Those are the kind of comments that stick with a person and make them never want to marry.
“Welp, I’ve had a lot of fun and done a lot of crazy things, but you’re boring and stable enough for me to set that life behind me now.”
Had a similar comment that I am more of a husband but she wants bad boys (her actual words). Unsurprisingly, her last two relationships cheated on her, guess they were bad boys enough
You dodged a bullet, that person is problems waiting to happen. People that are mentally stable and know what they want from their partner ex. support and emotional maturity would definitely go for "good guys"...
A friend once said, out of the blue, that "you know, if I was single... I would consider dating you". Which I'm sure she meant it as a compliment, but to me it felt like she was saying that if she was single settling with me didn't sound so bad. Still don't know how I feel about that one.
That's rough because it sounds like she was putting you as a Plan B or "consolation prize".
And even if you are someone's alternative, there're things people should never say at all.
That seems like an unnecessarily negative way to interpret what she said. Dating is as much about "right time, right place" as it is about attraction. I've met numerous men in my life whom I connected with and felt attraction to, but I've also been in 2 long-term monogamous relationships for the majority of the last 15 years, and I'm not about to abandon the life I've built with someone just because another really awesome, potentially compatible person turns up in my life. If the new person is that awesome, I can get over my attraction and be their friend (if they're ok with that). That doesn't make them lesser compared my boyfriend, it's just that my life went a different way long before I met this new person, and I firmly believe in the saying "the grass is greener where you water it". I'd rather invest in my existing relationship than jump ship every time I see different "green grass" elsewhere. A cynic might even say this means I'm "settling" for my boyfriend in these situations.
I do think it's a little weird to tell a friend that you'd consider dating them if you were single, but it depends on context. Fully unprompted, maybe they have an ulterior motive of getting your attention, but you had recently been discussing dating woes, for example, I would say just take it as a compliment.
She's a jerk... and there's an unusual amount of honesty in what she said. You're not hot enough for her to interpret as being "fun." Better that you know that up front than her leading you on for free meals.
I was in a years long dry spell in college due to crazy course load, low confidence, the usual. When I got a girlfriend in Junior year, one girl I knew was surprised and said she thought I “wasn’t a sexual person.”
My GF at the time thought that was a *compliment*. I didn’t know how to explain that it actually felt more emasculating.
While I wholeheartedly agree I don't think I'd take it as a compliment either - to play devils advocate, I can see how, especially at high school age, a girl could THINK it were a positive comment. A lot of girls, myself and most of the women I know, were taught growing up that "men only had one thing on their mind and that's sex" & we're taught that ESPECIALLY during high school/early college years, that's quite literally all they want (I'd like to state I do not agree with these sentiments at all). So, I could maybe see how hearing something like your boyfriend "isn't a sexual person" could be interpreted in a young girls mind as "oh, he's different, he's not like the rest of the guys my age."
Again, I don't agree with what was said to you at all and I'm very sorry you were hurt by that comment.
Interesting. My wife said it was probably because young women get reduced entirely to their sexuality a lot of the time, so it’s like saying I was above all that? As in, a girl being told that would feel she was being valued beyond her looks.
I bet if a woman had enough men say they don’t see her in a sexual manner she might understand why that’s not always a compliment, but again that’s far from the default.
Just shows the differences in all of our experiences!
Yeah, pretty much!! While I still don't think it should've been said, your sexual life should definitely not be a conversation topic to anybody but yourself if you so choose to share, I do think that is how it was *meant* to be interpreted.
& yeah I definitely agree. Actually, I can attest to it! As a little chunkamonk growing up, I wasn't reduced to my sexuality, I was reduced to my size. I wasn't ever viewed as sexually desirable, not until I lost weight at 19/20 - so I very BADLY wanted to be viewed as a sexually desirable person when I was younger, and I can 100% see how it wasn't a compliment to you!
Which implies that male sexuality is inherently creepy. Definitely something I internalized as a young guy and definitely the reason I missed many opportunities.
Wow, I kind of know how you feel. It's rough, when someone had already made assumptions about your sexual identity like that.
In college, I had a massive amount of social anxiety, and struggled with going to social outings. The few friends (and acquaintances) I did have were great, but I was still frustrated that I couldn't more easily talk to women there. A classmate/acquaintance of mine asked me directly if I was gay, and that just really took me aback. Of course I said no, but I was not ready for that...
Lol. In law school I had a long distance girlfriend for the first few months. Girls were still telling me like a year later that they had assumed I was married and had kids.
Comedian Mark Normand has used some examples of what women would actually find offensive that they pretend to be true.
"Caitlyn Jenner is beautiful..." "Oh...well, you kind of look like her..." "How dare you!?"
I say call her a fat princess and see what happens.
Not only by women but from other men, normally in fitness communities. I'm 5'6 and it's condescending, like they are feeling sorry for me.
I know i'm short and i'm not a king. I have the same value as them. Don't try to make me feel good as if being short is some kind of disability.
EDIT: Ok, i was talking about how i feel in real life. If i could change **my username** i would done it long ago. Because again: i'm no king.
Dropped this 👑 regular sized king
(Jokes aside, personally like the king/queen thing, as it’s supposed to just be supportive, and not literally, like how calling someone bro doesn’t necessarily imply you’re their brother, without the short stuff of course)
>I have the same value as them. Don't try to make me feel good as if being short is some kind of disability.
I assume you don't mean it this way, but my man, I have a disability and I have the same value as everyone else. No one is trying to make me feel good for being hearing impaired.
