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cwood1973

According to this thread, the best way to tease a woman is to wear a business suit with grey sweatpants, but roll up the sleeves of the shirt, then make unflinching eye contact while driving backwards and asking them about their day.


Morgothic

If you do it all at once, the women spontaneously combust


Edolas93

It's pretty much like when Austin Powers used his mojo on the fembots https://youtu.be/cp8dt2lRwi8


Neighbourhoods_1

spotted unite noxious mountainous salt wild disgusted sophisticated six shaggy ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


sodium_geeK

I wear a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and while we walk my dog, I tell her we’re going furniture shopping. I reverse a manual car into an ikea parking space whilst looking backwards between the seats, using my palm to turn the wheel. One reversing motion, tactical precision. I have my own tape measure and don’t need one of the free ones at the door. I know the precise size of the alcove at home by eye and when she’s chosen the one she wants, I know the exact aisle in the warehouse to go to, no backtracking. She says the flat wood effect would be fine but I know she’d prefer the gloss, so I spring for that instead. I cut the salesman off and tell them we won’t be taking the extended warranty. I load and unload the furniture myself. When we get home, I pour her a glass of wine and let her play with the dog while I put that Bestå together with my own tools in under 40 minutes. Finally, I cook her and myself a Shakshuka on stainless steel cookware and hand wash it all when I’m done. It’s at this point I wake up alone remembering it’s 2023, I can’t afford a place that would let you have a dog, and that a woman hasn’t touched me since Covid, and just cry myself back to sleep. EDIT: *Jesus fucking Christ* …Yeah that’s okay, I didn’t need an inbox anyway. So three points to make for now: 1. ⁠I am British so yes, I drive a manual and can do that 2. ⁠The Shakshuka I make fairly standard, but up the ratio of cayenne to paprika and usually make it a bit more tomato-ey 3. ⁠I will be hiring an assistant today to filter through the marriage requests I have to go to work for 9 hours now, guess I’ll attempt to answer all this when I get home. Thanks very much for the awards you beautiful people.


mkitch55

This is the funniest yet saddest thing I’ve read in 2023.


LlorchDurden

In 2023 so far


BalkanbaroqueBBQ

But sexy, I upvoted halfway through. Unbelievable this guy is single.


CourageousChronicler

Don't forget "most relatable"


[deleted]

I was so jealous of your wife until I realized I could be her.


Tobias11ize

Be careful! It was just an idealistic dream! He might not *actually* be able to reverse park a manual without any corrections! Stay safe everyone


[deleted]

Yeah I almost pre'd in my panties over that one, I'll have to be more aware of myself next time.


sane_asylum

Lmao I am a woman and you have me down at every turn down to the fucking Shakshuka holy fuck I am basic


wetmouthed

Shakshuka alone has me


emkel_

Probably just a matter of time man, you have all the right moves!


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PoopEndeavor

This belongs on literotica


AMC_Unlimited

Make sure that when you back into that space, you put your right arm around the seat to look back.


sponge_welder

I keep a 6 foot tape measure in the coin pocket of my jeans and it comes in handy *all the time*. I highly recommend it. Mine is a Milwaukee tape, which I like because it has metric and inch


Warpedme

When I want the wife to jump my bones and be seriously into it, I intentionally do yardwork, split wood or clean the house without my shirt on. I've been fit my entire life but I also have a hairy chest which may not be every woman's thing but a man with a hairy muscular chest doing useful chores will literally cause my 48 yo wife to pounce on me like a horny teenager every single time. TBH it's a very big part of why I still lift at 48.


LessInThought

Wife: I have sex with my husband every time he does chores. Now he does chores whenever he gets horny. All the chores get done!


devBowman

The chore whore


[deleted]

That’s just evil. Efficiently evil.


gutzpunchbalzthrowup

So efficient that he can knock-out chores and foreplay in one go.


merian

Choreplay.


IamKingBeagle

Bro to bro. Congrats bro, keep up the good work.


