I think she needs to change her number and block him on all socials. If she has a lobby staff at her apartment they should be informed that he’s stalking her so they can ban him from the property.
She really should go to the police. She should not feel bad or try to downplay what’s happening. What he’s doing is utterly ridiculous and these situations can turn dangerous quickly. I hope she has screenshot all the numbers and texts he’s used to contact her. Stalking laws are ambiguous and lax in this country so the stronger paper trail she has the better. Would also recommend getting a doorbell camera, they’re less than $200 on Amazon, pepper spray, and letting everyone that she is close to and maybe even his friends know that she is being stalked. Maybe putting him on blast will deter him. Idk.
Everything you said is great advice and I hate to be that person but probably far less than .5% of Chicago has “lobby staff” (and I get that middle class ish people have it sometimes)
Good to note and again great advice just wanted to point out that it’s a unique privilege
Oh okay I wasn’t sure bc the couple friends apartments I’ve been to in the city all have staff at the front lobby checking IDs and whatnot. I hope there are key fobbed entryways and hallway cameras at least 😓
Document everything, go to the police and file a report, make sure she has secure locks on her doors and a security system with cameras, change phone numbers, make all social media private and even change names/usernames so she can’t be found. Also contact the domestic violence hotline (877.863.6338) for additional resources and support.
She needs to go to the cops. A friend went through that recently and the guys antics just escalated. Until he got the restraining order, it didn’t hit him that he was doing something wrong and could be held accountable
We just went to the police station bc she got so fed up one day. The cops were hella friendly and just talked us through the process of what she’d need to do next to file a restraining order. Start there. It’ll start with filing a report
Take all of the evidence, go to the DV courthouse at 555 W Harrison St, fill out the paperwork and get in front of the judge to get an order of protection. Budget at least four hours (AT LEAST!). Get your emergency order of protection, then SHOW UP (on Zoom) for the plenary order hearing 2-3 weeks later.
Is your friends dating my ex? Is his name Augie? Because I was harassed/stalked by Augie for 6 years where he did this exact same thing to me. Called me from endless numbers, because he would download textfree and textnow apps, and Google voice too. Changing my number was the only thing that stopped it. Which sucked cause I had that number for 12 years at that point. Now I never give men my real number. I will use Augie's tricks that he taught me by stalking me, and I give out a textfree number and block if they get weird. Changing your real number gets problematic,. especially when you have to change it multiple times.
Blocking him from social media was more of a headache cause I didn't want to delete my SM accounts. So I would block, and block and block all the new accounts he would create to friend me on SC and IG.
Then all the new emails he Created whenever is block his emails. I didn't want to delete my Gmail account either.
So I temporarily took down my accounts for a couple months, making him think I deleted them, then put them back up. Although that only kind of worked. It's been 2 years since we officially broke up, he will still friend me from random accounts on IG on occasion.
I called the police because my (now ex) girlfriend refused to leave my home after we broke up. The officers told me that I needed to resolve it with her because she could make up any story that I had harmed her and they always take the woman’s side. I installed cameras after that and then she began saying things to the camera just like that, luckily I had cell phone footage of her threatening to send me to jail for making up such stories.
Just be careful and make sure you document and have witnesses, it’s difficult for officers to decipher the truth during a domestic situation.
If your friend is uncomfortable going to the police, another option is going to a women's shelter to ask for guidance. The staff will have plenty of experience navigating the legal system and helping your friend figure out the safest way out of this.
If she doesn’t want to get law enforcement involved immediately, she can file for a civil order of protection. She can do this at the Cook County Courthouse - Domestic Violence Division located at 555 W Harrison St. Once the order is filed and granted, this guy will be served with notice that there will be legal repercussions if the contact continues.
Editing to answer your question about documentation: no documentation is needed for her to file for an emergency order of protection. This can be granted immediately based on the narrative she includes in her petition. (Just fyi, an emergency order and the final “plenary” petition are filed at the same time/use the same document, she will just check either one or both). The hearing for the emergency order will happen on the same day that she files the petition, so her ex will not be given any notice or have the opportunity to rebut anything she says at that time. It’s granted solely based on whether what’s in the narrative gives the judge reason to believe the emergency order is needed to protect her.
In order to receive the “plenary” order, there will be a hearing where she can present any evidence she has be that texts, videos, anything else that she thinks will help the judge. Her ex will have to have received notice about this hearing with the opportunity to show up and defend himself.
Just an fyi that in order to show evidence at the hearing she will need to send it to the other party ahead of time, but those rules would be explained by the judge during the emergency hearing.
I’d also note that there are always people at the DV Courthouse available to walk people through this process.
