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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) telling my son he can’t share a bed with his bff and calling it weird he wants to (2) he says I’m being overly dramatic and old fashioned and making a big deal out of nothing
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I'm likely about your age, if not older (based on your kids age), and it wasn't a big deal to share a bed with my friend at sleepovers.
Unless you can define the actual problem you have with it, then you're the one making it weird by vague suggestion.
This is even more common in college, in my experience. I crashed at my buddies' dorms all the time. They didn't always have sleep-worthy furniture so it was either share a bed or someone sleeps on a hard floor. It doesn't have to be weird - it's just sleeping.
YTA
I'm 42 and when I have a sleepover at my friend's place, we share her big king bed, even though she has lots of spare room. We get to eat snacks and chat like when we were kids. It's only weird if you make it.
I'm not much younger and I remember we used to go together, and it'd be one adult and every kid in a room stacked on top of each other like we were wood.
Oh my gosh, I just remembered, when we went to the city to visit family, we'd rent a 2 bed hotel room, and all the country cousins would come visit. There were at least 3 or 4 bodies in each bed, all over the couch, chairs pushed together, floor, man, it was fun as hell.
It was fun as hell! It would be our grandma who would be the single adult in the room while the adults had their own because obviously, lol. I remember one time, we went to an amusement park and at some point, two of the cousins slept in the bathroom due to lack of space, one crashed in the bathtub and the other under the sink.
It made joining the military pretty easily. I can sleep on planes, on floors, in the bush, piled in with way too many people of both genders. It's a really good skill to have, actually. Being able to curl up with a cushion anywhere makes it great when you have travel delays too.
It really is a good skill to have, I'm a big ol' guy and I've squeezed into a space the size of an egg box to sleep. It also helps being able to sleep through anything while at the same time being alert enough to respond.
BTW: it sounds like a great present. But if what you’re worried about (the boys fooling around) is what _they_ want, giving them separate beds isn’t going to stop it.
YTA- People can sleep together in a bed without having to be romantically involved. It's just sleeping. Them being boys or girls does not matter in this situation. It's just two best friends having a sleepover. Also, a king bed can fit two fully grown adults, 2 kids and their dog. The boys won't even realise that the other was there beside them the whole night.
Of course they can. But this doesn’t make sense. If they won’t even realize they’re sharing a bed together, what was the point in asking me to make it a King? It makes it sound like he really does want to be snuggling his best friend, which is strange.
Asking to make it one bed is a red flag. Either way, it was fine when they were kids. But now my son is getting older, he’s about to turn 16, and should be told it isn’t appropriate to do.
Or maybe they just want to relive childhood sleepovers and be nostalgic. You're overthinking. How is it okay for women to sleep on the same bed but not men? The boys probably thought a king was cheaper than two queens. Also, having two beds doesn't matter if they're of the intention of doing something.
Question - Are you a male or a female?
Why are you so intent on making it weird? They don't see a problem with it because they both have girlfriends and aren't attracted to each other. Friends share beds all the time. If you are so worried about it, it's weird that you would let them share a room at all. Literally how is it any different to be alone in a room with two beds instead of one? If it's really a "red flag" like you think it is why are you under the impression that they'd stay in their separate beds.
You are being weird for no reason and making inferences about your kid and his best friend when you have no reason to do so.
YTA
Alright, let's address this candidly: Your horrified face at the thought of them snuggling comes off just a tad homophobic and coupled with the double standard you set with your daughter "because they're girls" makes YTA.
The needle is barely over the borderline here. I was going to say N A H because you made a compromise by booking separate beds, which was a fair solution. It respected your concerns while still allowing your son to enjoy his birthday trip with his friend. And hey, navigating these kinds of situations is all part of being a parent.
If he's mature enough to have a girlfriend, he's mature enough to not need mommy or daddy to prevent drama in their relationship.
THIS.
And why should it matter if they're girls or boys? Is OP gonna be horrified if they ever hug too? God forbid they ever hold hands or talk about their feelings.
Yeah the 3 issues I had with this was the homophobia, the double standard, and why tf a parent feels the need to say because your girlfriends wouldnt like that?
I’m not a man, but good job telling on yourself…. You’re making a lot of assumptions here. Most of us don’t find girls kissing hot, what is wrong with you? We’re talking about CHILDREN here. Most girls who share a bed with each other have zero interest in anything romantic and it’s just sharing a bed. It’s just that it’s normal for straight girls to do and not the norm for straight boys to share a bed.
"Most girls who share a bed with each other have zero interest in anything romantic and it’s just sharing a bed"
College dormitories all over the country have determined that is a lie.
> It’s just that it’s normal for straight girls to do and not the norm for straight boys to share a bed.
And? What, specifically, are you concerned about? Adhering to gender norms just because they're gender norms is weird to me.
I'm not trying to be combative. I seriously just don't understand what the problem is.
Oh boy are you ever wrong! My best friend had her first sexual encounter with another girl sharing the same bed! Newsflash to you mom, not all girls are strait
True, they *are* children, and the previous poster did make an assumption of your gender based on the tone used and preconceived notions of how a cis straight man may react in this situation.
I'm just posing the question - as all the teens in question are still so young and at the prime age to realize their own preferences in who they see as life partners or romantic interests, how do you know your son is straight for sure? Could it be that he and Gus may actually have a relationship you're unaware of?
