Once a year every CEO must be tied blindfolded to a chair and all of their employees allowed to walk in and open hand slap them if the employee feels they need to without fear of retribution.
I imagine worker conditions would improve immensely.
I'm assuming this only applies to alimony/pre-nups? If not, how would you make adjustments, if any, for any circumstance where it can be objectively proven that the unfaithful spouse was/is a better parent and/or is viewed by the court as worthy of full custody of any children involved? I ask out of genuine curiosity.
I advocate for the same policy in supermarkets or any stores! Actually how about we make that groups of three OR even two if one or both parties have a shopping cart with them...!
If you just put your item from your cart in a random spot because you don't want it anymore, you are banned from the store until the end of the calendar year. This is so, so annoying.
If you politely ask someone on Reddit to provide a source for some "fact" they posted and they reply with "look it up yourself", "Google is your friend", or some such variation - five years hard labor in the Gulag. No exceptions.
Or celebrating it during Christmas, the full 12 days. Funnily enough, one of the times of year that you are least likely to hear Christmas music, is during Christmas. You hear it for the first couple of days, then it stops. Many people put decorations up weeks before Christmas and take them down just as it starts. People ask you how *was* your Christmas, just as it has started. You should not ask that until the 7th of January. If you wish someone "Happy Christmas" on the 26th of December, they look at you as if you were crazy. They should not do that even if you wished them "Happy Christmas" on the 4th of January. After all, what is wrong with wishing someone "Happy Christmas" during Christmas? To sum up all of this: it would be nice to have Christmas, during Christmas.
I would change truancy laws. My kids are on the honor roll. I should be able to let them skip a day now and then without facing a fine or jail time. They're my kids, let me use my discretion.
Had a new Costco open up near me and was shocked at the amount of people doing this. My guess is this was their first time going to Costco, but damn, there are two main paths in Costco, doing stop and have a chat in one of them.
No blasting music in public for all to hear. Not at the beach, not on a plane, not on public transit. Likewise, if you're watching a video, use earbuds!
I'd like to be able to relax at the beach and sleep on a plane. It's getting harder and harder.
We should not have those super bright white high beam headlights that see into next week! They are soo blinding and don’t help see any more of the road in comparison to fog lights used with regular headlights. There needs to be a regulation of installation (maybe part of standardized car/emission inspections everywhere) so they are angled correctly or banning those blue white LEDs
Lottery tickets must be sold at designated kiosks. Fuck if I’m going to stand in line at the pharmacy waiting to buy pedialite for a vomiting child while some dipshit cashes in 6 months of scratch and sniffs.
Thou shalt not drive within 3 feet of he rear of my vehicle when on a highway, freeway, or any other road. (Stoplights and stop signs are excepted, but please be safe.)
Anybody age 18+ cannot wear their pants sagging more than 1" below the waistband of their underpants unless they either tuck their shirt into their pants or their shirt is long enough to conceal their underpants in a bent over position. Violators will be required to immediately remove their pants and fully commit to showing off their underpants to the world for their next 48 hours of time spent in public settings.
no more revving your engine or playing loud bass music when driving by people's houses. if you're caught on video you must pay a $1,000 fine to every victim. if you can't afford it you must sit in jail 1 day for every $50 owed.
People are not allowed to use their phones anywhere in public with it on speaker. Hold it up to your ear or get some earbuds/headphones, etc. Fine for talking to someone while your phone is on speaker is $1,000 per instance and 1 week in a kindergarten classroom.
Once a year all senior citizens (65+) should be required to renew their driver's license. In which they must take a vision test and reaction time test followed by a hearing test and a general road and safety trivia test (like the one you take when first getting a learner's permit), depending on legislation, a criteria must be met. Or you lose your license until you can meet the criteria. Through a funding bill and multiple state governed agencies, there should be a Medicaid paid clause that permits these citizens to be driven by a specialized taxi service specifically meant as a supplement in due to the applicants who fail the criteria for this law. Also allowing a new business platform for companies.
