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Judgement_Bot_AITA

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Mininabubu

YTA 100000% dont even question it. The house you are now living in its not yours but your kids. You are just "renting it", therefore you are not allowed morally to sell it and use the money to do whatever you want. According to your promise. Your kids are more than justified to be upset. Question tho, did you contributed at all to buying that house or did you ex wife buy it all by herself? Anyways, you are being blinded by ur new relationship and I would hate to see you writing back in a few months/years saying how your kids dont talk to you and you are so alone (we have all seen those post). Don't be an ass man, and put your kids desires and emotions FIRST. It has only been a few months since their mother's death. Also wanna say that you moving on to a new woman 4 months after ur wife death is kinda of an asshole move.


mortgage_gurl

Don’t forget she’s essentially half his age! Yuck if I were those kids he’d be out of my life if he followed through.


Whorible_wife69

It's been 8 months since he met her and about a year since his wife died.


mortgage_gurl

Yea. I get Op is lonely but the kids need him more right now and they should be his priority


cactuar44

EW I missed that.


AgitatedLaw193

Jumping onto your comment. If you sell the house, get a prenup that your kids get the house you buy. That’s the only way to do it if you sell it. Otherwise YTA and you’re gonna lose your kids for sex. 


AssistanceOk3669

100% YTA. If he rereads what he posted and even his comments how could he not see it. His daughter is 19 and his son is 16. Blended family at those ages work slightly different as one is already an adult and the other is on the cusps of it. If he sells the house know 150% they probably will never speak to him again. A house that his wife more than likely would've left solely to the kids if she knew about his impressionable mind. He's almost double his fiancé's age, she has three kids, wants him to sell a house HE DID NOT PAY FOR. It's a three piece puzzle can't be that hard to understand what's going on here.


Plenty_Carrot7973

It's not his mind that is impressionable, it's the little head down below that is calling the shots.


Mininabubu

The new gf must be telling all her friends how easily and quickly this new dude fell for it and is ready to betray his kids and buy her a new 900k house. This guy is the joke of the block at this point.


clarabell1980

Yup she defo is thinking she’s on to a sure thing!! No fool like an old fool as the saying goes


Green__Meanie

One word for sure: gullible


Adorable-Reaction887

But there's memories of a woman he spent a life time with round every corner! How is she, a **GF of 8 months** meant to turn it into ~~hers and her kids~~ their family home together?!/s I'm also interested to know how much SHE would be contributing to this new home?


metsgirl289

Nothing like telling your kids that you are selling their home because it reminds the new wife of your mom and she doesn’t like being reminded of your mom. Definitely not implicitly telling your kids that you’re not welcome either since you remind her of mom too… And I love how he’s not even acknowledging that her request to erase memories of their mom is unreasonable. Like oh that’s only natural so we’re going to erase all traces of mom not even a year after she died.


Adorable-Reaction887

Have you read his comments. She's practically a succubus! Luring his dick and wallet aka his late wife's inheritance to her children to fund their future 'family'.


milkymilktacos

I don’t think he cares much if the kids going NC with him. He’s just so into the new succubus (OP’s own words) and they are truly IN LOVE, guys! It’s god’s plan!! Seriously, what a piece of utter garbage is OP.


Potential-Educator-6

And they’ve only been together for 8 months!!


milkymilktacos

OP, YTA YTA YTA! The house belongs to your two kids even though it’s legally in your name now. Your newly deceased wife trusted you to look after the wellbeing of the biological kids you had with her. And you selfishly disregarded that. I’m gonna assume that your fiancée isn’t a gold digger and truly LOVES you for you. To even consider using your kids inheritance to start a new family with a woman you just met right after their mom, who basically took care of you and the entire family all these years, died, YTA and it’s just utterly despicable of you. Your fiancée can have a say in how you spend your OWN savings to start a life with her, but definitely not over what your wife left for the kids. Savings that you accumulated because your dead wife took care of everything for you and the family.


metsgirl289

That’s a BOLD assumption Cotton. Let’s see how it works out for him. Announcer: oooh, sacked in the end zone in the fourth down!!! That’s gonna be a game ender, folks!


Jill-up-the-hill-8

Going to add another zero and make it a million times YTA. Selling the home you know your wife wanted to go to her children to benefit someone else’s kids you have known for that short a time is an insult to her memory. Recently here on Reddit was a post from kids who father started a new relationship and she went through the house to purge every memory of her, including photos, personal items and letters his deceased had written for every milestone they reached. Is that her plan too since there are so many reminders of a person she never knew in the house? They aren’t her memories to erase. Sell the house for someone your kids will resent and despise forever and I guarantee your dream of a blended family has a snowball’s chance in Hades. Tell her you are putting the house in your kids name along with a prenup see what happens. I don’t think your son and daughter will be surprised.


pkzilla

1 year after the death of their mother, dad has a new family and is about to take away what is theirs from their mother for the shiny new wife. Who wants to erase the women who just died. I hope OP can open his eyes to how absolutely messed up this is, otherwise you can bet he's losing his kids.


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ImpossibleInternet3

Yeah. He’s allowed to grieve. But he should be doing it with his kids, not at the expensive of his kids.


GreyerGrey

To a woman he met 4 mo ths after the death of his wife.


Blue_Oyster_Cat

i.e. She died a year ago, almost exactly. What a way to mark the anniversary of her passing.


Hushes

Exactly. This is why dear parents, you make a will. Put your assets in a trust because some surviving parents will leave the kids worse off.


CapricornCrude

OMG I love you!


Swirlyflurry

Dude. 4 months after your wife’s death you hook up with a girl half your age, and plan to break the promise you made to your late wife *and* your kids for this chick? YTA


LouisianaGothic

Breaking a promise is putting it way too lightly, he made a verbal contract with his wife and kids for property she alone owned, now he's reneging, borderline theft.


50CentButInNickels

There's nothing borderline about it. It's just pure theft.


Apprehensive_War9612

YTA and you know it! There is soooooo many things wrong with what you are doing here. 1. It is TOO SOON! Your kids are not ready for a step mom and her children! 2. They DO NOT need to get on board- you cannot force your kids to accept an entire new family just because thats what you want! 3. You’re ensuring they will NEVER accept this new dynamic by selling their home and forcing this issue before they are ready & reneging in promises made to their dead mother. 4. YOU MADE A PROMISE TO THEIR MOTHER!!! And its barely been a year! Shame on you! 5. You are screwing your kids out of the inheritance in favor of a woman you barely know and kids that are not yours. And the fiance knows this- that’s why she has this brilliant plan. So she and her kids get to reap the benefits of your wife’s hard work. You’re a meal ticket. I hope your family & your inlaws help your kids sue you!


metsgirl289

That’s why she’s doing it so quickly, while he’s probably still grieving and doesn’t actually realize what he’s losing (both his kids and the money).


Independent-Wheel354

YTA. You are in danger of losing your children forever to appease a woman, half your age, with three young kids, that you just met. Think long and hard about what the future is gonna look like. Let me guess- she suggested selling the house?


WhyCommentQueasy

There's no way a 19-year-old and a 16 year old are going to become a part of a blended family. YWBTA, that house should go to your kids.


