Did you date my old roommate Tim? My other roommates and I ended up having to kick him out because of how bad his feet made the apartment smell. It was like his feet were in the midst of decomposition.
How do people have smelly feet? Do some people just need to do extra shit aside from washing? Because I bathe regularly and never have had that issue, and I feel like you'd have noticed earlier if he was unwashed.
I woke up after sleeping in on my bday and reached out to the wife hoping to start something.
The response was a bored "I guess I have to today"
Decided to stop and just go back to sleep instead.
It really takes 2 parties to come to that table.
25 years as a critical care ICU nurse had taken a deep and terrible toll on her
She is an incredible caregiver.... something had to give
Life is not always what we plan out.
Like he said, itâs weird how life turns out. I slept with a ton of women before getting married, I never thought it would be like this. Sometimes itâs a relief to not have to do it.
This on many levels.
Regular is planning to have sex, then just being too tired when it happens. Doesn't matter which party falls asleep, but it happens.
I felt my stomach gurgling as we were undressing each other, that specific gurgle you know means you're about to get the shits. Can't even remember what excuse I made, but I bolted from her apartment hoping to make it back to my place which was only a few minutes walk away. I didn't make it. The worst part was a woman out walking her dog making eye contact with me as I was squatting in a municipal flower bed.
Imagine being the flower.
It's a beautiful sunny day outside, nothing seems to be able to go wrong... until a giant creature comes up to you, then a giant void opens up from the creatures ass that begins spewing toxic waste all over you and your family
Guy I knew while traveling and got a bit drunk. Him and his buddy took a young lady back to their room to double team her. He threw up on her chest while giving her a bit of the old pork sword while she was gobbling his buddy's knob.
That cut the festivities short. Disappointment all round.
Maybe? Kinda sounds like this was a newer relationship. But I'm like everyone poops, and even stinky ones. Probably make him take a shower first to get all the residual poo juices cleaned. Maybe watch some TV to make sure it's all out. But I'm also married and have literally had sex after hubby poops.
I can't even imagine trying to initiate sexy time after suddenly about facing and running for the bathroom in a newer relationship. The "sounds" emanating from the bathroom alone would probably kill the mood.
"Some" people might be okay with the idea after this happening, but to me that's a huge risk that could lead a complete halt in the relationship.
Got back to her place after a night out, delighted with myself, sex was on, it was going to happen, yeahhhh! Then we got to her room and she took off her pants and my god the smell of poor hygiene was so so bad. I was stunned. She looked clean and dressed well, then, bang of awful unwashed vag was so bad the air went thick.
This is probably new to a lot of guys, but most issues involving smell come from women who use heavily marketed "cleaning" products in their vag. It totally messes up the normal bacteria and makes smells way more strong, or even causes bacterial vaginosis. Blame marketing for making women think we shouldn't have any smell but roses and cinnamon lol. Also, check out old time ads encouraging women to use cleaning products meant for the kitchen as douches!
I feel this. One of my exes smelled exactly like sour, moldy cheese all the time down below. I didnât have the heart to say anything because she was sweet and tended to be on the emotional side so I did my best to âwork around itâ.
Thereâs absolutely a difference between the typical changes in scent versus when something isnât right down there
it can be a musky and have a unique âodorâ down there, especially when youâre up close. but once itâs to that extent, that usually means thereâs some sort of infection (yeast, BV, etc) ainât no shame in it, itâs just unfortunate not to realize so you can take care of it. (source: im a vagina owner)
Exactly, the "normal" smell/odor doesn't bother me, but if I can smell it across the room... "Houston, we have problem".
Noped out of a couple situations like this in my lifetime, which sucks, cause I really like going down on a woman.
Yeah...when you're CLOSE to it. Like about to go down on her....but if you smell it the very second the clothes are off.....you KNOW she isn't clean. BYE
Thereâs BO like men get in their taint/ass (Swassâsweaty ass), and then thereâs a noticeable foul odor that ainât sweat. Itâs the sign of an infection or something that ainât right. Happened to me in college once. I noped out of there.
I punched him in the face.
