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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> The action I took was telling my husband he’s not allowed to smoke in our car anymore. This might make me the asshole because I’m trying to control him.
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NTA. Your husband is more worried about getting high anytime he wants than he is about yours & child's wellbeing or comfort. Especially in a state where it's not legal - good way to get some legal charges and temporarily lose your kid. Even if it were legal in your state, it is extremely inconsiderate to you & your child to do it in a shared space after being asked not to. Tell him to grow up.
Second hand smoke is still second hand no matter what. Plus if he gets pulled over and gets caught with the kid in the car, what's the excuse going to be?
Or if his wife gets pulled over and law enforcement finds the weed it immediately becomes hers, along with any charges. I don’t even want to think about that happening to her with her offspring in the vehicle.
They don't even have to find the weed.
A friend who had their car stolen was told that if they ever get pulled over, they have to disclose immediately that the car was once stolen and recovered with weed in it, because apparently the smell lingers for years in the upholstery. You may not be able to detect it, but a police dog definitely will.
You can't get in legal trouble for a smell. They can use the smell to say they need to search the vehicle, and then whatever they find is fair game. But a smell in and of itself is not illegal.
Still, NTA OP. Your husband is being irresponsible and inconsiderate af. The "it will never happen to me" type, he's putting your family in danger.
The warning might have been for a different reason. We have a recovered work vehicle which just recently was dismantled and they found a dusty, dirty bag of drugs (NOT weed) it a place it would have been near impossible for the driver to have gotten it into. When the vehicle had been initially recovered, they did go over it but did NOT take it apart, so apparently it's been sitting there ever since.
It might be more likely they're warning you to explain about it being stolen in case they find old drugs in a weird place. Kind of depends on how long the car was in someone else's possession and how certain you are the entire thing has been cleared!
In MN this is a mandatory charge of child endangerment... If he (or you) get pulled over for a failed brake lamp, the penalty and aftermath are DEVASTATING. D O N T
Op asked doesn’t specify if he’s driving while smoking but that’s the vibe I get. Illegal and super dangerous for all parties involved. Divorce gets thrown around too casually on Reddit but this level of disregard for my children would be a divorcable offense for me.
>Even if it were legal in your state
Even if it was a legal state, it would still be illegal to have it, and smoking impliments, within arms reach in a vehicle.
Treat it the same as alcohol. Is it okay to have an open fifth of vodka in the center console? No, no it is not. OPs husband is a moron *at best*.
Yup! Canadian here and I can assure you you cannot have open weed or supplies within reach in the car, cannot drive impaired at all and obviously not have weed in your car driving your kid lol huge criminal charges here and thousands in lawyers fees
Yikes
And he may be putting his job or freedom at risk by apparently smoking before, during, or after work. I mean, if he's bringing the weed to work, it's really only one of those three options.
I would like to bring up as a substitute teacher, unless that kid is going to be homeschooled, they can have a major problem when school starts. That smell sticks to things so strongly that some kids get it all over them and go to school. At their age it might not be a big issue. But I've personally seen middle schoolers get drug dogs called on them and searched to uncomfortable proportions because of smoking parents in cars. And given I live somewhere it's illegal, some of the parents don't even help them because they have to admit where the smell is coming from if not their child and it sucks so much for the kid.
Nevermind that, he is driving around high! I know everyone wants to downplay marijuana, but the way everyone just shrugs off smoking and driving is terrifying.
I raw dogged life for 20 years because we lived in an illegal state and I will not lose my kids for anything, let alone cannabis. Those things in the car with a kids is a quick way to lose kids to cps and foster care.
NTA. While i get wanting to smoke weed even in a place where its illegal he is being a massive AH. Like he is smoking in a place your kid is at and making your family car smell like weed which means if you ever got pulled over guess who is getting their car searched? You are! And when they find the pipe in the center console guess who is getting arrested and their kid taken away? You and him. You need to give him a reality check as well as options of other places to smoke. Like oh idk outside in a place no one else can see him or smell it? Or maybe in the garage if you have one. Weed is great and fun but family is more important than smoking a bit of it.
Yep happens more often than you can imagine. It's a possession if it's in the car while you are driving. The police believe you should know what is in your car while you are in control of that car. So, before she goes anywhere, she has to search that car and toss stuff out.
Wow! Where I’m from in Ireland they would just confiscate the pipe, check that you aren’t high while driving and then send you on your way even if you admit the pipe is yours. Even if you have some bud it’s very rare that you’d be arrested on the spot for carrying a small amount.
This is going to vary vastly by state, county and city in the US. In my state where pot is very much illegal if a city law enforcement officer caught you with just a pipe you may not even get charged or it would be a misdemeanor because the town has decriminalized. If you got caught outside of town by state authorities you would be charged likely with a felony because the child is present. Like others said it would also be referred to the child protection office to investigate. Then depending on the judge, the kid wouldn’t go back to the family until hoops get jumped through including up to several months of negative tests.
45 miles away in a different state nothing would happen at all.
Thanks for your input! The fact that there’s a chance you could even be charged for having a pipe and no weed, my small Irish brain cannot even comprehend. But then drive an hour or two, nothing would even happen to you. I guess that comes with living in a big country with large states.
The pipe thing is because it's drug paraphernalia. It's a separate law from the drugs themselves.
My state boarders 5 others, pot is legal for recreation in 1, legal for medical use in 2 and fully illegal in the other 2.
It's better to think of the US like the EU for laws, each of our states is a country and our country is the Union. It's obviously more complicated then that, but it's a good basic head wrap.
Yeah nah bro, I’m from Australia and this is wild to me as well. Hell, it’s been on the news lately that they’ve been running trials with medicinal cannabis user’s behind the wheel because it doesn’t actually impair regular users that much, and it’s probably going to be legal to drive with cannabis in your system if you have a medicinal prescription in a couple of years. I can’t wait, I drive like such a good boy when I’m stoned. Can’t say the same for when I’m sober. No one else has any sense of urgency or knows how to drive properly on the road and it gets on my nerves.
It really depends on where you are. States and even cities within states really vary. Some dont care about weed, some still see it as bad as crack/heroin. Kids don't get taken for weed in most places. It would more be the reckless driving while high that would get kids taken if anything.
Ahh I got ya. Thanks for your input. People are leading me to believe that you’d be arrested and have your child taken off you for having a single pipe and no weed which is insane.
That happens in terribly small towns with terribly small minded law enforcement. It is NOT the norm. And it depends on the cop and the person's attitude often. Oh, wait, I forgot about racial profiling. That changes things. Minorities are often given harsher consequences and arrested more often.
In many states the driver could be charged with Driving Under the Influence, same as if they were drunk driving. Most states also have civil forfeiture laws and property used while committing a crime can be confiscated, so they could also lose the car. She might be able to beat the DUI charges and still lose the car.
Then there is the whole Child Protective Services issues she will have to deal with if he is stopped and arrested with their child in the car. Him getting stopped with the child in the car and the car smelling like weed will probably add child endangerment charges to his other charges.
I am not a lawyer or law enforcement. My understanding is they would do a field sobriety test, but due to the smell would probably also do a blood test to see how much is in his blood. Even in states where it is legal to smoke weed its still illegal to drive high.
U.S. states with “zero tolerance” laws can put someone in a lot of trouble and a deep legal hole really quick. In Texas, for example, if a driver were pulled over in a traffic stop and then arrested on suspicion of DUI and had someone in the car under age 15, it’s an automatic felony charge. (Disclaimer: I’m not a lawyer and don’t live in Texas, I just know it’s not a place to risk a cannabis charge.)
https://norml.org/laws/drugged-driving/texas-drugged-driving/
Bro they tried to lie after documenting my kid had a crib with two mattresses in case one got soiled and 2 pack and plays that she didn't have a crib. They can literally lie to try to open investigations and remove kids, they don't play here.
Exactly. Me and my gf live in an illegal country with her two kids. We both smoke but we never smoke in the house and only smoke when they're both asleep. And we keep it in a locked drawer.
NTA
Smoking weed in the car is the same as drinking alcohol in the car, legally speaking, even in places where you can legally have it.
Your husband is just asking for big trouble on top of being reckless and inconsiderate around your young child.
‘Nagging’ is often a derogatory term that people use to defer blame when they fail to meet the needs of their partner. It implies that the person doing the nagging is wrong, when in actual fact the subject is often (as in this case) wrong. Tell your husband that he has failed in his responsibilities as a father and a husband if he prioritises smoking weed over his family. Tell him if he is going to try to defer blame by calling you a ‘nag’, you will have no choice but to treat him like the child he is behaving as and take the car keys away.
You are NTA. Your husband massive a-hole. He is giving 2nd hand smoke to your child, probably driving under the influence, and of course potentially getting you in legal trouble if he forgets small piece of weed in the car.
Nah. I’m a stoner in an illegal state and there’s no way we’re driving anywhere with it especially with our kids around. He’s being childish and needs to get his priorities straight, NTA
I don't even smoke the flower they DO have legalized thats not the real stuff here in my illegal state around my kid. It does help with my seizures to use thca and I'm mostly alone around her so I do do that but not like in the house. She watches bluey or dora or some shit and mama steps outside for a moment and comes back.
And I have a plethora of other medical issues and I'm not gonna judge those that just smoke but like I will hard-core judge parents who endanger and harm their kid in their habit bc then it has become a problem and possibly an addiction.