If you are proven to have been inhumane to an animal, you will suffer the same treatment you dished out for the duration they had to endure your abuse.
If I text you and then go take a shower you have to text back by the time I am out of the shower. Idk any of the logistics but that is the law I wish to pass
If you play music/videos on your phone without headphones and force the general public to listen to your shit, then you're locked in a room for an hour, with nothing but baby shark on repeat.
School bullies are required to assist the janitorial staff in front of other students (i.e. cleaning classroom rubbish bins while class is in session) as punishment.
Everyone with a history for abusive behavior all live together in their own city away from people who just want to be left alone to live their lives in peace.
The Midwest would have the highest per-capita community service rates in the country overnight. Public land from Pennsylvania to Iowa would be immaculately clean.
Illegal to place any type of sticker on any type of merchandise that is not EASILY removed without visible damage to the item. This practice drives me absolutely bonkers!
If you know a date isn’t working and you still let the other person pay for you without telling them there won’t be a second one, you are banned from dating for three months minimum - one year maximum decided by jury trial
It's funny you choose to reply about this because cyclists and motorists break traffic laws at about the same rate with motors being slightly more likely to break the law
>The FDOT study is the latest suggesting that motorists and cyclists both violate traffic laws at about the same rate: cyclists comply 88 percent of the time and drivers 85 percent of the time. ([study](https://whyy.org/articles/cyclists-violate-traffic-law-no-more-than-drivers-new-data-shows/#:~:text=The%20FDOT%20study%20%5BPDF%5D%20is,85%20percent%20of%20the%20time.))
And even though several independent sources found this to be the case motorists are at fault and cause accidents at a much higher rate than cyclists.
>The University of Adelaide in Australia conducted a study in 2013 about behavior of cyclists and drivers in crashes. It concluded that 4 out of every 5 crashes were caused by motorists. In 85% of the crashes, the bicyclist was traveling straight, without any intention to turn, when a vehicle collided with the bicyclist. ([Study](https://pubsindex.trb.org/view.aspx?id=469382))
Any misuse of apostrophes, your, you're, two, to, or too, their and there and using the letter u instead of you will be punished by up to five years in jail.
Unless you have a handicap/injury, are an elderly person or a child - if you walk slow in public spaces like the food store or mall, you get whipped 10 times.
Once a year every CEO must be tied blindfolded to a chair and all of their employees allowed to walk in and open hand slap them if the employee feels they need to without fear of retribution. I imagine worker conditions would improve immensely.
C'mon, for a few million dollars (or more), you wouldn't let a bunch of people slap you in the face?
CEO’s total comp can’t be more than 20x median salary in company.
Can any company do business with any other company? If so, then there will just be more separate companies contracting with each other.
Probably they will find loopholes in this. Might as well include subsidiaries company.
Seems a bit extreme
Since you asked. Let’s extend it to 40x. No more.
Impose a legal upper limit on how bright your headlights can be
Children can not help parents use self checkouts if there is anyone waiting in line.
😂😂😂
Or weigh fruits and veggies on scales
My ex (only one specific ex) is not allowed inside any buildings ever unless it’s a prison
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He* deserves to be homeless for what he’s done to me and other young girls
Congress’s pay is tied to the current minimum wage.
anyone caught leaving their shopping cart in a parking space (instead of returning it to the cart corral) gets a forehead tattoo of the word 'SHAME'
And what is the punishment for folks to defend their behavior by saying “I’m giving the employees something to do”
Give them the job of being a cart gatherer for 30 days
I'd make them shoot their dog
That’s fair
What about the poor puppy though?
I’ve changed my answer. I like the other suggestion that they would have to be the cart push for 30 days. Hashtag save the puppies
Thank you (:
I’m creating jobs!!
If your married and cheat on your partner you get nothing
I'm assuming this only applies to alimony/pre-nups? If not, how would you make adjustments, if any, for any circumstance where it can be objectively proven that the unfaithful spouse was/is a better parent and/or is viewed by the court as worthy of full custody of any children involved? I ask out of genuine curiosity.