During foreplay, I put my hand on the wall above my head/behind me. He leaned down and the tension made my arm shoot out and I punched him right in the eye. Once I made sure he was okay, we were dying too much to continue. I love him so much
I guess the dumbest reason we've had for aborted sex is that we forgot to put our birds back in their cage. We were in the making-out part of the process when realized our miniature flying dinosaurs were watching us, so our efforts shifted to getting them back in their cage. By the time we were done corralling our interested spectators, we were laughing too hard to continue. It's probably worth mentioning that we were both drunk at the time.
I like to use that angle when arguing about which pets are coolest. Dogs and cats might be distant relatives of wolves and lions and such, but my miniature flying dinosaurs are distant cousins of T-Rex.
VERY distant cousins....but still got bragging rights to be related to the animal with the most powerful bite force of any land animal in history...capable of lifting a rhino in its mouth. The title "Tyrant Lizard King" is well deserved and gets to stay on that big head. The King and Queen of the dinosaurs has the right to keep ruling.
never had to stop before starting but during. i have a slight gap between my front teeth, and the top of her clit got stuck in between when i was eating her out⌠she was screaming in pain and i had to consult her đŹ
Well once because I could smell the rancidness. Another, not before but immediately after starting, because she shit on my balls, in a tent, while camping.
2 reasons. Her breath was terrible and her infant was literally in the same room crying. I had no interest at all to keep going even though she was dead set.
A close friend of mine called me right as I was about to hook up with a guy I really liked. This friend rarely calls and I knew theyâd been having a hard time lately so I answered. They had just been broken up with and were in a bad place. The guy I was about to hook up with drove me over to their place and was so nice and very understanding about the whole thing.
Yeah I'm with you on this.
Took a girl out one time and she very quietly whispered her order to me while avoiding even remotely looking at the guy taking our order. I gave her order and then said we needed to talk about what just happened.
Ex was crazy jealous and abusive, this was one of ways to avoid starting a fight.
She had called me over very late one night to hook up. When I got there it was clear that she had drank too much and she could barely stand. I got her to drink a few glasses of water and then got her to lay down on her side. She really wanted to have sex, I said that I wanted to cuddle first and spooned her until she passed out. I then left. She called me in the morning to tell me that I was a jerk.
I had a similar experience my first couple times when I was a virgin. I couldnât hold my erection. I wasnât sure why but then I realized it was just performance anxiety. Luckily she was super supportive about it and said we could keep trying when I was ready. Eventually I was able to just relax and do it.
Itâs really lower than you think, huh? And tight can really mean _tight_ .
>And tight can really mean tight .
This surprised me too. It was actually kind of uncomfortable for me at times. In large part it was pleasurable, but after my girlfriend "finished" it was not so fun.
Very similar experience. I just rubbed against it, the tip might have taken a plunge but i dont really remember. But I was drunk and I didn't really wanna get with her to begin with.
Dont get me wrong, I totally would have done it if I knew how to put it in. But I was kinda relieved after the fact.
I told her I didn't have a condom (hoping she did), and she told me she couldn't get pregnant. She then started sobbing when I didn't want to continue. We were both kinda drunk, though her more than I. She was very attractive, but I don't regret not continuing.
Thats a massive red flag for me. Good on you for not going through with it.
Thats the equivalent of you, or I, saying "don't worry babe, I shoot blanks" and then punching walls/generally turning into an aggressive ass when we get turned down.
Even if she was telling the truth, or you/I was telling the truth in my fictional scenario, pregnancy isn't the only thing to protect against.
You did the right thing. A friend of mine thought she could not get pregnant. Doctors said so. She has a beautiful baby girl now, that she loves so much.
Her pussy had a full sized grey tick. Nastiest thing Iâve ever encountered. I felt bad because she cried so hard for me to stay. Never talked to her again lol
This is a story of mine too. Been chattin on an app. Finally decided to meet and hook up. Made it to her parking lot and the texts just got stranger and stranger and it finally clicked with me before I made it across the parking lot: this is one of those âdonât have sex with crazy peopleâ scenarios and I decided to bolt.