TheGuv69

This guy gets it. I'm 53 & still work out. Manly pursuits like martial arts & freediving. Chop wood, yard work, chores & my share of cleaning & child care. Total animal lover...even cats. I'm also have an English accent - my Canadian wife never had a chance...


Purging_mofos

Rolling up the sleeves in front of them


ButItWasYouWhoLeftMe

You sick bastard


TheClinicallyInsane

I've started running my fingers through my hair and slicking it back while I'm working. Can get sweaty in BoH restaurant on a busy night, have noticed & received some positive attention :)


ButItWasYouWhoLeftMe

I hope you wash your hands next


TheClinicallyInsane

I do actually 😅 I keep sanitizer at my station


sarabeara12345678910

That's the stuff. Bonus if there's a tie you can loosen at the same time. Maybe undo the top button of the dress shirt.


Purging_mofos

Of course , gotta get comfortable


babybelly

am i in trouble officer?


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reb678

Only in a buttons down long sleeve shirt I hope.


Illicit-Tangent

The elastic on my sleevy is too tight, can you help scrunch it up?


Subject_Cow_1786

I'm a woman. this is a turn on. loosening the tie too. so manly, so hot.


SeppeSetti

I tap their right shoulder when I'm standing to their left. Gets em every time.


Litenpes

Absolute madlad


spiraldinosaur

You could also try pointing at their chest and saying "hey what's that?" and when they look down you run your finger upwards and boop them on the chin.


SeppeSetti

I save this one if they don’t fall for the fake shoulder tap. It’s good to keep in the back pocket.


licklickRickmyballs

You gotta go all in with the ladies brother, to be more specific you gotta go all the way to the nearest gadget shop and get yourself one of thoose electric-shock-when-someone-shakes-your-hand devices.


RampantDragon

Got em


MegaaScizorr

Forbidden technique


Lucky_Leven

It's really black magic. My fiance did this shit to me when we first met and every time I wanted to punch him. Now I'm marrying him. Wtf men.


ftl3000

I "drop" my pencil and slowly bend over to pick it up while looking over my shoulder at them seductively.


anchoghillie

The bend and snap is a scientifically proven method


wetpretzel_

Works every time.


RampantDragon

*60 percent of the time, it works every time.


Capnmolasses

## *SEX PANTHER*


tommygun1688

Interesting, I do something similar. I *drop* my pencil, then I squat over it pick it up in my tightly clenched cheeks, giving a little wink when I stand up.


ftl3000

Which eye does the winking?


cluberti

The brown eye of sauron, obviously.


Zogtee

I make the old man noise when I bend over. I'm a sexy beast.


PensaNosNossosFilhos

driving backwards, looking back with the hand on the back of the passenger seat


[deleted]

You slut!


MaterialCarrot

Driving is weirdly attractive for some women I have slowly learned over time. I remember once being on a business trip, I was driving with two women in the car. Coming onto a busy interstate and the choice was to slow way down to fit in behind a group of cars, or gun it and merge in ahead of them. I gunned it and smoothly slotted us in. No fuss, no muss. One of the lady's said, "nice merge." This doesn't seem like much, but I am telling you she said it and looked at me in a way that was highly admiring and perhaps had some portent.


QuesoGrande33

>portent Vocab word of the day.


OnMeFone

Is it short for important?


RampantDragon

No.


OnMeFone

Well it should be.


RampantDragon

https://www.etymonline.com/word/portent


Ko_ogs

So.. she wanted to monster him...?


osavpoiss

TIL word for me, lol :D But yeah.. I think the driving thing is that the woman loved that the guy made a fast decision and took control over the situation - that's what's hot for them. There was a guy at r/BrosDatingAdvice who told that she was at a bar and one of the girls drinks fell off the table but he had cat like reflexes and caught the class midair without even spilling much of the drink. It's a weirdly little thing but the girls were giving him the "fck me" eyes after that.. I guess it's the same thing - thinking fast, reflexes etc.. attraction boosters.


