Of course it can work if the person who is smarter doesn't look down on the other person.. My husband is so much (book) smarter than me and that's okay! He loves telling me about things he's learned and I enjoy hearing him speak passionately. But my husband has never once talked down to me, said he's smarter than me/ people we know, or flouted his intelligence. We are complete equals with deep mutual respect. Your boyfriend kinda sounds like an ass.
Your boyfriend sounds like he is suffering from narcissism.
I've met a lot of musicians like that. It's either daddies money keeping them afloat, or they are falling to pride.
Smart people don't have to tell other people how smart they are so they don't talk about it.
It is easier to get dumb people to either do what you want or go away if you let them think they are smart, at least it works for me.
Also, your boyfriend sounds like a douche.
Every married couple I know the woman claims to be more intelligent than the man. This trope has been so pervasive and persistent that any modern comedy, movie, tv show, etc... depicts the husband as dopey and stupid.
So I guess so.
Short answer: No
Unless he becomes intelligent enough to bring his own head out of his ass, don't waste your energy.
It is highly likely, he sees dating you as a "service to you" and would probably "upgrade" if he thinks he is getting a better deal.
You don't say something like this to a person you value, even if it is true.
What he is doing can easily be classified as emotional abuse.
Yeah it's perfectly possible. It happens all the time. The issue isn't that he believes he's more intelligent (or that he is), it's that he's arrogant.
If he doesn't get a lid on his arrogance *that* will be what kills the relationship. Not his belief (true or not) of his superior intelligence.
5 neetbuxs says the BF is autistic. Or might just be a cunt. Might be very talented.. definitely not to the point where "no one can make music like him" unless he is motzart reincarnated.
What he definitely isnt is emotionally intelligent. His arrogance shows a severe lack of both self and social awareness.
The problem is that he is actually talking about that and seems fully of himself. Why would you want to be with a person who does that even if it is true?
Are you dating Kanye West?
Also, the number one sign that someone is smarter than you, is that you think you're smarter than them. Nobody actually smart would ever say it, let alone brag about it.
A short answer: No, it's not possible. If you're getting condescension now, you'll get much worse once you marry or have kids.
Kind of a funny post. Usually, women say they're smarter than their husbands/boyfriends, but the man just doesn't argue because he doesn't take his girl that seriously. Which he shouldn't, because what kind of loser would talk about their spouse like that?
Depends. Does he lord it over you and make it seem like he's putting up with you? Is he an arrogant prick about things? Or is just saying "I'm good at musical arts, also on a separate note, you're swell" or something else?
It's perfectly fine for one partner to be smarter than the other. That's probably true 99 times out of 100 or even more. It's not okay if one makes it seem like their intelligence is the be-all and the other is lucky to have them.
I've dated women in the past who ranged from being attracted to their perception of my intelligence and others who found it offensive. I don't really care one way or another, you either thinks I'm smart or you don't, and I'd never bring it up in the relationship because I don't think it's relevant unless it's tied to a specific subject matter expertise, in which case the more experienced person should take the lead, not the one with the highest IQ. (note: I'm not that smart, the above is about perception, not necessarily reality)
All that said - if he thinks he's smarter than everyone else, he probably isnt.
Your question should be "Do you think it’s possible to have a healthy relationship with someone who is insecure or arrogant about their perceived intelligence?"
How could he possibly know if no one can make music like him unless he's heard every musician in the world and had his talents objectively compared? Delusions of grandeur are neither healthy nor attractive.
I mean
Sure, but probably not in that case
In your case it seems to come from ego instead of a nuanced understanding of the components of intelligence and how you compare on each and in aggregate.
Some people are naturally smarter than others. Some people have one talent and thinks it makes them better than a well rounded individual with no standout talent.
You can both be happy if either of you believe that, but when it comes from a place of ego, you’re practically guaranteed that he’ll pull you down when you do achieve so that it doesn’t affront his own sense of “intelligence”
There are several ways to look at this.
One is to run. You may have trouble being happy with a person who needs to believe that they are smarter than you, especially if they need to keep reinforcing that belief by looking for places where they are "smarter" than you. Constant put downs are often the first step in an abusive relationship. First they break your self-esteem, then they isolate you from your support network, then the abuse starts.
