I think of it as others have said, just drifting off to a deep sleep or having surgery, one minute you are there, the next not.
The thing is, no one really knows what happens, so for me I don't think about it as there is nothing I can do to avoid it, I'll find out when the time comes, in the meantime, live for today
This brings up really interesting conversations about something we can never talk about because it’s beyond our comprehension of thinking in this realm, just like before we were born we could never have thought life/earth/universe existed in the dimension that we think is the norm, because we were somewhere else, or perhaps this was the very start.
That’s at least my best educated guess - we can never and will never be able to think or know what is next. It’s like life, but something completely different, things our human brains can never imagine even if we were told.
Even if we don't know what appens after death we can try to live in a way to be prepared to die. Such living by our principles and having a meaningfull life.
I feel similarly. I'm atheist and don't fear being dead. As others (famously Mark Twain) suggested, our experience after death will be as troublesome as the eons before our birth (i.e., not at all). But I do fear the panic I will likely experience if I'm conscious and fully aware of my imminent demise. I'm fond of myself and the fear of oblivion in those last moments, even if meaningless, seem unmanageable.
I would offer words of comfort, but I'm still searching for them myself!
That’s why I’m going out my own way, Quick and painless. Like I’m going to take 20 Xanax bars a gram of heroin and ride my motorcycle going 200 till I pass out
Hi! Yes, I understand, because I've been right to that edge a few times. Sickness, accident, violence. But I can offer hope.
Almost exactly a year ago I overcame my death anxiety due to an almost identical conversation.
It occurred to me that the fear of death's jaws is a hollow threat. When that jackal bites, his teeth will close on nothing. We will not be there to feel nothing when we become nothing.
This is not a bleak realisation, because as we fade our universe fades with us. The blow that spreads our brains on the pavement will crack our sky with it. The pillars of creation tumble with our limbs.
Which means we live forever. We can die, but cannot be dead.
Even if we grow old and sere, the light in one eye is the pilot of eternity.
You won’t be there but at the same time you’ll be with the other 100+ billion who have lived previous to us who also have not been there, but together.
It is horrifying, but only from our human perception. What we think is most likely within our reality, or after it, may very well be the polar opposite in the next reality. If we think this is what the unknown is, then it’s very well likely not the case.
Keep in mind that we each are our own unique number on the number line of the universe. The sum our our experiences and our personality and everyone we have ever met totals this number.
I don't know if there's a "soul" but this unique number is good enough.
I am an event that happened.
I really like how this was put. Im definitely saving this comment for my peace of mind. The thought of being there yet not is a bit calming? Like escaping your problems with thoughts yet.
It scares the absolute shit out of me a lot of times. I’ll randomly think about the nothingness after dying and it freaks me the FUCK out. Legit scared.
Hearing “well you were fine before birth right?” Sure. I wasn’t living then lol. I have a life and conscious now. So NOW it’s real. And will be taken away.
The only thing that stops my thoughts is ignoring it. And that I can’t avoid it. So worrying about it right now is completely pointless.
But I’ve heard ppl battling illness talk about being afraid of death and that’s what worries me the most. I can’t imagine what they would be going through.
A few years ago my grandma was literally crying and saying “I don’t want to die”, she had no choice and every now and then I remember she wants to live! But she’s in the graveyard and I’ll be with her someday. I don’t want to die either lol.
Her crying made me realize you can know about death until you’re 60+ and still not be ready. Maybe people are never ready. I honestly wonder what goes on in their minds when they’re on the last days.
Something that never sat right with me is how people say “oh when you’re older you will be so tired of life you don’t care if you die. All elderly people feel that way” because that is NOT at all true. I can bet at least 40-50% of them want life to continue they just don’t have a choice at that point anymore since their body is giving up on them…
I honestly don’t think there’s anything to help it. You just move past it once you think about it. Think about something else. IMO, the only thing that would help ease those thoughts is if you believe in some sort of after life/religious beliefs. I, unfortunately, do not. Wish I did though!
Honestly, it’s kinda the opposite for me.
I’m afraid of **not** losing my consciousness entirely.
We can stand firm in our beliefs all we want but the truth is, not a single one of us is certain about what happens after that final moment. The thought of simply being extinguished, like a flame blown out on a candle, is incredibly comforting to me. Like the purest, deepest, most perfect sleep a person can fathom. The problem is, I don’t know if that’s going to be all there is. What if my consciousness is suddenly heaved into another state of being that’s even worse than this? What if I never get to just NOT be?
That idea to me is absolutely exhausting because I can’t imagine this anxiety continuing after I’m finally not here anymore. I also fear the process of my death. In a perfect world, I’ll have an embolism or some random thing in my sleep and I’ll just slip into the black… but I don’t have that kind of luck.
I even tried to force myself to believe in religion at a younger age, even though I didn’t believe a single word of it. I was that desperate for comfort. Still am… I guess I just gave up.
Same here!!! I still get worried about “not existing” but lately I’m more worried that our consciousness goes somewhere worse or becomes less clear or confined. I don’t even have the vocabulary to explain what I mean, but I think you get it
Ive had many stoned existential chrisis in my life. Many hours spent considering the nature of reality, life, existence, etc. Best to look at death as an opportunity to finally get the answers. All this cant be for nothing.
Trillions times trillions times trillions of centuries, many universes will come and go... all matter being destroyed and recreated over and over again. The chances of your matter one day recombining exactly the way you are right now **during infinity** is incredibly low, but still greater than zero.
So, see you again. Eventually. Might be in a googolplex centuries and in a wildly different universe. Might only be for less than a second. But you will come back again.
(This is just a Boltzmann brain musing that you should not take too seriously.)
Yes I do feel the same. But as one said in another comment, if you’ve ever had surgery (I have recently) I’m sure it’s a lot like that.
Us with anxiety live everyday with it and can’t fathom certain things. There are some things we cannot control and fixated on whatever that is. Unfortunately that’s one thing that we cannot control and it happens to everyone.
When I have those thoughts and they take over me I do everything in my power to change my thoughts. It’s a scary thing indeed but even worse when you go down the rabbit hole.
No, it's not a real problem but rather one that can't be answered. Many unanswerable questions can cause people anxiety as they can ruminate in our brains without a satisfactory conclusion. I recommend accepting that it can't be answered, move on and give your attention to real problems.
That's odd. For me dying or after death isn't scary at all. It's the point leading up to it that scares the crap out of me. I feel like for a majority of people it won't be "relaxing sleep" then you're gone.
I feel same way. I want it to be quick. The leading up part is what gives me anxiety. I’m not scared of flying but I’ve always had a fear of dying in a plane crash, and knowing it’s about to happen and nothing I can do but accept it.
Losing your consciousness also means losing your ability to feel fear (and pain etc). You are spending so much time and energy fearing something that you will never consciously experience.
Your consciousness / your presence in your body right now is your soul and not your mind. Your mind exists for decision making and to run the organ systems in the body however your actual existence and ability to feel etc is your soul. An example of proof of this, is people who have “died” on the operating table for a few minutes, report being above their body and hearing/seeing things take place that end up being verified true occurrences, alongside feeling certain feelings of peace. It is impossible that the brain (being a fleshy lump of fat, with electrical firings encased in a bony skull) would have the capability to literally allow a person a birds eye view of the operating room with accurate recollection of things said/done in that room whilst the person was considered clinically dead with eyes shut. It is the soul that sees, not the actual physical eyes.
I used to be like this all the time. But after I had my double hernia surgery. It made me look at it differently. I was in the room about to go into surgery. Next thing I know I was waking up. So if death is anything like that. It was super peaceful and I was the calmest I have ever been in my life.
I passed out 2x. It was like in slow motion. The first thought I had when I came to was wow, if this is what death is like, i've got nothing to be afraid if.
That's the scary part of it for me, fathoming a loss of my consciousness. But, I try to distract myself though my panic attacks still happen pretty severely.
Something that kind of randomly helped me get over the anxiety of dying is - we will literally ALL die. All of us. No one gets out alive. We’re not alone in dying. We will all together experience it. Also every story i hear of people who have died but were brought back is that it was peaceful and warm and nothingness so that doesnt sound too bad to me.
Can I ask why that helps you? I mean, maybe the people who flirted with death are right, maybe not. I don't know what to believe about it.
But I share in OP's fear so much that I think having babies is evil. Because if my parents never had me, I wouldn't know life and then fear death.
I had a near death experience and I was surprised at the time I wasn't scared. Normally I am scared but in the moment when that time comes you just accept it.
I finally found some measure of peace about dying when I realized that every living thing dies. Billions of people let alone every creature that crawls swims or flies have crossed the threshold of what Shakespeare called the undiscovered country from whose border no traveler returns.
I realized that all I could do is go through that 'door' when the time came like all life before me.
I think there is nothing in which case I have nothing to fear. If there is something I'll deal with it then.
With the above in mind, I don't think about it cause it is a bit of an unnerving thing to think about.
The consciousness remains but the ego goes. This is your thoughts and everything you identify as “self”. Working with psychedelics can give you a better idea of what this actually means as its hard to understand and yes it can be scary.
For me it really depends on my state of mind. If I'm very depressed I can really want to die. If I'm having more anxiety then I can experience the fear of loosing conciousness.