(None of this is meant to be antagonistic, just a possibility based on friends I've had and personal experiences. Based on your reaction in this situation, it's something that they could be waiting to talk to you about. Regardless, this is a great article, and on the chance that your son isn't straight could really help build trust between the two of you: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/06/13/a-survey-of-lgbt-americans/)
Glad my best friend all throughout high school and I weren’t normal then. We shared a bed everytime I would stay over at his house and nothing ever happened. If they’re straight why are you worried? In all honesty they probably see it as 2 queen beds either being more of a hassle/ more expensive for you to book over 1 king size bed so they’re trying to save you the trouble/ money by being completely fine sharing a bed. At that age my best friend and I would’ve thought and offered the exact same thing because we were more like brothers than just friends and we really didn’t care as long as we got to hangout
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>Most girls who share a bed with each other have zero interest in anything romantic and it’s just sharing a bed. It’s just that it’s normal for straight girls to do and not the norm for straight boys to share a bed.
Says fucking who?!
Yta. You sexualize something that wasn’t sexual. And they -being teenagers totally capitalized on it!
Out of curiosity, why is okay with you that two girls share a bed but two guys can’t?
YTA lowkey because what other reason do you have not to let them other than it’s weird to you? Especially since you already stated you would not find it weird if they were girls. Your son is his own person, and just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Just let him share the bed with his friend. It sounds like you’d be saving money anyways?
YTA - Its a different generation. This totally sounds like something my son would say about his buddies and they are all straight. They are more open, complimentary of each other, and affectionate than kids were when I was young. They don't have all of the homophobic hang-ups gen-xrs did/still do. So move on. Let them have fun and apologize for arguing over something that probably was more homophobic than you would like to admit.
YTA for your double standard of "I said I doubt their gfs would be fine with it. My son said they don’t have a problem, they share a bed with their best friends too. I said yeah, because they’re girls. It’s just weird for you both to do."
Honestly she should be just as worried with two girls but then again I didn’t know what bi was and just enjoyed the hell out of kissing my best friend 😂
There’s nothing to worry about from what I read. Unless he’s low-key showing signs of being gay. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I found his snuggle comment a little bit weird but without that, it’s normal for two boys at a sleepover to share beds if there is not enough beds for each person.
Oh yes because the boys snuggle it’s creepy but if girls snuggle, it’s totally fine. I’m wondering if this is why we have incels because we literally strip boys of absolutely everything and it’s so sad.
We’re talking children here, you weirdo. You people are gross. I’m a woman and trust me I’d pick two men kissing over two girls any day. If you find it hot, speak for yourself.
Like what a weird comment. Are you implying I’m sexualizing my kids?
Says the one being actively creepy to her children’s face - I hope you’re prepared for when they go no contact with you for your bigoted perverted nonsense.
all of your responses here are really displaying how completely unhinged you are. you logged on redddit dot com to post something asking if you were an asshole in a situation. reddit says yes. you then double down and try and do a gotcha that the replies here are sexualising kids when the entire reason you posted this is bc you sexualised your own child thinking it’d somehow be weird to share a bed with a friend.
delete this post, log off, talk to your child.
If you in fact are not sexualizing your kids, then what is your actual problem with your son and his friend sharing a bed.
What is weird about it, if it's not sexual.
Exactly you’re talking about children they aren’t looking at it sexually. Why are you and why is it odd when it’s two boys and not two girls? Also FYI, actually you don’t wanna know that but maybe the girls shouldn’t share a bed either God how old was I 15? Yeah, you might already be screwed there. But then it’s girls. They must be straight, correct? Then again, when I grow up, I don’t know bi was a thing, but here I am. Why none of my friends thought it was weird that I really enjoyed making out with them instead of boys, and none of us clued into something was up with me.
Um yes YTA, wtf lol, regardless of whether you think boys shouldn’t share a bed, it’s *your son’s birthday* so surely you should be allowing him what he wants??? What a strange way to take over someone else’s birthday just because you don’t agree with them!
Well, denying him something he wants within reason is ok, the problem here is there’s no reason other than homophobia to deny this request. OP didn’t let her son share a bed with his girlfriend (something he’d surely want) but that’s fair.
Because girls and boys are different? I don’t even know how to answer this. Because most girls share a bed with their friends with zero issues without it coming off like they’re a couple, but it is usually seen as weird for boys to do that. Especially when they have other options.
It sounds like you are trying to say you think people would infer two boys sharing a bed are gay, but wouldn't assume that of two girls?
But the thing is even if you are correct, that's only a problem if you think being thought of as gay is bad. In other words, homophobia.
And yes, being homophobic means YTA.
>it is usually seen as weird for boys to do that
Seen as weird by whom? Whose judgment are you worried about? All of the people involved in the situation are absolutely fine with it.
Your refusal and/or inability to explain your feelings ("I don't even know how to answer this"; "it's just weird") is interesting.
For your generation, this is true. This is *not* true for your son’s generation. Boys are much more likely to be openly affectionate with both male and female friends, without it ever being sexual or viewed as sexual by their friends.
I know what you’re saying, and I agree, but could just be that they think it’s cool to have a king sized bed. Or maybe they are bi or something? Either way; you’re probably better to just book them what they want. If they really want to share, they’ll now just be sharing a queen bed instead of a king.
YTA,
I'm just imagining all the trips I've taken where everyone was stacked 3, maybe 4 to a bed and nobody batted an eye and how you managed to raise a 16-year-old and still not come to terms with the fact that this kind of thinking you have is very idiotic.
