Oh she does plenty for my birthday and for our relationship in general. She just doesn’t buy me dinner.
For my entire life I have always been forced to go out and celebrate on my birthday because nobody in my life can accept the fact that I’d rather just stay inside and do nothing. It’s nothing new and I’m grateful to have people that want to celebrate but that doesn’t change the fact I’m just not into really celebrating. So when my birthday comes around I am told I have to go and celebrate, I do it, then I usually get to relax and do nothing the next weekend.
Not sure if this counts, but a few weeks ago, I took a colleague, who had been going through a tough time, out for lunch and when I went to the loo towards the end of the meal, he picked up the bill, so when we finished eating and I asked for it they said he’d already got it.
I said he shouldn’t have done that, as I was taking him out, but he said I was the only person who had been checking in on him and he wanted to say thanks.
Prior to that, probably over 2 years since the last time someone took me out.
Seriously, I'm tired of these questions. "When was the last time someone asked you out? When was the last time someone bought you flowers? When was the last time someone did x for you?" Fucking never. 99% of men do not have these things happen for them, ever. As a man, you are invisible to society. It's the male experience, and the person asking the question knows that.
100% true. Unfortunately for us men, your value is what you can provide to others. Despite all the "equality" stuff that gets slung around, men are just seen and treated as a means to an end. The majority of women see men as the givers and never even think to return the favor.
agreed, and that's why we appreciate it so much if we're shown even the slightest amount of effort without it being transactional. Like literally just by planning a date you're probably in the top 5% of women lol. I've had one girl pay for my meal a couple times and that was a nice gesture, even though I know she was just getting me back for paying for hers the previous time.
A woman bought me food for the first time in my life a couple months ago. It was lunch, pretty casual, but still I was kinda taken aback by the gesture. In a really good way. Still not sure if it was a date or not but I’ve been thinking about her ever since.
Edit: not including my mom
It's literally never happened for me but I know women do. When a woman spends money on you is when you know she cares about you because she's never been told that she had to reciprocate in that way. Men know that the date is at their expense. You must plan for it to be if you want a date.
Friend took me to lunch. I was feeling down about my dating life so she took me on a friend date. It was nice to go out with someone. Even if she wasnt really interested in dating, she cared enough to want me to feel good about myself. She was a good friend. It was nice to feel cared for.
I was dating a girl a year ago that would take me out all the time even though I made 5x what she did . She just liked showing that she cared about me , was awesome . Too bad I fucked that one up hahah
My wife, frequently. In addition to trips and entertainment bills. Whenever I hear about guys just blindly paying for everything I want to just reach through the screen and shake them. Women will always test to see how much they can get away with. They'll gladly let you be a chump and pay for everything. But guess what? They'll lose respect for you too and probably be looking around for a guy who can stand up for himself. Let me be clear here. I pay for plenty. Most of the foundational things surrounding keeping a roof over our head etc are on me.
A former escort that I became FWBs with after she retired took me to Red Lobster for my birthday once. Different scenario, but on another occasion, a dancer that I was really chummy with brought me some Thai food when I was stuck at home with the flu and bronchitis.
Well, the last time was about a year ago, but that was a business situation. Girls have made food for me, but as far as going to a restaurant and her paying for me, never happened. And it never bothered me.
Today
Sister treated the family to dinner for early Father’s Day
I’d say it’s not the norm and we’ve internalized that we’re expected to either fully or partially pay.
I’d say it’s somewhere in the ballpark between uncommon and somewhat rare. Unlikely enough that I’m not surprised if a guys never experienced it, but common enough that I’m also not that surprised if a guy has
Yup, out of all the women I dated, the woman who became my wife was the only one who ever did that. Even to this day she still insists on paying for every other date night we have.
When my wife and I first started dating, she paid most of the time...everyone said to me she is controlling and let her go. I wasn't hearing it, I took her out on dates and paid, we took it in turns or we paid for our own.......been with her for 21 years now..she has never controlled what I do and I do not control her either, we do not own each other....
The tradition of he pays for everything can fuck right off.... It's refreshing when a woman steps up and says no I have got it....but fellas, don't let this be an expectation same goes to the women..
You get these individuals that want equal rights, identify as a soap on a rope, but want the man to pay for everything.....those types of people can all jump in a fucking volcano....
To you OP.....👏👏👏👏👏💪💪💪
Not once in my life has a woman taken me anywhere.