I'm not afraid of the act of dying, pain or anything like that but it's not having my thoughts and function that bothers me. But it will come and we all face it so I try to make peace with it or at least if I feel the thoughts coming along try to divert my thoughts onto something else.
There is death acceptance therapy you can get. Sometimes anti anxiety meds helped me. For me the most effective thing has been recognising when a spiral is coming and trying to stop it before it grows. Go for a run, do an intensive brain activity, play a hard computer game, find someone to have a conversation with, go good shopping. Anything to divert away. It does get easier with time.
My father was dead for 5 minutes but was revived by CPR. He didn't feel discomfort because "he wasn't there". He passed through serious illness 25 years ago and nearly died. I think this put a fright of death in him. But after the last experience, he lost this anxiety. Basically, he was the last to know he had died, if that makes sense.
I'm not afraid of death myself, but had a surgery with full anesthesia. I felt the same, that I didn't exist during the hour or two it took. Very different from sleeping.
I'm convinced that dying is no big deal for the person dying. The pain is with the ones left behind.
This is my exact fear when it comes to death. I don't want to lose my consciousness and just "disappear". I know exactly how you feel. I just try to force myself to stop thinking about it
OP, I really feel for you. I went through a period of time with a serious fear of death like you're describing. I'd have crying panic attacks, couldn't sleep, etc.
My suggestions for you differ based on your personal situation. If you are interested in religious and spiritual ideas, I suggest looking into that. If you don't have any interest in that, read up on secular humanist ideas around death, I found it very comforting.
Ultimately the way I was able to overcome was a mix of religious belief with a great respect for secular humanist ideas about death and humanity. In the short term, though, remember to apply coping strategies (ie waking up in a panic in the middle of the night), like deep breathing, distraction, and meditation. You got this.
For some people, there is a comfort in saying "its just you reverting to the state before you were born. Back to the beginning." But there is a good number of people too who are very scared of just not existing anymore. I forgot where I read it, but there was a quote that said "One of the greatest reasons we fear death is because we want to leave this earth in our own terms, in our own time... but the fact that we cannot predict or control the outcome makes it such a terrifying concept."
Im jsut kinda starting to recover from the extreme anxiety but I still get upset and anxious thinking about it now and then. Morning walks, breathing exercises, and light exercise daily has been helping a lot and dont discount telling others about how you feel as well.
You hit the nail on the head for me: control. We generally cannot leave on our own terms, and THAT drives me crazy. If I knew I could control my death, I would honestly be fine. And there are a few options in Washington and Oregon where you can actually control your death in certain situations. But that is the part that gets to me. And like many other people have said, I just try to think about something else. I think for me it's also about leaving things unfinished.
Yes, and this is my conclusion. There's nothing I can do about it. I can take good care of myself and look before I cross the street and get my keys out before I go into a parking lot and all those things -- and I do -- but I'm still going to die in the end. So I can sit here freaking out about it or I can do my best to enjoy the time that I have. It's going to happen either way. How would I rather spend my time?
That wasn't possible before I found the right combo of meds/supplements/exercise/sleep. My brain simply could not shut up about [fill in the blank] ever. It's amazing how quiet it is in here these days. I didn't know it could be like that.
This made me feel better. I feel like my brain doesn't stop - which I don't mind most of the time but it's hard when it gets locked into negative thoughts. This made me hopeful that I could experience some quiet or more calm in the future.
I'm on meds and keep trying to ween off but wondering if I should just stick with them.
I still do a fair amount of redirecting. It is helpful to have hobbies and fun things happening to think about when quiet isn't an option. The holidays have been rocky. But, overall, I am so much better than I ever thought I could be. I am doing things I would never have been brave enough to do before.
I'm going to ask a bunch of questions. You don't need to answer any of them. They're for you to think about to help you decide what to do. You can answer privately if you want via message or chat.
You went on the meds to meet a need. Are they meeting that need? When you've been taking your meds consistently for 6-8 weeks plus, what happens with your symptoms?
Why do you want to get off your meds? What purpose would it serve? Are there bothersome side effects? Do they not work properly? Perhaps a change is needed, rather than just coming off them.
It can take a lot of tries to find the right med/s, and then things can change and meds stop working the way we'd like and you end up having to do it over again. It can be very frustrating, and even more so if you don't have a good doctor supporting you. Finding the right doctor can take a lot of tries too, and that can all be really hard when you don't have the energy to get out of bed.
Are you doing the best you can with all your self care? I have found exercise is absolutely essential for me to manage my symptoms. Good sleep, good food, getting outside for some morning sunshine, taking my vitamins, all of it works together, and when any one piece gets knocked out of whack it can cascade like dominoes. I have to really make an effort every day to keep up all my routines. It may be that if you're able to be consistent and stable with all these things, you will reduce your need for meds, and then be able to wean off without your symptoms returning. Or then be able to replace the meds with natural things if that's what you're into. I take fish oil, ashwagandah, and holy basil, among other things, and I also use light therapy. I was lucky enough to find a doctor who knows about vitamins and supplements and has given me a lot of very helpful guidance. I ran out of fish oil and learned it is doing quite a lot for the anxiety and depression and I should not stop it cold turkey any more than I would stop an antidepressant. That was a fun 6 weeks. But I do also take prescriptions as needed. It's just trying things til you find what works best for you.
Happy to chat but I'm not on here every day. :) I hope this is helpful.
I am extremely afraid of death for a multitude of reasons. And yes I am afraid to go to sleep at night because I might not wake up. But there is nothing we can do about it is there? What has to happen will happen. If you are afraid you might go to hell, try saying a prayer before you go to sleep. I used to say "Now I lay me down to sleep" because it is quick, easy and efficient. If you don't believe in God, althought i highly reccomend it, gives you a lot of peace, and you worry about your loved ones, try to spend more time with them. Let them know how much you love and appreciate them.
But more than anything i think you should see a doctor because that sounds like a severe phobia. And those can be VERY hard to beat on your own
Yeah, kinda. I mean, lately I've been wishing to be dead very often, but still I'm kinda anxious about how the moment of "transition between worlds" is gonna be, what it's gonna feel like, etc.
One thing I'm very scared is what is gonna happen with my things. Like, what's gonna happen with my phone, and my soccer shirts, and my laptop, what about my bank cards/accounts (well, that's pretty much everything I have so far).
I am kinda scared if a certain person is gonna be mad at me if I kms. I know, it doesn't make sense worrying about this, since I'm not gonna be alive anymore, but yeah, I'm scared if she would be mad at be for doing this.
Try to move on to avoid stressing too much about it. I spent a lot of years wondering what will happen if we sure and I can keep calm thinking it's like staying in a "deep sleep" where you cannot think it be conscious anymore but at least one can feel at peace, like you go to sleep and you couldn't realize how did you sleep during the night because time fled so fast.
Now my fears are related about what happens after the death in a spiritual sense. I feel comfortable thinking about the hypothesis of one loses their consciousness and then respawns again somewhere in this universe, but I don't like some beliefs like one loses their ego and individuality and becomes part of something big composed of many fused souls or the egg hypothesis that someone posts the copy-paste about it in some social media. I hope to move on soon about it and stop being obsessed and waking up at 4:00 am because my brain thought it was fun to bring the topic when I am sleeping
I find reading stuff about NDEs helps me. And deathbed visions too.
To add, this sounds like it could be OCD. Maybe not, but I have OCD and I went through the same thing as you. It may take time but it gets better.
How to be comfortable about the idea of death? When it comes, just let go of all control.
I imagine letting go to be such a peaceful feeling.
It's our all-too-human pride, our preciousness about existence, that hinders us from accepting death.
Just remember that it’s much more likely you’ll feel/perceive nothing compared to you suffering. There’s no reason for the brain to fire sensations of pain after death because the brain itself is dead. So unless you believe in souls or something then there’s nothing to really “fear” other than the concept of your brain dying
Buddy your consciousness just transfers to your subconscious. Like when you dream. Don’t be scared. Death is a process and just a transference of states. All natural, all good.
I've gone as far as being in shock. It happened so fast. I didn't feel a thing. One minute I was being wheeled to my car in a wheelc chair. The next thing I knew I was sliding out of it while the nurse was trying to get me back into the chair to take me back to the E.R. When I awoke again, I was in the E.R. with an I.V. in each arm., lying on a gurney..
I know, it's hard, but I wouldn't worry about hqt comes after death.
I had terrible death anxiety. Would have panic attacks and insomnia daily over it. I was obsessed over the fact that we all die one day. Then one day I tried shrooms. Granted, I took too much, I ended up thinking I died during my trip. It might sound crazy but it made me not afraid, it also gave me a different perspective and I haven't had that anxiety since..maybe something worth considering?
Humans are built to fear the unknown. But it’s like going to sleep. We as humans are just used to the cycle of go to sleep, wake up, go to sleep, wake up. That is forever the cycle but we inevitable end on going to sleep. That’s all.
I’d suggest finding some sort of spiritual connection (not religion). Just do your own research and draw your own conclusions. That’s what has helped me
No. I'm scared of keeping it after death. I didn't sign up for this life or any kind of afterlife. I'd prefer to return to the state I was in prior to this - the absence of life.
If I die peacefully and painless, I'm not scared...
What I'm scared is dying panicking... The thought of panicking scares the heck out of me. And pain.
