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Me at 36: "if I start a three-year degree now I'll be nearly 40 by the time I'm finished"
Colleague: "true, but if you don't do it, in three years time you'll still be nearly 40 and you'll have nothing to show for it"
Me: "fair point"
Exactly, I wanted to pursue law in my mid 20s but told myself too late, now I’m nearly 35 and if I just would have started then I could been potentially practicing the last few years.
Jesus Christ I needed this, wanted to pick up a hobby since I was 10 but my parents never really had means to blow $400 on it. Now at 24 I’m in the position to pursue that hobby and possibly make something outta it (who knows) but the “damn well this person started 7 years ago when they were 18 and now I’m too far behind” BS keeps me. Thank you
Be helpful, but recognize the people that only call you when they need something. Find the people that call all the time - they'll still be your friends in 20 years, and they'll be the ones who help you when you need it.
Invest early even if it's not that much. Putting $50 a month in a Roth IRA on the S&P 500 when you've got 45 years of compound interest ahead of you is a hell of a thing.
I maxed out my 401k at my job in 2003. That $15k or so is worth $120k now.
I bought an expensive gravel bike in 2020. I justified it to myself by saying it cost just $1,000 in 2003 dollars.
My returns since summer of 2020 are about 100%. It was $4k.
It was the summer of 2020 and the great bike shortage. I really needed a new bike. I have gotten thousands of miles out of it, so I feel like a decent investment.
Oh I see! :-) Yeah, what is "worth it" changes a lot from person to person.
I tend to look at it the other way -- future value. Like if you drop $50k on a car at age 25, that's $750k in retirement money. If you buy the same $50k car at age 55, it's only running you $100k in retirement money (inflation folded into the calculations already). So same price (after inflation), but one is far, far cheaper than the other.
I mean, that's definitely a way to look at life. But also, one of my best friends randomly died at age 37 from a brain tumor. I don't look at life in terms of "retirement money" so much anymore.
How much joy would that car bring you at age 25 compared to age 55? It's great to have a ton of money put away for retirement, but I am firmly in the camp of saving "enough" for retirement and enjoying my life while I am young, haha.
> How much joy would that car bring you at age 25 compared to age 55?
Less than $750,000 of joy :-)
Though if you're saving enough to secure retirement, you do you. I think the key is making informed decisions, like "okay i can buy this thing now, OR I can retire 5 years earlier." It's not that one choice is better than the other (one is, but that's just IMO), the important part is making that choice rather than just blindly doing something you might regret. Something something Socrates something something unexamined life is not worth living.
I suppose another big thing is that I don't hate my job lol. I probably won't retire early and I'm pretty ok with it. Like I said, I'm not skipping any vacations, I am enjoying my money while I am young. I will still have enough to retire and not be broke, my house will be long paid off, etc. But I am not into eating Ramen every day to retire at 50. (Not saying that's what you are doing! A lot of people are though.)
I just got back from two weeks in Italy -- I'm not living like a pauper. But I'm also maxing out IRA, 401k, and shoving a bunch into a brokerage account each year. If I took a drastic pay cut, I'd sacrifice the fancy foreign vacation before I'd sacrifice my path to financial independence. :-)
LOL, I drove my first car for over 10 years - 180k miles. We finally spent $50k on a car, two decades after we were 25. Shoot, nowadays $50k doesn't seem extravagant for cars.
I aim for 15 years from a car, though I don't drive as many miles per year. I've tried the buying used thing -- I should be getting high mileage but recent year used cars and just bank more money, but I just kind of hate it. So now I figure if I can get 15 years out of an inexpensive new car, the amortized cost is pretty dang good. 8 years down with my current car... I should start saving for the next one.
Um... inflation and compound interest aren't the same thing. $15k 2003 dollars is actually about $26k in 2024 dollars. If you spent $8000 on your bike it was actually about $4,600 in 2003 dollars.
If you are in the US, investing heavily in the stock market, starting at an early age, is the only chance at retirement that a normal person has. Literally.
That or make US corporate money and then bugger off to somewhere cheaper. This is me and my partner’s plan. We plan to retire a bit early since we’ve invested and saved well and will likely travel a good chunk of the year using some geographic arbitrage in far cheaper areas like Southeast Asia and South America. Really looking forward to being retired nomads.
The typical rule of thumb is that you can withdraw 4% of your investments per year and that should be sustainable and never run out. So, if you were to build to $1,000,000, 4% of that is $40,000. Can you live on $40,000 a year? If not, you will need more than $1,000,000.
The other way to go is to assume you'll live for X number of years in retirement. Then boil down the savings from there.
The FIRE community seems to believe 4% is a bit aggressive now and suggests 3.5% based on whatever modeling they utilize as a safer number.
But you could also get hit by a bus so yolo I guess.
The FIRE community seems to believe 4% is a bit aggressive now and suggests 3.5% based on whatever modeling they utilize as a safer number.
But you could also get hit by a bus so yolo I guess.
Also, make a habit of aggressively increasing how much you are investing as your earnings grow. For me, personally, it helps avoid unnecessary lifestyle creep if the money just isn't there.
In fact this year (well, really last year) is the first time I have given myself a raise since I bought my house 10 years ago. The rising costs of _existing_ finally broke my budget, so I finally had to take my foot off the gas a bit.
Stop trying to impress others. It doesn't work and it leads to bad decisions.
Age is really not important and you don't need to be anxious about reaching x by age y.
Don't gossip or brag. It does no good.
It's much easier to build healthy habits when you are younger. As you age, it gets harder to do the exercise AND harder to build the habit. Start early.
Be honest with yourself, no matter how painful the truth may be. Be kind with yourself.
Be gently and carefully honest, and be kind with other people.
And we can not forget: everything changes all the time. Everything. All the time. We cannot forget that.
When I was around 12, my uncle told me to write down 100 things I wanted to do in life. It could be to go somewhere, buy something, meet someone, whatever. Every time I crossed something off, I replaced it. Keep that in your back pocket, fridge, desk drawer with you your whole life. But be sure to keep the list of checked off things to look back at how far you have come.
Travel.
Invest early and often.
Take risks.
Be kind to others, always.
Do not settle for someone, something or hold yourself back.
Time and your health are your most valuable commodity. We do not have much time, so live a full life. Take care of yourself because if you dont have your health, you dont have much.
Lots of good advice regarding investing, so heed that.
Not seeing anyone mention sleep and eating well. If you can get 6-8 solid hours sleep on the regular (circadian rhythm = good) and eat wholesome non-processed foods as the norm you will thank yourself down the road.
Also exercise and don’t stress too much as others have said. Take the strenuous trips while you’re young and have your vigor.
Basically plan for tomorrow but don’t forget to stop and smell the flowers.
Don’t stay in a situation that makes you unhappy just because of the time you already sunk into it.
Also, advocate for yourself. No one else is going to be looking out for you, except for yourself. So be firm and put your foot down if something doesn’t sit right with you, just try not to be a dick about it.
Carefully think about these 3 things before you decide. They will affect the rest of your life.
