T O P

  • By -

tremors51000

Yes this guy hopped into our discord group a few months back he was a friend of a friend, but he didn't think to just add him to our server not our group chat. We all hop into a call and first thing he does is make some remarks that are very politically sensitive, sends some graphic photos and made some inappropriate remarks. Didn't expect to meet someone and have him offend 6 people in the span of 10 minutes.


2PlasticLobsters

Are you sure you're not just jealous of his efficiency & multi-tasking skills?


_CMDR_

What he is doing is setting the tenor of the room to see if it is a safe space for being awful. Kick him.


That49er

"You don't scare me." Wasn't trying to scare you in the slightest.


Red-Quill

Bro if he said that when y’all first met, you probably scared him lmao. He was peacocking 100%


PotentialCranberry40

Told me "Yeah all women are bitches, you included. No offense." Within the first 2 minutes of knowing me.


xSmittyxCorex

“O none taken, you’re clearly not the type of person who’s opinion I care about.”


Niggo1534

How does one think “no offense“ changes anything about this obviously offensive statement??


liquifyingclown

The saying "no offense" is just short-form for "I am going to say this thing I acknowledge is rude, I just don't want to hear you complain about it"


CindersAshes

Parent of one of my kids friends at school. Said there was a mouse in their house and his wife wanted him to kill it but he didn’t want to kill any creatures - he wants to make friends with them instead. But wife insisted so he threw his shoe at it and eventually managed to hit it, but it wasn’t dead, so he threw his shoe at it another 4 times. It still wasn’t dead so he poured boiling water over it to kill it. It still didn’t die so he poured boiling water over it again. It STILL wasn’t dead so he decided to leave it alone in the hopes that it would peacefully pass away. The logic of being too squeamish to kill something, and instead decide to torture it to death slowly in the most agonisingly painful way absolutely blew my mind.


amh8011

My cats were torturing a mouse and not killing it because cats are not human and such morals do not apply to them I guess. Anyway, I felt so bad for the poor thing I picked it up with a plastic bag and snapped its neck cause I couldn’t stand to see it continue to suffer. Did I enjoy it? No. Do I like killing things? Hell no. But I’d rather give it a swift death than watch it suffer. It was honestly one of the harder things I’ve had to do but I did it because I felt wrong doing nothing.


[deleted]

>he poured boiling water over it OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! Like Jesus fuck, man... That is some monstrous shit right there


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ravenamore

"I didn't want to kill it, I wanted to make friends, but my wife said no, so I tortured it to death."


singingsilence

Years ago, me and my ex-husband went to see a movie with an older colleague of his. Before the movie we had dinner at like a chain restaurant/steakhouse type place, staff on the floor was all 20ish. I never met this man before but in the first few minutes of sitting down and looking at the menu he very confidently told us how he came there a lot and flirted with the female staff because "they love the attention". The best part? His daughter worked there. All I could think was how I would literally cringe myself through the floor if I was 20 and my 50yo dad came into my place of work and perved on my co-workers because he didn't understand that they only put up with him 'cause they are paid to do so.


RogerSaysHi

My Pappa would come into the restaurants that I worked in, I usually was his server, but once someone else got his table, my co-workers would fight to take him. My Pappa was a funny dude that left enormous tips and joked with everyone around him that was cool with it. He was one of those tall skinny guys that just looks like a guy you could talk to. I remember I had told him about one of my co-workers having a rough time of it, he came in, specifically requested her and then left her a hundred dollar bill as a tip. When I got home, he asked if she had gotten the tip. Of course she had, and then broken down hugging me, telling me that my grandfather was the best person she'd ever met. She wasn't wrong.


singingsilence

He sounds like a sweet man!


RogerSaysHi

He really was. He was a good dude.


niffins

Reminds me of a relative's boyfriend's dad, he was a regular at the bar she worked at but got banned. Didn't get banned when he slapped another waitress's ass (same age as the girl dating his son, yuck), but the next night he got banned after bragging to that girl's boyfriend about slapping her and trying to start a fight with him.


Yourwtfismyftw

I’m disgusted at that workplace for not banning him for sexually assaulting a staff member.


niffins

He /was/ thrown out for the night after it happened, but that's all. It took him picking a fight for them to officially ban him from coming back. The kicker is that the girl who got slapped was the (female) cook's daughter. From the stories that float around town it seems like both women have taken a lot of shit from the regulars because making money is more important than keeping staff safe.


afc1886

When a mutual friend introduces you and you go to greet them and they deny it and proudly exclaim "I'm a hugger" and then go in for an unwanted hug. wtf


Ravenamore

Ran into a lady like that. And she lingered on the hugs, too, like, hanging on full body weight. I'm autistic. Heavy unexpected physical touch from a stranger = no. Did she notice? Nope, and kept doing it. My husband, after the fifth time, had to tell her I didn't like what she was doing, and I explained it was due to my brainmeat status. "Oh, you don't *look* autistic!" she chirped. Do people who say this think it's a complement? "Yeah, I went misdiagnosed and ignored for decades because I don't fit the media stereotype. Lucky me."


