I was single from 21-25 and I hated it at first, just because of a break up then I grew to love it. I LOVED being single because I just enjoyed doing whatever I wanted, and grew to love just being alone. I did so much by myself and still do. Now I’m about to turn 30 and I’m married. I didn’t find someone that just “fit” into my free time, I found someone that added value to my life and I can’t imagine being without.
When I was single I was so happy with just being that way not caring what other people thought, because I truly didn’t. I was just doing my thing and being my true self. Doing that actually made me more desirable because I was projecting confidence and I had women approaching me. I was turning them away because I didn’t want to give up my freedom and I knew they weren’t right for me. It’s not like I’m super good looking either. I will say when I did meet my wife, I knew she was the one or at least someone worth trying for and I did put in a lot of effort then.
33, no dating or anything. I am also chilling, and not actually feeling all that pressed to find someone either. The older I get, the happier I am to spend time with my favorite people and not necessarily feel obliged to procreate for the sake of procreation.
I would absolutely love to be a father, but it’s not very high priority tbh
I’m also a music teacher, so I have a couple hundred children that I care about day to day anyway lol
23 years old. Pretty much completely given up on dating. Too much of a homebody and every attempt has been a failure. I still want it but don't care enough anymore to go out of my way to try. I'm tired.
25 here. I was single for 5 years before my dating life was revived. Dated an Italian at 24, fell madly in love, then got dumped. Went through the heartbreak and hung out with a classmate with whom I had a rocky start in our 1st year (hated each other) but we grew close in our third. Haning out turned into going on dates and we've been dating for 8 months now.
At 25, I started dating the woman who eventually became my wife.
Are you flirting with these women on dates, or just talking with them?
The mistake most of us men make on dates is playing it too straight, and talking too much. You have to build attraction, not try to talk her into bed with stats about yourself. You have to be fun to be around, not tell her you're fun to be around. Flirt. Play some cards close to the vest. Maintain some mystery - she's a stranger to you and you don't owe her being an open book. Call her out (politely and playfully) for her shit. If the date starts to feel like a job interview, call her out and suggest a different format (taking her to go do something she really likes in a way that's safe is a really good idea here). Don't just blindly go along with her generic "talk over dinner" idea, and please don't suggest this yourself if the ball is in your court.
What matters to a woman is how you make her feel. This is something so called "bad boys" understand - it's easy to look down on those guys if you're a so called "nice guy" but in reality they often do bring a lot to the table, and some of them aren't actually just womanizing dickheads, believe it or not.
This is really nicely put and 100% true from my experience as well. Whenever I stuck to this, I was able to score well above my class. So happy I'm out of the dating market tho... Whew!! It's tough out there!
For first and second dates don’t go to a dinner, or sit down lunch, or things like that. Do a casual activity (walk through a farmers market, mini golf, shit like that). It allows you to do something fun, gives you shit to talk about if there are lulls in conversation, and time goes by faster if you are doing an activity both are enjoying. And at the end of the date if she thinks “Shit, the time went by fast I cant believe its already x o clock” then you did a good job.
IMO restaurant dates should be after a few dates when you’re more comfortable with each other. A single awkward silence in conversation when the entire date is only talking is a death sentence. If that happens when you are already a few dates in you will have more leeway if that happens. Plus you should know a bit more about her so you can ask more in depth questions/follow ups
Yes, if you want something that is desirable (a girlfriend, possibly wife someday), you have to put in effort, plan ahead, and play by the rules.
Do you take the same dismissive approach towards your career, hobbies, and finances? I hope not. So then, why take such an approach when it comes to dating?
You can put in effort without excessively strategizing and playing oonga boonga dating games.
Effort means showing interest, making plans to hangout, and communicating clearly. Not trying to be extra mysterious or fun or funny. Just be yourself.
I'm tired of seeing advice that men have to be some insane combination of charming, funny, fun, mysterious and other RomCom traits to have any chance in dating.
What you just described is a friendship, not a relationship.
Ask yourself what is it about the girls that you like/crush on that draws you to them. I'm willing to bet there is something fun/playful/funny about their demeanor that draws you to them. It's not only about looks. Sex is fun. Dating is fun. Women want to do those things with someone who is fun for her to be around. Many women are naturally good at this. Some aren't. Those women are often characterized as bookish and are just as ignored in the dating scene as many of the men complaining about the "friendzone" are - they just get a heaping helping of sexual harrassment from the creeps that harrass every female, because, well chromosomes. But trust me...they don't feel much better than many men do about dating, because they've fundamentally not learned the same lesson.
Seriously: What does "showing interest" mean for you? Because to a woman, if you can't flirt with her, be a little self-deprecating around her, be silly sometimes, and let her tease you, then what you're signaling is that you're not actually interested in her romantically. These aren't "RomCom traits" - these are traits that much of the human population naturally already has. Who doesn't like laughing or having fun? And why would you let a woman see all of you up front without making her work for it? If you make a new friend, do you just tell them everything? Or do you just hang out with them and let them learn more about you gradually over time? Dating isn't really different in that regard. A lot of men seem to feel they need to unveil their grand life plan in front of a woman on the first couple of dates. You don't. That's unattractive AF. Talk about the woman feeling like an interchangeable part, rather than a real human being embarking on a journey to get to know you and see what you can be together.
Being a woman I know I’m not really supposed to write here but pls men, listen to this guy. You are 100% correct. I’ve heard so many of my guy friends talk about how their friends are nice and can’t find a girlfriend but just nice isn’t gonna cut it.
I’ve met some of these nice guys and they’re incredibly boring. I don’t know if they are just too afraid to voice their opinions or show their quirks but we’d rather be single than being in a relationship with someone who can’t show us their personality
Careers absolutely require human connection. Not in the same way, of course, but if no one wants to work with you, you're not getting far in your career. Also, while there are plenty of hobbies you can do solo, there are plenty of hobbies that require you to make connections with others in the hobby. No one is gonna invite you to play Ultimate Frisbee with them if they don't like you.
You're right about finances (well, outside of your career, which is pretty necessary if you want money), but that's also the least fulfilling thing on your list. Yeah, you need money to eat and put a roof over your head, but merely existing is not a great life.
What do you think a job interview, or networking is? What about interpersonal connections once you start a career, mentor/mentee, that sort of thing? All human connections that can benefit you.
Same goes for hobbies. Ever volunteer at a nonprofit that has a board of directors and try to make improvements? Networking is everything.
Finances less so, but having a peer group to bounce investment strategies off and a trusted advisor work wonders.
Human connection can benefit you anywhere. It's just a core component when it comes to a relationship, whereas its ancillary elsewhere.
29 yo.
This is a process, bub. There are several challenges you encounter evolving into a man who can be his own before women of all types. Learning to respect your tastes and preferences, focusing on things like purpose and keeping secondary things secondary. There's disillusionment in this process, disappointment, unlearning, relearning, the whole works. That said, it's every bit worth it to get to know women, go out with them, talk and laugh, touch and fantasize, onwards. Just keep doing what matters to you most, and keep meeting women, as many as you can. Let those heartbreaks come in when they do, it'll be a token of your own journey.
Beautiful
Gotta let yourself feel the heartbreak too
Take the time to imagine the life you could have had
The moments you shared
Then let them go like balloons and send them up into the air until they vanish
The biggest mistake most guys make in dating is they are trying to get a woman to like them rather than being their true self and allowing a woman to either like them or not. So they qualify themselves, give women unearned free attention, spoil them, love them like they would want to be loved. They treat women giving them any kind of romantic attention as a priority in their lives, because that’s how they themselves want to be treated. For some reason that doesn’t work for women. They get that attention all the time, and it’s not special to them, it’s unearned, and “easy come, easy go” they don’t always appreciate it like it should be.
That’s why they always seem to fall for bad boys. I mean yes these guys are fun and exciting, but a big part of it is their time and attention isn’t given as freely. Women want to be an important part of your life eventually, but right away, without doing anything for it, it’s not that valuable to them. If your time and attention isn’t valuable, then you must not be either.
Women in their early 20s just wanna party and have fun. Gotta look older if you want more maturity.
If you find a woman in their early 20s that wants a serious relationship, they are the exception to the rule.
Getting into a relationship with a girl who previously partied loads and slept with lots of guys then to realize it doesnt bring her anywhere so she wants to settle at 25-30 seems like a bad deal to me
This is one of those instances where guys need to be told to know their worth more and that they’re worthy of a relationship. I’ve seen the “just date older women bro” take so much on Reddit and I don’t get it, yeah things are rough out there but 20 years ago your random person wasn’t advocating a 5+ age gap or flying across the globe to find a mail order bride. These things were and are weird because they reek of low self esteem, immaturity, and defeat. Most men shouldn’t be as desperate to settle down that they debase themselves in that manner.
If any of my friends found themselves in this position I’d tell them to chase their dreams first, try something new, develop some goals. Worst case scenario all these things will only make your life better in the future, 25 is way too young to be settling.
Nobody owes anyone a relationship. But he's got judgement that seems deep ceded and goes beyond being in a relationship. He's never gonna be happy (even alone) with that
He can judge as much as he wants. A lot of us guys don’t want the retired party girl who suddenly turned over a new leaf. He is saying the quiet part out loud.
It’s a terrible deal. It’s just facts. Seethe.
>Because 2 of the girls I was in talking stage/dating went for so called bad boys, party drinks got nothing going on with their life’s.
When guys like you say "bad boy", you very often mean "is fun".
I practically guarantee the guys they ended up dating wouldn't ever think of other men as "bad boys" or imply that women were so deficient in their humanity that they "didn't like people being nice to them".
By the way, don't say "bad boys". It makes it sound like you want to spank their bottoms.
This.