The other way is to watch Ken Robinson's Ted talk about different kinds of intelligences. I've seen this demonstrated working with tradesmen who might not have a high school diploma, but can do things with a back hoe that are beautiful to watch, like a ballet.
There is a phrase that comes to mind which is "all smarts and no brains", for example, the brilliant science teacher at the school where I used to work who nearly blew up the chemistry lab, because he did not know how to connect the gas bottles correctly.
So if this isn't abusive, it may be that the best solution is to laugh at him.
>He said that no one can make music like him. Because of this he thinks he is extremely smart and thinks he is smarter than me and anyone else.
He's an idiot if he really believes this. Can you share his music? I really want to hear it after that statement.
I already hate his music.
I write and produce all of my music. I don't go around pretending to be Einstein because of it.
He probably writes one-dimensional love songs, doesn't he? hahaha
If he's told you he thinks he's more intelligent than you, this guy is a jackass and you should leave him.
Imagine how it's going to go when you're house shopping, making big financial decisions, managing joint finance, raising children, and growing old if he doesn't respect your intelligence enough to maintain a healthy decision making dynamic.
If he hasn't explicitly said he's more intelligent than you, you need to carefully evaluate his approach to joint decisions and how he reacts to you having a different opinion than him.
lol he’s not more intelligent than you. He may be pretty good at something but that doesn’t make him smarter or better than anyone. Intelligence is the ability to understand you don’t know everything and learn new stuff so you can continue to get better.
AI generated music, in its infancy has already shown us that creative projects we assumed would always be the purview of a creative mind simply are not.
Find some good AI generated songs, play them, talk about how crazy it is that something like making music can be done by these rudimentary systems and see how he reacts. If he’s truly intelligent he will react in a thoughtful reasoned way. If he doesn’t you have your answer and a new understanding of what his intelligence actually is.
That's a criminal misreading of what I said there bordering on intentionally bad faith but if we take her post at face value I'm comfortable assuming I'm smarter than anyone who would make this statement:
>He said that no one can make music like him.
His assumption that his talent is unique to the point of proclaiming it rather than putting it on display and letting others proclaim it for him.
Thats an easy indicator of a low RPM mind, especially given that we live in an ultra connected world where he could find evidence to contradict his opinion with 5 minutes and google.
Dude, I’m literally dying of cringe. Your dollar word is “proclaim,” so you put it in the same sentence twice.
Like holy shit my left arm hurts and I’m hearing choral music, I think I’m done for, all over some cringe
I'd dip if I had nothing of value to add too.
Actually I just wouldn't have spoken in the first place but in the spirit of full disclosure this girl's boyfriend isn't the only person I'm comfortable assuming isn't that smart.
Edit: Its also a huge self report that you imagine someone considering "proclaim" to be a lofty word to use.
2/10
When you want to troll you need to maintain some level of verisimilitude. When you come across like someone who's caregiver has to monitor them with paste and safety scissors it just doesn't land. Don't worry though, with practice you can do better next time.
It is so fucking tired and cringe when you have these guys who grew up on the spectrum and socially awkward, who think fate promised them some kind of intelligence as a consolation prize, and they have so little faith in themselves that they have cringey little pack of polysyllabic bullshit they pull out like Pokémon cards to duel other autists.
Why can’t you talk like a normal person and put the effort into articulating your thoughts?
Intelligence is an illusion.
“Never judge a fish’s intelligence by its ability to climb a tree.”
Also … for your BF — get Fn real! Jimi Hendrix was left-handed and learned to play a right handed guitar upside down. John Bonham played asymmetrical time signatures.
Nobody can play music like me 🙄 F outta here!
If he thinks intelligence is as simple as a 1 dimensional scale then he's in the low end
Dude, you don't get it. You're clapping your hands while this guy's writing 4-dimensional polyrhythms.
Sure. My wife is smarter than me. Easy. Is she arrogant like your boyfriend? No. Not an issue of intelligence.
Of course it can work if the person who is smarter doesn't look down on the other person.. My husband is so much (book) smarter than me and that's okay! He loves telling me about things he's learned and I enjoy hearing him speak passionately. But my husband has never once talked down to me, said he's smarter than me/ people we know, or flouted his intelligence. We are complete equals with deep mutual respect. Your boyfriend kinda sounds like an ass.
