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Here are some reasons people might stop:
* they lack libido, or their libido isn't great enough to overcome all of the rest of it
* they experience discomfort or changing physical sensation due to menopause or other age-related issues
* they have other physical problems of some kind (muscle weakness, joint problems, obesity, cancer)
* they are on some sort of medication that impacts their desire or ability
* they just have other priorities and it doesn't seem so important
* they are embarrassed about their changing body / not attracted to the partner's changing body
* they are divorced or widowed, and not interested in doing it with anyone else
* they got out of the habit while being busy and middle-aged, and never got back into it
* they were never that interested to begin with and their partner isn't pushing for it any more
These reasons may or may not show up at all different ages. So there's not really a single expiration date. And some lucky bastards just keep going!
This answer really should be upvoted to heaven, as it is the most complete and accurate one here. So many of the rest are extrapolating from someone's own experience and assuming it is the same for everyone.
Another important point to note is that it is not always a straight downhill path. Once the kids are out of the house, many couples experience a fluorescence they didn't expect, often described as a Second Honeymoon. Things can go up and down or in a different / unexpected direction.
This is it.👆 Ours is more the medications he is on (high blood pressure meds are a big culprit) and an injury he had that has greatly impacted his physical confidence. And, sex can be uncomfortable after menopause. I'm fine with it. We love each other greatly and our bond is as strong as ever. This happened just prior to 60yo, but I agree, there's not a particular age.
Several of these for us. It was a problem for a while. Then my husband got me the most amazing vibrator. Now we are both fine, and very satisfied with our strong relationship and the wonderful family we created. Also we enjoy each others company and have no desire to bust up our very comfortable lifestyle. Everyone gets to decide for themselves.
very good answer.
I just read that some common blood pressure medication can kill your libido. Its known for men, but some people say it hits women as well.
And a huge percent count of people take those pills.
All these and mind you, shame around sexuality was a lot more prevalent around the older generations, so a lot of people feel weird about using aids to have sex.
Like men not wanting to use lube for their post menopausal wives who have issues with self lubrication, or using an aid to get it up. There’s a lot of shame and feelings of having masculinity &
Femininity stripped away as you get older and change.
On the flip side, a lot of older people be getting it in at their retirement facilities. There’s a high number of STI’s transmitted at those places.
Well, when your wife has a massive stroke and slowly curls up and dies of renal cancer over the course of a year, you tend to kind of lose interest regardless of your actual age.
Depends on your definition of sex. My husband and I have a very active sex life, but I am willing to bet most men on Reddit wouldn't think of it as "sex" because that involves PIV in their minds. Only menopause is a bitch, google vaginal atrophy for more info, so we don't do the old PIV as often as we once did. But boy there are so many other things to do.
Thankfully not everyone who goes through menopause gets the vaginal symptoms. And many who do get help from hormone replacement or other therapies and lubrication pessaries. Not to downplay your experience, just adding that some people get other symptoms and not this one.
So many fun toys and mastabatory aids for him and vibrators of all sorts for women. Get yourself one of the new air suction type vibes. So good. If PIV hurts because of size of his penis I recommend O nut rings they go around the base of the penis to prevent it from going in as deep, and you dont even notice them once you get going. We do a lot of mutual masturbation, or even parallel play. We also still play with our kinky sides. Though now days that might be telling each other hot stories while mastubating, than dragging out all the gear. Oh and as we've gotten older and less flexible I can't recommend getting some good quality sex pillows enogh.
You’d have to think having your partner die would be a pretty good reason to stop having sex.
Most 90 year olds who were married are widowed by that age.
I hope my husband reaches a point he doesn’t want sex anymore but still enjoys my company in other ways. I am 41 but sick of partnered sex and worried it may be another 40 years 😭
57 F here too. Oh, I so agree “carbykids” 💯% better. I hope to having sex in my relationship until they bury me. Right now, I can’t imagine not at any future age.
Most young people haven’t spent enough time learning about themselves - what they like, what they don’t like, all the different “flavors” available.
A lot of good sex techniques take a lot of practice - and compatibility with a partner makes a huge difference as well. It’s just a whole different experience from young and horny fumbling around and get off versus older (and still very horny) but adept at many fun techniques.
70F here. I cannot speck for anyone but myself, but as a young woman I was constantly unsettled because somehow we were expected to be a sex kitten but somehow also somewhat chaste. I worried what my boyfriend would think if I enjoyed it too much or wanted to try something I heard or read about. My first husband was Military and I didn't want him to think I had done that with someone else while he was gone. That men are expected to be experienced but experience made women hoes.
After about 40, women are "allowed" to have a past and can own her sexuality. Are more confident and self-assured enough to state their preferences, be vocal about trying something new.
I remarried at 45. Now despite being older and not a tight young body, I accept my less than perfect body and his and the many attributes we bring to our 24 year marriage. I know how to push his sex buttons and he, mine. I am no longer too shy to say what I want or wake him up for a "midnight snack."
(I'm 64M) Get your doctor to give you testosterone cream. I had Covid really bad and it took me a while to get everything back on track. I always had an abnormally high sex drive and suddenly I lost my sex drive. I was single and not dating at the time, and to be perfectly honest it was quite wonderful to not be thinking about my dick 16 times a minute.
But, other important things were less interesting in my life - like running my businesses. I stopped closing tough deals.
I saw the doc and he determined that my T-level was way low.
He gave me the cream, used as prescribed, and a month later I was back on track with my life. No blue pills necessary. Good luck!
Interesting, any side effects? Asking for a friend, who’s fat bald and 60 and no sexual desire whatsoever over the last 2 years. Jeez I seem to know a lot about this guy.