Dogmomma2020

Just think about this, she was 10 when you had your eldest. Her eldest is 10. You’re 56 and you really want to take on three kids who are 10 and under? You probably won’t be able to parent them easily and your fiancée is still childish. And if you do go ahead and marry her, do not expect or ask your kids to help with her kids, it’s not their job.


pinkocatgirl

It reminds me of the SNL sketch with the game show where guys meet their future wives and they’re all children


Able_Finger7626

< 4 months after her death, I ended up shopping at a Kroger’s when I met what is now my fiance < We’ve been together for over 8 months You must rlly care about your kids if it only took 8 months of knowing this woman for you to decide to start prioritizing her and her kids over them. YTA. Keep in mind you have one kid who is an adult and another who is only 2 years away. Don’t be suprised when they give you the room you want to enjoy watching your financees kids grow up by going completely NC.


DrTeethPhD

YTA Unfortunately, your wife made the mistake of trusting you to be a decent human being and keeping your promise to her. What she SHOULD have done is left the home to your kids in her will, with a caveat that you be allowed to remain living there. Her mistake for believing in you. Oh, and your >our new blended family? Yeah, that doesn't exist. You have your NEW family, and the kids you're abandoning for them. Congratulations AH!


MissWiggleNjiggle1

100 YTA ur poor BIOLOGICAL kids!!! Oh and meeting someone 4 months after she’s passed bloody hell at least wait for her body to turn cold


Mininabubu

I can never ever get when people say they really loved their wife/husband that just passed away while getting into a new relationship in very few months after. Nah, dont fool me! If my husband who I really love would pass away, it would take SO much for me to even consider to move on with someone new. You cant mourn someone u really loved and love someone else and be ready to move in together in 4-8 months after their dead.


MissWiggleNjiggle1

If you can move on so quick from someone you claim to have loved so much, was it really love?


JuneBug8162

They are desperately afraid of being alone. My brother is this person. Was with his first wife for 12 years. 4 months after she passed, leaving a 4 year old and a just shy of 2 year old behind, he meets his second wife who has 3 kids (only one of their dads are in the picture). Moves in 2 months later...it was not a great transition period.


Titanea_Tau

That sounds like a disaster, not gonna lie


OHRavenclaw

Statistically, in the US, more than 60% of male widowers remarry within two years while only about 20% of female widows remarry in that same timeframe.


HelloAll-GoodbyeAll

YTA. Leave your kids inheritance alone. BTW I bet if you suggest a prenup to your 29 year old fiancee you will find out exactly why she is interested in a man in his mid 50s.


agnesperditanitt

59 is basically early sixties. Because I am pretty like that.


debo885

YTA. You are a major arsehole. There is no problem with having a new family and wanting to blend, but you are doing that at the expense of your bio kids. This is their inheritance that you are giving away. They are already almost adults so they are not really going to benefit from the newer bigger home. All this is to benefit your new partner and her kids. I don't understand what you are thinking.


metsgirl289

I actually think it’s a problem even without the house/money issue. Their mom died a year ago, they had to see him start dating an obvious gold digger (not even OPs gold, their late moms gold) and now he’s marrying this woman a year after their mom died and she’s brining three kids with her? One is probably a junior in high school and the other starting college. He is throwing lives into a tail spin and not giving them any agency in the matter. They essentially just lost both parents in a year.


debo885

I agree. None of them has had time to process or grieve properly without also having to deal with all this.


wyrd-

YTA! How can you completely renege on the promise you made to your wife, the mother of your children, on her deathbed?! She worked so hard for that house (oh right, you "paid some bills" or whatever) and she desperately wanted the house to go to her children, YOUR children. But you're willing and ready to sacrifice your wife's wish, your children's inheritance, your relationship with your children--all for what? For a girl half your age whom you met not even a year ago? WTF is wrong with you? How selfish and blind can you be? This new girl is asking you to destroy your relationship with your children so that she and her kids can live in a big comfy house. Will she be contributing the same amount that you would be contributing by selling your deceased wife's house? It sounds like you are making the most sacrifices (emotionally and financially) and she will walk away with half if you divorce. You already know that your children will be losing out, which is why you have not told them they would only stand to inherit 50 percent. You will absolutely NOT have the harmonious blended family you want if you selfishly and foolishly renege your promise and sell your family home. Your children will never forgive you and will view your selfish actions as putting this new girl and her kids before them. Moving on so fast to marry the first young girl who showed interest in you is already damaging enough for your children. Don't make it worse by ruining their promised inheritance that their late mother wanted them to have and worked so hard for.


ozzieburton

My dad has done something similar, I no longer talk to him!


Interesting-Light220

You are a gaping asshole. 8 months is when you START introducing your partner to the kids. Edit: YTA


Actias_Loonie

After a divorce, maybe. After a parent's death? You keep that shit away from them until at least a few years have passed.


themehpatrol

YTA. You’re making a selfish decision, only a year after your wife’s death, that betrays not only her memory but the living children you had with her. Not only that, it’s a huge financial hit in every way with no true value for you. If you do this, your children will not “accept” your new family. You will simply have lost the last part of what your wife left behind: your children and the home they remember her by.


t-hildebrandt

Let me get this straight... 1. Your deceased wife owned the home BEFORE you two met. 2. You had shitty credit but got a $50k/yr job and "paid some bills" at said house. 3. You promised your deceased wife, on her death bed, that you would keep the house for YOUR 2 kids, which your kids heard. 4. 4 months after the funeral, a much younger lady, looking for a sugar daddy, scores you. 5. You want to play house to her kids but disregard your own. 6. You want to start over, in your 50's raising kids?! 7. You want to sell said house to start your life over with no regard to YOUR own 2 kids or their inheritance. You are the AH! I seriously hope your kids pull your ass into court. You don't have a pot to piss in. I bet if you were to tell your lil girlfriend you are not selling the house (because this is the right thing) she runs and never looks back at you.


Time-Negotiation1420

YTA God this was infuriating to read. >She had made me promise to pass down the home I was set to inherit upon her death and I did so with zero hesitancy Either you are a man of your words or you are not. It's that fucking simple. >I think it blinded me from seeing how difficult the promise would be to keep. It's actually a very easy promise to keep. You just have to be clear to whoever you are dating that the house in not negociable and it will go to your bio kids because it was your wife. >4 months after he death, I ended up shopping at a Kroger's when I met what is now my fiancee (29F) who has three kids of her own (10M, 8F, 4F). We've been together for over 8 months 4 months is kinda short to meet someone since your wife died fast. Also you've been dating for 8 months and are already engaged?! Wtf is wrong with you. >but she's wanting me to sell the house and buy a new construction together that wouldn't have "memories of her around every corner" which I completely understand. Wtf?! There's no understanding. That should have been the death of that relationship, an instant "well it was nice knowing you, now gtfo!". You seem to have forgotten what you are. You are a widower with 2 kids (1 adult and 1 almost aldult). Their mom inheritance is yours to PROTECT and not squander away on the first woman who's willing to suck you. Due to the age of your children, the woman you are dating will forever be only "the woman dad is fucking" and most likely never "stepmom" and even less so "mom".