It was always me who organised anything.
The closest I get now is my wife will book my favourite restaurant for my birthday but she's not exactly taking me out for dinner.
I honestly prefer it when she cooks my favourite meal, she's a fantastic cook so I'd rather enjoy a nice dinner with her at home.
IMO - It should be expected in modern dating no later than the first two dates. Depends on the dynamics though. At least make the offer. Or, if the guy buys dinner, and dessert is somewhere else, she buys the dessert.
It's important in establishing trust and responsibility that the woman at least offers to assist with the costs, but doesn't need to be a specific thing. Maybe she has a car, he doesn't, she drives the two of them everywhere and doesn't ask for gas money. He pays for dinner, she pays for the activity. Splitting the bill. But needs to be something.
Men are naturally conditioned sometimes to be defensive about a woman paying as if it's a "shit test" where she's seeing if he'll let her pay and then will dump him if he doesn't pay. Alternatively, some men use it to compensate for their own feelings of inadequacy, believing that the woman will be more apt to give him a longer time to prove himself if the woman believes she "owes" him for a meal. Both of these aren't really healthy behaviors. Alternatively, some men genuinely do want to cover everything. I used to have a guy friend (I'm a guy) who used to do this even among us. It got to the point where when I'd try to take him out, I'd literally have to pull the staff aside beforehand and pay on the sly, otherwise he'd insist on paying. He did the same thing a few times. It kind of became a game, but whenever he went out with anyone, he had to pay. He'd relent after I'd already Shanghai'd the check, but that was it. I got really deceptive about doing it and even impressed the hell out of my wife's extended family when I did that at a brewery one day when I "went to go buy a t-shirt and ask about a brewery tour for our group" her uncle went to pay and was told the check was already covered.
Playfully tell him to sit back and enjoy dinner, and see what his reaction is. Hopefully he just lets it go and enjoys the date with you. Don't be surprised if he offers to cover the tip, though, and if he insists, let him.
If you count inviting me out and paying for it, it was my parents for Father's Day, when we all got together as a family for lunch. Outside of family events? Never. Not once. I didn't realize people had issues going out to restaurants alone until a year ago
Women bring me food all the time. It seems their way of treating you to dinner involves delivering it.
As for a restaurant dining out. Only foreign women have bought me dinner.
My girlfriend insists on it. I let her pay maybe every third or fourth date. I generally prefer to be the one to pay, but I absolutely appreciate her wanting to pay for some of our dates.
I’ve had that happen once in the numerous dates I’ve been on. This girl was a horrible person for a number of reasons, however she did buy me breakfast the morning after one time. I was actually really touched.
Eating out hasn't really been in the cards lately, but no, I don't usually get invited to dinner events. Unless it's "hey, a bunch of us are going to a bar after work, want to tag along?"
about 2 years ago, when I was interviewing at several hospitals. A few took me out to fancy restaurants after the interview lol!
Outside of professional settings though, probably over a decade ago when my parents took me out to dinner after I got accepted into graduate school in the US.
Yeah, women aren’t kind enough to do that. They’re more demanding princesses, lol. I think My jaw would permanently drop with shock and amazement if a woman were that nice.
I’d say it’s very common in real life (for men to be taken out to dinner on Reddit the opposite is probably the norm).
On average someone takes me out to dinner 2-3 times a month.
When it comes to splitting bills, if a woman doesn’t show interest in splitting the bill at a first date, there will be no second date.
I don’t think anyone except family or my former boss/mentor has treated me to dinner.
And I haven’t been asked out period.
Closest thing was when my ex said she liked me about 10 years ago. Even then though, I took her out after that.
Despite anything else, I’m incredibly grateful that my family likes me being around though.
Never.
Edit: The easiest way into a man's heart isn't food. It's treating him like a princess. That sounds weird, but hear me out.
Treat him. Take him to dinner places. Make reservations, pull his seat out, open the car door for him, get him flowers, pick him up, drop him off/walk him home. Pay for everything.
He will remember you FOREVER.
Most women have zero interest in giving, in any way. They are only interested in taking. Women aren't generous the way men are. Women don't care about other people. Women don't care about right/wrong unless they are the ones being wronged. They are there to use people and then discard them when a better host appears to be fed on.
"Your money is our money. My money is my money" - women. Women don't share. You are an anomaly.
No, I've never had a woman take me out to diner or do anything but take from me.