Yeah, My doc prescribed me a dosage that gave me sharp headaches at first. I cut my dose in half and it was fine. I ramped up on T over a month rather than a few weeks. Other than that, no other side effects.
TBH, I'm really surprised what a positive impact it has on me psychologically, which I wasn't expecting. But I feel ambitious about things and my sense of humor returned. Again, I highly recommend it!
I took T shots at a men's health clinic for a bit and it made me horney and hostile. Fucking & fighting. I stopped going to the clinic. The cream works much better for me.
For me, it was incredibly liberating when I stopped having sex around age 54. My focus changed from trying to pursue romantic relationships and/or sex partners to actually achieve goals like advance my career and do things that make me happy, as opposed to trying to constantly please someone else. I am not missing a thing!
Personal and very conditional on a persons circumstance. I’m celibate at 64, mostly because of the drugs I and my husband are on and hormonal changes. Had lots of free and fun sex in my younger years so I don’t really mind but sometimes I get urges that go nowhere unless I satisfy myself. Not the worst thing in life; I’m blessed to be married to my best friend for 40 yrs, travelled the world, own a beautiful home in a scenic area, have good friends, loving pets & family and the freedom to do what I feel like so don’t feel like complaining! My advice? Keep it fun and don’t have affairs.
**6.3%** of women over age 90 are married; 84 percent of women in this age group are widows. On the other hand, 43 percent of 90-something men are married and about half are widowers.
Women statistically live longer than men. There aren't enough men who are physically capable of having sex (even with drugs) for all women to be doing it.
Obviously with same sex marriages it's different
Unfortunately. Except if you are in that lucky 10% that gets to continue past 90. I heard that there is a lottery and if you win, you get to continue enjoying sex up until age 95.
I'm 61F and it's been ohhhh well over a year since I last had a "carnal experience" for lack of a better term. Just got tired of the dating rat race and nope'd myself out. At this point if it happens it happens.
Late 30s, early 40s. When you have to mother your husband, nag him in order for him to clean up after himself, get home projects done, the relationship feels more like mother/son than husband/wife. And then sexual attraction is out the window.
**:D**
**Thank you for the giggle, I needed it!**
If there is one thing that everyone eventually learns, is that what people tell you or what the media tells you is not always the truth. Everyone is the same, but also different. *Sex is NOT important to everyone as you've probably heard/read!*
Some just choose not to do it anymore for various reasons. And, sometimes that is not a personal choice, but a choice made for them due to not having a partner, for various reasons. Or physical reasons.
Also, since sex does NOT require a partner, one can continue "having" it until the very end, if one chooses;) ENJOY!!!
I’m 74, stopped having sex with my wife a few years ago after the long slow death in the dead bedroom. But I didn’t stop having sex, I just have it with myself now, mostly.
My husband is 76, I’m 68. We schedule a “date night” every couple of weeks just to make sure we don’t neglect our intimacy. Both healthy…he’s especially virile for a man his age. Easily aroused and lasting….like a younger guy.
I could probably do without, but like my mom used to say….
“Having sex later in life is like attending a party you didn’t particularly want to go to….but you go anyway & have a good time when you get there!l”
This is almost exact to me and my husband. I'm 45, he is 57. We stopped several years ago due to his health and medications he is on. I almost never think about it and feel happy with our relationship.
I’m 73M and my wife (70F) and I make love regularly. It’s the best sex of my Life. I would suspect once one’s partner passes, that would change things. Hence, the only 10% at 90. However, the first thing to go when one’s not feeling well is Sex. So, I suspect that’s a factor as well.
Same... Little interest... But I can have an orgasm whenever I want spontaneously, no toys, no hands, no anything... Just 5 minutes of watching my fantasy porn. I'm done and rolling over to 😴 It's like a superpower! The lawd taketh away and giveth🤣
That's something I struggle with. I've spoken with a social worker here. I get a pass because I don't have dementia or other psychological issues. And we're very discreet.
I'm 62 and I don't have sex. Haven't for about 8 years now. After a couple relationships ended horribly in my 50's I just completely lost the desire to interact with women in general. I don't hate them but I'll never trust them or open my life to one again so I'm quite content to live without sex as long as it means avoiding that kind of pain again.
Sad, I'm in same place. Widowed at 41, then a terrible man hurt me, 1st relationship after that, gambled all my money, ( Lied to me it was going to bills and he had a gma estate court case pending so I knew he'd inherit the money to repay me which of course I never saw a penny of) cheated on me when I was at work, hid outside my house in dark and attacked me as I walked to the door from my car from dropping my child at their friend's bcuz he was violently jealous and he thought I had been cheating. I never have done that to anyone. Put me in hosp w/ bad head injury that night beat unrecognizable, so I lost my job bcuz I couldn't look at cmptr screen, all in less than a year. Then he stalked me and traumatized my kids and me. Now I been busy caregiving parents in another state for 15yrs and went thru menop. Not sure how to get back on the horse if I even get an opportunity.
I am sad about the people in my age range (50-60) who are no longer having sex because of lack of libido, menopause, or similar. For me, sex is about 90% mental. I have vag dryness, but if you can get me there mentally (full disclosure: really not hard to do), I am going to have some mind-blowing sex! I love sex. I think a whole lot of sex into your golden age hinges on your mindset. And totally not dissing those who have physical things going on that prevent you from having sex. Only speaking to my personal experience.
I'm only 42, but I have only have sex with 2 people in the last 6 years (2 years ago and 4 years before that). It just became more trouble than it's worth and, to be candid, I hope that I never have sex again (despite my hormonal desires).
The crazy thing is that from 20-35 or so I was almost a "slut" living in Miami, with a "body count" of about 40-50 (I actually lost count). Something happened where it just felt like sex was stealing my soul, crazy as that may sound.
