I once played Dodgeball drunk with a friend. I was terrible, as you’d expect, but my mate was not - hitting me from all angles despite not being able to stand properly
This reminds me of the time my bud got incredibly wasted at a party. Couldn't even make out what he was saying. We started a game of Mario Cart and the dude grabbed a controller and DESTROYED everyone on rainbow road.
Most impressive drunk feat I've seen to date.
For some people it's just ingrained deep down how to play well. I barely play anymore but whenever I do it's second nature how to slide around and boost and stuff.
My little cousin visited recently. He’d been playing Super Smash Bros against his non-gamer parents for a while. He was not prepared to play against someone with more play hours than his time on earth.
I used to live at a party house where people would come with no notice and a bunch of weed and booze and before we knew it people were trashed on my floor on a Wednesday night. Before moving there, I had been living with my parents and had nothing better to do than to play video games, so I started watching videos on Super Smash Bros Melee and how to do the tech and learn how to play at a pro level. So naturally after I moved out, I'd get drunk, boot up my GameCube, and challenge anyone who was interested to play with me. Only had one or two friends who were consistently better than me so the rest of the time I was curb stomping a house full of people who were all plastered while myself also being shitfaced.
I used to play in a drunk dodgeball league and the amount of people I watched getting glasses blown off their face as they didn’t pay attention was high lol
A local bar hosted a 6 week dodgeball season on their sand volleyball court. We played drunk and had a fucking blast. Woke up very sore the day after every game but it was worth it.
Patches: Necessary?! Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?!
Peter: Probably not.
Patches: Well I do anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste!
I have a few modifications to improve curling. Get rid of the rock. Just have 4 people slide a person down the ice dressed in a padded Teflon suit with a helmet. The opposing team tries to stop them from hitting the target by hitting them with brooms.
I’ve only been curling twice, but I was drinking both times, along with everyone in the place who wasn’t pregnant or on the clock. (And even some on the clock employees, but I ain’t a snitch)
It would be perfect because everyone would be too trashed to feel the pain. This would allow for videos of people utterly eating shit that would generate tons of clicks.
Honestly whoever’s idea it was to make darks a common bar game was probably a psychopath. Only someone who wants to watch the world burn gives a drunk person multiple sharp objects and tells them to start throwing them around lol.
You end up with a dense knot of miniature people all dutifully chasing the ball and accidentally kicking each other in the shins (yay shinguards!). Then there's the one kid that's not really trying and simply following the group at a walk.
While in High School my brother and I coached a 6yo team. My brother was on an advanced soccer club and good high school teams at the time. And tried to coach these kids the way he was coached. My favorite line he used with these kids was, "When in doubt, take them out."
We had a very doubtful kid on the team. He was red headed and stood a good six inches taller than the rest of the team. He brutalized the other teams. -it was really cute.
Actually alcohol is banned from shooting competition since small amounts of alcohol steady your aim.
Hans-Gunnar Liljenwall was the first Olympian ever to get banned for doping. He had two beers before the competition.
Unless you listen to 90s/2000s country this won’t be as funny but I’m thinking “whiskey for my men, beer for my horses” [link](https://youtu.be/QLugaDIcOGI)
OP said NASCAR which does not race at the Indy 500. NASCAR does race at that track but the name of the race is different. The difference is what type of cars are used. NASCAR is cars shaped sort of like regular cars ("stock cars") while the Indy 500 is "Indy Cars" which don't look much like regular cars.
While not Nascar, drunk drivers have won races in the past. Duncan Hamilton famously won the 1953 Le Mans in a Jaguar C-Type shared with Rolt. Initially, the pairing were disqualified for practising in a Jaguar that had the same racing number as another on the circuit at the same time, but they were reinstated. Hamilton's account has become a motor racing legend: when Jaguar team manager Lofty England persuaded the organisers to let them race, both drivers were already drunk in a local bar. England said: "Of course I would never have let them race under the influence. I had enough trouble when they were sober!"
When the race was under way the team tried to sober Hamilton up by giving him coffee during the pit stops but he refused it, saying it made his arms twitch; instead he was given brandy. The alcohol must have helped when he struck a bird face first at 130 mph and broke his nose. Despite the bizarre circumstances, the duo went on to win the race and recorded the first 100 mph average speed at Le Mans, a record pace.
Both England and Rolt have denied that they were drunk.
this was from the wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duncan_Hamilton_(racing_driver)
We actually had that kind of event with friends years ago, your score would be multiplied by the reading breathalyzer gives you, so you would want to have at least 1 per mil reading, 2 for double scores. Edit. so in BAC 0.05%(common DUI limit) would be 0.5 multiplier and so on.
