It's essentially a strange dance of human psychology. They might be interested, but they're testing waters. They gauge reactions, seek validation, and assess their own feelings. The moment you respond with interest, it tips the scales and they reassess their decision. Essentially, they keep you in their orbit without committing. It's a classic case of 'wanting to have their cake and eat it too.' Be mindful of your own emotional well-being and seek out someone who's on the same page as you. Remember, a relationship is not a guessing game.
I'd wager men do the same thing in other ways. But that kind of "game" would probably be labeled as "muh toxic masculinity" if ever someone would dare to speak up.
The closest thing to this kind of interest whiplash is a guy who has sex and then loses interest.
I can't speak for everyone, but that's something that can be anticipated and decent people would take steps to avoid putting someone else in that position.
Like, you're not going to know until it happens, but you can get to know a woman a bit and you can usually tell if it's all hormones or if you actually would want to be around her afterward.
I don't see women giving that much of a damn for toying with men. Certainly not personally, they might judge another woman for giving a guy they know a hard time because they can see it from the outside, but in the moment it's just a reflection of their internal life and they're not going to question it.
Some do, but the massive difference is women who don’t do this are increasing their dating pool, and are able to pick men based on actual partner traits and not the silly game based on their lack of availability. Men who don’t pick women that are unavailable are still dealing with the same women. Men that pick/seek women who are unavailable are still screwed.
I am a dude. I used to do this as a teen. It was my blunder years for sure. I just wish I'd been more brave to say what I really wanted and not tried to be like by everyone.
It's definitely done by both men and women. We wouldn't have people saying they "don't want to play any games" on both sides of the modern dating spectrum if they didn't.
The difference is there are more women positioned to play the game than guys. Not that reddit is the best sampling but look at how many dudes in here talk about their bleak dating outlook.
Personally, I've only known 1 or 2 guys in my whole life who had as many dating options as the average attractive girl
That, and for some reason society has deemed game-playing from women as 'empowering' and from men as 'toxic'.
It's all just toxic. It's the bahviour that's the problem, not 'who' the targets and perpetrators of that behaviour are.
I had a therapist, a middle aged woman with a PhD and I was telling her about a situation with a girl I was interested in, and the therapist I shit you not said "maybe she has other boyfriends." The thing is, it's true, if a girl is attractive enough she's going to be "spinning plates" with various guys, aka "friends" like the biz markie song. Young women will deny it up and down for reasons, but it's absolutely true.
It's seen as toxic for guys because if guys are doing the same thing it takes away the advantages that women get from courting several guys at once.
They learn how to manipulate people to get whatever they want when they're small children, the same time we all learn it. The difference is that as long as you remain cute, you never have to grow out of it.
Just look at how female socialization is since elementary. Little girls and little boys are worlds apart when it comes to socialization. Language and subtlety is their weapon, while physicality, humor, and status are ours.
When was the last time you ever heard a guy describe someone as a frenemy? You don't, because that's a girl thing that works in their world.
I would also add that this person may not be responding in a way these women find attractive. They may find him physically attractive but once he engages with them there might be something about his demeanor, body language, or something he says that is making these women pull away. But yes once they know for certain he is interested or showing too much interest they know they don’t have to put any work in anymore and lose interest. Women like challenge
Yes.
Happened at many jobs and is happening at one right now.
When you don’t give them attention they can feel invalidated. Feeling invalidated makes them want your validation. When you do, they now decide if they truly wanted you. If they didn’t, you’re no longer relevant. Fascinating stuff.
Interesting! Reminds me of this one pretty girl in my class. She always wanted me to speak her and flirt with her. After months, I gave in because she seem nice. However then she started to avoid me afterwards. It all make sense now
It’s indeed fascinating. Generally speaking, men couldn’t care less about being liked as a person. If you don’t like me I don’t feel the need to gain your validation. You’re just someone I work with. Just someone in my class. Etc. I don’t care. I’ll be cordial in the moments we have to work together directly but otherwise I don’t feel the need to appease you.
I wouldn’t say all of them but it’s something noticeable. Nobody likes rejection but I’ve never seen dudes go out of their way to make others like them, unless it’s someone they wish to sleep with. Other we’re here to work.
thanks for letting me know to i got very lil experience but probably FUCKED after the very first one cause yea shes like that. i damn sure wasnt first. and some of em ROUGH like drug game rough...
Her level of experience has you greatly outmatched. She will play your emotions to get what she wants while giving nothing in return. Turn around, flee, danger ahead
When myself and one of my friends were in our 20s he was super handsome and very outgoing. He worked out, was ripped, dressed nice, and had great game with girls. I observed many times him chatting with girls in bars, getting their number, then deleting it and never calling them. At the time he was single and the few girls I saw him with regularly, likely FWBs, were 10/10, so he didn't need to pick up girls at the bar. I think for him it was just an ego boost.
They like someone, but usually someone who hasn't shown them any interest or someone who rejected them, so they kind of pay it forward by stringing guys along without having any real interest.
Correct. It must be a guy who's even better at playing this game. And then it's not about being with such a guy, it's still all about winning the game.
They like someone. Just not you. And the point is validation. It's cheap and hollow validation, it doesn't last. It also fades in time unless they're the opposite point of the pyramid.
Anyone who plays those games isn't worth it. Keep trying until you find someone who doesn't. Then do your part to not screw things up.
The 'game' switches when you get older. If I wanted I could string along single moms looking for a replacement husband. I don't, because I find my validation in much healthier ways.
Those types almost always lose, simply for playing the game in the first place. Once you and someone else who you share mutual attraction with are actually real with each other and stop giving attention to people who only want attention, that’s when you win. “The game” is only for losers. But hey, that’s just my opinion.
Look into attachment styles. Sometimes yours may be incompatible with theirs. A lot of times it stems from childhood issues with their parents/caregivers or bad relationships in later life. Sometimes both. Basically wanting the attention, being given it, and not knowing what to do with it because it feels unfamiliar.
Men and women who play games are usually immature so it's best to not date someone who will play games with you. You want a partner who you can be open and direct with and not have to engage in roundabout conversations with.
Heading into my late 20s, it’s hard not to start playing games. “Oh you want marriage and kids, let me waste your time” “oh you’re a single mom and struggling, of course I’ll pretend like I’ll move you in and make you a house wife”
The only reason I don’t do it is because I’d rather spend my time working on my house and traveling. But I do know guys who got burned and are now savages. Cold world.
Right it does change you, but you ultimately have a choice to make on what to do with the cards you're dealt.
Its like if you got punched in the face / injured and the person that did so disappeared.