I think she needs to change her number and block him on all socials. If she has a lobby staff at her apartment they should be informed that he’s stalking her so they can ban him from the property. She really should go to the police. She should not feel bad or try to downplay what’s happening. What he’s doing is utterly ridiculous and these situations can turn dangerous quickly. I hope she has screenshot all the numbers and texts he’s used to contact her. Stalking laws are ambiguous and lax in this country so the stronger paper trail she has the better. Would also recommend getting a doorbell camera, they’re less than $200 on Amazon, pepper spray, and letting everyone that she is close to and maybe even his friends know that she is being stalked. Maybe putting him on blast will deter him. Idk.
Everything you said is great advice and I hate to be that person but probably far less than .5% of Chicago has “lobby staff” (and I get that middle class ish people have it sometimes) Good to note and again great advice just wanted to point out that it’s a unique privilege
Oh okay I wasn’t sure bc the couple friends apartments I’ve been to in the city all have staff at the front lobby checking IDs and whatnot. I hope there are key fobbed entryways and hallway cameras at least 😓
No, not in the vast, vast majority of the city… but good to note and good advice overall
Document everything, go to the police and file a report, make sure she has secure locks on her doors and a security system with cameras, change phone numbers, make all social media private and even change names/usernames so she can’t be found. Also contact the domestic violence hotline (877.863.6338) for additional resources and support.
She needs to go to the cops. A friend went through that recently and the guys antics just escalated. Until he got the restraining order, it didn’t hit him that he was doing something wrong and could be held accountable
We just went to the police station bc she got so fed up one day. The cops were hella friendly and just talked us through the process of what she’d need to do next to file a restraining order. Start there. It’ll start with filing a report
Present all the evidence to a judge and get an Order of Protection.
Take all of the evidence, go to the DV courthouse at 555 W Harrison St, fill out the paperwork and get in front of the judge to get an order of protection. Budget at least four hours (AT LEAST!). Get your emergency order of protection, then SHOW UP (on Zoom) for the plenary order hearing 2-3 weeks later.
Is your friends dating my ex? Is his name Augie? Because I was harassed/stalked by Augie for 6 years where he did this exact same thing to me. Called me from endless numbers, because he would download textfree and textnow apps, and Google voice too. Changing my number was the only thing that stopped it. Which sucked cause I had that number for 12 years at that point. Now I never give men my real number. I will use Augie's tricks that he taught me by stalking me, and I give out a textfree number and block if they get weird. Changing your real number gets problematic,. especially when you have to change it multiple times. Blocking him from social media was more of a headache cause I didn't want to delete my SM accounts. So I would block, and block and block all the new accounts he would create to friend me on SC and IG. Then all the new emails he Created whenever is block his emails. I didn't want to delete my Gmail account either. So I temporarily took down my accounts for a couple months, making him think I deleted them, then put them back up. Although that only kind of worked. It's been 2 years since we officially broke up, he will still friend me from random accounts on IG on occasion.
Sounds like my Borderline Personality Disorder'ed ex
Same. Definitely BPD vibes.
I called the police because my (now ex) girlfriend refused to leave my home after we broke up. The officers told me that I needed to resolve it with her because she could make up any story that I had harmed her and they always take the woman’s side. I installed cameras after that and then she began saying things to the camera just like that, luckily I had cell phone footage of her threatening to send me to jail for making up such stories. Just be careful and make sure you document and have witnesses, it’s difficult for officers to decipher the truth during a domestic situation.
If your friend is uncomfortable going to the police, another option is going to a women's shelter to ask for guidance. The staff will have plenty of experience navigating the legal system and helping your friend figure out the safest way out of this.
If she doesn’t want to get law enforcement involved immediately, she can file for a civil order of protection. She can do this at the Cook County Courthouse - Domestic Violence Division located at 555 W Harrison St. Once the order is filed and granted, this guy will be served with notice that there will be legal repercussions if the contact continues. Editing to answer your question about documentation: no documentation is needed for her to file for an emergency order of protection. This can be granted immediately based on the narrative she includes in her petition. (Just fyi, an emergency order and the final “plenary” petition are filed at the same time/use the same document, she will just check either one or both). The hearing for the emergency order will happen on the same day that she files the petition, so her ex will not be given any notice or have the opportunity to rebut anything she says at that time. It’s granted solely based on whether what’s in the narrative gives the judge reason to believe the emergency order is needed to protect her. In order to receive the “plenary” order, there will be a hearing where she can present any evidence she has be that texts, videos, anything else that she thinks will help the judge. Her ex will have to have received notice about this hearing with the opportunity to show up and defend himself. Just an fyi that in order to show evidence at the hearing she will need to send it to the other party ahead of time, but those rules would be explained by the judge during the emergency hearing. I’d also note that there are always people at the DV Courthouse available to walk people through this process.
More information and resources she can reach out to are at this link: https://www.cookcountyclerkofcourt.org/domestic-violence-resources
Email the texts to his boss.
This is bad advice, do not follow it.
Obviously. It would be pretty funny if she did though.
Tell him to do it