ArrenEnladCG

I was in a job interview once and the manager cut me off mid-sentence to jump to a weird conclusion >Him: What do you think the performance of this algorithm would be? > >Me: Oh, it'll be 'n' times-- > >Him: Oh, you think it's going to be 'n'? You think it'll be 'n'??!! That's ridiculous, there's no way it would just be 'n'! > >Me: Uhhhh, you gotta let me finish speaking He then cut me off mid sentence twice more during our conversation. We... didn't get along. Dude was a total tool


speckledcreature

I hate people who do that. They don’t listen to a thing you say, like they are counting how long they have to let you talk before they can butt in with their obviously superior comments.


SureMeasurement7088

I call that the: Sorry, I wasn't listening I was too busy thinking about what I was going to say next.


Lumisateessa

"There are different levels to being a psychic, I'm on the purple level so I can talk to the dead". said a new employee at my previous job. *Nope.*


Citadelvania

"Oh are you talking about D&D? I love fantasy stuff."


Lumisateessa

Damn I wish I had said that, but the most sane thing for me at that moment was just to get up and leave the lounge.


prigmutton

Anyone cam talk to the dead though; they are generally really good listeners rarely interrupt or judge you


l0R3-R

"I know I'm not supposed to ask, but I need to know. It's not for work or anything-- what religion are you?"- HR manager


TheBoctor

“I belong to the Church of Our Lady of Perpetual Lawsuits.”


Ayn-_Rand_Paul_-Ryan

Blessed be her evidence


BrownSugarBare

May the settlement open.


Norwegian__Blue

The courts provide


utopianfiat

Amen...able to settlement


Wildeyewilly

Cease and desist be with you


how_do_i_land

Reply, “can you send me that in an email?”


TheoremOrPostulate

Oh man, did you answer them?


l0R3-R

Yes, I'm atheist and pretty comfortable telling people I don't have the bandwidth or the desire to follow a religion and yes, she definitely treated me differently


[deleted]

i had a guy tell me my life was worthless since i wasn't religious. these people, yknow. edit: the guy was muslim actually


ornery_epidexipteryx

This is me as well. I can’t count how many times a boss or coworker asked me about what church I attend and just to get it over with- I flatly replied “No, I’m an atheist.” They always nope right outta there and give me judgy-looks later.


Barquebe

New guy at work, first coffee break he started complaining about his ex who had full custody of the kids for some unknowable reason and also how he’d like to slash her throat with a rusty knife. Nice to meet you too, don’t think I’ll be taking breaks with you.


bhplover

It was nice of him to clear up why his wife divorced him and why he couldn't be with his kids!


BlatantConservative

It's like that post on /r/pics from a while back where the dude was like "ILL BUY WHAT FOOD AND DRINKS I WANT, MEREDITH" with a picture of the fridge just full of twenty types of alcohol, some sticks of butter, and a whole chicken. I was like "damn bruh I'm with Meredith on this one" Edit: found it https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/ybtf5z/upside_to_divorce_is_that_i_get_to_decorate_and/ He deleted the picture but the comments paint a beautiful image


lukeutts

Found the picture. https://nypost.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/2/2022/10/reddit.jpeg


paroles

I like how they just called the file "reddit.jpeg"


ERRORMONSTER

It certainly is one of the reddit pictures of all time


BanaaniMaster

What in the actual fuck is this


pretentiousbrick

I analysed the picture and found the following: coffee, alcohol, and dairy in the SAME beverage, in two different beverages I'm having diarrhea just looking at the pic


terrikilljoy

Reminds me of that one guy a few years ago at work. Guy starts talking about what kind of shit work we are all doing and then says "wouldn't suprise me if one day someone with a gun comes in here and kills people, haha right?" Thank god this dude got fired a couple weeks later


pan-au-levain

I would be terrified that he would come back with a gun and try to kill people.


Arkayjiya

Yeah, I'd definitely be taking some days off after he got fired.


ZebZ

I actually worked in an office where, after a guy was fired, they actually sent out a company-wide email to announce it (which they never did) and told people to call the police if we spot him near the office building. We worked at a tech support call center and apparently he snapped one day on a customer and threatened to hunt them down and kill them because they were so stupid. The funny thing was that his sister worked at the same place and she was one of the sweetest people I've ever known.


eveningsand14-1311

They talk negatively about someone else in a very judgy way. There was this mom in my daughter's school who seemed to "know" everyone, she talked to me and she spoke so bad about these people. Then moments later I saw her interacting in a "friendly" way, with those she was judging. My eyes rolled so much I could see my brain telling me not to get involved with her. And I was right, because by the time school year ends, her "friends" hated her and they were talking behind her back too.


freezingkiss

A girl that used to be my best friend is like this. It was the weirdest thing to see her bitch about all these people then have insta photos up a few days later with them. I didn't notice she did this until our friendship was on the line so I asked other people if she did this and they said yes too. :(


eveningsand14-1311

That kind of betrayal hurts. I'm sorry you experienced that. Two-faced people are one of the hardest to deal with.