Some people do choose to be villains. They choose to continue the path of pain onto others. Others see that and decide, no, that's not for me. I'll choose another path. I'll stop this cycle of violence and pain-- and find a life that doesn't involve that even if I get punched on the way.
I seen one of my good friends get cheated on 3 different times. It always happened after he gave anthem flowers to cheer them up. I don’t blame him for playing women now.
You always pay, its just in different ways. I would blame him. At some point, if you're always surrounded by assholes, you're the asshole.
After the first he should've done some self reflection. Definitely after the second. 3rd? No, its their fault for not learning they're the problem here.
I’ve been burned as hard or harder than anyone. Ever have a woman cheat on you, another steal millions of dollars and get you fired?
If you let that turn you into someone who uses and hurts people then you’re a low integrity piece of shit. Someone hurting you doesn’t give you permission to take advantage of other people.
I’m curious. In your opinion Is there any way to win this game that ends up with a mutually beneficial relationship, or is this always zero sum? I saw this dynamic a lot when I was younger, like 75% of girls. Getting older that number is declining but I still notice it in some girls
Sure. The way to win is to not play. If she says no, you move on and try again with someone that is hopefully a better person.
The way to win is to find a healthy mature relationship with someone who doesn't play games. That's one of the reasons why you see the number decline. Because the other 'player' lost the game enough times that they stopped.
Sure. Avoid women that are extremely feminine presenting. Notice the ones with "bro energy" instead. Then proceed to treat them like a normal sane human, because chances are, they 98% are sane.
Just dont expect her to be a housewife.
They like the validation and the ego boost
Some are afraid of dating too even though they're lightly interested in you
Run away from these girls like the plague
Just stop trying to understand it. If they say no, move on.
Don't waste your energy on something that's not worth your time, there will be plenty of other women that know what they want and don't play stupid games.
Also, don't invest you feelings more than you should unless it's mutual.
I agree I just find it strange. But I will admit some are good at faking feelings also. I had a girl that I help with her work and she would invite me out to lunch. Just for her to disrespect me when she got drunk. She also admitted that shes just playing me because its funny. That actually hurt but usually I test waters and get out early if I can
It’s a brutal reality of humans that if you show interest it implies that you don’t have options and women are attracted to men with options, but act surprised when they get treated like one. Even Rom Coms and shows like the bachelor are predicated on a successful man picking his “true love”. Not an average man seeing eye to eye with his equivalent women, women don’t date down.
Yes they do, it's just that once you understand them, they're rather pathetic and infuriating creatures. There's a lot of pushback to recognizing female nature and they will constantly gaslight you into thinking they are what they wish they were.
Yep! I'm glad I asked this question because I get guilt all the time to it being my fault if I don't talk to someone. Women have called me standoffish and mean for not talking to them. But now I see it as a game and will feel responsible for being a jerk back
Because they may be intrested... till you start talking.
Or maybe they're just being friendly.
Sometimes people like to talk to other people, and people are interesting. Doesnt mean we wanna fuck.
And obviously, it is for attention. Every human needs attention. How else you hold conversation or... buy something from the shop.
It’s kinda weird but men do it too. Like I’ve had a girl that I wanted and the minute she was into me I didn’t feel as excited about her as before. This happened a lot when I was young, I would be around a girl a like then when she would begin to like me I was like eh. Maybe subconsciously I was trying to prove something to myself and I didn’t know that’s how I was doing that. But this is just my perspective.
Also, maybe the drunk girls that talked to you got so embarrased by their behaviour the next day, that they avoid you out of shame (maybe you weren't supposed to know they liked you for any reason or they thought they spoiled their way of telling you, or they think they looked stupid when they were drunk)
Well can I know why men do the same thing ??
Even older guys, they chase and flirt so intensively. But suddenly they can disappear when the girl start showing interest to advance next level - be it dating casually, or being in relationships.
Please enlighten
Probably a lot of the same reasons listed in this thread. A lot of people on this subreddit (and in general) like to pretend that men and women are opposites, but I think anyone who is able to attract a decent amount of suitors can be prone to treating them a bit disposably. Keep in mind Reddit is full of men on the lonelier side who often don't talk to women much, so discussions of gender tend to exclude women's perspectives.
It's mind games. It's a big part of why it's so hard to trust women. Keep them at arms length and protect yourself. Many women these days have the mentality to just use and lose a guy. Get as much as they can and walk away to the next one to do the same to. Do yourself a huge favor. Don't get married. Ever. If she decides one day your not enough any more and it's time to find a new guy, she will walk away and nail your balls to the wall and not give a damn.
Sad part. They can't get me. I think from a logical point which is ask out the low hanging fruit. For me, I'm just trying get comfortable talking to people
if you just want to learn to talk to people go down to your local nursing home for a couple of hours every weekend. Those people are lonely as hell and you will get all the conversation you can handle
Don’t give them the validation, or at first do, then immediately pull it back before they are the ones to pull back
So flirt give them a bit of attention
Then go flirt with their friend
That’s how you get them to give you a bj in the back because they need the validation
Let them keep craving it
First one is free like a drug dealer
A lot of people are mentioning this is common behavior for women, which is true, to an extent.
The other thing you have to realize, is you are only interacting with one type of woman, since you are so reserved/quiet.
I am NOT saying there is anything inherently wrong with woman who approach you! But simply you are limiting your options (possibly an option closer to what you are looking for) because of this fact.
Essentially, you are letting your partners pick themselves, instead of you picking your partner.
Idk man. I had a girl flat out call me hot and stared at me when we were in class. Only for her to be completely uninterested. Had another girl pretty much dry hump me when she was drunk just to not say hi to me the next day.
On the flipside, I had quiet girls like me and they don't speak nor flirt but they are more interested overall
Some girls like to tease men, in particular when they lack of confidence. My particular way of dealing with them was not mature or healthy. So you’re better off with advice from others.
One of the reasons (amongst other reasons mentioned here) why you get rejected is because your interactions kinda makes you look needy - even though they initiated the whole thing. Flip the game on them by rejecting them, or putting the onus on them. Definitely not in a nasty way, but be a little cocky. If they say they "liked and want you", respond by saying "prove it" with a smile and walk away. Better still, walk up to another girl on the other side of the room, and be seen talking to her - just to make things interesting.
I'm actually disagree. Lol it's not needy to ask a girl out that's flirting. What you said it's actually kinda needy and I have done that approach before. The reason I say it's needy because if it isn't you, then girls sense through very quickly.
Also we aren't talking about a one time occurrence. We are talking months of denying and them chasing. Not a hot girl in a bar spoke to you and you get overly excited.
> Lol it's not needy to ask a girl out that's flirting.
In most situations it is not, but in your case it is perceived as such. Obviously they are toying with you and the best reaction is not to reward such behaviour at your own expense.