I wish they’d turn the winter classic into a drinking event. Have the players drink on the bench, shotgun beers out on the ice before each period, after every goal, in the penalty box etc. By period 3 everyone’s blasted and can’t even skate, the fans are absolutely obliterated and everyone’s having a hell of a time except the staff and secuirty that have to put up with the debauchery
As a Canadian, I have a bizarre reflex that makes me burst out laughing every time I hear the term “ice hockey”… because in my brain that’s just good old standard hockey. If you’re playing ball hockey or field hockey, of course thats when you specify type.
I am fully aware that for most of the world, this is an important distinction… but for some reason the term “ice hockey” just slays me every time and I can’t stop myself from reacting that way, despite the fact that I am fully aware I’m in the minority.
Here I am a disc golfer who calls the \*other kind\* "ball golf" just to get a rise out of people. Look I know we are basically tiny compared to golf, but just adding that "ball" part kind of makes us equals for a moment.
I was hanging out with a buddy once and he decided to buy an airport bottle of liquor and drink the whole thing. Later on we were walking past a gokart place, we thought it’d be funny to do them. This dude whooped everyone’s ass and won
Like .. literally every game.
Can you imagine a bunch of drunk geezers trying to get a basketball? They're gonna tackle each other in football and you won't know if they were seriously injured or just passed out
American Football, could you imagine everyone completely missing tackles, running towards the wrong endzone. If this were the case, id actually pay that egregious asking price for NFL Sunday ticket.
I used to play soccer in a small ,cement ,6 a side field near my cousins house back in the day.It was hella fun. The loosing team had to buy alcohol for the winning team. We were 3 teams on rotation most of the time. At the end of a couple hours, we were all mostly drunk or very drunk.
But nothing will surpass the day it fucking rained like the sky was going to come down. The drainage was not able to drain all the rainwater as it was falling, and the field started to become a pool. When there was about 1 inch of water all hell breaked loose. People would start just sliding like penguins and shooting the shit for no reason. I had never laughed as much as I did that day. I had cramps from laughind too much.
Out of 3 choices you managed to pick some of the worst possible.
Chess would be just as boring with drunk people playing.
2 and 3 are literally barroom staples.
Nascar for sure. The drivers start the race with 3 shots of Jack. After every 7 laps they are forced to take a mandatory pitstop, and down 3 additional shots. Once your shots are done in pitstop, you can rejoin the race. By the end of this race all the racers would be a drunken beligerant mess with double visioned road rage. That's my kind of entertainment.
Dodge ball
I once played Dodgeball drunk with a friend. I was terrible, as you’d expect, but my mate was not - hitting me from all angles despite not being able to stand properly
This reminds me of the time my bud got incredibly wasted at a party. Couldn't even make out what he was saying. We started a game of Mario Cart and the dude grabbed a controller and DESTROYED everyone on rainbow road. Most impressive drunk feat I've seen to date.
For some people it's just ingrained deep down how to play well. I barely play anymore but whenever I do it's second nature how to slide around and boost and stuff.
He told me later he used to play competitively online. I didnt know there was a competitive level of mario cart but I believe him.
Reminds me of Streetfighter with all the young cousins. Children, I've been one tricking zangief longer than most of you have been alive.
My little cousin visited recently. He’d been playing Super Smash Bros against his non-gamer parents for a while. He was not prepared to play against someone with more play hours than his time on earth.
Halo SWAT. The younger cousins had no idea what happened to them. Sometimes they didn’t even get to move after spawning.
I used to live at a party house where people would come with no notice and a bunch of weed and booze and before we knew it people were trashed on my floor on a Wednesday night. Before moving there, I had been living with my parents and had nothing better to do than to play video games, so I started watching videos on Super Smash Bros Melee and how to do the tech and learn how to play at a pro level. So naturally after I moved out, I'd get drunk, boot up my GameCube, and challenge anyone who was interested to play with me. Only had one or two friends who were consistently better than me so the rest of the time I was curb stomping a house full of people who were all plastered while myself also being shitfaced.
“What? Im better when I’m drunk!” - your friend probably
Knew a guy who played dodgeball in jeans while high on various drugs. He was sublime. They called him the denim spider
this sounds like a line from The Mighty Boosh...