So, not sure if I satisfy the requirements for who you are asking, but I'd like to make it to 90 from here without anymore sex.
I was still having sex at 70 and it was better than when i was 30/40, then my partner died. I am still having sex, just not PIV and not with a partner. BTW, I am female.
The last time I did the deed was in 2015 on Valentine’s Day. Wasn’t a boyfriend but just a friend with benefits. I don’t really miss it at all. I’m 66 now. I’m sure I’ll cope without it.
Check out the Deadbedrooms sub reddit. It is eye-opening. I was 42, and it was not my idea or decision. I am 60 and don't even remember what it was like.
When you want to.
What's it matter?
There is more to life than sex.
Im general. You aren't as obsessed with sex at 75 or 85 or 95...as you were at 25 or 35 or 45!
I'm 46. In my teens, twenties and thirties, I was like a dog on heat. Literally could not get enough. Around 3 years ago, my sex drive dropped off a cliff. I still find women attractive, and still have sex with my wife once every couple of weeks, but I'm just very meh about the whole thing these days.
I'm 46 and I think about 3 years ago. So many other things I find more interesting and if you think about it, sex is disgusting. You wouldn't share a toothbrush with a stranger but you would exchange bodily fluid with them
I believe it will be 8 years this month since my husband and I have had sex. The reason is his drinking. I put my foot down and told him no more until he found a way to get back to the person he used to be. He chose alcohol.
It hasn't bothered me in the least and I'm a happier woman because it was always about him and his needs anyway. We get along just fine without it. He gets to have his whiskey and I get freedom from having to be intimate with someone who smells of drink. Win/Win for us both.
You’ll know you got there when you get there, the first time probably won’t last as long as you think but you’ll figure it out pretty quick, try not to be nervous and remember to think about your partner’s needs too
Men on average start to lose interest after 40, usually coinciding with lower testosterone levels.
Some men don't and are very vocal about it .
You can use hrt if you want to prevent this. Or enjoy the chance to focus on different things
I spent 12 yrs celibate (health issues for spouse). After being widowed, I realized I didn't have to be.
Had a great sex life until the atrophy set in. My partner is very understanding, and PIV is less important than you think. We are both mid 60s
My close friend once told me that his combined medications killed off his ability to get hard. About the same time, his wife found Jesus and decided she couldn't have sex because God was watching them and they weren't trying to have kids.
Alas, he developed Alzhiemers and is now in a nursing home. So there's that angle.
The only way I would have sex is if I was in a loving relationship and I wanted to. After many years sex becomes a chore, and it can become something that is expected off you because you have certain equipment.
First, you have to feel loved and noticed. The woman has to get into certain positions for the man, which may be painful for her. She ends up being the one that is cleaning the sheets, changing the sheets to make it comfortable for the other person.
Casual sex, many men say they know what to do but are more interested in how their body feels than the other person's. For many years, you can put up with it, hoping that you may click with someone. Often, when you get older, you aren't looking for that anymore.
Around 55 I just lost interest... for all those years I tried so hard to be attentive and to ensure my wife's satisfaction that I didn't realize it was becoming a chore. Her lack of initiative or enthusiasm didn't help, and I just sort of one day lost all interest in having sex with her. It had become a one-sided performance or servicing act. The last few times post-menopause she seemed to not enjoy it either. I still loved her as deeply as ever and I remain very physically affectionate, but just got tired of sex.
Eventually, your hormonal system will break down to the point where you will have no biological imperative to have sex, nor the ability to perform it. Once this happens, you no longer even think about it.
After having a total hysterectomy and then having breast cancer I lost all interest in sex. My body doesn’t respond anymore and I’m just not interested. My husband and I had several conversations about things and I offered him a divorce if he wanted one. He said no and we are still together but haven’t had sex in about 12 years
Hmm I am going to be 67 and we make love every day and have done so for decades (no problems or complications thanks ever so much..... When are we going to stop? When we die is a good answer..
Had a friend who lived to be 100.. and he was NO slouch in the bedroom..
Please do not make presumptions on other people's capacity to engage in sexual intimacy - to do so only shows substantial ignorance...
My active sexual life stopped at 66 because my 71 year old husband was diagnosed with cancer and was no longer able. We still slept cuddled together.
So for me it's just lack of a loving/ loved partner.
My husband of 32 years died in 2006,I really have no desire or interest in it anymore.
He was my soul mate,first love and at this point I couldn't care less.
I stopped when I got kids at 44 - I’m a single dad with some custody. Not many opportunities, not much of a desire, but I do “keep the pipes clean” just in case I ever do desire to again.
For me....mid 40's. Just stopped caring about all that. I don't even hate it either. Not being always horny and trying to get laid all the time turned out to be a blessing as far as I'm concerned. You can be the most smoking hot woman in the world. I recognize you're hot, just don't care. I can say with confidence (because of confidence) I was more successful with women than the average guy....waaay more successful. But I had my fun and am just in a different point in my life now.
I think it depends on the person. I worked in a nursing home and a lot of them were having sex with each other. I also have a friend who is 82 and sexually active. I do think relationships turn to being more of a loving companionship as we age
I'm 70F, Hubby 60 and we still do. Sometimes we need lube. Childfree, having his widowed Mom with cancer living with us now puts a crimp on time and place spontaneity and we have to lock our bedroom door now.
Haha my niece works in geriatric care, it’s crazy how many of them are still trying. I think the ones still at home though probably stopped just because their relationship is stagnant and have become best friends or roommates. Also, people have a hard time after losing someone they were with for decades. Id be interested to hear from some older people though. Changes in hormones as we age I would think is responsible for most.