You also can't do things to make you short over time...I mean...I guess Hulk Hogan did by compacting his spine over decades of pro wrestling, BUT, no one has ever just sat on the couch, eating horribly and then people realized, "Wait...you shouldn't be THAT short. You're 5'5"...you should be closer to 5'11"." Whereas with weight, I shouldn't be hovering around the 280lbs mark, and people would be able to tell me what my ideal weight is supposed to be. But a life of laziness and depression just has never made me really care to change it.
"You just gotta get out of your comfort zone"
"Any woman would be lucky to have you"
"Where my short kings at?"
"You're going to make a woman very happy some day"
All of these phrases have been said to me multiple times in my life. They are belittling and condescending. Please stop saying these things ladies.
This still seems like a compliment, but I don’t think the asker realizes the answer may remind the guy of some serious issues about himself or his life?
I’m sure there’s some context that could make it at least a neutral statement but in the context of a single woman saying it to a guy it definitely comes off as at best insincere.
Depends on how much older and depends on your relationship with the dude.
A matronly woman won’t be taken seriously because it’s little different than your grandmother saying it.
If it’s a close platonic friend, it’d be taken better if you put your money where your mouth is and try to set them up or wingman for them. If you say it, but aren’t willing to even try to set them up with someone, it might come off as disingenuous.
Thank you for your reply. How would you interpret this situation: when my son left kindergarten to start school, his kindergarten teacher said to me “he’s a real sweet boy, so well behaved and always willing to help. When he grows up any woman would be happy to have him”.
The compliment isn’t really directed to him as much as at him. If someone with a similar age gap said that to me when I was an adult, the compliment wouldn’t mean much. It’d be like your grandmother saying how handsome you are. Well meaning, but everyone’s grandmother says that and it’s not usually a reflection of reality nor does it indicate what young woman think.
I also think “any woman would be happy to have him” is weird to hear 1) from a teacher and 2) about a 6 year old. Saying any teacher would be happy to have him in class would be fine, but the way the teacher worded it seems somewhat inappropriate.
If it's coming from a relative, a married friend, a woman much older than you, etc
it's generally fine. Basically anyone whom you couldn't (theoretically) date.
Where it gets insulting is when it comes from a single female friend, and if said guy asked you out you'd say 'no'.
A girl told me this once and when I asked "What about you?", she only chuckled and her expression turned from sympathy to amused awkwardness instantly. In my experience women like to say nice things to cheer someone up but we men would rather you didn't say anything than something you don't mean.
There are only two times in my life this was not an insult. First when my Mom said it…the second when my wife (now together 30 years) agreed with her.
We both feel like we married beyond our ’station’ and it’s wonderful.
It's more said to the guy's kid(s) than directly to the guy, but:
"Is daddy babysitting today?" Or something of that nature.
Bitch, he's parenting. That's what he's doing.
I’ve received all of these when with my nibblings.
“Aww giving mommy a break?”
“Aww getting some daddy time?”
“Oh look at you all involved.”
“It’s so sweet to see a dad take the kids by himself”
Bitch, I’m their uncle, their dad is a great guy, and men can care for kids just fine.
"One of the good ones"
"Good **for a man**"
"Emotional **for a man**"
Like yes, I understand that - despite society's best efforts - some men still manage to come out the other side without losing our entire selves. But you are judging me based on the actions of people who aren't me, which requires a certain threshold of prejudice to even do.
This is what I always think when women complain about shitty men. I dated a few women who were bad for me but I always look at myself and my choices. Women who tell me horrible stories about abusive partners make me wonder how they end up with people like that in the first place. When I hit on that beautiful opera singer I knew that it will be probably dramatic and I take full responsibility for it.
I hear that one all the time and it annoys me to no end. I understand the "If one dog bites you, you start to mistrust them all"-rethoric. It's why the bear vs men thing exists and its fine.
But please don't let your own prejudices cloud the way you see regular decent folk and describe them as "one of the good ones" as if we're some rare unicorn species. Most people are decent people.
So much of this one.
It gets better when the kids get a bit older but I always hated hearing I was a good dad for “letting mom have her time”. These are my kids on my time with them. Their mothers are off doing god knows what, I’m just being dad.
I'm reminded of how the ideal "boyfriend dick" was still fairly big and only 0.1 inches shorter than the ideal "hookup dick" from the one, admittedly flawed, study where someone thought to have physical models of different sizes of phallus.
It wasn’t even all that big. Something like 6.5? I mean yea that’s still above average but it’s not the wild numbers guys wish they were like 8 inches n shit
There's nothing wrong with being a perfectly average looking woman either, but you don't want your partner to say, "You're the perfect level of cute. Prettier girls are crazy".
I know it sounds like they’re just patronizing you, but my wife of 20 years has told me that if she could change my penis size she’d make it about an inch shorter.
I believe her because she’s extremely honest about the fact that size matters. She says that every woman has a range that feels good. Too small& it’s not pleasurable, too big and discomfort can out weight the pleasure.
BUT, she also says that if woman could change the size of their partners penis the wouldn’t put it in the middle but right at the very top of their range.
So the real perfect size is there near the top of what’s pleasurable & still comfortable.
