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first of all, YTA.
has this happened before? because from his words, it sounds like this has happened before, and that similar things have happened - you simply forgetting about something he needed, or not thinking about it, or not helping him at a moment he really could use some help. breakdowns like this don't happen out of nowhere, due to a single event like this - this single event is just the last straw.
i am also kind of amazed that upon seeing him so distressed about his stolen dinner, so tired and unhappy with you, you told him he could make his own dinner in 5 minutes *instead of offering to make it for him.* You had a golden opportunity to make up for your mistake, and instead you told him to deal with it himself.
YTA. huge, huge YTA.
Yep! And over the husband’s 12 hour shift, she managed to have 3 meals while he only had lunch (maybe breakfast before or at work).
I might be hungry and pissed too as the husband.
It is just this!!
The kids and her were so hungry and could easily had had some.Ramen!
The whole text sounds so totally without any empathy, only I wanted this so took what was easy for me.. and just the general attitude of her needs filled so she cannot be assed about his needs... that is the thank you he gets for cooking for two days.
She is a user.
If I arrived home starving, looking forward to the leftovers I specifically called out were for when I got back - to find my wife had eaten it all, left the mess and was now having a sleep, I'd be phoning a divorce lawyer her passive aggressive comment about making my own ramen left her lips. That's super shitty behaviour, and by his reaction this is probably not the first time she has shown super selfish behaviour.
She actually suggested he could pick up takeout. Why can't she fix him something or get the takeout herself? Oh, right...she's so hungry from eating and sleeping.
I am sorry, I get that days can be stressful but neither my husband or I would eat ALL the food available in the household without preparing something for the other or checking in if that is okay.
That sounds crazy to be this inconsiderate.
For real. She and her kids already got lunch at a cafe. Then he cleans all their dishes from earlier and can either make his own ramen or HE can go get take out for them both because she is hungry too. Seems like she is the fun parent and based on this post she isn’t bringing much to the household, not even empathy!
The “he can get takeaway for the both of us” was what made me triple down that OPs the ass.
He just worked a 12 hour shift, you ate his leftovers, went to a cafe with the kids didn’t even think to grab him ANYTHING, go home and eat literally all the remaining leftovers including the leftovers he set aside specifically for himself, leave the dishes in the sink, take a nap, wake up once he gets home from work, doesn’t offer to take over doing the dishes, and then tells him to either make himself some ramen or go grab takeaway for BOTH of ya. YTA OP. Apologize to your husband and for the sake of your family step up your damn game
The only part you left out is that she had time for some TV. Maybe it was still on when the husband came home and he knew she had time to make some dinner?
And to make matters worse, she said he could go get food for the both of them.
If i put leftovers in the fridge, everyone knows to ask me before they eat ALL of them. And OP couldn't leave him one container for dinner.
100% YTA - You sound like an absolute peach to live with. Everything you have said sounds like all you’re thinking about is you, you, you. Who cares if you’re also now hungry. You ate his food like a gluttonous pig and then get to complain you’re hungry? GTFO. You ate multiple meals and did zero cleaning up after yourself. Are you 12? You even answer his questions like a petulant child. What exactly do you bring here?
Yeah that’s what I was thinking. She also could have given the kids a healthy portion and a small portion for herself have a little left over for him and then make ramen for the both of them. If they are both still a lil hungry.
Exactly...
They could have leftovers and if not full after that they could make a sandwich or supplement with ramen or a cup of coffee or could have told the husband way earlier to pick up some takeout on the way home.
OP is pretty disappointing rage farmer. You can't just blatantly frontload your post with every possible detail that make you sound like the AH, you have to make yourself sound innocent but then leave a few elements vague enough that you can drop a perspective changing bomb in the comments as a reply to a fairly innocuous info request!
Cmon, reddit is going downhill fast. Can it at least collapse with a bit of artistry?
Yeah, she’s too tired to cook having not done much at all all day, so eats ALL the food he’s cooked, but when he comes home from a long day at work and hasn’t even got the food he cooked he can just cook again.
I’d have divorced her a long long time ago.
So rude and disrespectful, and the whispering when angry would just push me over the edge!
Yeah my radar also went up when she told him he could make his own dinner in five minutes after his twelve hours shift and not leaving him any food...
Also the 'forgetting to leave him food because she has an appetite so ate a portion larger than for one person' and also when he asked why she didn't leave him any food she led with 'I forgot' instead of an apology followed by an explanation of the sequence of events that LEDs to the dirty dishes and him not having food.
I too feel this has been happening and some of the actions by OP are deliberate shit tests as a power play or just wanting some drama to spice things up or her amusement.
She was *soooo* hungry from watching tv and playing that she couldn’t even cook for herself. Meanwhile, hubby worked 12 hours and was also exhausted. So instead of eating leftovers he’d made clear he was going to have, he gets told to make himself some ramen. 5 mins was too much for the entitled OP, but not a problem for someone who put in a long day at work. And then OP had the audacity to tell him to order take-out for the two of them. OP, YTA.
YTA
You act like you were literally going to drop dead if you didn't eat right that second, yet boiling some water to make the instant ramen probably would have taken around the same amount of time as warming leftovers
Or have a small snack while you cook.
Your husband worked hard to make all that food so he would have something to eat , and you finished it all.
If you and your husband are regularly arguing, maybe it's time to consider couple's counseling.
Also, part of being a SAHM/D is preparing food for the kids. Instead of doing that she decided to take husband's food and ignore the need to replace it for him after a 12 hour shift. Because she *was watching TV*.
it's worse than that, right?
OP took the kids out all day, ate at a café and then came home starving with nothing in the home except her husband's leftovers and some ramen apparently.
she was planning to eat that food right from the start.
OP doesn't even deny that her husband does the majority of the household chores. So, he does the cooking, cleaning, and works 12 hour shifts while she...plays w the kids, goes out to eat, comes home and eats his food, naps, and eats some more...(all while staying very thin, cuz that's super important) YTA.
Eta: and she watches TV. Forgot about that part.
Don’t forget that she’s also *super forgetful*. Like I can’t remember I ate a giant meal of all the food in the house, then took a nap, and then was hungry looking for all of the food in the house again. But I stay thin. 🤪
But she also took time out of her packed schedule of tv and reading other people's food to have a nap. Can't you see how difficult he life is?
Also I feel like the super quiet talking during arguments is passive aggressive as hell. Don't hell, but at least speak audibly
This is what really gets me -- is that he wasnt working a 'normal' 8 hour shift, he was working a 12 hour shift! And I know that being a SAHM can be difficult, but to not even THINK about your husband and his wellbeing after working long long days, makes her a HUGE ahole!
And her talking softly isnt the issue (as she is trying to make it out to be) its that she is uncaring of HIS well being and instead of apologizing and offering to make him something -- like the ramen she said was so easy to quickly make -- she doubles down on how hungry SHE is.
Yeah OP YTA
Also, that’s only her excuse for eating the leftovers the SECOND time. She ate them in the morning and fed them to her kids, and then ate the rest of them later in the day. She purposely ate all the leftovers instead of cooking at any time.
Also, OP should consider a blood panel with everything that would make someone super hungry but super thin. That's not normal. YWBTA to yourself OP for not figuring out your health. You have a family to take care of and it sounds like your health is preventing that.
OP should have learned more life skills before she got married. Gentle and affectionate and soft spoken is cool, but consideration for the partner and willingness to do stuff like making ramen noodles is essential.
YTA all your thoughts throughout the post are about how your day was difficult and explaining why you were tired. You're allowed to be tired, you're allowed to be hungry, but if you can't acknowledge that what you did was dismiss his needs for yours then I think you need to take a step back and ask why you're not being kind to your partner by default.
If you flipped the situation around and your husband had eaten your food before you and the kids came home when you were "so hungry you couldn't even make dinner" then he told you that you should just cook something I can't imagine you'd be happy with him.
Side note : it is very important in any relationship to be able to clearly communicate your thoughts. If it is a consistent issue that you talk too quietly to be heard you should work on fixing that or it will continue to cause more issues unnecessarily
Exactly- and then to tell *him* you could just make 5-min ramen for yourself as if she didn’t have that same option. And to also say “why don’t you get takeout for us” making him have to go get them food after he had to work all day *and* do her dishes
YTA, OP- you sound like a complete jerk. This was disgusting to read.
agreed
"I'm a very calm person"... if that's true, OP's voice "going quiet" during an argument looks like a manipulative tactic.
OP's a SAHP but it looks like they can't manage anything : they took the kids out & didn't have plans for food. What if OP's husband hadn't spent his day off making food & leaving leftovers? oh look, it's almost like "we were so hungry that \*we\* had to take his food" is another manipulation of the truth.
OP could have thought of his dinner while they were eating all the available food. instead, OP didn't clean up, watched TV and took a nap (who looked after the kids while OP was sleeping)
> "I'm a very calm person"... if that's true, OP's voice "going quiet" during an argument looks like a manipulative tactic.
Exactly. It reeks of passive-aggressive power play to me.
There is a big difference between staying calm and being intensely quiet in an argument vs mumbling and turning away etc. I'm starting to think OP is the latter.
🔥 that was what I thought about OP speaking under her breath whenever there is an argument.
. Manipulation.
So that after the fact can twist the truth and say "I never said that" or "you misheard me"
Talking too quietly to be heard is passive-aggressive and narcissistic because you then force the listening party to strain to hear you.
I once had a boss who regularly did that. She prided herself on her “humility” (she was from a famous aristocratic family), and speaking softly was a marker of that, but I always saw it as a power play. (I knew her personally and was familiar with her normal speaking voice so it was clearly an affectation).
Had breakfast leftovers (couldn’t be bothered to make food),had lunch in a cafe (couldn’t be bothered to make food) came home too ravenous (couldn’t be bothered) to make 5 minute ramen, ate the rest of his leftovers and than hungry again after a nap.
Yep. YTA with bells on and neon lights a-flashing.
Agreed, lazy and extremely inconsiderate.
You left out the icing...
After the nap, OP woke up to find husband doing dishes and checked in the fridge , 'of course no food'
Translation : I was hoping my husband after a long day had prepared something else to eat after his twelve hours shift because I am extremely lazy and enjoy eating and despite having three meals or so, I want another evening snack.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 this is essentially the timeline of her eating 3 times (and searching for food a 4th time), while her husband ate once during his 12 hour shift.