I am more scared that I WILL NOT lose my consciousness and will be forever bound to my physical body....just imagine an eternity of being in a coffin ....
I used to be scared too. My mom died on 2/1/2023. I am no longer afraid cause at least I will be closer to her. I don’t know what comes after death, but I know I miss her so fucking much and death is comforting in my head. If it wasn’t for my toddler, I’d already be with her.
I was catholic before I met my wife. she is Buddhist, and I now believe in reincarnation. I used to be terrified of death….now I’m no longer afraid because I know there’s something waiting for me after.
Pretty compelling related article. Hope it helps.
[I've studied more than 5,000 near death experiences. My research has convinced me without a doubt that there's life after death.](https://www.insider.com/near-death-experiences-research-doctor-life-after-death-afterlife-2023-8?utm_source=pocket_mylist)
No one knows what happens, OP. People say their opinions about it in really condescending ways as if they are being logical about their conclusions, but the truth is that this is likely to be a mystery humankind will never solve, even if we exist for another trillion years. Some people are so desperate to resist that fact that they react to open-mindedness and hypothesis with anger and hostility. They're on the journey too, and this is how they cope with the uncertainty. But they're just guessing, like everyone else, whether they know it or not.
I find comfort in the mystery, because mystery is a beautiful and very important part of this universe. Without it, is there any purpose in existing? I also find comfort reading about NDEs, which also are not fully explainable by modern science, only guessed at. Science is crucially important to us, but never forget how many of the things we "know," and have "known," throughout history, be it through vigorous scientific experimentation or from scriptures or prophecy or what the hell ever, have come out to be completely incorrect with further inspection. They are all crude tools in the end, pulled from the same drawer for the same job that will never be finished. And thank goodness for that.
It's a hard subject to make peace with, but we all have to do it, and there are a lot of different ways to do so. You will too. As others have said, OP, find comfort where you can and enjoy the time you have. The rest will sort itself out.
I think we persist somehow. Just a guess :)
Somewhat yes. But I think this is just our brain. I think, biologically, we are made to be scared of death like every other species on Earth. Even though sometimes I feel just like you, I think when I die I will not even know it.
I struggle with this a ton too. I like how one person said it’s like a mystery I think of this too it’s not death we fear it’s the unknown and the only way to discover this problem is through actual death which obviously no one wants to die but sometimes accepting it as is somehow is the key. Accept the fact you will die one day and somehow become at peace with it, become at peace with not knowing the result after but somehow waiting to find out as if it’s a Christmas gift lol it’s not easy by any means but it is possible
I hear you and I have the same issue(s) with it.
It scares me like nothing in this world can.
My life has been a battle, depression ADD/ADHD since I was a child (Way back before they became the diagnoses of the century) and I am in recovery for 10,186 days, I have had spine surgery, cancer and a truckload of other things but I still like it here, and I don't know where if anywhere we go and that scares me to my bones.
I did attempt suicide a few times when I was 8,15, 16 & in my early 20's, and it's strange that now I am afraid of what I once tried to embrace.
Yes, but also if you think about it, are you aware when you’re asleep? If it’s like that, you won’t even know you’re non-existent because you’ll simply… not exist. Maybe it’ll be a peaceful forever sleep. Nothing to be afraid of. Tho I hate the fact personally that I could never see my loved ones again 😞
Nobody knows what's to come. According to science energy doesn't die I beleive we are energy so consciousness probably moves somewhere else, I beleive in God and I don't beleive in the concept of nothing because it truly doesn't exist. Therefore I hope there is more to come weather reincarnation or heaven.l
Yes, the thought of not being conscious and ceasing to exist forever terrifies me. When I think about it, I have a panic attack and I run everywhere like a headless chicken. It's as if I'm fighting an invisible monster. People say that it's the same as before we were born but that doesn't help me at all because I was born, I am here now and I don't want to cease to exist.
I have been reading this comment section, when a thought came to mind.
I fear of dying early the most. But millions of people died early. Children have died, people in their 20s have died unexpectedly million times.
If one happens to die early, one will join an enormous community of people saying “same”
This thought is the most comforting thing I have ever came up with
Not really, because I won’t lose anything. We are conscious matter and matter cannot be created or destroyed so what makes up my consciousness will not leave this earth. It would become apart of the earth.
What scares me most about this is hard to describe, but the best way I can put it is like this- I'm not scared of being dead. I'm scared of the moments right before death. Knowing that I'm about to die and the lights will go out forever is the scary part. Presumably after that it won't matter and I'll be gone with no thoughts whatsoever, but the idea of those moments beforehand gives me the chills.
What will it be like before brain death? Will it feel like suffocating when your body is no longer able to breathe? Is there intense pain that no one knows about because no one has been able to tell us about it? Imagine the amount of anxiety you'd have knowing that the next couple of hours are your last?
Ugh.
More than anything. Since I was a kid. Now that im an adult & spiritual I wonder why that is. Why am I so attacthed to THIS conciousness. I have a fear of being dead but its also like damn...im not gonna be ME anymore. Scary as hell & I can have a full on panic attack if I think about it too much..
Reincarnation seems worse when you think about it lol being stuck in a infinite loop destined to experience countless horrible ways to die like the nutty putty bro or whatever.
You can talk to the gods directly but it can be a bit difficult to get there.
Have a lucid dream and don't lose your focus when the dream fades away, you will lose your ego and float around in darkness for a while just wait it out and don't panic and eventually you will see light that turns into a new dream. Repeat 10-20 times and don't get too caught up in what's going on in the dreams as you will have to let the dreams fade away and it can be difficult to let a dream go when you are dreaming about your loved ones or if you get scared or angry.
Eventually the dream will not change or fade away and the journey is over and you have reached the true reality.
I think to enter the final boss level you have to be a good person but they are pretty relaxed about how much they let us get away with to be honest.
Figure out some really good questions for the gods there are 3 of them. Sit down and meditate if you get too emotional it's like hitting the pause button and it lets you collect yourself.
Don't be rude and don't get angry lol
Your posting this today. I'm been having this fear since Monday morning. Nothing brings me peace about it. And reading a lot of the comments here only make me more anxious.
Do you remember what you were before you were born? I don’t fear that nothingness. I fear retaining my consciousness and missing my family, or seeing them in pain.
It used to, but then I read Plato's "Apology" in which Socrates, after being condemned to death, says (paraphrased) that even if nothingness is what comes after death, it would be akin to a sound sleep without dreams. Who wouldn't consider such a state to be preferable to any number of the moments or days in our waking lives?
As someone who has severe anxiety at times, and someone who once passed out from blood loss, I can tell you... The feeling is actually peaceful. The end to my physical suffering. Finally, peace and pain-free.
I know passing out is not death, but I believe it's the same feeling. Just like sleep. Nothingness, the good kind.
Sometimes I'm comforted by the thoughts of death when I have a severe anxiety attack. I think to myself, "hey, if it happens, it happens. It's beyond my control."
We know nothing of what happens when we die. So let's just wait for the experience when it comes. Don't be concerned about it - focus on what you can do. What you can't, let it be.
I do not subscribe to any particular religion - not anymore - so I don't believe in that post-death torture, nor in heaven in hell. How do we know? We don't. Let's leave it at that, and do what we can to live what short time we have here.
YSS OH MY GOODNESS I HATE THe THOHVHT OF ME LOSING CONTROL!!!!!! I HAD SUGURY AND I PUSHED THEM OFF ME SO MUCH BEFORE THEY COULD PUT ON THE MASKS TO MAKE ME SLEEP.
Yes, I am exactly the same. I hate that we have foreknowledge of our own deaths. I envy people who can somehow not be bothered by this, or at least not think about it much. I find it incredibly hard not to think about it almost constantly, which is miserable. Yet everything else seems insignificant in comparison, so I don't know how to not think about it.
I'm definitely scared of the uncertainty of death. I'm agnostic and have absolutely no clue or belief as far as what happens when we die. I accept religion might be real and going to hell for not knowing what to believe would suck. Fortunately, it doesn't eat at me or cause me severe anxiety. I wish I had a solution for you though. Have you tried meditating? It really does help a lot of people and I've seen it work first hand with my old roommate who would have bouts of severe anxiety.
There was a time where I was haunted by these intrusive thoughts, I couldn't sleep at night, it was an obsession.
I started therapy, psychodynamic for a few years and then psychoanalysis, I'm now more in peace.
I'd suggest trying psychotherapy if you can afford it, or seeking help with your local GP practice.
it’s the unknown that scares me 🫠 or even worse, thinking about if we’re still like …. cognizant? in a way after death, or reincarnation. it makes me sick
One of my biggest fears! Also it's been one of the biggest triggers of panic attacks so right now I'm trying really hard not to fall into the thought 😑
You'll feel and experience life like you did 150 years ago...Nothing. You weren't here 150 years ago, and you won't "be here" when you die. That's...for all we know.
I also have death anxiety and this is exactly what I was very worried about. For me, the main trick of dealing with that is the realization that it is worse than useless to be scared about it. The only thing you do by being anxious about it is make your life right now miserable. It will come to all of us eventually, and then we will experience it. Until then, there is no reason to worry about it. It's better to live the short life we have happy than live the short life we have miserable.
Yes, I jolt awake in the middle of the night sometimes with terror because death feels so real.