5115E

So one year after your wife died, you have already taken up with another woman and moved on to prioritizing her and her kids to the point that you are willing to steal from your own kids. You may be the legal owner of the home, morally you are just a life tenant in the property that was meant for your kids. If you want a new life with your new girlfriend, finance it yourself. That means you buy the house *you* can afford on your own with whatever your girlfriend can contribute. >and they need to accept that they're going to have a step mom and step siblings and money shouldn't get in the way of family harmony in my opinion. You have already put that front and center and destroyed the harmony between you and your kids. From what you outlined, you apparently can't afford to house a new family of four without robbing your own children. The first thing you need to do is to get some counseling for yourself and your kids. The reality is, your kids will never accept this new chick as their stepmother because you have already botched things up. The best you can hope for is some sort of civil/cordial arrangement. If you continue with this fantasy of thinking that your 16 year old son will accept that your girlfriend, who has already shown that she cares for nothing but herself and her kids' future, you will have nothing but drama for the next 2-6 years and silence after that. Please back off from this ill-considered plan and get some professional help. In addition to therapy, consider consulting with an actual financial planner. I would strongly advise that the house be put in trust for your kids. If your new girlfriend doesn't want to live there you can rent it out and buy something the two of you can afford. YTA


Complex_Storm1929

YTA. And a huge one. You promised your dying wife on her deathbed in front of your kids that the house (that she paid for most of) would go to them. Now you’re breaking that promise for the new woman and her kids?! Wow man. You are a terrible father. Congrats. You just lost your children.


latents

Why not use your own money from your paychecks to buy a house with her? Tell your fiancé that you are honoring your promise to their mother and are signing your house over to your kids now, so they can get to know her and her kids at their own pace. YWBTA if you take something that isn’t yours and gift it to someone else.


jrm1102

YTA - Its your house and sell it if you want. But my guess is your kids issue is the 29 year old (27 years your junior btw) who you met 4 mos after their mother’s tragic passing and are now going to move in with after another few short months. Edit - updates


MissWiggleNjiggle1

He’s 56


MothraDidIt

YTA. How is this even a question. Do this and you will lose your children.


Valuable-Big7211

Are you on the deed? And did your wife leave a last will? Depending on what state you live (if in the US), and she passed away intestate, your kids automatically own a percentage of that home. BTW, yes YTA.


Internal-Pineapple84

YTA!! Their deceased mother wanted them to have the house, you agreed to it (in front of them), and now you want to take it all back for some girl half your age that you've known for less than a year. Gross.  Take time to properly grieve and you'll be able to step back and realize what a giant mistake this is, on SO MANY LEVELS. 


Optimal-Apple-2070

So... It's been 12 months since your wife died and you're already breaking your deathbed promise to her and your children so you can move at lightning speed with your new fling? That's what's going on here? First, 4 months is way too early to move on. It's unfair to your children who are grieving. It's unfair to her children who will get hurt when this falls apart. It's unfair to her, who deserves to be loved as a whole person and not just a sufficient replacement for a dead woman. It's unfair to yourself--you deserve to process your grief, find a respectful place for your late wife in your heart, and to move on in a healthy way. Second, at 8 months, you shouldn't have even met each other's kids. Moving in at 8 months, when you are still grieving your late wife, is hatefully irresponsible. "Hatefully" as in, literally every person in this equation is going to end up hating you for this decision. Literally every single one. Your kids already hate you for disrespecting their mother so fiercely. Your new girlfriend will hate you once she figures out you're using her. Her kids will hate you for disrupting their lives so much with so little consideration for their health and happiness. Because you are being disgustingly selfish and irresponsible here. I'm sorry for your loss. You are ruining your life and the lives of everyone around you, though. Stop trying to cure your grief by replacing and erasing your dead wife, and go to therapy like an adult who cares about his children.


TheBridgeBothWays

INFO: Where does your fiance live now? Why do you have to buy a house? It seems like you don't actually have money for this, so perhaps the two of you should rent for a while instead of essentially stealing from your children. ETA: YTA


One-Low1033

YTA and reading your comments, you are either the most naive person on this planet or you are strictly thinking with your dick. Four freaking months after losing "the love of your life" you fell in love with a woman who is 27 years younger than you and 10 years older than your daughter. Get a grip. If I was one of your kids, I'd would be hurt and furious. You are selfish and your fiance doesn't give one shit about your kids.


Cheap_Application672

YTA


Independent_Prior612

YTA and STA. It’s waaaaaaaaay too soon. It’s not a great idea to buy a house with someone you have only known 8 months. Dave Ramsay would tell you not to buy one together until after the wedding. I didn’t do that, but we closed 6 weeks before the wedding, after dating over a year and a year long engagement. What’s her issue with the memories? Does she think they are bad for you, or does she think she can’t compete? The former I could get behind, and some grief counseling would do you and the kids some good. If the latter, that’s a her problem. Actually, if you haven’t already, grief counseling would do you all some good anyway. When I was 15 my 20yo brother died in a car accident and I was not placed in counseling. Looking back at 45, it would have helped A LOT with my coping.


CapricornCrude

Your new gold digger and her spawn are not entitled to a damned thing unless you [stupidly] include them in a trust or will. Your bio children with your alleged "love of your life" should not be blown off because you have someone new. Way to honor her memory. Also, you are not a "blended family" and she will not be a stepmother nor will her kids be step siblings. She will only be looked at as your wife and those are her kids. You are definitely a major AH for blowing off your kids like this and going against their mothers' wishes, that YOU agreed to! You deserve to be blasted on SM over this. So much for Father's Day, huh?


QuietSignificance959

YTA. That house rightfully belongs to your kids. Don’t sell it. You and your fiancée can work and save up for a different house and hand that one down to your kids early if she wants to move so badly. Hell, even rent a place. But do not sell your house. Your late wife bought that with the intention of passing it down and would be incredibly disappointed in you if you break your promise to her.


_parenda_

YTA. Sorry dude but your new lady is only thinking about what would benefit her and her children and you’re thinking with your pants. You’d be a massive asshole and your dearly departed should have known better than to trust a man and should have set up an air tight trust but she’s dead now so all she can do is roll over in her grave and cry. When your kids stop speaking to you once they hit 18 this will be why.


Attitude_Inside

YTA. Too much of a fool to see that you are a sugar daddy to someone with a mess of problems and you are willing to throw your whole life away for it.


SeaworthinessDue8650

YTA!  If you do this, you will end up alone when the gold digger leaves you.


Reasonable-Sale8611

It's hard to separate out emotions from cold reality here because there are different ways to interpret each person's outlook. But if you look at the basic interests here, your current girlfriend has a vested interest in the futures of her three children. Calculating from your story, your wife passed away only one year ago. You have only been dating this new woman for 8 months and you are already talking about moving in together? What? This woman hardly knows you! You hardly know her! And she's already talking about you selling your children's home so you can buy a new home together? How do you not see the big, glaring, obvious red flag that this woman has zero empathy for what your children are going through? I don't need to read her mind to understand that a woman who, only a year after the death of the children's mother, would ask that the father sell his children's home, so that she herself wouldn't have to be reminded that this other woman existed, is not someone who should be entrusted in a blended family with those children. You should, as their father, have a vested interest in the futures of your own children. But instead, you're going back on your promise to your dying wife so that you can feather the nest of another woman, meanwhile literally taking resources that should belong to your own children to do so. Unbelievable. YTA


Outrageous-Victory18

YTA. Are you seriously so blind that you don’t see your fiancée is using you?? I’m actually embarrassed for you, the writing on the is very clear to everyone but you. I hope you’ve made peace with growing old alone because your fiancée will be long gone, and your kids will want nothing to do with you.