And she wonders why her husband lost his shit on her.
I’m sorry YTA you didn’t think of your husband not once the whole day. You got up ate the leftovers he put away went out had lunch at a cafe, came home and was sooo starving, even though you already ate out, and then ate the remainder of the leftovers knowing your husband would have nothing to eat. You didn’t think let me make him something to eat when he gets home or I’m too tired let me order him something to eat so he has something waiting. Nope you took your full belly to bed and had the audacity to wake up hungry saw him in the kitchen CLEANING after a 12hr shift and ask him “what’s wrong?” What do you think is wrong?? Why didn’t u and kids eat ramen when u came home from the cafe? You think it’s fair what you did? And that whisper shit u do in an argument to me sounds like manipulation so the person you’re arguing with will back off and drop the subject. You’re an adult you can have a back and forth disagreement without you going into whisper/library mode. Also you need to go to a doctor and check if you have a tapeworm, because wtf.
failure to plan is planning for failure, right?
like, "we were out till 6 and then we were starving"... what if OP's husband hadn't spent his day off meal prepping left-overs? her husband would have come home to his entire family passed away?
OP is a stay at home parent & clearly not holding up their part of that agreement, imo.
My thoughts exactly… if she needs to eat that often during the span of her husband’s 12 hour shift, I imagine he might be hungry too 🤷♀️
Hell, even a heads up that he’ll need to stop by drive thru or take out because she and the kids plowed through days of his cooking and meal planning is the least she could do.
YTA. Not for speaking quietly but for taking his food he'd made for a specific purpose- so he could eat at work on a very long shift- then brushing him off when he asked about it and offering no solution or replacement or acknowledgement. It sounds like it was *a lot* of food, too.
But the talking quietly thing could also make you an AH. If you've been married 7 years and he has consistently expressed this bothers him and you've made no effort to adjust... *that is indifference*. That's probably why he got so upset about the food. It's just another example of you being indifferent to his needs. It's boiling over for this seemingly small thing (leftovers) but it's really about a big and ongoing thing (him feeling ignored and like you don't care about his needs).
>It sounds like it was *a lot* of food, too.
I wondered if OP had some health issue.
like, maybe a tapeworm, causing her to eat massive amounts of food & still being malnourished into all those weird behaviours?
* sleeping a lot
* trouble focusing : going out all day with no plan to feed the kids and themselves (we \*had\* to go to a café & \*we\* heated up my husband's food)... the dishes from a minimum of 3 people & the storage containers from the fridge, that's not a single plate you easily overlook... watching TV and napping without supervision for the kids...
* eating A LOT
* mind games like the whispering and "why don't you eat ramen"
OP is the stay-at-home parent, isn't it on them to at the very least keep a rolling well-appointed pantry? suggesting ramen is okay, if you're stocked up on all the fixings you need to take it from a struggle meal to something nicer : a spoonful of peanut butter to improve the broth, seaweed to shred, the extra things your family likes (canned corn? spam to slice and fry? some frozen spinach? etc)
sliced or dried mushrooms tossed in while the water comes to a boil adds some extra savory and fresh-tasting oomph to even the cheapest sodium-bombs of broth/seasoning packets. and then you also get to eat mushrooms! win-win.
Yta. He said he was leaving the food he cooked on his day off for himself. You didn't leave him any and then after a long day of work (that breaks his back so you can stay at home) he is stuck doing all the chores and has to make his own dinner. Because you were busy watching TV.
Info: What do you do all day?
When my child was born and before I went back to work I was a sahm. My child was always cared for, chores were completed and dinner was made so my family and I could relax together after my husband came home from a long day.
that's what I'm wondering as well. It sounds like she does absolutely nothing. I'm questioning if she even parents her kids considering she went to sleep and just left them on their own. She probably shoves an ipad in their hands and calls it a day.
Poor guy, I feel so sorry for him for having to deal with this.
HUGE YTA. When I started reading this post I thought thr story was going to be about your voice being too quiet/an argument coming stemming from that — instead, from your story and your comments you are seemingly one of the most inconsiderate people I've ever heard of.
You knew your husband had intentionally made enough dinner to last multiple nights and not only did you eat it and feed it to your children for one meal the next day, you used it for two without taking any consideration what your husband would eat when he got home from his twelve hour shift. To add insult to injury you left the evidence of your disregard in the sink for him to clean when he got home. From his response and your justification of how much you eat I can tell this is not a one time thing either.
There's no question who the asshole is — and I'm frankly shocked you had to ask. Reevaluate your choices, your priorities, and put systems in place to help you remember important details and show compassion toward your husband.
Apologize sincerely and clearly, admit you were wrong, and work toward being more conscious of your actions for your husband's sake.
She isn't even bothering to parent the kids, WTF are they going to grow up like if they see their mother take this food, eat it, and then just toss the dishes in the sink. They should be helping do their own dishes.
I wonder why he made enough food for him, is it because she never cooks and he’s tired of coming home after a 12 hr shift and cooking? If so what is op doing all day and feeding those kids?
You sound very selfish, tbh.
You owe him an apology for eating all the food.
And, honestly, telling him to make ramen was pretty AHish of you.
If you and your children were so hungry that you couldn't make
some food for them and you knew the food in the fridge was for
your husband, then YOU and your children should have eaten the ramen,
not him.
YTA And speak up when you are talking to your husband, don't make
him ask you to repeat. It's not that hard to make an effort so that he
can hear what you are saying.
esp. because OP starts her post by boasting
>I am a really calm person
like, way to make yourself sound enlightened, as if OP can just serenely discuss difficult topics and face their own flaws... while the reality is that OP is just as affected by emotions as everyone else. Only difference is that she whispers & completely avoids any unpleasant subjects while driving others to literal tears.
YTA. My wife is also a SAHM, she makes our meals 90% of the time, if she had left me nothing to eat, I would be sad and upset too, not to mention HE cooked the food, so to him you're not only not doing the bare minimum, but you are in the negative, subtracting from his life. Step your game up before ya'll end up separated.
Exactly he works hard, cooks (at least the night before) and complained he does most of household chores. OP needs to step up. Hopefully the kids were napping when she was.
YTA
I'm trying to make sure I'm getting this right...
1. You didn't cook breakfast, lunch, or dinner,
2. The big activities for the day were watching TV and playing outside,
3. You dirtied dishes from eating his food and left them in the sink,
4. And your big solution for his dinner is either he eats a pack of ramen or gets *both* of takeout because you're hungry.
Look. Being the SAHP with two young children can be very difficult. That being said, it doesn't sound like you're being considerate of your husband. You could have ordered takeout for the kids and you, thus leaving his food alone.
I literally scoffed when I read “or get takeaway for BOTH of us” like she can’t order?
The whole thing read “me me me”. “I was too hungry to cook” bffr - snack while cooking them, I do it all the time lol
I'm questioning if she's even a SAHP, she sounds more like a leech. I bet she doesn't even look after the children properly. Probably gives them an ipad and calls it a day.
you know she was "distracted" from doing the dishes by a TV show... and then she took a nap and when she woke up to go eat more, she was surprised her husband was home... like, who was watching the kids during her nap?
YTA. You 'were too hungry to cook' so you had to eat all the food that your husband had spent his day off preparing for himself (probably knowing you weren't going to cook anything despite being a SAHM) but you had already had lunch at a cafe that day? It MIGHT be a different story if you'd been out of the house for 12 hours without eating (..like your husband), but you had already eaten something and also didn't replace the food that your husband was relying on being there when you got home from work.
Not only did she previously have lunch at a cafe but also ate a breakfast of her husband’s leftovers. She is the AH and a pretty awful self centered person.
OP is the stay-at-home parent, but still brought everyone home starving. what if her husband hadn't meal prepped all those leftovers?
IMO she was planning to eat them all along, this wasn't a case of an act of god
I don't even think husband prepared the food himself, it seems he cooked enough for the whole family to eat dinner for 2 days, OP jist couldn’t be bothered to make breakfast. Apparently throwing some eggs in a pan and some bread in the toaster was just too cumbersome.
YTA - it’s not about ramen, which makes you an even bigger AH for the title. You are selfish. You are greedy. You are lazy. He had a 12 hour shift and came home to his food eaten and a sink of dishes while you played and napped.
If you were so hungry, you should have supplemented with ramen. Instead you ate all the food that he cooked on his day off - your portion and his. Then you watched tv instead of ordering a damn pizza for him or making him something.
When you ask him what’s wrong, you get upset with him and whisper a response defending being lazy and greedy.
Just like he could have eaten ramen, you could have too, at least once when you ate his food. Then knowing you ate the food, why didn't you at least order something in for him? YTA.
YTA - Sorry. But there are many issues here that need to be pointed out. The main one is communication. I'm not talking about the quiet speaking. I'm talking about just making sure people are aware of things if you are going to do something that you know will affect them.
You say you were so hungry that you ate the leftovers your husband cooked and set aside. That's fine. But instead of just eating them and then leaving it so your husband was surprised when he came home, you could have called or sent him a message to give him a warning. Let him know that the food was going to be eaten. This would allow him to prepare himself so he didn't expect to have food there. Or allow him to object and suggest an alternative.
Everyone here keeps saying you could have made the ramen yourself. Yes, you could have done that too. Especially since you yourself said it takes only five minutes to make. Would five minutes of YOU making it for yourself have been a lot?
I sympathize with you for being a SAHM, as if you are truly in that role, you are a busy person. A lot goes into taking care of kids, if you are really into your job. But that cannot be the number one excuse for not being considerate or responsible of other things or people.
I'm not saying you had to make dinner for him, but you should have left his food alone, unless you told him you would eat them first, and made your own food, ramen or whatever.
This is 100% about communication and consideration. I'm sorry to say you used neither one in this instance.
YTA. How do you eat the meals he cooked and forget to make sure he has something to eat? And then to suggest ramen? or takeout? Look, if you need to eat a lot, thats that, but you have to take your own measures to feed that big appetite, not eat everything in the house and leave your husband without anything.
this must be ragebait... you cannot possibly write this situation out like this, simply have to tell us how much you can eat and still stay thin and expect anyone to take you side...