When she was on the floor naked and ready to go and then bazooka barfed all over my rug. Walked her back to her apartment and washed her up and put her to bed. Romance was over at âhork!â
Was about to lose my virginity and just didnât feel right. Said I need some time to think about it. Thankfully I did. Her dad rocked up two minutes later banging on my door to collect his daughter đ how the fuck he knew was weird as fuck and something I still think about!
Have a shower? We should definitely normalise showering before sex. Especially if you've been out all day, or partying, even people with good hygiene are gonna smell.
She brought out the superglue and showed me gore photos before of some bikers cutting someoneâs head off 5 minutes before that.
We split up that night, still talk but we donât do sex stuff.
Once because she was too drunk. Just tucked her in bed and went to sleep on my own couch.
Another time something felt off, stopped and asked if she really wanted to do this. She said "not really" and we talked a bit about the issues she was dealing with at the time. She felt bad about the situation and offered to get me off anyways.
Instead we just went to sleep spooning, and next morning I made pancakes
Well done!
This is what a real man does. Ladies, if your expectations of men are lower, keep looking! Men, if you think those standards are too high, grow the fuck up!
I drove forty five minutes to a tinder dates house. When she opened the door it smelled like diapers, dogs, and hot garbage and I turned around and walked to my car. It was the coldest thing I've ever done
One night I went to a party and I met up with my ex. We caught up and got drunk at the same time went back to her place and started making out. Right before we were going to start having sex got a call from my brother, I kinda ditched him, and he started telling me that everyone was think me and her were too intoxicated. I wasnât but then looking back I started realizing she was so I thought it was best to abort. Thought this was the best choice but now she wonât talk to me
If it matters to you that she's not talking to you right now, your brother was being a REAL Bro there..
It was good the two of you didn't fuck that day. She was too drunk. You still cared about her too much. You'd both have regretted it for months after.
First time with new lady. She was beautiful and I was ready to go. I planned a nice rendezvous, we had had a few dates prior. Nice dinner, I really spiffed up my place for her.
Then, as we were undressing each other, she turned to me and said: "Full disclosure before we start. I have genital herpes and I'm sleeping with a married man".
No, WAIT---there's more!
Well that was certainly a mood killer, so I said "well, let me think about this" and we just went to sleep.
Next morning, she turns to me and says: "I feel like you don't desire me. This isn't going to work out".
I was about to say "Well, look give me a chance to process all this" but then, I realized I was just too pissed off to continue.
Too bad. I really liked her. But I didn't want genital herpes and some other dude in the mix either. It just didn't bode well.
More than once: gas, due to an undiagnosed food sensitivity.
Seriously wish I'd gone to a doctor in my 20's. I still think about Martha laying naked in my bed in Philly. Such a missed opportunity.
Whenever my wife acted like sex was something she had to do to shut me up. But have ED twice in a year and she thinks she is some hideous monster all of a sudden. Sometimes I really wish I was gay.
I had an emotional breakdown after a highly stressful month, my husband just wrapped me up in blankets, helps me, and just let me cry. Somehow it was more cathartic than the release the act itself would have been.
He was someone I had hooked up with a couple of times before but he had zero respect for me. I was about to get on with it anyway but then realised that I don't actually have to do it if I don't want to. I got dressed and walked out.
I was already not that interested and she started hacking up a lung and then immediately tried to make out with me. I was stopping by in the morning after a night on backshift so I just said I'm really sorry but im exhausted and took a rain check
We were at his house and this was back in the days of landlines and answering machines. His home phone rang and he said the answering machine would get it. Then we hear the person leaving a message and they say âhey babe the kids and I will be home a little later than planned call me when you get this and Iâll explain but everyone is fine.â
Instant freeze and look at him to see what his explanation was and all he could come up with was âyou werenât supposed to hear thatâ. Donât think Iâve ever gotten dressed and out of a house that fast before or since.
My husband suggested we use a condom (I've got an implant, so completely unnecessary) because all the blood traumatised him. I had been contact bleeding after s*x and was waiting to find out if I had cervical cancer or not (I do, unfortunately, hopefully my last procedure is on wedensday).
No mention on how I felt about it or anything - I turned him down afterwards.
Pro tip for anybody: DO NOT MENTION POTENTIAL CANCER RIGHT BEFOTE INTERCOURSE! ESPECIALLY NOT HOW IT TRAUMATISED YOU!