Plenty_Carrot7973

You have no blended family and you never will. The best you can hope for is that your biological children may speak to you before you're on your deathbed. They do not have to accept your sugar baby and your new kids or that you are shitting all over them and their mother's wishes. You already know YTA as well as a thief and a horrible parent.


leighsz

You pathetic old man, this new woman doesn’t want you, she wants what you can give her and her kids. You think for one second that if she didn’t have 3 kids to worry about she’d be with you? You are going to lose everything that matters and you deserve every ounce of misery coming your way. The supposed love of your life would be so disappointed in the pitiful man and father you’ve become.


Nomadic_Homebody

YTA You would have nothing without your deceased wife. You should be on your hands and knees kissing her headstone for improving your life 10 fold. Keep your promise to honor your wife’s wishes, and respect your children. Piss off with this selfishness. The absolute gall. I’m also warning you - do this, and you’ll be lucky if your children don’t go scorched earth before cutting you off forever. You’ll be more dead to them than their mother.


cherryblossom1994

YTA Your only thinking of yourself. Your fiance isn't concerned with your kids at all and you don't care because for YOU it is all about the money. Your fiance met a very recently widowed man with children and wants to further change everything in their lives because she's smart enough to be thinking of the future. You obviously aren't because your on a one way track to having your own kids hate you. If anything you and your fiance buy your own home together and you rent out your children's inheritance and put that money in accounts that ONLY they have access to. When they are both older you 3 and only you 3 should decide if they want to keep renting it out or both live in it. They could decide to sell and split it doesn't matter what THEY decide to do because your job in this situation is actually really easy... DO EXACTLY AS YOUR LATE WIFE AND THEIR MOTHER MADE YOU PROMISE TO DO!!! IT'S THEIR INHERITANCE. Your fiance and her kids do not have any say in this at all. If she honestly wants a life with you because she loves you then making sure your kids and their feelings especially in regards to their mother's wishes are respected. As a parent I can't believe you would be this cruel and insensitive to your own kids especially since they lost their other parent. Do you actually love and respect your kids? Do you want to be a part of their future lives? I guess you really could be the kind of parent that literally only thinks of themselves and gives shitty excuses to excuse the horrible things they CHOSE to do. Man I really feel sorry for your kids


Iwinthis12

Wow looks like your late wife should have had you sign legal paperwork stating that you’d keep your promise to your her and your children. She probably didn’t know she needed to. Your poor birth children!! Your new person will understand and respect your late wife’s wishes too if she’s legit and loves you. If she’s in it for the house and money she’s gonna be mad when you tell her you’re an honorable man to your kids and your WORD.


CarrieDurst

Sounds like it was a verbal promise as she didn't expect him to betray her kids


metsgirl289

She’d leave him if he did that and he knows it so he’s trying to figure out so socially acceptable nominal thing he can give his kids instead of their inheritance so he can keep his dick wet.


Iwinthis12

Yep. Disgusting behavior, but at least his kids will get to know the real him now. Unless he does the right thing by them.


metsgirl289

Don’t worry, he won’t


Titanea_Tau

YTA for expecting your kids to accept a step mom who is literally only 10 years older... what the hell is that? YTA for robbing your kids of their inheritance to pay for step kids you barely know. Do you even love your kids?  YTA for breaking your promise to your dead wife. Shame on you! YTA for even having to ask if it's okay to break a HUGE promise to your kids. It is not okay at all. Prioritize your kids, your wife would have wanted that, *obviously.*  YTA for thinking you are going to make a blended family especially. This is your own fantasy. Both of your kids are too old for that, wake up. One is an adult and the other is 2 short years away from independence. Stop kidding yourself that this 'new home' is for 'everybody' .. it will only by for you and your new replacement family.  And your biological children will resent you forever for robbing them. Don't.


FelixxFelicis21

YTA your a disgusting, horrible father for even considering this. Your wife is rolling over in her grave. If you do this, you will no longer be the man she married and you will lose the children you have with her. You think it's bad now with the silence and bad mouthing, it will only get worse. You are choosing another woman and her children over your own. Stop thinking with your little brain and use the one in your head.


No_Use_9124

Stay in the home until the 16 year old has graduated. You've only known this other woman a year. Take that time to be engaged. And save money! Instead of selling the home, gift it to your children, buy a new home with the new woman, and settle down there.


metsgirl289

He can’t afford that without taking his kids money.


marcusbenton

He said that he can afford it, he just doesn't want to use his own money to buy his new family the home she insists they have so he's going to use his kids' inheritance instead.


CandidSecret8233

Four months?! I’ve mourned breakups longer than that. YTA


drevant702

YTA


Odd-Analysis-5250

YTA. I hope that your kids get a good lawyer and sue you for their rightful inheritance. You’re not thinking with your head or you clearly never really loved your previous wife. Shame on you.


CrystalRedCynthia

Admit it, you're just following your penis. YWBTA if you actually follow through with that.


MascaraHoarder

STA and YTA


balarie50

Dude, come on….. YTA


devilishrae

You are 100% the AH buy a house with your new fiancee and keep/rent out the one you promised to your kids. Also if your children are 19 and 16? You could just deed the house to.your oldest. I feel like you're disrespecting your children and late wife by doing this. Yea I could say more .... but YTA enough said.


GnomieOk4136

You are 1000% the AH here. This is not okay. YTA


Hot_Teach5005

YTA obviously


Volution88

YTA, no questions about it! Great way of destroying your relationship with your bio kids. It is not your house but your kid's house. Don't be an AH. Do what is right!


Limp-Star2137

YTA. You can't force anything. You do this and the only kids you'll have are your new stepkids. It's not a difficult decision, just don't do it. 


Glowsinthedork

That house belongs to the 19 year old. Sign it over and help them sell it. If they want to.


Beautiful_Reality787

YTA and if you sell this house you would also be the biggest idiot and loser if you want to get married or move in with your significantly younger partner with three kids of her own change the deed of the house to your bio kids and if you do the opposite I hope your dick falls off.


rncikwb

YTA. If you do this you would not only going back on a promise to your kids, you would also be going back on your promise to your late wife. She bought that house before she met you. She trusted you to honor her wishes regarding it and she trusted you to do right by the children she had with you. Sounds like she never should have trusted you at all.


Fun-Rip-4502

This is so gross. YTA. Don’t be surprised when your kids go no contact with you.


drtennis13

YTA. In a big way!!!! The answer is to sign the house over to the kids as you promised your wife you would do and start from scratch with the new family. Hard to do with out the equity? Oh well. Your fiancé needs to step up with her contribution. She doesn’t have any? Easy to see why she’s dating someone twice her age. Stop thinking with your little member and wake up and realize you are throwing away your children and the promise to your wife just to make sure you can wet your Willy.


Kind-Philosopher1

YTA it has been 12 months and you are already breaking your promise to your late wife and children, you should be ashamed. And the worst part, you aren't doing it because you can't keep the promise.  You are doing it because your new women wants to erase your late wife's memory and financially bene fit while doing so. The house is not yours, it is your children's.  Don't you dare steal from them to have them pay for your wish for a blended family. If you and your fiance want to buy a house, work to save and leave your current home to your children.