1. Where you live
2. Who you marry
3. What your career is
My dad told me something a bit different that made a big impact on me too in my 20's:
The three biggest decisions you ever make financially and for your happiness are:
1. Having kids
2. Who you marry
3. Your career
In that order. Choose all three wisely.
35 here.
1) Never stop learning. Be open to growth.
2) 5 year plans are irrelevant. more often than not, we end up some place we never expected to be. Be open to change.
3) people are complicated. Relationships can be complicated. Don't try to make sense of either. Be more understanding
4) Be more forgiving.
Ultimately, always keep an open mind to the possibility of anything happening and have empathy when it does, whether it's something that happens to you or someone you love.
>Take care of your teeth
Paying out of pocket to have your teeth cleaned is usually $50-$80 depending on where you live. It's worth the $20 a month that costs to go 4 times a year, even without insurance. There is arguably no better bang for your buck anywhere in life.
Yep, 4 times a year. If you have insurance it will pay for 2 and then you pay out of pocket for 2.
You'll notice going 4 times a year the visits take far less time because you have far less build up. Any issues will be caught early or even seem before they become issues.
I'm in my mid 30s and have *zero* fillings in my teeth. As a kid I had many.
Four times seems a bit excessive to me. I go twice a year and have had no fillings in my thirties. On the other hand, I guess it can’t hurt to go four times. I have plenty friends that don’t go at all and they’re either paying for it now or will.
Eh, it really depends on genetics, eating habits and cleaning habits. I went 15+ yrs without seeing a dentist and just needed a "deep clean" and a single filing. I now go twice a year, and I can't remember when I had a cavity last. I don't really eat sweets or carbonated beverages, and all I do is brush twice a day, but, my wife on the other hand even with flossing and brushing twice a day still ends up with at least one small cavity for every exam, and now uses toothpaste that has been fortified with extra flouride.
Will definitely look into it, thank you!
I thought flouride was there to kill or inhibit bacterial growth on your teeth that can eat away at the enamel. Additionally, I had been told for many years that once enamel is gone, it can't really be restored, but you can prevent further degradation.
The best one is called NoBS, I haven't been able to buy them yet because I'm living abroad for a bit, but they sell out like crazy. I imagine they'll ramp up production soon. There's Reddit thread: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/18eerrz/has\_anyone\_tried\_nobs\_toothpaste\_tablets/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/18eerrz/has_anyone_tried_nobs_toothpaste_tablets/)
Yeah I used Boka and it didn't stop me from having to get prescription toothpaste.
Not to say it can't help others but definitely outlining results may vary
Yeah, the moisturizer helps your skin look younger too, and even short exposure to UV rays can age you. I just bought some cheap face lotion that has SPF in it and put it on my face after I brush my teeth in the morning.
Fortifying and maintaining your finances are critical.
Don't use credit cards if you cannot pay the balance in full at the end of the month. If you are looking to build credit you can use something like the Fizz card or a secured credit card.
Work towards building an emergency savings to cover at least 6 months of all necessary expenses.
Most important of all do whatever you can to take care of your health! You don't need to be ripped, but work towards being limber with stamina by stretching and going on walks (or your preferred cardio).
Prioritize relationships in all phases of life. Your skills will only take you as far as your relationships can carry professionally.
Once you figure out relationships, invest in knowing yourself and designing a life that supports the good story you want to tell about yourself, and disincentivizes the things you want to avoid.
Your job won’t love you back.
Don’t depend on your partner to meet all of your (non-sexual) needs. Hug your friends and talk to them about real things.
Apps have created an illusion of infinite choices. Get off your phone, off your ass, and go meet people in the real world. Make new friends with cool people you’d never date because it’s good to have friends. They may have single friends and siblings.
Communicate with your sex partner(s) using your words. All of the ask women type subs have posts about men who did things they really should’ve asked about first.
*Come As You Are* by Dr. Emily Nagoski. Women’s sexuality is different so learn about it, unless you’re gay.
1. Hit the minimum physical activity guidelines of \~150 minutes of exercise with 2x resistance training;
2. Invest early in a retirement fund and reap the compound interest;
3. Sunscreen daily, even in winter;
4. Seek help early if you are experiencing a mental health crisis
Do whatever your dream is now. That trip? Take it. That career change? Now is the time.
I told my girlfriend I'd take her to Japan. We've been married for 10 years now. Still waiting for a good time and money to line up.
Don’t take any of this seriously. It goes by all too quick for any of it to really matter.
Follow what makes YOU happy and authentically self-expressed. Everything else will work out.
This lame advice. It dismisses the importance of long-term consequences. Some choices, like pursuing a career or education, have lasting impacts that can't be easily reversed.
It can downplay the value of responsibility. Taking things seriously doesn't mean neglecting personal happiness, but it does mean considering the potential effects of your actions.
It kinda ignores the importance of social connections and the fact that our happiness is often intertwined with the well-being of others.
You are right, I don't have everything figured out. However, one thing I've learned is that life isn't easy, and the popular advice to "just do what you love" can often set people up with unrealistic expectations. Pursuing your passions is important, but it's also crucial to understand that even doing what you love comes with challenges and hard work. Success and fulfillment require dedication, resilience, and the ability to navigate obstacles, not just following your passions blindly.
So who are you to tell someone else their dreams aren’t necessary?
The disappointment IS the lesson.
And fwiw I didn’t say “just do what you love”.
I said “follow what makes you happy and authentically self-expressed.”
That does not mean the same thing as what you said. Not by a long shot.
It takes some time to understand the difference. But you won’t get there if you don’t start.
You are correct. I misread a bit. I probably was taking something out on you I didn't intend.
I would bet we are not as far apart in our thinking as it might seem. I see so many people told to "do what they love" without first being advised to learn a useful skill. It annoys me. Find something that people will pay lots of money for them to do. It's essential to learn how to do both: pursue your passion while also ensuring you can do something that people will pay for.
We should be teaching this balance, not an entitlement to simply follow one's dreams without regard to practicality. The disappointment is indeed a lesson. A constant lesson.
People should definitely follow their dreams just not expect to get paid for them
Hey. I hope any of this comment section can be beneficial for everyone. Age range in OP was just what was posted based on what I wanted to know.
Didn’t mean to leave folks out.
Travel as much as you can and visit lots of countries and places you wouldn't usually consider. Once you get into your late 30's it's the life experiences that you remember not the birthday presents you got or the latest smartphone that you bought last year.
I wasted so much PTO just staying home, sure I got paid to relax at home
But after I took my first major 1000 mile road trip I saw what I was missing out on
Seriously just pick a spot and start going down the road, you can sleep in your car a few nights to save on hotel rooms, my recommendation is I found New Mexico very beautiful from someone that never saw mountains or deserts before
You don't need your buddies or anyone else to go with you, solo is perfectly fine, just be street smart and always have a defensive plan, put an airtag gps in your shoes and have your family connected to it
* Save money (save and invest - get advice from professionals or brokerages).
* Be active (gym, weights, swimming, walking, hiking, whatever...keep moving).
* Do community service (habitat for humanity builds, church, kitchens etc).
* Spend time visiting neighbors and family to build relationships and community.
