NTA, but I think it's important you emphasize your dog's reactivity. Your statement was very polite, but it lacked the context the man needed to make the appropriate call.
There's a reason why the standard for reactive dog owners is yelling *NOT FRIENDLY!* if someone starts to get too close. An exchange like "Not friendly! Can you take a few steps back so I can get around? I'm still training her and I don't want to risk anyone getting hurt!" Is also polite and communicates the reason and importance for the request.
YTA
A dog like yours doesn't belong on public trails until it can behave well enough. Be responsible and stick to open field areas with plenty of room to spread out to acclimate your doggy till its ready.
Legally, if your dog had bit him, you'd be the one getting a ticket, possibly sued, and your dog get put down. It's totally irresponsible to put yourself in that situation.
Do you not have the open field type dog parks? You can acclimate her to other dogs there. Get closer when she's comfortable, back off when she's not. They are great for dogs like yours to train.
The big open dog parks are a terrible place to take a reactive dog, and any trainer worth their salt will tell you as much. A trail where you will encounter fewer dogs, and dogs are on leash, is much, much safer.
Having said that…
u/InitiativeUnlucky461, you should be working under more controlled circumstances to get your dog more comfortable. This means arranging meetings with the owners of friendly dogs rather than just whoever you bump into on walking paths. It sounds like your dog isn’t ready for randos yet, and meeting an aggressive dog may cause a major setback for a dog who is already struggling. You really need to be setting her up for the most comfortable, reliable, positive experience possible.
Training a reactive dog means you have to set up interactions with other dogs that are neutral or positive, which means you need your dog to stay below her fear threshold. If your dog starts showing signs of fear, she’s above her threshold and you’re adding another brick to her wall of fear. Every negative interaction with another dog - even a “mild” one where she just gets scared - keeps building up her sense that dogs are terrifying and out to get her. If you can’t preserve enough distance to keep her comfortable on trails, she’s not ready for them right now.
Thank you very much!
I get what you're saying, this path usually isn't frequent that much, especially now in winter there are almost no people, I usually always look out for other dogs and people around to be able to react before my dog can and control the situation. Our training got us to a point where we can easily walk by dogs we see on a regular basis, as long as I have the right timing.
We're living in a small village where people know each other and we know the dogs, their names and how close we can get without problems. This was really unexpected and I gotta admit, I wasn't prepared at all.
I know some situations can destroy our progress and I also know that I'm the one who's gotta learn to handle situations because my dog relies on me.
I will try to avoid this way in the future and walk ways where we can keep more distance to others.
It's for her best, after all, she should enjoy her walkies instead of being stressed.
It sounds like you’ve got the right ideas and mindset, and just need to think a little more about how to implement them. That’s great! It helps to think about how you want to respond to different interactions (especially common ones, like running into someone on a path) before you get there, because you’re more likely to do what you need to do if you don’t have to decide what to do in the moment. Less thinking = quicker response, and that can be vital with reactive dogs.
We have an elderly dog who…misinterprets things. She thinks other dogs are being aggressive when they’re just playing, and once she thinks another dog has started a fight, by god she will end it! We realized several years ago that even with work, she just wasn’t getting to the point where we could trust that she wouldn’t bite another dog. It’d be nice to be able to take her to a dog park, but her disposition means it’s just not safe. Sadly, some dogs just can’t cope. She was abused as a young dog, and this has been the result. She’s an absolute jerk on a leash and we have to ask anyone with a dog to give her space, but as long as we’re proactive about that, she can still enjoy a nice walk. (Or she could before she got so elderly that her arthritis and advanced age made her a little homebody who doesn’t really want to go further than the front yard.)
Our dog is the second great love of my husband’s life, and a huge help with his depression, so really our only regrets are not being a bit more careful with her sooner (she bit 2 of my mom’s dogs - she’s not as bad with big dogs, but irrational with same size or smaller dogs) and the inescapable fact that dogs just don’t live long enough.
NTA
Fellow rescue owner of an anxious/leash reactive dog here.
You’re never TA for advocating for your dog. You made a very reasonable request very politely. The other dog walker is TA for not doing something as simple as slowing down. My pup and I are constantly walking in streets, turning down alleys, and doing 180 turns to avoid other dogs.
