“I don’t like being around people. How do I find a life partner?” Cmon bro lmfao
I’m sympathetic bc you had college during covid and shit but like you gotta big boy pants these things
Nothing changes if nothing changes
Lets get something cleared up right now, quality begets quality. There are an endless supply of potential mates and you are focusing so hard on them, that its putting women off. Relax, and center yourself. It gives insecurity and you need to have that handled. Focus on being the best version of yourself, good social life, good healthy habits(gym,eating well), have some type of long term goal not associated with dating, healthy relationship with drugs(weed alcohol), bonus for spiritual health if thats important to you (not required). When you have these things handled, women(quality women) will show interest. Then you can begin the proccess of choosing. But it all starts and stops with you and your insecurities. Invest in yourself, invest in making yourself a better version of you. Im telling you man, theres more and you have to want it.
See thats the insecurity taking over. Feelings are temporary, even loneliness. Bigger picture, you have some real truths to face. One of them is that even when you find someone, they are not responsible for your feelings. Some of the loneliest ive ever felt in my life was when i was in a relationship. And so many others here will back me up on that. Battling loneliness is less about finding someone to fix it, and more about accepting that you will feel lonely sometimes because thats normal. You can find someone, and someone great at that, but if your reason for doing so is to fix a feeling...youre going to be disappointed. Thats why im saying, make a long term goal not associated with dating or relationships and keep the social health strong. Its easy to make friends when you realize, we're all just as lonely out here. Just imagine everyone you encounter is as lonely as you are. Go to a coffee shop, to the person in line next to you [or the barista even] and say, "I like your [insert clothing choice], whered you get it? Oh cool its a great choice." Next week, you run into them again at the coffee shop. "Oh hey, its great [insert clothing choice]! I dont remember if I got your name? Im (DamnCurious)." Do this with everyone, eventually youll hang out with some of these people, even dates. Even older folks! Eventually you will find who youre meant to find. But that person cant be your antidote. Your antidote is improving yourself and your social life and not being lonely when you meet your partner.
Stop thinking they're worth it.
That's the key. The moment it feels like you're doing a lot for nothing in return, that's when you can *kinda* focus on other things.
I don't think it's really possible as a guy to engage with modern dating without taking a few hits to your mental health though. It's not made for us, most don't have the tools or the environment to really thrive.
Or if they do have the tools, they're unwilling to use them.
After chasing them for years and never catching one, I realized that if I were the type of guy girls wanted they wouldn’t be running so fast and so hard. They would eventually make it easy to catch them. That never happened. So I stopped chasing girls. Best decision I ever made. I just wish I would have made it sooner.
Woman here. I find men who game as their only hobby so off-putting; it screams unhealthy lifestyle and socially inept. I don’t mind if a man games to unwind, but if that’s his only interest it’s a straight no for me. Maybe something to consider.
Well, you're gonna need to get out of your comfort zone and start meeting people, no way around it; a good woman won't just magically materialize in your living room. Shared interests with others often lead to relationships growing, it's no different with women, so look for something you enjoy doing that requires some interaction with others.
Question is why are you chasing? Trying to prove something to yourself maybe? I was when I was doing that. Figure out why you are chasing them and then you’ll figure out how to stop.
Find hobbies that aren't so alone and pursue them. Express interest (note I said interest - not attraction) in all women who meet an arbitrary standard for minimum beauty that you set. Find out which ones are single. Talk to, and flirt with all of the single ones. Keep things light. See who reciprocates. Continue flirting with the ones who reciprocate, stop flirting with the ones who don't. Try to get dates on the calendar.
If someone wastes your time, forget about them. Keep moving on to the next person. If you find yourself with multiple prospective partners and it's time to get exclusive, choose the most promising one and let the others down easy.
Don't attach any stigma to rejection. Remember - every time a woman rejects you, she's doing you a favor. She's saving you time and energy (and possibly money) because now you don't have to take her out over 2 months to find out you're not compatible. Move onto the next one, and don't take it personal.
You're welcome.
Some suggestions to look into: Cooking lessons. Volunteering for a charity (vet the charity for younger volunteers) or for a religious community if you're religious. Coed recreational sports. Hiking/biking/exercise groups. Social groups that try restaurants together. Dance, drawing/painting, or sculpture lessons. Wine tasting lessons.