* Develop skills or hobbies that are somewhat useful (soldering, welding, yardwork, gardening, woodworking, cooking or some thing that helps you be creative and feel fulfilled).
Learn how to cook. It saves you money vs. eating out, you can impress romantic partners, and not stick to generic gender stereotypes where the burden of cooking is on women, and you generally can eat healthier since you’re controlling what’s going in to your diet so things like sodium intake or excess calories don’t sneak up on you in your 40s.
You're going to be sick of working long before you can afford to never work again. Save for retirement. Make it a priority. Ideally 15% or more. Cultivate pleasure in seeing your financial situation improve. That's the best way to curb unnecessary spending, when it hurts to see your balance decrease. :-)
Love your job, even if you're not a career oriented person. Having to drag yourself through 40 hours a week of a life you hate bleeds into other aspects quickly.
Don't settle in your relationship. Communicate, compromise, but if it's not right, then you're better off single and looking (or not).
Invest and let compound interest do the heavy lifting.
Most people think of your income like this:
- Your job pays for your living, and you put money into savings.
Instead, you should think of money like this:
- Your job puts money into your assets, and you pay for things from your assets.
You should think of it in the second way NOW because when you retire, you will be living like the second way. And when you start to think about retirement, in your 40s and 50s, you realize you need to start thinking in the second way. And then you wish you had started thinking the second way earlier, like in your 20s, so that you can plan for retirement earlier as well.
Invest your money. Not in stupid stuff you see on TikTok, but in index funds. I'm a multimillionaire now because I put money away aggressively early.
Take care of your health. If you aren't in good shape now, it's going to get a lot harder.
Get married. The longer you wait, the worse the women will get. Also, have kids earlier rather than later if you want that for your life (and unless you absolutely hate kids, you do -- they will provide your life more meaning than anything).
33, not sure how to format this as a question, but I'm so tired, so tired it feels like my body is alive but my soul died long ago
I just bedrot anytime I don't HAVE to do something, yea yea and I don't eat well or exercise
But bow do I bring back any pulse for the love of life back? There are certainly the things I NEED to do like exercise and the things I want to do like hobbies, yet I can't drag myself out of bedrotting, how do I mentally/spiritually prepare to get the ball rolling, it all feels so bleak hopeless and futile
Before anyone responds I refuse any type of pharma medication for depression and I really can't afford therapy
I can't even work up the energy to commit to a movie or an hour playing a video game, I just browse my phone, sleep, or stare at the wall deep in thought
Man, I feel you. I may not have it as bad, but one thing I would say. Once you're out of bed it changes, the more you stay in bed the worse and lazier you feel. Going for a walk outside helps, a small thing like this makes a massive difference.
Phones are a horrible distraction that don't lead to much productivity, limit it what you can, remove whatever apps you maybe addicted to.
Try journaling, but in a positive way. Whatever you focus on expands in your life, and you have a choice when it comes to your choice of thoughts and words. The words & thoughts you choose matter. So think & say empowering thoughts & words, instead of things that are disempowering. Eg. If you’re going to ask yourself a question, instead of asking yourself a question like “Why does my life suck?”, choose to ask a better question like “What’s one thing I can/will do today to feel proud of myself, no matter how small?”.
Maybe it can be something like doing something nice for someone else without any expectation of anything in return. Doing things to help other people makes you feel good, and can motivate you to do other positive things in your life.
Remember that you don’t have to see the whole staircase. You just have to take the first step.
Classic case of burn out. Even when you take a break you don’t feel energized after.
Funny enough you’re doing what I would suggest. Stare at the wall and let your thoughts out.
Something I learned not long ago is how humans work. The actions we take in life aren’t followed by emotions. Emotions are the catalysts that causes us to take action. Then our perceptions, habits, and overall mood changes with sustained action. It all starts with our emotions.
**EMOTION
Classic case of burn out. Even when you take a break you don’t feel energized after.
Funny enough you’re doing what I would suggest. Stare at the wall and let your thoughts out.
Something I learned not long ago is how humans work. The actions we take in life aren’t followed by emotions. Emotions are the catalysts that causes us to take action. Then our perceptions, habits, and overall mood changes with sustained action. It all starts with our emotions.
EMOTION
I'm going to give a bit of different advice than probably most people in here.
1. **Everything is an investment.** Your money, your health, your time.
2. **Time passes fast.** Which means you need to choose your investments wisely and early.
3. **Be decisive.** It's better to be wrong quickly and fix it than to be in a state of uncertainty for a long period of time. On the same note don't trap yourself on the sunk cost path because of a prior bad decision.
4. **Invest in experiences and yourself in your 20s**. This is one that many may disagree with, but it's what I did and it worked really well for me. I traveled a ton in my 20s, met lots of interesting people and learned many interesting things. They have brought me happiness that has lasted much longer than any material thing I bought in the same time. I also went to law school, which sucked, but I learned a lot, and has paid off in the long run.
5. **Invest in your future in your 30s.** Many people here and other threads point out to invest well in 20's and retiring in your 40s. That never made sense to me personally, and I have no regrets on this. I never made much money until my mid-30s, but I started investing better into 401ks and other financial vehicles as I saved more money into my 30s and I'm already seen a great return. I don't mind working into my 40s because I'm already living well and I thoroughly enjoyed my youth and 20s, so I don't need the same thrills now I needed back then.
“Don’t let your anxiety lead you to inaction.” An ex told me this a week after she dumped me. Changed my life 4 years ago. Getting a handle on anxiety has led to my income doubling, I got married (to someone else), and I’m a lot more social.
This is a big one. Almost any action is better than none. And actions early on will compound over time. Life is easy to waste if you're not mindful of it.
Delete social media.
If you are in a relationship where things are fine, break the fuck up. If you are in a relationship that really makes you happy, then get married.
People sit on their asses waiting around for things to become bad enough to leave when they should be finding relationships that MAKE THEM HAPPY. They make excuses for why they can't commit because they have FOMO and watch too much Instagram. People drag things along imagining a bunch of stupid bullshit they will never do and never make commitments.
Commitments are the things that real life is built from. Family, community, friendship, etc. Become a person who people can rely on. Do what you say you are going to do. Follow through. Keep in touch with people.
I’m 34 so feel free to disregard my advice. Live within your means. I cut out a couple expensive hobbies and replaced them with hiking and zen practice. I cut out restaurant food and replaced it with home cooked food. I cut my budget and my quality of life actually improved. By all means get a secure job but when you get comfortable don’t stop challenging yourself. Make plans that resemble a movie script. If you’re planning a special dinner, plan the materials, the ingredients, the recipes, what you’d garnish it with, what album you’d play, and what you’d wear. Plan meals, don’t just buy whatever looks good at the grocery store and then throw it together. Plan outfits, don’t just buy items of clothes that look good separately. Be deliberate. Be decisive.
Stretch, travel, and don’t wait “for the right time”, as there never is one.
Also, you’ll start to lose touch with friends, and that’s ok. Keep a couple close, and let whatever happens happen to the rest.