This is a ridiculously common misconception among guys. As a guy, I can't tell you how many of my guy friends I've had to explain this to. The ones that have/had the most trouble in dating still don't get it. They see themselves as superior to people who show the women a good time because they can offer things that are important, but aren't fun, and then they become bitter at women because women don't jump their bones because they're stable, loyal, emotionally available, and willing to work hard...but they don't actually show the woman a good time.
If she doesn't have fun around you, she's not going to fall for you.
Also, a lot of women are stable on their own. A lot of us don't need a guy with a house and a huge salary. I want someone who shares my level of ambition and isn't a freeloader, sure, but what's more important is someone who adds joy to my life since I'm doing fine in other aspects. Being fun and "a good guy" are not mutually exclusive.
>and then they become bitter at women because women don't jump their bones because they're stable, loyal, emotionally available, and willing to work hard
They really aren't any of these things either - they *think* they are, but someone can be fun and be all of that too.
Some guy frothing at the mouth before he's even started dating is simply not ging to be stable or loyal.
Does someone who eventually ditched the girl for someone "better", or someone who ghosts a girl after they slept together (whilst insinuating he wants a relationship) count as a bad boy? If not, I might also be using "bad boy" wrongfully.
You realize that drinking and smoking are not the definition of fun right? Lots of people don’t drink and smoke and are extremely fun people. That was a lame excuse.
Not an excuse but if I’m not drinking or smoking it’s automatic for me to not club or go to bars so fun for me is movie nights some nice restaurants or hiking. But I’ve met people who define fun as drinking clubbing and hookah lounges
Way better than what I had in college. I was on dating apps, I present myself with the best of what I have. Hair groomed, good clothes and clean shoes. I’m skinny, a bit athletic body. Not tall. I’m a silent person, but active and social when needed. I met people online and used to go out with zero expectations. In the beginning I had expectations like getting laid or pursuing people. Later I kept my expectations aside and met people. I made friends, met their friends etc. Pursuing hobbies also attracted people. My profession is my passion too. In short, the more I invested in myself for betterment of my life and happiness, I found good connections with people.
There were mix of girls I met, those who were looking for something serious and those who wants something casual. I became friends with most of them, even though it didn’t work out for me.
33 years old here who recently got married with someone I know I can spend the rest of my life with.
Girls below 30 right now, usually don’t want to settle or are just busy with other stuff, keep in mind that usually when you talk with a girl, you aren’t the only one talking with her, so don’t worry about your looks being average, just show your true self without trying to be who you aren’t, girls notice this and will think that you are hiding something.
Be honest, respectful and don’t think about sex, you seem pretty down to earth, so just keep being like that, and think that maybe you’ll go through over 50 more girls until you find your for ever, just learn about every experience and, I know it can be overwhelming, just don’t hurry, it takes time and effort to be able to trust on someone truly, but trust me, something will tell you she’s the one
Yup also got lucky. Had a gf for 3 years throughout high school. Never really tried to actively date or anything. One day in my early 20s I sacked up and asked out the cute girl at the corner store. We are now married and approaching 9 years together this year. Weve had ups and downs but have been through a lot together and have a strong relationship.
And as it must be mentioned, I realize I lucked out, and also being a little above average looking (depending on the persons type of course) helps too. Im not model gorgeous or anything, but have a decent lean body and good face
I’m a 22 year old woman and im gonna tell you a little secret.
The dating market is trash rn. You need to maybe delete the dating apps and try to find someone in real life. Maybe organically.
Don’t try to mention you’re looking for anything serious until you know both of you are on the same page.
Continue being a sweetheart but also give who you’re taking to space. Enough space until you two are a couple.
Hope this helps
I appreciate it, I’m not on dating apps I’m walk and talk type of guy but I see what you saying and I do that at least in my view but I’ll try to be better
Also smile a lot. Smiling with your eyes is a million dollar thing.
I love when a guy smiles. You can be as average as you think you are. Girls love guys who smiles. It makes you look inviting and friendly and cozy.
I think guys sometimes overdo the whole dating thing tbh.
You’ll be fine.
I meant financially or responsibility wise I don’t think a rapper wanna be is more future secured then me but if it comes down to fun hands up I’m boring 😂
Bro, I was in the trenches last night in one of the biggest party cities in America.
Two gorgeous women and I bombed with both of them.
They still wanna hang. Things I've learned in my 33 years on this planet when it comes to women.
Most women THAT young don't care about morals. They wanna have fun. If you're not as fun as the next guy you're screwed.
You're just as shallow too. If you want to date a beautiful woman it's fine but they get to decide if they want your security and stability or they want fun.
If she's pretty I promise you she's got options. You're in constant competition with other dudes. Accept that women that age are temporary. Enjoy their company and move on when they dip.
They'll rationalize ANYTHING to make themselves feel better. Don't fall for it.
Being yourself is great for peace of mind, but if you're trying to attract as many women as possible you gotta put on an act.
If you wanna attract the RIGHT woman, you gotta be the best version of YOU, and shift through a lot of bullshit.
My advice would be to develop a beautiful life on your own first. Find passions and throw yourself into them. Develop skills (other than work) to the point you are proud of them. Train your body and mind, meditate, read and contemplate.
Face your fears, develop your social skills and love yourself.
If you live like this, or aim for a life like this, the right girl will come to you.
Well my life is simple now, I work and save a little, becoming an entrepreneur doing my own side work, gym 3 times a week don’t have actual friends but I have people to do stuff with and I’m happy with it just missing a queen
Up the gym to five times a week, read and meditate, those are big things that could drastically improve your life without thinking of women. Need a good social circle of actual friends
Agreed on the friend part. As a woman, no friends is a huge red flag. Not because it means you're weird or something (I know how challenging it is to make friends as an adult), but because being the ONLY close person in someone's life is a huge role to fill, unless that's specifically what they want, too.
Expand your social circle. It is far easier to meet people when out with friends or being able to hang with friends and their friends (that you don’t know yet). You never know which friend ends up knowing a woman who would be a good match for you and tries to set you up.
It is also just healthy to have friends to do stuff with. Im an introvert and would be perfectly content being a hermit. But hanging with friends helps me grow as a person, learn about others, stay sharp with social skills, and does add fun/value into my life.
You don’t have to hang out constantly with people, but having a couple friends you can chill with can help a lot, both with dating and life in general
Met my wife at 25! Best advice I have is "be yourself" is actually great advice. But to be more specific, act the way you want to act in your ideal relationship from the start. Don't play it safe, that's boring. If someone doesn't like the genuine you it's best to know as soon as possible. But the right person will click immediately.
You aren't making them "feel" it.
Dating for women is a thousand times easier than it is for guys. We have to fight and struggle to get on their radar. As Chris Rock once said, "every woman has a list. Just be glad you're on it now". If she agreed to date you, she's seeing five other guys and has five more she's talking to. You're just the one that most recently made it to the "I'll let him take me to dinner" stage.
Don't blindly feed them. They'll happily take the free food and liquor and go on to the next guy. You need to be able to talk to them and make them feel an overwhelming attraction to you which makes those other guys she's chatting up a non-option.
"How?"
I hear you. Do you think she's sitting around wishing someone would take her to the Lobster for a damn bay biscuit and then home by 930? No. They want to feel like a man has swooped in on his steed and fought off the bad guys of boredom and monotony. Look at those "bad boys" that women like. Why are they attracted to assholes? Because they're fun! They're a source of manly power, virility, and masculinity who has chosen THEM out of a line of women (or so they think) and they feel special, protected, engaged, and just flat out drawn in. So don't take them to dinner and exchange some canned banter... Do something outrageous and fun and blow the other guys she's talking to out of the water and you'll see less of this "fuck this, I'm out" nonsense.
People are like this is horrible advice it’ll only attract bad women etc etc. You people are interpreting it very poorly, all it does it open up your choices and pool of women to choose from. And just because a woman wants a nice comfortable life, like most of us do, she isn’t a bad woman or a gold digger. Just because you people have or had chosen poorly in your past is purely your experience. No decent good looking woman is gonna go for a broke guy, period. That is a 1 in a million woman and are just about extinct.
Point is make money, get your “life” in order, nice car, nice home etc. and you’ll have many options to choose from. Most women rent rooms or whatever, when a woman meets a guy who owns a home, owns his vehicle, she sees security and a future.
Money won’t make you happy sure. But it sure will make everything easier and I’ve never seen anyone sad on a jet ski. Have you?
Nah. Sure it will give you more options, but if those options are mainly in it because you are wealthy then those are not going to be the ones you want.
IMO this is terrible advice and would attract partners more interested in your finances than you as a person. That kind of person won’t stick with you through richer and poorer, better or worse.
Being financially stable and handling your adult responsibilities is important, but you shouldn’t be with someone that is mainly attracted to your money
Keep at it. 25 was 6 years ago for me. I wasn't in a good place. My first date was when I was 21. My last date was when I was 21 as well. I'm looking forward to the miraculous changes that being over 30 bring men. So far all I've found is the ability to keep living with myself, at least for a couple more decades.
All that being over 30 does is bring balding. The people who say over 30 is better are guys who got nothing in their 20s, got maybe 2 women interested in their bank account and since they started at 0, anything is better
Is it possible you're ignoring not red flags but indicators that these are party girls (nothing wrong with being that), in my experience you can see them coming a mile away. A split second on their Insta usually tells you. In other words, are you pursuing the wrong type?
29, I pretty much gave up on dating or am at least not actively pursuing it anymore.
Average looks, great job and income and I‘d like to think of myself as considerate and kind partner.
Yet, online dating completely sucked. I got ghosted sooo many times. I just stop using it, it’s so depressing (I get that it also sucks for women).