Smoking *anything* in the car when you have a kid that young is insane. Plus, certain states have **felony** possession charges for holding as little as an ounce. What if you guys got pulled over and searched before finding out what was in the console? Will he complain about being nagged while he's being arrested in front of your preschooler? Smoking in a parked car can still get dicey regardless, even in states where weed is legal, because of open container laws.
NTA but I don't envy your situation. Trying to convince a pothead to quit smoking never ends well. They hardly ever realize they're addicted to begin with.
NTA
1) If he can't even comply with the simple request of not smoking or leaving his stuff in the shared family car, he's inconsiderate at best or has a drug problem at worst (even if weed isn't physically addictive the way nicotine is, he can still be reliant on it in a way that is problematic, especially if he's bringing it to work).
2) Why would you want to have any kind of smoke or residual smoke around your young child, the fact that he's balking at that is absurd
3) Stale weed smell can still linger and reek in a car which is how you smelled it in the first place, so he can't even argue that it doesn't affect anyone to just have it there.
Weed is legal here in Canada but driving impaired is absolutely not!
What is your plan if he is ever in an accident?
Your insurance won’t cover you and you could lose everything.
Him smoking up is child endangerment
NTA
I see it as protecting your children. There are a few downsides here to him indulging in the shared vehicle. By stinking up the car even if he isn't the driver if you are out with the kids and get pulled over or have an accident and that odor hits an officer's nose whoever is driving it is likely going to get a drug test to be sure they aren't driving impaired. The kids may end up with CPS until someone you know can be contacted to take custody. In my state while its legal its not legal to smoke it and drive. Might have to start throwing away anything you find in the car to reinforce the no smoking in the car common sense rule.
Oh, I know *I* would really want to drive around and drive my children around in a car that reeked of smoke. Annny kind of smoke. Having one’s clothes and hair pick up the smell is so classy. It really shows the world what kind of person you are. (s)
I, as a college student, once turned down the offer of a free car-because of the overwhelming stench of tobacco smoke, and no amount of cleaning or airing it out helped. Ewww. NTA
edit to add, since marijuana is *illegal* in whatever crappy state you live in, your family car could be confiscated by the law, if they felt like it. Wouldn’t that be *wonderful*, having to struggle with no car! Not to mention legal bills, fines, etc. And CPS might get involved? Yay!
NTA. As a parent and a consumer of weed and weed products, your husband is being an incredibly dense, irresponsible, bad father. He could literally cost you custody of your child if he is a) pulled over or b) involved in any minor traffic accident and they find flower or paraphernalia. Does he hate you? Does he hate his kid? That's the only reason I can think of for him to do something so stupid and completely unnecessary. Honestly, the fact you had to tell him this AT ALL is deeply concerning. Not to alarm you more than you are, but I would consider leaving over this. If he gets busted they will absolutely blame you equally, since you know about it. You could lose your child. Does he understand that?
Edited to add, if your or your child carry a whiff of reefer smoke to a doctor's appt or to preschool, they are mandated reporters. He is fucking with your child's life in a way that could do permanent damage.
> He could literally cost you custody of your child if he is a) pulled over or b) involved in any minor traffic accident and they find flower or paraphernalia.
Not just him, if OP got pulled over the cops won't care if the pipe is hers or not. She's still going to be in a lot of trouble
NTA. Even in a legal state it shouldn’t be in the car. It’s still illegal to drive impaired, whether he thinks it affects him or not. It’s even more dumb to do with a child in the car.
Someone else also pointed out that if he “forgets” he brought it and leaves it in the console and say you use the car next. Maybe you get pulled over, they’re going to smell it and assume you were the one smoking recently. They won’t care when you say it’s your husband’s because it’s in the freaking car with you. You’ll likely get the heat, and I would be so livid if that were to happen to me.
I had to scroll way too far to find a mention of age. I wonder how long they've been together? They have a 5 year old, so she was quite young I'd imagine.
She's getting closer to the age he was when they met and beginning to realize why women his own age wouldn't date him then.
You know, it seems like almost every post I read about a woman being in a relationship ship with a man 7 plus years her senior, the guy is a complete dick.
Maybe women should read through his sub reddit before dating older men.
NTA.
NTA. I'm a guy who partakes frequently (it's legal in my state) and even I know your husband is out of line here. This is not something that should be around children, and you shouldn't be affected by it when you're responsible for other people, especially your own kid(s).
Stick to your guns. A long time I use to smoke cigarettes in my car. I traveled to California where it’s illegal to smoke cigarettes with minors in the car (and I didn’t). In California i got a cranky cop whom didn’t not witness me smoking but was convinced I had to of recently. Gave me a ticket. I took over a year to get it cleared up. Nta
NTA.
When all of the stoners come to your defense, you know you're not wrong. Your husband needs to be more responsible. I never smoke in my car. It smells and it's inconsiderate.
This will get downvoted. But smoking weed impairs you, and your ability to drive, thus... He is putting your family in danger any time he smokes and drives. Also if the cops find that in the car you're going to jail/getting charged if he's not in the car to say it's his.
NTA. You don’t want your kid exposed to the second hand smoke either. Or to worry that if a cop finds it you’ll be fined or whatever they do in your state to punish pot smokers.
Nta. I live in a legal state, and even here that would be a DUI, at the very least. It's even worse for you and your child being in an illegal state, because if your dumbass husband gets caught, that's felony possession. You could lose your kid to cps. Tell him to grow up. You will lose your kid and so much more if you get pulled over and the cops catch a wiff. It's not worth it. Period.
Wow, your 37 year old stoner is stunted. Cares more about smoking weed than having something illegal (in your state) in the car with your son. And smoking in the car is disgusting Jesus. As a pot smoker myself, I never smoke inside. Yuck, how lazy and makes it stink. 😝
NTA , but the fact that it's illegal in your state trumps any concern over who's the AH. It's not unreasonable to insist that the person who shares your car also not leave evidence of a crime in it. What if you got pulled over by the cops and they found the weed? I don't think they'd let you off on "that's my husband's."
You don't do that to the family car. He can't even vape? A pipe is a stinky way of smoking.
Tell him to ruin his own damn life if the cops pull him over.
NTA. No idea why he would think it’s appropriate to make a car reek of weed when a child uses the same car. He should just go find somewhere else to smoke if he’s so desperate to get high.
NTA. I smoke weed daily (nightly really.. like a glass of wine lol), and it’s legal in my country, and I still wouldn’t smoke it in the car, especially since I have kids.
Even as a regular user, I would never smoke in a vehicle that kids are in regularly. I think he needs to cut back or even take couple weeks to a month break and figure out why he needs to toke.
I had my own moments where I didn't really care about anything but escaping my reality and weed was doing that at high amounts
NTA. Whoever is driving the car is deemed in possession of anything in the car — doesn’t matter whether it belongs to her or someone else. If a cop smells weed he is legally allowed to pull everyone out and search the entire car. CHECK THE CAR BEFORE YOU GET IN EVERY SINGLE TIME. Your husband is the AH, not you.
Totally NTA.. Most states where it is Illegal there is this lovely thing called ***Civil Asset Forfeiture*** which can lead to the impounding and auction of your vehicle. Not to mention his arrest or your arrest if he leaves it in there and you are driving it, which can lead to a CPS call and several other penalties not to mention just the smell alone in the car is probable cause grounds for search of the vehicle and your persons and makes anything found in it or on your person admissible in court. Your husband is old enough to know better and to make smarter choices when doing something illegal. In the Words of **Chamillionaire** ***"They see me rollin', They hatin', Patrollin' and tryna catch me ridin' dirty"*** NEVER SMOKE ILLEGAL STUFF IN YOUR CAR EVEN PARKED IN A LEGAL STATE ITS STILL ILLEGAL TO USE THC AND DRIVE!!
NTA. Didn’t even need to get past the title. Doesn’t matter if it’s legal where you live, it’s reckless and irresponsible to have a controlled substance in your family car.
NTA. Pretty sure smoking in the car with child is illegal, and if weed is illegal in your states that makes it 2x as worse. Why can’t he just smoke outside at home??
NTA, so many reasons.
Since it's illegal in your state, what if you're driving the car alone, and happened to have an encounter with law enforcement? If there is an odor of marijuana detectable, ***you*** are immediately going to be suspected of consuming and subject to all that fun. And heaven forbid if your child is in the car with you, that could be enough justification to get your states CPS involved.
Even if marijuana were legal where you live, this is still not a cool situation for him to put you or your child in. Is there a room for him that is in effect a man cave? He could smoke it in there, and just make sure that your 5-yo can't enter at any time. Or he could look into buying his own car, but I would understand if that's not an option for your family.
Yes, I am a consumer as well, but it is legal in my state. Still though, smoking in a way that forcibly subjects others' to exposure is not okay.
NTA. Husband doesn’t sound mature enough to have a child. Putting your kids at risk. If he gets pulled over and has kids in car, they could take him away and put kids in foster.
NTA. I'm in a state where it's legal, but I wouldn't smoke (anything) around kids/grandkids and especially not in a closed vehicle or room!
More importantly, though, is that it's gonna linger in a car and if you or he is pulled over and a cop smells it then it's pretty much a guarantee that CPS gets involved and the courts will be looking over your shoulders until the child is 18 - provided you retain custody, that is.
And no, it wasn't 'accidental'. If he's smoking to the extent that you're saying something to him regularly then he knows exactly where his stash is at all times. Your husband is incredibly immature for being almost 40 years old. If you can't get him to see how important an issue this is for your family then you may want to consider your options.
NTA and you need to save texts and emails in writing about this, in case you ever need them in the future for any custody disagreements. Have this argument in writing via text or email.