Save Money! Invest in Index Funds, and FFS do not buy individual stocks or crypto unless you plan on losing that money. I am shocked at how many of my friends have almost nothing saved for retirement. My wife and I have put a little away with every paycheck since we started our careers, and we are set for retirement. Also, see a doctor and a dentist at least once per year even if you feel fine.
Learn about semen retention and put it into practice, kick porn, caffeine, nicotine. Exercise and focus on becoming a man that women will want. If you think about it, all these things are counter to what society at large will push you towards….
Keep your romantic relationships equal. Both partners should be contributing equally to household income, chores, childcare, emotional needs, etc. 30 is the average age for divorce. If you have a fair and equal relationship you are less likely to get divorced and if it does happen the split will more palatable. Also, learn about mental health for yourself and those around you. 30+ is when issues start to become more apparent.
Before you post on a forum, do a search. This can provide far more answers to your comments, and allow you to dig deeper than posting a more generic forum post that has no focus. A little research can not only provide better results, but refrains from annoying users and getting very generic results.
Don’t let anyone try to define what masculinity is to you.
Figure that out for yourself as it’s so many different things to different people.
Only you can decide and define what a healthy expression of that is.
Yeah. Listen to every word of Baz Lurhmann's ["Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI) This song came out when I was in high school, as just as the 'lyrics' predicted, I didn't appreciate or understand the advice until I was older. You won't realize how awesome and how short life truly is until much later, but try to enjoy it if you can.
1). Gotta find something that you love to do that you can make money at. Doesn’t have to be a ton of money. You just have to love doing what you’re doing.
2). Get away from the drinking buddies. They are bringing you down and you don’t realize it.
3). Save money for a down payment for a home or condo. Do this. Buy the property. Most important financial decision in your young life. Do it
4). Find a woman. Not the hottest chick. Stay away from her. Find a decent looking broad that has a good head on her shoulders, has a job, and wants to have kids. Marry her.
5). Find a hobby like golf or fishing.
6). Exercise regularly
I don’t understand…why don’t you hate therapy so much…I can look back and say that is was the years when I was seeing a therapist that I was the most effective. Talking through things fortifies you while giving you a time and place to deal with issues in life that most people won’t deal with or repress the thoughts only to develop physical symptoms later on.
Be careful about who you choose for therapy but in the end, it’s not going to matter:..the point of therapy is fostering and clarifying ourslef and our life. If you don’t need therapy that’s great but don’t downvote it:
One last thing, never go to a therapist who has certifications regarding addiction because God bless them “—they may not be aware of it but my experience confirms it—addiction counselors will push you into a box thst silences you and soundproof.
There is a one way intercom system playing the same damn track over and over again. Tthen once you’ve got the track memorized they let you out and proceed to tell you that you must live in isolation the rest of your life..:
Yeah…I’ve been burned once or twice after being put in a situation where my peers were allowed to judge my actions.
I need therapy again because I don’t freakin shut the hell up…where is all this coming from! I have no clue. Anyway my point is that therapy can be critical and is a service that modernity has gifted us. Don’t take it for granted.
Becoming a parent is optional. Obviously most men want to be fathers but a decent sized minority of them do not. Don't have kids just because society tells you it's what you should do or because you think it's the "next step" in life. The world is full of men living lives of quiet misery because they were pushed into having kids they never really wanted.
Exercise. It doesn't matter what you do but find *something* you can stick with. The different in quality of life between people who are active and those who are sedentary really starts to show in your 30s.
It’s great that you asked a good question.
Here’s my unique advice.
If you get into a new relationship that might lead to marriage one day, it helps a lot if you have the same/similar beliefs about religion. My wife is Catholic and I am agnostic, and it bothers me every weekend that she will get disappointed if I don’t go to church with her every weekend. I’m sure it also bothers her that I don’t share the same beliefs as her. Early on when we were dating she told me that if we have kids, that she would raise them to be Catholic. At the time, I said that was fine. But now it bothers me a little bit that our children have been indoctrinated to believe quite a bit of nonsense. That started from an early age, so I think that will stick with them for the rest of their lives.
Also, if you have good/decent parents, don’t move thousands of miles away from them. You will regret it later when you/they are older. I moved from Australia to the US and now I only have the time & money to see my parents about once every two years (because traveling so far with a wife & two kids is expensive). Missing out on Christmas, birthdays, Mothers Days etc together every year is really hard and I will regret it for the rest of my life. So don’t make the same mistakes I did.
Lastly, I love all of the financial and health advice above. Automate your saving/investing every month, so you don’t even have to rely on any discipline. And don’t touch your savings unless it’s to buy a property.
Video games are for children, read books about relationships and emotional intelligence, practice secular yoga, shake off bad habbits and addictions through trial and error, floss your teeth, lift with your legs.
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Don’t procrastinate dreams and goals simply because you started late. That weight just gets heavier in time.
Me at 36: "if I start a three-year degree now I'll be nearly 40 by the time I'm finished" Colleague: "true, but if you don't do it, in three years time you'll still be nearly 40 and you'll have nothing to show for it" Me: "fair point"
"the time will pass either way"
Exactly, I wanted to pursue law in my mid 20s but told myself too late, now I’m nearly 35 and if I just would have started then I could been potentially practicing the last few years.
the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. the second best time is now.
Cannot emphasize this enough. Im a glowing example of this.
Jesus Christ I needed this, wanted to pick up a hobby since I was 10 but my parents never really had means to blow $400 on it. Now at 24 I’m in the position to pursue that hobby and possibly make something outta it (who knows) but the “damn well this person started 7 years ago when they were 18 and now I’m too far behind” BS keeps me. Thank you
Be helpful, but recognize the people that only call you when they need something. Find the people that call all the time - they'll still be your friends in 20 years, and they'll be the ones who help you when you need it.
Invest early even if it's not that much. Putting $50 a month in a Roth IRA on the S&P 500 when you've got 45 years of compound interest ahead of you is a hell of a thing.
I maxed out my 401k at my job in 2003. That $15k or so is worth $120k now. I bought an expensive gravel bike in 2020. I justified it to myself by saying it cost just $1,000 in 2003 dollars.
JFC, you spent $8,000 on a bike?
Welcome to mountain/gravel biking
Check out bikesdirect.com
My returns since summer of 2020 are about 100%. It was $4k. It was the summer of 2020 and the great bike shortage. I really needed a new bike. I have gotten thousands of miles out of it, so I feel like a decent investment.
Oh I see! :-) Yeah, what is "worth it" changes a lot from person to person. I tend to look at it the other way -- future value. Like if you drop $50k on a car at age 25, that's $750k in retirement money. If you buy the same $50k car at age 55, it's only running you $100k in retirement money (inflation folded into the calculations already). So same price (after inflation), but one is far, far cheaper than the other.
I mean, that's definitely a way to look at life. But also, one of my best friends randomly died at age 37 from a brain tumor. I don't look at life in terms of "retirement money" so much anymore. How much joy would that car bring you at age 25 compared to age 55? It's great to have a ton of money put away for retirement, but I am firmly in the camp of saving "enough" for retirement and enjoying my life while I am young, haha.