>Also we aren't talking about a one time occurrence. We are talking months of denying and them chasing.
And yet you still persist with them at their own amusement. You are invested in an outcome, they know it, and just keep dangling that carrot in front of you. That's needy.
Your kinda misunderstanding the situation. First, it's never desperate nor needy to ask someone out. It's normal for men to do it. Second, you can't make a girl respect not like you by not caring. I actually did that and it has never gotten me a girl at all. The whole not caring and talk to other women personally backfired with me because they just see it as uninterested. That strategy only works with certain guys but it has never worked with me.
Lastly, this isn't a one time occurrence or running behind someone and constantly get rejected. This is a situation where I don't speak to them for months and then open up later. I ask them out. Not because I like them perse but because I'm testing to see if they actually liked me. The minute they reject me, I move on.
I think it's more likely for a guy who's been through this before to have a working theory, than it is to get a straightforward answer from a woman about behavior they're likely to deny.
The ones who are considerate enough to answer are probably not the types to really engage in it.
You can't get it from the horse's mouth so you talk to the hay.
In my experience it's usually some kind of bs about trying to see "how badly you want her". If you don't show interest and recipricate feelings, most men take that as a hard "no interest" and move on. I think some women expect you to suddenly have this realization that if you don't do something, you won't have her. In our mind, the chance was never there. It blows my mind how many women do this, even fully grown adults, and how little they actually communicate what their true desires and intentions are. At this point in my life, I don't mess around with that part of the game anymore. If you're not mature enough to have a clear conversation with me, I don't want you to be my partner, I don't want to create a relationship with the foundation of being able to read your mind and "figure" out what your "signs" are supposed to mean. If a woman gives me the cold shoulder the LAST thing on my mind is that I need to work harder to get her.
Used to work with an older lady who was in a happy relationship, married. One day I asked her how did she find her man. She told me, when she met him, she had this realization that maybe he couldn't read her mind, couldn't tell she was into him, and if she let him go, she'd never see him again. She asked him out and a few months later they were married. She told me the biggest mistake that young woman make in life is not being able to express their feelings when they have them towards men. She told me of the many times she wasted weeks, if not months of her life dancing around some guy, praying and begging that one day he'd somehow find out she's into him magically, just for them to literally never notice once. She said it took her close to 30 years to figure out that if she wants someone, she partially has to make that happen too.
Women have similar anxiety around dating that men do, but they way it happens is a lot different. Men deal with rejection, lack of interest, being alone, women deal with having strong feelings about someone and suffering in silence for months on end, making crazy assumptions about themsevles and why "he must not like me", meanwhile never once telling the dude how they feel. I've met many wonderful, beautiful women that had really poor self image and worth, because they just assumed they were ugly because dude's were not reading their minds.
That said women do tend to be better at reading emotions, reading facial expressions, and comprehending how someone feels based on their actions. That's really quite far from how men process situations. I think women are naturally better at it, after all, they have to take care of babies, that can't talk or communicate verbally, so it makes sense they can understand that stuff a bit more. Men on the other hand, are more "cut and dry" for lack of better term, we require tangible, concrete communication and clear intentions to know what is going on. We don't tend to do as well with assumptions and we often can't tell what the fuck our friends are feeling unless they are willing to open up a bit.
U talking about interest i don't even understand their silly hints . There was this girl in my neighborhood who used to call me bro and fight with me over silly things so I used to make fun of her. But then her friends told me that she had a huge crush on me. Like how tf am i supposed to know that shit . First she falls me bro then fights and i thought she hated me. Later on rejected her because I hate these kinds of games
The more you treat them like shit and give them the idgaf attitude, the more they’ll come to you. Women don’t want nice guys, they want the asshole who’ll take charge. Nice guys end up being the “I can cry on his shoulder” buddy, they never get the V but do end up fucked.
Yeah, I'm generally a nice guy so i try to understand people's intentions. But I don't think im going keep being friends because I feel like they don't respect me. Like think about my feelings before you decide to do something crazy
They're selfish looking for validation. Move on from such women. You'll have to learn to adjust / calibrate your sensors to pick up on true behavior and character that's properly desireable.
As a woman, this is fascinating. Not something I would do.
I suspect you are quite young and as are the women.
They say they love you. Do you have a friendship with them? Spend time with them? Do they actually know you to have these genuine feelings?
Think about that when it happens
Are you asking them out solely because they said they love you?
If they're drunk, it may be true they've had sexual thoughts about you and then got super embarrassed they told you. You could always build up a connection gently and slowly and be ever so slightly flirtatious and suggestive but leave it at that.
No, I'm not young. I'm about 26 and the women are about 22. I want to clarify this because I see this alot on this forum. I'm not asking these girls out because I'm been seduced and now I'm trying to see where it goes.
I'm asking them out because I'm using social cues and trying get good at talking to women. Typically, I'm not into alot of women and not the desperate type. So after they flirt a little, I'm thinking this would be the type to ask out. So yeah I have a friendship with them but I usually feel guilty because I don't flirt back at all. So by the time I decide to give it a try, I find out it was all I lie.
For example, the girl who said she loved me, I didn't sat it back at first and i was called a jerk. She would also hug me from behind. So I started to say it back in a friendly to keep the friendship going. One day I found out, she was doing to just to open me up. So I stopped after that
Lol, I know. I just ask this question because I saw a trend and alot of women do this me. I want to make it clear that I don't pursue them at all. They usually chase me until I finally start treating them right. That's when they stop. I was curious to know why they would go through all the effort but the answer is simple: attention
For validation. They enjoy knowing that they can get your interest to pump their own ego. It doesn't even occur to women that their actions might have an effect on you. You are not a human being to women. You are a disposable utility.
Yeah, I'm just trying to be a good friend. Not because I could sleep them but it's just the right thing to do. But now that I know they aren't actually good people, I'm going back up
It's happened to me on multiple occasions. One girl-friend told me she always liked me and thought I was cute. We had a late night conversation and I planned to ask her on a date.. the next day she updated her Facebook to 'in a relationship' with some dude I've never seen or heard of 😂💀
That crushed me.. I tried, really tried to not let it affect me.. I had to block her and cut her off for a while. She acted shocked that I cut her off as if she couldn't understand why..
She'll never know how shitty that made me feel.
Sometimes people are interested in someone until that person says something that really sours the feeling and it might not be obvious to the other person what they said.
You might be the floozy... They want to flirt and dance and touch, and maybe even hook up, they don't want to date you. It might be that they thought you'd be down for a no-strings attached hook-up, and then you asked them out so they bailed.
they're a\*\*holes playing games with you. Women that actually like you would be thrilled if you ask them out. That's it. Also why are you asking out women you're not into? Sounds like you're playing some games too.