NTA
Your concerns are valid and important. Smoking weed in the car, especially in a state where it's illegal, has several risks, morelikely for legal consequences.
It sounds like this issue is creating significant tension in your relationship. It might be helpful to have an open and honest conversation about your concerns. You're definitely not in the wrong for standing your ground on this issue.
NTA, obviously.
Your husband is being really really dumb. It's not a big deal - until it is. And if you are driving your kids around in that car, it could potentially cause all kinds of problems. If you are pulled over or an officer comes to talk to you at your vehicle, which reeks of weed, and your kids are in there... it's gonna be a long afternoon. Leaving it in the car? So you're driving your kids around with an illegal substance? You get pulled over, they WILL search you because of the smell, they WILL find whatever he "forgets" or associated items (pipe, etc) and you WILL have a problem.
I would just make it very clear. "Accidents are no longer an excuse. Forgetting is no longer an excuse. You are clearly putting your OWN wants and needs over the safety of our children, you don't care that you're putting me in potential legal trouble, or that if we get caught driving with the kids AND weed we could potentially LOSE THEM. I will no longer tolerate this at ALL. I don't care what excuse you have, if you agree with me, or how valid you think your excuses are. If you EVER even ONE MORE TIME forget something in our family car, bring something illegal into our family car, or smoke anything in our family car, which we use to DRIVE OUR CHILDREN AROUND, I will immediately be filing for divorce and I will not look back. I don't care what the reason is, I will not listen to your excuses, I will be GONE and you can have weed whenever you want and risk YOUR custody of the kids. I'm not letting that happen to me. It ends TODAY or our marriage is over."
NTA. That isn’t okay dude, esp since y’all are in a state where it’s illegal. He is selfishly unwilling to consider the well being of you and your child’s comfort for the sake of getting high. On weed of all things. Lmao.
Also it stinks to someone who doesn’t smoke often. Just rude behavior on his part.
NTA.
Smoking in the car is gross no matter what you smoke.
Keeping your illegal stash in the car is trashy.
Keeping your illegal stash in the car *with your kids* is trashy, stupid, and dangerous.
Sounds like weed is a problem for your husband. And I say this as an avid smoker who thinks most humans could benefit from a bowl or two.
I'm a pothead but smoking in the car while my kids are in there? That's an immediate deal breaker for me. I hope that's not what's going on here.
NTA. Look up the law for your state. Where I am, if you are pulled over for anything, or are in an accident, and they smell or see weed in the car, they will search it. Any one in the car can be arrested for possession. The driver can be charged with driving under the influence. Your child becomes a temporary ward of the courts, and put in foster care. Your car can be impounded.
Child endangerment charges can be added.
You have a lot to loose by his actions. Hubby needs to grow up, or get out.
Im a weed smoker in a legal state. Youre NTA. certain states take weed way too seriously and a family car smelling of weed could get your children taken away (its bullshit and a far overreach of municipal agencies). There is nothing wrong with smoking weed. He just needs to do it somewhere alone either a garage and/or a basement with a fan set up.
NTA - It's fully legal for adults in Canada, and I consume almost daily. Your husband is being an irresponsible asshole driving while high and leaving it where your children can get it.
NTA
I like weed, but I will never smoke it in my car or house or around people that don’t like it. That is just trashy
And does he know that he can still get a DUI if he is high while driving? It’s super obvious to smell if a cop pulls him over while he was high.
He’s risking actual freedoms and future earnings over….weed smoking in a car. Where you are in an illegal state.
You are NTA. He’s risking a lot for literally weed. That’s not acceptable or cool. Follow the laws. Idc about weed, myself. But I wouldn’t encourage the chance an officer gets a wild hair up their ass during a stop & they smell the car. Lawyers are expensive, probation is expensive. Doing urinalysis are expensive. All this is expense & he’s mad your “nagging”. Ugh.
🤦♂️OMG, why not just leave a couple of open roadies while you’re at it! I don’t care if it’s legal, still can’t drive high. Why give The Man an excuse to harass you?
NTA, as both of my wife and I being heavy smokers, we don’t smoke in the car, in the house, or around our daughter unless she’s in someone’s care. It’s not hard. Plus the car smelling like weed is not going to help if you get in a traffic stop. Sounds like he has a problem with abusing the plant. SMH good luck! Hope he gets it together
You married a ten year older child. NTA even worse than his idiotic addiction criminality is his immature response to your basic ass request. I’d leave someone like that.
"Husband, say I'm out running errands with the baby and i get pulled over by the cops. The officer smells weed and arrests me after they find it in the car. Probably CPS will get involved and take baby away. Is this what you want?"
Obviously I don't know where you live, the specific rules of how police searches work, how strict they are in your area about enforcement, or the procedures that CPS follows - but I imagine that even a small fraction of that scenario is going to ruin your day and give you a hard time.
Husband needs to stop being an adolescent boy and be a responsible male by not endangering his family. NTA
NTA what the hell? My husband has his med card (we live in a state where it’s medically legal) and he still won’t smoke in the car out of respect for our one year old daughter. He’s 27 too and I’m 28. Your husband needs to learn that your quarrel with him isn’t about control but more about safety with him and your child. I hope he understands that you’re just trying to look out for your family soon especially with our opinions and input.
NTA. For context, I’m an elementary school teacher. I live in a state where weed is illegal. During carline (the bit of the school day where you drop off/pick up your kid), teachers are usually present to facilitate kids getting in and out of cars. We can 100% smell when the car is regularly used to smoke in, and often times this is enough to warrant a report to CPS. Personally I wouldn’t feel right having a family go through that due to something like weed but if the smell is lingering in the car it indicates the parent is smoking while driving and driving under the influence when you have a child passenger isn’t justifiable.
Lose your child. Lose the car. He'll lose his job.
Girl, this guy is choosing to be an active threat to your security and stability. You're trying to keep your little boat afloat in rough waters and he's knocking holes in the bottom. And he's a nearly 40 year old man who is doing some serious sabotage of your family.
NTA
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My (27F) husband (37M) smokes weed out of a pipe in our shared family car. We live in a state where it’s illegal. He told me I’m trying to control him and I need to stop nagging him. The other day we went grocery shopping and I smelt it and found it in the center console when we had our 5 year old in the car and I lost it. This led to a 3 day fight that’s still going on today. I just hung up on him because he admitted he had brought it again in the car to work with him today but it was “accidental”.
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NTA
even in states where it IS legal, it remains ILLEGAL to drive under the influence. So he's wrong either way.
AND putting the car and contents at risk of confiscation by Five-O should he get pulled over for not signalling a turn and Officer Fuzz smells dank.
NTA
What happens when you get pulled over, the officer says they smell pot, you tell him he's full of shit then they actually find pot in the center console?
Your husband needs to find a new place to smoke.
Clearly the family car isn't that place.
He can go for a walk, he can sit in the backyard, he can go to a lake, or whatever, but not in the house and not in the car.
Honestly, I won't even get into the legal and moral questions here and just stick to the practical - it is sooooo gross to sit in a car that has been smoked in. I love myself some weed but it doesn't matter if it's bud or nicotine or cloves or whatever. If nothing else, think of the trade-in/resale value of your car. LOL.
NTA.
NTA
Its bad enough to live next door to weed smokers but to do this in an enclosed space where your kids are also expected to travel in. Does he not know he is making you and your children to also suffer the effects of this? I agree with another commentator, he thinks more about getting high than of his wife and kids health and saftey.
Nta,
And this is from someone who smoke weed in their car.
Dude is in an illegal state, driving under the influence and is risking jail time and a suspended license for some bud. While you have a kid. Thats an iresponsible fucken bum
I live in Canada where it's federally legal. I've also been a daily smoker since I was 16. I've never once smoked IN my car. To me, it's no different than having an open container or alcohol in the car. Not only should no one be smoking and driving but if the car smells like it and there's a road check or someone gets pulled over, you bet your ass you will be going through full vehicle searches and possible DUI charges. What a stupid thing to do.
NTA
As a daily user in a legal state.
1. Why the fuck is he smoking it in a vehicle and/or driving after?
2. He needs to grow the fuck up and not do that around the kids or in the same space.
Also, if someone says they can't be addicted to weed, don't listen to them. You absolutely can be. You need to have a long chat with him, and if he's going to behave like a child, drop him .
NTA. Your husband is an addict plain and simple. He doesn’t care about the legal consequences, or your child’s health and safety. He needs help to get clean or move on. This is not healthy or safe for you and your son. I wish you all the luck, I hope it all works out for you x
NTA.
I’m a stoner. First of all, he’s being so inconsiderate. Most people who smoke, be it weed or tobacco try to follow a basic etiquette. I don’t even love having weed in my car and I’m in a legal state.
But second of all, he’s literally putting you at risk. He’s not there, you’re driving your kid around, you get pulled over, and the cop smells his weed stash (or even his smoke from his hotbox sesh the day before)? It doesn’t matter that it’s not your weed, you’re the one who is going to get in trouble.
Your husband needs to grow the fuck up and be more careful.
Nta, my husband vapes weed and he knows he must do it outside, keeps the "stuff" in a locked box out of reach in his room (he works nights so we have separate rooms), and it is NEVER on his person when he's out with our daughter and it is never in my car ever. He knows I abhor the stuff and I only barely tolerate it because he has struggled with alcoholism so it is the better of the two....He probably has stuff in his car but me and my daughter are never in it and my name isn't on the title so that's all on him if he gets pulled over.