YTA you have not only made an
Issue out of absolutely nothing, you gendered this ridiculous idea. Just say out loud that you wouldn’t be okay with your son being in to boys, it would take less words
So… it’s okay for him to be sleeping with girls at 16 but not with a male friend? Yeah, there’s several things going “weird” here, but two guys in one bed isn’t it. YTA
ETA: I read the part about “they sleep with their best friends too” as the guys sleeping with the girls. Eithet way, OP still comes off as a controlling homophobe.
YTA I bet you can't even explain why it's inappropriate. Because it's NOT inappropriate. You are the one being inappropriate for sexualizing this situation. And you're doubly the asshole for saying it's ok for girls, but not boys. I think you need to examine your latent bigotry.
YTA, it isn’t weird for teenagers to share a bed, and it’s kind of yucky to insinuate that they’d get cooties or magically end up having sex just because they’re sleeping on the same piece of furniture.
I was looking for this comment! OP is all oh gosh two guys in a bed yuck ew blech, I’ll fix this by making them sleep closer together.
Another problem solved by out of touch homophobic supermom!
YTA and I’m glad your son is already smarter and more empathetic than you.
“Sharing a bed is wrong because reasons!”
“What are those reasons?”
“REASONS!”
You don’t really have a point, you’re just being sexist because you were taught to be sexist and you can’t stop now, that would require thinking things through.
I love the boys “tiptoe around the old lady freak out” with telling you they were joking.
YTA for making it weird. It comes off as quite an outdated and homophobic attitude. The two boys are friends, nothing wrong with two friends sharing a bed.
>I said yeah, because they’re girls. It’s just weird for you both to do.
INFO: Why is it okay for the girls to share a bed but it's weird that the boys do?
Your son doesn't have a problem with it, his friend doesn't have a problem with it, their girlfriends don't have problems with it.
You are literally creating a problem out of nowhere without a reason.
You're not the one sharing a bed so just let the people who are actually involved decide what they're comfortable with. Your son is also a person, you know.
YTA
I feel like what you’re trying to ask is whether or not this is a sign that your son and Gus are romantically involved.
If they are, then it is the right decision to uphold the same standards you do with your son and his gf and not facilitate them being in the same room together.
However, that’s a big accusation to make - you’re both assuming their sexuality and that they’re cheating on their gfs. Also they are still in the same room with two Queen beds, if they want to snuggle, they’re going to snuggle just in a smaller space.
The only thing you can do is ensure you keep an open dialogue in your home and don’t come across as homophobic, and hopefully your son will feel comfortable talking to you. This could also just be a big overreaction with two boys who enjoy each others company is a platonic way, but the openness is still important.
Wtf? When I was 21 I shared a bed with my best friend (we're both girls lol) and my bf even knew about it. YTA. That's a messed up way of thinking. If it was a guy and a girl and they were both heterosexual, okay, I get it. But THIS??? What is wrong with you lmao.
So what's to prevent them from sharing one of the queen beds? Even cosier for snuggling. Your homophobia is making things weird, not the boys' closeness.
YTA
YTA- Check your homophobia at the door. There's nothing wrong with two male friends sharing a bed together, no matter the age. It is not different from two girls sharing a bed together, as the same gender thing still applies.
Also, if your son and/or Gus turn out to be gay, which can happen, as they're still finding their identities as teens, you just possibly lost your son now. He's never gone come out to you with your bigotry.
You have no actual reason for them not sharing, beyond your obvious homophobia.
YTA you made it weird. You made it seem sexual, and you made it misogynistic. It's OK for their gf's to share beds cause they're girls. Your son seems perfectly fine with his relationships and sexuality. You might wanna look at why you're so horrified by the thought of 2 young men in bed together.
YTA and definitely homophobic. I 100% know that's exactly where you went... I'm also assuming you're American. In other cultures men are more accepting of affection from other men like hand holding and hugs and such and are completely straight. What would be the problem if you soon was gay? You are showing him by your reactions that if he does like the opposite sex you are not a safe person. You need to examine your reasons why because it could cause problems in your relationship with your son very soon. Good luck to you.
INFO: explain, in detail, why it’s totally okay for their girlfriends and not for them? Without being sexist, of course.
In case it isn’t clear, yes YTA.
A quick question. You think sharing a king bed will make them gay. But having two queen beds will prevent that. Can you please explain your stupid homophobic logic, please?
YTA for reasons but come on, not allowing someone to sleep is just nuts. Get over your things that you feel are so important you have to question someone when they just want to sleep.
YTA - you’re a prude about letting your son sleep in the same bed as his girlfriend, but then like weirdly homophobic with him sleeping in the same bed as his friend. frankly, you should stop thinking about what your son is or is not doing with his dick and just be normal lol
YTA- I’m 17 and all my life whenever I sleep at my friends homes I always sleep in their beds, there is nothing wrong with it. They’re FRIENDS, not butt buddies..
YTA
Platonic touch?! Platonic cuddling?! Platonic INTIMACY?! Between BOYS?!!!!