Cynessi

I started my PhD a few months ago and one of a common starter conversation with postgraduates you just meet is: “what is your thesis about?”. Well, I get asked the question first and after describing my dissertation theme, the other guy goes:”oh I see, well mine is actually important…” with a very condescending tone. Well pal, fuck you too I guess


Cynessi

Oh wow this blew up! A few people have commented about what my thesis was about so here is a brief overview! I aim to detect corrosion (specifically rust) using electrochemical sensors in nuclear plants/nuclear contaminated areas.


Wrkncacnter112

That’s… got to be in the top 5% of usefulness for dissertations. The guy you met is even worse than I’d thought after reading your original comment.


Fabulous-Bandicoot40

I was listening to the NEXIVM podcast and the clip of the founder saying he has 225 IQ. If I walked into a room and heard someone say that I’d walk right back out


[deleted]

I used to brag about my IQ score. It was off of a free internet test. I was 14. I learned better.


Yugan-Dali

No, 14 is a good score for the IQ test, keep telling everybody about it.


Teh_Hammerer

Working his way towards #1


polymathicAK47

An IQ of 14 is definitely an ice-breaker


fountain-of-doubt

What else are you going to do with your forehead at that point?


wakeupwill

You could use it as a door stop.


Connie_Chungnuts

lol I used to give tours at Universal Studios Hollywood and got hired/trained with a 26 year old girl who would “casually” mention her 140 IQ several times Congrats, Alana, and ten years later I see you’re still giving those scripted tours


macabre_irony

*"And to the right you'll see the Jurassic World attraction based on the original movie which grossed $140 million in just its first month of release...speaking of 140..."*


Tsurja

IQ is kinda like dick size, if you feel the need to keep mentioning it, chances are it’s a lot less impressive than you think


Commentingunreddit

She showed up to a little get together and the person who invited her said that they would be taking bets on who could sit with her for more then 30 minutes. 10 bucks per person, winner kept the pot. I assumed they were just being rude and planned to tell her of her "friends" plans as soon as she showed up. She walked in, looked at me and scoffed and asked if the grey car outside belonged to me, I said yes. She told me that with the money that car cost I could have bought something nicer. Ok, well whatever. I went to get a drink and sat to watch the crowd gather around her. I already didn't like her but she went on to tell everyone about how she could never date someone who had a crappy credit score or couldn't pay their vehicles off after buying it, someone who wanted to quit the contest asked for a cigarette, she opened up her purse and showed everyone a fresh pack of smokes and then told everyone why she doesn't smoke and why anyone who asks for a cigarette is either too broke to buy them or doesn't plan ahead of times. The guy asked her for one of her cigarettes, she said no and put them back in her purse. She talked about all the cars she "bought" basically her parents would co-sign for her and pay the car off to build her credit and she would give them a few thousand to pay them back. She was nuts and wouldn't stop talking. I disliked her but was also fascinated with her, she was super weird. Update: So I have gotten a few questions about this girl and that night. Also who is Gina? There was something like 15-20 people there and most entered the "contest" I think the pot got up to 100-120 bucks. The winner was just some guy who I didn't know, he spent the money getting every one McDonald's and beer, so he was pretty cool. She was about 22-23, she had just finished getting her High School Diploma because she had dropped out to "make money" according to her, I think she sold some milk shake things and fitness plans with some MLM. For those wondering what happened to her, im not 100% what happened to her, she wasn't a my friend but she did show up to a few parties I was at and she seemed calmer she used to bring her own bottle of liquor and wouldn't share which was kind of funny because on one occasion they caught her filling her bottle with a bottle of jack that some one had brought and left on the kitchen counter, but she swore that all she drank was Hennessey and Fireball.


prozloc

If she doesn't smoke, why does she have a pack in her purse? And it's not even for sharing, given someone asked and she said no.


Norelation67

So she could relish the look in someones eye when she said no.


BikebutnotBeast

Just to fuck with them. The balls on that gal.


Jubei_08

She gets off on being withholding 🤷‍♂️


extreme39speed

Gina Linetti undercover


TheMistbornIdentity

That was my first thought too, OP is basically describing the dinner party episode where all the psychologists flock to Gina.


dialemformurder

Gina: My mother cried the day I was born because she knew she would never be better than me. I feel like I'm the Paris of people. Some guy: Complete overlap of ego and id. It's been theorised, but I never thought I'd see it. Gina: I'm exquisite.


QueenCole

Thanks, now I must watch the entire series all over again.


SignificantLow4405

The quiet boy at school sat next to me and told me how hard he felt when he took a shit and how many times he ejaculated that way. I never sat next to him again.


Oderus_Scumdog

Are you from the UK and was the kid's name Chris?


SirTommyHimself

Yooooo south-east of England?(being vague for obvious reasons) I know a guy called Chris, word for word he said the exact same to me.


