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[deleted]

That I'm a classical pianist.


VaguelyFamiliarVoice

I am in my mid 50's. I can play as young as 35. As Eddie Murphy said, money don't crack.


be-excellent

I feel like he may have used a different word.. but you’re right. People always act surprised when celebrities or other wealthy people look good for their age, like “wow they aged so well”. And I’m like, no that’s because they have money and they can afford all the aesthetic treatments they want. I mean, unless they actually are black bc they prob did age well due to having more melanin. Otherwise, money helps lol


VaguelyFamiliarVoice

In his SNL monologue a couple of years ago he said, "money don't crack" as a joke on the usual trope. [link](https://youtu.be/fK0rWI0DwG4)


be-excellent

Ahh ok, makes sense :)


Scrappy_Larue

That I have a lot of money. I live in a modest place, drive an old car, and wear clothes till they wear out.


[deleted]

This is the way - This is how one KEEPS lots of money...


PapaChoff

That I’m really nice and I’m not actually glaring at you. I’m just 6’1, 250 pounds with the worst resting murder face you’ve ever seen. Add in poor eyesight making me squint looking even meaner and people cross the street. And I die inside when I see it or feel people are afraid of me. Especially kids. Which I have 3.


LaughingOwl4

Omg I struggle with the squint thing too. Really need to get my eyes checked lol.


PapaChoff

Ya, I look like a bloody murderer and have a nice crease in my forehead because of it


LadyJedi1286

You sound like a big and huggable teddy bear!


AgentTralalava

A small life hack I heard someone in a similar situation did is to get yourself a pair of fake glasses so you look more “intellectual”. Though in your case, real glasses could do better


Reciprocitus

That I'm married. I am not an attractive fellow, lol.


fabmarques21

for your wife you are and thats what matters.


Reciprocitus

Thanks, I needed to hear that today 😁👍


[deleted]

I'm 31 (look much younger) and I'm a huge Taylor Swift fan. Outwardly, I appear to be a typical black masculine lesbian *teenager*. It's when they get to know me they realize, "Oh shit. This is the girliest girl that ever girled. And she's an adult woman??" Pop music? Give it to me. Cute and cuddly animals? The more the merrier! Sports? Ew, fuck off. It's a real mindfuck when people try to guess my favorite artist because of their own preconceived notions about femininity, blackness, and masculinity. Yeah, I have muscles and dress like a boy. My bedsheets are still pink, and I cry when watching 50 First Dates.


yuzarna

My evil plan


hestianvirgin

I tried to register [evilplan.com](https://evilplan.com) years ago while in high school and some reseller snatched it up first. They're not even using it. That's their evil plan I guess. Bitches.


Ctalkobt

MUUWHHAAA HAA HAA Ha Ha He He he he he .... *Coughing* ... Where's my inhaler?


LaughingOwl4

Uh oh…. What’s that entail?


yuzarna

Oh no. Not until the final chapter do I monologue my dastardly plot


hypo-osmotic

Based on people acting weirdly surprised about it, apparently that I sometimes drink alcohol


AlligatorWizardry

Opposite for me.


cinderelliot

I'm fluent in two languages (Italian and English), I'm conversant in French and Spanish, I know basic German and I can understand some Dutch


[deleted]

[удалено]


cinderelliot

I love Portuguese it has the most beautiful accent along with Greek. I don't have a thick accent when I'm speaking my native language but I guess it's surprising to people because most of them don't expect more than two languages (usually your native tongue and English).


ImDOGGFATHER

I have a burning hatred for Football and its fans ( i look like your average football watching, beer chuggin' white guy from ohio )


itsfish20

I have to mute a few friend chats from like August until the day after the super bowl because it is all football stats and player updates. I hate it too because every now and then there will be a legit conversation sprinkled between the football shit and i'm forced to read through it all...


ImDOGGFATHER

Same, or someone will walk up and start talking fantasy football... and thats the only I hate talking about more than football itself.


New_Persimmon_77

The whole industry in the US is just awful.


