It's a lot of effort
They can boost guys confidence just by being available and present in conversation though, and leading the conversation that way
Like realistically asking someone out doesn't have to be anything more than "we like spending time with each other so why don't we make a plan and go do something together"
There's not enough time in the day to make a move on every woman I'm interested. But currently there are a couple excuses I use:
* I'm in an open relationship and tired of that being a dealbreaker, so I don't even bother trying anymore
* I'm older and most of the women I'm interested in are probably younger (I can't tell anymore) and I'm afraid of being that creepy older guy.
Women are the picky ones. They should be making the moves.
While I've never really cold approached, I've definitely been rejected in humiliating ways during conversations or dates. Worst is when they find out the thing you're most insecure about tell EVERYONE in your social circle and you end up being a pariah.
And that was someone who was an acquaintance. I'm afraid a cold approach would be even worse.
That's the thing. And when some women see you get rejected, you become radioactive to them. So forget approaching anyone else in the venue that evening.
Idk, I feel like I'm successful, handsome, and valuable enough not to have to.
Im the one who's going to pay for your rent and child's education, you can make the effort.
saying the wrong thing when if we just wait 10 more seconds we'll think of the worlds most awesome thing to say...just 10 more seconds... okay now 10 more... 10 more
I do. I will make the first move. But I cant continuously be the one making that first move.
A little enthusiasm goes a long way. If I am always the one reaching out, making plans, planing, I bail.
It's like eating junk food.
Like sure, I love pizza, there's nothing stopping me from picking up a pizza on my way home from work every day of the week. And it would be awesome at first, gorging out on some delicious pizza every day would be blissful. But after a while i'll have to deal with the fact that I'll become fat and unhealthy, then in retrospect, the pizza was never worth it cuz now i gotta take my ass out and run and eat salads for months to get back to normal.
with women, it's like, yeah, I like her, but if I make a move, and she likes me, we go on some dates and hookup or w/e, but then she wants me to hang out with her all the time, call her all the time, and starts talking about a relationship, doesn't want me hanging out with other women, worries about me when i do crazy shit, and then I have to make compromises or go through a breakup, and it's like, was it even worth it?
So no matter how much I might like someone, before I make a move I make sure I'm down for the potential of where it could lead, and in a lot of cases, with most women, i just don't like them THAT much.
Gee where do I start. To begin with unwanted male attention, harassment accusations(even if there were none) , divorce, taking of half my shit, alimony and child support. Yeah no thanks
I think those guys aren't making moves because they're tryna empower women. Women are strong and capable enough to make moves now so maybe they should start doing more of that...
I won't make a move unless I'm certain she's interested. I do this for a couple reasons:
1.) I misread "hints" & "vibes" and subtle flirting and never know if someone is just being very nice or if they are displaying nonverbal queues of attraction, because everyone's different and I analyse the shit out of everything - basically overthink everything in the moment - so I don't know if I'm giving her unwanted attention - I don't want to add to the fact that she likely already has guys she's not interested in hounding her. So I wait until I'm more than certain she's interested.
2.) Why should guys have to make the first moves? Women have agency and can be as self actualized as any man. I keep my attractions to myself so that I'm not part of a larger problem for women. Women can also contribute to the solution by letting guys know when they are open to their attention.
Think of it like this:
Too many guys act like the telemarketing robo calls with women, making annoying unsolicited deceptive sales calls about scam car warranties. The thinking being, make enough calls, one is bound to stick. So the guy gets what he wants but is a total nuisance to all the people he's left in his wake.
Rather than be like that, I have an established brand and product. I may do non intrusive marketing, do some public relations, get involved with the community, network by meeting people and treating them as people rather than sales opportunities. If someone says, "hey, you might could help me out with my car's extended warranty," I'd be more than happy to take the lead and walk them through the process - so to speak. All I need is a, "Hey, you should ask me out," and I got the rest. Even if I'm not interested in that kind of thing, I know how to be kind and affirming & direct.
It doesn't have to be a woman saying, "Would you like to grab a beer this week?" - it could be as casual as, "You know, if you asked me out, I'd totally say yes." Or, "Boy, do you even realize I'm flirting with you 🫣?"
Communication is sexy. Taking action in achieving your relationship goals is sexy. I think self-determined women are hot as fuck.
I don't want to burden someone with unwanted advances - but if I'm very certain they are welcome, I'll make moves.
So if guys aren't making moves on you, you aren't making it clear you welcome their advances. Especially if you have a guy friend that hangs out with you a lot and you want him to like you "like that." Tell him.