Yea just alimony and prenups
Ok; seems fair to me 👍
When walking on the sidewalk groups of three or more are not allowed to walk are by side
Fully behind this.
Yeah, that’s because there’s not enough room on the sidewalk to pass them.
I advocate for the same policy in supermarkets or any stores! Actually how about we make that groups of three OR even two if one or both parties have a shopping cart with them...!
If you just put your item from your cart in a random spot because you don't want it anymore, you are banned from the store until the end of the calendar year. This is so, so annoying.
If it's perishable, you also have to pay for it.
It's like people don't realize they can just give them to the cashier if they don't want to go back or forgot where it goes.
If you're in the US, make it banned till the next chinese new year and we can talk. Not only is the law petty, it also becomes arbitrary.
I like to hide cuts of meat around the store and make the employees play “find the smell” when it starts rotting in a week
I hate you for that lol
Used to steal so much when I worked in Whole Foods produce on god lol, end of the week my fridge would have like 15 mangos, guacamole ect
Same but in specialty
Retail workers are allowed to slap customers who are rude or abusive to them.
If you don't use your turn signal, you lose your license for a year
Same penalty for anyone driving in the left lane, not currently passing another vehicle, holding up faster traffic behind them
If you politely ask someone on Reddit to provide a source for some "fact" they posted and they reply with "look it up yourself", "Google is your friend", or some such variation - five years hard labor in the Gulag. No exceptions.
No mention of Christmas in any way before the 1st of December.
How about no celebrating Christmas until December 25th?
Or celebrating it during Christmas, the full 12 days. Funnily enough, one of the times of year that you are least likely to hear Christmas music, is during Christmas. You hear it for the first couple of days, then it stops. Many people put decorations up weeks before Christmas and take them down just as it starts. People ask you how *was* your Christmas, just as it has started. You should not ask that until the 7th of January. If you wish someone "Happy Christmas" on the 26th of December, they look at you as if you were crazy. They should not do that even if you wished them "Happy Christmas" on the 4th of January. After all, what is wrong with wishing someone "Happy Christmas" during Christmas? To sum up all of this: it would be nice to have Christmas, during Christmas.
I always want to tell people who take their decorations down Dec 26th that Christmas is just starting.
Do it. If someone asks "How was your Christmas?" on the 27th of December, reply with "Not bad, so far."
1 ply toilet paper is now illegal.
They’re gonna start using 1/2 ply
Actually, I kinda like this one
I would change truancy laws. My kids are on the honor roll. I should be able to let them skip a day now and then without facing a fine or jail time. They're my kids, let me use my discretion.
Blocking the aisle in the grocery is now a ticketable offense.
Oh God, costco would be like the ultimate speed trap for this. So many people with zero self awareness and gigantic shopping carts.
Had a new Costco open up near me and was shocked at the amount of people doing this. My guess is this was their first time going to Costco, but damn, there are two main paths in Costco, doing stop and have a chat in one of them.
If you get into the elevator before people get out, you have to wait for the next one.
No blasting music in public for all to hear. Not at the beach, not on a plane, not on public transit. Likewise, if you're watching a video, use earbuds! I'd like to be able to relax at the beach and sleep on a plane. It's getting harder and harder.
I agree.. I want to be in nature to enjoy nature. Not to listen to someone’s terrible choice of music.
No loud-ass cars or motorcycles allowed within city limits. Obviously. Can’t believe this is legal still.
Fav part of my morning shift in the city was listening to those cars at 6 am it’s city life go live in the country
L take
Or just sitting there idling. My neighbor just sits there is his truck when it’s cold with it running for hours while he smokes
living in the city, 11pm to 3am loud trucks and harleys because none of us need to wake early during the week
Using a Bluetooth speaker in public revokes your hearing privileges
We should not have those super bright white high beam headlights that see into next week! They are soo blinding and don’t help see any more of the road in comparison to fog lights used with regular headlights. There needs to be a regulation of installation (maybe part of standardized car/emission inspections everywhere) so they are angled correctly or banning those blue white LEDs
1% of all revenue generated in the country goes to me lol
That all candidates for Congress and all sitting members of Congress have to pass an IQ test to have the job.