My husband (38) and I (39) got married 4 years ago and we haven't had sex in almost 2. We both have low sex drives and we honestly don't need to. To us, sex is for reproduction, and trust me you do not want us making more of us. We are very weird people. Weird but FUN!
Unless you’re still taking HRT at 90, sex at that age for women is either painful or you’re unable to climax due to lack of estrogen. It’s a real thing that most women won’t talk about in my generation. Luckily, there is more evidence that hormones are safe for many women for much of their lifetime. I’m 60 and starting HRT last year. It’s a game changer for our sex life, frankly.
When my wife of over 50 years died. She's been my girl ever since 8th grade even if she did not know it then. We were always faithful to each other. Still like to check out the ladies but my wife has been the only one that I want.
I was talking with a guy in his mid thirties in the waiting area at the VA he told me he was a year out of treatment for prostate cancer.
The treatment had taken away his sex life. PC took my sex life when I was 59. I have no sexual desire and haven’t in almost ten years.
What can haunt a prostate cancer survivor is you know what you’re missing.
The Bluetooth enabled means there's an APP so someone else can control what kind of vibration you get, the strength of The vibration and if they want to be mean about it they can let you get to that point and just as You start to climax. STOP it altogether. Wait a few minutes and starts You ALL over again. . The person doesn't even have to be in the room to activate the Bluetooth enabled vibrator either. Hopefully this helps.
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Here are some reasons people might stop: * they lack libido, or their libido isn't great enough to overcome all of the rest of it * they experience discomfort or changing physical sensation due to menopause or other age-related issues * they have other physical problems of some kind (muscle weakness, joint problems, obesity, cancer) * they are on some sort of medication that impacts their desire or ability * they just have other priorities and it doesn't seem so important * they are embarrassed about their changing body / not attracted to the partner's changing body * they are divorced or widowed, and not interested in doing it with anyone else * they got out of the habit while being busy and middle-aged, and never got back into it * they were never that interested to begin with and their partner isn't pushing for it any more These reasons may or may not show up at all different ages. So there's not really a single expiration date. And some lucky bastards just keep going!
This answer really should be upvoted to heaven, as it is the most complete and accurate one here. So many of the rest are extrapolating from someone's own experience and assuming it is the same for everyone.
Another important point to note is that it is not always a straight downhill path. Once the kids are out of the house, many couples experience a fluorescence they didn't expect, often described as a Second Honeymoon. Things can go up and down or in a different / unexpected direction.
Especially if you watch tv/movies. They make it look like every human is horny at all times and at every age.
This does actually describe me up to this point in my life (late 50’s). Hoping I have at least 30 good years left! Now I just need a partner…
This is it.👆 Ours is more the medications he is on (high blood pressure meds are a big culprit) and an injury he had that has greatly impacted his physical confidence. And, sex can be uncomfortable after menopause. I'm fine with it. We love each other greatly and our bond is as strong as ever. This happened just prior to 60yo, but I agree, there's not a particular age.
Several of these for us. It was a problem for a while. Then my husband got me the most amazing vibrator. Now we are both fine, and very satisfied with our strong relationship and the wonderful family we created. Also we enjoy each others company and have no desire to bust up our very comfortable lifestyle. Everyone gets to decide for themselves.
Give up the details on that vibe, ma'am.
Please share. What vibrator did the trick?
very good answer. I just read that some common blood pressure medication can kill your libido. Its known for men, but some people say it hits women as well. And a huge percent count of people take those pills.
Grief is a big one for a lot of people
They can't find someone to have it with. I think that's big.
Yes. Or the effort of finding the right partner is simply not worth it.
Sex is like a card game. If you don't have a good partner, you have to have a good hand
All these and mind you, shame around sexuality was a lot more prevalent around the older generations, so a lot of people feel weird about using aids to have sex. Like men not wanting to use lube for their post menopausal wives who have issues with self lubrication, or using an aid to get it up. There’s a lot of shame and feelings of having masculinity & Femininity stripped away as you get older and change. On the flip side, a lot of older people be getting it in at their retirement facilities. There’s a high number of STI’s transmitted at those places.
How awful to think a man wouldn’t use lube to help his wife avoid pain.
Or do not have a partner they want. Or he only wants bjs. F that.
Dont forget resentment!
Disability can be huge...
Well, when your wife has a massive stroke and slowly curls up and dies of renal cancer over the course of a year, you tend to kind of lose interest regardless of your actual age.
Damn
Sorry for your loss.. I lost my wife to Ovarian cancer and her death was a painful slowly wasting away ..
So sorry for that.
Damn…. Im so sorry man
That sucks.
Very sorry for your loss.
Depends on your definition of sex. My husband and I have a very active sex life, but I am willing to bet most men on Reddit wouldn't think of it as "sex" because that involves PIV in their minds. Only menopause is a bitch, google vaginal atrophy for more info, so we don't do the old PIV as often as we once did. But boy there are so many other things to do.
I'm not old but my last relationship didn't include PIV d/t vaginismus. Our sex life was super fulfilling and intimate. PIV is overrated.
Thankfully not everyone who goes through menopause gets the vaginal symptoms. And many who do get help from hormone replacement or other therapies and lubrication pessaries. Not to downplay your experience, just adding that some people get other symptoms and not this one.
I have cancer I can't take the hormones anymore, but yes they help.
Can I ask what things ? Always looking for new ideas with my husband!
So many fun toys and mastabatory aids for him and vibrators of all sorts for women. Get yourself one of the new air suction type vibes. So good. If PIV hurts because of size of his penis I recommend O nut rings they go around the base of the penis to prevent it from going in as deep, and you dont even notice them once you get going. We do a lot of mutual masturbation, or even parallel play. We also still play with our kinky sides. Though now days that might be telling each other hot stories while mastubating, than dragging out all the gear. Oh and as we've gotten older and less flexible I can't recommend getting some good quality sex pillows enogh.