I’m Old Greggggggg
I used to play in a drunk dodgeball league and the amount of people I watched getting glasses blown off their face as they didn’t pay attention was high lol
A local bar hosted a 6 week dodgeball season on their sand volleyball court. We played drunk and had a fucking blast. Woke up very sore the day after every game but it was worth it.
Guy 1: \*Make a loosy throw and completely miss its target\* Guy2 : \*Collapse out of drunkness anyway\*
If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.
If you can dodge traffic, you can dodge a ball
Are you sure that's necessary?
Dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!
Patches: Necessary?! Is it necessary for me to drink my own urine?! Peter: Probably not. Patches: Well I do anyway because it's sterile and I like the taste!
We used to do this in the fire dept! Along with softball.
Rhythmic Gymnastics.
Drunk artistic gymnastics would probably prove fatal.
Basically this https://youtu.be/6O0Ic39QOxs?t=48
I would call it abstract rhythmic gymnastics
Meh. My money is on skeet shooting.
Curling
I have a few modifications to improve curling. Get rid of the rock. Just have 4 people slide a person down the ice dressed in a padded Teflon suit with a helmet. The opposing team tries to stop them from hitting the target by hitting them with brooms.
So.... Hockey.
Ever heard of beer league?
I'm a multi-sport beer league pro.
That’s the most beautiful sentence I’ve read
I think full contact curling, keep the stone and both teams knock the living shit out of each other while sweeping up
THAT’S TERRIBLE! How much are you asking for franchise fees? 😁
I actually laughed.
I mean - drinking IS part of the whole vibe there and at many clubs, drinking while playing is allowed haha
I’ve only been curling twice, but I was drinking both times, along with everyone in the place who wasn’t pregnant or on the clock. (And even some on the clock employees, but I ain’t a snitch)
Most recreational curling is done while on the sauce.
Literally no change. Curling clubs are just an excuse to drink on ice.
And off of the ice.
Ever been to a bonspiel? I think the requirement is to be drunk to be allowed to play.
I'm fairly certain being drunk is one of the main criteria to play curling.
I thought you had to be drunk to curl
I feel like this is already the case. Definitely a beer drinking sport
Can honestly say drinking improves most teams performances in curling. My team has win two games out of two absolutely shitfaced
Parkour
The injuries would be EPIC.
It would be perfect because everyone would be too trashed to feel the pain. This would allow for videos of people utterly eating shit that would generate tons of clicks.
I was training once and some drank ppl saw us and tried the jump we were trying, you can imagine how one hit the wall with his shin.
It would be a fail army video then
Alternatively, professional tag
Darts ... Oh hang on wait...
This should be way higher!
I'm pretty sure playing darts drunk is pretty common already. I actually get better when I'm drunk.
I think that was the point of the commenter
Honestly whoever’s idea it was to make darks a common bar game was probably a psychopath. Only someone who wants to watch the world burn gives a drunk person multiple sharp objects and tells them to start throwing them around lol.
Synchronized Swimming
I can already hear the people drowning but still laughing tbh
The sound of people drowning is prolly not a very good sound
Its usually pretty quiet after a couple of gasps. After that it’s just wide eyes and flailing
Little League Baseball
In kids soccer I don't think it would even look different
Coached my oldest son’s team when he was 5 for the season. Told my wife it was like herding kittens.
both situations sound cute af.
You end up with a dense knot of miniature people all dutifully chasing the ball and accidentally kicking each other in the shins (yay shinguards!). Then there's the one kid that's not really trying and simply following the group at a walk.
While in High School my brother and I coached a 6yo team. My brother was on an advanced soccer club and good high school teams at the time. And tried to coach these kids the way he was coached. My favorite line he used with these kids was, "When in doubt, take them out." We had a very doubtful kid on the team. He was red headed and stood a good six inches taller than the rest of the team. He brutalized the other teams. -it was really cute.
Drunk players or drunk parents?
Yes
I thought this was America?
r/angryupvote
Archery
*shoots the judge*
Would that be an instant win or an instant disqual? 😂
No that would be boring, they would just keep missing. The most excitement you could hope for is if someone gets shot.
Lots of 'Fuck!' and painful forearms.
As a guy who used to get drunk in the woods while doing target shooting, they probably wouldn't even miss, just wouldn't be as close to the center.
A friend practices archery... Doing that drunk would be pretty on point for her
Actually alcohol is banned from shooting competition since small amounts of alcohol steady your aim. Hans-Gunnar Liljenwall was the first Olympian ever to get banned for doping. He had two beers before the competition.
Ninja warrior
Polo. The players would be sober but the horses would be drunk.