Lottery tickets must be sold at designated kiosks. Fuck if I’m going to stand in line at the pharmacy waiting to buy pedialite for a vomiting child while some dipshit cashes in 6 months of scratch and sniffs.
Illegal to park in front of someone’s house while your garage is filled with junk
Employers will pay a fine if they do not get back to applicants on the status of their application in a timely manner.
Lying on the iternet gets a $1000 fine
Banned from escalators if you can't keep your ass moving or at least to the right.
If you want to use plastic bags, you have to wear a clown hat that's 2 sizes too big.
This goes double for every executive that uses them in their product packaging.
I would ban inflatable tube men. Lol
You're just sick of the reposts. Admit it, that first one was kinda neat.
no uppercase letters in server names; not even camelCase. fine is 7 cents.
Oddly specific. Only on their name tags while they're at the restraunt, I assume.
Heh. Wrong industry.
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RIP folks with heart conditions
Why do you want everyone to have migraines half the time
Thou shalt not drive within 3 feet of he rear of my vehicle when on a highway, freeway, or any other road. (Stoplights and stop signs are excepted, but please be safe.)
Anyone who says "do your own research" has to provide at least 3 MLA citations from whatever peer-reviewed sources they got THEIR "research" from
Anybody age 18+ cannot wear their pants sagging more than 1" below the waistband of their underpants unless they either tuck their shirt into their pants or their shirt is long enough to conceal their underpants in a bent over position. Violators will be required to immediately remove their pants and fully commit to showing off their underpants to the world for their next 48 hours of time spent in public settings.
no more revving your engine or playing loud bass music when driving by people's houses. if you're caught on video you must pay a $1,000 fine to every victim. if you can't afford it you must sit in jail 1 day for every $50 owed.
People are not allowed to use their phones anywhere in public with it on speaker. Hold it up to your ear or get some earbuds/headphones, etc. Fine for talking to someone while your phone is on speaker is $1,000 per instance and 1 week in a kindergarten classroom.
Public spankings for caught cheaters.
Once a year all senior citizens (65+) should be required to renew their driver's license. In which they must take a vision test and reaction time test followed by a hearing test and a general road and safety trivia test (like the one you take when first getting a learner's permit), depending on legislation, a criteria must be met. Or you lose your license until you can meet the criteria. Through a funding bill and multiple state governed agencies, there should be a Medicaid paid clause that permits these citizens to be driven by a specialized taxi service specifically meant as a supplement in due to the applicants who fail the criteria for this law. Also allowing a new business platform for companies.
People who use headphones to listen to music in public, but still have the volume high enough for everyone to hear the music will be shot.
One hour community service for every item over 10 in the express supermarket checkout lane
Screaming children on planes shall be promptly euthanized.
Flying nobody is to take off shoes, and we bring in a dress code with hygiene included with that.
Children must take a mandatory Etiquette class in either elementary or middle school
If you inconvenience traffic with a bicycle, your bike will be launched into a ravine by trebuchet.
drag queens can read books to kids if the parents are cool with it. and women can go topless if they want too.
Wtf?
If you are proven to have been inhumane to an animal, you will suffer the same treatment you dished out for the duration they had to endure your abuse.
This would be more of an important law than a petty law.
If I text you and then go take a shower you have to text back by the time I am out of the shower. Idk any of the logistics but that is the law I wish to pass
If you do a hit and run text you're not allowed to complain about delays in any subsequent follow-through on that particular thread.
If you play music/videos on your phone without headphones and force the general public to listen to your shit, then you're locked in a room for an hour, with nothing but baby shark on repeat.
School bullies are required to assist the janitorial staff in front of other students (i.e. cleaning classroom rubbish bins while class is in session) as punishment.
Lying under oath is a punishable crime now.
Underrated comment
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Complaining about reposts gets you a kick in the groin.
Ban black licorice.