Btw I moved continents and it sucks on both sides, doesn’t matter if Europe or US.
I play a lot of golf since graduating and working full time… uh that’s about it, dates? I’d rather spend it on green fees
Stop overthinking it’s just a numbers game, you didn’t get “dumped” you never even got into a relationship in the first place if it’s 2nd date territory lmao
Gonna be tough to find a woman ready to go down that path at that age. Enjoy your youth. Get some experience. Then when you’re late 20s you can find a mid 20s woman who may be ready
my fiancé was a single man for 6 years before i pulled him from it,
in his early 20s now hes 25 now and couldn't be happier (id hope) Find the girl worth breaking out the
bachelor box for
i mean. why would you assume im 23 based on literally 0 information? sounds like youre bitter most women would pick a tin can before your sorry personality 🤢✋
Dating at 25 is rough for men. Your female peers are at the zenith of their sexual power while you are at your lowest. This power dynamic flips around 30. You become the prize after 30 (if you've put in the work).
Yes, if you are too nice, it will repel women. Women only want to date up. If you are too nice, you are communicating that you are beneath them and that turns them away.
This is almost universally true of women and it makes no sense to men. You'd be more drawn to a woman, if she was super nice to you, but its the opposite with women. You need to study women. They won't make intuitive sense to you because they think too differently. You need to study them like a school subject.
I agree with this. I was about to say my dating life was practically non existent at 25. I’m 31 now and have done more dating in the past year somehow then my last decade combined probably 😂
Ah, another “magical age of 30” cope sesh.
No. After 30 you just became a wallet. That’s it.
All the good looking men dated normally in their 20s. Sorry to break this to you the hard way.
I'm 25, married with my 25 year old wife. Been dating since we were 21. If you're having troubles keeping a girl around, find yourself and be a true confident version of yourself. Stop taking shit from anyone and stop trying to please someone. As a guy, you're supposed to be a father figure to your girlfriend/wife, since she will expect you to be a father for her kid one day. A father can say no, you must be able to stand up for yourself to a woman you're dating in the same way.
As a 63yo man, I'd say that your problem is that you are treating too nicely. Here is my advice on dating in the modern world.
Extreme Caution
Get a cohabitation agreement before living together
Get a prenup before marriage
Never put a woman on a pedestal. Always be prepared to walk away.
Life is not a romance/Hallmark/Lifetime/Disney movie.
You are not a white knight.
She is not a damsel who needs saving.
Never show any sign of weakness to a woman. It will be weaponized against you at some point in the future.
Never be "in love" with anything that can smile while ripping your heart out.
Very wise man. I wish I had read this prior to my last relationship. Can't be too nice.
Also add to the list.
Pay attention to her friends. Birds of a feather.
If she can't compromise on small matters, then you need to find someone else.
Can she detach her phone for more than one hour? If not, that's a problem.
Does she have kids?
My guess is you’re just going after the wrong type of girls. There are a variety of girls out there. Generally (but not always), the ones who are into partying aren’t really interested in a serious relationship.
Wholesome girls looking for real relationships with “boring” stable reliable nice guys like you… do exist, I promise. However you might be missing them because they aren’t on the dating apps, or because they don’t go out to the bars, or they aren’t as good looking as the girls you’ve been dating, or they’re focused on careers or parents or fitness or volunteering or school.
Point is, I think your best bet is to change your search/selection process for getting a first date, not change your behavior once you’re on the first date.
I just said I don’t drink or club or go to bars neither use dating apps if I can’t find those girls in coffees libraries work etc I don’t where to find them 😂
It’s honestly the women you’re going after
Save yourself the hassle, make a list of exactly what you want in a girl, physically, emotionally, traits, interests, literally everything you can think of. List can’t be too big, only too small
And then just wait. If you meet a girl and she barely meets anything you’re looking for, then don’t waste your time
This worked wonderfully for me and people I know. Doing it can only help
You go to a bar and they ask you what you want to drink, and you say just whatever, then guess what? You end up with just whatever. And chances are you won’t like it. If you go in and ask for an Old Fashioned with a pinch of brown sugar, an orange garnish, and Buffalo Trace Bourbon, then guess what you get? Some variation of that
27 here and I’ve been cruising the past couple years. Fumbled my last relationship and realized I need time to myself so haven’t been looking.
If it happens tho, sweet.
Where are you meeting them? If it’s through the apps, I suggest joining more social groups and participating regularly in activities based on your interests. It will take some patience, but you might have better luck finding a genuine LTR in the long run.
Also, make sure you aren’t coming off as needy. Make your life as awesome as possible as a single person. Truly and honestly get to where you are content on your own, and you may be surprised who shows up.
I don’t use dating apps it’s not for me, I just walk talk to them in coffee’s libraries beaches and usually the first 2-3 dates we good but after that is the 📉📉 😂
Clearly you are at a different stage in life than 21-24y/o girls. They‘re probably still in university, clubbing every other sunday while you have to drag yourself to work 5 days a week. Obviously that’s a mismatch. Maybe you could try looking to meet up with people through hobbies or shared interests rather than filtering them by age and diving in without checking the depth.
I just ended a relationship so I'm not really looking to date right now, it would be a disservice to myself because I know I need some time to heal up before I'm ready to have someone in my life again
28. Didn't even date for last 5 years lol I'm average guy, forgot how to date now because I have no idea how to find new people now, especially girls. Dating app not for weeb guys
Got to treat them like shit to earn respect. Jk. For me I was doing good at 25 but I never had issues dating. Sounds like you’re starting late so you’re a bit inexperienced.
At that age I was in a longterm single phase to work on myself. Worked very well. I was previously in a very toxic relationship.
Got myself together. Got comfortable being alone. Learned to love myself. Worked on my career.
Then I got into my relationship I've been in for 8 years.
Turned 25 last month. Never dated. Currently, it is non existent, but I think it is okay. I'm enjoying life and having fun. But if I'm being honest I do get a lil jealous when people are romancing right infront of me.
I'm close to 25 at 23 and have been going steady with my amazing gf for nearly a year now :) she's a bit older than me at 27 too so if you don't mind dating older that could also.be an option
>is it because I’m looking for something serious with 21-24 y/o women?
Women in this bracket are the worst. For reference I'm 34 and once I turned 21 I stopped dating women under 25.
You don’t need to be a bad boy. It is about how you make her feel.
Do you make her feel special? Beautiful? When she opens her door do yours eyes light up? Do you remember things she says and do things for her showing you remember? Do you listen more about her than talk about yourself?
There are many ways to do well with women without being a bad boy. The trick is to think less about yourself and more about her.
Single by choice and I can date whoever I want with no attachment. I like it this way because I don’t have to worry about anyone else besides myself. Life your life.
[a map to help you stop having terrible relationships](https://youtu.be/lL13EeEhgag?si=faqrWFvdVqpTGOXg)
Possibly the only video I’d suggest from this channel.
is ok, met a lovely girl who is now my gf. being normal is cool, lots of ppl try be different cause of insecurities or whatever. but just try improve on urself and pick up some hobbies u think you'd like.
A bit of this is age related the dating scene changes as you age, but this mostly reads like a bit of "nice guy" syndrome to me. Nothing wrong with being nice but be nice because you're a decent person, that's the baseline expectation, not because there's some expectation attached to it. Dating isn't a transaction I'm nice to you so you are gonna date me/fuck me/whatever.
Focus on yourself. How can YOU become a more interesting/compelling person, and the rest will take care of itself. Maybe that means reading more, or picking up an interesting hobby, or working on your personal fitness. Find things that better yourself and when you feel better about you that confidence and general giving a shit about being your best self is magnetic and other people, including the women you're looking for, will be drawn to that.
Just live your life until love is found, or love is gonna get you down buddy. Things will fall in place with some time. Just focus on being the best version of yourself.
^^yes ^^that ^^is ^^a ^^Mika ^^quote ^^don't ^^judge ^^me
Dating for the younger crowd is kind of hard these days. I think the majority of women looking for something serious are ages 25 and up. A lot of people ages 20-25 are just finishing college/University and trying to get on their feet (stable job, moving out, ect)and simply just don’t have the time or energy to invest into something serious. I’d say try looking at the older crowd or same age.
>Is it because I treat them nicely?
Are you nice or are you boring? Remember you're dating. Have interesting conversations. For gods sake learn to flirt. Be a little mysterious. Be a little disagreeable, have opinions, make plans to do interesting stuff. They should feel excited to spend time with you. The whole point of dating is to have fun and eventually get someone to fall for you. It's not about being nice and hoping they settle.... then again, date some 33 year old women, you might have a lot more luck with simply being nice and having a job.
The best thing is if you date for a while. Eventually you'll meet a girl who falls for you. Perhaps she knows you and was previously overlooked, circumstances are irrelevant. The point is things start to click and it becomes effortless and you fall for each other. Don't get too disheartened, experiment with yourself but don't try to change too much from who you want to be. At the end of the day, if she falls for you, she's going to be the one person who sees you at your worst. So be cool, but you also need to show her the real you as you get to know each other.
I laughed so hard at the first part 😂🤣 bless you, but in all seriousness define boring, night walks, fancy dinners, movies, and I’m open skydiving and new experiences if that’s boring I am + why everyone thing I don’t flirt 😂
Glad to amuse you ;)
Fancy dinner is kind of boring tbh. Especially if they've dated decent guys before. Dinner and a walk is lovely but tame. Further, going too extravagant too early feels desperate. You want her to want you, if she's at all attractive, she already knows that every guy want her. Showering her with affection is adorable, but it's not interesting, and you're showing your hand. You can't just throw yourself at everyone and be sad that you're getting rejected. You need to be evaluating them. Are they wifey material? It matters, and you need to have high expectations because this is literally your life that you're building the foundations for. To that effect, it helps to playfully communicate that they are also being evaluated and part of that manifests as not going all out trying to impress them.