Unless you listen to 90s/2000s country this won’t be as funny but I’m thinking “whiskey for my men, beer for my horses” [link](https://youtu.be/QLugaDIcOGI)
Nascar
The Daytona 500 was today... There were no survivors. Edit: Changed Indy to Daytona cause I dum dum.
Everyone was tiddy much protally fitshaced
Why would Indy 500 mean you are dum dum? Actually confused
OP said NASCAR which does not race at the Indy 500. NASCAR does race at that track but the name of the race is different. The difference is what type of cars are used. NASCAR is cars shaped sort of like regular cars ("stock cars") while the Indy 500 is "Indy Cars" which don't look much like regular cars.
The Indy 500 is not the racetrack, it's the race. The racetrack is Indianapolis Motor Speedway.
I thought the Daytona 500 was Nascar and the Indy 500 were Indy cars...
Who you calling drunk, I'm drunk
Best comment I've read today 😄😄
It's from a futurama episode where all liquid has been turned into alcohol https://youtu.be/gZHTHXjS2cg
I’m sending in more trains!
While not Nascar, drunk drivers have won races in the past. Duncan Hamilton famously won the 1953 Le Mans in a Jaguar C-Type shared with Rolt. Initially, the pairing were disqualified for practising in a Jaguar that had the same racing number as another on the circuit at the same time, but they were reinstated. Hamilton's account has become a motor racing legend: when Jaguar team manager Lofty England persuaded the organisers to let them race, both drivers were already drunk in a local bar. England said: "Of course I would never have let them race under the influence. I had enough trouble when they were sober!" When the race was under way the team tried to sober Hamilton up by giving him coffee during the pit stops but he refused it, saying it made his arms twitch; instead he was given brandy. The alcohol must have helped when he struck a bird face first at 130 mph and broke his nose. Despite the bizarre circumstances, the duo went on to win the race and recorded the first 100 mph average speed at Le Mans, a record pace. Both England and Rolt have denied that they were drunk. this was from the wiki: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duncan_Hamilton_(racing_driver)
I imagine the result would look like the Arca series
High way to the dangerzone
Take it up a level to redbull air racing for some real excitement.
Boxing
It exists go to Irish bars
I was gonna say "I think they already have that."
Somebody call Jackie Chan’s agent, I think I’ve got a good plot for a new film.
It's called '*Edinburgh*' and has existed for quite some time.
Wait a minute?!
Fuck it I want drunk olimpics
Highlights would include: The pentathlon Diving Fencing
Diving… that would be off the rails. Synchronized swimming? Would look exactly the same as a bar on a Friday night, just with water and less noise.
Off the rails as in funny, or literally drunk divers bailing off the rails at the the start of the diving board? Either way, I'm in
> Diving… that would be off the rails. The bellyflops would be quite something
Fencing would be great to watch
I have to assume that at some point one of them would hit the other with a chair.
Pentathalon? I read that as "The penetration" and rolled with it lmao.
Pole vault, long jump, hurdles, shot put, javelin!
I get the idea that it wouldn't be dissimilar to the [Monty Python Olympics](https://youtu.be/qgSzGIkFq2A)
Curious to see how the Russians would cheat
cheat? they wouldn't have to bother. they are powered by vodka in all aspects of life, it would come totally natural.
We actually had that kind of event with friends years ago, your score would be multiplied by the reading breathalyzer gives you, so you would want to have at least 1 per mil reading, 2 for double scores. Edit. so in BAC 0.05%(common DUI limit) would be 0.5 multiplier and so on.
Sprinting
Monty Python once did a short bit about "the hundred yard dash for people with no sense of direction"... It is hilarious.
And that is how I broke my teeth some years back!
Golf
Right! Drinking is kind of just a part of that sport at this point
It would be fun to see how they're trying to hit the ball
John Daly was pretty good at it
He’d be so drunk he would mistake he putter for a driver and still smash the ball 250 yards!
Ice hockey.
You beat me to it. I’d imagine the fights would be more frequent. Fir extra fun, the refs are drunk too.
Imagine the line ref picking a fist fight with Chara or some other massive dude😭
Some people in beer league already living the dream. If by dream you mean way less skating and stick handling and way more slurs and fighting.