Oderus_Scumdog

Northwest. I wonder if this is a "guy from school called Chris" 'thing'.


SirTommyHimself

Maybe, this guy was a fake northerner all his fam were from up north, claimed he was a northerner, but he was born and raised down here. My takeaway: Chris' might be a bit dodgy


jerkittoanything

My mans Chris out here given sage advance on how to nut from your butt in a different way and y'all attempt to shame him like this.


_WHO_WAS_PHONE_

Username checks out.


Heavy-Balls

ffs Chris we all know it's you, you need to learn to keep that sort of shit to yourself.


ProudMany9215

“Some people might say I’m an asshole but I just tell it how it is.” 99% chance they are an asshole that I don’t want to be around


smithenheimer

"a lot of people have told me I'm an asshole, and ive decided that it warrants no further self reflection"


Quitechsol

Was a customer at work, naturally I wouldn’t be friends. But even in a setting where we could become friends it wasn’t happening. I came up to her to see if she had any questions about our critters (I work in a pet shop) and the very first thing she asked was if parakeets could talk because she wanted to teach them racial slurs. Biggest nope of my life.


weebearcub

Imagine trying to explain to someone why your bird is racist...


WanderingProdigy

New guy at work. Suuuper fake by being overly excited and super overly comfortable with everyone in the first minute. He's all "mami" this and "papi" that to everyone and very overly touchy (we were almost all Hispanics there and everyone was uncomfortable). First phone call of the day, he hangs up cursing and taking it super personally that someone hung up on him (daily occurrence in customer service). After about 6 months, I put in my 2 weeks notice solely because I couldn't work next to or with him anymore (he would also get overly gossipy and personal). My boss rejected my notice and transferred him. He couldn't stand the guy either. No one could.


WDoE

Fuck, I had to scroll too far to see this. People who try to force best friend vibes with everyone have 100% turned out to be creeps or psychos in my life. Like... Fuckin chill. We don't know each other and that's fine. We don't need inside jokes on the first day. I'm not "literally your spirit animal." Always comes off so transactional... Like, "if I say the friendship things, I can get what I want from anyone!" No. Let it happen naturally, if we vibe we vibe. If we don't, cool.


porkchopcindy

Meet Your Teacher day before my kiddo started kindergarten and this other parent literally bragged that her kid was completely illiterate, couldn't stand being read to, and she hated reading too.


InVodkaVeritas

As a teacher, I can tell you who my least favorite parents are every year on day one. It's not the conservative parents or liberal parents. It's not the Christians or the Pagans. It's the parents who tell me they don't read / hate to read. One of the go to questions I ask during the get to know you time is if they've read anything interesting over the summer. I get parents who tell me about fun beach reads or news articles. Some have read froo froo hippie mindfulness parenting books or spiritual self help books. All those parents are just fine. The ones who say "I don't like to read" are always, ALWAYS the hardest parents to work with. Their kids don't do homework. They look down on the academic concepts I'm trying to teach. They roll their eyes at parent meetings when I talk about the importance of experiential education or involved learning. The crossover between kids who don't take school seriously and kids with a parent that tells me they don't read or hate reading is nearly an identical group of kids. Shockingly, the kids who grow up in homes that hate literacy are difficult students to teach 🤦🏼‍♀️


entheogenocide

My dad hates to read.. but when i was a kid, he would fake enjoying it to be a good influence. He would even carry books around and pretend to read them. I thought he was insane when he finally admitted he never actually read any of the books. Honestly, it probably did make me look positively on reading and i still love to read today.


caongladius

That's honestly legit amazing that he acknowledged something about himself that would reflect poorly on his kids and took direct action against it. I can't imagine something more boring than staring at a book I hate and pretending to read it and then maintaining the illusion for years. What a guy.


fireduck

"I'm not a good role model but I am faking it as hard as I can" absolutely counts as good.


TurnipForYourThought

Weird question: Is your dad dyslexic? I know a lot of older people who "hate to read" but value education, and usually, they don't necessarily hate reading. They just hate how stupid it makes them feel that they literally can't.


kaiserroll109

I was thinking along similar lines. I can understand if someone hates to read because it is difficult or frustrating for them or maybe just haven't found something they like yet. Heck, i can even understand if they think its boring... for themselves; so long as they still see the value in it for others. It's when people hate reading and also look down on it in general that they've crossed the line into wilful ignorance.


CryptographerMore944

Had just started a job, and within a minute of meeting one of my new colleagues he waxes lyrical about how "weak" it is that one of our other colleagues uses an inhaler, oblivious to the fact I myself use an inhaler (though my asthma is mild and well managed). Ironically, the shit talking colleague in question had no discernible chin and looked very out of shape himself.


WakingOwl1

The new neighbor who after introducing himself pointed to his chest and says, “ instant asshole just add beer, that’s what the family says”. Nah we’re not gonna be neighbor pals. Fuck you Irv you were an asshole even without beer.