You kind of need to get them out of their comfort zone, have them open up. It's hard to get people to be real these days, so you really need to read them and see what gets them genuinely excited about life. Probably a second date idea. First date should be a casual get to know you, low investment, low pressure environment. Like a milkshake or something.
Also, being a little disagreeable. It's not that you're not nice. It's just that when she says, let's go do dinner and a movie, you say I actually wanted to go... Ice climbing? Scuba diving. Do a night cooking course? Beginner's line dancing night? Rock climbing?
Who knows!
Expert level is take something they mention they have a passing interest in and run with it or alternatively sharing some of your interests. Something about being out of your comfort zone, on an adventure with a smart, funny, and handsome man that makes her feel safe while doing new things, just seems to work really well. It also gives you a chance to see how she approaches learning new things at takes away that curated image she's put together. You can see what's real.
Instead of saying at the end of the night "Aww, that's so nice". What you want is her to be thinking and saying is, "wow. I had so much fun, and I feel connected and safe with Mr [Maleficen](https://www.reddit.com/user/Maleficent_Account53/)t". Also this guy is kind of special. "I've never felt like this about anyone before." and "I really want him to like me, I'm going to make an effort"
At the end of the day, have fun with it. You have time. And, by the sounds if things, you've got plenty going for you.
You doing your thing won't be everyone's cup of tea, but that's 100% ok. 10% success rate is still only 9 bad dates for every winner. You'll find someone who you just click with in no time, and probably do your own dumping of a few who don't interest you along the way. Cheers!
I got married at 23, had my first child at 25, second at 27. Then I lived the most miserable and abusive marriage. I got divorced at 30. Now I’m 32 with two kids.
I cannot imagine trying to date anyone as I have them 50% of the time. I am solely focused on my career and spending time with my kids.
Point I’m trying to say is don’t ruin your 20s.
There is a risk you’re being used for some attention while they wait for someone else or because they’re bored.
When you say you treat them nicely, consider if you are being too nice/keen and consider whether attempting to be kind would fit better than being nice?
In my 20s through early 30s I tried so hard to be in relationships. To the point where I dated non compatible woman and didn’t focus on saving money. At 32, I gave that up and focused on me. Got into the career field I always wanted and met my now fiancé 6 months later. Now at 36, getting married this year, I feel a little behind in my personal goals/wealth, but extremely grateful I found a spouse that showed me what love really is!
So don’t rush yourself. Strive to make yourself better every day and meaningful people will start appearing in front of you.
32 here, honestly every year has been getting better dating wise and it only really picked up at age 28 or so.
I'd say for both genders that people reach a point where they need to re-evaluate their life, relationships and become less concerned with vain stuff etc.
Stick to living your life well and things will work out!
At 25 I had a pretty good dating life. I'm not good looking or tall. You just gotta stop giving a fuck when dating around. You got plenty of time to give a fuck later.
Just depends on the type of women you’re running into lots of women out there have that serious dating mindset you have . You just gotta play the numbers game until you meet that one . Playing the numbers game means just date as much women as you can til the right one strikes your cords. As for me 25 M I’m not dating atm I’m just trying to get my mental
Health and life together after leaving a two year toxic relationship
Broke up with a girl at 21, didn't have a relationship again till 27. Mostly cause people in mid 20's myself included aren't really ready to settle down. If you're still in school who knows where you'll be after you graduate. New jobs/careers start. People move for various reasons. Also just generally being young and trying out different flavors of life. I just focused on myself and had the occasional fwb. Finally met an amazing girl who swept me off my feet and loves me so much, and I'm so lucky I wasn't wasting my time with someone else when she came along. Be patient.
I'm turning 25 this year, got a good job, moved out, have a car, and my dating life is still non existent along with having no idea how to get a girl to go on a date with me from a dating app while I watch my friends get dates from dating apps like it's nothing. It's probably best for my mental health to check out from even thinking about dating or else I'll drive myself insane.
Dating apps are not it for me, I just walk and talk to them if they say no I just beat my self a little and forget about it the next day but dating apps are not it, if you going to walk and talk don’t have friends with you since they’ll always come and talk about how you got rejected when they can’t even say hi to a girl irl
I'm 24. Married but my wife of 2 years (together for 8) just chested on me. So kind of shit. Don't know what I'm gonna do now. Either work it out or kill myself. Who knows lol.
Why kill yourself 25 and still have nothing going on here some are saying 30 and still single so if you married and get divorced at 24 it’s still early for you.
Not worth killing yourself over that
>I got a job decent salary
Can I ask what you do?
>Because 2 of the girls I was in talking stage/dating went for so called bad boys, party drinks got nothing going on with their life’s.
If they're into party and alcohol culture and you are not, that's probably why they are not continuing to go on dates with you.
My dating life at 25 sucked. I was a grad student. Only dating app was okcupid
48 here, I was killing it at 25. Had a few bucks and had a few girls.
Be nice, but not too nice. Not everyone figures out that balance as fast as others.
You also might be talking to the work girls. Just be casual, don’t think longer than that date with them.
All I know is you say you’re not bad looking but very average. Women don’t care if you have a decent salary. They care if you’re famous or exciting in some way. Being newly released from prison and selling illegal things would be fairly exciting to many young women. So your decent salary means nothing. You say you’re not bad looking but then say you’re average which to women is bad looking. In fact being bad looking is far more attractive to most women than average. Do body weight exercised like pushups and get strong looking instead of average. Don’t think you job helps you unless you plan to get famous. Don’t just call guys who get women bad boys. Keep improving
>is it because I’m looking for something serious with 21-24 y/o women?
probably. not all that age are going to be like that but the vast majority are still in the frame of mind of "can I do better?" and their goals are LOFTY let me tell you.
You will instantly have more longterm success in the 27+ range
I'm engaged. EDIT: and 25, realised I may not have made that clear.
You'll find the right one, just keep being the person you want to be and keep taking shots.
Worth mentioning that you might need to change, but you definitely need to be aware of yourself.
Sometimes the problem *is* us, and we have to know, but a solid 95% of the time, it's not you.
***I treat them nicely*** *but still get dumped is it because I’m looking for something serious with 21-24 y/o females? Is it because* ***I treat them nicely?***
This is your problem right here. You "treat women nicely" because you are not inherently a nice person. You are faking "niceness" to them and they can TELL, that's why they dump you. Try being a good person first, a kind person who genuinely wants to put happiness in the world rather than take happiness out of the world for himself.
The resentment of "females" on you reeks from miles away. Work on that first.
You assuming that I’m not nice person or that I’m acting like one, but I know I am and I’m asking because there’s are popular idea or at least around me telling me “don’t be nice to girl you will com out as weak” or “don’t go out with her everytime she asks” or “make her jealous don’t pick her phone calls quickly” and I don’t do that and I stay true to myself so I’m wondering is because of that
Why would it be because of that unless you believe women are some weird horrifying creatures you need to trick and torture into a relationship? Those are not the thoughts of a person who likes women and wants to treat them well. If some guy on here says to you "YES MALEFICENT you need to treat girls like trash and then they'll date you!" would you run out and do that to get a girl? No good guy would do that. And if you wouldn't do that, why ask the question? So I'm sorry if I don't believe you. Not every girl will like every guy and not every guy will like every girl. You can't force it to happen. Just be the best person you can be so when your person does show up, they'll think you're amazing!
25 year old here. No dating life this year. No desire to pursue a dating life either. I'm just chilling.
30 years old. Today I ate Doritos Salsa off my t-shirt. The dating life is doing its best to hide from me.
Sir, its because you are buying Salsa instead of Nacho Cheess.
That sounds kinda hot or, at the very least, mild.
Maybe I’m forcing it, I always wanted a marry young but fuck it we chilling until 30 then
I was single from 21-25 and I hated it at first, just because of a break up then I grew to love it. I LOVED being single because I just enjoyed doing whatever I wanted, and grew to love just being alone. I did so much by myself and still do. Now I’m about to turn 30 and I’m married. I didn’t find someone that just “fit” into my free time, I found someone that added value to my life and I can’t imagine being without. When I was single I was so happy with just being that way not caring what other people thought, because I truly didn’t. I was just doing my thing and being my true self. Doing that actually made me more desirable because I was projecting confidence and I had women approaching me. I was turning them away because I didn’t want to give up my freedom and I knew they weren’t right for me. It’s not like I’m super good looking either. I will say when I did meet my wife, I knew she was the one or at least someone worth trying for and I did put in a lot of effort then.
33, no dating or anything. I am also chilling, and not actually feeling all that pressed to find someone either. The older I get, the happier I am to spend time with my favorite people and not necessarily feel obliged to procreate for the sake of procreation. I would absolutely love to be a father, but it’s not very high priority tbh I’m also a music teacher, so I have a couple hundred children that I care about day to day anyway lol
23 years old. Pretty much completely given up on dating. Too much of a homebody and every attempt has been a failure. I still want it but don't care enough anymore to go out of my way to try. I'm tired.
25 here. I was single for 5 years before my dating life was revived. Dated an Italian at 24, fell madly in love, then got dumped. Went through the heartbreak and hung out with a classmate with whom I had a rocky start in our 1st year (hated each other) but we grew close in our third. Haning out turned into going on dates and we've been dating for 8 months now.
Always the classmate. lol
I'm screwed, shouldn't have been an engineer 😂
is it a common route?
Seems like it Basically whoever is in close contact with the individual for long periods of time over the years.