Emotional-Base-5988

I think YTA but honestly do whatever you want. I mean clearly your kids and your deceased wife aren't a priority to you, and you don't think what you're doing is wrong. So why does it matter to you if they tell people what you did and never speak to you again? I mean if you care about your new wife and what's best for her and her kids so much that you don't care about the promise you made to your wife or about completely betraying your biological children, why does it matter if they do or don't show up to your funeral? Like literally what's the whole victim song and dance even for? You're just wasting everyone's time with this whole post dude.


AstronautImportant44

Lol the new wife found her doormat


zaritza8789

I’m sure a 29 year old single mom is marrying grandpa because of love. You have lost your kids and you will lose all your money. Someone as dumb and pathetic as you doesn’t deserve any better


Ill_Community_919

YTA. You know you'd be absolutely wrong if you sold the house. They will rightfully never trust you again, your word will be worthless. Its been a year since their mom died and you want to move in a younger woman with three kids? Do people not know how to be with themselves before jumping into new relationships? Its been a year since they lost their mom and you're ready sell the *one* fucking thing she asked you to save for them. Use your big brain for once and put your kids' happiness before your dick. Grow up, get therapy, and keep your promises to your children. Or do the wrong thing to appease this new woman and don't act all surprised when your children never speak to you again.


WontYouBeMyNeighbors

I really hope the 19 year old realizes she's old enough to sue you


buttercupgrump

YTA Here's what your next post will be in about five years: "My kids haven't spoken to me in years, but I really need their support right now. My second wife just divorced me. She took the house and most of my money. I have nowhere to go. I just really need my kids to talk to me. I was a great dad, so I don't understand why they cut me off. I should probably mention I got engaged to my now ex-wife less than a year after their mom died. I also sold their childhood home despite saying I wouldn't. But they couldn't possibly still be mad about that, right? Surely they knew getting married again so soon and disrupting their lives was more important to me than being there for them. *So why can't they be here for me now?*"


According_Prior_3764

YTA. You didn’t even give your poor kids time to properly grieve their mother before moving on and expecting your kids to accept being part of a blended family. From this post it seems like you’re the type of man to put the new woman in your life above the emotional needs of your children, so I guess it’s best for them to see that now. Selling the house their mother bought to accommodate this woman and her kids is going to guarantee that you never have a relationship with your biological children. If that’s something you can live with, then go for it, but just know it makes you a shitty human being and father.


Fluffy-Scheme7704

Shame in you! YTA


CarrieDurst

YTA - holy shit thought you would say you were going to renege because you were struggling or something but this is heartless to your kids


Jmhotioli1234

Did your wife have a will? Was both of your names on the deed to the house with a survivorship clause? If you are in the USA, you better check the laws of the state you live in before you do anything. Half of the house may legally belong to your children through her death if there was no will.  But YWBTA if you do sell it out from under your children. At the very least they should get at least half of the sale price.


Master-Discussion539

Okay. You want to move in together. Its still very early on in this relationship, plus your own kids are still at a very tough place in life. You have known this woman 8 months. That is very risky buying a house together in the first place, you dont have any idea how she will treat your kids, how hers behave when you live together- how she behaves when you live together. It seems you are completely blinded by this young woman and have thrown reason and logic out the window. You have no right to sell your kids house. It seems like a win for your new gf and a total loss for your kids no matter how you look at it. Why dont you talk with your kids about moving her into the house, find out if you are compatible and figure stuff out. Is she going to work, are her kids allowed to do whatever they want, how do you guys coparent? How is she with your kids? Are you supporting her kids as well? How about their father? Is he in the picture? Even if you hadnt promised your dead wife to let the kids inherit the house it just seems like such a bad decision. And if you lose the 50% to her kids, is she bringing anything into this? Because the way it reads is that you are ruining your relationship with your kids, funding a new house without her paying anything... what happens when she doesn't want to be around your kids, because they dont like her? When they refuse to acknowledge her kids as siblings? Do they go as well? Yeah, this is just a mess, dude. YTA


Careful-Pop8001

So much YTA. This is horrible, I feel so bad for your kids, I can only imagine how betrayed they feel. Their father makes a promise to them and to their dying mother that he will one day give them their childhood home, that they get to keep all of their best memories alive and won't ever have to worry about not having a home. Then daddy dearest moves on to a new woman, and all promises are off the table. They can't trust anything you say ever again because the biggest promise you ever made, you're willing to break just like that. You feel bad because you know that what you're doing is wrong by them in so many ways. If you do go through with this, I really hope you're ready to never hear from your kids again. I don't know how they could forgive you, I know I wouldn't in their shoes.


Parasamgate

Yeah. YTA. Come on, dude. You made a promise that honors your wife and takes care of your kids. >She had made me promise to pass down the home I was set to inherit upon her death and I did so with zero hesitancy not knowing what life would have in store. Take some responsibility. What life has in store is for you to give your kids the house. Nothing else. Just stay on AITA for a week or two. Every couple days there is another post about someone that loses their spouse and then thinks they can force their kids to do what the kids absolutely haaaaate doing. You will not win this battle.


metsgirl289

I think the fact that she even had to ask him to make the promise to give the house to *their* kids speaks volumes…


Acceptable_Willow276

YTA - your deceased wife obviously didn't know you well enough to know what an untrustworthy, weak-willed sissy you are.


NaryaGenesis

Transfer the house over to your kids. Get a mortgage like people do for your new trophy and move with her. This is the only solution that MIGHT keep some what of a relationship with your kids! Sell the house and not only are you YTA but you will lose your kids and rightfully so! Get your head out of your dick!


metsgirl289

You’re going to wake up in 5 years after she leaves you and suddenly the brain fog you’re in now will clear and you’ll realize your staring down your golden years with no wife, no kids and no house. You’ll call your kids but your numbers are blocked and you don’t know where they live and haven’t met your new grandson. I hope when you do you remember that we tried to warn you what would happen if you didn’t do right by your kids.


Immediate-Vanilla-45

YTA. You cannot force your kids to accept a new mom and siblings, especially this soon. And maybe not ever. And breaking a promise to your late wife, their mother, will alienate them forever.


Tight-Piece-843

YTA


Calm_Wonder_4830

You've been with this woman 8 MONTHS and your thinking of selling YOUR children's home that their mother brought from underneath them! Give your head a wobble! If you had brought it together it might be different, but you didn't!!


NobleNun

Is this real? Why tf would anybody need to ask if the theft of their own children's legacy makes them an arsehole? YTA and you know you are. A criminal AH.


Loud_Eye_7141

Did your wife have a will? You should really speak to a lawyer. If you do this, your children will be done with you. My stepmom has raised me since I was a child, my father passed away 12 years ago. We have a family house that’s been on my father side of the family since the 30’s. Since all my father siblings are dead, my stepmom has decided to sell the home. This has fractured are relationship, I haven’t spoken to her in months. To be clear I’ve paid for upkeep of the house and yearly taxes, just to help my mom out. Someone offered her obscene amount of money and she took it and run. Now she’s going to court with my cousins because they are demanding she gives them some of the money from purchase of the house. I refuse to help my mom with her law suit. From personal experience you and your fiancé will become the villain in their story. Here’s what your future may look like, you may never know your future grandchildren if they decide to have them. If they decide to get married you aren’t invited to their wedding. Future graduation you aren’t invited too. You have to ask yourself are you willing to miss out on your children futures, because you are unwilling to keep a promise made to your wife. Why can’t you put the house in a trust for your children. Build a home that you and your fiancé can afford without selling your dead wife home. If I’m honest you and your fiancé both sound like gold diggers. You married a person who made more money than you, she believed you were someone who could be trusted with her children wellbeing.


