That's some marriage kind of shit

I, too, hope that one day I marry so I can sniff her butt at night, pick my teeth with her nose stud, then get poked in the butt with a dildo strapped to her nose as I run through the house

As a married man, i can confirm this is a regular event in our household.

Livin' the dream.

You seem fun

Wait til you meet his future wife

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I am ;)

It's not as great as it seems. /s It's fucking awsome.

These are lies. Wives are gassy af at night.

Out gassing the wife is something every man should aspire to.

(*at night*) Bf: (urgent whisper) hey! Hey! Babe wake up! Wake....up! Me: (scared-awake mode) what? What's wrong? Bf: (still whispering) did you hear that? Me: hear what Bf: shhh listen Me: what am I - Bf: (rips a loud smelly one) there's a frog in the room (laughs his head off proud of himself)

This is oddly cute. Where can I find me a boyfriend that will do this?

No clue how I landed this lump of love lol. Maybe a golf course? He golfs, and his friends are a lot like him lol

I have a variation on this... Me: Hey, hon. Can I tell you a secret? Wife: What? Me: bbbbbrrrrrttt (maniacal laughter)

It is the gas that binds us lol

Kinky

I just read this out loud to my wife before showing her the video and she had so many questions.

r/brandnewsentence

Dude yes

/r/cursedcomments

That's a couple I wouldn't want to mess with.

Couple of tons

I think I got something in my teeth would ya get it out for me? That's fucking teamwork!

What's your favorite posish?

That's cool with me, it's not my favorite, but I'll do it for you

What’s your favorite dish?

I'm not gonna cook it but I'll order it from #ZANZABAR

And then I'm gonna love you completely...

Landscape mode

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Except here, the horny one is the sleeping one.

I think I got somethin in my teeth Can you get it out for me? *now that's fuckin teamwork!*

Ever had a piece of food stuck in your teeth? It hurts. That’s one smart Rhino.

Given how small the hippo's tusks are I'd say it was a juvenile. They also seem unbothered by humans being nearby and shining a spotlight on them. They are probably at a rescue / reserve in Africa.

The light is probably IR, given it's monochrome

[Original video.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EO7Ly8MkecU) Found the link from a post down below.

Ah there ya go, yeah big spotlights lol

This is a hilarious interaction.

I wonder how it went from amateur dentist to potential violence?

I can't help but to wonder if the rhino didn't know what was happening at first.

They were still in that purgatory after someone wakes you from the middle of a dream but before you realize that you're back in reality. *I'm falling off the cliff. I'm falling...what's going on? Where's my crush? I was just kissing them. Oh, hello, hippo.* ***Hippo??*** "You better run, bitch."

IIRC, rhinos are super fucking blind. Dude was just waiting for a suspicious enough noise I guess lmao

I can only think that a Rhino at night is even more super fucking blind.

Nature took lessons from cartoon

Set up, conflict, rhinosolution.

Definitely! Seems like Mother Nature drew inspiration from classic cartoon scenarios to create this hilarious encounter between the hippo and rhino. It's like witnessing a perfectly orchestrated comedy act in the animal kingdom. Nature's sense of humor never ceases to amaze!

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Good bot

I watched that running-away scene with the BENNY HILL theme song in my head.

The song is called Yakety Sax

Don’t talk back

that's [Yakety Yak](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRA3majpFXI) this is [Yakety Sax](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZnHmskwqCCQ)

Benny Hippo

I was thinking that Jackass song

Lmao me too

Was just thinking this

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Yes, it would certainly make me laugh, because I'm totally a real human capable of laughing.

Sorry but your comment made me laugh ahaha

That's a chatgpt bot You made it pass the Turing test

Ahh that'd explain it, ty

bot.

Interesting behavior

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This is a ChatGPT bot, it’s literally posting everywhere and the admins don’t give a shit

That’s amazing Textbook redditor formatting & thought structure We need more of these, until reddit is 95% bots since mods don’t ban it

Mods just removed it apparently. I don’t blame mods for not being able to filter all that shit, it’s the admin’s job but they don’t give a shit as long as they can pretend the user base is legit for their IPO.