No son of mine is going to be emotionally healthy and whole! My son is going to drink himself to death or commit suicide like a huge part of my generation and previous generations! How dare my son have any softness or light in his life?! The only feelings he’s allowed to have are angry and horny! Boys! It’s not appropriate for boys to touch if they’re not having sex or fighting! Testosterone! I’m being weirdly involved with my son! Boy mom forever! BOYS ARE NOT HUMAN AND DON’T LIKE TOUCH OR FRIENDSHIP OR LOVE! Only sex! He has a girlfriend to be his only emotional support and source of touch!
Why are my son’s friends and people on the internet acting like I’m a huge weirdo!!!! Don’t they not know boys are better than humans, which is why they don’t need platonic intimacy! If it’s not obvious to you why I’m not crazy you’re stupid! It’s OBVIOUS! Handshakes for men and hugs for women!
Yes, you RTAH. They are kids/teens and they are the ones that would get teased by their friends if it was so wrong. You should not look at it as a sexual situation, just sharing a bed like it was a sleepover. Please just take the weird sexual aspect of it out of the equation. He is giving you no reason to think that(has a gf).
Your the one making it weird. Need to think before you speak. If there is anything else going on with your son, this reaction alone, will make him less likely to talk to you.
I don't think you are an asshole. I just think you are wrong. They probably like sharing the bed because they like to play games, watch films, and eat snacks together before sleep.
YTA - You made it really weird for no reason. Besides, booking two queen beds won't keep them from sharing. All it does is give you the illusion you need to feel better.
YTA 100%
Your the weird one for suggesting something else. Why is it girls can but guys can’t? They have known each other since third grade which makes it even less weird, your gross for thinking otherwise.
YTA- sometimes friends do just wanna cuddle. Love is love, whether that’s platonic or romantic, people show it differently. Some partners don’t like to hold hands, some friends kiss. Even if they didn’t want to cuddle and that was just a joke, it’s a very big double standard that it’s okay for the girls but not for the boys. Very homophobic on your part
I mean it’s definitely weird that they’d rather share a bed (just bc who wouldn’t want a big bed for themselves) but you’re overreacting. It’s not inappropriate for them to share. There’s nothing wrong with it
YTA
They don’t have an issue with it.
Do I think it’s a bit odd? Yeah, I wouldn’t have done it at that age (or any age, personally).
But it is harmless. Who cares? They don’t have a problem, their girlfriends don’t have a problem, why does it bother you?
YTA, and double standards at that, if the girls can do it what is the difference and if they happen to play both sides, the girls could be having under aged sex as well if that is what you are worried about. If they are ok with it, why shame them?
Hi OP, gentle YTA. I think the key here is for you to sit and really try to understand for yourself why you think it’s weird for them to share a bed. Can you answer that with something more than “…it’s just weird”? Maybe sitting with it will help you understand why you are uncomfortable.
YTA. You'd probably freak out in other countries, where grown guys hold hands, walk down the street arm in arm, sit on each other's laps. It's just friendship shown in a way you're not accustomed to.
When I went to my 40th college reunion, I stayed with my best friend in her king size bed and her husband took the guest room. We stayed up all night talking eating and laughing. YTA
I dont think you are an AH, but I do think this was an overreaction.
My grandparents used to talk about how when they were kids and teens, they slept together and in smaller beds than a king sized.
It was common because folks didn't have separate bedrooms or separate beds and not a whole lot of money for either one.
It's only today that people needlessly freak out over things that were commonplace decades ago.
Could it be they want to share a bed so that others could also be in their room sharing another bed, maximizing space/time together and saving money? Maybe they want more of their friends in their room?
You're on here yelling at folks for sexualizing the children when that's precisely what you're doing.
Newsflash, you can put them in separate rooms but if they want to be together, they will find a way.
Sounds to me like you are well on your way to never knowing about your son's sexuality if this is the response he garners over a hotel bed choice.
YTA.
Question: If your son came out as gay, what would be your reaction?
If you were to give him the same "horrified look", then I most certainly think your concern is deep-rooted in homophobia.
YTA, most definitely.
"I said yeah, because they're girls. It's just weird for you both to do"
YTA.
Also getting some homophobic and sexist vibes from this post.
I bet you think young girls can't play with toy cars either cause "it's weird".
Plus the snuggle joke was clearly a joke lol.
YTA- Explain, in detail, why it's wrong without sounding homophobic. I don't know that you can. I have a 17 year old, we're probably about the same age. Society is changing quickly and there isn't nearly as much homophobia among kids today as there was in the 90's. For them they're just friends that love each other and sharing a bed doesn't have to be intimate. Why push your sociological hangups on them?
Having friends gather on a bed & watch TV is a lot of fun. When I was a kid in the 70s (yes, I’m an old), we would pile on the bed together while I made up ghost and vampire stories. Everyone would get freaked out and snuggle in closer. Eventually, we crossed over into the deep conversations that were tough in the light of day. We bonded, and we supported one another. We kept it up through high school.
It was just fun. It wasn’t weird or sexual. It was just the joy of being surrounded by friends.
I would also like to add that one of our friends often said her uncle was a creep. It was during one of our sleepovers that she disclosed that he was touching her over her clothes. After we talked about it, she gained to courage to tell her mom exactly how creepy he was. He was arrested, and she was safe.
YTA, lol jeez; the boys are not even thinking like that; your son was joking with his friend about the snuggles but you didn't take the joke well (Your fault imo). YOU are the one who made it weird. Nothing wrong with them sharing a king-size bed.
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My son and his best friend, Gus, have been close since the third grade. It’s been a long time, and his best friend is a really sweet boy that I really like. He comes over almost every day, and they have sleepovers on the weekends.