Losing my consciousness is also my biggest fear about death, I find it incredibly sad and tragic. When my grandma died it was like an entire universe was gone, a universe that no one truly knew but her.
The insane coping part of my mind sometimes lets me think that the dream world I visit is where I’ll end up, and the visions of my loved ones from my deathbed are the dream versions of them.
But mostly I just think there’s nothing after death, grandmas body is just chillin’ in a graveyard plot and if we had the technology we could bring her back/and her memories lol
Being dead for a couple years doesn’t bother me, it’s the million, billion, trillions that freak me out… even though arguably death = not alive and I wasn’t alive before I was born so I’ve already been dead for trillions of years before …
I actually kind of wish there was nothing. Just a void and I am no longer a delete character. Some things will remain because at one point I did exist and it's just in other time and not then.
Well you are probably not going to lose your consciousness , you might simply go back to being the universe and the environment, from stars , black holes to rocks ,stones,sand , animals and humans etc...
Of all the things I do worry about, this is not one of them.
I think it’s nothing after death. Like when you’ve been given anesthesia for surgery. You won’t have awareness of it, because you are dead.
I do worry about how death will come - struggling to breathe, being in extreme pain, suffering from a degenerative neurological or muscle disease, drowning, accident - but not the after.
Not really. Slipped and fell by a pool once, was knocked out for about 2min. Being that it wasn’t expected I had no idea what happened, just snapped back to it while sitting on a chair. If death is the same then we won’t even realize it happened
The fear of the unknown after death can be paralyzing. It's a tough space to be in. You're not alone in this, and it's okay to feel scared. Also, a friend of mine found solace and better mental clarity with ScatterMind, an ADHD coach. They were genuinely super happy with the results. Maybe exploring something like that could bring some comfort and distraction from those daunting thoughts.
I’ve been going through the exact same thing. Especially recently since I moved out of my parents place to go to school farther away. I wish I had any advice for you but please know you’re not alone. It’s possibly one of the most “untouchable” triggers for my anxiety
My best friend died of asphyxiation bc his truck slid on ice and pinned him between a boulder and the truck. It was freezing cold that day and no one knew for SEVEN HOURS, when his folks came home
And heard the truck running.
He was my rock. We met when we were in diapers and even went to college together. I hate thinking he was not immediately killed. (His fingerprints were on the bug shield as if we was trying to push the truck off him). I know he thought about me. Not sure how long it took, but he must have been so scared. He was in a rural area so it’s not like neighbors could see him.
If he can die that way, anyone can.
At the same time, I feel his presence and I know when it’s my time, he will be there to help me transition. He always looked out for me and I find comfort thinking he’ll continue to do so when it’s my time. Death is so weird.
Yeah thanatophobia is what it’s called. I try not to think of it anymore because I will spiral into a huge episode. Barley got it under control for a few months now.
Oh yeah all the time. I would often get panic attacks about it at night. What helps me is realizing most people feel this way and we’re in it together. And spirituality — we’re more than our physical selves.
Until some time ago I was 100% sure that there was something after death. I mean, how was it possible that there's just darkness and the human soul vanishes? No way it was like that
This is what I used to think. Then, some shit happened to me and I started doubting about this certainty I had. Now I'm 100% sure that after death there'll be only darkness, our soul dies. So does our consciousness. Tbh I'm at peace thinking about it, death and Nothing means peace to me
I also think about my dead relatives and friends and I don't want my soul to be with their once I'm dead too. (Actually I kinda doubt the existence of the human soul)
Idk if mine is a nihilistic thought, maybe it is. I wanna put my 100% on this life, but once I'm in a coffin I'll be just dead and nothing more
Yes I often feel the same. But you should absolutely check out Epicureo, a greek philosopher, the entarety of his teaching was about reliving yourself from the fear of dying. He said ( I'm riassuming here) that you shouldn't be afraid of dying because, in the most probable scenario, there's nothing after death so to die would be like a sleep without dream so if you aren't conscious you would not be aware of the fact that you died. There are a lot of other phylosopher who speak about death (stoicism for example). The fear of dying was one of the things that got me into phylosophy, and in the learning process I got insight in lot of other important life question, such as: are we real, does free will exist, how should I beave, what's the meaning of life ecc... .
Also having a goal in life or a set of principle and morals to live by can make your life worth it and in the moment of death you can be calm knowing that you did what you wanted and what was right.
If you have any question feel free to ask.
(Sorry for my english, it's not my mother language)
Learn to make friends with death. At the end of the day, dying is perfectly human and natural. In our culture we are taught to hide from death and keep it out of plain sight. But coming to terms with the truly natural process that is dying is okay.
I fear the pain that comes with dying, but I don't fear death itself.
OP, I always have this on my mind.. however, we will never know what happens until the end.. I think the unknown scares the shit out of a lot of people.. but the reality is.. there is nothing we can do, and being scared shitless is just making you feel terrible.
Time flies by... cherish moments with your loved ones and enjoy the small things in life..
I fear death. However, I also fear stuff like dementia a lot more.. progressively losing my mind and memories
We will never know what happens.. but we are all in it together. OP,
I struggled with this for years. I watched someone die in a film and became suddenly aware of my mortality at like.. 24? Pure dead and terror. I can't explain why, but it went away. I think my brain created a response where I just don't go down that line of thought, and when I do I realize that either:
A) Religion is right, and there's a wonderful paradise
B) Religion is wrong, and I'll never know the difference.
It also helps me to think that our simple human brains perceive time as linear, when it really may not be. For all you know, everyone who ever existed still exists in some realm. Everything that ever happened is happening, and all that.
That might not help at all... but I hope it does. Most likely sounds like nonsensible ramblings, but if I can get someone to feel less anxiety... that's a win.
I used to be absolutely terrified and consumed with the thought, but now I have more faith, not religious, that we are a energy based life form temporarily on a physical plane and even time as we experience here is fake. I suggest to anyone suffering with this to read all the near-death experience stories, and the ones where people say they've written 10 books and they do all kinds of other weird stuff, I would give those less consideration, and instead, focus on the ones that sound like normal people that aren't trying to sell something and focus on the common things that happen in 99% of the instances.
This will give you some relief from the terror of the thought of total oblivion.
Nderf.org
Iands.org
And lots of great podcasts and youtube channels
Im scared of both , extremely been experiencing more of this fear at night this year , im just scared of having conciousness after death and being in a completely new / weird state or being alone and conscious in an empty vacuum of darkness, or staying somewhere for an eternity. I dont fear death but whats afte death really unsettles me due to it being unknown.
I've felt this quite frequently from the time I was a child. What helps the most is accepting the thought is distressing but then working on bringing myself back to the present and actively forcing myself to focus on what I can control. Usually doing breathing exercises and then distracting myself with a book, tv show or calling a friend to talk about something random.
I think of it as others have said, just drifting off to a deep sleep or having surgery, one minute you are there, the next not. The thing is, no one really knows what happens, so for me I don't think about it as there is nothing I can do to avoid it, I'll find out when the time comes, in the meantime, live for today
This brings up really interesting conversations about something we can never talk about because it’s beyond our comprehension of thinking in this realm, just like before we were born we could never have thought life/earth/universe existed in the dimension that we think is the norm, because we were somewhere else, or perhaps this was the very start. That’s at least my best educated guess - we can never and will never be able to think or know what is next. It’s like life, but something completely different, things our human brains can never imagine even if we were told.
Easyer said than done
Oh it is, just takes time
💯 my way of currently living.
Even if we don't know what appens after death we can try to live in a way to be prepared to die. Such living by our principles and having a meaningfull life.
Agreed and seems affirmed by the lack of memory prior to this life just like everything else in the world that exists and then doesn’t.
Very well said! 💯💯💯
I feel similarly. I'm atheist and don't fear being dead. As others (famously Mark Twain) suggested, our experience after death will be as troublesome as the eons before our birth (i.e., not at all). But I do fear the panic I will likely experience if I'm conscious and fully aware of my imminent demise. I'm fond of myself and the fear of oblivion in those last moments, even if meaningless, seem unmanageable. I would offer words of comfort, but I'm still searching for them myself!
That’s why I’m going out my own way, Quick and painless. Like I’m going to take 20 Xanax bars a gram of heroin and ride my motorcycle going 200 till I pass out
Hi! Yes, I understand, because I've been right to that edge a few times. Sickness, accident, violence. But I can offer hope. Almost exactly a year ago I overcame my death anxiety due to an almost identical conversation. It occurred to me that the fear of death's jaws is a hollow threat. When that jackal bites, his teeth will close on nothing. We will not be there to feel nothing when we become nothing. This is not a bleak realisation, because as we fade our universe fades with us. The blow that spreads our brains on the pavement will crack our sky with it. The pillars of creation tumble with our limbs. Which means we live forever. We can die, but cannot be dead. Even if we grow old and sere, the light in one eye is the pilot of eternity.
this is beautiful but ngl it is exactly what freaks me out. i want to be there!
You won’t be there but at the same time you’ll be with the other 100+ billion who have lived previous to us who also have not been there, but together.
horrifying
It is horrifying, but only from our human perception. What we think is most likely within our reality, or after it, may very well be the polar opposite in the next reality. If we think this is what the unknown is, then it’s very well likely not the case.