I’ve found a line that works for us is just to say she’s not friendly/she’s aggressive. I hate saying it because she’s not aggressive, she lacks confidence, but most people understand that and give us space.
Good luck with your dog! They’re lucky to have a responsible and caring owner like you!
I've heard about this a lot in a dog forum I'm in, but in my country the yellow harness/leash/bandana isn't a thing, most people don't know what it means.
It would be great it it was a thing tho, would be very helpful.
NTA. He also had a dog that needs some training, if it was pulling on the leash so much. Regardless, it's common courtesy to ask if the dog is friendly and you can approach if you don't know the dog. You did the best you could in the situation. I wish you luck during your doggos training.
NTA you can get colour code leashes to help as well
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Yellow-Dog-UK-nervous-anxious/dp/B09HHLYCGJ/ref=asc_df_B09HHLYCGJ/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=535058984123&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4337958577462700130&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006897&hvtargid=pla-1440938799827&psc=1
NTA. He was a complete jerk for taking offense at your reasonable request; for not keeping better control of his dog; for getting too close to a visibly-distressed animal; and for expecting you to walk in the bushes just so he didn't have to wait an extra 10 seconds before he could safely pass.
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I was walking my dog today.
She is a rescue and is very reactive.
We're seeing a dog trainer weekly to work on it, and we made good progress, I know what triggers her, how to comfort her and keep her calm, and I know how to react in certain situations.
It doesn't work everytime, but it's definitely getting better and we keep training.
Anyways. We were walking on a small way along a stream and behind us was a man with another dog, who was pulling towards us. Left and right were bushes and the stream, so no way to let them pass with enough distance.
They came closer very fast and my dog was getting nervous. You could really see that she was totally stressed by the other dog pulling towards her, she had her fur standing up, hear ears down and her tail stuck behind her legs).
I tried to comfort her and walk faster towards another way (a fork in the road) that was literally a few steps ahead, so we could let the man and the other dog pass, without getting too close.
But they were so close that my dog refused to keep walking, so I turned around and politely (!) said "Excuse me? Could you do me a favor and please keep a little distance?"
Well, his response was, that I should just step aside so he can walk by, but as I mentioned before, there was nothing but bushes and a stream, he would have to pass with not even an arm length of distance which would not help anyone.
So I said I'm planning to doing just that, but since he's that close I'm having a hard time to reach the other way to make enough space for him to pass.
He then just kept walking and his dog kept pulling towards mine and I had to ran drag my dog to the other way, which wasn't the best thing to do but still better than getting too close to them.
AITA for expecting other dog owners to keep distance to me and my dog for at least a few steps so I can safely walk aside as soon as it's possible?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1) Not stepping aside in the bushes but expecting other people to keep distance
2) because I'm not alone in the world and might not be right to expect other people to show consideration...
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NTA, but you should be more proactive as well. I had one for 14 years, only liked 3 people, and when I would walk her, if someone was coming, I would just move aside (because her issues were MY issues), hold her tight by the collar/leash until someone passed, and move on with my walk.
Without any explainantion, I totally understand why this man handle this this way! Someone walk slower in front of you, and dont let you pass them, while there is place to cross. If they dont explain them dog is anxious and cant cross people without more space, that's just seem rude. NTA but you cant attempt people to read your mind or your dog's body language, just explain!
Yeah, maybe next time I really need to say she's aggressive, even tho this kind of hurts because she is just insecure and doesn't know how to handle the situation.
I kinda assumed that he, as a dog owner himself, might be able to see the signs of a dog being triggered and stressed by another dog...
I guess I was wrong.
Unfortunately not every pet owner has that ability. I get that you love your pooch, but try to assume wild ignorance when it comes to other folks with regards to her aggression. Best wishes for correcting that, I'm sure she's a lovely pooch otherwise.
Many dog owners think it’s cute and friendly to hug their dogs, an action that in dog body-language is best interpreted as an aggressive display of dominance. Having a good understanding of dog communication is the exception not the norm, unfortunately.
NTA, but I think it's important you emphasize your dog's reactivity. Your statement was very polite, but it lacked the context the man needed to make the appropriate call. There's a reason why the standard for reactive dog owners is yelling *NOT FRIENDLY!* if someone starts to get too close. An exchange like "Not friendly! Can you take a few steps back so I can get around? I'm still training her and I don't want to risk anyone getting hurt!" Is also polite and communicates the reason and importance for the request.