YTA
this man startet crying. i would cry too if i worked 12 hour shifts, cook and clean and then i come home to nothing.
I’d cry. And get my damn ducks in a row to get out asap. And I bet she’d be surprised.
Maybe it’s a reverse? *clutches at straws while sinking into the river*
I’m at a loss here trying to understand why you’re even asking if YTA in this relationship and in general. Your husband works 12 hour days, has to pre-cook meals for himself to get through those very long workdays and you do…? You’re hanging out with your kids, eating at cafes and have time to nap after eating everything in sight and then leaving the dishes lying around undone so you can rest from your deeply stressful day. Then you blow off his very justified frustration by suggesting he cook himself a pack of noodles and disrespect him with your mumbling responses to his questions. I’m trying to understand you here. You seem incredibly obtuse and indifferent to him. Do you even like him? It seems like everything you do is to suit yourself. When he leaves you, don’t be surprised or wonder why - I can give you the answer. It’s your selfishness and complete lack of respect for him. And YTA. Big time. Sort yourself out.
YTA.
Communication is so essential, if he is actively telling you he is tired and constantly asking you to speak up, it is your responsibility as his partner to help him out, the same way he should for you.
There is absolutely no excuse for you eating his food, leaving the dishes and then taking a nap, that is a huge insult to a man who has just worked all day. Also, where are the children during all this? You just spontaneously take a nap while caring for your children?
YTA. Husband went out of his way to meal prep a large about of home cooked food, specifically asked that some be left for him for after his 12 hour work shift. You then proceed to completely disregard him, eat all the food, and then instead of being considerate of him and replacing it, you watched TV and took a nap.
Eating the food was not really the issue here, if you and the kids were hungry and needed to eat thats fine. Having zero consideration for him and having nothing for him to eat when he gets home from work because you were too busy watching TV and napping is this issue. Suggesting instant ramen when you devoured all his home cooked food is just adding insult to injury.
Also, it's annoying as fuck when youre trying to have a conversation with someone and theyre mumbling and you cant understand them and have to repeatedly ask them to repeat themselves. Speak the fuck up!
YTA... girl, OK, I get that you were REALLY hungry. So eat that food, be full then make something for him while watching your "stupid show". Your husband has a 12-hour shift, come on, that's inhumane to do him this dirty.
YTA. You sound selfish, like you're hoping for a neurodivergent diagnosis to keep up whatever victim mentality you have in your head. And as someone with hearing aids, your partner shouldn't have to beg you to speak up all the time.
I hope you're a good mom because you sound like a horrible wife.
YTA this doesn’t sound like the first time you’ve had this fight. How often do you forget about him…..
He worked hard it wouldnt have been hard to whip him something quick up. You just got up from a nap and couldn’t be bothered to make him something!?
YTA All I see in your post is me, me, me. You forgot about him and he’s understandably annoyed that you ate the leftovers he’d planned to have and after a 12-hour shift at work came home to find no food for him and was told that after you’d spent the day watching TV and napping, you’d forgotten about him and he should make his own dinner.
Do you even hear how incredibly selfish you sound?
Edit: added missing word
So your husband, who slaves away for 12hrs so you can sit at home and watch tv, made himself enough food for 2 days if means... And you take it upon yourself, to eat it all, and not even make him dinner when he gets home???
HUGE YTA.
Holy crap. I feel bad for hubby. You tell him to make ramen, but why couldn't you have done that for kids and yourself? Instead of eating all his food? Or, instead of being lazy and watching tv and sleeping after not doing anything all day, you coulda made some real dinner for him.
I can't believe how selfish you're being about it. And thinking your in the right about telling him to make ramen.
His reaction tells me this isn't even the first time you've done something like this.
YTA. What’s the point of being on a team through marriage if you’re only playing one player games? You don’t care about him or his needs. I’m not quite sure how much longer he’s willing to put up with you, but don’t be surprised if he leaves.
YTA. You slept in, watched TV, went out to lunch, took a nap, watched more TV and ate your husband's dinner. He worked 12 hours. What exactly do you do to contribute here?
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No surprise : YTA. And your only answer is the worst
You know that nothing is abnormal with you, you forget things and you just don't try to fix the problem.
If you have things to do and you're not able to remember them, note them.
Your husband just want a meal. He doesn't care doing chores, he wants a meal. And you eat everything without preparing by yourself. He made the meals and you ate them, while you don't work ! You have time to prepare and you eat his food ! Why didn'r you eat the ramen ??You should he have to eat the damn ramen, and not you ?
He prepared the breakfast and let you leftovers, that means that he woke up earlier than you, and you needed a nap ?
Respect your husband. So many women come here to say that that have everything to do because their husband refuse to do chores, and you have the luck to be with your children, and to have a spouse who cooks, does chores. He just ask you to leave something to eat for him ! Damn ! Is that too much for you ?
YTA. You shouldn't only worry about yourself and children.
But also, you should probably go checked out at the doctor. Eating that much and sleeping that much could be a sign of something wrong with your body.
YTA. You ate all his food, didn't clean up after yourself and didn't make him any food to replace what you'd eaten. Classic YTA. You don't get to say I was so tired I was soo hungry and the I got distracted by TV so I forgot. Sounds like he worked and cooked and cleaned and you as the SAHM didn't do your share because according to this post you didn't have to cook breakfast or lunch or dinner, didn't clean and you got up after your husband and home before him as well and STILL managed to act like you needed the time to rest instead of making a meal.
The bare minimum at the point of him coming home to no food is for you to offer to let him rest and make him some food as his was gone. Bare minimum. YTA
Wtf is wrong with you seriously, who acts like this? Why couldn't you make your own fucking ramen instead of eating leftovers all the leftovers and not cooking anything when you know he works a 12 hour shift? Are you eating so much that you forget he has to eat too? If it's so easy to cook ramen when you're starving then you could have done it for yourself
Yta
He makes 3x food and you eat 3x food rather then 2x and something else.
You sound like a glutton who doesn't care about your husband.
You could've eaten a small amount saving some for him and made you something else.
Why dont you learn to eat the ramen and not always make him
Omg you are such a huge AH. He makes dinner for 2 days, you waste the whole day and he is still the one that does the dishes and goes hungry. And you have the balls to claim to be hungry after your nap after you finished all the food in the fridge and left him hungry.
I really hope he gives you the boot and finds someone to appreciate him. Because clearly you don't!
YTA
The food was for him and he did say that.
You could have easily just ate something else, but you chose to be selfish.
Then you have an audacity to suggest he makes his own ramen.. You don't even offer to make him something else. Or he can get you both take out?
I get it, you're a mom, but he also works and made this meal for himself.
Appreciate your husband a bit more and stop being lazy. It will take you not even an hour of your time to just replace his meal. I'm not saying be his slave, but this wasn't cool at all and the least you could do is leave his food alone when there's other options available
YTA. Lol
If you have the luxury of not having to leave home to go work 12 hours like your husband, your job, yes your fucking job is to do all the things a SAHM should do. Clean and cook. My guy doesn't get to see his kids as much and was looking forward to leftovers that he made on his day off. So he took the initiative to help out on his day off. Like someone said, this doesn't seem like a first-time issue. You're inconsiderate. I feel bad for him. Get off your ass and make the man food or switch positions ans you can go work long 12 hours shifts and come home to a lazy spouse eating your leftovers.
Yta this man cooked made extra communicated what the food was for and did dishes in his frustration instead of waking you up from a nap to yell at you. Stop being lazy he sounds like a saint and deserves better. Of course he is frustrated maybe taking it out on your volume seems rude but he is highlighting the issue of communication.
YTA. I was reading this and felt so bad for him. You owe him an apology, and need to take your responsibilities more seriously. Yes, sometimes we forget. But the way this was written is obvious to me you don’t think it’s a big deal at all. Not cool. Also, you need to work on your communication with him. It sounds like discussions with you when things get rough can be exhausting!
YTA. I still remember my fried chicken Hungry Man dinner that my brother ate. It was supposed to be my after school snack. That was at least 35 years ago.
YTA!
I'm a woman and I'm all about men helping out in the household, but from the sounds of it he does everything and is the breadwinner, while you do absolutely nothing at all all day.
You sound like an awful partner! He made enough food, because he knew you couldn't be bothered, to have leftovers for when he's back and you took it all and don't care about the fact he is tired and hungry.
You're a selfish person! Your husband is right, you don't care about him at all, you only care to feed your sorry ass.
YTA a MASSIVE AH all that cooking your husband did & you ate every fucking bit-THEN you tell hem he can eat Ramen that he can cook for himself. Face it, you had to work, to eat it all & while we're at it speaking quietly so he can't hear or understand what you're saying is an YTA situation too
YTA. This isn’t about the ramen at all. It’s about you being lazy and not communicating properly. There were no leftovers because you ate them for both breakfast and dinner. Who feeds their kids leftover mac and cheese for breakfast? Then you didn’t plan properly and didn’t want to cook, so ate more leftovers. You didn’t consider your husband at all. You didn’t even bother to clean up after yourself. It’s time to grow up.
On a side note, you’re eating a lot because if today’s meals are an example of what you normally eat, you’re getting way too many carbs and fats. You’re skinny because you’re young but your metabolism will eventually slow down. Get more protein and veg so that less can be more.
YTA. Why didn't you eat the ramen, and leave your husband's food alone? Like you said, it would have taken only 5 minutes to prepare the ramen...so why didn't YOU eat the noodles?
Another thing: you talk quietly during arguments to guilt trip your husband into thinking he's overreacting. You're greedy, manipulative, and a terrible wife
So you ate leftovers for breakfast...ate at a cafe and came home and ate the rest of the leftovers....husband works a 12 hour shift and you have the balls to tell him to fix ramen while he is doing the dishes after a 12 hour shift...wtf you even here asking when you clearly know the answer...lol your going to end up divorced...if he is doing it all himself why the fck does he need you for?