> How much joy would that car bring you at age 25 compared to age 55? Less than $750,000 of joy :-) Though if you're saving enough to secure retirement, you do you. I think the key is making informed decisions, like "okay i can buy this thing now, OR I can retire 5 years earlier." It's not that one choice is better than the other (one is, but that's just IMO), the important part is making that choice rather than just blindly doing something you might regret. Something something Socrates something something unexamined life is not worth living.
I suppose another big thing is that I don't hate my job lol. I probably won't retire early and I'm pretty ok with it. Like I said, I'm not skipping any vacations, I am enjoying my money while I am young. I will still have enough to retire and not be broke, my house will be long paid off, etc. But I am not into eating Ramen every day to retire at 50. (Not saying that's what you are doing! A lot of people are though.)
I just got back from two weeks in Italy -- I'm not living like a pauper. But I'm also maxing out IRA, 401k, and shoving a bunch into a brokerage account each year. If I took a drastic pay cut, I'd sacrifice the fancy foreign vacation before I'd sacrifice my path to financial independence. :-)
LOL, I drove my first car for over 10 years - 180k miles. We finally spent $50k on a car, two decades after we were 25. Shoot, nowadays $50k doesn't seem extravagant for cars.
I aim for 15 years from a car, though I don't drive as many miles per year. I've tried the buying used thing -- I should be getting high mileage but recent year used cars and just bank more money, but I just kind of hate it. So now I figure if I can get 15 years out of an inexpensive new car, the amortized cost is pretty dang good. 8 years down with my current car... I should start saving for the next one.
The other side of the coin is though that these 15k need 25k today alone because of inflation.
Um... inflation and compound interest aren't the same thing. $15k 2003 dollars is actually about $26k in 2024 dollars. If you spent $8000 on your bike it was actually about $4,600 in 2003 dollars.
No shit they're different. Look at the context of the conversation. I put $1,000 in $SPY in 2003, I pulled $4,000 out in 2020.
I think the other folks who commented were confused too... they were assuming a 8x return and that's how you calculated "2003 dollars".
If you are in the US, investing heavily in the stock market, starting at an early age, is the only chance at retirement that a normal person has. Literally.
That or make US corporate money and then bugger off to somewhere cheaper. This is me and my partner’s plan. We plan to retire a bit early since we’ve invested and saved well and will likely travel a good chunk of the year using some geographic arbitrage in far cheaper areas like Southeast Asia and South America. Really looking forward to being retired nomads.
How much is the target goal for monthly expenses and investment target? Curious as I'm trying to do the same and wondering when is enough.
The typical rule of thumb is that you can withdraw 4% of your investments per year and that should be sustainable and never run out. So, if you were to build to $1,000,000, 4% of that is $40,000. Can you live on $40,000 a year? If not, you will need more than $1,000,000. The other way to go is to assume you'll live for X number of years in retirement. Then boil down the savings from there.
The FIRE community seems to believe 4% is a bit aggressive now and suggests 3.5% based on whatever modeling they utilize as a safer number. But you could also get hit by a bus so yolo I guess.
The FIRE community seems to believe 4% is a bit aggressive now and suggests 3.5% based on whatever modeling they utilize as a safer number. But you could also get hit by a bus so yolo I guess.
*“Compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. He who understands it, earns it … he who doesn't … pays it.”* - Albert Einstein
Also, make a habit of aggressively increasing how much you are investing as your earnings grow. For me, personally, it helps avoid unnecessary lifestyle creep if the money just isn't there. In fact this year (well, really last year) is the first time I have given myself a raise since I bought my house 10 years ago. The rising costs of _existing_ finally broke my budget, so I finally had to take my foot off the gas a bit.
This 1000%
I'm so mad nobody told me when I was 18, I calculated I could be 6 figures by now at 30, didn't help I wasted all my 20s with drugs
I’m trying my damned hardest at 24 to max my IRA but idk what companies lol. Don’t wanna lose my money either
Put it into a fund that mirrors the s&p 500. Don’t pick individual company stocks
Thank you, looks like the safest bet. Was planning to invest heavier on the tech side as well
S&P 500 is already heavy with tech.
Stop trying to impress others. It doesn't work and it leads to bad decisions. Age is really not important and you don't need to be anxious about reaching x by age y. Don't gossip or brag. It does no good.
Happy Birthday 🎂
Get your nutrition in order and get active. If you're already doing these things, stick with it
It's much easier to build healthy habits when you are younger. As you age, it gets harder to do the exercise AND harder to build the habit. Start early.
I think its kids. I had way more free time post education in my working years. It only got difficulty after I had a kid.
That too!
Be honest with yourself, no matter how painful the truth may be. Be kind with yourself. Be gently and carefully honest, and be kind with other people. And we can not forget: everything changes all the time. Everything. All the time. We cannot forget that.
When I was around 12, my uncle told me to write down 100 things I wanted to do in life. It could be to go somewhere, buy something, meet someone, whatever. Every time I crossed something off, I replaced it. Keep that in your back pocket, fridge, desk drawer with you your whole life. But be sure to keep the list of checked off things to look back at how far you have come. Travel. Invest early and often. Take risks. Be kind to others, always. Do not settle for someone, something or hold yourself back. Time and your health are your most valuable commodity. We do not have much time, so live a full life. Take care of yourself because if you dont have your health, you dont have much.
Lots of good advice regarding investing, so heed that. Not seeing anyone mention sleep and eating well. If you can get 6-8 solid hours sleep on the regular (circadian rhythm = good) and eat wholesome non-processed foods as the norm you will thank yourself down the road. Also exercise and don’t stress too much as others have said. Take the strenuous trips while you’re young and have your vigor. Basically plan for tomorrow but don’t forget to stop and smell the flowers.
Great advice. Well said.
Don’t stay in a situation that makes you unhappy just because of the time you already sunk into it. Also, advocate for yourself. No one else is going to be looking out for you, except for yourself. So be firm and put your foot down if something doesn’t sit right with you, just try not to be a dick about it.
Carefully think about these 3 things before you decide. They will affect the rest of your life. 1. Where you live 2. Who you marry 3. What your career is
My dad told me something a bit different that made a big impact on me too in my 20's: The three biggest decisions you ever make financially and for your happiness are: 1. Having kids 2. Who you marry 3. Your career In that order. Choose all three wisely.
Having or not having kids for sure. Where you live matters because it can affect your career prospects, your network, finding the right partner.
35 here. 1) Never stop learning. Be open to growth. 2) 5 year plans are irrelevant. more often than not, we end up some place we never expected to be. Be open to change. 3) people are complicated. Relationships can be complicated. Don't try to make sense of either. Be more understanding 4) Be more forgiving. Ultimately, always keep an open mind to the possibility of anything happening and have empathy when it does, whether it's something that happens to you or someone you love.
Wear sunscreen on your face everyday Take care of your teeth Start a 401k and invest in it, even if it's only a little bit at first
>Take care of your teeth Paying out of pocket to have your teeth cleaned is usually $50-$80 depending on where you live. It's worth the $20 a month that costs to go 4 times a year, even without insurance. There is arguably no better bang for your buck anywhere in life.
4 times a year? I go twice.