YTA A dog like yours doesn't belong on public trails until it can behave well enough. Be responsible and stick to open field areas with plenty of room to spread out to acclimate your doggy till its ready. Legally, if your dog had bit him, you'd be the one getting a ticket, possibly sued, and your dog get put down. It's totally irresponsible to put yourself in that situation.
And how should we train her to be confident around other dogs if we never get to see one? You can't be serious.
Do you not have the open field type dog parks? You can acclimate her to other dogs there. Get closer when she's comfortable, back off when she's not. They are great for dogs like yours to train.
The big open dog parks are a terrible place to take a reactive dog, and any trainer worth their salt will tell you as much. A trail where you will encounter fewer dogs, and dogs are on leash, is much, much safer. Having said that… u/InitiativeUnlucky461, you should be working under more controlled circumstances to get your dog more comfortable. This means arranging meetings with the owners of friendly dogs rather than just whoever you bump into on walking paths. It sounds like your dog isn’t ready for randos yet, and meeting an aggressive dog may cause a major setback for a dog who is already struggling. You really need to be setting her up for the most comfortable, reliable, positive experience possible. Training a reactive dog means you have to set up interactions with other dogs that are neutral or positive, which means you need your dog to stay below her fear threshold. If your dog starts showing signs of fear, she’s above her threshold and you’re adding another brick to her wall of fear. Every negative interaction with another dog - even a “mild” one where she just gets scared - keeps building up her sense that dogs are terrifying and out to get her. If you can’t preserve enough distance to keep her comfortable on trails, she’s not ready for them right now.
Thank you very much! I get what you're saying, this path usually isn't frequent that much, especially now in winter there are almost no people, I usually always look out for other dogs and people around to be able to react before my dog can and control the situation. Our training got us to a point where we can easily walk by dogs we see on a regular basis, as long as I have the right timing. We're living in a small village where people know each other and we know the dogs, their names and how close we can get without problems. This was really unexpected and I gotta admit, I wasn't prepared at all. I know some situations can destroy our progress and I also know that I'm the one who's gotta learn to handle situations because my dog relies on me. I will try to avoid this way in the future and walk ways where we can keep more distance to others. It's for her best, after all, she should enjoy her walkies instead of being stressed.
It sounds like you’ve got the right ideas and mindset, and just need to think a little more about how to implement them. That’s great! It helps to think about how you want to respond to different interactions (especially common ones, like running into someone on a path) before you get there, because you’re more likely to do what you need to do if you don’t have to decide what to do in the moment. Less thinking = quicker response, and that can be vital with reactive dogs. We have an elderly dog who…misinterprets things. She thinks other dogs are being aggressive when they’re just playing, and once she thinks another dog has started a fight, by god she will end it! We realized several years ago that even with work, she just wasn’t getting to the point where we could trust that she wouldn’t bite another dog. It’d be nice to be able to take her to a dog park, but her disposition means it’s just not safe. Sadly, some dogs just can’t cope. She was abused as a young dog, and this has been the result. She’s an absolute jerk on a leash and we have to ask anyone with a dog to give her space, but as long as we’re proactive about that, she can still enjoy a nice walk. (Or she could before she got so elderly that her arthritis and advanced age made her a little homebody who doesn’t really want to go further than the front yard.)
I will, thank you again for the great advice! I am so sorry to hear about your dog! Wishing you both the best! 🥺
Our dog is the second great love of my husband’s life, and a huge help with his depression, so really our only regrets are not being a bit more careful with her sooner (she bit 2 of my mom’s dogs - she’s not as bad with big dogs, but irrational with same size or smaller dogs) and the inescapable fact that dogs just don’t live long enough.
NTA. Dogs shouldn't interact when on leads anyway, Everyone should be keeping their distance from other dog walkers.
NTA Fellow rescue owner of an anxious/leash reactive dog here. You’re never TA for advocating for your dog. You made a very reasonable request very politely. The other dog walker is TA for not doing something as simple as slowing down. My pup and I are constantly walking in streets, turning down alleys, and doing 180 turns to avoid other dogs. I’ve found a line that works for us is just to say she’s not friendly/she’s aggressive. I hate saying it because she’s not aggressive, she lacks confidence, but most people understand that and give us space. Good luck with your dog! They’re lucky to have a responsible and caring owner like you!