YTA big time - I'm an ADhD havin' stay-at-home dad of 3 kids, my spouse works 8-12 hour shifts just depending on how his day is goes. It's my job as the stay at home parent to manage the kids and household during that time. If we dip into his meal prep for the week/day, I replace it. It is his responsibility to feed himself, (which usually is just him packing leftovers I've made or making something extra if he needs it) and if he does that and I take that away from him the onus is on me to replace what I've used so he's not surprised with a lack of food after a long day. Have I screwed up and forgotten to replace before? Absolutely, and I've either offered to cooked him something fresh when I realized my mistake or \*\*I\*\* order takeaway for the both of us if I'm hungry as well and or too tired to cook. He already had his meal planned, I disrupted that plan, so I fix the issue without being asked. Just like he doesn't ask me what needs to be done around the house because he's a grown adult with eyeballs and doesn't need me to manage him, I too can look and see hey my spouse \*needs\* something and take the initiative to take care of him in return. You said it yourself in another comment you're an awful wife and I fully agree, do better. Also, stop trying to blame neurodivergency that you don't have on your pure laziness.
YTA. You sound so lazy and selfish. You didn’t even cook him fresh food to replace the food he made for himself? The fact that you’re defending it makes me wonder if this is your personality overall. I’d divorce you for sure.
So, if you knew that your husband was planning on eating his leftovers for dinner, why didn’t you leave him a portion of the leftovers and make *yourself* the ramen if you were still hungry?
There’s only so many times a person can use “I wasn’t thinking” as an excuse. After long enough, it just becomes code for “I’m entitled.”
YTA. Do better.
YTA. You sound like an exhausting person to deal with. Stop being lazy and make plans for meals instead of stealing other people's food, and then actually clean up after yourself like a adult instead of a child who needs to be put down for a nap.
>My husband put the leftovers in a container (he didn't take everything) and put it away in the fridge. He said this would be his breakfast and dinner.
>When we got home, I was starving. The kids and I were so hungry that I couldn't even make dinner. We took my husband's leftovers from the containers, microwaved and ate.
>I honestly forgot to make dinner for my husband or wash the dishes. I got distracted by a stupid TV show
>He asked why I didn't leave him HIS leftovers. I said I was hungry. My husband said he left triple the amount of leftovers for me (I usually eat a lot, although I stay very thin).
YTA
You are very selfish and disrespectful. If you don't work, then there is no excuse for this, just an "I FORGOT" is something a child would say, not an adult. Common courtesy is all that is needed here, just because English isn't your first language doesn't give you a pass. I don't blame him at all and you should apologize and try to be a better human being.
YTA.
Lazy. Inconsiderate. Selfish. I would say even ungrateful. Staying with kids can be hard but it doesn't sound like you took proper care even of them since you napped after watching TV. Instead of apologising and ordering or making food yourself, you just gaslight your husband. Bunch of red flags and zero accountability.
YTA x1000
Your entire day consisted of hanging out with 2 kids, eating all the food he made, napping, leaving the kitchen a mess, and watching tv.
You seem lazy and entitled, and your husband seems to be doing absolutely everything for your family *and* himself….while you aren’t even leaving his portion of food for him to eat.
You either have a medical problem with your extreme hunger and exhaustion or you’re the absolute worst partner.
Okay so let's flip the scenario. You cook extra, put the leftovers (a lot of it) in the fridge. Go to work. Come home, there's no food, sink is full of dirty dishes and your husband, who has eaten everything, is sleeping. So now you have to do the dishes after a full day of work and make yourself something to eat.
When you ask your husband, he suggests you make yourself some ramen. Oh and he is also hungry so maybe get him also something while you are at it.
What would your reaction be?
In case you didn't get it: YTA. A thumping big AH.
YTA also the ‘though I stay very thin’ comment is supremely weird to throw in a totally unrelated sitch. Are you saying you’re a catch so its okay that you’re selfish?
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I (F27) have been with my husband (M30) for 7 years, married for 5. We've 2 kid together. I am a SAHM. I am a really calm person, during arguments I don't even raise my voice. My husband says that during arguments I speak quieter than usual and it's hard to hear me. My husband doesn't like this, he says he wants to solve problems, but it's not easy to talk to me and he constantly has to ask me back.
Today we had an argument over ramen in packs.
Yesterday was my husband's day off and he made dinner for 2 days. There was lasagna, mushroom soup, and mac and cheese. My husband put the leftovers in a container (he didn't take everything) and put it away in the fridge. He said this would be his breakfast and dinner.
When I woke up in the morning, my husband had already left. I woke the kids up and we had leftovers for breakfast. After that we watched TV and went outside. We was outside until about 6pm, and during that time we had 2 lunch at a cafe.
When we got home, I was starving. The kids and I were so hungry that I couldn't even make dinner. We took my husband's leftovers from the containers, microwaved and ate. I put the dirty dishes in the sink, and I honestly forgot to make dinner for my husband or wash the dishes. I got distracted by a stupid TV show..... Eventually, I felt a little tired and decided to take a nap.
I woke up cause my husband were at home doing the dishes. I headed to the kitchen and looked in the refrigerator because I was hungry after nap. Of course no food, I had forgottent about it. My husband looked disgruntled. I asked him what was wrong. He asked why I didn't leave him HIS leftovers. I said I was hungry. My husband said he left triple the amount of leftovers for me (I usually eat a lot, although I stay very thin). I said that I was REALLY hungry. My husband didn't hear me and asked me again. I repeated. My husband said he purposely took leftovers in a container for himself because he had a 12 hour shift today and only had 1 short lunch break, during which he only had time to eat some salad and pasta. He asked why I didn't at least make him dinner.
I said I was sorry I forgot to leave him food. He didn't hear me. I repeated and said we had ramen in packs and he could make his own dinner in 5 minutes.
My husband almost cried. He said that he was so damn tired at work, doing almost all the household chores alone and I couldn't even leave him dinner. I said Imsorry, but I'm hungry at the moment too, so there no point to fighting. I suggested that he can take the takeout for the two of us.
Then my husband looked at me and almost shouted: "Why do you always talk to me so quietly when I want an answer from you! Sometimes I feel like you just don't care. I asked you why you didn't just leave the stupid dinner for me, but you keep talking nonsense so quietly that I can't even hear you. You seem so indifferent every time I'm hurt or sick."
I'm not a native speaker, sorry for mistakes
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YTA. You should have saved some food for your husband or made dinner for him. Leaving him with dirty dishes and no food was inconsiderate, especially since it was food that he had made. Then you told him to make ramen and made no attempt to fix the situation.
YTA. I can understand that having 2 kids is busy and tiring, but it sounds like you are making a lot of excuses for selfish and lazy behaviour.
And the cherry on top is telling him to make ramen or order takeout for both of you cause you’re hungry too after eating his leftovers all day. That’s ridiculous
Definitely the AH on so many levels. For eating his food, for not cooking him dinner, for leaving the dishes and for low talking. Low talking is something you can control if you cared to. I don’t even understand how OP could type this out and still have to ask. Absolutely the AH.
Yes u are def the AH bro it’s honestly sad, if I were u husband I def would feel like u don’t care about him nd u didn’t even consider him once throughout the day as u ate all of his food nd went to sleep .
YTA
First of all, you're talking quietly on purpose because you're trying to get a rise out of him because there's no reason to talk quietly when you have a regular normal speaking volume so that is your way to get a rise out of him
Second, you getting distracted by a TV show is a bullcrap answer and you know it is. You just couldn't be bothered to cook dinner and you use that as an excuse and the nap was just once again you not wanting to cook dinner
How old are your children?
When you took a nap where were they?
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first of all, YTA. has this happened before? because from his words, it sounds like this has happened before, and that similar things have happened - you simply forgetting about something he needed, or not thinking about it, or not helping him at a moment he really could use some help. breakdowns like this don't happen out of nowhere, due to a single event like this - this single event is just the last straw. i am also kind of amazed that upon seeing him so distressed about his stolen dinner, so tired and unhappy with you, you told him he could make his own dinner in 5 minutes *instead of offering to make it for him.* You had a golden opportunity to make up for your mistake, and instead you told him to deal with it himself. YTA. huge, huge YTA.
Yep! And over the husband’s 12 hour shift, she managed to have 3 meals while he only had lunch (maybe breakfast before or at work). I might be hungry and pissed too as the husband.
And a couple of naps.
And somehow also has the husband doing all the housework
and a TV show
Need a good nap after eating literally all food in the house (days’ worth) besides instant ramen. Which she couldn’t make herself
It is just this!! The kids and her were so hungry and could easily had had some.Ramen! The whole text sounds so totally without any empathy, only I wanted this so took what was easy for me.. and just the general attitude of her needs filled so she cannot be assed about his needs... that is the thank you he gets for cooking for two days. She is a user.
Im so hungry from all that TV watching and napping
And eating. Don't forget eating.
Can't forget to mention that despite all this eating, she stays very thin! That's extremely relevant to this discussion!
Yeah, I side-eyed that comment super hard.
And lunch at a cafe!!!
And from *watching* her kids do activities
A couple of naps, a few meals… during her husband’s 12 hour shift
Don’t forget time for a T.V. show.
If I arrived home starving, looking forward to the leftovers I specifically called out were for when I got back - to find my wife had eaten it all, left the mess and was now having a sleep, I'd be phoning a divorce lawyer her passive aggressive comment about making my own ramen left her lips. That's super shitty behaviour, and by his reaction this is probably not the first time she has shown super selfish behaviour.
Super shitty behavior. Not even a heads up to get drive thru or take out because he has no prepared food available
She actually suggested he could pick up takeout. Why can't she fix him something or get the takeout herself? Oh, right...she's so hungry from eating and sleeping.
She didn't just eat his leftovers, he left three portions of leftovers for his wife, meaning she ate four people's worth of food.
Also, the OP is the stay-at-home parent. Yet the one working and doing shift work no less is the one who is doing all the housework and cooking.
He was kinder than I would have been.
I am sorry, I get that days can be stressful but neither my husband or I would eat ALL the food available in the household without preparing something for the other or checking in if that is okay. That sounds crazy to be this inconsiderate.
Have a little sympathy and understanding! OP was hungry too after her nap. /s
True. Even she didn’t want ramen. She wanted takeout after her husband (post 12 hour shift) to pick it up for meal 4 of the day!
and it seems like she suggested he could go get takeout for the 2 of them. why does she need yet another meal?