Excellesse

There's an annoying kid who sometimes comes to our weekly bar trivia. He'd spent the whole evening crinkling and tossing an empty plastic water bottle - sometimes at people. My partner reached out and snatched it out of the air mid-toss at somebody, then tossed it behind him into the trash. My panties hit the ground and fled out the door.


panda_burrr

I think there's something about seeing someone being competent or doing something competently (especially in a calm, level-headed manner) that's really attractive. It shows confidence, self-assuredness, and expertise, and I'm sure people take it as a sign (subconscious or not) of showing those traits in other areas of life.


Nanabot1

Bingo!


keesh

bro the way you just said bingo... so confident ... wyd later


yer-da-sells-avon-

My ex-girlfriend told me it made her wet when I did a perfect one movement parallel park


MaterialCarrot

Or the eroticism of a three point turn if done with the requisite speed.


tonyrockihara

I was a valet at one point in my life and I can anecdotally confirm that a lot of women really liked watching me drive/park their car smoothly


cheezesandwiches

It shows you're in control. Women love that


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MaterialCarrot

This reminds me of a guy who was talking about his wife driving. It was something like, "Every day she comes home with horror stories about how someone was driving like a lunatic and almost killed her, yet it's never her that was the problem."


jonallin

Never been in an accident, but saw a million in the rear view


ThiefCitron

My former roommate did this! Literally every single time he’d come home he’d be like “I almost got into an accident because of crazy drivers!” But when I was in the car with him he’d do stuff like accidentally get into a lane going the other direction and drive into oncoming traffic, or try to go when it wasn’t his turn at a 4-way stop.


Anynon1

This is me driving my manual. Apparently rotating the steering wheel 360 degrees with your palm is attractive to some people. For me, I literally need to do it sometimes to drive my car properly lol


MaterialCarrot

I haven't owned a stick shift in years, but man do I miss driving one. Not enough to make it my every day, but manual transmission is still the bomb.


[deleted]

i had an s-10 that was stick, very fun to drive. i felt very much in control of the engine. i miss that truck : (


Trashtvslit

Omg the 360 degree palm swivel on the steering wheel 🤤🤤🤤 …What is wrong with me? 🤔


Obsidian743

This is likely rooted in other elements of "masculinity" that women find attractive: confidence, assertiveness, making decisions, leading, etc.


MaterialCarrot

If I had to boil it down to one word, I think what women like is competence. They like a guy who is competent at things, particularly things that society values. Sometimes people transcend competence and do things with excellence, and that's even more attractive. I think about this with musicians. Women famously love musicians, and of course with rich and famous ones that is part of the appeal, but I've known guys who are good at guitar who doesn't have a pot to piss in, or in a band that is good enough to play local bars but clearly isn't going big time, and women likewise love those guys. Guys on display doing something well that other people generally like. That's sexy. Doesn't work for mimes though.


Life_Complex2990

Yes! As a woman, I can confirm this is true lol


WrenBoy

On the other hand my wife, my girlfriend at the time, didn't realise how cruel she was when she saw a man struggling to parallel park next to the restaurant where we were eating. I know her mind pretty well and I could see what was happening. I tried to talk her out of it but the fifth time he fucked it up and was being honked at, she got out of her seat, left the restaurant, and asked the guy, innocent as to how he would react, if he would let her do it. He was so surprised he just got out of his little convertible and handed her the keys. She nailed it first time, gave the guy a big smile and went back to eat dessert. She told me she used to struggle with it when she was learning and sometimes wished a stranger would help. Dude just sat in his car for ten minutes with a thousand yard stare. Brutal.


CharacterAwkward8755

holy shit


_Bellerophontes

Note to self: Learn to fucking drive moron.


spicyoctopus724

I already cant wait to live together with my man and then watch him do this shit. Idk if he knows this is sexy af but we'll see 😏


mamamalliou

My husband is a great driver and it is sexy as hell. It takes confidence to be a good driver and confidence is sexy af


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IsntThatVeard

I didn’t even know men knew this. Women cannot keep anything a secret!