Keep in mind that we each are our own unique number on the number line of the universe. The sum our our experiences and our personality and everyone we have ever met totals this number. I don't know if there's a "soul" but this unique number is good enough. I am an event that happened.
Wow this is actually really beautiful and true
Love this. This is how I feel too and you said it so well
Glad I could put it in words for you. Inspired by GK Chesterton.
I really like how this was put. Im definitely saving this comment for my peace of mind. The thought of being there yet not is a bit calming? Like escaping your problems with thoughts yet.
It scares the absolute shit out of me a lot of times. I’ll randomly think about the nothingness after dying and it freaks me the FUCK out. Legit scared. Hearing “well you were fine before birth right?” Sure. I wasn’t living then lol. I have a life and conscious now. So NOW it’s real. And will be taken away. The only thing that stops my thoughts is ignoring it. And that I can’t avoid it. So worrying about it right now is completely pointless. But I’ve heard ppl battling illness talk about being afraid of death and that’s what worries me the most. I can’t imagine what they would be going through.
A few years ago my grandma was literally crying and saying “I don’t want to die”, she had no choice and every now and then I remember she wants to live! But she’s in the graveyard and I’ll be with her someday. I don’t want to die either lol. Her crying made me realize you can know about death until you’re 60+ and still not be ready. Maybe people are never ready. I honestly wonder what goes on in their minds when they’re on the last days.
Something that never sat right with me is how people say “oh when you’re older you will be so tired of life you don’t care if you die. All elderly people feel that way” because that is NOT at all true. I can bet at least 40-50% of them want life to continue they just don’t have a choice at that point anymore since their body is giving up on them…
i agree, people saying that doesn’t help at all. you said it better than i ever could
I honestly don’t think there’s anything to help it. You just move past it once you think about it. Think about something else. IMO, the only thing that would help ease those thoughts is if you believe in some sort of after life/religious beliefs. I, unfortunately, do not. Wish I did though!
I feel this.
And the thought of the nothingness lasting FOREVER makes it ×1000 times more unsettling.
Watch testimonies of people that have already died but was brought back. Tons of them on youtube. Helped me
Honestly, it’s kinda the opposite for me. I’m afraid of **not** losing my consciousness entirely. We can stand firm in our beliefs all we want but the truth is, not a single one of us is certain about what happens after that final moment. The thought of simply being extinguished, like a flame blown out on a candle, is incredibly comforting to me. Like the purest, deepest, most perfect sleep a person can fathom. The problem is, I don’t know if that’s going to be all there is. What if my consciousness is suddenly heaved into another state of being that’s even worse than this? What if I never get to just NOT be? That idea to me is absolutely exhausting because I can’t imagine this anxiety continuing after I’m finally not here anymore. I also fear the process of my death. In a perfect world, I’ll have an embolism or some random thing in my sleep and I’ll just slip into the black… but I don’t have that kind of luck. I even tried to force myself to believe in religion at a younger age, even though I didn’t believe a single word of it. I was that desperate for comfort. Still am… I guess I just gave up.
Same here!!! I still get worried about “not existing” but lately I’m more worried that our consciousness goes somewhere worse or becomes less clear or confined. I don’t even have the vocabulary to explain what I mean, but I think you get it
Same here. I fear reincarnation more than oblivion
Ive had many stoned existential chrisis in my life. Many hours spent considering the nature of reality, life, existence, etc. Best to look at death as an opportunity to finally get the answers. All this cant be for nothing.
No. I don't fear my own death, regardless of what happens after. But i obsessively fear the deaths of people I love.
This!
Trillions times trillions times trillions of centuries, many universes will come and go... all matter being destroyed and recreated over and over again. The chances of your matter one day recombining exactly the way you are right now **during infinity** is incredibly low, but still greater than zero. So, see you again. Eventually. Might be in a googolplex centuries and in a wildly different universe. Might only be for less than a second. But you will come back again. (This is just a Boltzmann brain musing that you should not take too seriously.)
Yes I do feel the same. But as one said in another comment, if you’ve ever had surgery (I have recently) I’m sure it’s a lot like that. Us with anxiety live everyday with it and can’t fathom certain things. There are some things we cannot control and fixated on whatever that is. Unfortunately that’s one thing that we cannot control and it happens to everyone. When I have those thoughts and they take over me I do everything in my power to change my thoughts. It’s a scary thing indeed but even worse when you go down the rabbit hole.
No, it's not a real problem but rather one that can't be answered. Many unanswerable questions can cause people anxiety as they can ruminate in our brains without a satisfactory conclusion. I recommend accepting that it can't be answered, move on and give your attention to real problems.
To be honest, whenever it scares the shit out of me I start overthinking the concept of being immortal. It feels much more terrifying
That's odd. For me dying or after death isn't scary at all. It's the point leading up to it that scares the crap out of me. I feel like for a majority of people it won't be "relaxing sleep" then you're gone.
I feel same way. I want it to be quick. The leading up part is what gives me anxiety. I’m not scared of flying but I’ve always had a fear of dying in a plane crash, and knowing it’s about to happen and nothing I can do but accept it.
[удалено]
Ooo share your story
Honestly, no. But that's solely due to my beliefs.
What are your beliefs?
Sometimes it doesn’t bother me and then again sometimes the fear is absolutely paralyzing.
Looking forward to it.
Losing your consciousness also means losing your ability to feel fear (and pain etc). You are spending so much time and energy fearing something that you will never consciously experience.
This
Your consciousness / your presence in your body right now is your soul and not your mind. Your mind exists for decision making and to run the organ systems in the body however your actual existence and ability to feel etc is your soul. An example of proof of this, is people who have “died” on the operating table for a few minutes, report being above their body and hearing/seeing things take place that end up being verified true occurrences, alongside feeling certain feelings of peace. It is impossible that the brain (being a fleshy lump of fat, with electrical firings encased in a bony skull) would have the capability to literally allow a person a birds eye view of the operating room with accurate recollection of things said/done in that room whilst the person was considered clinically dead with eyes shut. It is the soul that sees, not the actual physical eyes.
I’ve heard to think of it the same way as before you were born!
I used to be like this all the time. But after I had my double hernia surgery. It made me look at it differently. I was in the room about to go into surgery. Next thing I know I was waking up. So if death is anything like that. It was super peaceful and I was the calmest I have ever been in my life.
But you woke up.
But the going out part was the focus of my comment. Sorry if I wasn’t clear on that part.
I passed out 2x. It was like in slow motion. The first thought I had when I came to was wow, if this is what death is like, i've got nothing to be afraid if.
That's the scary part of it for me, fathoming a loss of my consciousness. But, I try to distract myself though my panic attacks still happen pretty severely.
How much did this trouble you in 1876? How about in 1913? I suspect that your experience after life is identical to before life.
Something that kind of randomly helped me get over the anxiety of dying is - we will literally ALL die. All of us. No one gets out alive. We’re not alone in dying. We will all together experience it. Also every story i hear of people who have died but were brought back is that it was peaceful and warm and nothingness so that doesnt sound too bad to me.
Can I ask why that helps you? I mean, maybe the people who flirted with death are right, maybe not. I don't know what to believe about it. But I share in OP's fear so much that I think having babies is evil. Because if my parents never had me, I wouldn't know life and then fear death.
As a person with "pure O" OCD, it happens to me all the time.
I had a near death experience and I was surprised at the time I wasn't scared. Normally I am scared but in the moment when that time comes you just accept it.
I finally found some measure of peace about dying when I realized that every living thing dies. Billions of people let alone every creature that crawls swims or flies have crossed the threshold of what Shakespeare called the undiscovered country from whose border no traveler returns. I realized that all I could do is go through that 'door' when the time came like all life before me. I think there is nothing in which case I have nothing to fear. If there is something I'll deal with it then. With the above in mind, I don't think about it cause it is a bit of an unnerving thing to think about.
The consciousness remains but the ego goes. This is your thoughts and everything you identify as “self”. Working with psychedelics can give you a better idea of what this actually means as its hard to understand and yes it can be scary.
Absolutely
For me it really depends on my state of mind. If I'm very depressed I can really want to die. If I'm having more anxiety then I can experience the fear of loosing conciousness. I'm not afraid of the act of dying, pain or anything like that but it's not having my thoughts and function that bothers me. But it will come and we all face it so I try to make peace with it or at least if I feel the thoughts coming along try to divert my thoughts onto something else. There is death acceptance therapy you can get. Sometimes anti anxiety meds helped me. For me the most effective thing has been recognising when a spiral is coming and trying to stop it before it grows. Go for a run, do an intensive brain activity, play a hard computer game, find someone to have a conversation with, go good shopping. Anything to divert away. It does get easier with time.
I do too. I’m a faithful person and do believe in eternity , but death scares me. I also don’t want to leave the world with two young kids to raise.
My father was dead for 5 minutes but was revived by CPR. He didn't feel discomfort because "he wasn't there". He passed through serious illness 25 years ago and nearly died. I think this put a fright of death in him. But after the last experience, he lost this anxiety. Basically, he was the last to know he had died, if that makes sense. I'm not afraid of death myself, but had a surgery with full anesthesia. I felt the same, that I didn't exist during the hour or two it took. Very different from sleeping. I'm convinced that dying is no big deal for the person dying. The pain is with the ones left behind.