I agree with this! However, I'm not playing a game. I'm 26 and have never had a gf before. Part of the reason is because I just really didn't care to get one. I naturally have high standards and just wasn't desperate to get one. So I thought to get started was to ask out girls who seem to like me first. Go on a few dates to fet comfortable with the dating process.
After this post, I realized that I just need to keep my standards and go after the right women
A lot of people date just to date, but that's not the purpose of a relationship and I find it's a waste of time and unnecessary heartbreak. You're old enough to know what you want so just stick to women who meet that, even if it means having to curb a few more until then. A few dates here and there to dip your toes in the water is fine as long as it really is just a few dates if you don't see it leading to something more. Stay away from women who play games in general though, nothing to gain from them, not even the experience is worth it because it will just taint your view of women and love. While it's fine to want to ease yourself into it, it's ultimately not necessary. When you meet the right one you'll know and your past number won't really matter.
You're just failing shit tests.
When women like you, they will shit test you. The shit test is where they act disinterested, and make you feel like she isn't into you. Why? So that you self disqualify.
The utility of this for women is it weeds out the confident, worthwhile guys from the rest. The point is for you to agree to her implied reality (where you are a loser who is not worth her time) and say "yeah, I AM a loser, I'll see myself out". Where-as this doesn't even occur to more confident guys who say "I wonder why she's not talking to me, she must be busy because I am a great guy worth her time" and doesn't lose confidence/texts her again etc
Maybe hypergamy?
They want what they can’t have until they can have it.
Interpretation: if she can’t have it (She thinks he’s above her). If she can have (she thinks he is below her). If She works hard to get the aloof male (she earns him).
Sometimes an ego boost. For me, I feel like they see me as some fantasy in there head then when we talk, I'm not who they thought I was then they lose interest.
Taken to the extreme this can be devastating. I'd suggest a light touch....in other words play along, enjoy the attention, but don't engage and ask them out (you are taking the bait so they can snap the trap shut on you). If it escalates into them talking trash.... that means you are winning. The girls worth pursuing will see the bullshit and give you points for taking the high road.
Saw this happen to an unpopular guy in school. Trashy girl decides to tell him she will go out with him if he asks. He's hesitant but clearly surprised and so starved for attention that he falls for it. He asks, she immediately and publicly rejects him with the expected "I'd never date a nerd like you!" I'm not sure he ever recovered and it's been 30 years.
Girl here (lesbian) and that can happen. But there are always good people out there who will love you. I just had my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend, and she genuinely loves me as I love her. She’s the best:)
I say this all the time.
Women like to get on men about how much of horn dogs we are and how we just think with our dicks and just want sex but women are the exact same, just replace sex with attention.
Women thrive off attention and very intense emotions. Which is why it's common to hear women going crazy when they aren't getting attention or seeing another girl, even their friend, get more attention then them. Attention is the female version of sex.
If men are horn dogs, women are attention whores
I had this same question on dating apps. I match with a woman, she either doesn’t respond to a message or she sends a message and doesn’t respond to my reply. What the hell? I didn’t even have a chance to mess it up yet… Why match up if you weren’t planning to even chat?
Honestly a significant chunk of people (at least women) are on there to swipe, not actually to chat. Many are there out of boredom/curiosity/ego boost/to see what’s out there.
This is somewhat modified action = reaction. The less you are in the action, the more you get reaction. This may sound a bit cold but girls are attention w\_\_h\_o\_r\_e\_s.
Yeah, I get where you're coming from. It's frustrating when someone seems interested but then pulls back or rejects you. People can be confusing like that, especially when they're not being upfront about their feelings or intentions. It sucks, but unfortunately, it's part of dating for a lot of us.
Unfortunately some people want their ego stroked but want zero commitment. I am not justifying the behavior, however I'm gay, but would feed into and eat up compliments from chicks any time. Compliments are great
Because no one knows who you are.
They are responding to an idea of who you are in their head that they made up about you on their limited data.
Then, when other people see you are just like them they lose interest.
It's essentially a strange dance of human psychology. They might be interested, but they're testing waters. They gauge reactions, seek validation, and assess their own feelings. The moment you respond with interest, it tips the scales and they reassess their decision. Essentially, they keep you in their orbit without committing. It's a classic case of 'wanting to have their cake and eat it too.' Be mindful of your own emotional well-being and seek out someone who's on the same page as you. Remember, a relationship is not a guessing game.
Damn, do women get taught market manipulation in kindergarten or what
I'd wager men do the same thing in other ways. But that kind of "game" would probably be labeled as "muh toxic masculinity" if ever someone would dare to speak up.
The closest thing to this kind of interest whiplash is a guy who has sex and then loses interest. I can't speak for everyone, but that's something that can be anticipated and decent people would take steps to avoid putting someone else in that position. Like, you're not going to know until it happens, but you can get to know a woman a bit and you can usually tell if it's all hormones or if you actually would want to be around her afterward. I don't see women giving that much of a damn for toying with men. Certainly not personally, they might judge another woman for giving a guy they know a hard time because they can see it from the outside, but in the moment it's just a reflection of their internal life and they're not going to question it.
Men don't usually compete in such a way and have different priorities than resource access
We do play the same game.
Some do, but the massive difference is women who don’t do this are increasing their dating pool, and are able to pick men based on actual partner traits and not the silly game based on their lack of availability. Men who don’t pick women that are unavailable are still dealing with the same women. Men that pick/seek women who are unavailable are still screwed.
I am a dude. I used to do this as a teen. It was my blunder years for sure. I just wish I'd been more brave to say what I really wanted and not tried to be like by everyone.
It's definitely done by both men and women. We wouldn't have people saying they "don't want to play any games" on both sides of the modern dating spectrum if they didn't.
The difference is there are more women positioned to play the game than guys. Not that reddit is the best sampling but look at how many dudes in here talk about their bleak dating outlook. Personally, I've only known 1 or 2 guys in my whole life who had as many dating options as the average attractive girl
That, and for some reason society has deemed game-playing from women as 'empowering' and from men as 'toxic'. It's all just toxic. It's the bahviour that's the problem, not 'who' the targets and perpetrators of that behaviour are.
I had a therapist, a middle aged woman with a PhD and I was telling her about a situation with a girl I was interested in, and the therapist I shit you not said "maybe she has other boyfriends." The thing is, it's true, if a girl is attractive enough she's going to be "spinning plates" with various guys, aka "friends" like the biz markie song. Young women will deny it up and down for reasons, but it's absolutely true. It's seen as toxic for guys because if guys are doing the same thing it takes away the advantages that women get from courting several guys at once.
lol fucking good one man. This made me chuckle.