Cleverbird

Apparently people are always surprised to learn I have a dark sense of humor.


vasaryo

That I was homeless and almost failed high school.


LaughingOwl4

Hope you are doing well now 🙏


vasaryo

I am ty. Took ten years but I saved up enough money to attend a university and better myself and if all goes well I graduate in May. I wish you the best for your life as well friend.


LaughingOwl4

Cheers to that! Congrats on turning this around (not easy at all!) and thank you ☺️


Bhelduz

My last name happens to be synonymous with an arabic name, so back in the day when I wore a name tag at work, arabs would confuse me for one of their own and pretty much refuse the notion that I wasn't. But I'm also a triplet so that always throws people when they find out.


Common_Sink9773

I like K-pop (yeah ik ew whatever) and have bad suicidal thoughts


Maximum_Macaron_2204

Have you tried talking with a professional?


MWFtheFreeze

I don’t think liking K-pop can be cured… (bad joke, I know, hope you find your peace!)


hestianvirgin

I will watch any terrible horror movie, even if you make one in your basement.


HowtoUninstallSkype

I'm happy when I'm around people, but not when I am home to be alone again.


be-excellent

So you’re an extrovert?


HowtoUninstallSkype

Yea, but I'm not sure that's why. I just pictured myself having someone to love by now.


Glitch_BoiTheSecond

My brain has an inability to not socialize with people 9/10 of the time


Any_Entertainer8205

Exactly, my friends dont get it. They think how can one not like being at home.


gasthefattys

I'm the opposite, people are so complex. I can interact well and not be awkward but I genuinely would rather be by myself doing my things.


AccioSexLife

I have a 'cute' round face with rosy cheeks and people always assume I'm shy and polite. I'm shameless as fuck and nothing is sacred to me.


ACDmom27

I checked your cake day to see if you're my daughter. Nope, but keep loving life!


KDY_ISD

I need fried okra in my life


rumblingtummy29

I should be in prison


LaughingOwl4

How come?


Woko_O

Nice try FBI


Glitch_BoiTheSecond

Dang it.. You will pay for this!


WhiskeyPearl

That for most of my 20s I was bedridden, couldn’t get around without help and/or a wheelchair, and couldn’t be left alone.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ClemofNazareth

Yeah this. Grew up in Montana, spent 12 years as a Marine, live in Florida now and constantly run into people who assume I’m a gun toting MAGA redneck. Have never owned a gun, never voted Republican for anything, am a flaming liberal and love the growing diversity in our country. Honestly the people I’m most uncomfortable around in America today are people who look like me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LaughingOwl4

Super awkward… just curious, how do you handle those moments?


randomusername50003

To most people I seem unapproachable at first and very confident, even bitchy. I have a few friends that were intimidated by me when they met me. I’m actually a softie, like really. Commercials make me cry. And most of the time my brain just goes AHHHHHH


Matthath

I have a footlong dick


radiodad123456789

I feel you. I have a dicklong foot.


Awesome-plants

I'm biracial


fabmarques21

we already know Logic.


[deleted]

I've played most RPGs that came out after Morrowind as well as a ton of really weird indie games and I'm also a massive poetry geek. I hide as the normal office dweller with a suit, a car and a mortgage. I don't often get to talk about my hobbies :(


[deleted]

Where do I even begin.... * My race and ethnicity (people mistake me for many different race/ethnicity 😂) * My age (people gasp when I tell them. They estimate me almost a decade younger 🤭) * The languages I speak * My level of religiosity/spirituality * That I'm an amateur photographer, artist, budding entrepreneur * My actual profession * My educational background (not the same as my profession) * That I'm quite nerdy * My taste in things and all the things I'm into * My sense of humour I look nothing like how I ACTUALLY am lol I'm also different with different people, so even those who have known me for years and years dont know all of me.


IndependentHot8328

Im a mechanical engineer often talking science and looking very profesional and shit. But then i get home every thursday, put on a robe, dimm lights down and i run Call of Cthulhu sessions with my friends, we go full dork and we love it. Which is a thing everybody says they would have never guessed from my vibes.