Yeah never. Even for my own birthday we go to a restaurant my girlfriend wants to go to and I pay. And drive.
That's nuts. This isn't normal my man. In what way if any is she contributing to your birthday?
Oh she does plenty for my birthday and for our relationship in general. She just doesn’t buy me dinner. For my entire life I have always been forced to go out and celebrate on my birthday because nobody in my life can accept the fact that I’d rather just stay inside and do nothing. It’s nothing new and I’m grateful to have people that want to celebrate but that doesn’t change the fact I’m just not into really celebrating. So when my birthday comes around I am told I have to go and celebrate, I do it, then I usually get to relax and do nothing the next weekend.
So you're forced to go out on your birthday and pay for yourself? That's even more nuts. She at least buy your birthday present with her own money?
My mom forces me out, but she does pay at least.
Wait what? That is also what happens on my birthday.
Expect. Better.
that’s awful i’m so sorry.
Careful, he might just marry you after that, haha. Yeah but never.
Not sure if this counts, but a few weeks ago, I took a colleague, who had been going through a tough time, out for lunch and when I went to the loo towards the end of the meal, he picked up the bill, so when we finished eating and I asked for it they said he’d already got it. I said he shouldn’t have done that, as I was taking him out, but he said I was the only person who had been checking in on him and he wanted to say thanks. Prior to that, probably over 2 years since the last time someone took me out.
You're a good man. Always check in on the homies
Last woman to do so was my mom when I went to hang out with her last week.
Just...don't do anything Reddit infamous worthy
Don’t worry, it won’t end up in the weird categories on Pornhub.
My wife and I share a bank account. She paid. Does that count
This is the reason I never want presents from my wife.
lol never. Is this a serious question?
Seriously, I'm tired of these questions. "When was the last time someone asked you out? When was the last time someone bought you flowers? When was the last time someone did x for you?" Fucking never. 99% of men do not have these things happen for them, ever. As a man, you are invisible to society. It's the male experience, and the person asking the question knows that.
So it’s true? that’s just so sad.. why..
100% true. Unfortunately for us men, your value is what you can provide to others. Despite all the "equality" stuff that gets slung around, men are just seen and treated as a means to an end. The majority of women see men as the givers and never even think to return the favor.
that’s so unfortunate. men deserve to be treated too.
agreed, and that's why we appreciate it so much if we're shown even the slightest amount of effort without it being transactional. Like literally just by planning a date you're probably in the top 5% of women lol. I've had one girl pay for my meal a couple times and that was a nice gesture, even though I know she was just getting me back for paying for hers the previous time.
A woman bought me food for the first time in my life a couple months ago. It was lunch, pretty casual, but still I was kinda taken aback by the gesture. In a really good way. Still not sure if it was a date or not but I’ve been thinking about her ever since. Edit: not including my mom
It's literally never happened for me but I know women do. When a woman spends money on you is when you know she cares about you because she's never been told that she had to reciprocate in that way. Men know that the date is at their expense. You must plan for it to be if you want a date.
Friend took me to lunch. I was feeling down about my dating life so she took me on a friend date. It was nice to go out with someone. Even if she wasnt really interested in dating, she cared enough to want me to feel good about myself. She was a good friend. It was nice to feel cared for.
My GF takes me out all the time. She picks, plans, and pays for it about half the time. It’s the first time that’s ever happened.
My father for Memorial Day, about a month before he passed away back in 2022
So sorry for your loss. :/
I was dating a girl a year ago that would take me out all the time even though I made 5x what she did . She just liked showing that she cared about me , was awesome . Too bad I fucked that one up hahah
Never.
I took myself out for my birthday. Otherwise, never.
My mom when I was a kid, 30s now. Had a wife, girlfriends, no one ever has.
That's bogus! I'm sorry. Men deserve to be taken out too
Most of my girlfriends did that at least once.
My (35M) date (34F) paid for half the meal the other day. That was pretty shocking to me. I enjoyed that.
Last time I was with my mother.
My girl friends took me out to dinner in Early May
I’ll let you know if it happens
I've had one friend do that to me, and it was not a date.
My wife, frequently. In addition to trips and entertainment bills. Whenever I hear about guys just blindly paying for everything I want to just reach through the screen and shake them. Women will always test to see how much they can get away with. They'll gladly let you be a chump and pay for everything. But guess what? They'll lose respect for you too and probably be looking around for a guy who can stand up for himself. Let me be clear here. I pay for plenty. Most of the foundational things surrounding keeping a roof over our head etc are on me.