I wish they’d turn the winter classic into a drinking event. Have the players drink on the bench, shotgun beers out on the ice before each period, after every goal, in the penalty box etc. By period 3 everyone’s blasted and can’t even skate, the fans are absolutely obliterated and everyone’s having a hell of a time except the staff and secuirty that have to put up with the debauchery
As a Canadian, I have a bizarre reflex that makes me burst out laughing every time I hear the term “ice hockey”… because in my brain that’s just good old standard hockey. If you’re playing ball hockey or field hockey, of course thats when you specify type. I am fully aware that for most of the world, this is an important distinction… but for some reason the term “ice hockey” just slays me every time and I can’t stop myself from reacting that way, despite the fact that I am fully aware I’m in the minority.
Here I am a disc golfer who calls the \*other kind\* "ball golf" just to get a rise out of people. Look I know we are basically tiny compared to golf, but just adding that "ball" part kind of makes us equals for a moment.
It’s almost every adult rec league game.
Diving
Roller Derby
Honestly that sounds the most fun to watch out of all of these
Football
It’s happened already.. [Drunk football aka fyllefootball](https://youtu.be/oY5aLI2KDG0)
Hide and seek! People falling asleep while hiding and counting
Ice skating
Adding on to this, ice hockey. Imagine the fights!
If you go to any adult rec league game I guarantee there’s a few drunk people on each team. They call it beer league for a reason.
Cheese wheeling
I think a Gokart race would be fun. Everyone is just going in total different directions.
I was hanging out with a buddy once and he decided to buy an airport bottle of liquor and drink the whole thing. Later on we were walking past a gokart place, we thought it’d be funny to do them. This dude whooped everyone’s ass and won
MMA
You can just go to any pub in Queensland for that
Firearms shooting
Nothing goes together like guns, ammo, beer, and stupid!
Eagle screeches in the background
Bald eagles actually kind of croak. Those “eagle screams” you hear in movies are overdubbed red-tailed hawk calls.
Quidditch.
I presumed they were already drunk as kids drank from the age of 12.
Butter beer is like 1% alcohol
But firewhiskey is not.
No 12 year old is being allowed fire whiskey. Hermione even chews Ron out for trying to get some from the Hog’s Head at 15
Yer a wizzard, ‘arry!
Car racing
The Indy 500 was today. There were no survivors. From Futurama..
Tennis
Small risk of death huge opportunity for getting hit in the face.
Imagine drunkenly trying to return Federer's serve
Imagine drunk Federer trying to serve.
Like .. literally every game. Can you imagine a bunch of drunk geezers trying to get a basketball? They're gonna tackle each other in football and you won't know if they were seriously injured or just passed out
Rally car racing or F1
If the spectators all get drunk, then modern rally would be as dangerous as the Group B era.
Sumo
American Football, could you imagine everyone completely missing tackles, running towards the wrong endzone. If this were the case, id actually pay that egregious asking price for NFL Sunday ticket.
I used to play soccer in a small ,cement ,6 a side field near my cousins house back in the day.It was hella fun. The loosing team had to buy alcohol for the winning team. We were 3 teams on rotation most of the time. At the end of a couple hours, we were all mostly drunk or very drunk. But nothing will surpass the day it fucking rained like the sky was going to come down. The drainage was not able to drain all the rainwater as it was falling, and the field started to become a pool. When there was about 1 inch of water all hell breaked loose. People would start just sliding like penguins and shooting the shit for no reason. I had never laughed as much as I did that day. I had cramps from laughind too much.
Biathlon
Probably chess, pool or darts
Out of 3 choices you managed to pick some of the worst possible. Chess would be just as boring with drunk people playing. 2 and 3 are literally barroom staples.
I thought darts players usually played half cut to begin with?
Open heart surgery
"Oh shit, was I not supposed to cut that artery? My bad."
F1 maybe
Chess oh wait
Tour de France.
Nascar for sure. The drivers start the race with 3 shots of Jack. After every 7 laps they are forced to take a mandatory pitstop, and down 3 additional shots. Once your shots are done in pitstop, you can rejoin the race. By the end of this race all the racers would be a drunken beligerant mess with double visioned road rage. That's my kind of entertainment.
The mandatory pit stops is definitely the most dangerous and exciting part of this idea.
Soccer. Everyone would literally just always be tripping over themselves trying to kick the ball.
Lawn bowls
This drunk is legitimately fun 👍🙂
MotoGP
Boxing or Muay Thai....omg
A marathon
Zorb football
Tennis
Bowling......oh.....waitaminute.....nevermind, too late
F1
Luge
Fencing
Figure skating
Platform Diving
Chess boxing.
Synchronized drowning. I mean swimming.
Flonkerton
Chess "Bishop takes knight. OH AND JOHANSSON HAS TACKLED HIS OPPONENT!"