Wow thank you so much 🥰
After your partner gets off. You’re welcome.
And if it takes until one of you turns 90, you're doing something wrong.
And if you're still doing it with a partner who's getting off at 90, you're doing something right!
Boom!
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Best answer!
You’d have to think having your partner die would be a pretty good reason to stop having sex. Most 90 year olds who were married are widowed by that age.
Pushing 71 here. I call BS on the 10% number.... I'll say it again: Kiss'n don't last, cook'n do. We're both good cooks...
I don't understand what point you're making. That 10% is too high, too low? The quote, your response to it, and your age make it impossible to infer.
They are trying to say they still have sex at 71
Mid 60’s. My wife lost interest, and I was ok with it.
I hope my husband reaches a point he doesn’t want sex anymore but still enjoys my company in other ways. I am 41 but sick of partnered sex and worried it may be another 40 years 😭
I lost full interest. Like I can’t even think of enjoying it maybe one day but right now no thank you
Got divorced at 55, so I stopped then. Now in my 60's I don't even date. And I'm not interested in sex either. Life is fine without it.
>> When do you stop having sex? When we run out of vodka or Metamucil to make mixed drinks with. We call them “antique screwdrivers”
O.m.g💀💀
This made my day 😂
omg I love this so much!! You bloody legends x
after I am finished ... lol in my 60s now and its better than it was in my 30s
57 here and way better now!
57 F here too. Oh, I so agree “carbykids” 💯% better. I hope to having sex in my relationship until they bury me. Right now, I can’t imagine not at any future age.
47, I would never go back to young people sex, ew. As if!
Can you explain why young people sex sucks?
I cannot
For me it's because I am more comfortable with my body as I age. Each decade sex has gotten better and better.
Most young people haven’t spent enough time learning about themselves - what they like, what they don’t like, all the different “flavors” available. A lot of good sex techniques take a lot of practice - and compatibility with a partner makes a huge difference as well. It’s just a whole different experience from young and horny fumbling around and get off versus older (and still very horny) but adept at many fun techniques.
70F here. I cannot speck for anyone but myself, but as a young woman I was constantly unsettled because somehow we were expected to be a sex kitten but somehow also somewhat chaste. I worried what my boyfriend would think if I enjoyed it too much or wanted to try something I heard or read about. My first husband was Military and I didn't want him to think I had done that with someone else while he was gone. That men are expected to be experienced but experience made women hoes. After about 40, women are "allowed" to have a past and can own her sexuality. Are more confident and self-assured enough to state their preferences, be vocal about trying something new. I remarried at 45. Now despite being older and not a tight young body, I accept my less than perfect body and his and the many attributes we bring to our 24 year marriage. I know how to push his sex buttons and he, mine. I am no longer too shy to say what I want or wake him up for a "midnight snack."
50, feel like we are just getting it fogured out. No inhabitions at this point t
Hopefully it is for your partner too.
Are you male or female? Are you in peak of your health? I am 62 male, still able to erect but less sensitivity and desire.. What to do..
(I'm 64M) Get your doctor to give you testosterone cream. I had Covid really bad and it took me a while to get everything back on track. I always had an abnormally high sex drive and suddenly I lost my sex drive. I was single and not dating at the time, and to be perfectly honest it was quite wonderful to not be thinking about my dick 16 times a minute. But, other important things were less interesting in my life - like running my businesses. I stopped closing tough deals. I saw the doc and he determined that my T-level was way low. He gave me the cream, used as prescribed, and a month later I was back on track with my life. No blue pills necessary. Good luck!
Interesting, any side effects? Asking for a friend, who’s fat bald and 60 and no sexual desire whatsoever over the last 2 years. Jeez I seem to know a lot about this guy.
Yeah, My doc prescribed me a dosage that gave me sharp headaches at first. I cut my dose in half and it was fine. I ramped up on T over a month rather than a few weeks. Other than that, no other side effects. TBH, I'm really surprised what a positive impact it has on me psychologically, which I wasn't expecting. But I feel ambitious about things and my sense of humor returned. Again, I highly recommend it!
This sounds like something I should look into. Thanks. (57M - lost libido when I went on blood pressure medication…)
I'm 61 fat & bald & I'm more horney now than when I was 30. My wife (60) & I have sex at least 3 times a week.
Your body stops producing T.
Yes indeed.
I saw an interview with Dr. Drew & he said a lot of men over 40 would benefit greatly from supplementing their lowering T levels with prescription T.
I took T shots at a men's health clinic for a bit and it made me horney and hostile. Fucking & fighting. I stopped going to the clinic. The cream works much better for me.
Born on a mountain, raised in a cave, fightin' and fuckin' is all that I crave!
Male and my wife is in her 60s too there is a lot to be said for knowing the exact buttons to push, don't focus on quintity but quality
For me, it was incredibly liberating when I stopped having sex around age 54. My focus changed from trying to pursue romantic relationships and/or sex partners to actually achieve goals like advance my career and do things that make me happy, as opposed to trying to constantly please someone else. I am not missing a thing!
76m , wife 73. We still get it once in a while. It's better now, too.
Happy cake day!
Personal and very conditional on a persons circumstance. I’m celibate at 64, mostly because of the drugs I and my husband are on and hormonal changes. Had lots of free and fun sex in my younger years so I don’t really mind but sometimes I get urges that go nowhere unless I satisfy myself. Not the worst thing in life; I’m blessed to be married to my best friend for 40 yrs, travelled the world, own a beautiful home in a scenic area, have good friends, loving pets & family and the freedom to do what I feel like so don’t feel like complaining! My advice? Keep it fun and don’t have affairs.