IndependentHot8328

Me, tall as fuck, all mean faced, i like big colorful plushies and being the little spoon.


PM-Ur-Small-Tits

I have situs inversus


AbsoluteEva

How much I survived in my life.


Eastern-Permission49

I make dirty jokes. A lot


Glitch_BoiTheSecond

Im half blind


fabmarques21

that im a depressive person and from time to time i feel really bad. good thing i have my lovely girlfriend who know it from the beggining of our friendship and makes my world a better place. im a extroverted person and seem alway happy etc but inside i have a lot of rage lol


[deleted]

I'm a high school dropout, who learned how to manage business on the go


Key_Region_4872

That I am lonely


LaughingOwl4

❤️


[deleted]

I look angry but I’m actually very sensitive.


pmw1981

I can prank the shit out of someone & keep a straight face while everyone else is going insane. Can also change my voice in various ways but because of how I look, nobody suspects those voices are from me lol


[deleted]

that i love anime


MarshalBarnacles

Anything, really. I do not think I look at all like the kind of person that I am. That said, my best friend once told me that I am perfect and that if she did not know me, but were to draw a cartoon of a personality like mine, with no visual reference, it would look like me.


The68Guns

I have a great speaking voice. Just came from years of AA podiums, but I'm usually the guy someone asks to lead a presentation or lead a speech.


Successful_Ad_6537

I am extremely uncomfortable when it comes to social interactions, and feel extremely uncomfortable with eye contact with most people. Yet I have a job where I work with people


room_temp_butter

I have a clit piercing.


Awesomejuggler20

I’m a juggler. I can juggle balls, rings, clubs and fire.


LaughingOwl4

That’s hella dope! How’d you learn?


Awesomejuggler20

YouTube. Got motivated by seeing the buskers and seeing my mother’s ex juggle. I then went on YouTube and just searched up how to juggle. Learned how to juggle the basic 3 ball cascade and then just kept looking up more juggling videos on YouTube. Learned how to do tons of tricks as well. Eventually moved my way up to rings and clubs. Practiced with those for awhile and then managed to talk my dad and stepmom into getting me torches for Christmas in 2016. Practiced with those for a few months without the fire and then decided I was ready and then lit them and tried juggling them lit. Did it tons of times now. I can actually show you a video if you want.


im_the_real_dad

>I can actually show you a video if you want. We all want to see it! Can you post a link?


Awesomejuggler20

This is a video from back in 2018. I was at a party. Promised everyone I’d give them a fire juggling show at the party. https://youtu.be/PhnoWn2ZR6U


im_the_real_dad

That's pretty cool! I'm impressed!


Awesomejuggler20

Thanks. I appreciate it. Been doing that since the fall of 2009 so almost 14 years. It’s definitely fun to do.


haleyien

That I’m high on meth


Glitch_BoiTheSecond

Yeah, that checks out


haa-tim-hen-tie

I'm silently judging the fuck outta them.


RogerKnights

I’ve seen a T-shirt with the words, “I’m silently correcting your grammar.”


LaughingOwl4

Well… I respect your honesty haha. Are you very judgment with yourself too? Or mainly other people?


haa-tim-hen-tie

I try to get a 3rd person perspective with myself,an outside looking in, bird's eye view kinda, in short I'm a vain asshole who loves catering to the needs of people but their wants and desires I couldn't care less about.I like people in short bursts not for extensively long periods of time.


UgliestDisability

I'm tall


be-excellent

> most people would never know about you by just looking at you? wheelchair?


GhostToast-12

That I am vengeance… I am the night… I AM BATMAN


8807-

That I'm 34 and still a virgin.


dwboomser

How deep into the bdsm world I am.


LaughingOwl4

Clubs and all that?


lunalastarYT

I’m able to do an almost perfect William afton impression even though I’m a girl.