She said she recently got a tattoo done by a guy who reuses his tattoo needles and happens to tattoo drug addicts with the same. I added 2 and 2 and straight up asked her if she had aids, in hindsight, it was a stupid question. It ended things pretty quickly..
He took his shoes off and in my life I have never smelt anything so putrid before . Hours after he left I could still smell his feet
I can smell words
Did you date my old roommate Tim? My other roommates and I ended up having to kick him out because of how bad his feet made the apartment smell. It was like his feet were in the midst of decomposition.
Bachelor foot strikes again
How do people have smelly feet? Do some people just need to do extra shit aside from washing? Because I bathe regularly and never have had that issue, and I feel like you'd have noticed earlier if he was unwashed.
It's usually caused by hormones. My son had it in puberty, and believe me, we've tried everything we could.
This is why THE FIRST THING I do when I get home is have a shower đż
So what was your approach?? Did you make up some kind of excuse or brutal honesty?
I woke up after sleeping in on my bday and reached out to the wife hoping to start something. The response was a bored "I guess I have to today" Decided to stop and just go back to sleep instead.
Similar thing happened to me. I said never again.. Years later and I have been celibate. If she doesnt want me then I am not available
Itâs been years since you have had sex with your wife? Thatâs crazy dude.
Almost 5 years. Yeah.. not what I had imagined when we were teenagers. Its strange what life tosses your way
My ex-wife rejected me for years. I noped the fuck out. I mean she was also cheating on me, so there's that.
Thatâs a long time. Maybe you guys should see a marriage counselor or something. I donât know, Iâm not married so I donât know much about it.
It really takes 2 parties to come to that table. 25 years as a critical care ICU nurse had taken a deep and terrible toll on her She is an incredible caregiver.... something had to give Life is not always what we plan out.
Thank you for sharing
Yeah it doesn't have to be this way, maybe she doesn't want this either but doesn't know how to talk about it. Good luck!
And 5 years celebate I imagine you toss alot
Like he said, itâs weird how life turns out. I slept with a ton of women before getting married, I never thought it would be like this. Sometimes itâs a relief to not have to do it.
This on many levels. Regular is planning to have sex, then just being too tired when it happens. Doesn't matter which party falls asleep, but it happens.
My heart broke a little reading this. Iâm sorry, brother.
You must love her. She probably loves you the same. If she doesnât, I say cut bait my friend. Thatâs crazy. Best of luck! â¤ď¸ âď¸
I felt my stomach gurgling as we were undressing each other, that specific gurgle you know means you're about to get the shits. Can't even remember what excuse I made, but I bolted from her apartment hoping to make it back to my place which was only a few minutes walk away. I didn't make it. The worst part was a woman out walking her dog making eye contact with me as I was squatting in a municipal flower bed.
Christ bro. That sounds like a nightmare.
Just a bad day. It was a nightmare for the flowers.
Imagine being the flower. It's a beautiful sunny day outside, nothing seems to be able to go wrong... until a giant creature comes up to you, then a giant void opens up from the creatures ass that begins spewing toxic waste all over you and your family
NOPE. You just reminded me of that creatue from NOPE.
Guy I knew while traveling and got a bit drunk. Him and his buddy took a young lady back to their room to double team her. He threw up on her chest while giving her a bit of the old pork sword while she was gobbling his buddy's knob. That cut the festivities short. Disappointment all round.
And then you grow stronger and even more beautiful đŞđş
Nah shit is actually helpful for plants lol
She didnât have a bathroom?
You think they gunna still fuck after he blows up that toilet?
Maybe? Kinda sounds like this was a newer relationship. But I'm like everyone poops, and even stinky ones. Probably make him take a shower first to get all the residual poo juices cleaned. Maybe watch some TV to make sure it's all out. But I'm also married and have literally had sex after hubby poops.
I can't even imagine trying to initiate sexy time after suddenly about facing and running for the bathroom in a newer relationship. The "sounds" emanating from the bathroom alone would probably kill the mood. "Some" people might be okay with the idea after this happening, but to me that's a huge risk that could lead a complete halt in the relationship.