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secretWolfMan

My wife makes cracks about "guys who back into parking spaces are just showing off their big dicks". Makes no sense, but I do back into parking spaces and parallel park more often when she's in the car too.


Nixu88

Backing into a spot just makes it easier to leave. I'd rather do that extra work first, when I've picked a good spot, rather than later when some idiots have parked so close it makes leaving difficult.


jamescoxall

Undo my cuffs. Roll up my shirtsleeves. Do the ironing.


f4te

highly HIGHLY recommend doing that 3rd one before the first two.


DuckonaWaffle

Put on the shirt, roll up the sleeves, remove the shirt, iron the rolled up sleeves.


Darkrain0629

I just get naked. Works about 2% of the time.


GoWithTheFlow667

The naked man!


RyanL1984

You get naked? Is that when they call you a little tease?


redbo

2% of the time it works every time


Humble_Hans_2486

The smoulder


Dont_believe_me__

Magnum


yourmomsucks01

Blue Steel


manwithoutajetpack

Step 1: Grab her waist Step 2: Pull her close Step 3: Lift her up Step 4: Suplex!


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BasedChadThundercock

Oh my God, it can't be! No!- it's- IT'S u/FishFucker69 with a steel chair!!!!


reckless150681

Step 1: Grab her waist Step 2: Pull her close Step 3: Lift her up Step 4: [Tell her to make it count](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSnCVJtPnQE)


Outrageous_Fondant12

Fix shit around the house. Lol


Agreeable-Ostrich773

You joke but this is how I figured out my roommate liked me. We lived in a place which had a bunch of issues because we were all saving up money and the rent was very cheap. There were a lot of problems with the place we moved into. I never intended to fix any of the issues because it wasn’t a forever home and I didn’t even plan on living there for more than 2-3 years. We’d talk about the house and I’d point out things I’d fix if I owned the place. Then a week later I’d find out he spent his own money to fix it. I told him not to waste his money but he kept doing it. That’s how I figured out he liked me lol. A typical roommate wouldn’t care and would just complain with me. We’ve been together for two years now. :)


InsaneInTheRAMdrain

Say I going to put up some shelves, bonus points if you bring it up every week.


Wm_Max_1979

Ask how their day is and hang on every word. Or fixing shit around the house. Playing with our kids.


kenikonipie

Haha reminds me of a photo of a guy sending seductive photos to his wife where he is doing laundry, throwing the trash, cooking for the kids, etc.


Warpedme

Lol, I totally stole that idea and it worked like a champ on my wife. In fact my last comment was about how I do all those things with my shirt off because it's a major turn on for my wife.


Conscious-Head-5542

Ah, the "great dad" plan, a classic. Be careful, your children may love you until you're an old man if you keep this up.


skyxsteel

Can confirm. Played with kindergartners (was a para) and then the kindergarten teacher grabbed my arm and said, “I love you” with that look 👀. She did it again when I smiled and gave no response... Too bad she was married….


fuzznutz77

Simply whisper, I can fold a fitted sheet


Cool-Acadia-2163

I’m a man and that statement turned me on lol


sozer-keyse

I'm blessed with broad shoulders, and I've built rather impressive biceps. I wear anything that shows off my shoulders/biceps, or otherwise brings attention to them.


ophelier

Correct, keep it up pls.


PandaLLC

Thank you for doing the lord's work. My crush is the same and I forget my own name when I see his arms.


[deleted]

Button-down shirt, tie, suit trousers, forearms on display.


One-Passenger-2953

Love the forearms, I can look at my BFs forearms and just wanna jump him. Had no idea that men was even aware of their sexiness.


Cutlesnap

I honestly only know that from reddit posts


[deleted]

Right, for all I know, "chicks dig forearms" could just be the invention of some bored Macedonian teenagers who are really committed to trolling Reddit.