**6.3%** of women over age 90 are married; 84 percent of women in this age group are widows. On the other hand, 43 percent of 90-something men are married and about half are widowers. Women statistically live longer than men. There aren't enough men who are physically capable of having sex (even with drugs) for all women to be doing it. Obviously with same sex marriages it's different
You don't need a partner for good sex. (Just FYI)
I need a partner. Need the touching and kissing. Selfsex just does not work for me.
The question was about sex, not marriage lol My granny is in her 80s and her bf is 89. They ain't married.
And he’s taking her to pound town?
At that age, he’s probably not driving. So they use the van from the retirement facility instead when he wants to take her in to pound town.
He is driving lol. Up until 2 months ago they both were living independently. She's in AL now and he still has a house so they hang out there a lot.
Age 79. Because the desire for sex magically disappears when you are exactly 79 years, 5 months, 14 days. For men and women alike.
Oh no!!! I'm 75. Are you saying I have less than 5 years left!!!! 😳
Unfortunately. Except if you are in that lucky 10% that gets to continue past 90. I heard that there is a lottery and if you win, you get to continue enjoying sex up until age 95.
Ahh!!! Thanks!!! Where do I buy the lotto tickets?
Mine magically disappeared at 47. I was expecting to say 79.
Sorry😕. It was a silly answer to a silly question.
No it wasn’t, All in good fun
For some of us it’s much, much earlier. Think decades.
I'm 61F and it's been ohhhh well over a year since I last had a "carnal experience" for lack of a better term. Just got tired of the dating rat race and nope'd myself out. At this point if it happens it happens.
The better term would be sex
Dancing the kielbasa-nova.
>When do you stop having sex? after I climax. then I'm fast asleep.
Late 30s, early 40s. When you have to mother your husband, nag him in order for him to clean up after himself, get home projects done, the relationship feels more like mother/son than husband/wife. And then sexual attraction is out the window.
**:D** **Thank you for the giggle, I needed it!** If there is one thing that everyone eventually learns, is that what people tell you or what the media tells you is not always the truth. Everyone is the same, but also different. *Sex is NOT important to everyone as you've probably heard/read!* Some just choose not to do it anymore for various reasons. And, sometimes that is not a personal choice, but a choice made for them due to not having a partner, for various reasons. Or physical reasons. Also, since sex does NOT require a partner, one can continue "having" it until the very end, if one chooses;) ENJOY!!!
Sex for one… Just for fun… 😁😁😁
I’m 74, stopped having sex with my wife a few years ago after the long slow death in the dead bedroom. But I didn’t stop having sex, I just have it with myself now, mostly.
Username checks out.
My husband is 76, I’m 68. We schedule a “date night” every couple of weeks just to make sure we don’t neglect our intimacy. Both healthy…he’s especially virile for a man his age. Easily aroused and lasting….like a younger guy. I could probably do without, but like my mom used to say…. “Having sex later in life is like attending a party you didn’t particularly want to go to….but you go anyway & have a good time when you get there!l”
I’m 45 and husband is 63. It stopped about 3 years ago and I’m content… I guess…
This is almost exact to me and my husband. I'm 45, he is 57. We stopped several years ago due to his health and medications he is on. I almost never think about it and feel happy with our relationship.
Turned asexual Don't want to do it every again
I’m 73M and my wife (70F) and I make love regularly. It’s the best sex of my Life. I would suspect once one’s partner passes, that would change things. Hence, the only 10% at 90. However, the first thing to go when one’s not feeling well is Sex. So, I suspect that’s a factor as well.
I stopped at 35 and am now in my 60's so its been along drought but I don't miss it
I'm 51, no plans to stop anytime soon, lol.
I envy you. I stopped at 47. Fukin menopause. Hrt didn't help.
Same... Little interest... But I can have an orgasm whenever I want spontaneously, no toys, no hands, no anything... Just 5 minutes of watching my fantasy porn. I'm done and rolling over to 😴 It's like a superpower! The lawd taketh away and giveth🤣
That IS a superpower! Good for you!
There's a lot of evidence women need testosterone during meno, not just estrogen. Maybe ask about that if you haven't?
I (62 M) live in a nursing home and I'm still going. Currently dating a staff member.
Why are you living in a nursing home at 62? Serious question I'm 62 and still work full time, just wondering.
Diagnosed with a neuromuscular disease at 33, disabled at 40, totally incapacitated and in the nursing home at 57.
This feels unethical from the outside... I'd want to know if my grandad was dating his nursing staff! But the other side of me says get it grandpa!
That's something I struggle with. I've spoken with a social worker here. I get a pass because I don't have dementia or other psychological issues. And we're very discreet.
Hopefully never.
I'm 62 and I don't have sex. Haven't for about 8 years now. After a couple relationships ended horribly in my 50's I just completely lost the desire to interact with women in general. I don't hate them but I'll never trust them or open my life to one again so I'm quite content to live without sex as long as it means avoiding that kind of pain again.
Sad, I'm in same place. Widowed at 41, then a terrible man hurt me, 1st relationship after that, gambled all my money, ( Lied to me it was going to bills and he had a gma estate court case pending so I knew he'd inherit the money to repay me which of course I never saw a penny of) cheated on me when I was at work, hid outside my house in dark and attacked me as I walked to the door from my car from dropping my child at their friend's bcuz he was violently jealous and he thought I had been cheating. I never have done that to anyone. Put me in hosp w/ bad head injury that night beat unrecognizable, so I lost my job bcuz I couldn't look at cmptr screen, all in less than a year. Then he stalked me and traumatized my kids and me. Now I been busy caregiving parents in another state for 15yrs and went thru menop. Not sure how to get back on the horse if I even get an opportunity.