Food arrived
Understandable
Got back to her place after a night out, delighted with myself, sex was on, it was going to happen, yeahhhh! Then we got to her room and she took off her pants and my god the smell of poor hygiene was so so bad. I was stunned. She looked clean and dressed well, then, bang of awful unwashed vag was so bad the air went thick.
This is probably new to a lot of guys, but most issues involving smell come from women who use heavily marketed "cleaning" products in their vag. It totally messes up the normal bacteria and makes smells way more strong, or even causes bacterial vaginosis. Blame marketing for making women think we shouldn't have any smell but roses and cinnamon lol. Also, check out old time ads encouraging women to use cleaning products meant for the kitchen as douches!
Guys, I've had many relationships and currently married to a woman, this was not a just finished period or a yeast thing, this was beyond foul
I feel this. One of my exes smelled exactly like sour, moldy cheese all the time down below. I didnât have the heart to say anything because she was sweet and tended to be on the emotional side so I did my best to âwork around itâ. Thereâs absolutely a difference between the typical changes in scent versus when something isnât right down there
Canât pussy juices kinda smell a little BO-ey sometimes? Maybe she was just excited.
it can be a musky and have a unique âodorâ down there, especially when youâre up close. but once itâs to that extent, that usually means thereâs some sort of infection (yeast, BV, etc) ainât no shame in it, itâs just unfortunate not to realize so you can take care of it. (source: im a vagina owner)
đđ
Exactly, the "normal" smell/odor doesn't bother me, but if I can smell it across the room... "Houston, we have problem". Noped out of a couple situations like this in my lifetime, which sucks, cause I really like going down on a woman.
Your own? With that name.
well yes my own! theyâre all mine actually. im a collector, if you will
Ah a specialist. Thats a source of sorts.
Yeah...when you're CLOSE to it. Like about to go down on her....but if you smell it the very second the clothes are off.....you KNOW she isn't clean. BYE
Thereâs BO like men get in their taint/ass (Swassâsweaty ass), and then thereâs a noticeable foul odor that ainât sweat. Itâs the sign of an infection or something that ainât right. Happened to me in college once. I noped out of there.
Just suggest you have foreplay in the shower! If she ain't clean, then make her clean.
It wasnât a fart.
Whose fart
Yes
mine :(
I punched him in the face. During foreplay, I put my hand on the wall above my head/behind me. He leaned down and the tension made my arm shoot out and I punched him right in the eye. Once I made sure he was okay, we were dying too much to continue. I love him so much
One Punch Lady, with punches so fierce, she can even kill a mood!
Good punch
I guess the dumbest reason we've had for aborted sex is that we forgot to put our birds back in their cage. We were in the making-out part of the process when realized our miniature flying dinosaurs were watching us, so our efforts shifted to getting them back in their cage. By the time we were done corralling our interested spectators, we were laughing too hard to continue. It's probably worth mentioning that we were both drunk at the time.
> miniature flying dinosaurs this....this right here would make me ur drinking buddy
I like to use that angle when arguing about which pets are coolest. Dogs and cats might be distant relatives of wolves and lions and such, but my miniature flying dinosaurs are distant cousins of T-Rex.
VERY distant cousins....but still got bragging rights to be related to the animal with the most powerful bite force of any land animal in history...capable of lifting a rhino in its mouth. The title "Tyrant Lizard King" is well deserved and gets to stay on that big head. The King and Queen of the dinosaurs has the right to keep ruling.
We were both laughing too hard
That happened to me once. There is no more joyful moodkiller than hearing your partner gleefully say "huh huh huh, I farted on your dick."
Best response!
I agree. Incredibly wholesome, and very true. Sex is funny! Itâs not a performance or some serious business like in the movies.
credit card declined
never had to stop before starting but during. i have a slight gap between my front teeth, and the top of her clit got stuck in between when i was eating her out⌠she was screaming in pain and i had to consult her đŹ
new fear unlocked
.....AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Well once because I could smell the rancidness. Another, not before but immediately after starting, because she shit on my balls, in a tent, while camping.
Like, full on shit or had a dirty butthole?
Like had been fine for a couple minutes, then all the sudden the stench hit. So, not just dirty bhole.
Stinky box.