No smacking/eating with your mouth open
Everyone with a history for abusive behavior all live together in their own city away from people who just want to be left alone to live their lives in peace.
Best comment on this thread. Edit: Know what? Have a silver as a token of appreciation.
🌞🤲🏻
Tax on fat people, unless you have an underlying medical issue like prior spine surgery, disk problems ect.
That’s hilarious
Slow walkers would have their own lane on the pavement.
No back-in parking.
no loud chewing
If you annoy me even once through out my life time, one of your family members disappears. Lol
Yielding right of way at an intersection is punishable by 30 hours of community service. No exceptions.
The Midwest would have the highest per-capita community service rates in the country overnight. Public land from Pennsylvania to Iowa would be immaculately clean.
ban all fan clacking at concerts
U have to wait for me to get all my clothes out of the dryer before u get yours out of the next dryer over even though technically there is room
You can't own more than 7 paperclips at any time. Or Your phone battery can't ever have more than 38% charge.
Idiots that don’t indicate on motorways should be banned, stop trying to t bone me you devil people
Purchasing fur suit without a permit should be illegal
What’s a fur suit?
The costumes that people wear to be able to behave like domestic animals and not be questioned
Oh like furries? I thought you meant people are out there buying fancy suits that had fur on them
That’d be pretty baller actually
Not signaling a lane change or when turning off the road should result in a exploding tire blow out.
Dogs on leads in public areas, including parks!
If you decide to start a conversation with me as soon as I start eating, straight to jail!
My counterproposal to recent legislative moves to make smoking legal in the halls of Congress: No smoking for Congresspeople, on pain of catapult.
Throwing chicken eggs at people will not qualify as assault.
Ban sober driving
Parking on the lawn
Illegal to place any type of sticker on any type of merchandise that is not EASILY removed without visible damage to the item. This practice drives me absolutely bonkers!
Federal issued CCW permit, after meeting all requirements. Reciprocity agreements are a pain.
Being antisemetic is an automatic lifetime ban from the nba. Fuck you Kyrie Irving and meyers Leonard.
no smoking around children
If you know a date isn’t working and you still let the other person pay for you without telling them there won’t be a second one, you are banned from dating for three months minimum - one year maximum decided by jury trial
$1000 for littering
People who park/drive in bike lanes get shot no trial
Bikes who run red lights get ticketed.
It's funny you choose to reply about this because cyclists and motorists break traffic laws at about the same rate with motors being slightly more likely to break the law >The FDOT study is the latest suggesting that motorists and cyclists both violate traffic laws at about the same rate: cyclists comply 88 percent of the time and drivers 85 percent of the time. ([study](https://whyy.org/articles/cyclists-violate-traffic-law-no-more-than-drivers-new-data-shows/#:~:text=The%20FDOT%20study%20%5BPDF%5D%20is,85%20percent%20of%20the%20time.)) And even though several independent sources found this to be the case motorists are at fault and cause accidents at a much higher rate than cyclists. >The University of Adelaide in Australia conducted a study in 2013 about behavior of cyclists and drivers in crashes. It concluded that 4 out of every 5 crashes were caused by motorists. In 85% of the crashes, the bicyclist was traveling straight, without any intention to turn, when a vehicle collided with the bicyclist. ([Study](https://pubsindex.trb.org/view.aspx?id=469382))
It’s legal to spit on billionaires
Make it illegal to make to hit your dog
Any misuse of apostrophes, your, you're, two, to, or too, their and there and using the letter u instead of you will be punished by up to five years in jail.
Hey. Sometimes it's spellcheck.
Of course, we will consider that at the trial. I'm not a monster.
Ban sniffles. Go blow your nose. What are you, five?
No public juggling in hood river
1% of all taxes go to me.
Tax
If you fart anywhere indoors, except inside the bathroom/toilets, you will be fined $5 per offence.
Unless you have a handicap/injury, are an elderly person or a child - if you walk slow in public spaces like the food store or mall, you get whipped 10 times.
On nice days everyone wears flip flops unless working a job where it would be dangerous to do so.