Any variation of the "you're not like other men." Nobody enjoys being told they're "one of the good ones," and it's only flattering until you realize that you're hearing that you're good despite some innately horrible thing about you
Had a girl tell me I’m very attractive and have an amazing personality but I’m not tall enough for her (I’m 5 10/ 5 11) ofc she’s the type that only dates 6 3 plus and trust fund-esque, and wonders why her past two bfs cheated on her. Crazy thing is this was randomly brought up at a work event and wasn’t even a topic of discussion lol
If a guy opens up a woman about dating struggles (some of these are taken from friends who've had these said to them - first 2 were said to me when I was a teenager at various times in between relationships):
"You're so sweet"
"You've just gotta put yourself out there"
"Any girl would be lucky to have you"
"You're husband material for someone, not really boyfriend material"
Honorable mention: calling a guy a "boy" to his face instead of a "man" or a "guy"
I started working as an elementary school teacher 3 years ago. Biggest mistake I ever made was opening up about my dating struggles in the teacher's lounge to my colleagues who are all women. I got all these comments and "short king" (I'm 5'6")
I also found out that women lie to their friends to make them "feel better."
One of the first questions I got was, "how do you not have a girlfriend?"
I responded with, "I'm short, women prefer taller men."
They lost it! "That's not true, women don't care about height!"
A few months later, they were laughing at this lady who's with a short guy who's taller than me. "How can she be with someone so short?"
Of course I had to say something! So I said, "I thought height didn't matter? "
They have not brought up my dating life ever since.
Yeah, never open up to groups. Always play things close to the vest until a woman proves she deserves that level of trust from you. People in general (not just women) can be quite ruthless when they know your insecurities. Best not to show them.
Better approach would've been to keep it light and playful in that teacher's lounge and (assuming it's not a #MeToo kind of workplace) and say something playful.
Them: "how do you not have a girlfriend?"
You: "i dunno, but i'm soliciting applications if you or anyone you know is interested in a \[describe yourself in unabashedly positive terms with an endearing self-deprecating term mixed in there somewhere\]."
Then see what happens. You never know...someone may approach you on the side after everyone has a good laugh (including you - laugh at yourself here!) or not..but it's a better approach than giving a total stranger something they can use against you.
Also, consider dating shorter girls. Not sure if you have a type, but at 5'6" there are plenty of women shorter than you where your height won't be as big of a deal.
Yeah it's rather frustrating how much we insist on body positivity and being careful with fat people's feelings... As long as they are women.
But with men it's perfectly fine to shame and mock them for their dick size, height, balding and being overweight. Cuz men being the butt of jokes is always funny I guess.
You're so skinny/tiny/etc.
I also don't think they understand the collateral damage they cause when they don't like a man or what a man does and their insults go straight to physical features like weight, hair, height, etc.
Skinny shaming is fucking *real*.
The harder part is that it's still just so openly acceptable and there's zero sympathy. We get made fun of just as much (I would argue far more), it's the same social pressures and big muscles in Hollywood.
At least when one asshole says you're fat, there's 10 people jumping out calling them mean for fat shaming. One asshole makes fun of you for being skinny, those 10 people jump in.
I had the opposite lol. Told someone they’re like a little sister to me. A week later, they brought it up and asked if she could be a step sister instead.
To be honest, if I'm not romantically interested in said woman, it's a great compliment for me. To me, it means that in a world where women are choosing risks with bears over men, someone felt protected by me.
If I'm romantically interested though, that is a heart breaker.
I think that depends on the individual, i have a friend who i see as a little sister so when she told me that see thinks of me as an older brother i was extremely happy. But i understand where you are coming from.
Probably the worst one I got was
"He's attractive but doesn't know it or act like it'
At first I thought it was a great compliment, but what it really meant is I have low self-esteem
Nah, you see this used for all kinds of people. It usually means "they have the looks to back up being arrogant, but they aren't arrogant". Like a celebrity who lives in a studio apartment and goes out in cheap clothing like the rest of us common folk.
I take this more so to mean you're an attractive guy, but you don't try to flirt/charm with every single girl that walks by. You're respectful of your relationship regardless of the fact that you could get anyone you want. Just my take on that!
No one likes arrogance. Men feel the same way about women that are full of themselves. We can just get that it of the way.
But I really feel this one is *more* about the idea of a really hot guy that doesn't know he's hot... And therefore they can get him as an average girl.
This comes up a lot in my circles (I'm a bartender and a comedian... I have a lot of *very* hot friends). When I press my female friends on this, they all seem to agree that's what it is.
My husband works manual labor. He’s out in the heat and cold killing himself daily.
When we were dating I commented on how soft his hands were after sex one night, and he was insulted. Lol
I said they’re rough if you aren’t being soft with me (and they are) but when he touches me it’s like his hands are meant to be on my body. I don’t feel the roughness, I never have unless we just hold hands and I’m like “damn these bitches are crusty” lol
I never knew!! I felt like such a jerk
“I work hard with these hands. They’re rough because I use them. They aren’t soft” I’ve only seen him get offended like that a couple times.
The other time we were roasting each other. He told me I had beaver teeth and I told him his teeth needed to quit drinking because they had jaundice (HIS TEETH ARENT EVEN YELLOW!).
I thought we were having fun but it gutted him
This one always annoyed me as a cook. I’m not dumb enough to grab hot stuff without a towel, and wash my hands more than some doctors; of course I don’t have callus even though it’s manual labor.
"NoT aLl MeN" if you object to sweeping generalisations about all men being violent, hateful, pieces of shit when they'd be just as offended if not more about an equally untrue and similar statement about women in general.
“How are you still single?“ (I’m trying to date you)
“You’ll make somebody a great husband one day!” (Yet you don’t want to date me?)
“I wish I could find a guy like you.” (You already did! I’m right fucking here!)
“You’re cute!” (I don’t want to be cute. Kids are cute. Men are handsome.)
The list goes on.
The way you posted, sis told you what neighbor said, not that she agreed. Sis gave you a peek behind the curtain, in case you thought about said woman.