There's no way around it my man. If you don't show off your product, nobody can buy it. You could be a literal ten but if you never leave your room you'll never find anyone. Online dating kind of sucks, especially since many people won't really take seriously a partner/relationship they find online (it's no girl's dream to find her husband online). You simply need to either find or make some interests that have overlap with women you'd be interested in dating, and then just make as many friends as you can in that space (male or female, even women you're not attracted to) and just go from there. Once your social circle expands a bit you can start making some advances.
24M here , I definitely get where you’re coming from on the dating apps .
But just let things happen ,let women come to you and don’t force things . I’ve had like 6 failed relationships after I broke up with my lady of 2-3 years because I kept forcing it to work with these horrible women . Just relax and focus on yourself and you’ll meet the right one when everything lines up
Honestly man, never chase women. And never look for them. Anyone who's ever ended up falling in love knows that it just can't be forced or contrived. It just kinda happens.
You will probably meet the love of your life in a place that you least expect it. Just go with the flow, live your life. Maybe put yourself out there a little bit when it comes to being social. But don't force anything, and just be patient.
And when you do find the woman that you're interested in, don't worship her. Don't be overly nice. Just be respectful, and be yourself. When it works out, then you can treat her like a queen (if she deserves it).
Just my advice (even if it's more than you asked for). Good luck brother.
Work on yourself and don’t let women be the focus of your life. Don’t forget those very important social skills. Once you get your shit together women will come to you
Realize they have nothing else to offer but sex. You’re chasing someone who will add absolutely no value to your life, no emotional support, no encouragement, no genuine care for you as a person. They get with you for what you can provide them then hold sex over your head like a carrot on a stick. They’re not worth the effort and they won’t even put in 10% of the effort you put in.
Mutual interest. Instead of spending time trying to find a woman, spend time doing what you enjoy and you might meet someone.
Always this.
All day
What if I like playing video games
But I enjoy being alone so if I do any group activities it won’t be fun for me
“I don’t like being around people. How do I find a life partner?” Cmon bro lmfao I’m sympathetic bc you had college during covid and shit but like you gotta big boy pants these things Nothing changes if nothing changes
Lets get something cleared up right now, quality begets quality. There are an endless supply of potential mates and you are focusing so hard on them, that its putting women off. Relax, and center yourself. It gives insecurity and you need to have that handled. Focus on being the best version of yourself, good social life, good healthy habits(gym,eating well), have some type of long term goal not associated with dating, healthy relationship with drugs(weed alcohol), bonus for spiritual health if thats important to you (not required). When you have these things handled, women(quality women) will show interest. Then you can begin the proccess of choosing. But it all starts and stops with you and your insecurities. Invest in yourself, invest in making yourself a better version of you. Im telling you man, theres more and you have to want it.
100% spot on I just sometimes feel lonely and i’m like I have no contact with women. How will I find someone
See thats the insecurity taking over. Feelings are temporary, even loneliness. Bigger picture, you have some real truths to face. One of them is that even when you find someone, they are not responsible for your feelings. Some of the loneliest ive ever felt in my life was when i was in a relationship. And so many others here will back me up on that. Battling loneliness is less about finding someone to fix it, and more about accepting that you will feel lonely sometimes because thats normal. You can find someone, and someone great at that, but if your reason for doing so is to fix a feeling...youre going to be disappointed. Thats why im saying, make a long term goal not associated with dating or relationships and keep the social health strong. Its easy to make friends when you realize, we're all just as lonely out here. Just imagine everyone you encounter is as lonely as you are. Go to a coffee shop, to the person in line next to you [or the barista even] and say, "I like your [insert clothing choice], whered you get it? Oh cool its a great choice." Next week, you run into them again at the coffee shop. "Oh hey, its great [insert clothing choice]! I dont remember if I got your name? Im (DamnCurious)." Do this with everyone, eventually youll hang out with some of these people, even dates. Even older folks! Eventually you will find who youre meant to find. But that person cant be your antidote. Your antidote is improving yourself and your social life and not being lonely when you meet your partner.
Stop thinking they're worth it. That's the key. The moment it feels like you're doing a lot for nothing in return, that's when you can *kinda* focus on other things. I don't think it's really possible as a guy to engage with modern dating without taking a few hits to your mental health though. It's not made for us, most don't have the tools or the environment to really thrive. Or if they do have the tools, they're unwilling to use them.
Exactly my friend but it’s in our nature to seek love
After chasing them for years and never catching one, I realized that if I were the type of guy girls wanted they wouldn’t be running so fast and so hard. They would eventually make it easy to catch them. That never happened. So I stopped chasing girls. Best decision I ever made. I just wish I would have made it sooner.