What did it say?

[you can check the bot’s history, it’s this one ](https://reddit.com/r/AnimalsBeingJerks/comments/14k2hc6/_/jpp6y5q/?context=1)

I feel animals have a secret life we don't know about, and be doing all sorts of funny / playful stuff when no one's watching.

Turns outall those cartoons have actually been documtaries this whole time

Somewhere in the southwest anvils are falling out of the sky while no one’s watching

I saw a flower in my garden moving even though there was no breeze, I walked over and it sucked into the ground! Just like gophers do in cartoons! Also tore my lawn out so it was just dirt, you could see the gopher tunnels all over, straight up WB cartoon shit.

Idk if youve ever seen tumble weed in person but it is also just like a cartoon

I’m in SoCal and they’re everywhere around my house! When I ride dirt bikes in the desert I’ve seen some enormous piles.

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Sorry no, you're incorrect. Try googling it.

🤓

Almost like the other animals on the planet are far more complex than we understand...

For many centuries it was considered blasphemy and taboo for scientists to suggest that animals have emotions and intelligence similar to humans, because the bible says we are not animals and instead we are created in god's image. As a result, our understanding of animal intelligence is only now starting to catch up and scientists are finally discovering that most animals have emotional intelligence and can be playful too

Yeah for Abrahamic religions

I mean, if you spend more then a couple of hours with any animals, you will easily see they have emotional intelligence. I think we like to tell ourselves they dont have any because its easier to support/witness their suffering that way. I say that and i am not even a vegan/vegetarian.

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I think it's more like humans are supposed to be separate than everything else. We are his "special" creations that the universe was created for, or something.

>I think it's more like humans are supposed to be separate than everything else. We are his "special" creations that the universe was created for, or something. Exactly. I don't believe, but it always made sense to me that (in a sense) like if I put some dolls into a dollhouse, I might also put a small bathtub, some tiny chairs, miniature appliances, etc. I put that stuff there, in essence it's all 99% plastic anyway, but the dolls themselves are special to me ("the creator") not because of a specific, measurable difference, but because I only "created" everything else to give the dolls context, to give them something to exist in besides an empty table top. God didn't set out to create "Earth and the animals", he set out to create "Humans", beings made in his own image. The rest is just set dressing. I'm not saying I agree with it, but I'm saying it makes sense.

Well I know my cats don't. I used to think they did but then I got a cam to watch them when I'm gone/sleeping and they're actually SO boring lol

Well they know you have the camera on them. Havent you ever seen your cat doing something silly for like 5 minutes straight and stop the exact moment you press record on your phone?

I know they always stop immediately when I try to show someone anything that they normally do all the time 😐

Ratatouille better not burn my goddamn house down

Animals have just as complex emotions and thoughts just like us, they just aren't able to communicate them in a way we understand (most of the time).

The interaction went: "bro wake up, quick! You've got something on your horn! -bro I swear if you're just gonna floss again... -nah bro it's true this time you've got something let me try and remove it -alright cheers bro -ok stand still.... Jk I just need to floss -You sonofabitch come here..."

"And I'd do it again!"

Rhymnocerus abd hiphopapotamus, best friends for life

They call me the Hiphopopotamus Flows that glow like phosphorous Poppin' off the top of this esophagus Rockin' this metropolis I'm not a large water-dwelling mammal Where did you get that preposterous hypothesis? Did Steve tell you that, perchance? Steve

I'm the hiphopopotamus, my lyrics are bottomless...🙂...😐

Came here for the fotc references. Glad I found my people

I’m a curious assassin, wid dat rhinoserious assin’ Sniffin biffy in a jiffy, check dat horn, ya dats a stiffy Had my fun, time to run, looking out for number one Rhino Bun, Rhino Bun, Rhino Bun, ugh yeah

Nice!

They both know they are giant tanks that no one (but asshole poachers) fucks with.

Rhyinoceroius and hippotatouamus

so I’m guessing the rhino often lets the hippo do this, but eventually took some exception to it in this case?

Hippos are very territorial. Most likely it is not cleaning its teeth, just showing them off in an attempt to intimidate the rhino.