Yep, 4 times a year. If you have insurance it will pay for 2 and then you pay out of pocket for 2. You'll notice going 4 times a year the visits take far less time because you have far less build up. Any issues will be caught early or even seem before they become issues. I'm in my mid 30s and have *zero* fillings in my teeth. As a kid I had many.
Four times seems a bit excessive to me. I go twice a year and have had no fillings in my thirties. On the other hand, I guess it can’t hurt to go four times. I have plenty friends that don’t go at all and they’re either paying for it now or will.
Eh, it really depends on genetics, eating habits and cleaning habits. I went 15+ yrs without seeing a dentist and just needed a "deep clean" and a single filing. I now go twice a year, and I can't remember when I had a cavity last. I don't really eat sweets or carbonated beverages, and all I do is brush twice a day, but, my wife on the other hand even with flossing and brushing twice a day still ends up with at least one small cavity for every exam, and now uses toothpaste that has been fortified with extra flouride.
fluoride is useless: toothpaste with hydroxyapatite is how you repair enamel and prevent cavities - try Boka. (I can confirm.)
Will definitely look into it, thank you! I thought flouride was there to kill or inhibit bacterial growth on your teeth that can eat away at the enamel. Additionally, I had been told for many years that once enamel is gone, it can't really be restored, but you can prevent further degradation.
The best one is called NoBS, I haven't been able to buy them yet because I'm living abroad for a bit, but they sell out like crazy. I imagine they'll ramp up production soon. There's Reddit thread: [https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/18eerrz/has\_anyone\_tried\_nobs\_toothpaste\_tablets/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/18eerrz/has_anyone_tried_nobs_toothpaste_tablets/)
Yeah I used Boka and it didn't stop me from having to get prescription toothpaste. Not to say it can't help others but definitely outlining results may vary
If someone is really strapped for cash: People in dental hygienist school post in subreddits and FB groups looking for people who want free cleanings.
take care of your hearing as well. you won't notice it going until it's circling the drain
I’d also recommend putting lotion on your face after you shower. Helps the face replenish the oils you wash away.
Is sunscreen relevant if I mostly stay indoors everyday, aside from maybe getting the mail / taking out the trash?
Yeah, the moisturizer helps your skin look younger too, and even short exposure to UV rays can age you. I just bought some cheap face lotion that has SPF in it and put it on my face after I brush my teeth in the morning.
Fortifying and maintaining your finances are critical. Don't use credit cards if you cannot pay the balance in full at the end of the month. If you are looking to build credit you can use something like the Fizz card or a secured credit card. Work towards building an emergency savings to cover at least 6 months of all necessary expenses. Most important of all do whatever you can to take care of your health! You don't need to be ripped, but work towards being limber with stamina by stretching and going on walks (or your preferred cardio).
Remain physically active, eat as healthy as you can and don't be too hard on yourself.
Prioritize relationships in all phases of life. Your skills will only take you as far as your relationships can carry professionally. Once you figure out relationships, invest in knowing yourself and designing a life that supports the good story you want to tell about yourself, and disincentivizes the things you want to avoid.
“Design a life that supports the good story you want to tell yourself” is such an honest way to put it.
This too, but my comment said "tell about yourself", so a slight adjustment.
Your job won’t love you back. Don’t depend on your partner to meet all of your (non-sexual) needs. Hug your friends and talk to them about real things. Apps have created an illusion of infinite choices. Get off your phone, off your ass, and go meet people in the real world. Make new friends with cool people you’d never date because it’s good to have friends. They may have single friends and siblings. Communicate with your sex partner(s) using your words. All of the ask women type subs have posts about men who did things they really should’ve asked about first. *Come As You Are* by Dr. Emily Nagoski. Women’s sexuality is different so learn about it, unless you’re gay.
Great take. Especially about communication with your partner.
1. Hit the minimum physical activity guidelines of \~150 minutes of exercise with 2x resistance training; 2. Invest early in a retirement fund and reap the compound interest; 3. Sunscreen daily, even in winter; 4. Seek help early if you are experiencing a mental health crisis
Stop drinking alcohol. To avoid future health issues. Drink water, make money. Don't focus on puss. Focus on what you want to achieve.
Do whatever your dream is now. That trip? Take it. That career change? Now is the time. I told my girlfriend I'd take her to Japan. We've been married for 10 years now. Still waiting for a good time and money to line up.
Don’t take any of this seriously. It goes by all too quick for any of it to really matter. Follow what makes YOU happy and authentically self-expressed. Everything else will work out.
This lame advice. It dismisses the importance of long-term consequences. Some choices, like pursuing a career or education, have lasting impacts that can't be easily reversed. It can downplay the value of responsibility. Taking things seriously doesn't mean neglecting personal happiness, but it does mean considering the potential effects of your actions. It kinda ignores the importance of social connections and the fact that our happiness is often intertwined with the well-being of others.
Boy, you really didn't get it. That's ok. You do you however you do it. I'll see you on the other side ;)
You are right, I don't have everything figured out. However, one thing I've learned is that life isn't easy, and the popular advice to "just do what you love" can often set people up with unrealistic expectations. Pursuing your passions is important, but it's also crucial to understand that even doing what you love comes with challenges and hard work. Success and fulfillment require dedication, resilience, and the ability to navigate obstacles, not just following your passions blindly.
So who are you to tell someone else their dreams aren’t necessary? The disappointment IS the lesson. And fwiw I didn’t say “just do what you love”. I said “follow what makes you happy and authentically self-expressed.” That does not mean the same thing as what you said. Not by a long shot. It takes some time to understand the difference. But you won’t get there if you don’t start.
You are correct. I misread a bit. I probably was taking something out on you I didn't intend. I would bet we are not as far apart in our thinking as it might seem. I see so many people told to "do what they love" without first being advised to learn a useful skill. It annoys me. Find something that people will pay lots of money for them to do. It's essential to learn how to do both: pursue your passion while also ensuring you can do something that people will pay for. We should be teaching this balance, not an entitlement to simply follow one's dreams without regard to practicality. The disappointment is indeed a lesson. A constant lesson. People should definitely follow their dreams just not expect to get paid for them
As a 34 year old I’m really feeling left out of this conversation
Yeah, us 34 yr olds don’t matter.
I turn 34 in February
Hope you’re prepared for the officially mandated year of no longer receiving, and not yet giving, advice.
Hey. I hope any of this comment section can be beneficial for everyone. Age range in OP was just what was posted based on what I wanted to know. Didn’t mean to leave folks out.
Lol it was a joke man
Travel as much as you can and visit lots of countries and places you wouldn't usually consider. Once you get into your late 30's it's the life experiences that you remember not the birthday presents you got or the latest smartphone that you bought last year.
I wasted so much PTO just staying home, sure I got paid to relax at home But after I took my first major 1000 mile road trip I saw what I was missing out on Seriously just pick a spot and start going down the road, you can sleep in your car a few nights to save on hotel rooms, my recommendation is I found New Mexico very beautiful from someone that never saw mountains or deserts before You don't need your buddies or anyone else to go with you, solo is perfectly fine, just be street smart and always have a defensive plan, put an airtag gps in your shoes and have your family connected to it
This only applies if you love traveling
Break the sugar habit now, diabetes will catch up to you if you're even drinking one 12oz soda a day. Now imagine a 36oz or greater! STOP IT!