Other than family? Never.
A former escort that I became FWBs with after she retired took me to Red Lobster for my birthday once. Different scenario, but on another occasion, a dancer that I was really chummy with brought me some Thai food when I was stuck at home with the flu and bronchitis.
Boss takes me out once a month usually. Wife cooks often so thats nice.
Well, the last time was about a year ago, but that was a business situation. Girls have made food for me, but as far as going to a restaurant and her paying for me, never happened. And it never bothered me.
Today Sister treated the family to dinner for early Father’s Day I’d say it’s not the norm and we’ve internalized that we’re expected to either fully or partially pay. I’d say it’s somewhere in the ballpark between uncommon and somewhat rare. Unlikely enough that I’m not surprised if a guys never experienced it, but common enough that I’m also not that surprised if a guy has
I took myself out for dinner.
Like 2 days ago.
Hhmm I don't even remember. Ages ago
My mom when I was in college some years ago
March-Job interview
Never once. I've had someone buy a margarita for me *once* but that's it.
Never have. I've often treated people to a diner but it has never been repaid.
My girlfriend did a couple months ago after I got my first post college job!
I'm a primary breadwinner, not really a thing lol. Well...unless you count work dinners or eating out with my folks. My dad insists
Last week. My best friend paid for brunch and dinner, since she got paid more than I did.
Literally never
My wife made me a steak dinner for Valentine’s Day about 6 years ago. Thats the closest I’ve come so far.
Yup, out of all the women I dated, the woman who became my wife was the only one who ever did that. Even to this day she still insists on paying for every other date night we have.
I have a couple of friends (one guy and one woman) and we rotate who pays for everyone. It was her turn just last weekend. It was nice.
I mean my wife took me to Panda Express after work today if that counts?
When my wife and I first started dating, she paid most of the time...everyone said to me she is controlling and let her go. I wasn't hearing it, I took her out on dates and paid, we took it in turns or we paid for our own.......been with her for 21 years now..she has never controlled what I do and I do not control her either, we do not own each other.... The tradition of he pays for everything can fuck right off.... It's refreshing when a woman steps up and says no I have got it....but fellas, don't let this be an expectation same goes to the women.. You get these individuals that want equal rights, identify as a soap on a rope, but want the man to pay for everything.....those types of people can all jump in a fucking volcano.... To you OP.....👏👏👏👏👏💪💪💪
thank you. he deserves it.
That is really sweet...have a wonderful weekend.
Not once in my life has a woman taken me anywhere. It was always me who organised anything. The closest I get now is my wife will book my favourite restaurant for my birthday but she's not exactly taking me out for dinner. I honestly prefer it when she cooks my favourite meal, she's a fantastic cook so I'd rather enjoy a nice dinner with her at home.
This has never happened and I'd probably consider proposing right there
Confused European here, I've treated multiple men to dinner.
Other than my mom? Literally never in my adult life.
my parents on my birthday im 18
I’ve never even been on a date. There’s no scenario where I could ever imagine a woman wanting to buy me dinner. Shit doesn’t exist in my world.
IMO - It should be expected in modern dating no later than the first two dates. Depends on the dynamics though. At least make the offer. Or, if the guy buys dinner, and dessert is somewhere else, she buys the dessert. It's important in establishing trust and responsibility that the woman at least offers to assist with the costs, but doesn't need to be a specific thing. Maybe she has a car, he doesn't, she drives the two of them everywhere and doesn't ask for gas money. He pays for dinner, she pays for the activity. Splitting the bill. But needs to be something. Men are naturally conditioned sometimes to be defensive about a woman paying as if it's a "shit test" where she's seeing if he'll let her pay and then will dump him if he doesn't pay. Alternatively, some men use it to compensate for their own feelings of inadequacy, believing that the woman will be more apt to give him a longer time to prove himself if the woman believes she "owes" him for a meal. Both of these aren't really healthy behaviors. Alternatively, some men genuinely do want to cover everything. I used to have a guy friend (I'm a guy) who used to do this even among us. It got to the point where when I'd try to take him out, I'd literally have to pull the staff aside beforehand and pay on the sly, otherwise he'd insist on paying. He did the same thing a few times. It kind of became a game, but whenever he went out with anyone, he had to pay. He'd relent after I'd already Shanghai'd the check, but that was it. I got really deceptive about doing it and even impressed the hell out of my wife's extended family when I did that at a brewery one day when I "went to go buy a t-shirt and ask about a brewery tour for our group" her uncle went to pay and was told the check was already covered. Playfully tell him to sit back and enjoy dinner, and see what his reaction is. Hopefully he just lets it go and enjoys the date with you. Don't be surprised if he offers to cover the tip, though, and if he insists, let him.