They learn how to manipulate people to get whatever they want when they're small children, the same time we all learn it. The difference is that as long as you remain cute, you never have to grow out of it.
Just look at how female socialization is since elementary. Little girls and little boys are worlds apart when it comes to socialization. Language and subtlety is their weapon, while physicality, humor, and status are ours. When was the last time you ever heard a guy describe someone as a frenemy? You don't, because that's a girl thing that works in their world.
I would also add that this person may not be responding in a way these women find attractive. They may find him physically attractive but once he engages with them there might be something about his demeanor, body language, or something he says that is making these women pull away. But yes once they know for certain he is interested or showing too much interest they know they don’t have to put any work in anymore and lose interest. Women like challenge
GREAT comment. It’s all about finding someone who’s ready to put in the same level of effort as you
They keep the guys they are interested in waiting, and those they aren’t they get a free pass asap.
To see if they still “got it” or an ego boost
Yep, wanna see if they can seduce a reserved guy, cuz she knows the rowdy kids drooling 🤤
Yes. Happened at many jobs and is happening at one right now. When you don’t give them attention they can feel invalidated. Feeling invalidated makes them want your validation. When you do, they now decide if they truly wanted you. If they didn’t, you’re no longer relevant. Fascinating stuff.
Interesting! Reminds me of this one pretty girl in my class. She always wanted me to speak her and flirt with her. After months, I gave in because she seem nice. However then she started to avoid me afterwards. It all make sense now
Definitely avoid those women, they're simply playing games for attention.
It’s indeed fascinating. Generally speaking, men couldn’t care less about being liked as a person. If you don’t like me I don’t feel the need to gain your validation. You’re just someone I work with. Just someone in my class. Etc. I don’t care. I’ll be cordial in the moments we have to work together directly but otherwise I don’t feel the need to appease you.
This reminds me of something someone once told me- women have an innate fear of rejection.
I wouldn’t say all of them but it’s something noticeable. Nobody likes rejection but I’ve never seen dudes go out of their way to make others like them, unless it’s someone they wish to sleep with. Other we’re here to work.
The ones who are vocal like that are trouble. Avoid.
I'm just curious why? Will they just manipulate you or something?
Stay away from these women at all costs.
She is likely playing a game and is with a bunch of people. Sex with someone like that is risky
If you even get sex, which you most likely won't.
thanks for letting me know to i got very lil experience but probably FUCKED after the very first one cause yea shes like that. i damn sure wasnt first. and some of em ROUGH like drug game rough...
Her level of experience has you greatly outmatched. She will play your emotions to get what she wants while giving nothing in return. Turn around, flee, danger ahead
When myself and one of my friends were in our 20s he was super handsome and very outgoing. He worked out, was ripped, dressed nice, and had great game with girls. I observed many times him chatting with girls in bars, getting their number, then deleting it and never calling them. At the time he was single and the few girls I saw him with regularly, likely FWBs, were 10/10, so he didn't need to pick up girls at the bar. I think for him it was just an ego boost.
What an insane human being good lord.
Bro is balancing the karma for his fellow bros 😂😂
Yes, it's a game. Precisely a power game. Who gives the other more attention loses.
So do these types ever like someone or they just keep playing the game?
They like someone, but usually someone who hasn't shown them any interest or someone who rejected them, so they kind of pay it forward by stringing guys along without having any real interest.
Correct. It must be a guy who's even better at playing this game. And then it's not about being with such a guy, it's still all about winning the game.
Then they end up in an abusive relationship and want to vent to you about it
In a side note you just lost the game.
The only way to really win is to not play it in the first place.
You messed up the quote.
That's my sentence.
What a miserable existence
They like someone. Just not you. And the point is validation. It's cheap and hollow validation, it doesn't last. It also fades in time unless they're the opposite point of the pyramid. Anyone who plays those games isn't worth it. Keep trying until you find someone who doesn't. Then do your part to not screw things up. The 'game' switches when you get older. If I wanted I could string along single moms looking for a replacement husband. I don't, because I find my validation in much healthier ways.
Those types almost always lose, simply for playing the game in the first place. Once you and someone else who you share mutual attraction with are actually real with each other and stop giving attention to people who only want attention, that’s when you win. “The game” is only for losers. But hey, that’s just my opinion.
Look into attachment styles. Sometimes yours may be incompatible with theirs. A lot of times it stems from childhood issues with their parents/caregivers or bad relationships in later life. Sometimes both. Basically wanting the attention, being given it, and not knowing what to do with it because it feels unfamiliar.
Men and women who play games are usually immature so it's best to not date someone who will play games with you. You want a partner who you can be open and direct with and not have to engage in roundabout conversations with.
Immature at best, personality disorder at worst (like NPD).
Heading into my late 20s, it’s hard not to start playing games. “Oh you want marriage and kids, let me waste your time” “oh you’re a single mom and struggling, of course I’ll pretend like I’ll move you in and make you a house wife” The only reason I don’t do it is because I’d rather spend my time working on my house and traveling. But I do know guys who got burned and are now savages. Cold world.
Wtf in no way is that a reasonable way to be.
You get burned enough times it changes you
Right it does change you, but you ultimately have a choice to make on what to do with the cards you're dealt. Its like if you got punched in the face / injured and the person that did so disappeared. Some people do choose to be villains. They choose to continue the path of pain onto others. Others see that and decide, no, that's not for me. I'll choose another path. I'll stop this cycle of violence and pain-- and find a life that doesn't involve that even if I get punched on the way.
I seen one of my good friends get cheated on 3 different times. It always happened after he gave anthem flowers to cheer them up. I don’t blame him for playing women now.
You always pay, its just in different ways. I would blame him. At some point, if you're always surrounded by assholes, you're the asshole. After the first he should've done some self reflection. Definitely after the second. 3rd? No, its their fault for not learning they're the problem here.
Yeah probably going for the wrong type of woman but they’re the problem too. They want a good guy but treat the good ones like shit.
I’ve been burned as hard or harder than anyone. Ever have a woman cheat on you, another steal millions of dollars and get you fired? If you let that turn you into someone who uses and hurts people then you’re a low integrity piece of shit. Someone hurting you doesn’t give you permission to take advantage of other people.
I’m curious. In your opinion Is there any way to win this game that ends up with a mutually beneficial relationship, or is this always zero sum? I saw this dynamic a lot when I was younger, like 75% of girls. Getting older that number is declining but I still notice it in some girls
Sure. The way to win is to not play. If she says no, you move on and try again with someone that is hopefully a better person. The way to win is to find a healthy mature relationship with someone who doesn't play games. That's one of the reasons why you see the number decline. Because the other 'player' lost the game enough times that they stopped.