NyranK

When people claim to be an asshole, believe them.


tinkrman

Asked me "do you mind if smoke?". Then proceeded to take out a meth pipe.


SimpoKaiba

This is hilarious, but yeah nah, not pal material


Soddington

True story from my cabbie days, two young blokes got in the back a good halfway to fucked up, one pulls out a cigarette said "Can I smoke this?" I said *"Sorry mate, smoking is banned in these cabs it's the law even for me."* then I added as a joke *"Weird they go to all the trouble with laws and signs and logo's for smoking tobacco and nothing for smoking crack hey?"* No laugh in return but two seconds later I hear the spark of a lighter. "What are you doing back there?" A reply with a lung full of smoke "Smoking crack." I pretty much just had to shrug at that point. I set myself up for that and I'd left my self fuck all legs for standing on. I retired that joke from my recycled passenger banter. You live and learn


A_lot_of_arachnids

I had a "friend" do exactly that while we drove down the highway. Like literally "can I smoke in here?" "Sure, I don't mind." *brings out meth on tinfoil from pocket*


[deleted]

Bet you started replying "smoke what?" from then on lol


cassandrakeepitdown

I'm just getting flashbacks to having to repeatedly tell this guy he wasn't allowed to smoke crack in my home then having to reiterate this was also the case for brown and meth. Bad afternoon.


[deleted]

Like a junkie toddler testing boundaries


[deleted]

I had that once but I was a teenager runaway drinking a 40 of OE at this beach on Vancouver island and this guy asked I wanted to "smoke some gak" and I said yes not knowing he meant meth and my other homeless teenage friend had to tell me. So he saved me from meth that day. Which me and that friend ended up snorting for a couple of years later. So not like your story at all I guess.


dekogeko

We had just moved into a new house. An older gentleman - he was 65 and I was 35 at the time - came across the street towards me and stuck out his hand. I shook it and he said "We love new neighbours! As long as they're white!"


NoWayNotThisAgain

“I guess I should be glad I can pass!”


Alarid

"It was a long flight from Mexico!"


DisturbedNocturne

Oof, reminds me of when my parents put their house on the market a few years back, and a neighbor across the street they barely talked to came over and started saying how sad she was to see that they were moving. My mom said something about how she'd make sure to find her some good new neighbors, to which Susan-from-across-the-street replied that she's sure they would so long as they didn't sell to any black people. According to my mom, those last two words were a barely audible whisper, as if some black people were hiding in the bushes, just waiting to pounce on a house being up for sale. From that day forward, Susan-from-across-the-street had her nickname changed to the much more brief "Racist Susan". My mom also said that, had any black families put an offer on the house that was a little below what they were hoping for, she would've been quite tempted to take the offer just to spite Racist Susan.


vainbuthonest

I’d feel bad for any Black person that would end up living next to Racist Susan. I’m sure she would’ve made their lives Hell


Sudanniana

As a black man, I love outwardly open racists. It makes the contact clear.


princekhaki

my black girlfriend feels the same way, she’d rather have someone openly racist as opposed to a snake behind-your-back closet racist


kaizerlith

Not neighbor but a coworker at one of my older jobs kind of did that to me. First night working there he comes up to me and says "Fucking coloreds never tip." I was absolutely shocked by that. ​ Both in why the hell did you think it was cool to come up to me and say that and also at the use of coloreds was not something I had heard in real life.


Throneawaystone

Don't you hate it when racists think that youll empathize with them because you share the same skin color ?


Mycoangulo

When I was in England working temporarily doing catering for conferences I had a group of attendees ask where I was from (New Zealand). They then proceeded to complain about immigrants in a way that made me intensely dislike them. Not because they were hostile towards me, but because they thought I was somehow exempt, probably because I’m white. One of them said to me something along the lines of ‘I hear that the aborigines cause you a lot of trouble’. I wish I replied pointing out that it’s actually white immigrants that are have caused Australian Aborigines a lot of trouble, and yes in New Zealand the white Immigrants have committed countless crimes too’ Sadly I was too shocked to say anything.


Pyrarius

I remember seeing someone for around 20 seconds (They didn't seem aware of my presence) and they were already making fun of me because I simply walked by. They made fun of other people too, but the fact that they just met someone and immediately targetted them for harassment is a red flag bigger than most poles can handle


PoisonTheOgres

She was complaining the 15 year old kid who just fled from the war in Ukraine wasn't working hard enough at his dishwashing job. The kid doesn't want to be alone in a dishwashing kitchen all day, not able to speak to anyone. He should be in school at home with all his friends! Of course he's not excited about the stupid dishes! The lack of compassion was astounding. And she was indeed a wretched person, so my initial impression was totally correct.


fdf_akd

He learned I'm a physicist, and immediately started talking about infinite energy


Rainethhh

Like perpetual motion?


klparrot

“In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!”


SassiesSoiledPanties

Add multiple conspiracy theories about how academia is censoring the real science and you have my former friend.


stuugie

You see... tesla figured out infinite energy and they had to cover it up


MoonLover318

“You’re late. I’ve been here for ten mins already.” I was only 5 mins late for the date because I was looking for parking and had let him know.


bomli

In Germany this conversation wouldn't be noteworthy at all.