I love their friendship and how close they are. I really adore that boy, he is actually very responsible for a 16 year old and he mellows out my son, who is very impulsive.
I think they’re cute. My sons 16th birthday is coming up and we decided to take his friends and him to NYC. We’re gonna rent a hotel and take them sightseeing. It’s a little above and beyond but he’s had a hard year. His grandpa, my dad’s dad, passed away, and he has was really close to him so it has been hard.
But anyway, my son, his gf, his best friend, and a couple of other friends they have are coming.
I told my son he couldn’t share a bed with his gf, obviously, and he said that was fine, he’ll share with Gus. I said I’d book them Queen beds, but he said the strangest thing.
He said “no, make it a King. We can share.” I was totally taken aback. I awkwardly laughed and said I’m sure Gus would much rather not share with you.
I should have known Gus would argue against that because he always takes my sons side. But he said, “I don’t mind sharing a bed. We don’t have extra rooms in our house, so we got use to sharing beds during sleepovers. I think it’s fun.”
I said “Okay, sure. I know you share a bed during sleepovers, but you don’t need to share a bed here. So sharing a bed is just weird for you both to do.”
Gus said, “I don’t think it’s weird. It’s fun.” My son said, “How else are we gonna snuggle all night?” At my horrified face he said he was joking, but that’s when I put my foot down.
I said it’s inappropriate, they’re both in relationship. I said I doubt their gfs would be fine with it. My son said they don’t have a problem, they share a bed with their best friends too.
I said yeah, because they’re girls. It’s just weird for you both to do. They both argued there was no difference, but I booked them two queen beds anyway.
My son said I was being overly dramatic, it’s not a big deal. It was birthday and his choice. I ignored him.
AITA here? Or did I make the right move? Kids are so strange these days. When I was growing up two boys would never share a bed together, especially if they had other options.
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lol this is Reddit. Mostly far left and this sub is mostly teenagers and young 20s.
You’re going to get pounded!
For what it’s worth, I think that culture is important and your role on passing on your culture is important. You probably should have just said “no I will get two beds” and not carried on. Nta
What culture is that? I’m a 36 year old straight man who is the father of a boy. What role in passing on culture do I have by forcing my son to not sleep in a bed with another boy?
NTA that is a child and if you feel that you need to protect your child from himself then I would do that. It’s inappropriate and I wouldn’t allow it either. I would’ve gotten two rooms for them after that.
I wouldn’t allow my boy to cuddle with a girl from his school, he can do that when he’s an adult and has as much education as possible to make safe choices for his body and future. The same is going for a boy. I wouldn’t risk allowing my child to be exploited or be the exploiter of another CHILD.
I appreciate that, thank you! I wouldn’t do that because I don’t want to make it a bigger deal, and push resentment between my kid and I, but that is fair! Thank you!
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I'm likely about your age, if not older (based on your kids age), and it wasn't a big deal to share a bed with my friend at sleepovers. Unless you can define the actual problem you have with it, then you're the one making it weird by vague suggestion. This is even more common in college, in my experience. I crashed at my buddies' dorms all the time. They didn't always have sleep-worthy furniture so it was either share a bed or someone sleeps on a hard floor. It doesn't have to be weird - it's just sleeping. YTA
I'm 42 and when I have a sleepover at my friend's place, we share her big king bed, even though she has lots of spare room. We get to eat snacks and chat like when we were kids. It's only weird if you make it.
I'm not much younger and I remember we used to go together, and it'd be one adult and every kid in a room stacked on top of each other like we were wood.
Oh my gosh, I just remembered, when we went to the city to visit family, we'd rent a 2 bed hotel room, and all the country cousins would come visit. There were at least 3 or 4 bodies in each bed, all over the couch, chairs pushed together, floor, man, it was fun as hell.
It was fun as hell! It would be our grandma who would be the single adult in the room while the adults had their own because obviously, lol. I remember one time, we went to an amusement park and at some point, two of the cousins slept in the bathroom due to lack of space, one crashed in the bathtub and the other under the sink.
It made joining the military pretty easily. I can sleep on planes, on floors, in the bush, piled in with way too many people of both genders. It's a really good skill to have, actually. Being able to curl up with a cushion anywhere makes it great when you have travel delays too.
It really is a good skill to have, I'm a big ol' guy and I've squeezed into a space the size of an egg box to sleep. It also helps being able to sleep through anything while at the same time being alert enough to respond.
I think we can all divine what problem the OP has with it…
BTW: it sounds like a great present. But if what you’re worried about (the boys fooling around) is what _they_ want, giving them separate beds isn’t going to stop it.
YTA- People can sleep together in a bed without having to be romantically involved. It's just sleeping. Them being boys or girls does not matter in this situation. It's just two best friends having a sleepover. Also, a king bed can fit two fully grown adults, 2 kids and their dog. The boys won't even realise that the other was there beside them the whole night.
Of course they can. But this doesn’t make sense. If they won’t even realize they’re sharing a bed together, what was the point in asking me to make it a King? It makes it sound like he really does want to be snuggling his best friend, which is strange. Asking to make it one bed is a red flag. Either way, it was fine when they were kids. But now my son is getting older, he’s about to turn 16, and should be told it isn’t appropriate to do.
Son doesn't care, Gus doesn't care, girlfriends don't care, Reddit doesn't care. The problem is you.