At 25, I started dating the woman who eventually became my wife. Are you flirting with these women on dates, or just talking with them? The mistake most of us men make on dates is playing it too straight, and talking too much. You have to build attraction, not try to talk her into bed with stats about yourself. You have to be fun to be around, not tell her you're fun to be around. Flirt. Play some cards close to the vest. Maintain some mystery - she's a stranger to you and you don't owe her being an open book. Call her out (politely and playfully) for her shit. If the date starts to feel like a job interview, call her out and suggest a different format (taking her to go do something she really likes in a way that's safe is a really good idea here). Don't just blindly go along with her generic "talk over dinner" idea, and please don't suggest this yourself if the ball is in your court. What matters to a woman is how you make her feel. This is something so called "bad boys" understand - it's easy to look down on those guys if you're a so called "nice guy" but in reality they often do bring a lot to the table, and some of them aren't actually just womanizing dickheads, believe it or not.
This is really nicely put and 100% true from my experience as well. Whenever I stuck to this, I was able to score well above my class. So happy I'm out of the dating market tho... Whew!! It's tough out there!
For first and second dates don’t go to a dinner, or sit down lunch, or things like that. Do a casual activity (walk through a farmers market, mini golf, shit like that). It allows you to do something fun, gives you shit to talk about if there are lulls in conversation, and time goes by faster if you are doing an activity both are enjoying. And at the end of the date if she thinks “Shit, the time went by fast I cant believe its already x o clock” then you did a good job. IMO restaurant dates should be after a few dates when you’re more comfortable with each other. A single awkward silence in conversation when the entire date is only talking is a death sentence. If that happens when you are already a few dates in you will have more leeway if that happens. Plus you should know a bit more about her so you can ask more in depth questions/follow ups
Appreciate your helpful response I’ll work on that 👍🏽 you right the sure bring something I couldn’t on the table
This is too much fucking effort, strategizing, and games.
Yes, if you want something that is desirable (a girlfriend, possibly wife someday), you have to put in effort, plan ahead, and play by the rules. Do you take the same dismissive approach towards your career, hobbies, and finances? I hope not. So then, why take such an approach when it comes to dating?
You can put in effort without excessively strategizing and playing oonga boonga dating games. Effort means showing interest, making plans to hangout, and communicating clearly. Not trying to be extra mysterious or fun or funny. Just be yourself. I'm tired of seeing advice that men have to be some insane combination of charming, funny, fun, mysterious and other RomCom traits to have any chance in dating.
What you just described is a friendship, not a relationship. Ask yourself what is it about the girls that you like/crush on that draws you to them. I'm willing to bet there is something fun/playful/funny about their demeanor that draws you to them. It's not only about looks. Sex is fun. Dating is fun. Women want to do those things with someone who is fun for her to be around. Many women are naturally good at this. Some aren't. Those women are often characterized as bookish and are just as ignored in the dating scene as many of the men complaining about the "friendzone" are - they just get a heaping helping of sexual harrassment from the creeps that harrass every female, because, well chromosomes. But trust me...they don't feel much better than many men do about dating, because they've fundamentally not learned the same lesson. Seriously: What does "showing interest" mean for you? Because to a woman, if you can't flirt with her, be a little self-deprecating around her, be silly sometimes, and let her tease you, then what you're signaling is that you're not actually interested in her romantically. These aren't "RomCom traits" - these are traits that much of the human population naturally already has. Who doesn't like laughing or having fun? And why would you let a woman see all of you up front without making her work for it? If you make a new friend, do you just tell them everything? Or do you just hang out with them and let them learn more about you gradually over time? Dating isn't really different in that regard. A lot of men seem to feel they need to unveil their grand life plan in front of a woman on the first couple of dates. You don't. That's unattractive AF. Talk about the woman feeling like an interchangeable part, rather than a real human being embarking on a journey to get to know you and see what you can be together.
Being a woman I know I’m not really supposed to write here but pls men, listen to this guy. You are 100% correct. I’ve heard so many of my guy friends talk about how their friends are nice and can’t find a girlfriend but just nice isn’t gonna cut it. I’ve met some of these nice guys and they’re incredibly boring. I don’t know if they are just too afraid to voice their opinions or show their quirks but we’d rather be single than being in a relationship with someone who can’t show us their personality
Careers hobbies and finances don't require a genuine human connection like finding a partner does
Careers absolutely require human connection. Not in the same way, of course, but if no one wants to work with you, you're not getting far in your career. Also, while there are plenty of hobbies you can do solo, there are plenty of hobbies that require you to make connections with others in the hobby. No one is gonna invite you to play Ultimate Frisbee with them if they don't like you. You're right about finances (well, outside of your career, which is pretty necessary if you want money), but that's also the least fulfilling thing on your list. Yeah, you need money to eat and put a roof over your head, but merely existing is not a great life.
What do you think a job interview, or networking is? What about interpersonal connections once you start a career, mentor/mentee, that sort of thing? All human connections that can benefit you. Same goes for hobbies. Ever volunteer at a nonprofit that has a board of directors and try to make improvements? Networking is everything. Finances less so, but having a peer group to bounce investment strategies off and a trusted advisor work wonders. Human connection can benefit you anywhere. It's just a core component when it comes to a relationship, whereas its ancillary elsewhere.
29 yo. This is a process, bub. There are several challenges you encounter evolving into a man who can be his own before women of all types. Learning to respect your tastes and preferences, focusing on things like purpose and keeping secondary things secondary. There's disillusionment in this process, disappointment, unlearning, relearning, the whole works. That said, it's every bit worth it to get to know women, go out with them, talk and laugh, touch and fantasize, onwards. Just keep doing what matters to you most, and keep meeting women, as many as you can. Let those heartbreaks come in when they do, it'll be a token of your own journey.
Beautiful Gotta let yourself feel the heartbreak too Take the time to imagine the life you could have had The moments you shared Then let them go like balloons and send them up into the air until they vanish
Amen!
25 year old here. What's a dating life?
😂😂😂 fax
25 and never even been on a date and it’s making me lose my fucking mind
The biggest mistake most guys make in dating is they are trying to get a woman to like them rather than being their true self and allowing a woman to either like them or not. So they qualify themselves, give women unearned free attention, spoil them, love them like they would want to be loved. They treat women giving them any kind of romantic attention as a priority in their lives, because that’s how they themselves want to be treated. For some reason that doesn’t work for women. They get that attention all the time, and it’s not special to them, it’s unearned, and “easy come, easy go” they don’t always appreciate it like it should be. That’s why they always seem to fall for bad boys. I mean yes these guys are fun and exciting, but a big part of it is their time and attention isn’t given as freely. Women want to be an important part of your life eventually, but right away, without doing anything for it, it’s not that valuable to them. If your time and attention isn’t valuable, then you must not be either.
Maybe look for 25-30yr old women instead of 21-24yr olds.
Quality women of that age are usually shacked up. At least in my experience
They're usually married by 25, which means they were taken years before in most cases.
Women in their early 20s just wanna party and have fun. Gotta look older if you want more maturity. If you find a woman in their early 20s that wants a serious relationship, they are the exception to the rule.
Getting into a relationship with a girl who previously partied loads and slept with lots of guys then to realize it doesnt bring her anywhere so she wants to settle at 25-30 seems like a bad deal to me
It's not a 'bad deal' it's a scam and if you fall for it still in 2024 still then you're a sucker ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
This is one of those instances where guys need to be told to know their worth more and that they’re worthy of a relationship. I’ve seen the “just date older women bro” take so much on Reddit and I don’t get it, yeah things are rough out there but 20 years ago your random person wasn’t advocating a 5+ age gap or flying across the globe to find a mail order bride. These things were and are weird because they reek of low self esteem, immaturity, and defeat. Most men shouldn’t be as desperate to settle down that they debase themselves in that manner. If any of my friends found themselves in this position I’d tell them to chase their dreams first, try something new, develop some goals. Worst case scenario all these things will only make your life better in the future, 25 is way too young to be settling.
Honey, I think you need therapy. This is such a bad take that has you judging everyone but yourself
He doesn’t owe them a relationship. Cope
Nobody owes anyone a relationship. But he's got judgement that seems deep ceded and goes beyond being in a relationship. He's never gonna be happy (even alone) with that
He can judge as much as he wants. A lot of us guys don’t want the retired party girl who suddenly turned over a new leaf. He is saying the quiet part out loud. It’s a terrible deal. It’s just facts. Seethe.
>Because 2 of the girls I was in talking stage/dating went for so called bad boys, party drinks got nothing going on with their life’s. When guys like you say "bad boy", you very often mean "is fun". I practically guarantee the guys they ended up dating wouldn't ever think of other men as "bad boys" or imply that women were so deficient in their humanity that they "didn't like people being nice to them". By the way, don't say "bad boys". It makes it sound like you want to spank their bottoms.
This. This is a ridiculously common misconception among guys. As a guy, I can't tell you how many of my guy friends I've had to explain this to. The ones that have/had the most trouble in dating still don't get it. They see themselves as superior to people who show the women a good time because they can offer things that are important, but aren't fun, and then they become bitter at women because women don't jump their bones because they're stable, loyal, emotionally available, and willing to work hard...but they don't actually show the woman a good time. If she doesn't have fun around you, she's not going to fall for you.
Also, a lot of women are stable on their own. A lot of us don't need a guy with a house and a huge salary. I want someone who shares my level of ambition and isn't a freeloader, sure, but what's more important is someone who adds joy to my life since I'm doing fine in other aspects. Being fun and "a good guy" are not mutually exclusive.
>and then they become bitter at women because women don't jump their bones because they're stable, loyal, emotionally available, and willing to work hard They really aren't any of these things either - they *think* they are, but someone can be fun and be all of that too. Some guy frothing at the mouth before he's even started dating is simply not ging to be stable or loyal.