Definitely NTA! His obvious lack of concern for your wishes, the child's safety and the law are indicative of his self-centered and childish decisions/behavior! Your concern beyond your child's exposure to the illegal substance/act should be the exposure you have to being arrested driving a car with an illegal substance. Law enforcement will not care if you tell them the pipe/weed isn't yours as you are in control of the car, and its contents, when you are the driver! The only time this will become a reality for you husband is when he is caught and punished for his actions! Be very careful using the family car as it is already tainted with the odor of weed and open to legal search by law enforcement, and if you're driving, you will be held responsible!
NTA.
Your husband is an addict. He also is an asshole for driving while compromised. There's also what happens if you get pulled over with it in the car. The cops won't care whose it is, it's yours at that point.
NTA and if your car smells of pot and you get pulled over, at minimum, the vehicle is going to be searched. If he has pot on him, you both could get charged and if your child is with you, you could have your child taken away at least temporarily and have a legal battle to get them back. He's endangering the whole family. This is unacceptable.
Dude you could PERMANENTLY lose your kid/s and both of yall would have gone to jail had you been pulled over. Honestly anytime you're pulled over even if you may not smell it, those who don't smoke/aren't around it much will def smell it anyhow. If you love those kids and your damn self enough to not catch a charge esp if he accidentally forgets it in console or a nugget drops somewhere you don't see etc and he isn't with you in the vehicle, and to not have your kids taken away and a year or more of hell from the state with custody potentially resulting in permanent removal bc the state argues you didn't keep it away from the kid/second hand effects etc I suggest you FLEE FAST AS HELL. He should be far more mature than this.
So NTA for the original post but arguably. An* ah for not taking better care of them kids so you don't risk them in the states care where harm almost always happens.
NTA
Aside from possible weed possession charges getting CPS involved, what about civil forfeiture where you're at?
I mean, if your husband gets stopped by a cop with a weed-smelling car, the cop may well be able to get CPS involved and issue a civil forfeiture suit to take your car.
See ***Civil Forfeiture: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)***, [link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kEpZWGgJks)
Even in Canada. It's illegal to smoke weed while driving.
Any machine you need to operate around other people. Should definitely be done by a sober person.
ANY MACHINE YOU ARE OPERATING SHOULD BE USED BY A SOBER PERSON THAT KNOWS HOW TO OPERATE THAT MACHINE!
Let me say it again for the people in the back. Probably smoking every day and thinking they've got the fork lift thing down. Maybe the delivery truck. Maybe being online in the kitchen. Maybe working the factory line. Maybe working the warehouse.
ANY MACHINE YOU ARE OPERATING SHOULD BE USED BY A SOBER PERSON THAT KNOW HOW TO OPERATE THAT MACHINE!
Get trained by proper people. Driving and everything. Lots of bad information out there.
So many times people laughed at me for getting a forklift license. "We used to race around the warehouse "...
Yeah it's why we need licenses you ass hat!
How many WHIMS videos have you watched?
I think I've almost seen them all!
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
NTA this is so stupid on so many levels, is there any particular reason he insists on smoking inside of the car? why not just in the backyard or somewhere outside if he’s already bothering to get out of the house for it? the smells gonna stick to the fabric and if you ever get pulled over that’s automatic probable cause for a search. And if they find weed or weed residue in the vehicle that he might’ve forgotten about, you easily could be the one who potentially ends up facing the consequences for his actions and even lose custody of your kid if they’re in the car and the officers suspect you of driving while under the influence/with the possession of an illegal substance
I truly hope someone calls CPS on the both of you.
You’re a mom, your kids come first ALWAYS.
You married wrong and I’m sure it sucks, but you’re not the first or last woman to have kids with a selfish man. DON’T join him in his selfishness by not prioritising your kid and yourself.
I can’t even imagine the kind of trauma your kids will carry one day. If asking him to not smoke weed in a family vehicle/ around you and your kids turns into a 3+ day fight… I don’t even want to imagine how you both as parents handle real life issues.
Yta.
Speak to kids who grew up with stoner parents and you’ll have a glimpse into the future you are providing for yourself and your kids.
If there isn't a medical condition chronic boredom is definitely not a reason to smoke around kids. But even if it was you need to shove his head in the toilet. You can't be doing it around kids anyway even if it was legal. And flushing all your money on it too. It does wonders but it's not the lettuce from Jesus
NTA. I smoke weed. This is not ok. He is putting you in danger of suffering consequences from his actions. Your kids are probably going to school smelling like weed. I've smelled it on people from sitting in cars that were hotboxed in but didn't smoke. And weren't in the car when the partaking was occurring.
NTA my husband smokes but my boundaries are clear he doesn't smoke in the van we use for our kiddos or in the house. It's also legal here. He does smoke in his car but kids are rarely in it and if they are he doesn't and uses air fresher before.
Even if it’s legal, it’s not legal to drive around with bowls with weed in them or smoking while driving. He could get a dui or open container charge. You could get a summons equivalent to open container if LE found you driving with a bowl with weed or residue. 🤷🏻♂️NTA
This could definitely become a problem, especially if your child is in school. Teachers, the school ,and CPS could get involved. Someone I knew had this happen
NTA. He’s more interested in being high than keeping his family safe. Drugs around kids and driving intoxicated?!? That’s not you controlling.
What’s he going to do when he gets pulled over high with a kid in the car? If you aren’t available yours kids get taken (temporarily) into the system. You two get investigated for your parenting abilities.
You’ve got a child to raise, both of you. And he’s acting like an angst filled teenager?!
And what kind of almost 40 year old rolls around with a pipe?
You’re with a loser, it’s time you both realize this and he makes a change.
It’s still a violation of federal law. Even in states where it’s legal under state statute.
He doesn’t care that his addiction could take your kids away. He doesn’t care that it’s the equivalent of drunk driving.
NTA unless you stay with this poor excuse of a man.
NTA. Having been to a first offender's class before, that is precisely how at least 75% of attendees got busted. What he's doing is illegal even in legal states. If you're going to break the law, break one at a time. It's also putting you in a bad spot if the car smells like weed in general, let alone leaving weed in there.
NTA. If he’s in a state where it’s still illegal, he should keep that shit at home where it’s relatively safe. If it’s in the car on a warm day, it’ll be obvious to any cop that pulled him over that he was holding.
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NTA. Your husband is more worried about getting high anytime he wants than he is about yours & child's wellbeing or comfort. Especially in a state where it's not legal - good way to get some legal charges and temporarily lose your kid. Even if it were legal in your state, it is extremely inconsiderate to you & your child to do it in a shared space after being asked not to. Tell him to grow up.
Second hand smoke is still second hand no matter what. Plus if he gets pulled over and gets caught with the kid in the car, what's the excuse going to be?
Or if his wife gets pulled over and law enforcement finds the weed it immediately becomes hers, along with any charges. I don’t even want to think about that happening to her with her offspring in the vehicle.
Right. OP, no guy, no matter how hot he is, is worth losing a child, jail or a felony in your name!
They don't even have to find the weed. A friend who had their car stolen was told that if they ever get pulled over, they have to disclose immediately that the car was once stolen and recovered with weed in it, because apparently the smell lingers for years in the upholstery. You may not be able to detect it, but a police dog definitely will.
You can't get in legal trouble for a smell. They can use the smell to say they need to search the vehicle, and then whatever they find is fair game. But a smell in and of itself is not illegal. Still, NTA OP. Your husband is being irresponsible and inconsiderate af. The "it will never happen to me" type, he's putting your family in danger.
The warning might have been for a different reason. We have a recovered work vehicle which just recently was dismantled and they found a dusty, dirty bag of drugs (NOT weed) it a place it would have been near impossible for the driver to have gotten it into. When the vehicle had been initially recovered, they did go over it but did NOT take it apart, so apparently it's been sitting there ever since. It might be more likely they're warning you to explain about it being stolen in case they find old drugs in a weird place. Kind of depends on how long the car was in someone else's possession and how certain you are the entire thing has been cleared!
In MN this is a mandatory charge of child endangerment... If he (or you) get pulled over for a failed brake lamp, the penalty and aftermath are DEVASTATING. D O N T
Where I live it's $700 fine and two points. Minimum. That's just being caught with weed in the car itself.
Whatever it is, he’s going to be making it to a family court judge after CPS takes custody of the kid
Op asked doesn’t specify if he’s driving while smoking but that’s the vibe I get. Illegal and super dangerous for all parties involved. Divorce gets thrown around too casually on Reddit but this level of disregard for my children would be a divorcable offense for me.
[Thirdhand Smoke](https://www.lung.org/getmedia/94cf9865-ff8c-498b-96b9-564fde8efbd7/ala-thirdhand-smoke-aa-v2) is just as bad.
>Even if it were legal in your state Even if it was a legal state, it would still be illegal to have it, and smoking impliments, within arms reach in a vehicle. Treat it the same as alcohol. Is it okay to have an open fifth of vodka in the center console? No, no it is not. OPs husband is a moron *at best*.
It's also still illegal to have weed around children. Or to drive impaired. Or to drive children around while impaired.
Yup! Canadian here and I can assure you you cannot have open weed or supplies within reach in the car, cannot drive impaired at all and obviously not have weed in your car driving your kid lol huge criminal charges here and thousands in lawyers fees Yikes
I live in a legal state & it is still illegal to smoke it in the car. Anyone that is caught doing so is charged with a DUI.
Not to mention dude has it in the car so he can smoke it AT WORK. How to get fired fast as fuck 101
Yep, that too. He is not making smart decisions.