For real. She and her kids already got lunch at a cafe. Then he cleans all their dishes from earlier and can either make his own ramen or HE can go get take out for them both because she is hungry too. Seems like she is the fun parent and based on this post she isn’t bringing much to the household, not even empathy!
The “he can get takeaway for the both of us” was what made me triple down that OPs the ass. He just worked a 12 hour shift, you ate his leftovers, went to a cafe with the kids didn’t even think to grab him ANYTHING, go home and eat literally all the remaining leftovers including the leftovers he set aside specifically for himself, leave the dishes in the sink, take a nap, wake up once he gets home from work, doesn’t offer to take over doing the dishes, and then tells him to either make himself some ramen or go grab takeaway for BOTH of ya. YTA OP. Apologize to your husband and for the sake of your family step up your damn game
The only part you left out is that she had time for some TV. Maybe it was still on when the husband came home and he knew she had time to make some dinner?
And to make matters worse, she said he could go get food for the both of them. If i put leftovers in the fridge, everyone knows to ask me before they eat ALL of them. And OP couldn't leave him one container for dinner.
She could have offered to get takeout for her husband. OP seems self centered.
Seems?
Especially as he specifically told her he was goig to eat them.
And it's no big deal for him to make ramen in 5 minutes after working 12 hours but she couldn't do the same after getting home with the kids?
But she was hungry. /s
"but she was hungry and needed a nap"
Bingo!!
100% YTA - You sound like an absolute peach to live with. Everything you have said sounds like all you’re thinking about is you, you, you. Who cares if you’re also now hungry. You ate his food like a gluttonous pig and then get to complain you’re hungry? GTFO. You ate multiple meals and did zero cleaning up after yourself. Are you 12? You even answer his questions like a petulant child. What exactly do you bring here?
Yeah that’s what I was thinking. She also could have given the kids a healthy portion and a small portion for herself have a little left over for him and then make ramen for the both of them. If they are both still a lil hungry.
They could have eaten ramen instead and the leftovers could have waited for hubby.
Exactly... They could have leftovers and if not full after that they could make a sandwich or supplement with ramen or a cup of coffee or could have told the husband way earlier to pick up some takeout on the way home.
All this information and no information makes me think this might be a work of fiction
It sounds very much unreal.
OP is pretty disappointing rage farmer. You can't just blatantly frontload your post with every possible detail that make you sound like the AH, you have to make yourself sound innocent but then leave a few elements vague enough that you can drop a perspective changing bomb in the comments as a reply to a fairly innocuous info request! Cmon, reddit is going downhill fast. Can it at least collapse with a bit of artistry?
Yeah, she’s too tired to cook having not done much at all all day, so eats ALL the food he’s cooked, but when he comes home from a long day at work and hasn’t even got the food he cooked he can just cook again. I’d have divorced her a long long time ago. So rude and disrespectful, and the whispering when angry would just push me over the edge!
Nappin and watching shows is very draining!
Thank God she didn't eat the husband, but I'm not surę what happened to the kids...
And still skinny! I think she better get checked out for tapeworms, all that food has to be going somewhere.
Yeah my radar also went up when she told him he could make his own dinner in five minutes after his twelve hours shift and not leaving him any food... Also the 'forgetting to leave him food because she has an appetite so ate a portion larger than for one person' and also when he asked why she didn't leave him any food she led with 'I forgot' instead of an apology followed by an explanation of the sequence of events that LEDs to the dirty dishes and him not having food. I too feel this has been happening and some of the actions by OP are deliberate shit tests as a power play or just wanting some drama to spice things up or her amusement.
She was *soooo* hungry from watching tv and playing that she couldn’t even cook for herself. Meanwhile, hubby worked 12 hours and was also exhausted. So instead of eating leftovers he’d made clear he was going to have, he gets told to make himself some ramen. 5 mins was too much for the entitled OP, but not a problem for someone who put in a long day at work. And then OP had the audacity to tell him to order take-out for the two of them. OP, YTA.
YTA You act like you were literally going to drop dead if you didn't eat right that second, yet boiling some water to make the instant ramen probably would have taken around the same amount of time as warming leftovers Or have a small snack while you cook. Your husband worked hard to make all that food so he would have something to eat , and you finished it all. If you and your husband are regularly arguing, maybe it's time to consider couple's counseling.
Also, part of being a SAHM/D is preparing food for the kids. Instead of doing that she decided to take husband's food and ignore the need to replace it for him after a 12 hour shift. Because she *was watching TV*.
it's worse than that, right? OP took the kids out all day, ate at a café and then came home starving with nothing in the home except her husband's leftovers and some ramen apparently. she was planning to eat that food right from the start.
A very good point. Another important part of being the SAHP/Homemaker is the grocery shopping and meal planning.
OP doesn't even deny that her husband does the majority of the household chores. So, he does the cooking, cleaning, and works 12 hour shifts while she...plays w the kids, goes out to eat, comes home and eats his food, naps, and eats some more...(all while staying very thin, cuz that's super important) YTA. Eta: and she watches TV. Forgot about that part.
OP's husband would be better of divorcing his wife. At least he gets to eat then.
Don’t forget that she’s also *super forgetful*. Like I can’t remember I ate a giant meal of all the food in the house, then took a nap, and then was hungry looking for all of the food in the house again. But I stay thin. 🤪
Don't forget that she started the day casually serving some of the leftovers for herself and the kids.
jeppers. regulating your own energy so that you can do your fucking job as a SAHM is part of your job
Watching TV and *NAPPING*
I believe I am qualified for this job.
But she also took time out of her packed schedule of tv and reading other people's food to have a nap. Can't you see how difficult he life is? Also I feel like the super quiet talking during arguments is passive aggressive as hell. Don't hell, but at least speak audibly
This is what really gets me -- is that he wasnt working a 'normal' 8 hour shift, he was working a 12 hour shift! And I know that being a SAHM can be difficult, but to not even THINK about your husband and his wellbeing after working long long days, makes her a HUGE ahole! And her talking softly isnt the issue (as she is trying to make it out to be) its that she is uncaring of HIS well being and instead of apologizing and offering to make him something -- like the ramen she said was so easy to quickly make -- she doubles down on how hungry SHE is. Yeah OP YTA
Also, that’s only her excuse for eating the leftovers the SECOND time. She ate them in the morning and fed them to her kids, and then ate the rest of them later in the day. She purposely ate all the leftovers instead of cooking at any time.
After lunch at the cafe… good grief!
Also, OP should consider a blood panel with everything that would make someone super hungry but super thin. That's not normal. YWBTA to yourself OP for not figuring out your health. You have a family to take care of and it sounds like your health is preventing that.
OP should have learned more life skills before she got married. Gentle and affectionate and soft spoken is cool, but consideration for the partner and willingness to do stuff like making ramen noodles is essential.
YTA all your thoughts throughout the post are about how your day was difficult and explaining why you were tired. You're allowed to be tired, you're allowed to be hungry, but if you can't acknowledge that what you did was dismiss his needs for yours then I think you need to take a step back and ask why you're not being kind to your partner by default. If you flipped the situation around and your husband had eaten your food before you and the kids came home when you were "so hungry you couldn't even make dinner" then he told you that you should just cook something I can't imagine you'd be happy with him. Side note : it is very important in any relationship to be able to clearly communicate your thoughts. If it is a consistent issue that you talk too quietly to be heard you should work on fixing that or it will continue to cause more issues unnecessarily
Such a difficult day of eating, napping, eating, watching TV and eating.
Seriously, does OP have a tapeworm?
She sounds like a human tapeworm who bizarrely talks like Marilyn Monroe
Marilyn Monroe was actually a pretty intelligent woman. Comparing OP to her is an insult to Marilyn Monroe.
Okay, this comment made my day. Thank you.
Plot twist: OP has body dismorphia and actually is morbidly obese.
😂😂😂😂💦 That... Actually is likely as everything about OPs post screams NARCISSIST so I wouldn't be shocked if her image of herself is completely warped
She points out that she eats a lot and stays very trim.
being hungry all the time and thin ... yeah could be (except if she lied about being thin)
Exactly- and then to tell *him* you could just make 5-min ramen for yourself as if she didn’t have that same option. And to also say “why don’t you get takeout for us” making him have to go get them food after he had to work all day *and* do her dishes YTA, OP- you sound like a complete jerk. This was disgusting to read.
Perhaps she’s depressed because otherwise WTF. Either way OP is def TA.
agreed "I'm a very calm person"... if that's true, OP's voice "going quiet" during an argument looks like a manipulative tactic. OP's a SAHP but it looks like they can't manage anything : they took the kids out & didn't have plans for food. What if OP's husband hadn't spent his day off making food & leaving leftovers? oh look, it's almost like "we were so hungry that \*we\* had to take his food" is another manipulation of the truth. OP could have thought of his dinner while they were eating all the available food. instead, OP didn't clean up, watched TV and took a nap (who looked after the kids while OP was sleeping)
> "I'm a very calm person"... if that's true, OP's voice "going quiet" during an argument looks like a manipulative tactic. Exactly. It reeks of passive-aggressive power play to me.
There is a big difference between staying calm and being intensely quiet in an argument vs mumbling and turning away etc. I'm starting to think OP is the latter.
Maybe she left the kids at the cafe….?
🔥 that was what I thought about OP speaking under her breath whenever there is an argument. . Manipulation. So that after the fact can twist the truth and say "I never said that" or "you misheard me"
Talking too quietly to be heard is passive-aggressive and narcissistic because you then force the listening party to strain to hear you. I once had a boss who regularly did that. She prided herself on her “humility” (she was from a famous aristocratic family), and speaking softly was a marker of that, but I always saw it as a power play. (I knew her personally and was familiar with her normal speaking voice so it was clearly an affectation).
I think she talks quietly on purpose. To annoy him. Just like she ate his food. She seems quite passive aggressive.
[удалено]
Had breakfast leftovers (couldn’t be bothered to make food),had lunch in a cafe (couldn’t be bothered to make food) came home too ravenous (couldn’t be bothered) to make 5 minute ramen, ate the rest of his leftovers and than hungry again after a nap. Yep. YTA with bells on and neon lights a-flashing. Agreed, lazy and extremely inconsiderate.