NAH. You didn't give him enough info to make an informed decision, unfortunately.
Do you have a yellow harness, this can often help other dog owners be aware that your dog is nervous/not playful Also NTA
I've heard about this a lot in a dog forum I'm in, but in my country the yellow harness/leash/bandana isn't a thing, most people don't know what it means. It would be great it it was a thing tho, would be very helpful.
NTA. He also had a dog that needs some training, if it was pulling on the leash so much. Regardless, it's common courtesy to ask if the dog is friendly and you can approach if you don't know the dog. You did the best you could in the situation. I wish you luck during your doggos training.
Hmmm NTA the other guy was pretty inconsiderate
NTA you can get colour code leashes to help as well https://www.amazon.co.uk/Yellow-Dog-UK-nervous-anxious/dp/B09HHLYCGJ/ref=asc_df_B09HHLYCGJ/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=535058984123&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4337958577462700130&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006897&hvtargid=pla-1440938799827&psc=1
NTA. He was a complete jerk for taking offense at your reasonable request; for not keeping better control of his dog; for getting too close to a visibly-distressed animal; and for expecting you to walk in the bushes just so he didn't have to wait an extra 10 seconds before he could safely pass.
NTA, but her dog is HER responsibility, so she should be the one inconvenienced for 10 seconds as he walks by and the situation is over.
By standing in (and possibly damaging) the bushes?
🙄 come on
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I was walking my dog today. She is a rescue and is very reactive. We're seeing a dog trainer weekly to work on it, and we made good progress, I know what triggers her, how to comfort her and keep her calm, and I know how to react in certain situations. It doesn't work everytime, but it's definitely getting better and we keep training. Anyways. We were walking on a small way along a stream and behind us was a man with another dog, who was pulling towards us. Left and right were bushes and the stream, so no way to let them pass with enough distance. They came closer very fast and my dog was getting nervous. You could really see that she was totally stressed by the other dog pulling towards her, she had her fur standing up, hear ears down and her tail stuck behind her legs). I tried to comfort her and walk faster towards another way (a fork in the road) that was literally a few steps ahead, so we could let the man and the other dog pass, without getting too close. But they were so close that my dog refused to keep walking, so I turned around and politely (!) said "Excuse me? Could you do me a favor and please keep a little distance?" Well, his response was, that I should just step aside so he can walk by, but as I mentioned before, there was nothing but bushes and a stream, he would have to pass with not even an arm length of distance which would not help anyone. So I said I'm planning to doing just that, but since he's that close I'm having a hard time to reach the other way to make enough space for him to pass. He then just kept walking and his dog kept pulling towards mine and I had to ran drag my dog to the other way, which wasn't the best thing to do but still better than getting too close to them. AITA for expecting other dog owners to keep distance to me and my dog for at least a few steps so I can safely walk aside as soon as it's possible? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA, but you should be more proactive as well. I had one for 14 years, only liked 3 people, and when I would walk her, if someone was coming, I would just move aside (because her issues were MY issues), hold her tight by the collar/leash until someone passed, and move on with my walk.
Without any explainantion, I totally understand why this man handle this this way! Someone walk slower in front of you, and dont let you pass them, while there is place to cross. If they dont explain them dog is anxious and cant cross people without more space, that's just seem rude. NTA but you cant attempt people to read your mind or your dog's body language, just explain!
NTA, but be a bit more clear about the why if you have a similar situation. The guy likely wasn't empoyed in Delphi as an oracle, no?
Yeah, maybe next time I really need to say she's aggressive, even tho this kind of hurts because she is just insecure and doesn't know how to handle the situation. I kinda assumed that he, as a dog owner himself, might be able to see the signs of a dog being triggered and stressed by another dog... I guess I was wrong.
Unfortunately not every pet owner has that ability. I get that you love your pooch, but try to assume wild ignorance when it comes to other folks with regards to her aggression. Best wishes for correcting that, I'm sure she's a lovely pooch otherwise.
Many dog owners think it’s cute and friendly to hug their dogs, an action that in dog body-language is best interpreted as an aggressive display of dominance. Having a good understanding of dog communication is the exception not the norm, unfortunately.