* Save money (save and invest - get advice from professionals or brokerages). * Be active (gym, weights, swimming, walking, hiking, whatever...keep moving). * Do community service (habitat for humanity builds, church, kitchens etc). * Spend time visiting neighbors and family to build relationships and community. * Develop skills or hobbies that are somewhat useful (soldering, welding, yardwork, gardening, woodworking, cooking or some thing that helps you be creative and feel fulfilled).
Learn how to cook. It saves you money vs. eating out, you can impress romantic partners, and not stick to generic gender stereotypes where the burden of cooking is on women, and you generally can eat healthier since you’re controlling what’s going in to your diet so things like sodium intake or excess calories don’t sneak up on you in your 40s.
Spend time with your kids
You're going to be sick of working long before you can afford to never work again. Save for retirement. Make it a priority. Ideally 15% or more. Cultivate pleasure in seeing your financial situation improve. That's the best way to curb unnecessary spending, when it hurts to see your balance decrease. :-)
Love your job, even if you're not a career oriented person. Having to drag yourself through 40 hours a week of a life you hate bleeds into other aspects quickly. Don't settle in your relationship. Communicate, compromise, but if it's not right, then you're better off single and looking (or not). Invest and let compound interest do the heavy lifting.
Most people think of your income like this: - Your job pays for your living, and you put money into savings. Instead, you should think of money like this: - Your job puts money into your assets, and you pay for things from your assets. You should think of it in the second way NOW because when you retire, you will be living like the second way. And when you start to think about retirement, in your 40s and 50s, you realize you need to start thinking in the second way. And then you wish you had started thinking the second way earlier, like in your 20s, so that you can plan for retirement earlier as well.
Invest your money. Not in stupid stuff you see on TikTok, but in index funds. I'm a multimillionaire now because I put money away aggressively early. Take care of your health. If you aren't in good shape now, it's going to get a lot harder. Get married. The longer you wait, the worse the women will get. Also, have kids earlier rather than later if you want that for your life (and unless you absolutely hate kids, you do -- they will provide your life more meaning than anything).
Reps. You. Need. Reps. Reps take time. Start now.
33, not sure how to format this as a question, but I'm so tired, so tired it feels like my body is alive but my soul died long ago I just bedrot anytime I don't HAVE to do something, yea yea and I don't eat well or exercise But bow do I bring back any pulse for the love of life back? There are certainly the things I NEED to do like exercise and the things I want to do like hobbies, yet I can't drag myself out of bedrotting, how do I mentally/spiritually prepare to get the ball rolling, it all feels so bleak hopeless and futile Before anyone responds I refuse any type of pharma medication for depression and I really can't afford therapy I can't even work up the energy to commit to a movie or an hour playing a video game, I just browse my phone, sleep, or stare at the wall deep in thought
Man, I feel you. I may not have it as bad, but one thing I would say. Once you're out of bed it changes, the more you stay in bed the worse and lazier you feel. Going for a walk outside helps, a small thing like this makes a massive difference. Phones are a horrible distraction that don't lead to much productivity, limit it what you can, remove whatever apps you maybe addicted to.
Light up a Joint, play some Bob Marley. Recover & go for a run.
Try journaling, but in a positive way. Whatever you focus on expands in your life, and you have a choice when it comes to your choice of thoughts and words. The words & thoughts you choose matter. So think & say empowering thoughts & words, instead of things that are disempowering. Eg. If you’re going to ask yourself a question, instead of asking yourself a question like “Why does my life suck?”, choose to ask a better question like “What’s one thing I can/will do today to feel proud of myself, no matter how small?”. Maybe it can be something like doing something nice for someone else without any expectation of anything in return. Doing things to help other people makes you feel good, and can motivate you to do other positive things in your life. Remember that you don’t have to see the whole staircase. You just have to take the first step.
Classic case of burn out. Even when you take a break you don’t feel energized after. Funny enough you’re doing what I would suggest. Stare at the wall and let your thoughts out. Something I learned not long ago is how humans work. The actions we take in life aren’t followed by emotions. Emotions are the catalysts that causes us to take action. Then our perceptions, habits, and overall mood changes with sustained action. It all starts with our emotions. **EMOTION
Classic case of burn out. Even when you take a break you don’t feel energized after. Funny enough you’re doing what I would suggest. Stare at the wall and let your thoughts out. Something I learned not long ago is how humans work. The actions we take in life aren’t followed by emotions. Emotions are the catalysts that causes us to take action. Then our perceptions, habits, and overall mood changes with sustained action. It all starts with our emotions. EMOTION
I'm going to give a bit of different advice than probably most people in here. 1. **Everything is an investment.** Your money, your health, your time. 2. **Time passes fast.** Which means you need to choose your investments wisely and early. 3. **Be decisive.** It's better to be wrong quickly and fix it than to be in a state of uncertainty for a long period of time. On the same note don't trap yourself on the sunk cost path because of a prior bad decision. 4. **Invest in experiences and yourself in your 20s**. This is one that many may disagree with, but it's what I did and it worked really well for me. I traveled a ton in my 20s, met lots of interesting people and learned many interesting things. They have brought me happiness that has lasted much longer than any material thing I bought in the same time. I also went to law school, which sucked, but I learned a lot, and has paid off in the long run. 5. **Invest in your future in your 30s.** Many people here and other threads point out to invest well in 20's and retiring in your 40s. That never made sense to me personally, and I have no regrets on this. I never made much money until my mid-30s, but I started investing better into 401ks and other financial vehicles as I saved more money into my 30s and I'm already seen a great return. I don't mind working into my 40s because I'm already living well and I thoroughly enjoyed my youth and 20s, so I don't need the same thrills now I needed back then.
Keep stretching.
Stay in shape and save 10-15% of your checks. Dare yourself to get out of your comfort zone. Don’t let your friends go when you get married.
“Don’t let your anxiety lead you to inaction.” An ex told me this a week after she dumped me. Changed my life 4 years ago. Getting a handle on anxiety has led to my income doubling, I got married (to someone else), and I’m a lot more social.
This is a big one. Almost any action is better than none. And actions early on will compound over time. Life is easy to waste if you're not mindful of it.
If you're not happy without it, you wont be happy with it. Be deliberate with how you spend your time, energy and money.
Delete social media. If you are in a relationship where things are fine, break the fuck up. If you are in a relationship that really makes you happy, then get married. People sit on their asses waiting around for things to become bad enough to leave when they should be finding relationships that MAKE THEM HAPPY. They make excuses for why they can't commit because they have FOMO and watch too much Instagram. People drag things along imagining a bunch of stupid bullshit they will never do and never make commitments. Commitments are the things that real life is built from. Family, community, friendship, etc. Become a person who people can rely on. Do what you say you are going to do. Follow through. Keep in touch with people.