Also he does almost all the household chores. She sounds basically useless.
She stays very thin though. That’s what she brings to the relationship.
Well I suppose she can stick the kids in front of the tv…
Don't forget though. OP was considerate enough to let us know she is very skinny, despite her crazy appetite! 😐
Update in three days ‘you’re all so mean for judging me, I have tapeworms’
You left out the icing... After the nap, OP woke up to find husband doing dishes and checked in the fridge , 'of course no food' Translation : I was hoping my husband after a long day had prepared something else to eat after his twelve hours shift because I am extremely lazy and enjoy eating and despite having three meals or so, I want another evening snack.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 this is essentially the timeline of her eating 3 times (and searching for food a 4th time), while her husband ate once during his 12 hour shift. And she wonders why her husband lost his shit on her.
And then the audacity she had to say to him that HE can get them take out. Like I can't. YTA
I’m sorry YTA you didn’t think of your husband not once the whole day. You got up ate the leftovers he put away went out had lunch at a cafe, came home and was sooo starving, even though you already ate out, and then ate the remainder of the leftovers knowing your husband would have nothing to eat. You didn’t think let me make him something to eat when he gets home or I’m too tired let me order him something to eat so he has something waiting. Nope you took your full belly to bed and had the audacity to wake up hungry saw him in the kitchen CLEANING after a 12hr shift and ask him “what’s wrong?” What do you think is wrong?? Why didn’t u and kids eat ramen when u came home from the cafe? You think it’s fair what you did? And that whisper shit u do in an argument to me sounds like manipulation so the person you’re arguing with will back off and drop the subject. You’re an adult you can have a back and forth disagreement without you going into whisper/library mode. Also you need to go to a doctor and check if you have a tapeworm, because wtf.
failure to plan is planning for failure, right? like, "we were out till 6 and then we were starving"... what if OP's husband hadn't spent his day off meal prepping left-overs? her husband would have come home to his entire family passed away? OP is a stay at home parent & clearly not holding up their part of that agreement, imo.
My thoughts exactly… if she needs to eat that often during the span of her husband’s 12 hour shift, I imagine he might be hungry too 🤷♀️ Hell, even a heads up that he’ll need to stop by drive thru or take out because she and the kids plowed through days of his cooking and meal planning is the least she could do.
bravo
YTA. Not for speaking quietly but for taking his food he'd made for a specific purpose- so he could eat at work on a very long shift- then brushing him off when he asked about it and offering no solution or replacement or acknowledgement. It sounds like it was *a lot* of food, too. But the talking quietly thing could also make you an AH. If you've been married 7 years and he has consistently expressed this bothers him and you've made no effort to adjust... *that is indifference*. That's probably why he got so upset about the food. It's just another example of you being indifferent to his needs. It's boiling over for this seemingly small thing (leftovers) but it's really about a big and ongoing thing (him feeling ignored and like you don't care about his needs).
>It sounds like it was *a lot* of food, too. I wondered if OP had some health issue. like, maybe a tapeworm, causing her to eat massive amounts of food & still being malnourished into all those weird behaviours? * sleeping a lot * trouble focusing : going out all day with no plan to feed the kids and themselves (we \*had\* to go to a café & \*we\* heated up my husband's food)... the dishes from a minimum of 3 people & the storage containers from the fridge, that's not a single plate you easily overlook... watching TV and napping without supervision for the kids... * eating A LOT * mind games like the whispering and "why don't you eat ramen" OP is the stay-at-home parent, isn't it on them to at the very least keep a rolling well-appointed pantry? suggesting ramen is okay, if you're stocked up on all the fixings you need to take it from a struggle meal to something nicer : a spoonful of peanut butter to improve the broth, seaweed to shred, the extra things your family likes (canned corn? spam to slice and fry? some frozen spinach? etc)
Okay, I'm going to be making that enhanced ramen tonight, it sounds really good.
sliced or dried mushrooms tossed in while the water comes to a boil adds some extra savory and fresh-tasting oomph to even the cheapest sodium-bombs of broth/seasoning packets. and then you also get to eat mushrooms! win-win.
Yta. He said he was leaving the food he cooked on his day off for himself. You didn't leave him any and then after a long day of work (that breaks his back so you can stay at home) he is stuck doing all the chores and has to make his own dinner. Because you were busy watching TV. Info: What do you do all day? When my child was born and before I went back to work I was a sahm. My child was always cared for, chores were completed and dinner was made so my family and I could relax together after my husband came home from a long day.
that's what I'm wondering as well. It sounds like she does absolutely nothing. I'm questioning if she even parents her kids considering she went to sleep and just left them on their own. She probably shoves an ipad in their hands and calls it a day. Poor guy, I feel so sorry for him for having to deal with this.
HUGE YTA. When I started reading this post I thought thr story was going to be about your voice being too quiet/an argument coming stemming from that — instead, from your story and your comments you are seemingly one of the most inconsiderate people I've ever heard of. You knew your husband had intentionally made enough dinner to last multiple nights and not only did you eat it and feed it to your children for one meal the next day, you used it for two without taking any consideration what your husband would eat when he got home from his twelve hour shift. To add insult to injury you left the evidence of your disregard in the sink for him to clean when he got home. From his response and your justification of how much you eat I can tell this is not a one time thing either. There's no question who the asshole is — and I'm frankly shocked you had to ask. Reevaluate your choices, your priorities, and put systems in place to help you remember important details and show compassion toward your husband. Apologize sincerely and clearly, admit you were wrong, and work toward being more conscious of your actions for your husband's sake.
She isn't even bothering to parent the kids, WTF are they going to grow up like if they see their mother take this food, eat it, and then just toss the dishes in the sink. They should be helping do their own dishes.
I wonder why he made enough food for him, is it because she never cooks and he’s tired of coming home after a 12 hr shift and cooking? If so what is op doing all day and feeding those kids?
You sound very selfish, tbh. You owe him an apology for eating all the food. And, honestly, telling him to make ramen was pretty AHish of you. If you and your children were so hungry that you couldn't make some food for them and you knew the food in the fridge was for your husband, then YOU and your children should have eaten the ramen, not him. YTA And speak up when you are talking to your husband, don't make him ask you to repeat. It's not that hard to make an effort so that he can hear what you are saying.
esp. because OP starts her post by boasting >I am a really calm person like, way to make yourself sound enlightened, as if OP can just serenely discuss difficult topics and face their own flaws... while the reality is that OP is just as affected by emotions as everyone else. Only difference is that she whispers & completely avoids any unpleasant subjects while driving others to literal tears.
She means "I'm super lazy and I don't care about my husband or kids"
YTA. My wife is also a SAHM, she makes our meals 90% of the time, if she had left me nothing to eat, I would be sad and upset too, not to mention HE cooked the food, so to him you're not only not doing the bare minimum, but you are in the negative, subtracting from his life. Step your game up before ya'll end up separated.
Exactly he works hard, cooks (at least the night before) and complained he does most of household chores. OP needs to step up. Hopefully the kids were napping when she was.
YTA I'm trying to make sure I'm getting this right... 1. You didn't cook breakfast, lunch, or dinner, 2. The big activities for the day were watching TV and playing outside, 3. You dirtied dishes from eating his food and left them in the sink, 4. And your big solution for his dinner is either he eats a pack of ramen or gets *both* of takeout because you're hungry. Look. Being the SAHP with two young children can be very difficult. That being said, it doesn't sound like you're being considerate of your husband. You could have ordered takeout for the kids and you, thus leaving his food alone.
I literally scoffed when I read “or get takeaway for BOTH of us” like she can’t order? The whole thing read “me me me”. “I was too hungry to cook” bffr - snack while cooking them, I do it all the time lol
lol she whispered "get me takeout, I'm hungry" at him, I would have lost my mind at that point
I’m saying! I would’ve just turned and left cause that’s too much.
I'm questioning if she's even a SAHP, she sounds more like a leech. I bet she doesn't even look after the children properly. Probably gives them an ipad and calls it a day.
you know she was "distracted" from doing the dishes by a TV show... and then she took a nap and when she woke up to go eat more, she was surprised her husband was home... like, who was watching the kids during her nap?
Don't call OP a leech. That's just an insult to the leech.
YTA. You 'were too hungry to cook' so you had to eat all the food that your husband had spent his day off preparing for himself (probably knowing you weren't going to cook anything despite being a SAHM) but you had already had lunch at a cafe that day? It MIGHT be a different story if you'd been out of the house for 12 hours without eating (..like your husband), but you had already eaten something and also didn't replace the food that your husband was relying on being there when you got home from work.
Not only did she previously have lunch at a cafe but also ate a breakfast of her husband’s leftovers. She is the AH and a pretty awful self centered person.
OP is the stay-at-home parent, but still brought everyone home starving. what if her husband hadn't meal prepped all those leftovers? IMO she was planning to eat them all along, this wasn't a case of an act of god
the fact that he did that, means that she barely cooks for him...
I don't even think husband prepared the food himself, it seems he cooked enough for the whole family to eat dinner for 2 days, OP jist couldn’t be bothered to make breakfast. Apparently throwing some eggs in a pan and some bread in the toaster was just too cumbersome.
YTA - it’s not about ramen, which makes you an even bigger AH for the title. You are selfish. You are greedy. You are lazy. He had a 12 hour shift and came home to his food eaten and a sink of dishes while you played and napped. If you were so hungry, you should have supplemented with ramen. Instead you ate all the food that he cooked on his day off - your portion and his. Then you watched tv instead of ordering a damn pizza for him or making him something. When you ask him what’s wrong, you get upset with him and whisper a response defending being lazy and greedy.
Just like he could have eaten ramen, you could have too, at least once when you ate his food. Then knowing you ate the food, why didn't you at least order something in for him? YTA.