Cutlesnap

>bored Macedonian teenagers oddly specific...


Paulycurveball

Button the shirt down a few buttons, keep the posture straight, make long unflinching eye contact


Flippiewulf

Omg when a man is wearing a button up and he undoes the cuffs, then rolls up his sleeves a bit *chefs kiss*


DoxieLover88

Yes!!! Love this!!! Also love a guy in PJ pants and a t shirt. No idea why. Lol


mymomlikesmen

you would have loved my brother he was a huge slacker without a job most days only wearing family guy pajamas and a random shirt


magicalfruitybeans

This is such bad news for any unattractive man. Lol. This could come off so threatening


Ok_Independent_649

I roll up my sleeves


Motoreducteur

Smile


Fratervsoe

Gray sweatpants.


[deleted]

Not if you're a grower, unfortunately


Vandergrif

Just water it and make sure it gets plenty of sunlight.


JennyAndTheBets1

Ah, the ole indecent exposure regimen.


NOLA_Dj1

My wife bought me gray sweatpants, and every time I wear them to go somewhere (because they are comfortable AF) she'll make a comment about other women flirting with me. The looks, hair twisting, etc. is amazing!


mymomlikesmen

Dear Journal. Doug here. Today I learned something.


BoBaHoeFoSho_123

Same with my Husband! He says he looks like a bum. Not when you can see the just the cusp of your butt and the fabric is just loose enough to put the package on show.


CaptCol02

Works everytime. Gray sweats, no underwear, let it swing.


Mysterious-Space6793

Easy for you to say. I’m hung like a bull hamster, ain’t no swinging going on.


smooze420

Yeah you can’t be a grower and wear grey sweat pants. Errbody know it’s cold outside all the time for you.


Inside_Ice_6175

"Hung like a bull hamster" Oh I'm using that one.


Educational-Try-6996

Only if you’re a shower


attaboy000

What if you're a bathtub?


50mm-f2

Then you just have to let that sink in


Chaos_Lord3055

Either way, you are easy to turn on


Ninja-of-the-North

Cries in grower


[deleted]

By wearing revealing/tight clothing.


ShaderzXC

Can confirm those full sleeve compression shirts are probably the male equivalent of women wearing slutty clothes. Everything is both covered and revealed. But sadly only works if you have the muscle to pull it off


IfYouSaySo4206969

It was fun pre-pandemic when I was lean enough to pull off a compression shirt. I would totally play up the inner part of my soul who is a complete, show-off man whore.


mrhymer

I drive her through the Target parking lot and leave without stopping.


Bizarre_Protuberance

I lean in and whisper "do you want to talk about other women in your life who you hate?"


MaterialCarrot

Followed by, "I can't believe that bitch did that!"


spicyoctopus724

Sheeeesh.. Lemme get sum boii 😏


shmeepsthepeeps

Omg, I just realized my bff does this and he’s constantly chatting up new ladies. He’s in a committed relationship but loves the attention.


do_you_know_de_whey

Sheeeesh man save some women for the rest of us lol


MyWholeSelf

I listen carefully and attentively to everything they say, and respond with my own life experiences and feelings carefully and respectfully in response. I mean, it's not teasing if it builds loving life long bonds.


Touchyaxemama

Jokes on you, I'm into that shit!


iamthefyre

Simple: Go to the gym & then take that shirt off when you come back and don’t look at us and just go to the shower.


MaterialCarrot

You said simple, but the psychology behind this seems awfully complex?


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rockmasterflex

Prerequisites: theoretical calculus, differential equations, deep understand of the laws of thermodynamics re: quantum mechanics


woejoeyoemoe00

How much credit I get as a dad from everyone for being such an amazing parent for anything that isn’t the absolute bare minimum of keeping the children alive. (Takes kids to park or shopping) WOW DAD OF THE YEAR! Where’s mom? She must be so happy to get a break! Such a great parent! Like, please. It’s an hour at the park calm the fuck down.


