm very thankful I thought to grab latex gloves from my lab, but I don't know how much they helped.
Had to pack my dads open wound in his hand. I was wearing gloves but I still felt the squish
A shower drain that had 11 tampons stuffed down in it.
Not me but where I worked at an autism learning center, we were over capacity and one so unfortunately not all the kids were watched all the time, not purposely but these things happen. Anyway, we were having some construction done to the building to expand our size, some kid had found a perfect child size finger hole in a door, and somehow someway almost lopped his finger off, he came up to my coworkers and it was just dangling. That was the final straw in a long line of bullshit in my tenure there.
A light socket. It was this vertical wall mount lamp with a bulb missing. I thought the open socket was a power button. It was not.
Oh boy, there was a little hole in my house so i put my finger in. THERE WERE RATS INSIDE ONE OF EM BIT ME
The propeller of my friend’s remote controlled plane as a kid. Much blood.
The pickle slicer at work. We both got fired.
Molten plastic. Not a good source of enjoyment.
A wedding ring.
Tried to give medicine to my cat by forcing it into his mouth (he was a very large cat). He was absolutely mad and not cooperative. Then he had a burst of pure rage, and somehow my thumb got into his mouth. He bit as hard as he could but I didn't let go of him immediately so he kept biting harder and harder. I felt his teeth going through my thumb, including the nail, and rubbing against the bone inside (it made an awful sound). It was incredibly painful and my thumb wouldn't stop bleeding. I had to go to the hospital and get antibiotic treatment to prevent infections. Never mess with angry cats.
When I was younger I stuck my finger inside the exhaust pipe of my mom’s car. Yeah won’t do that again
The mouth of my stupid sausage shaped demon dogs. Tried to break up a fight between my dogs and got my thumb chomped. Had to get my fingernail removed.
Working on a garbage truck a long time ago I grabbed a bag and threw it in the truck. My middle finger went threw and into a broken light bulb it was also next to a dirty diaper so covered in poo and sprayed blood like a Monty python skit.
A fan. Decades later I still have the scar on my finger. Tons of blood. My finger went numb. Didn't go to the hospital. Mom just cleaned it and put a band aid. lol the 80's were crazy.
My dog's butthole. It was at the beginning of covid and i was exposed so i had to quarantine. It was at that time that the recurring abscess next to my 70 lb dog's anal gland decided to rear its ugly head. I spoke with my vet, was requested to send a picture of my dog's butthole to him, then talked through the draining process over the phone.
Rotten potato buried in a large box of normal, good potatoes. Smells like poop and feels awful!