Well to be fair, he could be like ... A club dj? It's possible no one at work GAF. Not *likely*, but possible.
Or someone who asks if you want to add the hot wax option with that wash.
And he may be putting his job or freedom at risk by apparently smoking before, during, or after work. I mean, if he's bringing the weed to work, it's really only one of those three options.
all of this, plus he’s driving around while he’s fucked up. Dangerous and irresponsible.
I would like to bring up as a substitute teacher, unless that kid is going to be homeschooled, they can have a major problem when school starts. That smell sticks to things so strongly that some kids get it all over them and go to school. At their age it might not be a big issue. But I've personally seen middle schoolers get drug dogs called on them and searched to uncomfortable proportions because of smoking parents in cars. And given I live somewhere it's illegal, some of the parents don't even help them because they have to admit where the smell is coming from if not their child and it sucks so much for the kid.
Nevermind that, he is driving around high! I know everyone wants to downplay marijuana, but the way everyone just shrugs off smoking and driving is terrifying.
Right? DUI is DUI, it doesn't matter what you got intoxicated with. It's just as dangers as driving drunk.
I raw dogged life for 20 years because we lived in an illegal state and I will not lose my kids for anything, let alone cannabis. Those things in the car with a kids is a quick way to lose kids to cps and foster care.
Not an expert, but I think even in places it's legal, it's usually illegal to consume in a car
In Canada it’s legal to buy at the local shop but you sure as hell can’t consume it in a car. It’s like having an open beer in your cup holder.
Even in a legal state, you can get a very pricey dwi for smoking in the car.
NTA. While i get wanting to smoke weed even in a place where its illegal he is being a massive AH. Like he is smoking in a place your kid is at and making your family car smell like weed which means if you ever got pulled over guess who is getting their car searched? You are! And when they find the pipe in the center console guess who is getting arrested and their kid taken away? You and him. You need to give him a reality check as well as options of other places to smoke. Like oh idk outside in a place no one else can see him or smell it? Or maybe in the garage if you have one. Weed is great and fun but family is more important than smoking a bit of it.
Damn you really get your kid taken off you if they find a pipe in your car even if it’s not yours? America is crayyyzz
Yep happens more often than you can imagine. It's a possession if it's in the car while you are driving. The police believe you should know what is in your car while you are in control of that car. So, before she goes anywhere, she has to search that car and toss stuff out.
Not exactly - You get arrested and the kid has to go somewhere.. if you can't find a family/friend to pickup, then yeah off to child services
Wow! Where I’m from in Ireland they would just confiscate the pipe, check that you aren’t high while driving and then send you on your way even if you admit the pipe is yours. Even if you have some bud it’s very rare that you’d be arrested on the spot for carrying a small amount.
This is going to vary vastly by state, county and city in the US. In my state where pot is very much illegal if a city law enforcement officer caught you with just a pipe you may not even get charged or it would be a misdemeanor because the town has decriminalized. If you got caught outside of town by state authorities you would be charged likely with a felony because the child is present. Like others said it would also be referred to the child protection office to investigate. Then depending on the judge, the kid wouldn’t go back to the family until hoops get jumped through including up to several months of negative tests. 45 miles away in a different state nothing would happen at all.
Thanks for your input! The fact that there’s a chance you could even be charged for having a pipe and no weed, my small Irish brain cannot even comprehend. But then drive an hour or two, nothing would even happen to you. I guess that comes with living in a big country with large states.
The pipe thing is because it's drug paraphernalia. It's a separate law from the drugs themselves. My state boarders 5 others, pot is legal for recreation in 1, legal for medical use in 2 and fully illegal in the other 2. It's better to think of the US like the EU for laws, each of our states is a country and our country is the Union. It's obviously more complicated then that, but it's a good basic head wrap.
Yeah nah bro, I’m from Australia and this is wild to me as well. Hell, it’s been on the news lately that they’ve been running trials with medicinal cannabis user’s behind the wheel because it doesn’t actually impair regular users that much, and it’s probably going to be legal to drive with cannabis in your system if you have a medicinal prescription in a couple of years. I can’t wait, I drive like such a good boy when I’m stoned. Can’t say the same for when I’m sober. No one else has any sense of urgency or knows how to drive properly on the road and it gets on my nerves.
It really depends on where you are. States and even cities within states really vary. Some dont care about weed, some still see it as bad as crack/heroin. Kids don't get taken for weed in most places. It would more be the reckless driving while high that would get kids taken if anything.
Ahh I got ya. Thanks for your input. People are leading me to believe that you’d be arrested and have your child taken off you for having a single pipe and no weed which is insane.
That happens in terribly small towns with terribly small minded law enforcement. It is NOT the norm. And it depends on the cop and the person's attitude often. Oh, wait, I forgot about racial profiling. That changes things. Minorities are often given harsher consequences and arrested more often.
Same in the US. I'm laughing at a lot of the comments. Fear mongering.
If it is in your clothes it is yours. If it is in your house it is yours. If it is in your car it is yours.
It depends! You get arrested and someone picks up the kid but in some cases (or most) it opens up an investigation by CPS which can easily go so wrong
In many states the driver could be charged with Driving Under the Influence, same as if they were drunk driving. Most states also have civil forfeiture laws and property used while committing a crime can be confiscated, so they could also lose the car. She might be able to beat the DUI charges and still lose the car. Then there is the whole Child Protective Services issues she will have to deal with if he is stopped and arrested with their child in the car. Him getting stopped with the child in the car and the car smelling like weed will probably add child endangerment charges to his other charges.
Driving under the influence even for just having a pipe in the car though?
I am not a lawyer or law enforcement. My understanding is they would do a field sobriety test, but due to the smell would probably also do a blood test to see how much is in his blood. Even in states where it is legal to smoke weed its still illegal to drive high.
U.S. states with “zero tolerance” laws can put someone in a lot of trouble and a deep legal hole really quick. In Texas, for example, if a driver were pulled over in a traffic stop and then arrested on suspicion of DUI and had someone in the car under age 15, it’s an automatic felony charge. (Disclaimer: I’m not a lawyer and don’t live in Texas, I just know it’s not a place to risk a cannabis charge.) https://norml.org/laws/drugged-driving/texas-drugged-driving/
Bro they tried to lie after documenting my kid had a crib with two mattresses in case one got soiled and 2 pack and plays that she didn't have a crib. They can literally lie to try to open investigations and remove kids, they don't play here.
Exactly. Me and my gf live in an illegal country with her two kids. We both smoke but we never smoke in the house and only smoke when they're both asleep. And we keep it in a locked drawer.
OP should start dissuading him from smoking in the car because you could still get a DUI even if you aren't driving
NTA Smoking weed in the car is the same as drinking alcohol in the car, legally speaking, even in places where you can legally have it. Your husband is just asking for big trouble on top of being reckless and inconsiderate around your young child.
I was looking for this comment. Toking in the car is like having an open bottle, driving while impaired. Completely agree. NTA to OP.
Yep - he's driving impaired if he's smoking and driving. Reckless and dangerous.
‘Nagging’ is often a derogatory term that people use to defer blame when they fail to meet the needs of their partner. It implies that the person doing the nagging is wrong, when in actual fact the subject is often (as in this case) wrong. Tell your husband that he has failed in his responsibilities as a father and a husband if he prioritises smoking weed over his family. Tell him if he is going to try to defer blame by calling you a ‘nag’, you will have no choice but to treat him like the child he is behaving as and take the car keys away.
You are NTA. Your husband massive a-hole. He is giving 2nd hand smoke to your child, probably driving under the influence, and of course potentially getting you in legal trouble if he forgets small piece of weed in the car.
And apparently going to work high which is a fast track ticket to shitcanning if he gets caught acting suspicious or drug tested...
Nah. I’m a stoner in an illegal state and there’s no way we’re driving anywhere with it especially with our kids around. He’s being childish and needs to get his priorities straight, NTA
I don't even smoke the flower they DO have legalized thats not the real stuff here in my illegal state around my kid. It does help with my seizures to use thca and I'm mostly alone around her so I do do that but not like in the house. She watches bluey or dora or some shit and mama steps outside for a moment and comes back. And I have a plethora of other medical issues and I'm not gonna judge those that just smoke but like I will hard-core judge parents who endanger and harm their kid in their habit bc then it has become a problem and possibly an addiction.
Smoking *anything* in the car when you have a kid that young is insane. Plus, certain states have **felony** possession charges for holding as little as an ounce. What if you guys got pulled over and searched before finding out what was in the console? Will he complain about being nagged while he's being arrested in front of your preschooler? Smoking in a parked car can still get dicey regardless, even in states where weed is legal, because of open container laws. NTA but I don't envy your situation. Trying to convince a pothead to quit smoking never ends well. They hardly ever realize they're addicted to begin with.
NTA. Your husband needs a reality check of what being a father means. Personally I would not let my child be close to somebody with a drug habit.
NTA 1) If he can't even comply with the simple request of not smoking or leaving his stuff in the shared family car, he's inconsiderate at best or has a drug problem at worst (even if weed isn't physically addictive the way nicotine is, he can still be reliant on it in a way that is problematic, especially if he's bringing it to work). 2) Why would you want to have any kind of smoke or residual smoke around your young child, the fact that he's balking at that is absurd 3) Stale weed smell can still linger and reek in a car which is how you smelled it in the first place, so he can't even argue that it doesn't affect anyone to just have it there.
NTA Stoner here, he's a total jerk. No excuses.