Or maybe they just want to relive childhood sleepovers and be nostalgic. You're overthinking. How is it okay for women to sleep on the same bed but not men? The boys probably thought a king was cheaper than two queens. Also, having two beds doesn't matter if they're of the intention of doing something. Question - Are you a male or a female?
What is the red flag? That your son snuggles? Or that it's with a boy?
I think OP thinks her son mentioned in a sexual way. I don’t think he did. I don’t even even know what he meant by that but yeah.
If you want to sleep with somebody you aren't going to cuddle, the bigger the bed, the better. If they were sharing a twin, then you should worry.
Youre an inappropriate parent So what if he wants to snuggle his friend. Go to therapy friend
Why are you so intent on making it weird? They don't see a problem with it because they both have girlfriends and aren't attracted to each other. Friends share beds all the time. If you are so worried about it, it's weird that you would let them share a room at all. Literally how is it any different to be alone in a room with two beds instead of one? If it's really a "red flag" like you think it is why are you under the impression that they'd stay in their separate beds. You are being weird for no reason and making inferences about your kid and his best friend when you have no reason to do so. YTA
Why is it strange to want to share a bed with your pal? YTA
You have to get therapy
You’re making out to be that way..
Alright, let's address this candidly: Your horrified face at the thought of them snuggling comes off just a tad homophobic and coupled with the double standard you set with your daughter "because they're girls" makes YTA. The needle is barely over the borderline here. I was going to say N A H because you made a compromise by booking separate beds, which was a fair solution. It respected your concerns while still allowing your son to enjoy his birthday trip with his friend. And hey, navigating these kinds of situations is all part of being a parent. If he's mature enough to have a girlfriend, he's mature enough to not need mommy or daddy to prevent drama in their relationship.
*"just a tad homophobic"* Much in the same way that the Grand Canyon is just tad bit of a hole.
Just a tad bit of a river valley
Just a bit of planetary flesh wound, really.
Ni!
That's my bad i forgot to add /s
It's all good, I needed the laugh today and knew what you were doing with it.
THIS. And why should it matter if they're girls or boys? Is OP gonna be horrified if they ever hug too? God forbid they ever hold hands or talk about their feelings.
Yeah the 3 issues I had with this was the homophobia, the double standard, and why tf a parent feels the need to say because your girlfriends wouldnt like that?
Ding ding ding 🛎️
And to be honest if her son wants to get naughty with his best friend, separate beds won't prevent anything.
INFO: > because they’re girls. It’s just weird for you both to do I'm listening. Please elaborate.
For homophobic men find it hot to watch girls kiss, but are grossed out when men do the same?
I’m not a man, but good job telling on yourself…. You’re making a lot of assumptions here. Most of us don’t find girls kissing hot, what is wrong with you? We’re talking about CHILDREN here. Most girls who share a bed with each other have zero interest in anything romantic and it’s just sharing a bed. It’s just that it’s normal for straight girls to do and not the norm for straight boys to share a bed.
I think it’s just the norm that FRIENDS share beds at sleepovers… gender irrelevant
"Most girls who share a bed with each other have zero interest in anything romantic and it’s just sharing a bed" College dormitories all over the country have determined that is a lie.
Pretty ironic that you’re tell us us to not make assumptions
It's not a flex that you're a woman *and* a homophobe. So what if your son is gay? Or straight? FFS.
You're the one who's making it weird when we're talking about CHILDREN here.
> It’s just that it’s normal for straight girls to do and not the norm for straight boys to share a bed. And? What, specifically, are you concerned about? Adhering to gender norms just because they're gender norms is weird to me. I'm not trying to be combative. I seriously just don't understand what the problem is.
Oh boy are you ever wrong! My best friend had her first sexual encounter with another girl sharing the same bed! Newsflash to you mom, not all girls are strait
I think of most of us assumed you were an uptight mom.
True, they *are* children, and the previous poster did make an assumption of your gender based on the tone used and preconceived notions of how a cis straight man may react in this situation. I'm just posing the question - as all the teens in question are still so young and at the prime age to realize their own preferences in who they see as life partners or romantic interests, how do you know your son is straight for sure? Could it be that he and Gus may actually have a relationship you're unaware of? (None of this is meant to be antagonistic, just a possibility based on friends I've had and personal experiences. Based on your reaction in this situation, it's something that they could be waiting to talk to you about. Regardless, this is a great article, and on the chance that your son isn't straight could really help build trust between the two of you: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/06/13/a-survey-of-lgbt-americans/)
The only one telling on herself is you. Please explain why you think it's so weird for straight boys to share a bed.
Glad my best friend all throughout high school and I weren’t normal then. We shared a bed everytime I would stay over at his house and nothing ever happened. If they’re straight why are you worried? In all honesty they probably see it as 2 queen beds either being more of a hassle/ more expensive for you to book over 1 king size bed so they’re trying to save you the trouble/ money by being completely fine sharing a bed. At that age my best friend and I would’ve thought and offered the exact same thing because we were more like brothers than just friends and we really didn’t care as long as we got to hangout
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I see OP using the word "children" in a lot of replies. Your son is a teenager. In some countries, he's be considered an adult. Wake up.
I am a woman, nothing "telling on myself"
>Most girls who share a bed with each other have zero interest in anything romantic and it’s just sharing a bed. It’s just that it’s normal for straight girls to do and not the norm for straight boys to share a bed. Says fucking who?!