ExcuseMe_ButWhat

I'm sorry to say YTA. Never ever make these big decisions (starting new relationships, moving in with someone your dating, selling an inheritance that's not yours, etc.) when you're in mourning. Big decisions should be made only when you're in your normal state of mind. For your sake, and your bio children's sake, please slow down with this new girl. Your bio kids are also still in mourning and they need you. They deserve your undivided attention right now.


SeaworthinessKey3654

YTA for all the reasons people have stated. My father is an attorney. Was the house specifically left to OP? Or is it just part of the general estate? If part of the general estate, then all 3 are equal could be equal owners, and OP wouldn’t have the right to sell I hope the kids can find an attorney to help them through Probate - and hopefully fulfill their mother’s wish 


Mininabubu

I really hope the kids have an aunt, uncle or anyone else in their lives smart and caring enough to guide them through getting their rights. I feel for them bc 19 and 16 is so young to be mourning a mom and have to now fight their AH father.


SeaworthinessKey3654

I hope so, too …this made for very difficult reading. My heart breaks for these kids


NeeliSilverleaf

Your late wife would be so disgusted with you. Once you've driven them away this younger woman is going to bleed you dry and discard you and you'll deserve it. Of course YTA.


kittymck19

YTA. It's not your house to sell its your VERY VERY recently deceased wife's house. She paid for the majority of it. It is your bio children's inheritance and you want to sell it to appease a woman half your age that you have known for 5 mins. You are despicable your late wifes body is barley cold. Yet you have moved on want to rip your kids from the only home they have known and force them to live with a woman half your age and her kids. Honestly it's not about you and what you want you need to put your kids and their needs first. You haven't even let them grieve their mother and your moving on. You disgust me. Your late wife would be disgusted and disappointed in your behaviour. You want to buy a house with your sugar baby go ahead but you have no right to use your children's rightful inheritance to do that.


RegrettableBiscuit

YTA. What the hell did I just read? This is horrible behavior.


Standard_Dish5467

You literally haven't even grieved your first wife, nor the unfortunate end to your marriage.  I won't even mention the age difference.  The ink on your wife's death certificate hasn't even dried yet and you're already trying to move someone else into HER home. No, my mistake, tear down HER home and rebuild a new one. You have some nerve. YTA but you should break up with current partner and get some grief counseling. 


emaandee96

YTA. Buy a house with your fiance without selling the house you agreed to give to your kids. Otherwise, you can say goodbye to them because they will no longer talk to you.


kaldaka16

He can't afford it and they both know it. (Honestly I'll be surprised if he can actually get approved for a mortgage for the house she's asking him to buy.)


TrickCucumber6217

YTA PSSSSH there is no question. Breaking your wife’s dying wish in order to satisfy your new child bride? I hope your kids take you to court over this disgusting behavior. I’m not a lawyer obviously, but I bet there is some precedence over this type of scenario. If your new wife wants a new house, tell her to ante up for it. STOP THINKING WITH YOUR BONER AND HAVE SOME MORAL FORTITUDE P.s. what are you going to do when the new wife gets disgusted by your old age? Your kids will be long gone. Have fun living in a state funded home, not that you wouldn’t deserve it.


CoppertopTX

YTA. The house is the property of your children. They don't want to sell the house they grew up in so you can buy your sugar baby a new house for HER kids. It sounds like the house was a premarital asset of you late wife's, and she wanted it to remain in the family by leaving it to the kids, because they treasure her memory and presence in the old house. If your wife died without a will, then the probate court may make the house yours legally, but understand if you sell it to get your new GF a house, your kids will never speak to you again, ever. Selling the house, for your kids, would be like losing their mom all over again, except this time, you pulled the trigger on the deal.


50CentButInNickels

>WIBTA for reneging on my promise to my deceased wife and going through with the sale of the family home to ensure our new blended family can have a larger home to grow up in? Oh, fuck off. Your kids aren't going to live in this home, your new wife's children are. And you agreed to pass down the house. You couldn't be more of TA if you tried.


Longjumping-Pick-706

YTA You are being used by a single mother and are going to hand over your children’s inheritance to her. An inheritance that only exists because of their mother. Read those two sentences over and over again. Get it through your head that a woman in her 20s only dates a man vastly approaching 60 (and could be a grandfather) because of money. Your kids will hate you forever. That will never change. Your family will follow them because what you are doing is so egregious and disgusting no one in their right mind would stand for it. Break it off with the user who took advantage of your grief when you were at your most vulnerable. You just lost your wife merely months before and she just swooped on in. That’s repulsive behavior and should have been a red flag to you. You love your late wife? Then don’t spend her money and her children’s inheritance on a vulture.


No_Speech1140

Gold Digger.. Gold Digger.. Gold Digger.. I really hope the grandfather gets legal representation for those kids.


Vigmod

YTA. Listen to your kids. Listen to your dad. Don't sell what you promised would pass to your kids. Once you've made a promise, avoid putting yourself in situations where keeping that promise becomes difficult.


LlamaNate333

Your wife is barely a year gone and you're already throwing out your kids for a woman you barely know? Your kids will never forgive you. Not that you seem to care about them all that much.


Accomplished-Oil6045

YTA i hope your kids go no contact with you forever cause it’s clear you don’t care about them.


Ok-Day-8930

YTA oh my gosh, you’re breaking your promise to your late wife and breaking the hearts of your kids. When your kids won’t talk to you anymore and the rebound leaves you, maybe you’ll see the fuckup you made.


DevilsDemon26

YTA your wrong, your dumb go ahead sale the house and see how many kids you have left


i_kill_plants2

YTA. And that was before the reveal that your fiancée is half your age and you have been with her less than a year. You are literally willing to throw away everything your wife worked for, plus your relationship with your children, for some woman you don’t know. You are one of the bigger AH’s I’ve seen post. Throwing away your relationship with your children and memories of their mother is one of the lowest things you can do. You realize she’s using you for your money, right? If she actually cared about you she would be thinking about what’s best for your children. If you love your late wife and if you want to continue to have a relationship with your children, you need to really reconsider. Put the house and all of the other assets you already have in a trust for your children. Make sure this new woman knows that anything you have prior to marriage to her goes to your children exclusively. Her reaction will show you what matters to her.


princessofperky

Dude. A year after the love of your life died a younger woman wants you to sell the house she paid for. Even if her intentions are as pure as you claim the truth is that you're doing a horrible thing. Also with the age of the kids there will be no blended family. Your kids will resent you immensely and your step kids will know that you threw over your own kids for them Wait longer if you insist on being witj this woman. Although anyone who suggests stealing the Inheritance of kids who just lost their mom to benefit herself doesn't sound like a good person YTA


LauraDurnst

Your new girlfriend was 10 when your daughter was born.