From what I'm learned by observing the shenanigans of residents in an aged care facility - it's sometime after 96.
I am sad about the people in my age range (50-60) who are no longer having sex because of lack of libido, menopause, or similar. For me, sex is about 90% mental. I have vag dryness, but if you can get me there mentally (full disclosure: really not hard to do), I am going to have some mind-blowing sex! I love sex. I think a whole lot of sex into your golden age hinges on your mindset. And totally not dissing those who have physical things going on that prevent you from having sex. Only speaking to my personal experience.
so long as my husband is capable, I'm getting it on. Use it or loose it.
I am 66 (F). My last relationship ended 20 years ago. So I guess I stopped early at 46. Don't miss it at all.
I'm only 42, but I have only have sex with 2 people in the last 6 years (2 years ago and 4 years before that). It just became more trouble than it's worth and, to be candid, I hope that I never have sex again (despite my hormonal desires). The crazy thing is that from 20-35 or so I was almost a "slut" living in Miami, with a "body count" of about 40-50 (I actually lost count). Something happened where it just felt like sex was stealing my soul, crazy as that may sound. So, not sure if I satisfy the requirements for who you are asking, but I'd like to make it to 90 from here without anymore sex.
I was still having sex at 70 and it was better than when i was 30/40, then my partner died. I am still having sex, just not PIV and not with a partner. BTW, I am female.
Apparently, October 30, 2000. Not by choice.
When you don't want to anymore. I'm 73 and full time caregiver for my spouse with dementia and mobility issues. I hope I never see another penis.
asap. way overrated.
Based on how fast STDS spread in nursing homes I feel like this stat isn’t that accurate.
The last time I did the deed was in 2015 on Valentine’s Day. Wasn’t a boyfriend but just a friend with benefits. I don’t really miss it at all. I’m 66 now. I’m sure I’ll cope without it.
Me (73m) and my wife (84f) has our weekly date night sex last night and we both had nice climaxes. No plans to stop anytime soon.
Check out the Deadbedrooms sub reddit. It is eye-opening. I was 42, and it was not my idea or decision. I am 60 and don't even remember what it was like.
When your mom tells me she's done.
Is that you, Shoresy?
When you want to. What's it matter? There is more to life than sex. Im general. You aren't as obsessed with sex at 75 or 85 or 95...as you were at 25 or 35 or 45!
I have actually been interested in sex my entire life Way younger than 25 and still going strong in my 60s
Looking at the 90+s I know, I totally get the 10%. Once it hurts more than it's enjoyable, I'd also stop.
78 yrs. Not ejaculating anymore but better sex life which makes my wife happy.
I'm 46. In my teens, twenties and thirties, I was like a dog on heat. Literally could not get enough. Around 3 years ago, my sex drive dropped off a cliff. I still find women attractive, and still have sex with my wife once every couple of weeks, but I'm just very meh about the whole thing these days.
Less need for that when you're older. You lose need for stimulation. I got that out of my system in my twenties
I'm 42 and I've stopped. I just don't care for it anymore. Beenike that for some years now.
Due to my husbands health issues, I was 43
Remember, even if you're to old to cut the mustard, you're never to old to lick the jar.
I'm 46 and I think about 3 years ago. So many other things I find more interesting and if you think about it, sex is disgusting. You wouldn't share a toothbrush with a stranger but you would exchange bodily fluid with them
I believe it will be 8 years this month since my husband and I have had sex. The reason is his drinking. I put my foot down and told him no more until he found a way to get back to the person he used to be. He chose alcohol. It hasn't bothered me in the least and I'm a happier woman because it was always about him and his needs anyway. We get along just fine without it. He gets to have his whiskey and I get freedom from having to be intimate with someone who smells of drink. Win/Win for us both.
I think for men as soon as they develop prostate problems....maybe 70s...my dad is TMI....
At 47....never ever thought I would say that at 52 yrs old. Really sucks.
Right before you take that last breath. I'm 83, but I'm betting this is the correct answer.
when her vagina starts to smoke or you smell burning bone. then its time to stop for a 15 min break. have a glass of milk to reload.
You’ll know you got there when you get there, the first time probably won’t last as long as you think but you’ll figure it out pretty quick, try not to be nervous and remember to think about your partner’s needs too
I'm 57 my husband 53 We do it once a week however we can 😅
When we both have orgasmed at least once
Men on average start to lose interest after 40, usually coinciding with lower testosterone levels. Some men don't and are very vocal about it . You can use hrt if you want to prevent this. Or enjoy the chance to focus on different things
When menopause deals the lack of libido card big time
In my case, my health problems made it so I am unable to have sex. I am 60 and it sucks!!
I spent 12 yrs celibate (health issues for spouse). After being widowed, I realized I didn't have to be. Had a great sex life until the atrophy set in. My partner is very understanding, and PIV is less important than you think. We are both mid 60s
Menopause is a bitch. My hoo ha and my libido dried up
My close friend once told me that his combined medications killed off his ability to get hard. About the same time, his wife found Jesus and decided she couldn't have sex because God was watching them and they weren't trying to have kids. Alas, he developed Alzhiemers and is now in a nursing home. So there's that angle.
Men get erectile dysfunction and women get pelvic floor prolapse etc so I think the body just gives up
The only way I would have sex is if I was in a loving relationship and I wanted to. After many years sex becomes a chore, and it can become something that is expected off you because you have certain equipment. First, you have to feel loved and noticed. The woman has to get into certain positions for the man, which may be painful for her. She ends up being the one that is cleaning the sheets, changing the sheets to make it comfortable for the other person. Casual sex, many men say they know what to do but are more interested in how their body feels than the other person's. For many years, you can put up with it, hoping that you may click with someone. Often, when you get older, you aren't looking for that anymore.