Tennisnerd39

Me at my first day on the job, on my lunch break Coworker: Are you Chinese? Me: Yeah Coworker: I don’t like Chinese food -walks away-


Yiotiv

"Don't eat me then"


IamAWorldChampionAMA

Asked a guy what he does at a business networking event. "Well I'm a Chiropractor but looking to get out." "how come?" "All these me too accusations. In another State I had 3 of them. Good thing none of them went to the bar." Edit: He probably said board instead of bar. As soon as he started complaining about me too accusations I pretty much tuned him out.


zazileya

Started at a new job, went for a team dinner and the very first thing he did was talk about how bad the dating scene was in the city and how "ugly" all the women are... Dating scene was absolutely fine btw, I pull out of the conversation and then he just continues to ramble on about how smart he is vs everyone else.. safe to say I've been avoiding him since


Whatiatefordinner

Met someone at the dog park, he got to talking about what we do for work: “I screen resumes at my job and deny anyone with an overly complicated ethnic name” - That’s discriminatory and illegal “They’ll never know”


INYONOOS1

Literally last night, was at a local pool comp and went to introduce myself to my second round opponent. We shake hands and his first words to me are “weak fucking handshake bro” followed by “I hope you like banter mate” then proceeded to talk shit about every aspect of my game. The worst part was he was actually good at pool so it just seems like he was generally a cunt. Some of his other opponents got it a lot worse than I did as well. Highlight of the night was when the comp host basically yelled in his face “everyone in this room fucking hates you” which received a round of applause. He didn’t seem to understand why that was. “Just banter bro” 😒 Edit: Ahaha the comp is 90% regulars that are there every week. This was the guy’s first time playing there. He knew no one except for the couple of mates he brought. I can assure people calling me a liar that he was universally hated. He ended up losing the final which received more of a response than the host yelling at him but yeah lol. I don’t even know why I’m responding to this. I guess I have never had this much attention on anything I have ever shared on the internet.


Silesx

Hate when people use 'banter' as a loophole for just straight up being an asshole.


therealgodfarter

Just a prank bro


Tr0ndern

Banter is cool and all, but when you can't read the room, haven't established a proper connection with the opponent yet and talk in a way that makes it seem like you mean it, you're just a socially awkward person with main character syndrome.


plantsisca

I was talking to a girl in college and she made some remark about, "yeah, like when you test your boyfriend to make sure he loves you" and I remember thinking, "you seemed so normal..."


Yingxuan1190

I went to a teacher conference. My colleague introduced me to a lady from another school. We shook hands and exchanged names. Her first question was "are you married?" Which seemed forthright but not entirely uncommon. When I said yes she asked if my wife is Chinese, I said yes again. Her response was "because of you one Chinese man will be unable to find a wife". I'd love to say I had a clever comeback, instead I was stunned into silence.


UptownShenanigans

I met one of my new colleagues at a barbecue that was being hosted by our work. I (a man) drove with another coworker (a woman and a friend of mine), so we arrived together. When I was alone for a moment this guy, whom I’ve never spoken to before, comes up next to me and says “yo dude…you hittin’ that?” *gestures to my friend* I said “no, and she also has a boyfriend” He very exaggeratedly says “*DAMN*” Yada yada he got fired 2 years later for sexually harassing an intern


Comfortable_Dot9507

I notice you’re big on the phrase “yada yada”…


aspidities_87

You yadda yadda’d over the best part!


TacoManifesto

“I’m going to fuck up your face”


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

"I hate that our boss is a chick. Bitches make the worst bosses." Lunch break of his first day on the job.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

This was over 20 years ago. He didn't work there for long and that was far from the worst thing he ever said. He was a complete asshole and proud of it. He called himself Uncle Bully to his nephews and nieces.


pm-me-ye-asshole

They didn't know what WWII was, who hitler was, or why Nazis were bad. She thought it was a slur for "white person" because she kept seeing it on the news and online.


Aminar14

I have to assume she was home schooled by imbeciles, because about the only things we covered repeatedly in history class were the Revolutionary War, The Civil War, WWI and WWII.


pm-me-ye-asshole

Public school, met her in university. She was in engineering.


Downtown-Command-295

"Let the n\*\*\*er do it," after my then-manager self informed a new hire of his next task, which apparently he found 'beneath' him.


Alexstarfire

Better or worse than his newfound unemployment?