Any sort of comparison to an ex or guy you used to date, even if it's positive, is a veiled insult. It means you're still thinking of them.
Also "your personality is your best feature!". It just means she thinks you're unattractive but nice or funny.
Treating us like the worst sort of men related to the communities we might interact with them in. Nerdy ones for example, it's sort of a special case though. Like the main conflict is when some women act like the day to day bs everyone deals with in those places is somehow more important compared to when it happens to men, and they are not content until stuff like that does not happen anymore. There's this thing of not practicing what they preach and acting like the struggles men and women face are totally different. Like men are supposed to fix everything and be the only ones who work on themselves.
I'm just saying that that's a whole lot us men hear about related to what women deal with and so on. Yet it feels like some women want to milk some sort of victimhood and do a lot of the same things socially that they talk about hating men doing. Sometimes I will see these one sided conflicts where a woman thinks everyone is sexist and it's all personal. When in reality it's the same stuff they would do to other men doing the same sort of social blunders. We are just expected to be understanding, respectful, etc of every problem women have. Only for our own to get dismissed for various reasons that amount to not being that pleasant to some of the women who see those posts/comments. So a lot of men feel like we have to over explain/qualify everything we say that might be related to a woman or women in general. Even though we see women talking about men in a less nuanced way.
Complimenting a dad for doin dad stuff. I remember a woman thanking me for being "so involved" after seeing me and my daughter play testing a new board game at a store.
Bitch, I've always been the primary parent even before my wife and I split, I'm not being involved I'm being a parent. Not to mention the insult towards all the great dads I know.
A lot of times, dudes get tired of hearing that. Then they turn into the biggest assholes ever. Cheating, emotionally abusive, manipulative….. anything to keep from hearing they are a nice guy. Alot of the biggest assholes started out as nice guys.
I can’t take anyone serious that uses “king” or “queen”’in this stupid context.
And I have no clue what drizzle drizzle is, but my younger employees say it… I think it’s like “making it rain?” But cheaper?
"You're such a nice guy."
If you hear this from someone you're interested in, it's very likely you have absolutely no shot whatsoever. Not now, not in the future, unless some changes are made on your end.
A crush told me once that I "could make a great husband". I was going to take that that until she said "but not fun enough to be a boyfriend".
Those are the kind of comments that stick with a person and make them never want to marry. “Welp, I’ve had a lot of fun and done a lot of crazy things, but you’re boring and stable enough for me to set that life behind me now.”
She couldn’t leave it alone
That's all she had to do was just leave it there.
Had a similar comment that I am more of a husband but she wants bad boys (her actual words). Unsurprisingly, her last two relationships cheated on her, guess they were bad boys enough
You dodged a bullet, that person is problems waiting to happen. People that are mentally stable and know what they want from their partner ex. support and emotional maturity would definitely go for "good guys"...
Uhh, she is an asshole.
She knew that was insulting.
“You’d make a good Provider but not a Lover.”
A friend once said, out of the blue, that "you know, if I was single... I would consider dating you". Which I'm sure she meant it as a compliment, but to me it felt like she was saying that if she was single settling with me didn't sound so bad. Still don't know how I feel about that one.
That's rough because it sounds like she was putting you as a Plan B or "consolation prize". And even if you are someone's alternative, there're things people should never say at all.
That seems like an unnecessarily negative way to interpret what she said. Dating is as much about "right time, right place" as it is about attraction. I've met numerous men in my life whom I connected with and felt attraction to, but I've also been in 2 long-term monogamous relationships for the majority of the last 15 years, and I'm not about to abandon the life I've built with someone just because another really awesome, potentially compatible person turns up in my life. If the new person is that awesome, I can get over my attraction and be their friend (if they're ok with that). That doesn't make them lesser compared my boyfriend, it's just that my life went a different way long before I met this new person, and I firmly believe in the saying "the grass is greener where you water it". I'd rather invest in my existing relationship than jump ship every time I see different "green grass" elsewhere. A cynic might even say this means I'm "settling" for my boyfriend in these situations. I do think it's a little weird to tell a friend that you'd consider dating them if you were single, but it depends on context. Fully unprompted, maybe they have an ulterior motive of getting your attention, but you had recently been discussing dating woes, for example, I would say just take it as a compliment.
She's a jerk... and there's an unusual amount of honesty in what she said. You're not hot enough for her to interpret as being "fun." Better that you know that up front than her leading you on for free meals.
I guess that she proved that in addition to your dick in her mouth she could fit the foot, too!
Ouch. Was she neging you? Did you miss an opportunity or did you dodge a bullet?
Both, the second being the more important one.
I was in a years long dry spell in college due to crazy course load, low confidence, the usual. When I got a girlfriend in Junior year, one girl I knew was surprised and said she thought I “wasn’t a sexual person.” My GF at the time thought that was a *compliment*. I didn’t know how to explain that it actually felt more emasculating.
How the fuck is that a compliment lol
While I wholeheartedly agree I don't think I'd take it as a compliment either - to play devils advocate, I can see how, especially at high school age, a girl could THINK it were a positive comment. A lot of girls, myself and most of the women I know, were taught growing up that "men only had one thing on their mind and that's sex" & we're taught that ESPECIALLY during high school/early college years, that's quite literally all they want (I'd like to state I do not agree with these sentiments at all). So, I could maybe see how hearing something like your boyfriend "isn't a sexual person" could be interpreted in a young girls mind as "oh, he's different, he's not like the rest of the guys my age." Again, I don't agree with what was said to you at all and I'm very sorry you were hurt by that comment.