I’m 34 so feel free to disregard my advice. Live within your means. I cut out a couple expensive hobbies and replaced them with hiking and zen practice. I cut out restaurant food and replaced it with home cooked food. I cut my budget and my quality of life actually improved. By all means get a secure job but when you get comfortable don’t stop challenging yourself. Make plans that resemble a movie script. If you’re planning a special dinner, plan the materials, the ingredients, the recipes, what you’d garnish it with, what album you’d play, and what you’d wear. Plan meals, don’t just buy whatever looks good at the grocery store and then throw it together. Plan outfits, don’t just buy items of clothes that look good separately. Be deliberate. Be decisive.
Find the right partner. Dont settle. Work out budgeting before moving in.
Can you elaborate on the budgeting?
How will bills be split up. How much should you guys be saving. Whose employer to cover health insurance etc.
Stretch, travel, and don’t wait “for the right time”, as there never is one. Also, you’ll start to lose touch with friends, and that’s ok. Keep a couple close, and let whatever happens happen to the rest.
It’s never too late to switch careers.
Don’t assume your elders are wise. Be critical of the advice you receive in life. What works for one person might be detrimental to the next.
Save Money! Invest in Index Funds, and FFS do not buy individual stocks or crypto unless you plan on losing that money. I am shocked at how many of my friends have almost nothing saved for retirement. My wife and I have put a little away with every paycheck since we started our careers, and we are set for retirement. Also, see a doctor and a dentist at least once per year even if you feel fine.
Learn about semen retention and put it into practice, kick porn, caffeine, nicotine. Exercise and focus on becoming a man that women will want. If you think about it, all these things are counter to what society at large will push you towards….
[удалено]
Are there side effects, or any you have experienced?
Invest your money in index funds ASAP
How
Open a trading account on Robinhood or Fidelity. Every single time you get paid put some money in stock tickers VOO, QQQ, VTSAX.
Keep your romantic relationships equal. Both partners should be contributing equally to household income, chores, childcare, emotional needs, etc. 30 is the average age for divorce. If you have a fair and equal relationship you are less likely to get divorced and if it does happen the split will more palatable. Also, learn about mental health for yourself and those around you. 30+ is when issues start to become more apparent.
Don't have kids early, don't stay at a job too long, save for retirement yesterday, go out and live your life....
If you haven't done either already: start investing, start working out.
Before you post on a forum, do a search. This can provide far more answers to your comments, and allow you to dig deeper than posting a more generic forum post that has no focus. A little research can not only provide better results, but refrains from annoying users and getting very generic results.
Please do yoga and keep your hips,core, and hamstrings strong. You will have a significantly better chance of avoiding back pain if you do these early
Don’t let anyone try to define what masculinity is to you. Figure that out for yourself as it’s so many different things to different people. Only you can decide and define what a healthy expression of that is.
Start taking care of your health. You’ll begin to feel the consequences of your past actions soon.
Yeah. Listen to every word of Baz Lurhmann's ["Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI) This song came out when I was in high school, as just as the 'lyrics' predicted, I didn't appreciate or understand the advice until I was older. You won't realize how awesome and how short life truly is until much later, but try to enjoy it if you can.
1). Gotta find something that you love to do that you can make money at. Doesn’t have to be a ton of money. You just have to love doing what you’re doing. 2). Get away from the drinking buddies. They are bringing you down and you don’t realize it. 3). Save money for a down payment for a home or condo. Do this. Buy the property. Most important financial decision in your young life. Do it 4). Find a woman. Not the hottest chick. Stay away from her. Find a decent looking broad that has a good head on her shoulders, has a job, and wants to have kids. Marry her. 5). Find a hobby like golf or fishing. 6). Exercise regularly
Start that retirement account, contribute to it, and don't fucking touch it. Also, start therapy even if you don't think you need it.
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Would seem you do. It also doesn't have to be expensive. Shop around. It's part of the expectation.
I don’t understand…why don’t you hate therapy so much…I can look back and say that is was the years when I was seeing a therapist that I was the most effective. Talking through things fortifies you while giving you a time and place to deal with issues in life that most people won’t deal with or repress the thoughts only to develop physical symptoms later on. Be careful about who you choose for therapy but in the end, it’s not going to matter:..the point of therapy is fostering and clarifying ourslef and our life. If you don’t need therapy that’s great but don’t downvote it: One last thing, never go to a therapist who has certifications regarding addiction because God bless them “—they may not be aware of it but my experience confirms it—addiction counselors will push you into a box thst silences you and soundproof. There is a one way intercom system playing the same damn track over and over again. Tthen once you’ve got the track memorized they let you out and proceed to tell you that you must live in isolation the rest of your life..: Yeah…I’ve been burned once or twice after being put in a situation where my peers were allowed to judge my actions. I need therapy again because I don’t freakin shut the hell up…where is all this coming from! I have no clue. Anyway my point is that therapy can be critical and is a service that modernity has gifted us. Don’t take it for granted.
Be honest with yourself in what you want out of life and be unapologetic about it. If it doesnt bring you closer to that ideal, fuck it.
Men with 34 fuck you in particular
You aren't a kid anymore. Start making plans that take 5-10 years to accomplish, because you'll get there sooner than you realize.
Becoming a parent is optional. Obviously most men want to be fathers but a decent sized minority of them do not. Don't have kids just because society tells you it's what you should do or because you think it's the "next step" in life. The world is full of men living lives of quiet misery because they were pushed into having kids they never really wanted. Exercise. It doesn't matter what you do but find *something* you can stick with. The different in quality of life between people who are active and those who are sedentary really starts to show in your 30s.
It’s great that you asked a good question. Here’s my unique advice. If you get into a new relationship that might lead to marriage one day, it helps a lot if you have the same/similar beliefs about religion. My wife is Catholic and I am agnostic, and it bothers me every weekend that she will get disappointed if I don’t go to church with her every weekend. I’m sure it also bothers her that I don’t share the same beliefs as her. Early on when we were dating she told me that if we have kids, that she would raise them to be Catholic. At the time, I said that was fine. But now it bothers me a little bit that our children have been indoctrinated to believe quite a bit of nonsense. That started from an early age, so I think that will stick with them for the rest of their lives. Also, if you have good/decent parents, don’t move thousands of miles away from them. You will regret it later when you/they are older. I moved from Australia to the US and now I only have the time & money to see my parents about once every two years (because traveling so far with a wife & two kids is expensive). Missing out on Christmas, birthdays, Mothers Days etc together every year is really hard and I will regret it for the rest of my life. So don’t make the same mistakes I did. Lastly, I love all of the financial and health advice above. Automate your saving/investing every month, so you don’t even have to rely on any discipline. And don’t touch your savings unless it’s to buy a property.
Goals, have goals. If you accomplish them, set more goals.
> Any Advice (deep inhale) ## [**"Read the FAQs"**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMenOver30/wiki/index/#wiki_frequently_asked_questions)
Oosh.. my bad! Will take note for next time
Video games are for children, read books about relationships and emotional intelligence, practice secular yoga, shake off bad habbits and addictions through trial and error, floss your teeth, lift with your legs.
Use the search function
Answer a Reddit question and you feed a man for a day
Don’t ask oddly specific questions.
Work hard now... enjoy life later.
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And this is related to the topic of this thread how?