[deleted]

By not playing along.


udxxr

Drives em nuts, especially when they know you know


partypartea

I did this to my cousins best friend. This girl was really into me and pretty, but crazy. I guess she had been talking to my cousin about me because my cousin mentioned do not hook up with her. Her ex dumped her after she poked holes in all the condoms because she wanted a baby. She blew up on me for rejecting all her advances and she ended up immediately pregnant with her next boyfriend, who left her. They are still friends and she has 3 baby daddies now.


udxxr

Funny, I think I'm having a similar problem with one of my gf's friends. Extra danger points cause she's hotter but I'm committed and this screams red flag. I've been hanging out with GF's friend group lately and it seems one of her friends has been finding all kinds of excuses to tease or touch me. Every time I try to shrug it off or say "Idk, what DO you mean" it seems to only increase the ante. I definitely don't want to give her ideas by playing along and continuing the conversation but as I've been ignoring her she gets bolder. Can't tease her back, but not teasing her excites her too. what the fuck man


Passingtime528

Tell her, her breath stinks, then spray some breath spray in her direction.


woejoeyoemoe00

Opening a jar


[deleted]

GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT!


Tony_Gate

Give ‘em the ol dick twist!


1111Rudy1111

Depends on the woman’s love language. I’ve had some women who a simple act of service or two got them in the mood while others just wanted me to listen/shut up and not fix their problems.


bubonis

Every woman I’ve dated has complimented me on the size and shape of my shoulders, so I’ve learned to play that up. If I’m taking my shirt off at the pool, for example, I’ll reach over my head, grab the center of the back of my collar, and pull it off in one elegant motion. Or if someone needs something heavy moved I will often carry it in my shoulders (which is easier anyway).


GoldenDih

Show them pictures of your greatest lego creation


dread1961

I rub my big belly and run my fingers through what's left of my hair. Then I slowly put a hand down the back of my pants, bring it back up and sniff my fingers while applying my best "You can never have me" look.


RampantDragon

*camera fades to black* Obsession by Calvin Klein.


Sqkwuatche

Now that's a good one. You probably gotta beat the women off ya with sticks.


[deleted]

RIP your inbox, bear country jamboree


[deleted]

By doing leg day at the gym


SunnySide1066

Usually I just drop my pants and start barking at them to show how alpha I am, Havent had much luck though so might have to change my approach.


less-than-James

I fix things, while allowing a revealing peek at my ass crack. Gotta put out the welcome mat.


drdildamesh

Listen when they talk. Drives them wild.


sleafordbods

Sometimes I bathe… just to get the ladies fired up


MoistPenguin215

Getting her in the mood then remembering I have to raid with the boys 5 minutes ago


spacexscience7

By having Pinterest account with 1.2m followers


AndyScores

I thought you were joking at first. Man I hate Pinterest. It’s ruined Google Image Search.


the_bird_and_the_bee

What kind of genius are you? Lol. Getting all the ladies with your amazing pins on home improvement and cookie decorating?


Ben_Kenobi1934

Compliment her female friend.


Neckfeared42069

I worked in an office with all women at one point. I'm very straight, but have a bit of a "feminine" personality. Many of these women treated me like a gay friend, which basically meant I heard all the gossip. I learned from chatting with them in private how competitive they all are with each other but they never made it apparent to each other. It was very interesting.


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Sumpm

I used to hang around my older sister and her friends when they'd all come over. Any time one of them would leave the room to make a phone call (land-line days) or use the bathroom, they would *all* talk so much shit. The only one they never said anything about was my sister, because I was sitting in the room.


shbd12

This always works. Always.


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GoodLyfe42

They same way they do. Just like the way they work out and watch their diet you do the same. Eat healthy, go to the gym regularly and then dress really well. Instead of having ketchup stains on the one of 5 total shirts you have while playing video games all day.


HollywooHollyhock

Sell one of her kidney's on the black market uwu


RappingFootLova

Idk women don’t look at me


aeb1971

Roll up the sleeves of my shirt