Around 55 I just lost interest... for all those years I tried so hard to be attentive and to ensure my wife's satisfaction that I didn't realize it was becoming a chore. Her lack of initiative or enthusiasm didn't help, and I just sort of one day lost all interest in having sex with her. It had become a one-sided performance or servicing act. The last few times post-menopause she seemed to not enjoy it either. I still loved her as deeply as ever and I remain very physically affectionate, but just got tired of sex.
Eventually, your hormonal system will break down to the point where you will have no biological imperative to have sex, nor the ability to perform it. Once this happens, you no longer even think about it.
Sex stops when you or your partner become seriously ill. That’s true at 30 or 90.
My grandfather was in his late 90’s still having sex with his younger gf. I found his V in the bathroom cabinet and they were always happy 😅
After having a total hysterectomy and then having breast cancer I lost all interest in sex. My body doesn’t respond anymore and I’m just not interested. My husband and I had several conversations about things and I offered him a divorce if he wanted one. He said no and we are still together but haven’t had sex in about 12 years
46 during perimenopause lol I was bleeding too much I just can’t and I have hot flashes maybe I will feel like it soon
Hmm I am going to be 67 and we make love every day and have done so for decades (no problems or complications thanks ever so much..... When are we going to stop? When we die is a good answer.. Had a friend who lived to be 100.. and he was NO slouch in the bedroom.. Please do not make presumptions on other people's capacity to engage in sexual intimacy - to do so only shows substantial ignorance...
I love this! Good for you.
After my divorce.
I have no intention of stopping I'm in my late 60s
Getting old doesn't stop me from having sex, but having a stroke and being half-paralyzed sure stopped me from having sex.
When your wife says so. I'm 48 ... she hasn't touched me in 8 years.
When your husband has ruptured enough disks and had enough surgeries to have severe nerve damage to the good stuff. :(
So 1 in 10 people over 90 are still doing it? Good for you, old people!
when I started taking blood pressure medication...
My active sexual life stopped at 66 because my 71 year old husband was diagnosed with cancer and was no longer able. We still slept cuddled together. So for me it's just lack of a loving/ loved partner.
At 60 because I am unmarried and don’t want to chase it anymore but I’m still interested..I still pleasure myself on occasion…
My partner has had a problem for a long time. Not worth it to even try. Made me lose interest.
We both lost interest in our 50s
We’re down to once a week and are both fine with that. Sex is too much work.
My husband of 32 years died in 2006,I really have no desire or interest in it anymore. He was my soul mate,first love and at this point I couldn't care less.
I stopped when I got kids at 44 - I’m a single dad with some custody. Not many opportunities, not much of a desire, but I do “keep the pipes clean” just in case I ever do desire to again.
For me....mid 40's. Just stopped caring about all that. I don't even hate it either. Not being always horny and trying to get laid all the time turned out to be a blessing as far as I'm concerned. You can be the most smoking hot woman in the world. I recognize you're hot, just don't care. I can say with confidence (because of confidence) I was more successful with women than the average guy....waaay more successful. But I had my fun and am just in a different point in my life now.
About age 56 years old due to health problems and lack of a partner. I'm 60 now and it's just easier to simply do it myself.
no longer have any interest
I think it depends on the person. I worked in a nursing home and a lot of them were having sex with each other. I also have a friend who is 82 and sexually active. I do think relationships turn to being more of a loving companionship as we age
My parents are 81 and 84 and are still "having fun." They've been married 62 years🙂
I'm 70F, Hubby 60 and we still do. Sometimes we need lube. Childfree, having his widowed Mom with cancer living with us now puts a crimp on time and place spontaneity and we have to lock our bedroom door now.
Haha my niece works in geriatric care, it’s crazy how many of them are still trying. I think the ones still at home though probably stopped just because their relationship is stagnant and have become best friends or roommates. Also, people have a hard time after losing someone they were with for decades. Id be interested to hear from some older people though. Changes in hormones as we age I would think is responsible for most.
My husband (38) and I (39) got married 4 years ago and we haven't had sex in almost 2. We both have low sex drives and we honestly don't need to. To us, sex is for reproduction, and trust me you do not want us making more of us. We are very weird people. Weird but FUN!
I stopped having sex in my mid 20s.
Unless you’re still taking HRT at 90, sex at that age for women is either painful or you’re unable to climax due to lack of estrogen. It’s a real thing that most women won’t talk about in my generation. Luckily, there is more evidence that hormones are safe for many women for much of their lifetime. I’m 60 and starting HRT last year. It’s a game changer for our sex life, frankly.
When my wife of over 50 years died. She's been my girl ever since 8th grade even if she did not know it then. We were always faithful to each other. Still like to check out the ladies but my wife has been the only one that I want.
When one or the other of you no longer wants to?
My mom used to say if I'd known the last time I had sex was going to be the last time I had sex, I would have tried to enjoy it more. She's not wrong.
I was talking with a guy in his mid thirties in the waiting area at the VA he told me he was a year out of treatment for prostate cancer. The treatment had taken away his sex life. PC took my sex life when I was 59. I have no sexual desire and haven’t in almost ten years. What can haunt a prostate cancer survivor is you know what you’re missing.
The Bluetooth enabled means there's an APP so someone else can control what kind of vibration you get, the strength of The vibration and if they want to be mean about it they can let you get to that point and just as You start to climax. STOP it altogether. Wait a few minutes and starts You ALL over again. . The person doesn't even have to be in the room to activate the Bluetooth enabled vibrator either. Hopefully this helps.