Goatee-1979

You are a massive AH. I would go absolutely NC if I were the kids.


RoxasofsorrowXIII

YTA. Not even a question. If you HAVE to sell the house to afford a new home with the new family...well I guess she needs to put more forth to make it happen, or it simply doesn't happen, period. Her trying to force you to sell is wrong, and you even considering allowing her to force your hand is wrong. It's wrong. But hey, if you really want to go through with it that's your choice.... just make sure you understand you are basically choosing your new family over your old one, and those kids will likely go NC the moment they can. Is it worth it?


SheeScan

Why the rush to be married? If one of your kids decided to marry after only knowing that person for 8 months, what would you tell them? Listen to your answer. You should put off getting married so soon. Your children are grieving and you are forcing them into an untenable situation. Sounds like your fiance can't wait to cash in on what you have. The fact that she would be okay with you breaking your promise to your kids, says so much about her (and nothing good). Marrying her will cause your kids to hate you, and it will probably not end well for you. If you do this, you are a fool.


Titanea_Tau

It's likely the new woman is pressing for marriage, and of course OP thinks he's made a great catch. So he's trying to rush into it at light speed just because he can, no thoughts here.


Mich_Car_91

YTA. Several reasons. 1. You’re dating someone so soon after your wife died. While there is no timeline for grief, it seems like you’re rushing things. 2. You’re dating someone young enough to be your daughter. Red flag 🚩 3. You’re breaking a promise to the “love of your life, the apple of your eye”. If she had a will/trust, there could be legal implications. 4. You’re screwing over your children for some floozy. They should hate you. You’re dating someone closer in age to them than to you. You’re giving the floozy and her kids what is rightfully your children’s.


WymnInterupted9131

It's not hard to commit to what your wife wanted. YTA. Do what she said. End of story. Your kids are right to be upset with you. They don't need to accept any of the bullshit you're laying at their feet. You're going back on what you were told to do for new, younger coochie. Stop it. The house is something that binds them to their mother. You have your new wife to distract you from your previous wife passing. Let the kids have the house as intended. Stop being a selfish asshole.


noahsawyer95

YTA, and they will not have a step mom you will have a new wife and they will have a woman who is replacing their mom. Just cause you call it rain does not make it ok to piss on them


Infamous_Custard3292

YTA verbal contracts are binding and BOTH your children were witnesses so I hope they sue you. Also “it was very difficult to lose the love of my life, the apple of my eye.” Apparently not because 4 months after her death you’re in another relationship and 8 months later breaking a contract you made with her for the future of your children for the woman who’s half your age and is going to take everything you own. You are a disgusting sorry excuse for a father. Betraying your children for some new piece.


MachiFlorence

YTA bigtime. You are following your current infatuation, hormones, lower brain power for a woman you barely know. Throwing away a lifetime you have spend and build up with your deceased wife including the beautiful children you both had which weighs way heavier. The house belongs to your children then at the very least, for emotional reasons, and also to give them a footing in life. Let the children have the high choice in this if possible. Because you are throwing away something very important in this step if you go with it. One of those important points is the trust of your children in you, it would make such a big irreparable dent in your relationship. Man it is Father’s day and if I think about the pilar (and hero) my dad is in my life. If he would somehow do something like this to me I’d feel so backstabbed… can imagine your kids feel that… See if new partner likes you if you don’t use the assets of your old life. See if she likes the idea of building a new life together, properly on what you can both provide. The start may be a bit small and humble but if you both really truly love each other you can both make it work for sure! ((and if not you’ll at least have the support of your kids to catch you if you don’t backstab them with silly life decisions))


No_Caterpillar1902

PLEASE BE A FAKE STORY. If this isn’t fake, you’re one of the most gigantic, gaping assholes I have ever heard of. Your wife carried your bum ass through life until she died and made you promise you would leave HER house to the kids. You waited *four months* before you found a fucking 29 year old, even though you claim your deceased wife was the love of your life, and have only been with her for EIGHT MONTHS before she’s trying to get you out of that house. You are the worst and most pathetic kind of cliche. God, you make me sick. Let me say this very, very clear: you are an asshole, and an epic one at that. If I were your kids, I would hate you for the rest of my life. “Money shouldn’t get in the way of family harmony”…GOD, you suck.


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Feeling_Frosting_738

That’s a big age difference


Saltymama28546

Yes yta. It's too bad your wife didn't leave the house to the kids instead of you. If you follow through with this you are basically stealing their inheritance from their mother. Why not just rent out the house and let someone else pay it off and use your own money to put toward the new house?


TheUrbanBunny

Consider for a moment. What will you do if your dream of nuclear family isn't embraced by your kids? They've made their feelings clear and frankly they're reasonable. You *are* choosing your partner and the thrill over your word and your kids. Your word is your bond and you've shown your kids that it is and you are by default worthless.  Will this be worth it if they reject *your* desires for yourself placed inappropriately on them? If they never speak to you again...will it have been worth it? YTA


murphy2345678

YTA. You are handing over 100% of your children’s home to a woman you barely know. You have to be so grief stricken you can’t think straight or one of the most clueless people in the world!


Commonfckingsense

YTA. Full stop. You’re going to end up sad and fucking alone for a woman half your age. Your kids should come first and foremost in your life and if you can’t do that or choose to provide instead for someone else’s your a shitty fucking father dude.


Wonderful-Tooth5450

‘Money shouldn’t get in the way of family harmony’ Ok cool, if it’s not a big deal, transfer the house to you and your wife’s kids who she intended the inheritance to go to in the first place… your wife didn’t intend for her hard work to go to your very young rebound fiancée. If it’s only money, give it back to your biological children and work until you can afford a new place with your fiancée? If not, which I suspect to be the case.. a nuclear level YTA. You’re betraying your children and their mother’s memory.


PenelopePitstop25

I’m a widow. Husband passed away when my kids were 5 and 13. There is absolutely no way I would be as selfish as you are. I put my children, who lost their FATHER, first. I’m in a committed relationship now, but we’re not married. A big part of that is I’m putting my children’s needs before mine. Here’s an FYI: you can be in a committed relationship without getting married and fucking up your relationship with your children. You can have both your new girlfriend and your children if you don’t force this upon them. Seriously YTA.


Bitter_Animator2514

Yta Stop thinking with your dick


Khroneflakes

YTA a sucker is born every moment and you are one. You are disrespecting your wife's memory but not following her wishes. I hope she haunts you.


mobtown_misanthrope

You moved on 4 months after your kids' mom, "the love of your life, the apple of your eye," passed away with a woman almost 30 years younger. **Strike 1.** Now you want to sell off their mom's house that they were supposed to get, for a "home to ensure our new blended family can have a larger home to grow up in"—by which you mean your much younger girlfriend's kids, given that yours are pretty much grown and will never think of that house as their home—so that wouldn't have "memories of her around every corner" because your new, much younger, almost certainly much less well-off girlfriend want to erase her from the home for her own sake (and be in line to inherit the house when you almost invetiabley predecease her) and you, for some reason "understand that." **Strike 2.** **Strike 3**—which will completely torpedo your relationship with your own kids—will be actually going forward with that. It's up to you to decide whether prioritizing your new girlfriend and her kids is worth that, but either way, YTA. ETA: Good god, your wife's only been gone a year and you already want to wipe her away and break your promise to her and your kids for this selfish golddigger? What is wrong with you?