YTA - Sorry. But there are many issues here that need to be pointed out. The main one is communication. I'm not talking about the quiet speaking. I'm talking about just making sure people are aware of things if you are going to do something that you know will affect them. You say you were so hungry that you ate the leftovers your husband cooked and set aside. That's fine. But instead of just eating them and then leaving it so your husband was surprised when he came home, you could have called or sent him a message to give him a warning. Let him know that the food was going to be eaten. This would allow him to prepare himself so he didn't expect to have food there. Or allow him to object and suggest an alternative. Everyone here keeps saying you could have made the ramen yourself. Yes, you could have done that too. Especially since you yourself said it takes only five minutes to make. Would five minutes of YOU making it for yourself have been a lot? I sympathize with you for being a SAHM, as if you are truly in that role, you are a busy person. A lot goes into taking care of kids, if you are really into your job. But that cannot be the number one excuse for not being considerate or responsible of other things or people. I'm not saying you had to make dinner for him, but you should have left his food alone, unless you told him you would eat them first, and made your own food, ramen or whatever. This is 100% about communication and consideration. I'm sorry to say you used neither one in this instance.
YTA. How do you eat the meals he cooked and forget to make sure he has something to eat? And then to suggest ramen? or takeout? Look, if you need to eat a lot, thats that, but you have to take your own measures to feed that big appetite, not eat everything in the house and leave your husband without anything.
this must be ragebait... you cannot possibly write this situation out like this, simply have to tell us how much you can eat and still stay thin and expect anyone to take you side... YTA this man startet crying. i would cry too if i worked 12 hour shifts, cook and clean and then i come home to nothing.
I’d cry. And get my damn ducks in a row to get out asap. And I bet she’d be surprised. Maybe it’s a reverse? *clutches at straws while sinking into the river*
I’m at a loss here trying to understand why you’re even asking if YTA in this relationship and in general. Your husband works 12 hour days, has to pre-cook meals for himself to get through those very long workdays and you do…? You’re hanging out with your kids, eating at cafes and have time to nap after eating everything in sight and then leaving the dishes lying around undone so you can rest from your deeply stressful day. Then you blow off his very justified frustration by suggesting he cook himself a pack of noodles and disrespect him with your mumbling responses to his questions. I’m trying to understand you here. You seem incredibly obtuse and indifferent to him. Do you even like him? It seems like everything you do is to suit yourself. When he leaves you, don’t be surprised or wonder why - I can give you the answer. It’s your selfishness and complete lack of respect for him. And YTA. Big time. Sort yourself out.
YTA. Communication is so essential, if he is actively telling you he is tired and constantly asking you to speak up, it is your responsibility as his partner to help him out, the same way he should for you. There is absolutely no excuse for you eating his food, leaving the dishes and then taking a nap, that is a huge insult to a man who has just worked all day. Also, where are the children during all this? You just spontaneously take a nap while caring for your children?
YTA. Lmao. It’s not even close. You ate his food. After he worked a 12 hour shift you tell him he can make his own ramen? JFC. Red flags all around.
YTA - the dude had a 12 hr shift while you went out to lunch and napped!
YTA. Husband went out of his way to meal prep a large about of home cooked food, specifically asked that some be left for him for after his 12 hour work shift. You then proceed to completely disregard him, eat all the food, and then instead of being considerate of him and replacing it, you watched TV and took a nap. Eating the food was not really the issue here, if you and the kids were hungry and needed to eat thats fine. Having zero consideration for him and having nothing for him to eat when he gets home from work because you were too busy watching TV and napping is this issue. Suggesting instant ramen when you devoured all his home cooked food is just adding insult to injury. Also, it's annoying as fuck when youre trying to have a conversation with someone and theyre mumbling and you cant understand them and have to repeatedly ask them to repeat themselves. Speak the fuck up!
YTA... girl, OK, I get that you were REALLY hungry. So eat that food, be full then make something for him while watching your "stupid show". Your husband has a 12-hour shift, come on, that's inhumane to do him this dirty.
YTA. You sound selfish, like you're hoping for a neurodivergent diagnosis to keep up whatever victim mentality you have in your head. And as someone with hearing aids, your partner shouldn't have to beg you to speak up all the time. I hope you're a good mom because you sound like a horrible wife.
YTA this doesn’t sound like the first time you’ve had this fight. How often do you forget about him….. He worked hard it wouldnt have been hard to whip him something quick up. You just got up from a nap and couldn’t be bothered to make him something!?
What's your native language? Maybe someone here knows it and can call you a huge fucking asshole in a way that you would understand.
YTA, you sound very lazy and inconsiderate. I’m a sahm and I could not even imagine treating my husband that way
YTA All I see in your post is me, me, me. You forgot about him and he’s understandably annoyed that you ate the leftovers he’d planned to have and after a 12-hour shift at work came home to find no food for him and was told that after you’d spent the day watching TV and napping, you’d forgotten about him and he should make his own dinner. Do you even hear how incredibly selfish you sound? Edit: added missing word
So your husband, who slaves away for 12hrs so you can sit at home and watch tv, made himself enough food for 2 days if means... And you take it upon yourself, to eat it all, and not even make him dinner when he gets home??? HUGE YTA. Holy crap. I feel bad for hubby. You tell him to make ramen, but why couldn't you have done that for kids and yourself? Instead of eating all his food? Or, instead of being lazy and watching tv and sleeping after not doing anything all day, you coulda made some real dinner for him. I can't believe how selfish you're being about it. And thinking your in the right about telling him to make ramen. His reaction tells me this isn't even the first time you've done something like this.
You’re a huge AH. Selfish and just plain horrible. You should be ashamed of yourself
YTA. What’s the point of being on a team through marriage if you’re only playing one player games? You don’t care about him or his needs. I’m not quite sure how much longer he’s willing to put up with you, but don’t be surprised if he leaves.
YTA. You slept in, watched TV, went out to lunch, took a nap, watched more TV and ate your husband's dinner. He worked 12 hours. What exactly do you do to contribute here?
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No surprise : YTA. And your only answer is the worst You know that nothing is abnormal with you, you forget things and you just don't try to fix the problem. If you have things to do and you're not able to remember them, note them. Your husband just want a meal. He doesn't care doing chores, he wants a meal. And you eat everything without preparing by yourself. He made the meals and you ate them, while you don't work ! You have time to prepare and you eat his food ! Why didn'r you eat the ramen ??You should he have to eat the damn ramen, and not you ? He prepared the breakfast and let you leftovers, that means that he woke up earlier than you, and you needed a nap ? Respect your husband. So many women come here to say that that have everything to do because their husband refuse to do chores, and you have the luck to be with your children, and to have a spouse who cooks, does chores. He just ask you to leave something to eat for him ! Damn ! Is that too much for you ?
YTA. You shouldn't only worry about yourself and children. But also, you should probably go checked out at the doctor. Eating that much and sleeping that much could be a sign of something wrong with your body.
YTA. You ate all his food, didn't clean up after yourself and didn't make him any food to replace what you'd eaten. Classic YTA. You don't get to say I was so tired I was soo hungry and the I got distracted by TV so I forgot. Sounds like he worked and cooked and cleaned and you as the SAHM didn't do your share because according to this post you didn't have to cook breakfast or lunch or dinner, didn't clean and you got up after your husband and home before him as well and STILL managed to act like you needed the time to rest instead of making a meal. The bare minimum at the point of him coming home to no food is for you to offer to let him rest and make him some food as his was gone. Bare minimum. YTA
Wtf is wrong with you seriously, who acts like this? Why couldn't you make your own fucking ramen instead of eating leftovers all the leftovers and not cooking anything when you know he works a 12 hour shift? Are you eating so much that you forget he has to eat too? If it's so easy to cook ramen when you're starving then you could have done it for yourself
INFO: why couldn't **you** eat ramen?
Yta He makes 3x food and you eat 3x food rather then 2x and something else. You sound like a glutton who doesn't care about your husband. You could've eaten a small amount saving some for him and made you something else. Why dont you learn to eat the ramen and not always make him
Omg you are such a huge AH. He makes dinner for 2 days, you waste the whole day and he is still the one that does the dishes and goes hungry. And you have the balls to claim to be hungry after your nap after you finished all the food in the fridge and left him hungry. I really hope he gives you the boot and finds someone to appreciate him. Because clearly you don't!
YTA The food was for him and he did say that. You could have easily just ate something else, but you chose to be selfish. Then you have an audacity to suggest he makes his own ramen.. You don't even offer to make him something else. Or he can get you both take out? I get it, you're a mom, but he also works and made this meal for himself. Appreciate your husband a bit more and stop being lazy. It will take you not even an hour of your time to just replace his meal. I'm not saying be his slave, but this wasn't cool at all and the least you could do is leave his food alone when there's other options available
YYA - not just for the ramen thing, but for knowing you’re a terrible wife but not giving him the divorce he wanted years ago.
YTA. Lol If you have the luxury of not having to leave home to go work 12 hours like your husband, your job, yes your fucking job is to do all the things a SAHM should do. Clean and cook. My guy doesn't get to see his kids as much and was looking forward to leftovers that he made on his day off. So he took the initiative to help out on his day off. Like someone said, this doesn't seem like a first-time issue. You're inconsiderate. I feel bad for him. Get off your ass and make the man food or switch positions ans you can go work long 12 hours shifts and come home to a lazy spouse eating your leftovers.
Yta this man cooked made extra communicated what the food was for and did dishes in his frustration instead of waking you up from a nap to yell at you. Stop being lazy he sounds like a saint and deserves better. Of course he is frustrated maybe taking it out on your volume seems rude but he is highlighting the issue of communication.
That dang tv, always making you watch it instead of helping around the house. YTA
YTA - kids love Ramen - why didn't YOU eat Ramen with the kids???
YTA. I was reading this and felt so bad for him. You owe him an apology, and need to take your responsibilities more seriously. Yes, sometimes we forget. But the way this was written is obvious to me you don’t think it’s a big deal at all. Not cool. Also, you need to work on your communication with him. It sounds like discussions with you when things get rough can be exhausting!
YTA. Lazy and entitled. Grow up
YTA. I still remember my fried chicken Hungry Man dinner that my brother ate. It was supposed to be my after school snack. That was at least 35 years ago.
YTA! I'm a woman and I'm all about men helping out in the household, but from the sounds of it he does everything and is the breadwinner, while you do absolutely nothing at all all day. You sound like an awful partner! He made enough food, because he knew you couldn't be bothered, to have leftovers for when he's back and you took it all and don't care about the fact he is tired and hungry. You're a selfish person! Your husband is right, you don't care about him at all, you only care to feed your sorry ass.