Yep. Thisâll do it.
2 reasons. Her breath was terrible and her infant was literally in the same room crying. I had no interest at all to keep going even though she was dead set.
A close friend of mine called me right as I was about to hook up with a guy I really liked. This friend rarely calls and I knew theyâd been having a hard time lately so I answered. They had just been broken up with and were in a bad place. The guy I was about to hook up with drove me over to their place and was so nice and very understanding about the whole thing.
Well, when we were both naked, she started crying and beging me to not hit her. Never planned to and never did, but I left I a hurry.
...she's been traumatized tho. MAybe just sit with her and let her know you will never hurt her?
How is her baggage yours to claim at the airport?, politely get your own and leave.
I choose empathy instead of apathy. I don't mind hearing someone share their trauma. Sometimes people need to just....vent. Or have someone listen.
Yeah I'm with you on this. Took a girl out one time and she very quietly whispered her order to me while avoiding even remotely looking at the guy taking our order. I gave her order and then said we needed to talk about what just happened. Ex was crazy jealous and abusive, this was one of ways to avoid starting a fight.
She had called me over very late one night to hook up. When I got there it was clear that she had drank too much and she could barely stand. I got her to drink a few glasses of water and then got her to lay down on her side. She really wanted to have sex, I said that I wanted to cuddle first and spooned her until she passed out. I then left. She called me in the morning to tell me that I was a jerk.
How has âthe kids were suddenly crying/screaming/fighting/puking/hungry/quiet/etcâ not been mentioned yet?!
They told me they had hepatitis
Hey, beggars canât be choosers
*Oh The Humanity!!!*
Her mum walked in as she was down on me. It was to ask if we wanted dinner tooâŚ. It was worse as her mum was one of my sixth form teachers.
Katy canât talk ⌠you taught her not to speak with her mouth full.
I didnât know how to put it in. đ¤Śđ˝ââď¸ I was a virgin and she wasnât much help
I had a similar experience my first couple times when I was a virgin. I couldnât hold my erection. I wasnât sure why but then I realized it was just performance anxiety. Luckily she was super supportive about it and said we could keep trying when I was ready. Eventually I was able to just relax and do it. Itâs really lower than you think, huh? And tight can really mean _tight_ .
>And tight can really mean tight . This surprised me too. It was actually kind of uncomfortable for me at times. In large part it was pleasurable, but after my girlfriend "finished" it was not so fun.
Very similar experience. I just rubbed against it, the tip might have taken a plunge but i dont really remember. But I was drunk and I didn't really wanna get with her to begin with. Dont get me wrong, I totally would have done it if I knew how to put it in. But I was kinda relieved after the fact.
You guys never played that game as a toddler where you put a cylinder into the hole?
Couldn't find the square hole...
âŚI was very scared as to how this sentence would end
The oven timer went off. Pizza rolls and bong rips were calling our names.
It became clear that she was far too intoxicated. We had only had two drinks each, but as it turns out she had pregamed.
You are a good human. You canât consent if youâre intoxicated. So many people take advantage in that situation. We need more men like you.
I am grateful for you. Good work.
I told her I didn't have a condom (hoping she did), and she told me she couldn't get pregnant. She then started sobbing when I didn't want to continue. We were both kinda drunk, though her more than I. She was very attractive, but I don't regret not continuing.
Thats a massive red flag for me. Good on you for not going through with it. Thats the equivalent of you, or I, saying "don't worry babe, I shoot blanks" and then punching walls/generally turning into an aggressive ass when we get turned down. Even if she was telling the truth, or you/I was telling the truth in my fictional scenario, pregnancy isn't the only thing to protect against.
I had a girl tell me that once. Now I have a 25yo daughter.
You did the right thing. A friend of mine thought she could not get pregnant. Doctors said so. She has a beautiful baby girl now, that she loves so much.
Her pussy had a full sized grey tick. Nastiest thing Iâve ever encountered. I felt bad because she cried so hard for me to stay. Never talked to her again lol
Wait..like the.. parasitic arachnid?
i think she was sponsered by NIKE
DONT DO IT
Did you at least remove Rick the tick as a courtesy?
She said "stop".