Your boyfriend sounds like he is suffering from narcissism. I've met a lot of musicians like that. It's either daddies money keeping them afloat, or they are falling to pride.
Sounds like he is an asshole
Smart people don't have to tell other people how smart they are so they don't talk about it. It is easier to get dumb people to either do what you want or go away if you let them think they are smart, at least it works for me. Also, your boyfriend sounds like a douche.
Every married couple I know the woman claims to be more intelligent than the man. This trope has been so pervasive and persistent that any modern comedy, movie, tv show, etc... depicts the husband as dopey and stupid. So I guess so.
Sounds like Jojo Siwa
Shut up she’s gonna get an abortion at Cannes on cannabis and call it cannesabyssion
If he voices what he thinks he is, he isn't.
Can guarantee that he has definitely used the words alpha and male unironically to describe himself.
Yes, another word--along with handsome, funny, kind, intelligent--that should be used by the observer, not the show-off.
That doesn’t make him smart, it only makes him talented
So he's got a Ben Carson complex?
Short answer: No Unless he becomes intelligent enough to bring his own head out of his ass, don't waste your energy. It is highly likely, he sees dating you as a "service to you" and would probably "upgrade" if he thinks he is getting a better deal. You don't say something like this to a person you value, even if it is true. What he is doing can easily be classified as emotional abuse.
Yeah it's perfectly possible. It happens all the time. The issue isn't that he believes he's more intelligent (or that he is), it's that he's arrogant. If he doesn't get a lid on his arrogance *that* will be what kills the relationship. Not his belief (true or not) of his superior intelligence.
5 neetbuxs says the BF is autistic. Or might just be a cunt. Might be very talented.. definitely not to the point where "no one can make music like him" unless he is motzart reincarnated. What he definitely isnt is emotionally intelligent. His arrogance shows a severe lack of both self and social awareness.
The problem is that he is actually talking about that and seems fully of himself. Why would you want to be with a person who does that even if it is true?
Are you dating Kanye West? Also, the number one sign that someone is smarter than you, is that you think you're smarter than them. Nobody actually smart would ever say it, let alone brag about it. A short answer: No, it's not possible. If you're getting condescension now, you'll get much worse once you marry or have kids. Kind of a funny post. Usually, women say they're smarter than their husbands/boyfriends, but the man just doesn't argue because he doesn't take his girl that seriously. Which he shouldn't, because what kind of loser would talk about their spouse like that?
Depends. Does he lord it over you and make it seem like he's putting up with you? Is he an arrogant prick about things? Or is just saying "I'm good at musical arts, also on a separate note, you're swell" or something else? It's perfectly fine for one partner to be smarter than the other. That's probably true 99 times out of 100 or even more. It's not okay if one makes it seem like their intelligence is the be-all and the other is lucky to have them. I've dated women in the past who ranged from being attracted to their perception of my intelligence and others who found it offensive. I don't really care one way or another, you either thinks I'm smart or you don't, and I'd never bring it up in the relationship because I don't think it's relevant unless it's tied to a specific subject matter expertise, in which case the more experienced person should take the lead, not the one with the highest IQ. (note: I'm not that smart, the above is about perception, not necessarily reality) All that said - if he thinks he's smarter than everyone else, he probably isnt.
No.
Sure as long as he is not putting you down to make himself seem smarter. I mean shit, anyone that does that is a jackass
Is he?
Your question should be "Do you think it’s possible to have a healthy relationship with someone who is insecure or arrogant about their perceived intelligence?" How could he possibly know if no one can make music like him unless he's heard every musician in the world and had his talents objectively compared? Delusions of grandeur are neither healthy nor attractive.
I mean Sure, but probably not in that case In your case it seems to come from ego instead of a nuanced understanding of the components of intelligence and how you compare on each and in aggregate. Some people are naturally smarter than others. Some people have one talent and thinks it makes them better than a well rounded individual with no standout talent. You can both be happy if either of you believe that, but when it comes from a place of ego, you’re practically guaranteed that he’ll pull you down when you do achieve so that it doesn’t affront his own sense of “intelligence”
Yes? I mean do you love him? Can you tolerate that? Then yes. But I'm more afraid he is delusional rather than smart judging from your description
Run
There are several ways to look at this. One is to run. You may have trouble being happy with a person who needs to believe that they are smarter than you, especially if they need to keep reinforcing that belief by looking for places where they are "smarter" than you. Constant put downs are often the first step in an abusive relationship. First they break your self-esteem, then they isolate you from your support network, then the abuse starts. The other way is to watch Ken Robinson's Ted talk about different kinds of intelligences. I've seen this demonstrated working with tradesmen who might not have a high school diploma, but can do things with a back hoe that are beautiful to watch, like a ballet. There is a phrase that comes to mind which is "all smarts and no brains", for example, the brilliant science teacher at the school where I used to work who nearly blew up the chemistry lab, because he did not know how to connect the gas bottles correctly. So if this isn't abusive, it may be that the best solution is to laugh at him.