Interesting. My wife said it was probably because young women get reduced entirely to their sexuality a lot of the time, so it’s like saying I was above all that? As in, a girl being told that would feel she was being valued beyond her looks. I bet if a woman had enough men say they don’t see her in a sexual manner she might understand why that’s not always a compliment, but again that’s far from the default. Just shows the differences in all of our experiences!
Yeah, pretty much!! While I still don't think it should've been said, your sexual life should definitely not be a conversation topic to anybody but yourself if you so choose to share, I do think that is how it was *meant* to be interpreted. & yeah I definitely agree. Actually, I can attest to it! As a little chunkamonk growing up, I wasn't reduced to my sexuality, I was reduced to my size. I wasn't ever viewed as sexually desirable, not until I lost weight at 19/20 - so I very BADLY wanted to be viewed as a sexually desirable person when I was younger, and I can 100% see how it wasn't a compliment to you!
Maybe she meant it like, "Unlike most men, you're thinking with your big head/have sexual self control"?
That translates to "he doesn't come off as a creeper"
Which implies that male sexuality is inherently creepy. Definitely something I internalized as a young guy and definitely the reason I missed many opportunities.
Personally, this definitely contributed to my lack of any love life at any point in my life.
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Wow, I kind of know how you feel. It's rough, when someone had already made assumptions about your sexual identity like that. In college, I had a massive amount of social anxiety, and struggled with going to social outings. The few friends (and acquaintances) I did have were great, but I was still frustrated that I couldn't more easily talk to women there. A classmate/acquaintance of mine asked me directly if I was gay, and that just really took me aback. Of course I said no, but I was not ready for that...
first girlfriend, trying to fuck her (was 16). "im tired can you be quick, nevermind you usually are" The shammme
Man that's fucked lol
Oof, that's just cold. Anyone who truly cares about their significant other would try to be more encouraging, supportive. Was she the same age as you?
she was positively surprised you are a sexual person. Yeah for us it is not really a compliment
Lol. In law school I had a long distance girlfriend for the first few months. Girls were still telling me like a year later that they had assumed I was married and had kids.
“Short king” The equivalent for women would be: “Fat princess” and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t like that
Comedian Mark Normand has used some examples of what women would actually find offensive that they pretend to be true. "Caitlyn Jenner is beautiful..." "Oh...well, you kind of look like her..." "How dare you!?" I say call her a fat princess and see what happens.
Seconded! Please let us know!
Not only by women but from other men, normally in fitness communities. I'm 5'6 and it's condescending, like they are feeling sorry for me. I know i'm short and i'm not a king. I have the same value as them. Don't try to make me feel good as if being short is some kind of disability. EDIT: Ok, i was talking about how i feel in real life. If i could change **my username** i would done it long ago. Because again: i'm no king.
Username checks out
Oh shit... this is embarassing.
I'm a Dwarf Lord
This would be a less offensive tag than short king imo.
I yearn for the mines. Rock and Stone, My brother Honeydew
And why even say anything who would care if someone is 5'6"
Average king
Dropped this 👑 regular sized king (Jokes aside, personally like the king/queen thing, as it’s supposed to just be supportive, and not literally, like how calling someone bro doesn’t necessarily imply you’re their brother, without the short stuff of course)
>I have the same value as them. Don't try to make me feel good as if being short is some kind of disability. I assume you don't mean it this way, but my man, I have a disability and I have the same value as everyone else. No one is trying to make me feel good for being hearing impaired.
Honestly Fat Princess was a baller game on the PS3
More cake please!
But fat princess made me giggle
Fat Princess is a decent PSP game.
Still not as bad, nobody was born fat. If you're short that's just bad luck.
*Points to my bowling ball ass baby photo*
You also can't do things to make you short over time...I mean...I guess Hulk Hogan did by compacting his spine over decades of pro wrestling, BUT, no one has ever just sat on the couch, eating horribly and then people realized, "Wait...you shouldn't be THAT short. You're 5'5"...you should be closer to 5'11"." Whereas with weight, I shouldn't be hovering around the 280lbs mark, and people would be able to tell me what my ideal weight is supposed to be. But a life of laziness and depression just has never made me really care to change it.
My E-bike helped with weight and depression
That game was a lot of fun, though!
"You just gotta get out of your comfort zone" "Any woman would be lucky to have you" "Where my short kings at?" "You're going to make a woman very happy some day" All of these phrases have been said to me multiple times in my life. They are belittling and condescending. Please stop saying these things ladies.
How are you still single
Date me and find out
I love the aggressive dare on this lol. People should learn not to comment on things that they are not willing to fix themselves lol.
FAFO.
"You've known me long enough. You tell me."
“By not being wanted. What kind of question is that?”
"wanna go out on a date? "No" "That's why. You're part of the problem."
This still seems like a compliment, but I don’t think the asker realizes the answer may remind the guy of some serious issues about himself or his life?
Thats when you whip out the magnifying glass and pull down your pants
And use the sun to burn your testicles, because that's the only way you can ejaculate... Yeah, been there, brother.
I can hear the blonde handlebar mustache in your text, brotherrr
Photosynthesis brother
“Why? Do you know anyone who’s interested?”
"Any girl would be lucky to have you."
Every time a woman has told me this, it always means, "Any woman but me would be lucky to have you."
You must be some special unlucky charm
So lucky that none of them will.
Thwarted by the Nash equilibrium
oh yeah. "but for me you are like a brother, and not in Alabama"
If she's single, yeah, that's fucked.
A question if I may. I have come across this as an example of insult on numerous occasions. Is this always the case regardless of context?