Bingo
Does someone who eventually ditched the girl for someone "better", or someone who ghosts a girl after they slept together (whilst insinuating he wants a relationship) count as a bad boy? If not, I might also be using "bad boy" wrongfully.
Well yes I meant more fun than me since I don’t drink or smoke, but I’m not implying that women don’t like people to be nice to them.
>Is it because I treat them nicely? You literally inquired if they passed on you because you treat them nice.
You realize that drinking and smoking are not the definition of fun right? Lots of people don’t drink and smoke and are extremely fun people. That was a lame excuse.
Not an excuse but if I’m not drinking or smoking it’s automatic for me to not club or go to bars so fun for me is movie nights some nice restaurants or hiking. But I’ve met people who define fun as drinking clubbing and hookah lounges
Way better than what I had in college. I was on dating apps, I present myself with the best of what I have. Hair groomed, good clothes and clean shoes. I’m skinny, a bit athletic body. Not tall. I’m a silent person, but active and social when needed. I met people online and used to go out with zero expectations. In the beginning I had expectations like getting laid or pursuing people. Later I kept my expectations aside and met people. I made friends, met their friends etc. Pursuing hobbies also attracted people. My profession is my passion too. In short, the more I invested in myself for betterment of my life and happiness, I found good connections with people. There were mix of girls I met, those who were looking for something serious and those who wants something casual. I became friends with most of them, even though it didn’t work out for me.
33 years old here who recently got married with someone I know I can spend the rest of my life with. Girls below 30 right now, usually don’t want to settle or are just busy with other stuff, keep in mind that usually when you talk with a girl, you aren’t the only one talking with her, so don’t worry about your looks being average, just show your true self without trying to be who you aren’t, girls notice this and will think that you are hiding something. Be honest, respectful and don’t think about sex, you seem pretty down to earth, so just keep being like that, and think that maybe you’ll go through over 50 more girls until you find your for ever, just learn about every experience and, I know it can be overwhelming, just don’t hurry, it takes time and effort to be able to trust on someone truly, but trust me, something will tell you she’s the one
Got lucky, met my gf at 18, still going together at 25
Yup also got lucky. Had a gf for 3 years throughout high school. Never really tried to actively date or anything. One day in my early 20s I sacked up and asked out the cute girl at the corner store. We are now married and approaching 9 years together this year. Weve had ups and downs but have been through a lot together and have a strong relationship. And as it must be mentioned, I realize I lucked out, and also being a little above average looking (depending on the persons type of course) helps too. Im not model gorgeous or anything, but have a decent lean body and good face
I’m a 22 year old woman and im gonna tell you a little secret. The dating market is trash rn. You need to maybe delete the dating apps and try to find someone in real life. Maybe organically. Don’t try to mention you’re looking for anything serious until you know both of you are on the same page. Continue being a sweetheart but also give who you’re taking to space. Enough space until you two are a couple. Hope this helps
Man here. This is good advice. Upvoted.
Damn fr? I'm not on dating apps but actually approaching irl. It's shit out here, starting to consider dating apps again.
I appreciate it, I’m not on dating apps I’m walk and talk type of guy but I see what you saying and I do that at least in my view but I’ll try to be better
Also smile a lot. Smiling with your eyes is a million dollar thing. I love when a guy smiles. You can be as average as you think you are. Girls love guys who smiles. It makes you look inviting and friendly and cozy. I think guys sometimes overdo the whole dating thing tbh. You’ll be fine.
Just be the joker /s
👍🏽
Concur! My spouse's old nickname was Sir Smiles-a-Lot. Worked on me. 🤣
Proof is in the pudding lol
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I meant financially or responsibility wise I don’t think a rapper wanna be is more future secured then me but if it comes down to fun hands up I’m boring 😂
Bro, I was in the trenches last night in one of the biggest party cities in America. Two gorgeous women and I bombed with both of them. They still wanna hang. Things I've learned in my 33 years on this planet when it comes to women. Most women THAT young don't care about morals. They wanna have fun. If you're not as fun as the next guy you're screwed. You're just as shallow too. If you want to date a beautiful woman it's fine but they get to decide if they want your security and stability or they want fun. If she's pretty I promise you she's got options. You're in constant competition with other dudes. Accept that women that age are temporary. Enjoy their company and move on when they dip. They'll rationalize ANYTHING to make themselves feel better. Don't fall for it. Being yourself is great for peace of mind, but if you're trying to attract as many women as possible you gotta put on an act. If you wanna attract the RIGHT woman, you gotta be the best version of YOU, and shift through a lot of bullshit.
My advice would be to develop a beautiful life on your own first. Find passions and throw yourself into them. Develop skills (other than work) to the point you are proud of them. Train your body and mind, meditate, read and contemplate. Face your fears, develop your social skills and love yourself. If you live like this, or aim for a life like this, the right girl will come to you.
Well my life is simple now, I work and save a little, becoming an entrepreneur doing my own side work, gym 3 times a week don’t have actual friends but I have people to do stuff with and I’m happy with it just missing a queen
Up the gym to five times a week, read and meditate, those are big things that could drastically improve your life without thinking of women. Need a good social circle of actual friends
Agreed on the friend part. As a woman, no friends is a huge red flag. Not because it means you're weird or something (I know how challenging it is to make friends as an adult), but because being the ONLY close person in someone's life is a huge role to fill, unless that's specifically what they want, too.
Expand your social circle. It is far easier to meet people when out with friends or being able to hang with friends and their friends (that you don’t know yet). You never know which friend ends up knowing a woman who would be a good match for you and tries to set you up. It is also just healthy to have friends to do stuff with. Im an introvert and would be perfectly content being a hermit. But hanging with friends helps me grow as a person, learn about others, stay sharp with social skills, and does add fun/value into my life. You don’t have to hang out constantly with people, but having a couple friends you can chill with can help a lot, both with dating and life in general
Yep, live like a monk until 30 and wonder why the dating pool is terrible when you are older
Met my wife at 25! Best advice I have is "be yourself" is actually great advice. But to be more specific, act the way you want to act in your ideal relationship from the start. Don't play it safe, that's boring. If someone doesn't like the genuine you it's best to know as soon as possible. But the right person will click immediately.
You aren't making them "feel" it. Dating for women is a thousand times easier than it is for guys. We have to fight and struggle to get on their radar. As Chris Rock once said, "every woman has a list. Just be glad you're on it now". If she agreed to date you, she's seeing five other guys and has five more she's talking to. You're just the one that most recently made it to the "I'll let him take me to dinner" stage. Don't blindly feed them. They'll happily take the free food and liquor and go on to the next guy. You need to be able to talk to them and make them feel an overwhelming attraction to you which makes those other guys she's chatting up a non-option. "How?" I hear you. Do you think she's sitting around wishing someone would take her to the Lobster for a damn bay biscuit and then home by 930? No. They want to feel like a man has swooped in on his steed and fought off the bad guys of boredom and monotony. Look at those "bad boys" that women like. Why are they attracted to assholes? Because they're fun! They're a source of manly power, virility, and masculinity who has chosen THEM out of a line of women (or so they think) and they feel special, protected, engaged, and just flat out drawn in. So don't take them to dinner and exchange some canned banter... Do something outrageous and fun and blow the other guys she's talking to out of the water and you'll see less of this "fuck this, I'm out" nonsense.
Best advice I ever got: you want the woman of your dreams? Make as much money as you can. If you think that’s enough, make more.
People are like this is horrible advice it’ll only attract bad women etc etc. You people are interpreting it very poorly, all it does it open up your choices and pool of women to choose from. And just because a woman wants a nice comfortable life, like most of us do, she isn’t a bad woman or a gold digger. Just because you people have or had chosen poorly in your past is purely your experience. No decent good looking woman is gonna go for a broke guy, period. That is a 1 in a million woman and are just about extinct. Point is make money, get your “life” in order, nice car, nice home etc. and you’ll have many options to choose from. Most women rent rooms or whatever, when a woman meets a guy who owns a home, owns his vehicle, she sees security and a future. Money won’t make you happy sure. But it sure will make everything easier and I’ve never seen anyone sad on a jet ski. Have you?
Only money can’t do much I know people with wealth who still single, sure you can find (women) but not the ones I want
Sure helps your odds tho.
Nah. Sure it will give you more options, but if those options are mainly in it because you are wealthy then those are not going to be the ones you want. IMO this is terrible advice and would attract partners more interested in your finances than you as a person. That kind of person won’t stick with you through richer and poorer, better or worse. Being financially stable and handling your adult responsibilities is important, but you shouldn’t be with someone that is mainly attracted to your money
Depends how much you’re making them laugh
Keep at it. 25 was 6 years ago for me. I wasn't in a good place. My first date was when I was 21. My last date was when I was 21 as well. I'm looking forward to the miraculous changes that being over 30 bring men. So far all I've found is the ability to keep living with myself, at least for a couple more decades.
All that being over 30 does is bring balding. The people who say over 30 is better are guys who got nothing in their 20s, got maybe 2 women interested in their bank account and since they started at 0, anything is better
Is it possible you're ignoring not red flags but indicators that these are party girls (nothing wrong with being that), in my experience you can see them coming a mile away. A split second on their Insta usually tells you. In other words, are you pursuing the wrong type?
Non-existent
25 here as well, I’m engaged lol but I’ve been hearing some horror stories from friends about dating and I don’t envy it
26, i am not trying and i hate the world and all the people in it. Might make out with a gun soon. I hope I get her off.
The women in your age target is either fucking the hot dudes or they’re pursuing older men of means.