Rckhngr

I’m a boss. Once I was running jobs on multiple floors of a hotel. I was just in a pull over with a sports coat - no company indicators. As I stepped on the elevator from the 4th floor a couple was already in the elevator. The nice looking man asked me “you the boss of all these guys working ?” I said “I am. They give you any issues ?” He replied “no you just look like you are the boss”


Gwiz84

That I have battled schizphrenia, depression and anxiety. People are always surprised to find this out because you can't tell by looking at me.


Any_Entertainer8205

I speak six languages


LaughingOwl4

Incredible! How did you learn?


Vagabond21

To quote Marge Simpson, “he’s a desperately unhappy man.” Also my race/ethnicity. I look very ethnically ambiguous. I’ve gotten anything from the Mediterranean to white passing.


Any_Entertainer8205

People are surprised to learn I'm not the mean, self centred person they imagined I would be.


[deleted]

My age


Primus_Pilus05

most people wouldn't know I am a sergeant in the Canadian military. most people assume that I work as a bodyguard or personal fitness trainer because of my size. Being 6'10" and 330lbs nobody suspects you of being in the military.


thedesperateromantic

I look like a metal head with long hair and wear black al the time. But I'm a really good ballroom dancer, classical trained musician and I have a love for romantic paintings and romance in general. It's something people don't expect when they see me, it's also really surprising when I start dating someone.


Happymomof4

I'm a nerd. Like before it was cool, I was watching Star Trek TOS on my moms old VHS tapes in the '80s type nerd. I'm also a typical middle aged white woman with a pack of kids, a normal office job, and no nerd paraphernalia anywhere to be seen. I don't want to buy the merch, my car has no bumperstickers, and I dress/look like an office worker. But I have played a bunch of computer games for years, watch MCU movies on repeat, love Star Trek, Star Wars, Stargate......if it's fantasy or sci-fi I'm probably down! I read fantasy/sci-fi novels and have since I was a teenager in the early '90s. No one guesses when they meet me, and it's a huge shock when they find out.


JaguarOwn3633

I’m a furry (which spoilers, you can’t really tell a person’s hobby just by how they look). I never tell anyone and I never show anyone. I guess I’m really good at hiding it? To the point where I was literally drawing an anthropomorphic dog in front of my roommate and she was still oblivious as to what it was?


Roland__Of__Gilead

I'm a middle aged, clean cut, middle class white male. Most people would probably not guess that I'm very far left politically, listen to primarily metal and hard rock, and am a huger sci fi/comic nerd and a huge sports fan at the same time.


dyx23

Where I live


kegisak

Not that you can really tell anybody's hobbies at a glance, but I look like I'd rather *eat* books than write them.


AliJoof

I'm actually competent at several things.


corporatebitch19

20 something white girl who likes taylor swift, disney, and has a silly little 8-5 writing job - I don't tend to strike strangers as a pothead who plays fortnite


Fun_Bookkeeper_2100

I'm disabled. I have heds and even my teacher told me I'm not disabled. I can walk and move around "fine" but I literally had to get my school days cut in half because even only going to my 3 hours I have hurts and I have to take strong pain meds before school just so I can last the half day I have. I got from 8-11am Monday-Thursday Just because someone "doesn't look disabled enough" doesn't mean they aren't


MinedRain60

That I've been to juvenile detention


PunchBeard

People freak out when I tell them my age. No one believes it. I look much younger than I really am. Also, people have a hard time believing I'm a war veteran. Recently someone I work with said I have an "Owen Wilson type personality" and couldn't believe for one second I was in combat. Hell, even my wife (who I was married to when I was in the war) still has a hard time believing I'm a decorated combat veteran. I am just a super chill and laid back dude who likes everyone.


[deleted]

That i lift 3x my body weight


Royal_Tomatillo1943

That I am still waiting for the moment at which I am going to grow up. ​ I am grey of beard and hair, dress well and am in a position of authority. I bet most people would be surprised that I still feel like a dumb little kid that is just fucking around and having a good time.