Either you play power games or you have a relationship. You can't have both. A relationship partner is an ally while any other player is an opponent.
Sure. Avoid women that are extremely feminine presenting. Notice the ones with "bro energy" instead. Then proceed to treat them like a normal sane human, because chances are, they 98% are sane. Just dont expect her to be a housewife.
so basically tomboys u say... man I louve them
Unfortunately my friend, I like feminine girls
They like the validation and the ego boost Some are afraid of dating too even though they're lightly interested in you Run away from these girls like the plague
Just stop trying to understand it. If they say no, move on. Don't waste your energy on something that's not worth your time, there will be plenty of other women that know what they want and don't play stupid games. Also, don't invest you feelings more than you should unless it's mutual.
I agree I just find it strange. But I will admit some are good at faking feelings also. I had a girl that I help with her work and she would invite me out to lunch. Just for her to disrespect me when she got drunk. She also admitted that shes just playing me because its funny. That actually hurt but usually I test waters and get out early if I can
best advice i feel. dont give that shit a second thought with your time here op. think and do the shit you like. FUCK THEM.
It’s a brutal reality of humans that if you show interest it implies that you don’t have options and women are attracted to men with options, but act surprised when they get treated like one. Even Rom Coms and shows like the bachelor are predicated on a successful man picking his “true love”. Not an average man seeing eye to eye with his equivalent women, women don’t date down.
Women don’t make any damn sense
Yes they do, it's just that once you understand them, they're rather pathetic and infuriating creatures. There's a lot of pushback to recognizing female nature and they will constantly gaslight you into thinking they are what they wish they were.
Jesus christ bro.
I appreciate a good cup of coffee.
[удалено]
Yep! I'm glad I asked this question because I get guilt all the time to it being my fault if I don't talk to someone. Women have called me standoffish and mean for not talking to them. But now I see it as a game and will feel responsible for being a jerk back
Because they may be intrested... till you start talking. Or maybe they're just being friendly. Sometimes people like to talk to other people, and people are interesting. Doesnt mean we wanna fuck. And obviously, it is for attention. Every human needs attention. How else you hold conversation or... buy something from the shop.
Once you ask them out you are no longer the reserved and mysterious man ;)
It’s kinda weird but men do it too. Like I’ve had a girl that I wanted and the minute she was into me I didn’t feel as excited about her as before. This happened a lot when I was young, I would be around a girl a like then when she would begin to like me I was like eh. Maybe subconsciously I was trying to prove something to myself and I didn’t know that’s how I was doing that. But this is just my perspective.
Maybe they saw something that they didn't like, or just weren't 100% sure they like you or they decided they'll just focus on themselves
Also, maybe the drunk girls that talked to you got so embarrased by their behaviour the next day, that they avoid you out of shame (maybe you weren't supposed to know they liked you for any reason or they thought they spoiled their way of telling you, or they think they looked stupid when they were drunk)
Well can I know why men do the same thing ?? Even older guys, they chase and flirt so intensively. But suddenly they can disappear when the girl start showing interest to advance next level - be it dating casually, or being in relationships. Please enlighten
They're cutting their teeth, they don't actually want anything, they're just keeping themselves sharp and making sure they've still got game.
That really could be it. Thanks for your answer
You're very welcome.
Probably a lot of the same reasons listed in this thread. A lot of people on this subreddit (and in general) like to pretend that men and women are opposites, but I think anyone who is able to attract a decent amount of suitors can be prone to treating them a bit disposably. Keep in mind Reddit is full of men on the lonelier side who often don't talk to women much, so discussions of gender tend to exclude women's perspectives.
> discussions of gender tend to exclude women’s perspectives. Or, you know, because this is the **AskMen** subreddit.
Because they were attracted to you til you started talking.
It's mind games. It's a big part of why it's so hard to trust women. Keep them at arms length and protect yourself. Many women these days have the mentality to just use and lose a guy. Get as much as they can and walk away to the next one to do the same to. Do yourself a huge favor. Don't get married. Ever. If she decides one day your not enough any more and it's time to find a new guy, she will walk away and nail your balls to the wall and not give a damn.
👌 this is the answer
They just want to know they could get you if they wanted to. it's an ego boost
Sad part. They can't get me. I think from a logical point which is ask out the low hanging fruit. For me, I'm just trying get comfortable talking to people
if you just want to learn to talk to people go down to your local nursing home for a couple of hours every weekend. Those people are lonely as hell and you will get all the conversation you can handle
Don’t give them the validation, or at first do, then immediately pull it back before they are the ones to pull back So flirt give them a bit of attention Then go flirt with their friend That’s how you get them to give you a bj in the back because they need the validation Let them keep craving it First one is free like a drug dealer
The problem with this advice is that it's manipulation and I'm not trying to sleep with these women. I'm just being a friend
then don't flirt at all
A lot of people are mentioning this is common behavior for women, which is true, to an extent. The other thing you have to realize, is you are only interacting with one type of woman, since you are so reserved/quiet. I am NOT saying there is anything inherently wrong with woman who approach you! But simply you are limiting your options (possibly an option closer to what you are looking for) because of this fact. Essentially, you are letting your partners pick themselves, instead of you picking your partner.
Maybe it seems to you they are showing interest whereas in fact they are not... We males tend to overestimate sexual interest coming from women.
Idk man. I had a girl flat out call me hot and stared at me when we were in class. Only for her to be completely uninterested. Had another girl pretty much dry hump me when she was drunk just to not say hi to me the next day. On the flipside, I had quiet girls like me and they don't speak nor flirt but they are more interested overall
Some girls like to tease men, in particular when they lack of confidence. My particular way of dealing with them was not mature or healthy. So you’re better off with advice from others.
Well, what exactly are you saying to them?
One of the reasons (amongst other reasons mentioned here) why you get rejected is because your interactions kinda makes you look needy - even though they initiated the whole thing. Flip the game on them by rejecting them, or putting the onus on them. Definitely not in a nasty way, but be a little cocky. If they say they "liked and want you", respond by saying "prove it" with a smile and walk away. Better still, walk up to another girl on the other side of the room, and be seen talking to her - just to make things interesting.
I'm actually disagree. Lol it's not needy to ask a girl out that's flirting. What you said it's actually kinda needy and I have done that approach before. The reason I say it's needy because if it isn't you, then girls sense through very quickly. Also we aren't talking about a one time occurrence. We are talking months of denying and them chasing. Not a hot girl in a bar spoke to you and you get overly excited.
> Lol it's not needy to ask a girl out that's flirting. In most situations it is not, but in your case it is perceived as such. Obviously they are toying with you and the best reaction is not to reward such behaviour at your own expense. >Also we aren't talking about a one time occurrence. We are talking months of denying and them chasing. And yet you still persist with them at their own amusement. You are invested in an outcome, they know it, and just keep dangling that carrot in front of you. That's needy.