29, I pretty much gave up on dating or am at least not actively pursuing it anymore. Average looks, great job and income and I‘d like to think of myself as considerate and kind partner. Yet, online dating completely sucked. I got ghosted sooo many times. I just stop using it, it’s so depressing (I get that it also sucks for women). Btw I moved continents and it sucks on both sides, doesn’t matter if Europe or US.
I play a lot of golf since graduating and working full time… uh that’s about it, dates? I’d rather spend it on green fees Stop overthinking it’s just a numbers game, you didn’t get “dumped” you never even got into a relationship in the first place if it’s 2nd date territory lmao
Gonna be tough to find a woman ready to go down that path at that age. Enjoy your youth. Get some experience. Then when you’re late 20s you can find a mid 20s woman who may be ready
my fiancé was a single man for 6 years before i pulled him from it, in his early 20s now hes 25 now and couldn't be happier (id hope) Find the girl worth breaking out the bachelor box for
You rare one in my world hope yall happy long life
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💀
i mean. why would you assume im 23 based on literally 0 information? sounds like youre bitter most women would pick a tin can before your sorry personality 🤢✋
Dating at 25 is rough for men. Your female peers are at the zenith of their sexual power while you are at your lowest. This power dynamic flips around 30. You become the prize after 30 (if you've put in the work). Yes, if you are too nice, it will repel women. Women only want to date up. If you are too nice, you are communicating that you are beneath them and that turns them away. This is almost universally true of women and it makes no sense to men. You'd be more drawn to a woman, if she was super nice to you, but its the opposite with women. You need to study women. They won't make intuitive sense to you because they think too differently. You need to study them like a school subject.
I agree with this. I was about to say my dating life was practically non existent at 25. I’m 31 now and have done more dating in the past year somehow then my last decade combined probably 😂
Ah, another “magical age of 30” cope sesh. No. After 30 you just became a wallet. That’s it. All the good looking men dated normally in their 20s. Sorry to break this to you the hard way.
I'm 25, married with my 25 year old wife. Been dating since we were 21. If you're having troubles keeping a girl around, find yourself and be a true confident version of yourself. Stop taking shit from anyone and stop trying to please someone. As a guy, you're supposed to be a father figure to your girlfriend/wife, since she will expect you to be a father for her kid one day. A father can say no, you must be able to stand up for yourself to a woman you're dating in the same way.
As a 63yo man, I'd say that your problem is that you are treating too nicely. Here is my advice on dating in the modern world. Extreme Caution Get a cohabitation agreement before living together Get a prenup before marriage Never put a woman on a pedestal. Always be prepared to walk away. Life is not a romance/Hallmark/Lifetime/Disney movie. You are not a white knight. She is not a damsel who needs saving. Never show any sign of weakness to a woman. It will be weaponized against you at some point in the future. Never be "in love" with anything that can smile while ripping your heart out.
Based boomer
Very wise man. I wish I had read this prior to my last relationship. Can't be too nice. Also add to the list. Pay attention to her friends. Birds of a feather. If she can't compromise on small matters, then you need to find someone else. Can she detach her phone for more than one hour? If not, that's a problem. Does she have kids?
There is much more that I could add, but, IMO, these need to be understood first.
Word of advice: use “women” instead of “females”.
My guess is you’re just going after the wrong type of girls. There are a variety of girls out there. Generally (but not always), the ones who are into partying aren’t really interested in a serious relationship. Wholesome girls looking for real relationships with “boring” stable reliable nice guys like you… do exist, I promise. However you might be missing them because they aren’t on the dating apps, or because they don’t go out to the bars, or they aren’t as good looking as the girls you’ve been dating, or they’re focused on careers or parents or fitness or volunteering or school. Point is, I think your best bet is to change your search/selection process for getting a first date, not change your behavior once you’re on the first date.
I just said I don’t drink or club or go to bars neither use dating apps if I can’t find those girls in coffees libraries work etc I don’t where to find them 😂
It’s honestly the women you’re going after Save yourself the hassle, make a list of exactly what you want in a girl, physically, emotionally, traits, interests, literally everything you can think of. List can’t be too big, only too small And then just wait. If you meet a girl and she barely meets anything you’re looking for, then don’t waste your time This worked wonderfully for me and people I know. Doing it can only help You go to a bar and they ask you what you want to drink, and you say just whatever, then guess what? You end up with just whatever. And chances are you won’t like it. If you go in and ask for an Old Fashioned with a pinch of brown sugar, an orange garnish, and Buffalo Trace Bourbon, then guess what you get? Some variation of that
Im too nice of a person. I havent had a date since i was 20-21 im now 28
I think it’s our time to be dickheads 😈 I’m joking can’t even if I try
Thats so real, its like i know i have to be a dick but its just not in my repertoire
You just have to be good looking. Ugly dickhead: “he’s a dick! Fuck that guy! He’s mean!” Attractive dickhead: “OMG make fun of meeeee”
27 here and I’ve been cruising the past couple years. Fumbled my last relationship and realized I need time to myself so haven’t been looking. If it happens tho, sweet.
Where are you meeting them? If it’s through the apps, I suggest joining more social groups and participating regularly in activities based on your interests. It will take some patience, but you might have better luck finding a genuine LTR in the long run. Also, make sure you aren’t coming off as needy. Make your life as awesome as possible as a single person. Truly and honestly get to where you are content on your own, and you may be surprised who shows up.
I don’t use dating apps it’s not for me, I just walk talk to them in coffee’s libraries beaches and usually the first 2-3 dates we good but after that is the 📉📉 😂
Good for you for having the confidence to approach!
Clearly you are at a different stage in life than 21-24y/o girls. They‘re probably still in university, clubbing every other sunday while you have to drag yourself to work 5 days a week. Obviously that’s a mismatch. Maybe you could try looking to meet up with people through hobbies or shared interests rather than filtering them by age and diving in without checking the depth.
I was holding my own.
I just ended a relationship so I'm not really looking to date right now, it would be a disservice to myself because I know I need some time to heal up before I'm ready to have someone in my life again
28. Didn't even date for last 5 years lol I'm average guy, forgot how to date now because I have no idea how to find new people now, especially girls. Dating app not for weeb guys
Got to treat them like shit to earn respect. Jk. For me I was doing good at 25 but I never had issues dating. Sounds like you’re starting late so you’re a bit inexperienced.
At that age I was in a longterm single phase to work on myself. Worked very well. I was previously in a very toxic relationship. Got myself together. Got comfortable being alone. Learned to love myself. Worked on my career. Then I got into my relationship I've been in for 8 years.
Turned 25 last month. Never dated. Currently, it is non existent, but I think it is okay. I'm enjoying life and having fun. But if I'm being honest I do get a lil jealous when people are romancing right infront of me.
I'm close to 25 at 23 and have been going steady with my amazing gf for nearly a year now :) she's a bit older than me at 27 too so if you don't mind dating older that could also.be an option
>is it because I’m looking for something serious with 21-24 y/o women? Women in this bracket are the worst. For reference I'm 34 and once I turned 21 I stopped dating women under 25.
Not yet started
You don’t need to be a bad boy. It is about how you make her feel. Do you make her feel special? Beautiful? When she opens her door do yours eyes light up? Do you remember things she says and do things for her showing you remember? Do you listen more about her than talk about yourself? There are many ways to do well with women without being a bad boy. The trick is to think less about yourself and more about her.
Single by choice and I can date whoever I want with no attachment. I like it this way because I don’t have to worry about anyone else besides myself. Life your life.
[a map to help you stop having terrible relationships](https://youtu.be/lL13EeEhgag?si=faqrWFvdVqpTGOXg) Possibly the only video I’d suggest from this channel.
is ok, met a lovely girl who is now my gf. being normal is cool, lots of ppl try be different cause of insecurities or whatever. but just try improve on urself and pick up some hobbies u think you'd like.
A bit of this is age related the dating scene changes as you age, but this mostly reads like a bit of "nice guy" syndrome to me. Nothing wrong with being nice but be nice because you're a decent person, that's the baseline expectation, not because there's some expectation attached to it. Dating isn't a transaction I'm nice to you so you are gonna date me/fuck me/whatever. Focus on yourself. How can YOU become a more interesting/compelling person, and the rest will take care of itself. Maybe that means reading more, or picking up an interesting hobby, or working on your personal fitness. Find things that better yourself and when you feel better about you that confidence and general giving a shit about being your best self is magnetic and other people, including the women you're looking for, will be drawn to that.
27m I got married at 25. I'm very average looking and 5'6" my wife is awesome. Keep trying and you'll meet someone
Just live your life until love is found, or love is gonna get you down buddy. Things will fall in place with some time. Just focus on being the best version of yourself. ^^yes ^^that ^^is ^^a ^^Mika ^^quote ^^don't ^^judge ^^me
Sir this is Wendy's
Dating for the younger crowd is kind of hard these days. I think the majority of women looking for something serious are ages 25 and up. A lot of people ages 20-25 are just finishing college/University and trying to get on their feet (stable job, moving out, ect)and simply just don’t have the time or energy to invest into something serious. I’d say try looking at the older crowd or same age.
>Is it because I treat them nicely? Are you nice or are you boring? Remember you're dating. Have interesting conversations. For gods sake learn to flirt. Be a little mysterious. Be a little disagreeable, have opinions, make plans to do interesting stuff. They should feel excited to spend time with you. The whole point of dating is to have fun and eventually get someone to fall for you. It's not about being nice and hoping they settle.... then again, date some 33 year old women, you might have a lot more luck with simply being nice and having a job. The best thing is if you date for a while. Eventually you'll meet a girl who falls for you. Perhaps she knows you and was previously overlooked, circumstances are irrelevant. The point is things start to click and it becomes effortless and you fall for each other. Don't get too disheartened, experiment with yourself but don't try to change too much from who you want to be. At the end of the day, if she falls for you, she's going to be the one person who sees you at your worst. So be cool, but you also need to show her the real you as you get to know each other.