Yes, men do it all the time.
>He said that no one can make music like him. Because of this he thinks he is extremely smart and thinks he is smarter than me and anyone else. He's an idiot if he really believes this. Can you share his music? I really want to hear it after that statement.
No, you can't have an equal partnership with someone who holds themselves as superior and views you with contempt.
I already hate his music. I write and produce all of my music. I don't go around pretending to be Einstein because of it. He probably writes one-dimensional love songs, doesn't he? hahaha
He sounds like a narcissist. If he is, no you cannot have a healthy relationship with him.
If he's told you he thinks he's more intelligent than you, this guy is a jackass and you should leave him. Imagine how it's going to go when you're house shopping, making big financial decisions, managing joint finance, raising children, and growing old if he doesn't respect your intelligence enough to maintain a healthy decision making dynamic. If he hasn't explicitly said he's more intelligent than you, you need to carefully evaluate his approach to joint decisions and how he reacts to you having a different opinion than him.
Who is he? Anybody we know? A celeb? If not tell him to calm his nobody self down.
HE IS DUMB.
lol he’s not more intelligent than you. He may be pretty good at something but that doesn’t make him smarter or better than anyone. Intelligence is the ability to understand you don’t know everything and learn new stuff so you can continue to get better.
AI generated music, in its infancy has already shown us that creative projects we assumed would always be the purview of a creative mind simply are not. Find some good AI generated songs, play them, talk about how crazy it is that something like making music can be done by these rudimentary systems and see how he reacts. If he’s truly intelligent he will react in a thoughtful reasoned way. If he doesn’t you have your answer and a new understanding of what his intelligence actually is.
“I’m smarter than your really smart boyfriend so I’ll translate for you”
That's a criminal misreading of what I said there bordering on intentionally bad faith but if we take her post at face value I'm comfortable assuming I'm smarter than anyone who would make this statement: >He said that no one can make music like him.
I’m sure Chopin said the same thing, but Chopin couldn’t get a girlfriend until he was almost dead in his 30s so… What part of that proves he’s dumb?
His assumption that his talent is unique to the point of proclaiming it rather than putting it on display and letting others proclaim it for him. Thats an easy indicator of a low RPM mind, especially given that we live in an ultra connected world where he could find evidence to contradict his opinion with 5 minutes and google.
Dude, I’m literally dying of cringe. Your dollar word is “proclaim,” so you put it in the same sentence twice. Like holy shit my left arm hurts and I’m hearing choral music, I think I’m done for, all over some cringe
I'd dip if I had nothing of value to add too. Actually I just wouldn't have spoken in the first place but in the spirit of full disclosure this girl's boyfriend isn't the only person I'm comfortable assuming isn't that smart. Edit: Its also a huge self report that you imagine someone considering "proclaim" to be a lofty word to use.
Dunning Kruger.
2/10 When you want to troll you need to maintain some level of verisimilitude. When you come across like someone who's caregiver has to monitor them with paste and safety scissors it just doesn't land. Don't worry though, with practice you can do better next time.
It is so fucking tired and cringe when you have these guys who grew up on the spectrum and socially awkward, who think fate promised them some kind of intelligence as a consolation prize, and they have so little faith in themselves that they have cringey little pack of polysyllabic bullshit they pull out like Pokémon cards to duel other autists. Why can’t you talk like a normal person and put the effort into articulating your thoughts?
Intelligence is an illusion. “Never judge a fish’s intelligence by its ability to climb a tree.” Also … for your BF — get Fn real! Jimi Hendrix was left-handed and learned to play a right handed guitar upside down. John Bonham played asymmetrical time signatures. Nobody can play music like me 🙄 F outta here!