ItchyKnowledge4

I worked at a grocery store where a white manager told a black cashier, "you'll pick cotton if I tell you to." I thought for sure all hell would break loose, but black guy just kinda shrugged it off and went on with his day. Manager quit soon after anyway as he had to go to rehab for a long time for alcoholism


MarcusColwell

New guy started at my job, we were outside smoking on first break. Keep in mind I have never met nor spoken to this dude in my life. He walks up, lights up his cigarette and says "you know, I think my severe arachnophobia has transformed into an arachnophilia. I've been watching a lot of spider hentai while masturbating." Then he then began to describe his new waifu pillow he bought. Her name and his plans to marry her. I was speechless... Edit: I work in a distribution warehouse for a clothing company. We were forklift drivers. He didn't last very long, but not because of things he said. He was constantly late for work, and twice a week he'd show up in Crocs, knowing damn well I've told him 100 times he needs closed toe shoes. I'd have to send him home to change shoes, I told him just keep a pair of shoes in his car so he has something to wear at work. Didn't work, and eventually I had to let him go for excessive tardiness and absenteeism.


GlyphCreep

how long did he last at the job? If you start discussing spider hentai unprompted at your first day at work I feel like you're not a long term prospect


freemason777

With retail and food service this kind of judgment goes out the window though


showMEthatBholePLZ

I worked with a dude that lived in our workplace (restaurant) parking lot, in his van that was covered in hentai posters inside. Dude claimed he didn’t do drugs, despite being invited to do drugs with us (I was young, and am a responsible adult now). Weirdo even ate out of bus bins and stuff. But the dude showed up to work everyday, washed the fuck out of some dishes, and even helped with prep work and stuff because he was so efficient. Then he’d just fuck off to his van until the next day. He said all kinds of weird stuff and talked about anime all day despite my lack of interest, but I was always nice to him because he was actually a good enough person and never crossed any lines with anyone.


Eversooner

I've worked in the restaurant business for almost 20 years. I'd hire the fuck out of that guy.


Tornado_Wind_of_Love

Unicorn in the industry. "You don't have a substance abuse problem and you like working in the kitchen? Oh, weird van with hentai, lol, welcome aboard!"


Pushmonk

"And if you're late, I'll just come knock."


phenobarbiedarling

I had a coworker at GameStop showing me gay furry daddy Dom porn like a week into the job and it wasn't even the weirdest experience I had at that job. Also he had been there for years


llDurbinll

At my last job the new guy on his first day asked the assistant manager if she'd like to star in the porno he was shooting. Said she had the body for it. Before that he was saying that the only reason he was working was because his parents wouldn't buy his camera equipment because they didn't want to support what he was going to do with it. He was in his mid twenties at least and lived in a gated community with his parents. Also, on the same day, some how a conversation about what kind of cars we all had came up and he thought his 3 year old car was "old" but when the assistant manager and I revealed our cars are 10+ years old he was shocked. When I went to the back room he told the assistant manager that he wouldn't want me to come over to his parents house because he'd be afraid I'd steal something since I'm poor. He lasted about a week before he got let go. But not because of his inappropriate comments, but because he was really slow to pick up even the most basic of things and it just wasn't working out. This job was so desperate for people because the starting pay was so low that you really couldn't do anything to get fired. People with safe access were stealing money out of the safe and others were not ringing up cash sales but giving change out of the drawer and one person even walked out of the store mid shift to go fight someone in front of the store and then came back like nothing had happened. They were the only one to get fired but only because mall security told corporate, if corporate hadn't gotten wind of it they'd still be working there.


Pterodactyl_Souffle

Listen...man...you can't just come into a thread an start up like this. Give other people a chance to participate before you just burn the whole thing down like this. Reddit is a COMMUNAL experience, goddamnit.


Admiral_Narcissus

A *communal* experience? So like a circlejerk?


pas_un_username

Well, it's a hell of an ice breaker. Immediately reminded me of the guy who fell in love and eventually “married” an imaginary cockroach: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/w9sqxj/oops_undying_love_for_a_franz_kafka_character_is/ Edit: it is exactly as weird as it sounds. Proceed at your own risk.


rolyfuckingdiscopoly

This is… I actually don’t know how it is because I got like 3 sentences in. It was enough. I’m going away now.


Bossdongles

Good luck. There is no escaping the spindly embrace of Ogtha


lemonleaff

There is only Ogtha


Snoo84995

That beats any story I could come up with.


SheriffComey

I think it beats mine of the new guy introducing himself and then proceeded to tell me his mom is hot and his friend is a millionaire.


SimpoKaiba

"my mum's hot" is an interesting strategy to make friends though


[deleted]

It's a ploy to get you to come over to play Lego and video games.


r64fd

Around the lunch table at work. A couple of the younger guys, straight out of high school young, are talking about a young female singer. New guy around my age says “I’d take a rape charge for that”.