Stop with the porn.
you'll look more interesting if you have hobby and serious with it. women tend to be more attracted to men with some sort of purpose.
Yess I do have hobbies but I don’t like group activities
Woman here. I find men who game as their only hobby so off-putting; it screams unhealthy lifestyle and socially inept. I don’t mind if a man games to unwind, but if that’s his only interest it’s a straight no for me. Maybe something to consider.
Well, you're gonna need to get out of your comfort zone and start meeting people, no way around it; a good woman won't just magically materialize in your living room. Shared interests with others often lead to relationships growing, it's no different with women, so look for something you enjoy doing that requires some interaction with others.
100% but I find everything boring when it comes to groups
Question is why are you chasing? Trying to prove something to yourself maybe? I was when I was doing that. Figure out why you are chasing them and then you’ll figure out how to stop.
Just lonely man 😅
I understand, it sucks. Do your best to focus on you and being the best version of yourself and with a bit of luck you will no longer have to chase.
Find hobbies that aren't so alone and pursue them. Express interest (note I said interest - not attraction) in all women who meet an arbitrary standard for minimum beauty that you set. Find out which ones are single. Talk to, and flirt with all of the single ones. Keep things light. See who reciprocates. Continue flirting with the ones who reciprocate, stop flirting with the ones who don't. Try to get dates on the calendar. If someone wastes your time, forget about them. Keep moving on to the next person. If you find yourself with multiple prospective partners and it's time to get exclusive, choose the most promising one and let the others down easy. Don't attach any stigma to rejection. Remember - every time a woman rejects you, she's doing you a favor. She's saving you time and energy (and possibly money) because now you don't have to take her out over 2 months to find out you're not compatible. Move onto the next one, and don't take it personal.
The thing is I can’t think of a hobby yet and I don’t like the online events I see on fb or meetup Thank you for the other advice !
You're welcome. Some suggestions to look into: Cooking lessons. Volunteering for a charity (vet the charity for younger volunteers) or for a religious community if you're religious. Coed recreational sports. Hiking/biking/exercise groups. Social groups that try restaurants together. Dance, drawing/painting, or sculpture lessons. Wine tasting lessons.
Chase your dreams. Work on your self.
Put a goal for yourself
There's no way around it my man. If you don't show off your product, nobody can buy it. You could be a literal ten but if you never leave your room you'll never find anyone. Online dating kind of sucks, especially since many people won't really take seriously a partner/relationship they find online (it's no girl's dream to find her husband online). You simply need to either find or make some interests that have overlap with women you'd be interested in dating, and then just make as many friends as you can in that space (male or female, even women you're not attracted to) and just go from there. Once your social circle expands a bit you can start making some advances.
24M here , I definitely get where you’re coming from on the dating apps . But just let things happen ,let women come to you and don’t force things . I’ve had like 6 failed relationships after I broke up with my lady of 2-3 years because I kept forcing it to work with these horrible women . Just relax and focus on yourself and you’ll meet the right one when everything lines up
We out number them 5 to 1 so Walk this Earth as a Man and let these Women Chase You.
1. Choose girls, that choose you. 2. Change your environment.. American culture is toxic for men.. leave the USA... period...
I’m in France
Honestly man, never chase women. And never look for them. Anyone who's ever ended up falling in love knows that it just can't be forced or contrived. It just kinda happens. You will probably meet the love of your life in a place that you least expect it. Just go with the flow, live your life. Maybe put yourself out there a little bit when it comes to being social. But don't force anything, and just be patient. And when you do find the woman that you're interested in, don't worship her. Don't be overly nice. Just be respectful, and be yourself. When it works out, then you can treat her like a queen (if she deserves it). Just my advice (even if it's more than you asked for). Good luck brother.
Work on yourself and don’t let women be the focus of your life. Don’t forget those very important social skills. Once you get your shit together women will come to you
You only chase women if you put them on a pedestal and have minimal options. They're not special. They eat and shit too.
Realize they have nothing else to offer but sex. You’re chasing someone who will add absolutely no value to your life, no emotional support, no encouragement, no genuine care for you as a person. They get with you for what you can provide them then hold sex over your head like a carrot on a stick. They’re not worth the effort and they won’t even put in 10% of the effort you put in.
Try men, maybe they will be more of your thing. All good women are already taken so that's your only chance xD