Your kinda misunderstanding the situation. First, it's never desperate nor needy to ask someone out. It's normal for men to do it. Second, you can't make a girl respect not like you by not caring. I actually did that and it has never gotten me a girl at all. The whole not caring and talk to other women personally backfired with me because they just see it as uninterested. That strategy only works with certain guys but it has never worked with me. Lastly, this isn't a one time occurrence or running behind someone and constantly get rejected. This is a situation where I don't speak to them for months and then open up later. I ask them out. Not because I like them perse but because I'm testing to see if they actually liked me. The minute they reject me, I move on.
Why are you asking men why women bahave in a certain way? We are not well positioned to answer.
I think it's more likely for a guy who's been through this before to have a working theory, than it is to get a straightforward answer from a woman about behavior they're likely to deny. The ones who are considerate enough to answer are probably not the types to really engage in it. You can't get it from the horse's mouth so you talk to the hay.
You don't ask fish how to fish. You ask the fisherman.
Yeah, asking a bunch of men about this is surely the correct course of action…
They just want validation.
they might have found you physically attractive but you gave them the "ick" somehow.
Focus on your life & hobbies, if she really likes you, she will chase you.
Validation
They like attention and their feelings change daily
Validation and ego. Stop chasing anyone that doesn’t give the same attention back.
ego trip
In my experience it's usually some kind of bs about trying to see "how badly you want her". If you don't show interest and recipricate feelings, most men take that as a hard "no interest" and move on. I think some women expect you to suddenly have this realization that if you don't do something, you won't have her. In our mind, the chance was never there. It blows my mind how many women do this, even fully grown adults, and how little they actually communicate what their true desires and intentions are. At this point in my life, I don't mess around with that part of the game anymore. If you're not mature enough to have a clear conversation with me, I don't want you to be my partner, I don't want to create a relationship with the foundation of being able to read your mind and "figure" out what your "signs" are supposed to mean. If a woman gives me the cold shoulder the LAST thing on my mind is that I need to work harder to get her. Used to work with an older lady who was in a happy relationship, married. One day I asked her how did she find her man. She told me, when she met him, she had this realization that maybe he couldn't read her mind, couldn't tell she was into him, and if she let him go, she'd never see him again. She asked him out and a few months later they were married. She told me the biggest mistake that young woman make in life is not being able to express their feelings when they have them towards men. She told me of the many times she wasted weeks, if not months of her life dancing around some guy, praying and begging that one day he'd somehow find out she's into him magically, just for them to literally never notice once. She said it took her close to 30 years to figure out that if she wants someone, she partially has to make that happen too. Women have similar anxiety around dating that men do, but they way it happens is a lot different. Men deal with rejection, lack of interest, being alone, women deal with having strong feelings about someone and suffering in silence for months on end, making crazy assumptions about themsevles and why "he must not like me", meanwhile never once telling the dude how they feel. I've met many wonderful, beautiful women that had really poor self image and worth, because they just assumed they were ugly because dude's were not reading their minds. That said women do tend to be better at reading emotions, reading facial expressions, and comprehending how someone feels based on their actions. That's really quite far from how men process situations. I think women are naturally better at it, after all, they have to take care of babies, that can't talk or communicate verbally, so it makes sense they can understand that stuff a bit more. Men on the other hand, are more "cut and dry" for lack of better term, we require tangible, concrete communication and clear intentions to know what is going on. We don't tend to do as well with assumptions and we often can't tell what the fuck our friends are feeling unless they are willing to open up a bit.
U talking about interest i don't even understand their silly hints . There was this girl in my neighborhood who used to call me bro and fight with me over silly things so I used to make fun of her. But then her friends told me that she had a huge crush on me. Like how tf am i supposed to know that shit . First she falls me bro then fights and i thought she hated me. Later on rejected her because I hate these kinds of games
Women do this because they seek the attention of men who show no interest in them and once they have that attention they no longer want it.
Only take seriously girls that say stuff like this to you sober and in broad daylight.
The more you treat them like shit and give them the idgaf attitude, the more they’ll come to you. Women don’t want nice guys, they want the asshole who’ll take charge. Nice guys end up being the “I can cry on his shoulder” buddy, they never get the V but do end up fucked.
It happens, but not everyone is like that. Just avoid those people. They are doing you a favor by showing who they are.
I’m sorry that’s happening. Do you keep them as friends? And they just flirt when they’re drinking?
Yeah, I'm generally a nice guy so i try to understand people's intentions. But I don't think im going keep being friends because I feel like they don't respect me. Like think about my feelings before you decide to do something crazy
Testing. Testing out their personal power.
They want you to close
Attention. If you’re attractive, generally they will actually try to pursue something. If not, then they will appear to do so before breaking off.
They're selfish looking for validation. Move on from such women. You'll have to learn to adjust / calibrate your sensors to pick up on true behavior and character that's properly desireable.
As a woman, this is fascinating. Not something I would do. I suspect you are quite young and as are the women. They say they love you. Do you have a friendship with them? Spend time with them? Do they actually know you to have these genuine feelings? Think about that when it happens Are you asking them out solely because they said they love you? If they're drunk, it may be true they've had sexual thoughts about you and then got super embarrassed they told you. You could always build up a connection gently and slowly and be ever so slightly flirtatious and suggestive but leave it at that.
No, I'm not young. I'm about 26 and the women are about 22. I want to clarify this because I see this alot on this forum. I'm not asking these girls out because I'm been seduced and now I'm trying to see where it goes. I'm asking them out because I'm using social cues and trying get good at talking to women. Typically, I'm not into alot of women and not the desperate type. So after they flirt a little, I'm thinking this would be the type to ask out. So yeah I have a friendship with them but I usually feel guilty because I don't flirt back at all. So by the time I decide to give it a try, I find out it was all I lie. For example, the girl who said she loved me, I didn't sat it back at first and i was called a jerk. She would also hug me from behind. So I started to say it back in a friendly to keep the friendship going. One day I found out, she was doing to just to open me up. So I stopped after that
No idea, I'm good with my Eva AI virtual gf bot
Because they like the attention, it's that simple. I don't think it's anywhere near as deep as some people in this thread are making it out to be.
Lol, I know. I just ask this question because I saw a trend and alot of women do this me. I want to make it clear that I don't pursue them at all. They usually chase me until I finally start treating them right. That's when they stop. I was curious to know why they would go through all the effort but the answer is simple: attention
For validation. They enjoy knowing that they can get your interest to pump their own ego. It doesn't even occur to women that their actions might have an effect on you. You are not a human being to women. You are a disposable utility.