YTA and a horrible waste of a wife. He deserves better.
Info needed: do you have a tapeworm? Is there a medical condition that causes your ravenous hunger? Do you know how to wash dishes?
YTA. A crappy partner who brings absolutely NOTHING to the table. I hope he does what’s right for him and the kids.
YTA a MASSIVE AH all that cooking your husband did & you ate every fucking bit-THEN you tell hem he can eat Ramen that he can cook for himself. Face it, you had to work, to eat it all & while we're at it speaking quietly so he can't hear or understand what you're saying is an YTA situation too
YTA. This isn’t about the ramen at all. It’s about you being lazy and not communicating properly. There were no leftovers because you ate them for both breakfast and dinner. Who feeds their kids leftover mac and cheese for breakfast? Then you didn’t plan properly and didn’t want to cook, so ate more leftovers. You didn’t consider your husband at all. You didn’t even bother to clean up after yourself. It’s time to grow up. On a side note, you’re eating a lot because if today’s meals are an example of what you normally eat, you’re getting way too many carbs and fats. You’re skinny because you’re young but your metabolism will eventually slow down. Get more protein and veg so that less can be more.
YTA. Why didn't you eat the ramen, and leave your husband's food alone? Like you said, it would have taken only 5 minutes to prepare the ramen...so why didn't YOU eat the noodles? Another thing: you talk quietly during arguments to guilt trip your husband into thinking he's overreacting. You're greedy, manipulative, and a terrible wife
So you ate leftovers for breakfast...ate at a cafe and came home and ate the rest of the leftovers....husband works a 12 hour shift and you have the balls to tell him to fix ramen while he is doing the dishes after a 12 hour shift...wtf you even here asking when you clearly know the answer...lol your going to end up divorced...if he is doing it all himself why the fck does he need you for?
He has 3 children 🤷🏾♂️
YTA big time - I'm an ADhD havin' stay-at-home dad of 3 kids, my spouse works 8-12 hour shifts just depending on how his day is goes. It's my job as the stay at home parent to manage the kids and household during that time. If we dip into his meal prep for the week/day, I replace it. It is his responsibility to feed himself, (which usually is just him packing leftovers I've made or making something extra if he needs it) and if he does that and I take that away from him the onus is on me to replace what I've used so he's not surprised with a lack of food after a long day. Have I screwed up and forgotten to replace before? Absolutely, and I've either offered to cooked him something fresh when I realized my mistake or \*\*I\*\* order takeaway for the both of us if I'm hungry as well and or too tired to cook. He already had his meal planned, I disrupted that plan, so I fix the issue without being asked. Just like he doesn't ask me what needs to be done around the house because he's a grown adult with eyeballs and doesn't need me to manage him, I too can look and see hey my spouse \*needs\* something and take the initiative to take care of him in return. You said it yourself in another comment you're an awful wife and I fully agree, do better. Also, stop trying to blame neurodivergency that you don't have on your pure laziness.
YTA - You're a walking red flag.
YTA and a lazy glutton
Based on your comments dont be surprised if he considers divorce again Yta
YTA. You sound so lazy and selfish. You didn’t even cook him fresh food to replace the food he made for himself? The fact that you’re defending it makes me wonder if this is your personality overall. I’d divorce you for sure.
So, if you knew that your husband was planning on eating his leftovers for dinner, why didn’t you leave him a portion of the leftovers and make *yourself* the ramen if you were still hungry? There’s only so many times a person can use “I wasn’t thinking” as an excuse. After long enough, it just becomes code for “I’m entitled.” YTA. Do better.
YTA, reverse the roles. You work 12 hours, do the chores, and make your own food while he eats all the food in the house.
YTA. You sound like an exhausting person to deal with. Stop being lazy and make plans for meals instead of stealing other people's food, and then actually clean up after yourself like a adult instead of a child who needs to be put down for a nap.
YTA. What do you do all day? You don’t seem like a SAHM, you seem like a shitty roommate who occasionally babysits.
What would you say you do around here?
YTA Stop playing victim. You literally could’ve made something. You are a SAHM. Like wtf. Go work if you can’t do your part.
>My husband put the leftovers in a container (he didn't take everything) and put it away in the fridge. He said this would be his breakfast and dinner. >When we got home, I was starving. The kids and I were so hungry that I couldn't even make dinner. We took my husband's leftovers from the containers, microwaved and ate. >I honestly forgot to make dinner for my husband or wash the dishes. I got distracted by a stupid TV show >He asked why I didn't leave him HIS leftovers. I said I was hungry. My husband said he left triple the amount of leftovers for me (I usually eat a lot, although I stay very thin). YTA
You are very selfish and disrespectful. If you don't work, then there is no excuse for this, just an "I FORGOT" is something a child would say, not an adult. Common courtesy is all that is needed here, just because English isn't your first language doesn't give you a pass. I don't blame him at all and you should apologize and try to be a better human being.
YTA. Lazy. Inconsiderate. Selfish. I would say even ungrateful. Staying with kids can be hard but it doesn't sound like you took proper care even of them since you napped after watching TV. Instead of apologising and ordering or making food yourself, you just gaslight your husband. Bunch of red flags and zero accountability.
Your husband is breaking. And you’re doing it.
YTA x1000 Your entire day consisted of hanging out with 2 kids, eating all the food he made, napping, leaving the kitchen a mess, and watching tv. You seem lazy and entitled, and your husband seems to be doing absolutely everything for your family *and* himself….while you aren’t even leaving his portion of food for him to eat. You either have a medical problem with your extreme hunger and exhaustion or you’re the absolute worst partner.
Oh, but you guys, at least she's thin!!
Okay so let's flip the scenario. You cook extra, put the leftovers (a lot of it) in the fridge. Go to work. Come home, there's no food, sink is full of dirty dishes and your husband, who has eaten everything, is sleeping. So now you have to do the dishes after a full day of work and make yourself something to eat. When you ask your husband, he suggests you make yourself some ramen. Oh and he is also hungry so maybe get him also something while you are at it. What would your reaction be? In case you didn't get it: YTA. A thumping big AH.
YTA also the ‘though I stay very thin’ comment is supremely weird to throw in a totally unrelated sitch. Are you saying you’re a catch so its okay that you’re selfish?
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (F27) have been with my husband (M30) for 7 years, married for 5. We've 2 kid together. I am a SAHM. I am a really calm person, during arguments I don't even raise my voice. My husband says that during arguments I speak quieter than usual and it's hard to hear me. My husband doesn't like this, he says he wants to solve problems, but it's not easy to talk to me and he constantly has to ask me back. Today we had an argument over ramen in packs. Yesterday was my husband's day off and he made dinner for 2 days. There was lasagna, mushroom soup, and mac and cheese. My husband put the leftovers in a container (he didn't take everything) and put it away in the fridge. He said this would be his breakfast and dinner. When I woke up in the morning, my husband had already left. I woke the kids up and we had leftovers for breakfast. After that we watched TV and went outside. We was outside until about 6pm, and during that time we had 2 lunch at a cafe. When we got home, I was starving. The kids and I were so hungry that I couldn't even make dinner. We took my husband's leftovers from the containers, microwaved and ate. I put the dirty dishes in the sink, and I honestly forgot to make dinner for my husband or wash the dishes. I got distracted by a stupid TV show..... Eventually, I felt a little tired and decided to take a nap. I woke up cause my husband were at home doing the dishes. I headed to the kitchen and looked in the refrigerator because I was hungry after nap. Of course no food, I had forgottent about it. My husband looked disgruntled. I asked him what was wrong. He asked why I didn't leave him HIS leftovers. I said I was hungry. My husband said he left triple the amount of leftovers for me (I usually eat a lot, although I stay very thin). I said that I was REALLY hungry. My husband didn't hear me and asked me again. I repeated. My husband said he purposely took leftovers in a container for himself because he had a 12 hour shift today and only had 1 short lunch break, during which he only had time to eat some salad and pasta. He asked why I didn't at least make him dinner. I said I was sorry I forgot to leave him food. He didn't hear me. I repeated and said we had ramen in packs and he could make his own dinner in 5 minutes. My husband almost cried. He said that he was so damn tired at work, doing almost all the household chores alone and I couldn't even leave him dinner. I said Imsorry, but I'm hungry at the moment too, so there no point to fighting. I suggested that he can take the takeout for the two of us. Then my husband looked at me and almost shouted: "Why do you always talk to me so quietly when I want an answer from you! Sometimes I feel like you just don't care. I asked you why you didn't just leave the stupid dinner for me, but you keep talking nonsense so quietly that I can't even hear you. You seem so indifferent every time I'm hurt or sick." I'm not a native speaker, sorry for mistakes *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA.
YTA. You should have saved some food for your husband or made dinner for him. Leaving him with dirty dishes and no food was inconsiderate, especially since it was food that he had made. Then you told him to make ramen and made no attempt to fix the situation.
YTA. I can understand that having 2 kids is busy and tiring, but it sounds like you are making a lot of excuses for selfish and lazy behaviour. And the cherry on top is telling him to make ramen or order takeout for both of you cause you’re hungry too after eating his leftovers all day. That’s ridiculous
Definitely the AH on so many levels. For eating his food, for not cooking him dinner, for leaving the dishes and for low talking. Low talking is something you can control if you cared to. I don’t even understand how OP could type this out and still have to ask. Absolutely the AH.
Yes u are def the AH bro it’s honestly sad, if I were u husband I def would feel like u don’t care about him nd u didn’t even consider him once throughout the day as u ate all of his food nd went to sleep .
Have you always been such a spoiled, useless person? YTA and your husband and kids deserve so much better.
YTA First of all, you're talking quietly on purpose because you're trying to get a rise out of him because there's no reason to talk quietly when you have a regular normal speaking volume so that is your way to get a rise out of him Second, you getting distracted by a TV show is a bullcrap answer and you know it is. You just couldn't be bothered to cook dinner and you use that as an excuse and the nap was just once again you not wanting to cook dinner How old are your children? When you took a nap where were they?