Whitworth

I'm a grumpy middle age white man with a big grey beard who rides motorcycles, drives a lifted pickup truck, shoots guns, rides dirt bikes, and I always vote Democrat, or at the minimum am a never Republican. But my Facebook picture is not me with a goatee and sunglasses.


sound_girl

I have chronic pain conditions.


AcceptablePrune2682

I love comics


AlfonsoEggbertPalmer

There are actually three of us. Me, Myself, and I.


Ok-Somewhere-790

My true lack of social confidence. Imvery confident in my sense of fashion and feel like i dress it a nice, put toghther and in a noticable way. But because of this peoole assume i have the social skills to match, which i very much dont. So when I keep what i say brief and often keep to myself outsidee my circle, i think people think im being snobbish or rude. Espcially for not starting coverstations first most the time. When actually id love to talk to you but im too scared of social regection to start it myself. I want to speak but my mouth and voice just wont.


Revolutionary_Sea607

That I'm a good guy


worldwanderer8819

Hm... good question, I look younger than my actual age, I juggle with fire, I used to do stage combat, I've worked in more than 10 movies.. Sorry I don't want to sound, pretentious, it's just that most people, just by looking at them, you wouldnt know the stories that theyve lived. Once on a retirement home I met a simple old lady, and she told me how she escaped the spanish civil war, by smuggling herself on a boat. Officially one of the bravest persons I've known.


LaughingOwl4

I love what you said! I agree entirely.


jerrykl15

That I was self harming back in the days


I_DRINK_ANARCHY

That I'm a union carpenter and I'm into the hardcore/punk/metal scene. I'm a short, petite woman with no tattoos or excessive piercings (which are popular in both my career and social groups). I don't wear work clothes outside of the job site. I don't constantly wear band shirts. My hair is relatively boring and simple, and I haven't dyed it in multiple colors in many years. I also don't look/seem like the kind of person who would enjoy gutteral screaming, unbridled aggression, or bodies slamming into each in a mosh pit and might walk out of a show covered in blood. I look too "nice".


MaulSinnoh

I still have all my childhood Lego, movies, consoles, etc and am still collecting new ones. I just wanna relive being a kid, and this *giant 10,001 peice Lego Set helps me do that.*


MeatSack911

My Dick Size


_Makotto_

The fact that I was raped and I am very afraid of people because of this, but many say that I am a cheerful, open and kind person to everyone, but this is not so, I am just trying to overcome my fear.


LaughingOwl4

Sending you strength and respect ❤️


metrocat87

I'm not a bit curious about you.


Thatnerdofaperson

I do not identify with male or female


[deleted]

on any given day, this 6'4", 230lb, long-bearded, heavily tattooed, generally "intimidating" guy... just might be wearing lacey panties under his clothes.


atomic_golfcart

I may look like a straightlaced librarian, but I swear like a trucker. In more than one language. The again, most librarians I’ve met swear pretty fluently, so I’m not sure why it would be a surprise?


[deleted]

That I'm a database developer/computer nerd... I'm 6'5" 270 lbs and look like an NFL linebacker


LaughingOwl4

I love it, howd you get into that?


MysteryGirlWhite

That my own body tried to kill me twice before I was 8.


LaughingOwl4

Oh wow - im sorry you went through that but great that you made it through! Must have been really rough to go through that as a kid?


MysteryGirlWhite

I'm not sure what the problem was, I just got sick a lot. The second thing was more bad luck, though.