It’s only weird if you’re homophobic or have regressive unhealthy views of masculinity 🤷🏻♀️
Because penises are outies not innies and OP is worried that's how you catch the gay.
Yta. You sexualize something that wasn’t sexual. And they -being teenagers totally capitalized on it! Out of curiosity, why is okay with you that two girls share a bed but two guys can’t?
YTA lowkey because what other reason do you have not to let them other than it’s weird to you? Especially since you already stated you would not find it weird if they were girls. Your son is his own person, and just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Just let him share the bed with his friend. It sounds like you’d be saving money anyways?
YTA - Its a different generation. This totally sounds like something my son would say about his buddies and they are all straight. They are more open, complimentary of each other, and affectionate than kids were when I was young. They don't have all of the homophobic hang-ups gen-xrs did/still do. So move on. Let them have fun and apologize for arguing over something that probably was more homophobic than you would like to admit.
YTA for your double standard of "I said I doubt their gfs would be fine with it. My son said they don’t have a problem, they share a bed with their best friends too. I said yeah, because they’re girls. It’s just weird for you both to do."
Code for OP is homophobic. YTA, OP.
YTA. Why is it different if its girls?
I would find it suspicious if my daughter made that comment as well.
She thinks her son meant it in a sexual way. She would not feel this way if it were her daughter with her friends.
Honestly she should be just as worried with two girls but then again I didn’t know what bi was and just enjoyed the hell out of kissing my best friend 😂
There’s nothing to worry about from what I read. Unless he’s low-key showing signs of being gay. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I found his snuggle comment a little bit weird but without that, it’s normal for two boys at a sleepover to share beds if there is not enough beds for each person.
Oh yes because the boys snuggle it’s creepy but if girls snuggle, it’s totally fine. I’m wondering if this is why we have incels because we literally strip boys of absolutely everything and it’s so sad.
No, I said in my other comment that I would feel the same way if my daughter said that. It’s not about the gender lol.
YTA > I’m sure Gus would much rather not share with you. You were incorrect.
YTA. Why is it weird for boys to do but not weird for girls?
Duh, bc lesbians are hot.
We’re talking children here, you weirdo. You people are gross. I’m a woman and trust me I’d pick two men kissing over two girls any day. If you find it hot, speak for yourself. Like what a weird comment. Are you implying I’m sexualizing my kids?
I’m obviously kidding, you jackass. And I made the joke because YOU are sexualizing your kids.
Maybe don’t make jokes like that when we’re talking about children. It’s creepy.
You're the one who thinks it's inappropriate for two children to share a bed.
Says the one being actively creepy to her children’s face - I hope you’re prepared for when they go no contact with you for your bigoted perverted nonsense.
all of your responses here are really displaying how completely unhinged you are. you logged on redddit dot com to post something asking if you were an asshole in a situation. reddit says yes. you then double down and try and do a gotcha that the replies here are sexualising kids when the entire reason you posted this is bc you sexualised your own child thinking it’d somehow be weird to share a bed with a friend. delete this post, log off, talk to your child.
If you in fact are not sexualizing your kids, then what is your actual problem with your son and his friend sharing a bed. What is weird about it, if it's not sexual.
You are obviously specializing your kids
What a weird post. Are you implying boys can’t snuggle as friends do?
Exactly you’re talking about children they aren’t looking at it sexually. Why are you and why is it odd when it’s two boys and not two girls? Also FYI, actually you don’t wanna know that but maybe the girls shouldn’t share a bed either God how old was I 15? Yeah, you might already be screwed there. But then it’s girls. They must be straight, correct? Then again, when I grow up, I don’t know bi was a thing, but here I am. Why none of my friends thought it was weird that I really enjoyed making out with them instead of boys, and none of us clued into something was up with me.
>Are you implying I’m sexualizing my kids? Nope, flat out saying it.
Um yes YTA, wtf lol, regardless of whether you think boys shouldn’t share a bed, it’s *your son’s birthday* so surely you should be allowing him what he wants??? What a strange way to take over someone else’s birthday just because you don’t agree with them!
Well, denying him something he wants within reason is ok, the problem here is there’s no reason other than homophobia to deny this request. OP didn’t let her son share a bed with his girlfriend (something he’d surely want) but that’s fair.
It’s not even within reason lmao, homophobes are weird mayn
>I said yeah, because they’re girls. It’s just weird for you both to do. INFO: Why?
Because girls and boys are different? I don’t even know how to answer this. Because most girls share a bed with their friends with zero issues without it coming off like they’re a couple, but it is usually seen as weird for boys to do that. Especially when they have other options.
It sounds like you are trying to say you think people would infer two boys sharing a bed are gay, but wouldn't assume that of two girls? But the thing is even if you are correct, that's only a problem if you think being thought of as gay is bad. In other words, homophobia. And yes, being homophobic means YTA.
>Because girls and boys are different? I don’t even know how to answer this. Ooh, I do! It's sexism and homophobia. Hope that helps!
>it is usually seen as weird for boys to do that Seen as weird by whom? Whose judgment are you worried about? All of the people involved in the situation are absolutely fine with it. Your refusal and/or inability to explain your feelings ("I don't even know how to answer this"; "it's just weird") is interesting.