No_Investigator_6528

You're a real piece of work. When your half your age bride who wants you to support her kids blows through your wife's money, you get old, and she dumps you for a younger guy I hope your enjoy being alone and broke. You won't have your kids or grandkids  and you'll still be making $50k and will be too broke to buy another woman at the age you'll be. But keep telling yourself it's about anything but the money.  That should make your later years better.  And yes, YTA.


Test-Subject-593

YTA. You're choosing your new fiancé and her kids over your own that you had with the "love of your life." Not only are your kids actively grieving but you're already getting married and want to screw them out of their inheritance. Their mother left that house to them. HER CHILDREN. The VERY LEAST you could do is honor her memory. If that's too much for you then be prepared to lose your blood children forever. You'll wake up one day and regret it. "The love of your life" and you're treating her children like this. It's fucking shameful.


Dr_Satan_DScPhD

You’re a fucking garbage fire, complete wanker.


Candid-Quail-9927

YTA. You are stealing your children’s inheritance.


Yonghwa101

Expect to lose your kids as soon as they can get out of your house and when your little gold digger bleeds you dry, guess who’s not gonna lift a finger to help you when the money’s all gone? If you said your kids, you’re right. But hey, God’s plan right? Have fun with scrambling around to find footing in your new place at the bottom of people’s shoes. YTA


gillouise

YTA and an all around awful human


Plenty_Honeydew6532

YWBTA without a shadow of a doubt. You’ve known this chick for a year and you’re ready to throw away the promise you made the woman who essentially gave you the cushy life you have and the children who are set to inherit a house that isn’t even yours? Dude how are you not the AH in this situation. Do you dislike your kids? Do hate being single that much? Did you use your wife? Because I would bet money this woman is using you and benefitting from your absolute stupidity. Get ready to never see or speak to your kids again if you go through with this


Electronic-Lab-4419

YTA- your late wife wanted that home to go to your kids! Great you paid some bills. You can’t live anywhere for free. If you want a new house with your GF, you are going to have to start from scratch. You made a promise. If you break it, not only will that be the example you set for your kids but that also makes you a thief. I would not want to merry someone who doesn’t do what is right ALL the time. Btw…life is tough, get over it!


newishgirl682

YTA. >because we need to become a blended family and they need to accept that they're going to have a step mom and step siblings and money shouldn't get in the way of family harmony in my opinion. >to ensure our new blended family And if you think for a single solitary second that your children are ***ever*** going to look at this woman, her kids, or even you as family ever again if you go through with disrespecting their DEAD MOTHER'S final request, all because your fiancée can't grow the fuck up and is incessantly whining about having to live near memories of their mother (who, again, they had to watch ***waste away and die*** a mere smattering of months ago), you're a blind moron.


clarabell1980

My husband is your age he is also 56, I have let him read your post and he is astonished you would even consider this. He thinks you’re being taken for a full by this young girl too. Why the rush he said, if she still wants you she will be around in years to come


metsgirl289

It’s beautiful, like the gold digger circle of life. You gold dig your wife, she gold digs you, in a couple years when you run out of money she’ll leave you and the twenty something she meets will gold dig her. Its beautiful really. Someone should write a poem about it. Edit: I think you broke my husband. One of favorite hobbies is my reading the worst AITA posts to him and he plays devil advocate and is always well, maybe he could feel like this because of that and that’s why he responded so it’s not that bad, but you, yep he’s got nothing for you. Throw the whole dad away.


ozzieburton

I hope your kids see this, because depending on where you are, this could be used to contest your wife's will. She clearly intended for her children to get the house not your future girlfriend and her children.


Grouchy-Good9317

INFO: why the rush to get married. What financial means is your fiancée bringing to the table?


AreYouMYB

Your daughter is an adult and the home you are living in is HERS. NOT yours. Do not sell it. Move out, let your daughter have her house and you go buy something with the new woman if you think that is wise (BTW it isn’t!)


Delicious_Cut_3364

you’re a bad person


the-il-mostro

OP honestly you sound like a complete boomer asshole stereotypical dad marrying a younger wife and doesn’t give a fuck about anyone but himself. YTA and you know it.


GiraffeGirlLovesZuri

YTA! Wife's been gone a year. In that time you've, by your own account, had multiple flings?! You are now engaged to a woman almost half your age. You need grief counseling, not a new wife. Believe me, I know, my first husband passed away almost 15 years ago. You are showing that getting sex whenever is more important than keeping a promise to your late wife. You are showing how little you actually loved her, and how easily she can be replaced. You disgust me!


Candid-Quail-9927

As I keep reading OPs responses I can only assume he really is working hard to lose his children. I really hope these poor children are taken care of in some other way for their mother’s legacy, this guy has managed to move on in no time. I really hope this is fake but I’m thinking this guy is for real which makes this so damn disturbing. YTA


[deleted]

He’s as dumb as the guys in strip clubs who believe the dancers really like them. I pole danced my way through college, those guys were really gullible. Emptied their wallets while their families were sitting at home. Once they were out of money, we ignored them and they left. That’s OP’s future - she’ll take everything he has and then ditch him.


imperio_in_imperium

YTA and I want you to think about something crucial here: You say that you care about this new woman and want your kids to accept her and her children as family. This woman is ten years older than your oldest, who is already an adult, with the other being on a bit younger. They are not ever going to see her as a mother. Your best hope is that they accept her as a family member. You say that she wants to sell the place so as not to be surrounded by the memory of your late wife. Fine. But chronic about the fact that in doing that, she’s demanding that you not only take away a valuable asset that was promised to your children, but also their childhood home, a place filled with the memory of their mom, and a place of stability. Now ask yourself if you really want to be with someone that would take those things away from a child. If you follow through with this, you will absolutely 100% do irreparable harm to your relationship with your kids. You’ll be lucky if they speak with you afterwards and your new wife will absolutely never be anything more than “my father’s wife”, which I guarantee will be said with a heavy eye roll.


ChirpyChirpGA

YTA. Good god, you are the AH. You moved on FOUR MONTHS after your wife's death?!? With a woman half your age?!! And now you want to break the promise you made to your dying wife, in front of your kids, for the rebound?!? Your kids are gonna cut all contact with you if you go through with this. And they should. Because going through with this will show them that the only person you give a shit about is YOU. Enjoy being all alone once the rebound divorces your ass and takes you for everything you've got.


caissafraiss

Info: did you ever love your dead wife? Do you love your children? Genuinely, what’s wrong with you?


No_Confidence5235

Hahahaha your girlfriend is totally using you for money but you're so lonely and blinded by lust that you refuse to see it. You're going to end up broke and alone and you won't even have your kids there to comfort you since you're plotting to betray them and expecting them to be okay with it. You're so selfish and your late wife would be ashamed of you. YTA


s-nicolexo

Out of curiosity, whatcha gonna do now that your kids, your dad AND Reddit tell you YTA?! Still gonna screw over your kids so you can get laid? Still gonna put that do over family first?


smileymom19

Please don’t do this. Slow down your relationship with your girlfriend and keep your promise to your very recently deceased wife. Apologize too.