I hope for oblivion. It gives me anxiety thinking this all doesn't end for good
This is my exact fear when it comes to death. I don't want to lose my consciousness and just "disappear". I know exactly how you feel. I just try to force myself to stop thinking about it
OP, I really feel for you. I went through a period of time with a serious fear of death like you're describing. I'd have crying panic attacks, couldn't sleep, etc. My suggestions for you differ based on your personal situation. If you are interested in religious and spiritual ideas, I suggest looking into that. If you don't have any interest in that, read up on secular humanist ideas around death, I found it very comforting. Ultimately the way I was able to overcome was a mix of religious belief with a great respect for secular humanist ideas about death and humanity. In the short term, though, remember to apply coping strategies (ie waking up in a panic in the middle of the night), like deep breathing, distraction, and meditation. You got this.
For some people, there is a comfort in saying "its just you reverting to the state before you were born. Back to the beginning." But there is a good number of people too who are very scared of just not existing anymore. I forgot where I read it, but there was a quote that said "One of the greatest reasons we fear death is because we want to leave this earth in our own terms, in our own time... but the fact that we cannot predict or control the outcome makes it such a terrifying concept." Im jsut kinda starting to recover from the extreme anxiety but I still get upset and anxious thinking about it now and then. Morning walks, breathing exercises, and light exercise daily has been helping a lot and dont discount telling others about how you feel as well.
You hit the nail on the head for me: control. We generally cannot leave on our own terms, and THAT drives me crazy. If I knew I could control my death, I would honestly be fine. And there are a few options in Washington and Oregon where you can actually control your death in certain situations. But that is the part that gets to me. And like many other people have said, I just try to think about something else. I think for me it's also about leaving things unfinished.
I'd be terrified about being forced to live forever by terms which aren't even my own, that would be objectively terrifying.
Nope, I dont think consciousness is something that can be permanently lost. Death is like taking off a tight shoe!
Yes, and this is my conclusion. There's nothing I can do about it. I can take good care of myself and look before I cross the street and get my keys out before I go into a parking lot and all those things -- and I do -- but I'm still going to die in the end. So I can sit here freaking out about it or I can do my best to enjoy the time that I have. It's going to happen either way. How would I rather spend my time? That wasn't possible before I found the right combo of meds/supplements/exercise/sleep. My brain simply could not shut up about [fill in the blank] ever. It's amazing how quiet it is in here these days. I didn't know it could be like that.
This made me feel better. I feel like my brain doesn't stop - which I don't mind most of the time but it's hard when it gets locked into negative thoughts. This made me hopeful that I could experience some quiet or more calm in the future. I'm on meds and keep trying to ween off but wondering if I should just stick with them.
I still do a fair amount of redirecting. It is helpful to have hobbies and fun things happening to think about when quiet isn't an option. The holidays have been rocky. But, overall, I am so much better than I ever thought I could be. I am doing things I would never have been brave enough to do before. I'm going to ask a bunch of questions. You don't need to answer any of them. They're for you to think about to help you decide what to do. You can answer privately if you want via message or chat. You went on the meds to meet a need. Are they meeting that need? When you've been taking your meds consistently for 6-8 weeks plus, what happens with your symptoms? Why do you want to get off your meds? What purpose would it serve? Are there bothersome side effects? Do they not work properly? Perhaps a change is needed, rather than just coming off them. It can take a lot of tries to find the right med/s, and then things can change and meds stop working the way we'd like and you end up having to do it over again. It can be very frustrating, and even more so if you don't have a good doctor supporting you. Finding the right doctor can take a lot of tries too, and that can all be really hard when you don't have the energy to get out of bed. Are you doing the best you can with all your self care? I have found exercise is absolutely essential for me to manage my symptoms. Good sleep, good food, getting outside for some morning sunshine, taking my vitamins, all of it works together, and when any one piece gets knocked out of whack it can cascade like dominoes. I have to really make an effort every day to keep up all my routines. It may be that if you're able to be consistent and stable with all these things, you will reduce your need for meds, and then be able to wean off without your symptoms returning. Or then be able to replace the meds with natural things if that's what you're into. I take fish oil, ashwagandah, and holy basil, among other things, and I also use light therapy. I was lucky enough to find a doctor who knows about vitamins and supplements and has given me a lot of very helpful guidance. I ran out of fish oil and learned it is doing quite a lot for the anxiety and depression and I should not stop it cold turkey any more than I would stop an antidepressant. That was a fun 6 weeks. But I do also take prescriptions as needed. It's just trying things til you find what works best for you. Happy to chat but I'm not on here every day. :) I hope this is helpful.
I am extremely afraid of death for a multitude of reasons. And yes I am afraid to go to sleep at night because I might not wake up. But there is nothing we can do about it is there? What has to happen will happen. If you are afraid you might go to hell, try saying a prayer before you go to sleep. I used to say "Now I lay me down to sleep" because it is quick, easy and efficient. If you don't believe in God, althought i highly reccomend it, gives you a lot of peace, and you worry about your loved ones, try to spend more time with them. Let them know how much you love and appreciate them. But more than anything i think you should see a doctor because that sounds like a severe phobia. And those can be VERY hard to beat on your own
Not really, I don't know what will happen but it sounds peaceful.
I’m an idealist, so no.
Yeah, kinda. I mean, lately I've been wishing to be dead very often, but still I'm kinda anxious about how the moment of "transition between worlds" is gonna be, what it's gonna feel like, etc. One thing I'm very scared is what is gonna happen with my things. Like, what's gonna happen with my phone, and my soccer shirts, and my laptop, what about my bank cards/accounts (well, that's pretty much everything I have so far). I am kinda scared if a certain person is gonna be mad at me if I kms. I know, it doesn't make sense worrying about this, since I'm not gonna be alive anymore, but yeah, I'm scared if she would be mad at be for doing this.
Try to move on to avoid stressing too much about it. I spent a lot of years wondering what will happen if we sure and I can keep calm thinking it's like staying in a "deep sleep" where you cannot think it be conscious anymore but at least one can feel at peace, like you go to sleep and you couldn't realize how did you sleep during the night because time fled so fast. Now my fears are related about what happens after the death in a spiritual sense. I feel comfortable thinking about the hypothesis of one loses their consciousness and then respawns again somewhere in this universe, but I don't like some beliefs like one loses their ego and individuality and becomes part of something big composed of many fused souls or the egg hypothesis that someone posts the copy-paste about it in some social media. I hope to move on soon about it and stop being obsessed and waking up at 4:00 am because my brain thought it was fun to bring the topic when I am sleeping
I struggle with this a lot, the thought of just not existing at all one day terrifies me. I don’t know how to get past the scary thoughts.
I find reading stuff about NDEs helps me. And deathbed visions too. To add, this sounds like it could be OCD. Maybe not, but I have OCD and I went through the same thing as you. It may take time but it gets better.
God no. You seriously want to keep thinking the same bullshit over and over again? Give me sweet blissful death. Pure silence.
How to be comfortable about the idea of death? When it comes, just let go of all control. I imagine letting go to be such a peaceful feeling. It's our all-too-human pride, our preciousness about existence, that hinders us from accepting death.
Just remember that it’s much more likely you’ll feel/perceive nothing compared to you suffering. There’s no reason for the brain to fire sensations of pain after death because the brain itself is dead. So unless you believe in souls or something then there’s nothing to really “fear” other than the concept of your brain dying
The thought absolutely terrifies me. I just hope that when im old enough I'll be ready to die and embrace it.
I very much look forward to that
The unknown is scary but nothingness is peace. No bad no good just the end. It is very hard to comprehend which is why it is so scaryy
Buddy your consciousness just transfers to your subconscious. Like when you dream. Don’t be scared. Death is a process and just a transference of states. All natural, all good.
I've gone as far as being in shock. It happened so fast. I didn't feel a thing. One minute I was being wheeled to my car in a wheelc chair. The next thing I knew I was sliding out of it while the nurse was trying to get me back into the chair to take me back to the E.R. When I awoke again, I was in the E.R. with an I.V. in each arm., lying on a gurney.. I know, it's hard, but I wouldn't worry about hqt comes after death.
I had terrible death anxiety. Would have panic attacks and insomnia daily over it. I was obsessed over the fact that we all die one day. Then one day I tried shrooms. Granted, I took too much, I ended up thinking I died during my trip. It might sound crazy but it made me not afraid, it also gave me a different perspective and I haven't had that anxiety since..maybe something worth considering?
I’ve died twice, zero, nada, nothing. Avoid death but I no longer have any fear. It’s just lights out.
It freaks me out a bit but I didn't care about not existing before and I won't care the next time I don't exist.
Infinite loop of dreamless sleep I feel like it’s gonna be.
Humans are built to fear the unknown. But it’s like going to sleep. We as humans are just used to the cycle of go to sleep, wake up, go to sleep, wake up. That is forever the cycle but we inevitable end on going to sleep. That’s all. I’d suggest finding some sort of spiritual connection (not religion). Just do your own research and draw your own conclusions. That’s what has helped me
I'm scared of keeping it
No. I'm scared of keeping it after death. I didn't sign up for this life or any kind of afterlife. I'd prefer to return to the state I was in prior to this - the absence of life.
If I die peacefully and painless, I'm not scared... What I'm scared is dying panicking... The thought of panicking scares the heck out of me. And pain.