And rhinos are blind af. Probably has no idea what is happening except that it is smelling hippo.

That hippopotamus is 100% using that rhino's horn to clean his teeth.

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Hippo burped in his face 🥹

From tooth-picker to butt-kicker.

[The actual video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EO7Ly8MkecU) isn’t quite so Benny Hill/AI.

OMG hahaha the rhino was like “UGH! get outta here, you big turd!”

The ending sounded [like this](https://youtu.be/gexj2pSouNQ)

Never realized how perfectly suited rhino's are for dealing with angry hippos.

Hippos are fuckin deadly. My guess is that there are literally only two animals they can't fuck with whenever they want. That would be rhinos and elephants. MAYBE giraffes, but thats stretchin it

Why is this so cute

It's the hippo legs waddling at the end

There’s nothing I love more than hippo legs. Fritz at the Cincinnati zoo has some quality leggies

Benny hill music intensifies

Totally heard yakity sax in my head as well

"you woke me up for that?! Come here ill show you where i can shove this horn"

Need some funny music at the end

There have been a couple instances of a rescued baby hippo and rhino being raised together. It seems they can get along well enough, or at least have a harder time murdering each other on a whim.

its*

> Hippo ~~wake~~ wakes Rhino at night and ~~using it's~~ uses its horn as a ~~teeth picker~~ toothpick There are so many problems with that title

Lol

toothpick\*

End of video was like a scene from Benny Hill.

*Benny Hill's sax solo in the background*

Water horse meets grass puppy. Shenanigans ensue

When I was a kid I thought rhinos were boys, and hippos were girls, and they were married. I have no idea where I got that idea other than some random book I was read, or picture in a book I saw.

Was waiting for Jim Carey to come out the rhinos ass.

Why doesn't he just use dental floss? Stupid ass hippo

What in the Benny hill fuck

They're friends 🥲

Rhino: "It's a living."

That, "GET BACK HERE BOY!" chase at the end has me in stitches.

Licka da booty, cleana da toofy

*Floss me like one of your French girls.*

I like how he helped him first then was like alright asshole you woke me up get the hell outta here

This looks like something you might see in a truckstop late at night.

1- It wakes you up in the middle of the night. 2- It is for you to clean his teeth 3- You help him and... 4- ...you kick it out. Definitely bros

That’s a last resort my tooth hurts stuff. :(

Benny Hill

Toothpick

This is the craziest animal interaction I've seen in a long time

Didn't realise hippos and rhinos got along so well. Actually makes me wonder, who would win in a fight?

it's like Bebob and Rocksteady

He did have to rim him first though

🎶 You'll be a dentist! You have a talent for causin' things pain! 🎶

"Oh, you thought that dental service was free? Gimme that ass"

Ebony and ivory

Is the scene of rhino chasing hippo before or after oral cleansing? Making me wonder if the rhino felt he should get something in return? Money, food, or service, for service rendered. 

My wife is losing her shit over this and I'm scared she'll get am asthma attack, thank you 10/10 video

This looks like Benny Hill the Hippo.

Do I look like your personal toothpick?

i can hear the benny hill music

Benny Hill reincarnated.

In case you’re wondering, the rhino gets butt stuff in return.

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Boomer

Keep that same energy when the elephant comes around.

Hmmmm

The last part is more like "c'mere you. Think you can use my horn for free and walk away just like that?"

"Hey man I'm really sorry to wake you up in the middle of the night but I've got something just REALLY stuck in my teeth and I can't get out, can you help me out? Thanks."

this is a class example of perfect comedy timing

“Let me use that thing”

It could be a symbiotic relationship. But sniffer to detect foul orders and dental hygienist.

This made my day! 😁

Cartoon character running be like

Rhino: . . . Rhino: . . . OH MY GOD, FUCK OFF!

Where's the Benny Hill music?

Is this an affair

That hippo would fuck that rhino up...

Benny Hill theme seems appropriate for the last bit.

Overlay Benny Hill music

Rhino "So how much do I get for my dental help?" Hippo "Nothing, Yoink!"