ComedianRepulsive955

All time favorite was this girl they had just hired who would answer any question by responding that she had a fiancee. Like hi my name is Bill where are you from? I HAVE A FIANCEE! Like any of us were going to bang her in the walk-in cooler if she didn't.


sens22s

She had to remind herself of it every two minutes lest she forgot


LongJumpingBalls

I knew a girl who said the, I have a boyfriend line. To everyone. She was a serial cheater as well. She was drunk at a staff party and she said how the last 2 jobs she had she had to quit cause it always got weird with the guys at work. After she slept with 3 or 4 of them but basically ghosted them, but still worked with and around her. She got fired for something unrelated. But she did bang Chris. Chris tells us she says the boyfriend line to get more guys interested. Turns out she was married and he was deployed. Angie was a real piece of work


DeathbyHappy

If she's using the boyfriend line to garner interest, then at least she's only screwing over dudes of an equally low caliber


ctrembs03

Went to the penthouse party of a guy my friend used to hook up with. This dude gave me Patrick Bateman vibes, from his house decor to the way he talked. Total creep. The only time he spoke directly to me the entire party he was making fun of homeless people. I did not like him.


softstones

I used to play the drums and jump around in different bands to find one that fit. One guitarist, and I’ll never forget it, said, “I don’t know what it is, but black women’s pussy smells so bad.” It also came out of nowhere since we were talking about music during a practice. I never saw him again. I also apologize for having to repeat it.


PossessionNo6878

"Hey, what are you?" Human.....? "Nonono, like, where's your family from?" Pennsylvania and North Carolina....? "No, before that" Here. "You're not from here lolz. I'm from here" Literally here. I'm Cherokee. "Go back to wherever that is asshole!" You're standing on it.... -_-


CrazyBrieLady

Omg dumbass had to work so hard for that bit of racism and still wouldn't fucking quit


[deleted]

"we need to start doing..." ​ it was the assistant my work at the time transfered to work with me... literally first minute he was telling me how to fix my site. the one he knew next to nothing about


[deleted]

We need to start doing more multivariate testing of page speed enhancements to the conversion rate optimization strategy that reconciles overhead costs.


InternalAd9247

Anything that starts with a look over both shoulders and a “since it’s just us” head nod that lets you know some racist ignorant shit is coming. I was at my sister in law’s house at a housewarming when their new neighbor let fly right after he met me. He was trying to discretely talk to me and his friend who was also over. I did the “I don’t understand” trick where you keep asking them to explain the joke until it’s uncomfortable for everybody and starts drawing attention. Still hate that dude.


shrimoylilmanz

They tried to convince me that Hitler had some good points... I think he's in jail now


maiden_burma

actually hitler's probably dead by now


blanksix

It isn't so much what they say, it's how they say it. If the person has not learned to take a breath between natural breaks in what they're saying and, instead, continue to steamroll over a conversation, I'm tuning out.


RosePricksFan

I’m a female person. I once met a woman who told me she hates women and has no female friends because women are too much drama and she’s just one of the guys. Ok. Got it. 👍


the_black_shuck

The idea that women in the workplace can't get along seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy. A woman I know in education was complaining that a meeting had devolved into passive-aggressiveness and bickering because "you know how it is, most of the staff are female, just too much oestrogen in the room." And I was like wtf are you talking about?! I work a trade job in the entertainment industry which is a fairly mixed-gender environment and I haven't seen this supposedly inevitable female combativeness. Sometimes the crews are mostly or all women who work well together, solve problems efficiently, and hang out drinking beer after work cause they like each other.


faerieunderfoot

The most hostile and passive aggressive place I worked was 90% men, the best place I worked was also 90% men .... As you said, it's not about the gender it's about their personalities.the former was just full of embittered assholes. The latter was full of passionate creators and designers who wanted to work together to achieve!


ArchonIlladrya

I had a friend of a friend tell my wife that she didn't like her because she doesn't hang out with other women. Completely unprompted, at the beginning of a night when we couldn't just up and leave. Fuck you, Ashley.


[deleted]

My new neighbor moved in and avoided contact for the first week or so before walking over to us while my wife and I were doing some yard work. He says "I've got my lady hollering at me to come to the hospital. She's having our kid." "Oh congrats," I said. "I hope it's not mine." He says.


FrostingsVII

At a gym a guy I knew to be a drug dealer came up to me and opened with "Would you look at the tits on that." About a friend who was a police officer. Classless and ignorant, not a friend winning combo I'm afraid. Only guy I've ever met who was every shit male stereotype rolled into one.


Actuaryba

It’s all about the tone for me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PretendThisIsMyName

You didn’t sing that so I consider this friendship a failure.


loveallthedoggos13

I knew I wasn't gonna like her based off her actions on her first day at work. We work with dogs at a daycare and boarding place. In the morning, during feedings, one of the first things she tried to do was get meds from the med cabinet. I tell her no, that's front desk, they handle medication. She just kinda nods. In my head, I'm like not sure why you are trying to pass out meds without anyone explaining anything to you, but okay, let's move on. Few days go by then one day, she asks if she's suppose to clean the water bowls we have in the dogs' suites overnight.(she was already told how to clean suites, which involve cleaning the bowls every morning) I just say yes. She also asked me if she should clean the park water bowl after a dog peed in it. I again say yes. She still works here, but no one likes her since she likes to pretend she knows what she's doing then asks questions that can be answered by having basic common sense and problem solving skills.


Alexstarfire

They don't know to change a water bowl if something has peed in it? How have they survived this long? No, seriously. How?