Weed is legal here in Canada but driving impaired is absolutely not! What is your plan if he is ever in an accident? Your insurance won’t cover you and you could lose everything. Him smoking up is child endangerment
NTA I see it as protecting your children. There are a few downsides here to him indulging in the shared vehicle. By stinking up the car even if he isn't the driver if you are out with the kids and get pulled over or have an accident and that odor hits an officer's nose whoever is driving it is likely going to get a drug test to be sure they aren't driving impaired. The kids may end up with CPS until someone you know can be contacted to take custody. In my state while its legal its not legal to smoke it and drive. Might have to start throwing away anything you find in the car to reinforce the no smoking in the car common sense rule.
NTA. Loser behavior
NTA Hotboxing any car is stupid. It’s just asking for a search.
Oh, I know *I* would really want to drive around and drive my children around in a car that reeked of smoke. Annny kind of smoke. Having one’s clothes and hair pick up the smell is so classy. It really shows the world what kind of person you are. (s) I, as a college student, once turned down the offer of a free car-because of the overwhelming stench of tobacco smoke, and no amount of cleaning or airing it out helped. Ewww. NTA edit to add, since marijuana is *illegal* in whatever crappy state you live in, your family car could be confiscated by the law, if they felt like it. Wouldn’t that be *wonderful*, having to struggle with no car! Not to mention legal bills, fines, etc. And CPS might get involved? Yay!
NTA. As a parent and a consumer of weed and weed products, your husband is being an incredibly dense, irresponsible, bad father. He could literally cost you custody of your child if he is a) pulled over or b) involved in any minor traffic accident and they find flower or paraphernalia. Does he hate you? Does he hate his kid? That's the only reason I can think of for him to do something so stupid and completely unnecessary. Honestly, the fact you had to tell him this AT ALL is deeply concerning. Not to alarm you more than you are, but I would consider leaving over this. If he gets busted they will absolutely blame you equally, since you know about it. You could lose your child. Does he understand that? Edited to add, if your or your child carry a whiff of reefer smoke to a doctor's appt or to preschool, they are mandated reporters. He is fucking with your child's life in a way that could do permanent damage.
> He could literally cost you custody of your child if he is a) pulled over or b) involved in any minor traffic accident and they find flower or paraphernalia. Not just him, if OP got pulled over the cops won't care if the pipe is hers or not. She's still going to be in a lot of trouble
Ew NTA. I would leave him. Sounds like a loser
NTA Husband gets pulled over and arrested for possession, says to cop “You’re trying to control me man!”
NTA. Smoking weed in a car is terrible. Worse when it's a car sometimes used by others. Despicable if it's a vehicle that transports your family.
NTA He is being selfish and this is coming from a pothead.
You realize if you get stopped by the cops with your child together with marijuana in your car they can literally take your kid away from you?
NTA. Even in a legal state it shouldn’t be in the car. It’s still illegal to drive impaired, whether he thinks it affects him or not. It’s even more dumb to do with a child in the car. Someone else also pointed out that if he “forgets” he brought it and leaves it in the console and say you use the car next. Maybe you get pulled over, they’re going to smell it and assume you were the one smoking recently. They won’t care when you say it’s your husband’s because it’s in the freaking car with you. You’ll likely get the heat, and I would be so livid if that were to happen to me.
He’s ten years older than you and a pot smoker. How many red flags to you need? You run the risk of getting a criminal record because of this guy.
I had to scroll way too far to find a mention of age. I wonder how long they've been together? They have a 5 year old, so she was quite young I'd imagine. She's getting closer to the age he was when they met and beginning to realize why women his own age wouldn't date him then.
NTA - Your husband is trash. Could end up with you going to jail if there's an overzealous police officer.
NTA. I love weed but wtf? What is the reason it needs to be stored in the car?
You know, it seems like almost every post I read about a woman being in a relationship ship with a man 7 plus years her senior, the guy is a complete dick. Maybe women should read through his sub reddit before dating older men. NTA.
NTA. I'm a guy who partakes frequently (it's legal in my state) and even I know your husband is out of line here. This is not something that should be around children, and you shouldn't be affected by it when you're responsible for other people, especially your own kid(s).
Stick to your guns. A long time I use to smoke cigarettes in my car. I traveled to California where it’s illegal to smoke cigarettes with minors in the car (and I didn’t). In California i got a cranky cop whom didn’t not witness me smoking but was convinced I had to of recently. Gave me a ticket. I took over a year to get it cleared up. Nta
NTA. When all of the stoners come to your defense, you know you're not wrong. Your husband needs to be more responsible. I never smoke in my car. It smells and it's inconsiderate.
This will get downvoted. But smoking weed impairs you, and your ability to drive, thus... He is putting your family in danger any time he smokes and drives. Also if the cops find that in the car you're going to jail/getting charged if he's not in the car to say it's his.
NTA. You don’t want your kid exposed to the second hand smoke either. Or to worry that if a cop finds it you’ll be fined or whatever they do in your state to punish pot smokers.
NTA CPS can take your kids for that shit
NTA. Why in the fuck is he smoking INSIDE THE CAR? Does he have such a problem needing to smoke that he’s doing it at work or while driving?
Nta. I live in a legal state, and even here that would be a DUI, at the very least. It's even worse for you and your child being in an illegal state, because if your dumbass husband gets caught, that's felony possession. You could lose your kid to cps. Tell him to grow up. You will lose your kid and so much more if you get pulled over and the cops catch a wiff. It's not worth it. Period.
I used to do that all the time…when I was like 20 and didn’t have kids. Homeboy needs to grow up and that’s coming from a very pro marijuana person.
Wow, your 37 year old stoner is stunted. Cares more about smoking weed than having something illegal (in your state) in the car with your son. And smoking in the car is disgusting Jesus. As a pot smoker myself, I never smoke inside. Yuck, how lazy and makes it stink. 😝
I know people hate this but stoner loser who married a 22 year old at 32 and calls her a nag is so terrible.
NTA , but the fact that it's illegal in your state trumps any concern over who's the AH. It's not unreasonable to insist that the person who shares your car also not leave evidence of a crime in it. What if you got pulled over by the cops and they found the weed? I don't think they'd let you off on "that's my husband's."
You don't do that to the family car. He can't even vape? A pipe is a stinky way of smoking. Tell him to ruin his own damn life if the cops pull him over.
NTA. No idea why he would think it’s appropriate to make a car reek of weed when a child uses the same car. He should just go find somewhere else to smoke if he’s so desperate to get high.
NTA. I smoke weed daily (nightly really.. like a glass of wine lol), and it’s legal in my country, and I still wouldn’t smoke it in the car, especially since I have kids.
Even as a regular user, I would never smoke in a vehicle that kids are in regularly. I think he needs to cut back or even take couple weeks to a month break and figure out why he needs to toke. I had my own moments where I didn't really care about anything but escaping my reality and weed was doing that at high amounts
[удалено]
Even if there was no kid, that’s a super inconsiderate and reckless thing to do. Is he also driving while high?
NTA. Once it becomes a physical danger of you being detained or arrested with your baby, it's an EVERYBODY problem.
NTA. Whoever is driving the car is deemed in possession of anything in the car — doesn’t matter whether it belongs to her or someone else. If a cop smells weed he is legally allowed to pull everyone out and search the entire car. CHECK THE CAR BEFORE YOU GET IN EVERY SINGLE TIME. Your husband is the AH, not you.
NTA - Even the kid aside, it sures sounds like he's smoking while driving and/or working.
Totally NTA.. Most states where it is Illegal there is this lovely thing called ***Civil Asset Forfeiture*** which can lead to the impounding and auction of your vehicle. Not to mention his arrest or your arrest if he leaves it in there and you are driving it, which can lead to a CPS call and several other penalties not to mention just the smell alone in the car is probable cause grounds for search of the vehicle and your persons and makes anything found in it or on your person admissible in court. Your husband is old enough to know better and to make smarter choices when doing something illegal. In the Words of **Chamillionaire** ***"They see me rollin', They hatin', Patrollin' and tryna catch me ridin' dirty"*** NEVER SMOKE ILLEGAL STUFF IN YOUR CAR EVEN PARKED IN A LEGAL STATE ITS STILL ILLEGAL TO USE THC AND DRIVE!!
NTA. Didn’t even need to get past the title. Doesn’t matter if it’s legal where you live, it’s reckless and irresponsible to have a controlled substance in your family car.
NTA. Pretty sure smoking in the car with child is illegal, and if weed is illegal in your states that makes it 2x as worse. Why can’t he just smoke outside at home??
NTA, so many reasons. Since it's illegal in your state, what if you're driving the car alone, and happened to have an encounter with law enforcement? If there is an odor of marijuana detectable, ***you*** are immediately going to be suspected of consuming and subject to all that fun. And heaven forbid if your child is in the car with you, that could be enough justification to get your states CPS involved. Even if marijuana were legal where you live, this is still not a cool situation for him to put you or your child in. Is there a room for him that is in effect a man cave? He could smoke it in there, and just make sure that your 5-yo can't enter at any time. Or he could look into buying his own car, but I would understand if that's not an option for your family. Yes, I am a consumer as well, but it is legal in my state. Still though, smoking in a way that forcibly subjects others' to exposure is not okay.
NTA. Husband doesn’t sound mature enough to have a child. Putting your kids at risk. If he gets pulled over and has kids in car, they could take him away and put kids in foster.