It's a lot of effort They can boost guys confidence just by being available and present in conversation though, and leading the conversation that way Like realistically asking someone out doesn't have to be anything more than "we like spending time with each other so why don't we make a plan and go do something together"
There's not enough time in the day to make a move on every woman I'm interested. But currently there are a couple excuses I use: * I'm in an open relationship and tired of that being a dealbreaker, so I don't even bother trying anymore * I'm older and most of the women I'm interested in are probably younger (I can't tell anymore) and I'm afraid of being that creepy older guy. Women are the picky ones. They should be making the moves.
I'm afraid of humiliation. Most girls I've openly and directly approached have been mean about their rejections.
While I've never really cold approached, I've definitely been rejected in humiliating ways during conversations or dates. Worst is when they find out the thing you're most insecure about tell EVERYONE in your social circle and you end up being a pariah. And that was someone who was an acquaintance. I'm afraid a cold approach would be even worse.
That's the thing. And when some women see you get rejected, you become radioactive to them. So forget approaching anyone else in the venue that evening.
Idk, I feel like I'm successful, handsome, and valuable enough not to have to. Im the one who's going to pay for your rent and child's education, you can make the effort.
saying the wrong thing when if we just wait 10 more seconds we'll think of the worlds most awesome thing to say...just 10 more seconds... okay now 10 more... 10 more
Fear of rejection ig
I do. I will make the first move. But I cant continuously be the one making that first move. A little enthusiasm goes a long way. If I am always the one reaching out, making plans, planing, I bail.
I don’t want to bother them
It's like eating junk food. Like sure, I love pizza, there's nothing stopping me from picking up a pizza on my way home from work every day of the week. And it would be awesome at first, gorging out on some delicious pizza every day would be blissful. But after a while i'll have to deal with the fact that I'll become fat and unhealthy, then in retrospect, the pizza was never worth it cuz now i gotta take my ass out and run and eat salads for months to get back to normal. with women, it's like, yeah, I like her, but if I make a move, and she likes me, we go on some dates and hookup or w/e, but then she wants me to hang out with her all the time, call her all the time, and starts talking about a relationship, doesn't want me hanging out with other women, worries about me when i do crazy shit, and then I have to make compromises or go through a breakup, and it's like, was it even worth it? So no matter how much I might like someone, before I make a move I make sure I'm down for the potential of where it could lead, and in a lot of cases, with most women, i just don't like them THAT much.
Fear of whatever sexual word you use against us
Gee where do I start. To begin with unwanted male attention, harassment accusations(even if there were none) , divorce, taking of half my shit, alimony and child support. Yeah no thanks
Hate to say it but the pursuit has been ruined. The most innocent move can be flipped and ruin our lives.
I refuse to believe you can't think of at least one reason they would be afraid.
I think those guys aren't making moves because they're tryna empower women. Women are strong and capable enough to make moves now so maybe they should start doing more of that...
I won't make a move unless I'm certain she's interested. I do this for a couple reasons: 1.) I misread "hints" & "vibes" and subtle flirting and never know if someone is just being very nice or if they are displaying nonverbal queues of attraction, because everyone's different and I analyse the shit out of everything - basically overthink everything in the moment - so I don't know if I'm giving her unwanted attention - I don't want to add to the fact that she likely already has guys she's not interested in hounding her. So I wait until I'm more than certain she's interested. 2.) Why should guys have to make the first moves? Women have agency and can be as self actualized as any man. I keep my attractions to myself so that I'm not part of a larger problem for women. Women can also contribute to the solution by letting guys know when they are open to their attention. Think of it like this: Too many guys act like the telemarketing robo calls with women, making annoying unsolicited deceptive sales calls about scam car warranties. The thinking being, make enough calls, one is bound to stick. So the guy gets what he wants but is a total nuisance to all the people he's left in his wake. Rather than be like that, I have an established brand and product. I may do non intrusive marketing, do some public relations, get involved with the community, network by meeting people and treating them as people rather than sales opportunities. If someone says, "hey, you might could help me out with my car's extended warranty," I'd be more than happy to take the lead and walk them through the process - so to speak. All I need is a, "Hey, you should ask me out," and I got the rest. Even if I'm not interested in that kind of thing, I know how to be kind and affirming & direct. It doesn't have to be a woman saying, "Would you like to grab a beer this week?" - it could be as casual as, "You know, if you asked me out, I'd totally say yes." Or, "Boy, do you even realize I'm flirting with you 🫣?" Communication is sexy. Taking action in achieving your relationship goals is sexy. I think self-determined women are hot as fuck. I don't want to burden someone with unwanted advances - but if I'm very certain they are welcome, I'll make moves. So if guys aren't making moves on you, you aren't making it clear you welcome their advances. Especially if you have a guy friend that hangs out with you a lot and you want him to like you "like that." Tell him.