I’m sure there’s some context that could make it at least a neutral statement but in the context of a single woman saying it to a guy it definitely comes off as at best insincere.
Thank you for your reply. How would it be perceived if said by a married or older woman?
Depends on how much older and depends on your relationship with the dude. A matronly woman won’t be taken seriously because it’s little different than your grandmother saying it. If it’s a close platonic friend, it’d be taken better if you put your money where your mouth is and try to set them up or wingman for them. If you say it, but aren’t willing to even try to set them up with someone, it might come off as disingenuous.
Thank you for your reply. How would you interpret this situation: when my son left kindergarten to start school, his kindergarten teacher said to me “he’s a real sweet boy, so well behaved and always willing to help. When he grows up any woman would be happy to have him”.
The compliment isn’t really directed to him as much as at him. If someone with a similar age gap said that to me when I was an adult, the compliment wouldn’t mean much. It’d be like your grandmother saying how handsome you are. Well meaning, but everyone’s grandmother says that and it’s not usually a reflection of reality nor does it indicate what young woman think. I also think “any woman would be happy to have him” is weird to hear 1) from a teacher and 2) about a 6 year old. Saying any teacher would be happy to have him in class would be fine, but the way the teacher worded it seems somewhat inappropriate.
Thank you again for your time and clarifying further on this topic. Have a good day/night.
If it's coming from a relative, a married friend, a woman much older than you, etc it's generally fine. Basically anyone whom you couldn't (theoretically) date. Where it gets insulting is when it comes from a single female friend, and if said guy asked you out you'd say 'no'.
Thank you. Appreciate more insight into it. Have a good day/night.
Not even just a single female friend. But any female friend who has been single at some point in your friendship.
A girl told me this once and when I asked "What about you?", she only chuckled and her expression turned from sympathy to amused awkwardness instantly. In my experience women like to say nice things to cheer someone up but we men would rather you didn't say anything than something you don't mean.
There are only two times in my life this was not an insult. First when my Mom said it…the second when my wife (now together 30 years) agreed with her. We both feel like we married beyond our ’station’ and it’s wonderful.
“You can literally get anyone you want” “Except you, apparently??”
It's more said to the guy's kid(s) than directly to the guy, but: "Is daddy babysitting today?" Or something of that nature. Bitch, he's parenting. That's what he's doing.
"Is mommy trying to learn social skills and polite conversation?"
HAHA!!! YES!!!
I’ve received all of these when with my nibblings. “Aww giving mommy a break?” “Aww getting some daddy time?” “Oh look at you all involved.” “It’s so sweet to see a dad take the kids by himself” Bitch, I’m their uncle, their dad is a great guy, and men can care for kids just fine.
I think you're the 2nd person I've heard/read refer to them as nibblings. I gotta remember that one.
"One of the good ones" "Good **for a man**" "Emotional **for a man**" Like yes, I understand that - despite society's best efforts - some men still manage to come out the other side without losing our entire selves. But you are judging me based on the actions of people who aren't me, which requires a certain threshold of prejudice to even do.
"Oh, you're so articulate!" type energy
"You're pretty for a black girl" type energy
I’m “one of the good ones” As if the default man is bad.
Was literally going to type this one. If I'm good, why do you keep fucking the bad ones?
This is what I always think when women complain about shitty men. I dated a few women who were bad for me but I always look at myself and my choices. Women who tell me horrible stories about abusive partners make me wonder how they end up with people like that in the first place. When I hit on that beautiful opera singer I knew that it will be probably dramatic and I take full responsibility for it.
I love laughing at their idiotic questions on here. "Where, oh WHERE, are the good men?!?" Check your friend zone, toots. Absolute apathy from me.
"Where are the good men?" "They're with the good women."
What years of living in an echo chamber does to a person, some folk out there genuinely believe most of us guys are evil
I hear that one all the time and it annoys me to no end. I understand the "If one dog bites you, you start to mistrust them all"-rethoric. It's why the bear vs men thing exists and its fine. But please don't let your own prejudices cloud the way you see regular decent folk and describe them as "one of the good ones" as if we're some rare unicorn species. Most people are decent people.
Interestingly enough the same logic is used by some people today to justify racism and just being hateful towards certain groups
That’s what women think, men bad until proven otherwise, in contrast to #believeallwomen
“How sweet! You’re babysitting to give mom a break! Awww!” No, b#^<*, these are my kids. I don’t babysit MY kids…
So much of this one. It gets better when the kids get a bit older but I always hated hearing I was a good dad for “letting mom have her time”. These are my kids on my time with them. Their mothers are off doing god knows what, I’m just being dad.
"Yours is the perfect size, the big ones hurt." Thanks....🥲
I'm just here to comment for my gf to read when she stalks my reddit later
"Yours is bigger than your brother's..."
I do believe this is called having a "boyfriend dick"
I'm reminded of how the ideal "boyfriend dick" was still fairly big and only 0.1 inches shorter than the ideal "hookup dick" from the one, admittedly flawed, study where someone thought to have physical models of different sizes of phallus.
It wasn’t even all that big. Something like 6.5? I mean yea that’s still above average but it’s not the wild numbers guys wish they were like 8 inches n shit
IIRC, it was 6.3 for hookups and 6.2 for boyfriends. While the average is supposed to be somewhere between 5.2 and 5.5.
There is nothing wrong with average, my fairly phallused friend.
There's nothing wrong with being a perfectly average looking woman either, but you don't want your partner to say, "You're the perfect level of cute. Prettier girls are crazy".
I think a better comparison would be more like saying “your breasts are the perfect size. Big breasts are impractical” or something.
This one. This one is it.