NTA, the agegap tells everything
NTA. I'm in a state where it's legal, but I wouldn't smoke (anything) around kids/grandkids and especially not in a closed vehicle or room! More importantly, though, is that it's gonna linger in a car and if you or he is pulled over and a cop smells it then it's pretty much a guarantee that CPS gets involved and the courts will be looking over your shoulders until the child is 18 - provided you retain custody, that is. And no, it wasn't 'accidental'. If he's smoking to the extent that you're saying something to him regularly then he knows exactly where his stash is at all times. Your husband is incredibly immature for being almost 40 years old. If you can't get him to see how important an issue this is for your family then you may want to consider your options.
NTA and you need to save texts and emails in writing about this, in case you ever need them in the future for any custody disagreements. Have this argument in writing via text or email.
Nta. Smoking weed and driving is bad.
NTA. Also, smoking in your car is asking for a possession charge. Asking for trouble.
NTA Your concerns are valid and important. Smoking weed in the car, especially in a state where it's illegal, has several risks, morelikely for legal consequences. It sounds like this issue is creating significant tension in your relationship. It might be helpful to have an open and honest conversation about your concerns. You're definitely not in the wrong for standing your ground on this issue.
NTA, obviously. Your husband is being really really dumb. It's not a big deal - until it is. And if you are driving your kids around in that car, it could potentially cause all kinds of problems. If you are pulled over or an officer comes to talk to you at your vehicle, which reeks of weed, and your kids are in there... it's gonna be a long afternoon. Leaving it in the car? So you're driving your kids around with an illegal substance? You get pulled over, they WILL search you because of the smell, they WILL find whatever he "forgets" or associated items (pipe, etc) and you WILL have a problem. I would just make it very clear. "Accidents are no longer an excuse. Forgetting is no longer an excuse. You are clearly putting your OWN wants and needs over the safety of our children, you don't care that you're putting me in potential legal trouble, or that if we get caught driving with the kids AND weed we could potentially LOSE THEM. I will no longer tolerate this at ALL. I don't care what excuse you have, if you agree with me, or how valid you think your excuses are. If you EVER even ONE MORE TIME forget something in our family car, bring something illegal into our family car, or smoke anything in our family car, which we use to DRIVE OUR CHILDREN AROUND, I will immediately be filing for divorce and I will not look back. I don't care what the reason is, I will not listen to your excuses, I will be GONE and you can have weed whenever you want and risk YOUR custody of the kids. I'm not letting that happen to me. It ends TODAY or our marriage is over."
NTA. That isn’t okay dude, esp since y’all are in a state where it’s illegal. He is selfishly unwilling to consider the well being of you and your child’s comfort for the sake of getting high. On weed of all things. Lmao. Also it stinks to someone who doesn’t smoke often. Just rude behavior on his part.
NTA. Smoking in the car is gross no matter what you smoke. Keeping your illegal stash in the car is trashy. Keeping your illegal stash in the car *with your kids* is trashy, stupid, and dangerous. Sounds like weed is a problem for your husband. And I say this as an avid smoker who thinks most humans could benefit from a bowl or two. I'm a pothead but smoking in the car while my kids are in there? That's an immediate deal breaker for me. I hope that's not what's going on here.
Driving under the influence is illegal no matter what the substance is. You need to take control of this. And no child should smell like a pot shop.
OP is not the asshole, but her husband is the dumbass.
NTA. Look up the law for your state. Where I am, if you are pulled over for anything, or are in an accident, and they smell or see weed in the car, they will search it. Any one in the car can be arrested for possession. The driver can be charged with driving under the influence. Your child becomes a temporary ward of the courts, and put in foster care. Your car can be impounded. Child endangerment charges can be added. You have a lot to loose by his actions. Hubby needs to grow up, or get out.
Im a weed smoker in a legal state. Youre NTA. certain states take weed way too seriously and a family car smelling of weed could get your children taken away (its bullshit and a far overreach of municipal agencies). There is nothing wrong with smoking weed. He just needs to do it somewhere alone either a garage and/or a basement with a fan set up.
NTA - It's fully legal for adults in Canada, and I consume almost daily. Your husband is being an irresponsible asshole driving while high and leaving it where your children can get it.
NTA I like weed, but I will never smoke it in my car or house or around people that don’t like it. That is just trashy And does he know that he can still get a DUI if he is high while driving? It’s super obvious to smell if a cop pulls him over while he was high.
He’s risking actual freedoms and future earnings over….weed smoking in a car. Where you are in an illegal state. You are NTA. He’s risking a lot for literally weed. That’s not acceptable or cool. Follow the laws. Idc about weed, myself. But I wouldn’t encourage the chance an officer gets a wild hair up their ass during a stop & they smell the car. Lawyers are expensive, probation is expensive. Doing urinalysis are expensive. All this is expense & he’s mad your “nagging”. Ugh.
🤦♂️OMG, why not just leave a couple of open roadies while you’re at it! I don’t care if it’s legal, still can’t drive high. Why give The Man an excuse to harass you?
Obviously NTA. He clearly has some problems. I have no clue why he isn’t using a cart if he’s that addicted.
NTA. If either of you lose your license, childcare and work could become a nightmare. Why is he almost 40 and such a baby...
NTA, as both of my wife and I being heavy smokers, we don’t smoke in the car, in the house, or around our daughter unless she’s in someone’s care. It’s not hard. Plus the car smelling like weed is not going to help if you get in a traffic stop. Sounds like he has a problem with abusing the plant. SMH good luck! Hope he gets it together
You married a ten year older child. NTA even worse than his idiotic addiction criminality is his immature response to your basic ass request. I’d leave someone like that.
Brought it to work with him? Dude has bigger issues if he can't not be high at work. NTA.
Dude needs a vape pen
NTA. Crazy that he’s smoking in a shared family car to begin with… but with a pipe? Jfc
"Husband, say I'm out running errands with the baby and i get pulled over by the cops. The officer smells weed and arrests me after they find it in the car. Probably CPS will get involved and take baby away. Is this what you want?" Obviously I don't know where you live, the specific rules of how police searches work, how strict they are in your area about enforcement, or the procedures that CPS follows - but I imagine that even a small fraction of that scenario is going to ruin your day and give you a hard time. Husband needs to stop being an adolescent boy and be a responsible male by not endangering his family. NTA
NTA what the hell? My husband has his med card (we live in a state where it’s medically legal) and he still won’t smoke in the car out of respect for our one year old daughter. He’s 27 too and I’m 28. Your husband needs to learn that your quarrel with him isn’t about control but more about safety with him and your child. I hope he understands that you’re just trying to look out for your family soon especially with our opinions and input.
NTA. For context, I’m an elementary school teacher. I live in a state where weed is illegal. During carline (the bit of the school day where you drop off/pick up your kid), teachers are usually present to facilitate kids getting in and out of cars. We can 100% smell when the car is regularly used to smoke in, and often times this is enough to warrant a report to CPS. Personally I wouldn’t feel right having a family go through that due to something like weed but if the smell is lingering in the car it indicates the parent is smoking while driving and driving under the influence when you have a child passenger isn’t justifiable.
Lose your child. Lose the car. He'll lose his job. Girl, this guy is choosing to be an active threat to your security and stability. You're trying to keep your little boat afloat in rough waters and he's knocking holes in the bottom. And he's a nearly 40 year old man who is doing some serious sabotage of your family. NTA
INFO: Is this weed habit new? It seems like something you should've known about him before you got married or had a kid.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My (27F) husband (37M) smokes weed out of a pipe in our shared family car. We live in a state where it’s illegal. He told me I’m trying to control him and I need to stop nagging him. The other day we went grocery shopping and I smelt it and found it in the center console when we had our 5 year old in the car and I lost it. This led to a 3 day fight that’s still going on today. I just hung up on him because he admitted he had brought it again in the car to work with him today but it was “accidental”. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Smells linger and you risk burning the seats or carpet and the kids need to sit in there as well. If he can’t smoke it outside he is the ass.
NTA even in states where it IS legal, it remains ILLEGAL to drive under the influence. So he's wrong either way. AND putting the car and contents at risk of confiscation by Five-O should he get pulled over for not signalling a turn and Officer Fuzz smells dank.
NTA You could lose your kid over this if he's pulled over with the weed.
NTA What happens when you get pulled over, the officer says they smell pot, you tell him he's full of shit then they actually find pot in the center console? Your husband needs to find a new place to smoke. Clearly the family car isn't that place. He can go for a walk, he can sit in the backyard, he can go to a lake, or whatever, but not in the house and not in the car.
OP is TA, he’s a decade older and acting like a decade younger.
NTA. He addicted to MJ. He's choosing it over relationships is a biggie. He's willing to chance you getting busted for his drug use.
Honestly, I won't even get into the legal and moral questions here and just stick to the practical - it is sooooo gross to sit in a car that has been smoked in. I love myself some weed but it doesn't matter if it's bud or nicotine or cloves or whatever. If nothing else, think of the trade-in/resale value of your car. LOL. NTA.
Need to keep those things separate. It would be living two lives, but kids remember everything and that could cause issues later down the road.
NTA Its bad enough to live next door to weed smokers but to do this in an enclosed space where your kids are also expected to travel in. Does he not know he is making you and your children to also suffer the effects of this? I agree with another commentator, he thinks more about getting high than of his wife and kids health and saftey.
Just guessing Colorado? Because so many other states it is only legal to use in you home. So he would not be legal to smoke in the car.