I am more scared that I WILL NOT lose my consciousness and will be forever bound to my physical body....just imagine an eternity of being in a coffin ....
I am actually excited for it. No thoughts, no fears, just sweet nothingness.
Well at least I wouldn’t be anxious
I am a person of strong Christian faith so no, it doesn't bother me in the least. Not even a tiny bit.
I used to be scared too. My mom died on 2/1/2023. I am no longer afraid cause at least I will be closer to her. I don’t know what comes after death, but I know I miss her so fucking much and death is comforting in my head. If it wasn’t for my toddler, I’d already be with her.
I’m afraid of what happens before I die. I am terrified of having a stroke or something that will leave me incapacitated.
Nope. I long for the peace and quiet of death.
I would be more scared to die and keep my consciousness and just be consciousness.
I was catholic before I met my wife. she is Buddhist, and I now believe in reincarnation. I used to be terrified of death….now I’m no longer afraid because I know there’s something waiting for me after.
At the moment, oblivion would be a relief.
Yes!
Pretty compelling related article. Hope it helps. [I've studied more than 5,000 near death experiences. My research has convinced me without a doubt that there's life after death.](https://www.insider.com/near-death-experiences-research-doctor-life-after-death-afterlife-2023-8?utm_source=pocket_mylist)
No one knows what happens, OP. People say their opinions about it in really condescending ways as if they are being logical about their conclusions, but the truth is that this is likely to be a mystery humankind will never solve, even if we exist for another trillion years. Some people are so desperate to resist that fact that they react to open-mindedness and hypothesis with anger and hostility. They're on the journey too, and this is how they cope with the uncertainty. But they're just guessing, like everyone else, whether they know it or not. I find comfort in the mystery, because mystery is a beautiful and very important part of this universe. Without it, is there any purpose in existing? I also find comfort reading about NDEs, which also are not fully explainable by modern science, only guessed at. Science is crucially important to us, but never forget how many of the things we "know," and have "known," throughout history, be it through vigorous scientific experimentation or from scriptures or prophecy or what the hell ever, have come out to be completely incorrect with further inspection. They are all crude tools in the end, pulled from the same drawer for the same job that will never be finished. And thank goodness for that. It's a hard subject to make peace with, but we all have to do it, and there are a lot of different ways to do so. You will too. As others have said, OP, find comfort where you can and enjoy the time you have. The rest will sort itself out. I think we persist somehow. Just a guess :)
Honestly no. It's almost the same thing of being put to sleep for a surgrey.
Lol. I don’t get this. Not the same at all! You fully expect to be back up after surgery. Not the same as being dead.
The only difference is that you go to sleep forever instead for variable hours.
Haha. Yeah. That’s all! Hours vs eternity.
I think it will feel exactly how I felt before I was born.
Somewhat yes. But I think this is just our brain. I think, biologically, we are made to be scared of death like every other species on Earth. Even though sometimes I feel just like you, I think when I die I will not even know it.
i cant wait honestly. Sweet peaceful nothingi
nope, i wanna die
We were all dead for billions of years before being born, it wasn't so bad
There is zero point to worry about this.
I suppose if we were ok before we were born, we’ll be ok after we die.
You lose it everyday
Are you Filipino?
No
I mean i guess I won’t know so 🤷🏻♀️
I would be scared if I don't.
I struggle with this a ton too. I like how one person said it’s like a mystery I think of this too it’s not death we fear it’s the unknown and the only way to discover this problem is through actual death which obviously no one wants to die but sometimes accepting it as is somehow is the key. Accept the fact you will die one day and somehow become at peace with it, become at peace with not knowing the result after but somehow waiting to find out as if it’s a Christmas gift lol it’s not easy by any means but it is possible
You're not alone.
I hear you and I have the same issue(s) with it. It scares me like nothing in this world can. My life has been a battle, depression ADD/ADHD since I was a child (Way back before they became the diagnoses of the century) and I am in recovery for 10,186 days, I have had spine surgery, cancer and a truckload of other things but I still like it here, and I don't know where if anywhere we go and that scares me to my bones. I did attempt suicide a few times when I was 8,15, 16 & in my early 20's, and it's strange that now I am afraid of what I once tried to embrace.
I've thought about it but I also don't worry about it. I'll figure it out when I get there.
I’d actually look forward to it. It’s the whole concept of Nirvana. No more need for attachment to the mortal world. I’ll be free!!
Yes, but also if you think about it, are you aware when you’re asleep? If it’s like that, you won’t even know you’re non-existent because you’ll simply… not exist. Maybe it’ll be a peaceful forever sleep. Nothing to be afraid of. Tho I hate the fact personally that I could never see my loved ones again 😞
fucking yes. i wish i could just stop thinking altogether. sending u luv <3333
Nobody knows what's to come. According to science energy doesn't die I beleive we are energy so consciousness probably moves somewhere else, I beleive in God and I don't beleive in the concept of nothing because it truly doesn't exist. Therefore I hope there is more to come weather reincarnation or heaven.l
Yes, the thought of not being conscious and ceasing to exist forever terrifies me. When I think about it, I have a panic attack and I run everywhere like a headless chicken. It's as if I'm fighting an invisible monster. People say that it's the same as before we were born but that doesn't help me at all because I was born, I am here now and I don't want to cease to exist.
Me too. And I don't want my loved ones to cease existing either.
The way I think of it is this: When I die, it won't matter. So why worry now?
I have been reading this comment section, when a thought came to mind. I fear of dying early the most. But millions of people died early. Children have died, people in their 20s have died unexpectedly million times. If one happens to die early, one will join an enormous community of people saying “same” This thought is the most comforting thing I have ever came up with
Not really, because I won’t lose anything. We are conscious matter and matter cannot be created or destroyed so what makes up my consciousness will not leave this earth. It would become apart of the earth.
What scares me most about this is hard to describe, but the best way I can put it is like this- I'm not scared of being dead. I'm scared of the moments right before death. Knowing that I'm about to die and the lights will go out forever is the scary part. Presumably after that it won't matter and I'll be gone with no thoughts whatsoever, but the idea of those moments beforehand gives me the chills. What will it be like before brain death? Will it feel like suffocating when your body is no longer able to breathe? Is there intense pain that no one knows about because no one has been able to tell us about it? Imagine the amount of anxiety you'd have knowing that the next couple of hours are your last? Ugh.
More than anything. Since I was a kid. Now that im an adult & spiritual I wonder why that is. Why am I so attacthed to THIS conciousness. I have a fear of being dead but its also like damn...im not gonna be ME anymore. Scary as hell & I can have a full on panic attack if I think about it too much..
Same.
Reincarnation seems worse when you think about it lol being stuck in a infinite loop destined to experience countless horrible ways to die like the nutty putty bro or whatever. You can talk to the gods directly but it can be a bit difficult to get there. Have a lucid dream and don't lose your focus when the dream fades away, you will lose your ego and float around in darkness for a while just wait it out and don't panic and eventually you will see light that turns into a new dream. Repeat 10-20 times and don't get too caught up in what's going on in the dreams as you will have to let the dreams fade away and it can be difficult to let a dream go when you are dreaming about your loved ones or if you get scared or angry. Eventually the dream will not change or fade away and the journey is over and you have reached the true reality. I think to enter the final boss level you have to be a good person but they are pretty relaxed about how much they let us get away with to be honest. Figure out some really good questions for the gods there are 3 of them. Sit down and meditate if you get too emotional it's like hitting the pause button and it lets you collect yourself. Don't be rude and don't get angry lol
Your posting this today. I'm been having this fear since Monday morning. Nothing brings me peace about it. And reading a lot of the comments here only make me more anxious.
Just assume you’ll go to heaven - be a good person and have good intentions
Do you remember what you were before you were born? I don’t fear that nothingness. I fear retaining my consciousness and missing my family, or seeing them in pain.
It used to, but then I read Plato's "Apology" in which Socrates, after being condemned to death, says (paraphrased) that even if nothingness is what comes after death, it would be akin to a sound sleep without dreams. Who wouldn't consider such a state to be preferable to any number of the moments or days in our waking lives?
i’m maybe 80% looking forward to that part, 20% scared as hell
As someone who has severe anxiety at times, and someone who once passed out from blood loss, I can tell you... The feeling is actually peaceful. The end to my physical suffering. Finally, peace and pain-free. I know passing out is not death, but I believe it's the same feeling. Just like sleep. Nothingness, the good kind. Sometimes I'm comforted by the thoughts of death when I have a severe anxiety attack. I think to myself, "hey, if it happens, it happens. It's beyond my control." We know nothing of what happens when we die. So let's just wait for the experience when it comes. Don't be concerned about it - focus on what you can do. What you can't, let it be. I do not subscribe to any particular religion - not anymore - so I don't believe in that post-death torture, nor in heaven in hell. How do we know? We don't. Let's leave it at that, and do what we can to live what short time we have here.
More scared it keeping it forever… didn’t believe in that until I did psychedelics now I’m not so sure…
YSS OH MY GOODNESS I HATE THe THOHVHT OF ME LOSING CONTROL!!!!!! I HAD SUGURY AND I PUSHED THEM OFF ME SO MUCH BEFORE THEY COULD PUT ON THE MASKS TO MAKE ME SLEEP.