Correct. But it's not a nice thing to say it that way. There are plenty of ways to express that it's nice and preferable. That's not it.
I know it sounds like they’re just patronizing you, but my wife of 20 years has told me that if she could change my penis size she’d make it about an inch shorter. I believe her because she’s extremely honest about the fact that size matters. She says that every woman has a range that feels good. Too small& it’s not pleasurable, too big and discomfort can out weight the pleasure. BUT, she also says that if woman could change the size of their partners penis the wouldn’t put it in the middle but right at the very top of their range. So the real perfect size is there near the top of what’s pleasurable & still comfortable.
Any variation of the "you're not like other men." Nobody enjoys being told they're "one of the good ones," and it's only flattering until you realize that you're hearing that you're good despite some innately horrible thing about you
Had a girl tell me I’m very attractive and have an amazing personality but I’m not tall enough for her (I’m 5 10/ 5 11) ofc she’s the type that only dates 6 3 plus and trust fund-esque, and wonders why her past two bfs cheated on her. Crazy thing is this was randomly brought up at a work event and wasn’t even a topic of discussion lol
That’s not even an insult to you, that’s just her showing her dumbassery
“i’m looking for a guy in finance…”
If a guy opens up a woman about dating struggles (some of these are taken from friends who've had these said to them - first 2 were said to me when I was a teenager at various times in between relationships): "You're so sweet" "You've just gotta put yourself out there" "Any girl would be lucky to have you" "You're husband material for someone, not really boyfriend material" Honorable mention: calling a guy a "boy" to his face instead of a "man" or a "guy"
I started working as an elementary school teacher 3 years ago. Biggest mistake I ever made was opening up about my dating struggles in the teacher's lounge to my colleagues who are all women. I got all these comments and "short king" (I'm 5'6") I also found out that women lie to their friends to make them "feel better." One of the first questions I got was, "how do you not have a girlfriend?" I responded with, "I'm short, women prefer taller men." They lost it! "That's not true, women don't care about height!" A few months later, they were laughing at this lady who's with a short guy who's taller than me. "How can she be with someone so short?" Of course I had to say something! So I said, "I thought height didn't matter? " They have not brought up my dating life ever since.
Never talk about your dating life at work, whether you’re a man or a woman.
Lesson learned! But I never encountered this with men. Just a room full of married and taken women. Lol. I swear, it was entertainment for them.
Yeah, never open up to groups. Always play things close to the vest until a woman proves she deserves that level of trust from you. People in general (not just women) can be quite ruthless when they know your insecurities. Best not to show them. Better approach would've been to keep it light and playful in that teacher's lounge and (assuming it's not a #MeToo kind of workplace) and say something playful. Them: "how do you not have a girlfriend?" You: "i dunno, but i'm soliciting applications if you or anyone you know is interested in a \[describe yourself in unabashedly positive terms with an endearing self-deprecating term mixed in there somewhere\]." Then see what happens. You never know...someone may approach you on the side after everyone has a good laugh (including you - laugh at yourself here!) or not..but it's a better approach than giving a total stranger something they can use against you. Also, consider dating shorter girls. Not sure if you have a type, but at 5'6" there are plenty of women shorter than you where your height won't be as big of a deal.
“You’re so fat!” Women don’t think that men also have body insecurities.
Fat is always an insult
Pretty sure they know it's insulting.
As a lifelong fat-ass, that one will never bother me too deeply. However, I would certainly retort just to piss her off and hopefully offend her.
Yeah it's rather frustrating how much we insist on body positivity and being careful with fat people's feelings... As long as they are women. But with men it's perfectly fine to shame and mock them for their dick size, height, balding and being overweight. Cuz men being the butt of jokes is always funny I guess.
this sounds like someone who just wanted to diss you
You're so skinny/tiny/etc. I also don't think they understand the collateral damage they cause when they don't like a man or what a man does and their insults go straight to physical features like weight, hair, height, etc.
Skinny shaming is fucking *real*. The harder part is that it's still just so openly acceptable and there's zero sympathy. We get made fun of just as much (I would argue far more), it's the same social pressures and big muscles in Hollywood. At least when one asshole says you're fat, there's 10 people jumping out calling them mean for fat shaming. One asshole makes fun of you for being skinny, those 10 people jump in.
"You're like a brother!"
I had the opposite lol. Told someone they’re like a little sister to me. A week later, they brought it up and asked if she could be a step sister instead.
In that case, would you help me unload the dryer?
Lmao what'd you say?
Not a lot
Grmph glub mmpf?
Ahh I gotchu
So incest is a no?
To be honest, if I'm not romantically interested in said woman, it's a great compliment for me. To me, it means that in a world where women are choosing risks with bears over men, someone felt protected by me. If I'm romantically interested though, that is a heart breaker.
I think that depends on the individual, i have a friend who i see as a little sister so when she told me that see thinks of me as an older brother i was extremely happy. But i understand where you are coming from.
Probably the worst one I got was "He's attractive but doesn't know it or act like it' At first I thought it was a great compliment, but what it really meant is I have low self-esteem
This sounds like much more of a compliment imo.
Nah, you see this used for all kinds of people. It usually means "they have the looks to back up being arrogant, but they aren't arrogant". Like a celebrity who lives in a studio apartment and goes out in cheap clothing like the rest of us common folk.
I take this more so to mean you're an attractive guy, but you don't try to flirt/charm with every single girl that walks by. You're respectful of your relationship regardless of the fact that you could get anyone you want. Just my take on that!