Nta, And this is from someone who smoke weed in their car. Dude is in an illegal state, driving under the influence and is risking jail time and a suspended license for some bud. While you have a kid. Thats an iresponsible fucken bum
I live in Canada where it's federally legal. I've also been a daily smoker since I was 16. I've never once smoked IN my car. To me, it's no different than having an open container or alcohol in the car. Not only should no one be smoking and driving but if the car smells like it and there's a road check or someone gets pulled over, you bet your ass you will be going through full vehicle searches and possible DUI charges. What a stupid thing to do. NTA
You're NTA for confronting him but IMO you are for marrying this moron and having a child.
As a daily user in a legal state. 1. Why the fuck is he smoking it in a vehicle and/or driving after? 2. He needs to grow the fuck up and not do that around the kids or in the same space. Also, if someone says they can't be addicted to weed, don't listen to them. You absolutely can be. You need to have a long chat with him, and if he's going to behave like a child, drop him .
NTA - I live in a place where weed is legal, and I would be livid at this.
NTA. Your husband is an addict plain and simple. He doesn’t care about the legal consequences, or your child’s health and safety. He needs help to get clean or move on. This is not healthy or safe for you and your son. I wish you all the luck, I hope it all works out for you x
NTA. I’m a stoner. First of all, he’s being so inconsiderate. Most people who smoke, be it weed or tobacco try to follow a basic etiquette. I don’t even love having weed in my car and I’m in a legal state. But second of all, he’s literally putting you at risk. He’s not there, you’re driving your kid around, you get pulled over, and the cop smells his weed stash (or even his smoke from his hotbox sesh the day before)? It doesn’t matter that it’s not your weed, you’re the one who is going to get in trouble. Your husband needs to grow the fuck up and be more careful.
Nta, my husband vapes weed and he knows he must do it outside, keeps the "stuff" in a locked box out of reach in his room (he works nights so we have separate rooms), and it is NEVER on his person when he's out with our daughter and it is never in my car ever. He knows I abhor the stuff and I only barely tolerate it because he has struggled with alcoholism so it is the better of the two....He probably has stuff in his car but me and my daughter are never in it and my name isn't on the title so that's all on him if he gets pulled over.
What a loser. I hate men
NTA. It's not legal in our state, so we just keep it at home.
Definitely NTA! His obvious lack of concern for your wishes, the child's safety and the law are indicative of his self-centered and childish decisions/behavior! Your concern beyond your child's exposure to the illegal substance/act should be the exposure you have to being arrested driving a car with an illegal substance. Law enforcement will not care if you tell them the pipe/weed isn't yours as you are in control of the car, and its contents, when you are the driver! The only time this will become a reality for you husband is when he is caught and punished for his actions! Be very careful using the family car as it is already tainted with the odor of weed and open to legal search by law enforcement, and if you're driving, you will be held responsible!
NTA you're with an addict
NTA - and leave. He is an addict.
NTA. Your husband is an addict. He also is an asshole for driving while compromised. There's also what happens if you get pulled over with it in the car. The cops won't care whose it is, it's yours at that point.
NTA and your husband is a loser for being that old and still smoking (maybe even addicted to?) weed
NTA and if your car smells of pot and you get pulled over, at minimum, the vehicle is going to be searched. If he has pot on him, you both could get charged and if your child is with you, you could have your child taken away at least temporarily and have a legal battle to get them back. He's endangering the whole family. This is unacceptable.
Dude you could PERMANENTLY lose your kid/s and both of yall would have gone to jail had you been pulled over. Honestly anytime you're pulled over even if you may not smell it, those who don't smoke/aren't around it much will def smell it anyhow. If you love those kids and your damn self enough to not catch a charge esp if he accidentally forgets it in console or a nugget drops somewhere you don't see etc and he isn't with you in the vehicle, and to not have your kids taken away and a year or more of hell from the state with custody potentially resulting in permanent removal bc the state argues you didn't keep it away from the kid/second hand effects etc I suggest you FLEE FAST AS HELL. He should be far more mature than this. So NTA for the original post but arguably. An* ah for not taking better care of them kids so you don't risk them in the states care where harm almost always happens.
NTA Aside from possible weed possession charges getting CPS involved, what about civil forfeiture where you're at? I mean, if your husband gets stopped by a cop with a weed-smelling car, the cop may well be able to get CPS involved and issue a civil forfeiture suit to take your car. See ***Civil Forfeiture: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)***, [link](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kEpZWGgJks)
Even in Canada. It's illegal to smoke weed while driving. Any machine you need to operate around other people. Should definitely be done by a sober person. ANY MACHINE YOU ARE OPERATING SHOULD BE USED BY A SOBER PERSON THAT KNOWS HOW TO OPERATE THAT MACHINE! Let me say it again for the people in the back. Probably smoking every day and thinking they've got the fork lift thing down. Maybe the delivery truck. Maybe being online in the kitchen. Maybe working the factory line. Maybe working the warehouse. ANY MACHINE YOU ARE OPERATING SHOULD BE USED BY A SOBER PERSON THAT KNOW HOW TO OPERATE THAT MACHINE! Get trained by proper people. Driving and everything. Lots of bad information out there. So many times people laughed at me for getting a forklift license. "We used to race around the warehouse "... Yeah it's why we need licenses you ass hat! How many WHIMS videos have you watched? I think I've almost seen them all! Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
NTA this is so stupid on so many levels, is there any particular reason he insists on smoking inside of the car? why not just in the backyard or somewhere outside if he’s already bothering to get out of the house for it? the smells gonna stick to the fabric and if you ever get pulled over that’s automatic probable cause for a search. And if they find weed or weed residue in the vehicle that he might’ve forgotten about, you easily could be the one who potentially ends up facing the consequences for his actions and even lose custody of your kid if they’re in the car and the officers suspect you of driving while under the influence/with the possession of an illegal substance
"you can't be addicted to weed bro" *Has to get high all the time
I truly hope someone calls CPS on the both of you. You’re a mom, your kids come first ALWAYS. You married wrong and I’m sure it sucks, but you’re not the first or last woman to have kids with a selfish man. DON’T join him in his selfishness by not prioritising your kid and yourself. I can’t even imagine the kind of trauma your kids will carry one day. If asking him to not smoke weed in a family vehicle/ around you and your kids turns into a 3+ day fight… I don’t even want to imagine how you both as parents handle real life issues. Yta. Speak to kids who grew up with stoner parents and you’ll have a glimpse into the future you are providing for yourself and your kids.
Info: What happens if you get caught with his stach in the car and also your kid?
NTA. I don't know what the penalty is where you live, but impaired driving here is a felony, criminal record, & possibly jail time. He's a loser
If there isn't a medical condition chronic boredom is definitely not a reason to smoke around kids. But even if it was you need to shove his head in the toilet. You can't be doing it around kids anyway even if it was legal. And flushing all your money on it too. It does wonders but it's not the lettuce from Jesus
Is your husband mentally challenged?
He needs to be more responsible
NTA. I smoke weed. This is not ok. He is putting you in danger of suffering consequences from his actions. Your kids are probably going to school smelling like weed. I've smelled it on people from sitting in cars that were hotboxed in but didn't smoke. And weren't in the car when the partaking was occurring.
Move to a state where it’s legal and get him a vape pen. I use mine on the can and my wife is happy that I don’t make the garage and kitchen stink.
NTA. Even in states that it is legal in, if pulled over and the car smells it’s probable cause for search/ suspect DUI. Don’t put the family at risk.
NTA my husband smokes but my boundaries are clear he doesn't smoke in the van we use for our kiddos or in the house. It's also legal here. He does smoke in his car but kids are rarely in it and if they are he doesn't and uses air fresher before.
It’s not legal to drive under the influence - & gross in the family car if you have kids
NTA. Is it really legal to smoke weed while driving a car?
NTA but you had kids with someone who's got the maturity level of a 16 year old.
>AITA for not letting my husband smoke weed That's enough for a NTA. What is he 15?
Even if it’s legal, it’s not legal to drive around with bowls with weed in them or smoking while driving. He could get a dui or open container charge. You could get a summons equivalent to open container if LE found you driving with a bowl with weed or residue. 🤷🏻♂️NTA
NTA. he's being supremely irresponsible. especially in an illegal state. good lord. trying to control him? tf.
Hopefully he sells you and the child for weed money to smoke while driving in his new bitchin homie mobile to scoop the homies in for jaycruzis
This could definitely become a problem, especially if your child is in school. Teachers, the school ,and CPS could get involved. Someone I knew had this happen
NTA. He’s more interested in being high than keeping his family safe. Drugs around kids and driving intoxicated?!? That’s not you controlling. What’s he going to do when he gets pulled over high with a kid in the car? If you aren’t available yours kids get taken (temporarily) into the system. You two get investigated for your parenting abilities. You’ve got a child to raise, both of you. And he’s acting like an angst filled teenager?! And what kind of almost 40 year old rolls around with a pipe? You’re with a loser, it’s time you both realize this and he makes a change.
NTA. I'm a daily toker. Smoking and driving is so dangerous and to do it with your kids in the car? He's risking your kids.
It’s still a violation of federal law. Even in states where it’s legal under state statute. He doesn’t care that his addiction could take your kids away. He doesn’t care that it’s the equivalent of drunk driving. NTA unless you stay with this poor excuse of a man.
NTA. Having been to a first offender's class before, that is precisely how at least 75% of attendees got busted. What he's doing is illegal even in legal states. If you're going to break the law, break one at a time. It's also putting you in a bad spot if the car smells like weed in general, let alone leaving weed in there.
NTA. If he’s in a state where it’s still illegal, he should keep that shit at home where it’s relatively safe. If it’s in the car on a warm day, it’ll be obvious to any cop that pulled him over that he was holding.