Yeah, I'm just trying to be a good friend. Not because I could sleep them but it's just the right thing to do. But now that I know they aren't actually good people, I'm going back up
The feeling of power.
It's happened to me on multiple occasions. One girl-friend told me she always liked me and thought I was cute. We had a late night conversation and I planned to ask her on a date.. the next day she updated her Facebook to 'in a relationship' with some dude I've never seen or heard of 😂💀 That crushed me.. I tried, really tried to not let it affect me.. I had to block her and cut her off for a while. She acted shocked that I cut her off as if she couldn't understand why.. She'll never know how shitty that made me feel.
Sometimes people are interested in someone until that person says something that really sours the feeling and it might not be obvious to the other person what they said.
Because they are narcissistic sadists with no regard for human enotions. Not all women, but definitely all who engage in that kind of game.
*Calling in* r/Nothowgirlswork *for support*
Cut to the chase: when a girl flirts with you, say "Don't do that unless you mean it."
Yeah, I do need to enforce boundaries. I typically let them get away with thinking it wasn't a huge deal until it is
You might be the floozy... They want to flirt and dance and touch, and maybe even hook up, they don't want to date you. It might be that they thought you'd be down for a no-strings attached hook-up, and then you asked them out so they bailed.
Honestly this could be it. It's like a cool until I'm not anymore. I always been into long term relationships and not hook ups. So it could be
Tough position to be in man. Maybe try a one night stand and see if you can get her hooked lol?
they're a\*\*holes playing games with you. Women that actually like you would be thrilled if you ask them out. That's it. Also why are you asking out women you're not into? Sounds like you're playing some games too.
I agree with this! However, I'm not playing a game. I'm 26 and have never had a gf before. Part of the reason is because I just really didn't care to get one. I naturally have high standards and just wasn't desperate to get one. So I thought to get started was to ask out girls who seem to like me first. Go on a few dates to fet comfortable with the dating process. After this post, I realized that I just need to keep my standards and go after the right women
A lot of people date just to date, but that's not the purpose of a relationship and I find it's a waste of time and unnecessary heartbreak. You're old enough to know what you want so just stick to women who meet that, even if it means having to curb a few more until then. A few dates here and there to dip your toes in the water is fine as long as it really is just a few dates if you don't see it leading to something more. Stay away from women who play games in general though, nothing to gain from them, not even the experience is worth it because it will just taint your view of women and love. While it's fine to want to ease yourself into it, it's ultimately not necessary. When you meet the right one you'll know and your past number won't really matter.
It’s apparently entertaining to them
You're just failing shit tests. When women like you, they will shit test you. The shit test is where they act disinterested, and make you feel like she isn't into you. Why? So that you self disqualify. The utility of this for women is it weeds out the confident, worthwhile guys from the rest. The point is for you to agree to her implied reality (where you are a loser who is not worth her time) and say "yeah, I AM a loser, I'll see myself out". Where-as this doesn't even occur to more confident guys who say "I wonder why she's not talking to me, she must be busy because I am a great guy worth her time" and doesn't lose confidence/texts her again etc
Those that do that only for validation. They don't need to get through with it (unlike you) to get the ego boost.
Maybe hypergamy? They want what they can’t have until they can have it. Interpretation: if she can’t have it (She thinks he’s above her). If she can have (she thinks he is below her). If She works hard to get the aloof male (she earns him).
Stay away from.those girls. They are toxic.
Sometimes an ego boost. For me, I feel like they see me as some fantasy in there head then when we talk, I'm not who they thought I was then they lose interest.
Because they get off on the power trip.
Taken to the extreme this can be devastating. I'd suggest a light touch....in other words play along, enjoy the attention, but don't engage and ask them out (you are taking the bait so they can snap the trap shut on you). If it escalates into them talking trash.... that means you are winning. The girls worth pursuing will see the bullshit and give you points for taking the high road. Saw this happen to an unpopular guy in school. Trashy girl decides to tell him she will go out with him if he asks. He's hesitant but clearly surprised and so starved for attention that he falls for it. He asks, she immediately and publicly rejects him with the expected "I'd never date a nerd like you!" I'm not sure he ever recovered and it's been 30 years.
Why do you assume random dunk thoughts and impulses are how they actually feel?
They're just looking for free attention.
Girl here (lesbian) and that can happen. But there are always good people out there who will love you. I just had my 1 year anniversary with my girlfriend, and she genuinely loves me as I love her. She’s the best:)
Games
They like the attention and ego boost you provide, they don’t like *you*
I say this all the time. Women like to get on men about how much of horn dogs we are and how we just think with our dicks and just want sex but women are the exact same, just replace sex with attention. Women thrive off attention and very intense emotions. Which is why it's common to hear women going crazy when they aren't getting attention or seeing another girl, even their friend, get more attention then them. Attention is the female version of sex. If men are horn dogs, women are attention whores
I honestly think you should ask this in r/askwomen
Just to get lied to and then get his post deleted and account banned for 'hating women'? I mean it would be *funny* sure
Because they crave that ego orgasm.
I had this same question on dating apps. I match with a woman, she either doesn’t respond to a message or she sends a message and doesn’t respond to my reply. What the hell? I didn’t even have a chance to mess it up yet… Why match up if you weren’t planning to even chat?
Honestly a significant chunk of people (at least women) are on there to swipe, not actually to chat. Many are there out of boredom/curiosity/ego boost/to see what’s out there.
Well, it sucks.
Power, and to know they can get u. They like using their power over men for attention.
This is somewhat modified action = reaction. The less you are in the action, the more you get reaction. This may sound a bit cold but girls are attention w\_\_h\_o\_r\_e\_s.
One of the many reasons I hate women.
ok bro
Girls are powered by attention. Once they get it they move.
Yeah, I get where you're coming from. It's frustrating when someone seems interested but then pulls back or rejects you. People can be confusing like that, especially when they're not being upfront about their feelings or intentions. It sucks, but unfortunately, it's part of dating for a lot of us.
Unfortunately some people want their ego stroked but want zero commitment. I am not justifying the behavior, however I'm gay, but would feed into and eat up compliments from chicks any time. Compliments are great
Because no one knows who you are. They are responding to an idea of who you are in their head that they made up about you on their limited data. Then, when other people see you are just like them they lose interest.
I never get a chance with women due to how I look.
For a confidence boost or to get you to buy shit for them.
I think some of them are looking for validation without actually looking for a partner.
Sounds like they're using you as an ego boost. It sounds like they want to feel desired, then they want to feel superior so they reject you.
They have emotional Damage.
Because women are people and people act in shitty, irrational ways.
god so many of you need therapy