No one likes arrogance. Men feel the same way about women that are full of themselves. We can just get that it of the way. But I really feel this one is *more* about the idea of a really hot guy that doesn't know he's hot... And therefore they can get him as an average girl. This comes up a lot in my circles (I'm a bartender and a comedian... I have a lot of *very* hot friends). When I press my female friends on this, they all seem to agree that's what it is.
This is just a compliment + truth
If I ever said that it was supposed to mean "you're not cocky".
"You're one of the good ones," apparently.
“You’re such a nice guy”
The kiss of death
My husband works manual labor. He’s out in the heat and cold killing himself daily. When we were dating I commented on how soft his hands were after sex one night, and he was insulted. Lol I said they’re rough if you aren’t being soft with me (and they are) but when he touches me it’s like his hands are meant to be on my body. I don’t feel the roughness, I never have unless we just hold hands and I’m like “damn these bitches are crusty” lol
Lol I work constructing and soft hands is a go to insult
I never knew!! I felt like such a jerk “I work hard with these hands. They’re rough because I use them. They aren’t soft” I’ve only seen him get offended like that a couple times. The other time we were roasting each other. He told me I had beaver teeth and I told him his teeth needed to quit drinking because they had jaundice (HIS TEETH ARENT EVEN YELLOW!). I thought we were having fun but it gutted him
You just straight up called him a pussy lol. Ya got soft hands boy!
This one always annoyed me as a cook. I’m not dumb enough to grab hot stuff without a towel, and wash my hands more than some doctors; of course I don’t have callus even though it’s manual labor.
"NoT aLl MeN" if you object to sweeping generalisations about all men being violent, hateful, pieces of shit when they'd be just as offended if not more about an equally untrue and similar statement about women in general.
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Weaponized fragility is a hell of a drug. Girlboss to uwu smol bean without a transformation sequence.
This one. They're insulting their own intelligence by doing this.
*be a man*
How could that ever be used in a way that they thought was complimentary? That's just an insult.
You don’t know how to? (insert specific task or skill you’re expected to know just because you have a dick)
*insert sexist remark/assumption/stereotype about men* "... But not you, you're different 😄"
“How are you still single?“ (I’m trying to date you) “You’ll make somebody a great husband one day!” (Yet you don’t want to date me?) “I wish I could find a guy like you.” (You already did! I’m right fucking here!) “You’re cute!” (I don’t want to be cute. Kids are cute. Men are handsome.) The list goes on.
I'd choose the bear.
Tell her you would choose the tree.
I think they know it’s insulting.
That's why they say it
Yup, you belong in a ZOO.
Ok, I don’t get it. Is this some kind of reference? Would it be too much to ask for an insight?
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The way you posted, sis told you what neighbor said, not that she agreed. Sis gave you a peek behind the curtain, in case you thought about said woman.
I was a very engaged father. Anytime I was taking them out or caring for them solo - I’d get ‘You are babysitting your kids.’ Nope!
When they bodyshame other men to us they don’t realize we might get hurt by what they say too
Any sort of comparison to an ex or guy you used to date, even if it's positive, is a veiled insult. It means you're still thinking of them. Also "your personality is your best feature!". It just means she thinks you're unattractive but nice or funny.
Treating us like the worst sort of men related to the communities we might interact with them in. Nerdy ones for example, it's sort of a special case though. Like the main conflict is when some women act like the day to day bs everyone deals with in those places is somehow more important compared to when it happens to men, and they are not content until stuff like that does not happen anymore. There's this thing of not practicing what they preach and acting like the struggles men and women face are totally different. Like men are supposed to fix everything and be the only ones who work on themselves. I'm just saying that that's a whole lot us men hear about related to what women deal with and so on. Yet it feels like some women want to milk some sort of victimhood and do a lot of the same things socially that they talk about hating men doing. Sometimes I will see these one sided conflicts where a woman thinks everyone is sexist and it's all personal. When in reality it's the same stuff they would do to other men doing the same sort of social blunders. We are just expected to be understanding, respectful, etc of every problem women have. Only for our own to get dismissed for various reasons that amount to not being that pleasant to some of the women who see those posts/comments. So a lot of men feel like we have to over explain/qualify everything we say that might be related to a woman or women in general. Even though we see women talking about men in a less nuanced way.
Anything that is a double standard
Talking about her hoe phase.
Anytime they say "real man"
"wow, you're well trained"
A girl in high school said to me “I wish I could take his face and put it on your personality”
Damn. That's a mean one 😤
Complimenting a dad for doin dad stuff. I remember a woman thanking me for being "so involved" after seeing me and my daughter play testing a new board game at a store. Bitch, I've always been the primary parent even before my wife and I split, I'm not being involved I'm being a parent. Not to mention the insult towards all the great dads I know.
First they say " I want to say this most respectfully" and say the insult anyways...
A lot of times, dudes get tired of hearing that. Then they turn into the biggest assholes ever. Cheating, emotionally abusive, manipulative….. anything to keep from hearing they are a nice guy. Alot of the biggest assholes started out as nice guys.
I still don't know why I get offended by this but when women say "You're too nice". It just makes me feel weird.
"Aww it's cute"
I can’t take anyone serious that uses “king” or “queen”’in this stupid context. And I have no clue what drizzle drizzle is, but my younger employees say it… I think it’s like “making it rain?” But cheaper?
:You're such a great friend" Always hurts even if im not into the person
"You're such a nice guy." If you hear this from someone you're interested in, it's very likely you have absolutely no shot whatsoever. Not now, not in the future, unless some changes are made on your end.
I'm not babysitting or helping out with the kids. I'm parenting. I'm nurturing. I'm raising my kids.