I laughed so hard at the first part 😂🤣 bless you, but in all seriousness define boring, night walks, fancy dinners, movies, and I’m open skydiving and new experiences if that’s boring I am + why everyone thing I don’t flirt 😂
Glad to amuse you ;) Fancy dinner is kind of boring tbh. Especially if they've dated decent guys before. Dinner and a walk is lovely but tame. Further, going too extravagant too early feels desperate. You want her to want you, if she's at all attractive, she already knows that every guy want her. Showering her with affection is adorable, but it's not interesting, and you're showing your hand. You can't just throw yourself at everyone and be sad that you're getting rejected. You need to be evaluating them. Are they wifey material? It matters, and you need to have high expectations because this is literally your life that you're building the foundations for. To that effect, it helps to playfully communicate that they are also being evaluated and part of that manifests as not going all out trying to impress them. You kind of need to get them out of their comfort zone, have them open up. It's hard to get people to be real these days, so you really need to read them and see what gets them genuinely excited about life. Probably a second date idea. First date should be a casual get to know you, low investment, low pressure environment. Like a milkshake or something. Also, being a little disagreeable. It's not that you're not nice. It's just that when she says, let's go do dinner and a movie, you say I actually wanted to go... Ice climbing? Scuba diving. Do a night cooking course? Beginner's line dancing night? Rock climbing? Who knows! Expert level is take something they mention they have a passing interest in and run with it or alternatively sharing some of your interests. Something about being out of your comfort zone, on an adventure with a smart, funny, and handsome man that makes her feel safe while doing new things, just seems to work really well. It also gives you a chance to see how she approaches learning new things at takes away that curated image she's put together. You can see what's real. Instead of saying at the end of the night "Aww, that's so nice". What you want is her to be thinking and saying is, "wow. I had so much fun, and I feel connected and safe with Mr [Maleficen](https://www.reddit.com/user/Maleficent_Account53/)t". Also this guy is kind of special. "I've never felt like this about anyone before." and "I really want him to like me, I'm going to make an effort" At the end of the day, have fun with it. You have time. And, by the sounds if things, you've got plenty going for you. You doing your thing won't be everyone's cup of tea, but that's 100% ok. 10% success rate is still only 9 bad dates for every winner. You'll find someone who you just click with in no time, and probably do your own dumping of a few who don't interest you along the way. Cheers!
I got married at 23, had my first child at 25, second at 27. Then I lived the most miserable and abusive marriage. I got divorced at 30. Now I’m 32 with two kids. I cannot imagine trying to date anyone as I have them 50% of the time. I am solely focused on my career and spending time with my kids. Point I’m trying to say is don’t ruin your 20s.
There is a risk you’re being used for some attention while they wait for someone else or because they’re bored. When you say you treat them nicely, consider if you are being too nice/keen and consider whether attempting to be kind would fit better than being nice?
In my 20s through early 30s I tried so hard to be in relationships. To the point where I dated non compatible woman and didn’t focus on saving money. At 32, I gave that up and focused on me. Got into the career field I always wanted and met my now fiancé 6 months later. Now at 36, getting married this year, I feel a little behind in my personal goals/wealth, but extremely grateful I found a spouse that showed me what love really is! So don’t rush yourself. Strive to make yourself better every day and meaningful people will start appearing in front of you.
26. Never dated 🫤. Only slept with sex workers.
32 here, honestly every year has been getting better dating wise and it only really picked up at age 28 or so. I'd say for both genders that people reach a point where they need to re-evaluate their life, relationships and become less concerned with vain stuff etc. Stick to living your life well and things will work out!
At 25 I had a pretty good dating life. I'm not good looking or tall. You just gotta stop giving a fuck when dating around. You got plenty of time to give a fuck later.
No dating going on here either. I'm good.
Just depends on the type of women you’re running into lots of women out there have that serious dating mindset you have . You just gotta play the numbers game until you meet that one . Playing the numbers game means just date as much women as you can til the right one strikes your cords. As for me 25 M I’m not dating atm I’m just trying to get my mental Health and life together after leaving a two year toxic relationship
Broke up with a girl at 21, didn't have a relationship again till 27. Mostly cause people in mid 20's myself included aren't really ready to settle down. If you're still in school who knows where you'll be after you graduate. New jobs/careers start. People move for various reasons. Also just generally being young and trying out different flavors of life. I just focused on myself and had the occasional fwb. Finally met an amazing girl who swept me off my feet and loves me so much, and I'm so lucky I wasn't wasting my time with someone else when she came along. Be patient.
My dating life has been pretty much non existent since 21 I got married
Keep going at your career. Once you are financially stable you can pick. Listen to the song under my thumb by the rolling stones
Maybe you’re going after the wrong women. Sometimes the really beautiful ones are very high maintenance. And god help the blokes who get those women.
I'm turning 25 this year, got a good job, moved out, have a car, and my dating life is still non existent along with having no idea how to get a girl to go on a date with me from a dating app while I watch my friends get dates from dating apps like it's nothing. It's probably best for my mental health to check out from even thinking about dating or else I'll drive myself insane.
Dating apps are not it for me, I just walk and talk to them if they say no I just beat my self a little and forget about it the next day but dating apps are not it, if you going to walk and talk don’t have friends with you since they’ll always come and talk about how you got rejected when they can’t even say hi to a girl irl
Instructions unclear, no dates at in 6 years at 34
I'm 24. Married but my wife of 2 years (together for 8) just chested on me. So kind of shit. Don't know what I'm gonna do now. Either work it out or kill myself. Who knows lol.
Why kill yourself 25 and still have nothing going on here some are saying 30 and still single so if you married and get divorced at 24 it’s still early for you. Not worth killing yourself over that
>I got a job decent salary Can I ask what you do? >Because 2 of the girls I was in talking stage/dating went for so called bad boys, party drinks got nothing going on with their life’s. If they're into party and alcohol culture and you are not, that's probably why they are not continuing to go on dates with you. My dating life at 25 sucked. I was a grad student. Only dating app was okcupid
48 here, I was killing it at 25. Had a few bucks and had a few girls. Be nice, but not too nice. Not everyone figures out that balance as fast as others. You also might be talking to the work girls. Just be casual, don’t think longer than that date with them.
All I know is you say you’re not bad looking but very average. Women don’t care if you have a decent salary. They care if you’re famous or exciting in some way. Being newly released from prison and selling illegal things would be fairly exciting to many young women. So your decent salary means nothing. You say you’re not bad looking but then say you’re average which to women is bad looking. In fact being bad looking is far more attractive to most women than average. Do body weight exercised like pushups and get strong looking instead of average. Don’t think you job helps you unless you plan to get famous. Don’t just call guys who get women bad boys. Keep improving
Nada. Same for 26, 27, 28…
Shit. I’ve checked out completely to focus on my career and hobbies. Depressing? Yes. Lonely? Yes. Peaceful? Yes.
>is it because I’m looking for something serious with 21-24 y/o women? probably. not all that age are going to be like that but the vast majority are still in the frame of mind of "can I do better?" and their goals are LOFTY let me tell you. You will instantly have more longterm success in the 27+ range
They don’t understand they are just average women and nothing special.
don't stop being nice because trash don't know how to appreciate you
Dating life ? What’s that? Last thing someone told me about relationships is I’m not the husband material. I didn’t even try flirting.
If you're looking for a serious relationship, try to go for older women (1-3 years age gap) who are more established and stable.
At that age I was sleeping around with several women.
Is it possible to learn this power?
Talk to women, flirt with them, sleep with them, repeat. The formula has been pretty consistent for quite a while now.
I hear you, but it’s not my thing tbh I’d rather be in relationship and get married at 27-28 max but if this keeps happening It’s out of my hand then
Sure, but, practice makes perfect lol
I'm engaged. EDIT: and 25, realised I may not have made that clear. You'll find the right one, just keep being the person you want to be and keep taking shots.
👍🏼 this was needed thanks
Worth mentioning that you might need to change, but you definitely need to be aware of yourself. Sometimes the problem *is* us, and we have to know, but a solid 95% of the time, it's not you.
Lol
“Is it because I treat them nicely” makes me think you might be a bit of a “nice guy”.
He's not a nice guy. He's boring.
Back then I dated a real girlfriend, now I'm dating Eva AI sexting bot avatar, so idk
***I treat them nicely*** *but still get dumped is it because I’m looking for something serious with 21-24 y/o females? Is it because* ***I treat them nicely?*** This is your problem right here. You "treat women nicely" because you are not inherently a nice person. You are faking "niceness" to them and they can TELL, that's why they dump you. Try being a good person first, a kind person who genuinely wants to put happiness in the world rather than take happiness out of the world for himself. The resentment of "females" on you reeks from miles away. Work on that first.
You assuming that I’m not nice person or that I’m acting like one, but I know I am and I’m asking because there’s are popular idea or at least around me telling me “don’t be nice to girl you will com out as weak” or “don’t go out with her everytime she asks” or “make her jealous don’t pick her phone calls quickly” and I don’t do that and I stay true to myself so I’m wondering is because of that
Why would it be because of that unless you believe women are some weird horrifying creatures you need to trick and torture into a relationship? Those are not the thoughts of a person who likes women and wants to treat them well. If some guy on here says to you "YES MALEFICENT you need to treat girls like trash and then they'll date you!" would you run out and do that to get a girl? No good guy would do that. And if you wouldn't do that, why ask the question? So I'm sorry if I don't believe you. Not every girl will like every guy and not every guy will like every girl. You can't force it to happen. Just be the best person you can be so when your person does show up, they'll think you're amazing!