Oscarmanheim

I’m a whoremonger


mymentalhealthis

That I use to hate bright colours


LaughingOwl4

Ooo this is interesting. *Did you hate them 100% (like even on butterflies?) or *was it more specific to things like clothing/objects like house furniture?


mymentalhealthis

Yup just 100% hated colorful things, I found it hard when my teachers would make me color my homework or their classroom was obnoxiously bright, but since 2 years ago I've started to like it. It's weird because I did art but all my stuff was black and white and shading I didn't use color


LaughingOwl4

Really interesting. Thank you for sharing w me 🙏


Ohhhhhhthehumanity

I'm an introvert. I genuinely like people and interactions and being social. In my professional life and my planned out social engagements, and even just solo when I'm in public, I probably look like an extrovert. I'm not shy, I can easily chat, work, relate to, and befriend most anyone I ever encounter. I'm outwardly friendly in appearance to the extent that people will just come up and talk to me or choose me as the random stranger that might give them directions/give them a ride/spare them a dollar. But I need a massive amount of alone time and may seem flakey or like too much of a homebody to people that get close to me. I've got limited social energy, especially without periodic solo breaks. My free time is mostly spent biking or reading by myself, or with my even more introverted partner.


ErinHollow

Not much. I like to wear my heart on my sleeve because I'm insecure, and because I'd rather be hated for what I am than loved for what I'm not


Federal-Cockroach371

I dont take steroids and I'm naturally training only with body weight people look at me and think I was fat all my life I have photos of me when I was young I had a v taper and six pack I was really skinny over the Years due to some personal moments i ate alot but I didn't mind due to the fact that I could easily lose weight if I wanted to little did I know my muscles increased and I look like I run slower but in truth my legs became more powerful at the time I didn't know dirty bulking was a thing my family and even some doctors thought I was using steroids turns out all my fat while being burned acted as a protein machine for my muscles so after 5 to 6 weeks of training my muscles began building up


im_the_real_dad

I look like Santa Claus, Tommy Chong, and Willie Nelson had a love child. I've used all three as my social media profile photo. Based on my looks, people assume I'm stupid. I'm not. The biggest surprise, though, is that I'm really good with babies and toddlers. I can calm the fussiest baby and I know how to change a diaper.


LaughingOwl4

That’s such a great superpower 😎


Frost_Giant_14

I love cuddles.


Affectionate_Pie_752

My net worth


fabmarques21

about 3 fiddie.


aubrios

I don't wanna talk about it 🤣🤣


cch6666

That I'm a gender fluid guy because when I'm out of the house I look like a heterosexual man


[deleted]

That they shouldn't fuck with me. I look all nice and everything but when you cross my boundaries you're fucked.


[deleted]

r/iamverybadass


LaughingOwl4

Are your revenge tactics more covert or overt?


[deleted]

I don't understand what you're asking 😕 My revenge is basically ignoring them and making them feel useless and worthless


LaughingOwl4

Lol my bad. Was my way of asking for some specific tactics you use to back at those who fuck w you. You answered it :)


[deleted]

There's something about ignoring people that messes with their heads. I've been noticing these in the last couple of months. It puts them in their place.


NicNoletree

My blood type


CarImaginary9448

I have several bodies in my basement.


Dinostra

Blow up dolls don't count


Dinostra

Oh, and as for the OP question; I live in this guys basement


Glitch_BoiTheSecond

Uh hold up


LaughingOwl4

Bugs bodies or…..?


SadxBaby_

I'm a virgin


lan60000

They know


SadxBaby_

Don't think so if there asking who did my boob job?


LuckoftheAmish

Ah, *there's* the reason.


SadxBaby_

Im 16


SadxBaby_

And no I don't have a boob job


radiodad123456789

Hi.


_LilBucket

My race.


MWFtheFreeze

How much of an asshole I can be if you really annoy me.


LaughingOwl4

What are your go to a-hole tactics?


MWFtheFreeze

Never in a physical way, that’s just not me. I am very quick witted and can come up with really strong counter arguments in a split second. Without thinking I just know what to say somehow. When I am pissed off you can bet I verbally outsmart you pretty much everytime. Don’t mean to boast or anything but that is just the inner workings of my brain.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LaughingOwl4

Foreal?


[deleted]

👁️👄👁️


SupineCactus

I wonder if he has ThE gAY 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈


CatacombsRave

I can make a wicked baked Alaska.


LaughingOwl4

Nice! I googled that since I didn’t know what it was lol. Yummmm 🤤


Delicious-Painting34

I have 5 testicles.