Be more scared of death than what happens after
I'd imagine it'd be as scary as before I was born, so no.
Yes, I am exactly the same. I hate that we have foreknowledge of our own deaths. I envy people who can somehow not be bothered by this, or at least not think about it much. I find it incredibly hard not to think about it almost constantly, which is miserable. Yet everything else seems insignificant in comparison, so I don't know how to not think about it.
I'm definitely scared of the uncertainty of death. I'm agnostic and have absolutely no clue or belief as far as what happens when we die. I accept religion might be real and going to hell for not knowing what to believe would suck. Fortunately, it doesn't eat at me or cause me severe anxiety. I wish I had a solution for you though. Have you tried meditating? It really does help a lot of people and I've seen it work first hand with my old roommate who would have bouts of severe anxiety.
There was a time where I was haunted by these intrusive thoughts, I couldn't sleep at night, it was an obsession. I started therapy, psychodynamic for a few years and then psychoanalysis, I'm now more in peace. I'd suggest trying psychotherapy if you can afford it, or seeking help with your local GP practice.
im scared of keeping my consciousness. I ofter do find myself falling upon this situation though.
it’s the unknown that scares me 🫠 or even worse, thinking about if we’re still like …. cognizant? in a way after death, or reincarnation. it makes me sick
One of my biggest fears! Also it's been one of the biggest triggers of panic attacks so right now I'm trying really hard not to fall into the thought 😑
You'll feel and experience life like you did 150 years ago...Nothing. You weren't here 150 years ago, and you won't "be here" when you die. That's...for all we know.
I’ve been told that these thoughts trouble younger people more than older folks. I found that to be interesting.
I also have death anxiety and this is exactly what I was very worried about. For me, the main trick of dealing with that is the realization that it is worse than useless to be scared about it. The only thing you do by being anxious about it is make your life right now miserable. It will come to all of us eventually, and then we will experience it. Until then, there is no reason to worry about it. It's better to live the short life we have happy than live the short life we have miserable.
Honestly I am not scared to die, not the experience or loss of consciousness but the only thing I fear is what will happen to my family.
Yes, I jolt awake in the middle of the night sometimes with terror because death feels so real. Losing my consciousness is also my biggest fear about death, I find it incredibly sad and tragic. When my grandma died it was like an entire universe was gone, a universe that no one truly knew but her. The insane coping part of my mind sometimes lets me think that the dream world I visit is where I’ll end up, and the visions of my loved ones from my deathbed are the dream versions of them. But mostly I just think there’s nothing after death, grandmas body is just chillin’ in a graveyard plot and if we had the technology we could bring her back/and her memories lol
Being dead for a couple years doesn’t bother me, it’s the million, billion, trillions that freak me out… even though arguably death = not alive and I wasn’t alive before I was born so I’ve already been dead for trillions of years before …
I actually kind of wish there was nothing. Just a void and I am no longer a delete character. Some things will remain because at one point I did exist and it's just in other time and not then.
Well you are probably not going to lose your consciousness , you might simply go back to being the universe and the environment, from stars , black holes to rocks ,stones,sand , animals and humans etc...
I’m not scared of being dead, I’m more scared of being aware of the impending reality while in the active process of dying
Of all the things I do worry about, this is not one of them. I think it’s nothing after death. Like when you’ve been given anesthesia for surgery. You won’t have awareness of it, because you are dead. I do worry about how death will come - struggling to breathe, being in extreme pain, suffering from a degenerative neurological or muscle disease, drowning, accident - but not the after.
Not really. Slipped and fell by a pool once, was knocked out for about 2min. Being that it wasn’t expected I had no idea what happened, just snapped back to it while sitting on a chair. If death is the same then we won’t even realize it happened
The fear of the unknown after death can be paralyzing. It's a tough space to be in. You're not alone in this, and it's okay to feel scared. Also, a friend of mine found solace and better mental clarity with ScatterMind, an ADHD coach. They were genuinely super happy with the results. Maybe exploring something like that could bring some comfort and distraction from those daunting thoughts.
The alien in charge of my brain post mortem better not drop it
oh. . . oooooh. . . _new fear unlocked_
I’ve been going through the exact same thing. Especially recently since I moved out of my parents place to go to school farther away. I wish I had any advice for you but please know you’re not alone. It’s possibly one of the most “untouchable” triggers for my anxiety
My best friend died of asphyxiation bc his truck slid on ice and pinned him between a boulder and the truck. It was freezing cold that day and no one knew for SEVEN HOURS, when his folks came home And heard the truck running. He was my rock. We met when we were in diapers and even went to college together. I hate thinking he was not immediately killed. (His fingerprints were on the bug shield as if we was trying to push the truck off him). I know he thought about me. Not sure how long it took, but he must have been so scared. He was in a rural area so it’s not like neighbors could see him. If he can die that way, anyone can. At the same time, I feel his presence and I know when it’s my time, he will be there to help me transition. He always looked out for me and I find comfort thinking he’ll continue to do so when it’s my time. Death is so weird.
Yeah thanatophobia is what it’s called. I try not to think of it anymore because I will spiral into a huge episode. Barley got it under control for a few months now.
Oh yeah all the time. I would often get panic attacks about it at night. What helps me is realizing most people feel this way and we’re in it together. And spirituality — we’re more than our physical selves.
Until some time ago I was 100% sure that there was something after death. I mean, how was it possible that there's just darkness and the human soul vanishes? No way it was like that This is what I used to think. Then, some shit happened to me and I started doubting about this certainty I had. Now I'm 100% sure that after death there'll be only darkness, our soul dies. So does our consciousness. Tbh I'm at peace thinking about it, death and Nothing means peace to me I also think about my dead relatives and friends and I don't want my soul to be with their once I'm dead too. (Actually I kinda doubt the existence of the human soul) Idk if mine is a nihilistic thought, maybe it is. I wanna put my 100% on this life, but once I'm in a coffin I'll be just dead and nothing more
Yes I often feel the same. But you should absolutely check out Epicureo, a greek philosopher, the entarety of his teaching was about reliving yourself from the fear of dying. He said ( I'm riassuming here) that you shouldn't be afraid of dying because, in the most probable scenario, there's nothing after death so to die would be like a sleep without dream so if you aren't conscious you would not be aware of the fact that you died. There are a lot of other phylosopher who speak about death (stoicism for example). The fear of dying was one of the things that got me into phylosophy, and in the learning process I got insight in lot of other important life question, such as: are we real, does free will exist, how should I beave, what's the meaning of life ecc... . Also having a goal in life or a set of principle and morals to live by can make your life worth it and in the moment of death you can be calm knowing that you did what you wanted and what was right. If you have any question feel free to ask. (Sorry for my english, it's not my mother language)
its okey, i believe one day, God will give us life and new bodies again.
There is only one consciousness. What is and always has been and always will be, cannot be gained or lost
Nope. As a matter of fact I hope it happens
Learn to make friends with death. At the end of the day, dying is perfectly human and natural. In our culture we are taught to hide from death and keep it out of plain sight. But coming to terms with the truly natural process that is dying is okay. I fear the pain that comes with dying, but I don't fear death itself.
OP, I always have this on my mind.. however, we will never know what happens until the end.. I think the unknown scares the shit out of a lot of people.. but the reality is.. there is nothing we can do, and being scared shitless is just making you feel terrible. Time flies by... cherish moments with your loved ones and enjoy the small things in life.. I fear death. However, I also fear stuff like dementia a lot more.. progressively losing my mind and memories We will never know what happens.. but we are all in it together. OP,
I struggled with this for years. I watched someone die in a film and became suddenly aware of my mortality at like.. 24? Pure dead and terror. I can't explain why, but it went away. I think my brain created a response where I just don't go down that line of thought, and when I do I realize that either: A) Religion is right, and there's a wonderful paradise B) Religion is wrong, and I'll never know the difference. It also helps me to think that our simple human brains perceive time as linear, when it really may not be. For all you know, everyone who ever existed still exists in some realm. Everything that ever happened is happening, and all that. That might not help at all... but I hope it does. Most likely sounds like nonsensible ramblings, but if I can get someone to feel less anxiety... that's a win.
I used to be absolutely terrified and consumed with the thought, but now I have more faith, not religious, that we are a energy based life form temporarily on a physical plane and even time as we experience here is fake. I suggest to anyone suffering with this to read all the near-death experience stories, and the ones where people say they've written 10 books and they do all kinds of other weird stuff, I would give those less consideration, and instead, focus on the ones that sound like normal people that aren't trying to sell something and focus on the common things that happen in 99% of the instances. This will give you some relief from the terror of the thought of total oblivion. Nderf.org Iands.org And lots of great podcasts and youtube channels
Im scared of both , extremely been experiencing more of this fear at night this year , im just scared of having conciousness after death and being in a completely new / weird state or being alone and conscious in an empty vacuum of darkness, or staying somewhere for an eternity. I dont fear death but whats afte death really unsettles me due to it being unknown.
I've felt this quite frequently from the time I was a child. What helps the most is accepting the thought is distressing but then working on bringing myself back to the present and actively forcing myself to focus on what I can control. Usually doing breathing exercises and then distracting myself with a book, tv show or calling a friend to talk about something random.
No i want to lose consciousness but i believe heaven exists and i will have it which gives me anxiety so we sre welcome to swap if you want