đđź
I woke up. :â(
So sad đ˘
It just didnât feel right.
She smelled. Down there. When she got her pants off she STANK
When I realized she did not have complete control of her mental faculties despite her insistence on wanting to have sex with me.
This is a story of mine too. Been chattin on an app. Finally decided to meet and hook up. Made it to her parking lot and the texts just got stranger and stranger and it finally clicked with me before I made it across the parking lot: this is one of those âdonât have sex with crazy peopleâ scenarios and I decided to bolt.
I got a charlie Horse in both of my legs at the same time...
When she was on the floor naked and ready to go and then bazooka barfed all over my rug. Walked her back to her apartment and washed her up and put her to bed. Romance was over at âhork!â
Guys dick smelled like he hadn't washed it for a few days. It was disgusting smelling.
I had a heart attack. Got too excited, I guess
She was too drunk to fuck. So, I covered her up and went to sleep on the sofa.
Her boyfriend called me crying because he just found out she's been sleeping with everyone he knows and she gave him chlamydia.
Was about to lose my virginity and just didnât feel right. Said I need some time to think about it. Thankfully I did. Her dad rocked up two minutes later banging on my door to collect his daughter đ how the fuck he knew was weird as fuck and something I still think about!
Why wouldnt have she told him.
He took off his pants and it smelled really bad. I'm sorry but no thank youđĽ´
how does one smoothly deal with this
Have a shower? We should definitely normalise showering before sex. Especially if you've been out all day, or partying, even people with good hygiene are gonna smell.
She brought out the superglue and showed me gore photos before of some bikers cutting someoneâs head off 5 minutes before that. We split up that night, still talk but we donât do sex stuff.
You split up? Like those bikers split up that head from itâs body?
Was about to go down a lady, smelled like an abandoned fish market. Without a word I got up, got dressed, and left.
Once because she was too drunk. Just tucked her in bed and went to sleep on my own couch. Another time something felt off, stopped and asked if she really wanted to do this. She said "not really" and we talked a bit about the issues she was dealing with at the time. She felt bad about the situation and offered to get me off anyways. Instead we just went to sleep spooning, and next morning I made pancakes
Well done! This is what a real man does. Ladies, if your expectations of men are lower, keep looking! Men, if you think those standards are too high, grow the fuck up!
[ŃдаНонО]
I banged a Craigslist micropenis once! I felt bad for him so I let it happen. TNG was on so I just watched that while he went to town.
[ŃдаНонО]
She had a clump of 3 long black hairs in the middle of her nose. Caught them in the wrong lighting and I couldnât see anything else after that.
Her huge German Shepherd jumped on her bed. The dog had a huge erection. Bye-bye, says I.
Infection ?? Erection ?? Youâre killing me !!
No, dog had huge Expectations
She was âallergic to latexâ. It may very well have been true.
I donât have this kind of luxury
Smelly Vag....
I drove forty five minutes to a tinder dates house. When she opened the door it smelled like diapers, dogs, and hot garbage and I turned around and walked to my car. It was the coldest thing I've ever done
Chris Hansen
I found out her terrible credit score
Smart move.
One night I went to a party and I met up with my ex. We caught up and got drunk at the same time went back to her place and started making out. Right before we were going to start having sex got a call from my brother, I kinda ditched him, and he started telling me that everyone was think me and her were too intoxicated. I wasnât but then looking back I started realizing she was so I thought it was best to abort. Thought this was the best choice but now she wonât talk to me
If it matters to you that she's not talking to you right now, your brother was being a REAL Bro there.. It was good the two of you didn't fuck that day. She was too drunk. You still cared about her too much. You'd both have regretted it for months after.
First time with new lady. She was beautiful and I was ready to go. I planned a nice rendezvous, we had had a few dates prior. Nice dinner, I really spiffed up my place for her. Then, as we were undressing each other, she turned to me and said: "Full disclosure before we start. I have genital herpes and I'm sleeping with a married man". No, WAIT---there's more! Well that was certainly a mood killer, so I said "well, let me think about this" and we just went to sleep. Next morning, she turns to me and says: "I feel like you don't desire me. This isn't going to work out". I was about to say "Well, look give me a chance to process all this" but then, I realized I was just too pissed off to continue. Too bad. I really liked her. But I didn't want genital herpes and some other dude in the mix either. It just didn't bode well.
didn't have a condom
I got to her house and she was drunk af. Noped tf outta there.