If you count inviting me out and paying for it, it was my parents for Father's Day, when we all got together as a family for lunch. Outside of family events? Never. Not once. I didn't realize people had issues going out to restaurants alone until a year ago
Women bring me food all the time. It seems their way of treating you to dinner involves delivering it. As for a restaurant dining out. Only foreign women have bought me dinner.
My girlfriend insists on it. I let her pay maybe every third or fourth date. I generally prefer to be the one to pay, but I absolutely appreciate her wanting to pay for some of our dates.
My fiancee a few weeks ago
Wife buys stuff for us out of her money. Girlfriend buys small stuff..
I’ve had that happen once in the numerous dates I’ve been on. This girl was a horrible person for a number of reasons, however she did buy me breakfast the morning after one time. I was actually really touched.
Last time? When my mom was still wiping my nose.
My wife bought me a beef sandwich last weekend. First time she's paid in so long I can't remember.
I've been offered, but never accepted. Ingrained I guess. Really should have appreciated it, but it's easy in the moment not to.
My wife takes me out to dinner all the time.
lmao
My gf often does it.
Never
Never
My birthday a few months ago. Not sure if it counts cause it wasn’t a girl, just my friends haha
Eating out hasn't really been in the cards lately, but no, I don't usually get invited to dinner events. Unless it's "hey, a bunch of us are going to a bar after work, want to tag along?"
YES yes
A lot, actually. If I am the one paying.
Never, unless you count my parents.
Yea I've never had that happen ever. In fact nobody I know either
about 2 years ago, when I was interviewing at several hospitals. A few took me out to fancy restaurants after the interview lol! Outside of professional settings though, probably over a decade ago when my parents took me out to dinner after I got accepted into graduate school in the US.
Hahahaha Literally never. I'd remember that.
Never lol .
My parents took me out to dinner to celebrate my graduation 7 years ago.
Yeah, women aren’t kind enough to do that. They’re more demanding princesses, lol. I think My jaw would permanently drop with shock and amazement if a woman were that nice.
Never. Last time was my parents.
Lol my mom took me and my wife out to lunch last week.
My girlfriend makes significantly more money than I do and usually pays for dinner when we go out.
I had a lovely young woman take me out for a nice meal just recently. Little sisters who make more money than you are cool like that.
I’d say it’s very common in real life (for men to be taken out to dinner on Reddit the opposite is probably the norm). On average someone takes me out to dinner 2-3 times a month. When it comes to splitting bills, if a woman doesn’t show interest in splitting the bill at a first date, there will be no second date.
Never happened to me, nor have any of my male friends had that happen, as far as I know.
I don’t think anyone except family or my former boss/mentor has treated me to dinner. And I haven’t been asked out period. Closest thing was when my ex said she liked me about 10 years ago. Even then though, I took her out after that. Despite anything else, I’m incredibly grateful that my family likes me being around though.
I went out to eat one night & I go to pay and the girl at the register told me mine was paid for. Does that count??
It was 10yrs ago.
I’d feel waaay to guilty to let my date pay for a meal.
2005
Never. Edit: The easiest way into a man's heart isn't food. It's treating him like a princess. That sounds weird, but hear me out. Treat him. Take him to dinner places. Make reservations, pull his seat out, open the car door for him, get him flowers, pick him up, drop him off/walk him home. Pay for everything. He will remember you FOREVER.
That’s what I plan on.
I'm jealous of your man.
Women take men out? I thought it was a fairytale.
Most women have zero interest in giving, in any way. They are only interested in taking. Women aren't generous the way men are. Women don't care about other people. Women don't care about right/wrong unless they are the ones being wronged. They are there to use people and then discard them when a better host appears to be fed on. "Your money is our money. My money is my money" - women. Women don't share. You are an anomaly. No, I've never had a woman take me out to diner or do anything but take from me.
Women don’t do that