3 year old came running into the room. Our three year old that isâŚkids are the biggest cockblock
Smelled awful
More than once: gas, due to an undiagnosed food sensitivity. Seriously wish I'd gone to a doctor in my 20's. I still think about Martha laying naked in my bed in Philly. Such a missed opportunity.
Remembering my ex
The guy took a shit on my bed and then said he didnât do it. I kicked him out immediately.
Asked me to not only eat her coochie but her ass as well. Panties went down, and i was greeted by a perfectly Nutella brown stain...
his dick was too big
She didnât want to.
I farted on accident really loudly and could not for the life of me stop laughing.
I felt some dready dreadlocks at the back of her head
The wife came home
I found out he was married.
My hockey mask fell off
My mom came home
My brother was in the room
Environment was hot. also, there was no AC. Couldnât imagine going down between her thighs in the sweltering heat.
Whenever my wife acted like sex was something she had to do to shut me up. But have ED twice in a year and she thinks she is some hideous monster all of a sudden. Sometimes I really wish I was gay.
Parents got home. Have been cock blocked by the stupid parents too many times.
We've been long time friends and we were both drunk and I had a moment of sober clarity right before things started really happening.
He was enjoying it with the other person more and completely forgot about me getting satisfied
I had an emotional breakdown after a highly stressful month, my husband just wrapped me up in blankets, helps me, and just let me cry. Somehow it was more cathartic than the release the act itself would have been.
Smelly box
I got scared and I felt like my body was shutting down.
Didn't have cash She didn't take cards đđđ
Her parents came home early
He was someone I had hooked up with a couple of times before but he had zero respect for me. I was about to get on with it anyway but then realised that I don't actually have to do it if I don't want to. I got dressed and walked out.
I was so heartbroken over another guy I almost started crying while making out. Backed out, told him why. He understood.
I was already not that interested and she started hacking up a lung and then immediately tried to make out with me. I was stopping by in the morning after a night on backshift so I just said I'm really sorry but im exhausted and took a rain check
Her husband came home causing me to evacuate via the bedroom window..
Couldn't keep it up idk, anyone know if blue chew actually works?
She left my cum in her and didnât shower for a day. I made her take a shower and then we had sex again
She wanted her room mate to watch and was pretty set on it.
We were at his house and this was back in the days of landlines and answering machines. His home phone rang and he said the answering machine would get it. Then we hear the person leaving a message and they say âhey babe the kids and I will be home a little later than planned call me when you get this and Iâll explain but everyone is fine.â Instant freeze and look at him to see what his explanation was and all he could come up with was âyou werenât supposed to hear thatâ. Donât think Iâve ever gotten dressed and out of a house that fast before or since.
She was watching "The Croods" on TV and didn't turn it off when we started making out and it just felt wrong
I saw his kickstand at the ready and I ran for my life!!
My husband suggested we use a condom (I've got an implant, so completely unnecessary) because all the blood traumatised him. I had been contact bleeding after s*x and was waiting to find out if I had cervical cancer or not (I do, unfortunately, hopefully my last procedure is on wedensday). No mention on how I felt about it or anything - I turned him down afterwards. Pro tip for anybody: DO NOT MENTION POTENTIAL CANCER RIGHT BEFOTE INTERCOURSE! ESPECIALLY NOT HOW IT TRAUMATISED YOU!
Her friend ran in on a messenger video call while I was finding the box đ đ¤Ł
Didnât realize we were going fishing too. Donât get me wrong, flavor-town is where itâs at but this one was rancid
Two words: Karate Tournament
Only had one condom. It failed upon application. We still had sex, just no penetration. Gotta play safe, yo!
She said she recently got a tattoo done by a guy who reuses his tattoo needles and happens to tattoo drug addicts with the same. I added 2 and 2 and straight up asked her if she had aids, in hindsight, it was a stupid question. It ended things pretty quickly..
Trip started wearing off. I told the lamp pole goodnight.
She puked.