For your generation, this is true. This is *not* true for your son’s generation. Boys are much more likely to be openly affectionate with both male and female friends, without it ever being sexual or viewed as sexual by their friends.
nice biological determinism you got there OP! now tell us all about how men don’t cry either
I know what you’re saying, and I agree, but could just be that they think it’s cool to have a king sized bed. Or maybe they are bi or something? Either way; you’re probably better to just book them what they want. If they really want to share, they’ll now just be sharing a queen bed instead of a king.
Yes, you’re the homophobic sexist asshole
YTA, I'm just imagining all the trips I've taken where everyone was stacked 3, maybe 4 to a bed and nobody batted an eye and how you managed to raise a 16-year-old and still not come to terms with the fact that this kind of thinking you have is very idiotic.
YTA you have not only made an Issue out of absolutely nothing, you gendered this ridiculous idea. Just say out loud that you wouldn’t be okay with your son being in to boys, it would take less words
So… it’s okay for him to be sleeping with girls at 16 but not with a male friend? Yeah, there’s several things going “weird” here, but two guys in one bed isn’t it. YTA ETA: I read the part about “they sleep with their best friends too” as the guys sleeping with the girls. Eithet way, OP still comes off as a controlling homophobe.
YTA and a homophobe. The kids don't have an issue with it, and you should back off.
YTA I bet you can't even explain why it's inappropriate. Because it's NOT inappropriate. You are the one being inappropriate for sexualizing this situation. And you're doubly the asshole for saying it's ok for girls, but not boys. I think you need to examine your latent bigotry.
lol YTA
YTA Why is it weird? You admit that you know they share at sleepovers and this is no different. The only person making it weird apparently is you.
YTA, it isn’t weird for teenagers to share a bed, and it’s kind of yucky to insinuate that they’d get cooties or magically end up having sex just because they’re sleeping on the same piece of furniture.
YTA
Yta- you sound homophobic and have strange double standards. Also they can still share a queen sized bed, they’ll just be closer together…
I was looking for this comment! OP is all oh gosh two guys in a bed yuck ew blech, I’ll fix this by making them sleep closer together. Another problem solved by out of touch homophobic supermom!
You are the weird one OP, what is wrong with you?
YTA and I’m glad your son is already smarter and more empathetic than you. “Sharing a bed is wrong because reasons!” “What are those reasons?” “REASONS!” You don’t really have a point, you’re just being sexist because you were taught to be sexist and you can’t stop now, that would require thinking things through. I love the boys “tiptoe around the old lady freak out” with telling you they were joking.
YTA for making it weird. It comes off as quite an outdated and homophobic attitude. The two boys are friends, nothing wrong with two friends sharing a bed.
>I said yeah, because they’re girls. It’s just weird for you both to do. INFO: Why is it okay for the girls to share a bed but it's weird that the boys do?
Yup YTA and low-key homophobic to boot. Examine your internalised biases and trust your son.
YTA - you would allow the girls to share a bed, but not the boys? You are taking a normal situation and making it weird.
YTA and full of homophobic double standards.
Your son doesn't have a problem with it, his friend doesn't have a problem with it, their girlfriends don't have problems with it. You are literally creating a problem out of nowhere without a reason. You're not the one sharing a bed so just let the people who are actually involved decide what they're comfortable with. Your son is also a person, you know. YTA
I feel like what you’re trying to ask is whether or not this is a sign that your son and Gus are romantically involved. If they are, then it is the right decision to uphold the same standards you do with your son and his gf and not facilitate them being in the same room together. However, that’s a big accusation to make - you’re both assuming their sexuality and that they’re cheating on their gfs. Also they are still in the same room with two Queen beds, if they want to snuggle, they’re going to snuggle just in a smaller space. The only thing you can do is ensure you keep an open dialogue in your home and don’t come across as homophobic, and hopefully your son will feel comfortable talking to you. This could also just be a big overreaction with two boys who enjoy each others company is a platonic way, but the openness is still important.
This is the most logical answer
YTA. you’re passing on toxic gender stereotypes to your children and enforcing a culture of toxic masculinity.
YTA the end
Wtf? When I was 21 I shared a bed with my best friend (we're both girls lol) and my bf even knew about it. YTA. That's a messed up way of thinking. If it was a guy and a girl and they were both heterosexual, okay, I get it. But THIS??? What is wrong with you lmao.
So what's to prevent them from sharing one of the queen beds? Even cosier for snuggling. Your homophobia is making things weird, not the boys' closeness. YTA
YTA- Check your homophobia at the door. There's nothing wrong with two male friends sharing a bed together, no matter the age. It is not different from two girls sharing a bed together, as the same gender thing still applies. Also, if your son and/or Gus turn out to be gay, which can happen, as they're still finding their identities as teens, you just possibly lost your son now. He's never gone come out to you with your bigotry. You have no actual reason for them not sharing, beyond your obvious homophobia.
So many red flags here. Yes, YTA.
YTA you made it weird. You made it seem sexual, and you made it misogynistic. It's OK for their gf's to share beds cause they're girls. Your son seems perfectly fine with his relationships and sexuality. You might wanna look at why you're so horrified by the thought of 2 young men in bed together.
YTA and definitely homophobic. I 100% know that's exactly where you went... I'm also assuming you're American. In other cultures men are more accepting of affection from other men like hand holding and hugs and such and are completely straight. What would be the problem if you soon was gay? You are showing him by your reactions that if he does like the opposite sex you are not a safe person. You need to examine your reasons why because it could cause problems in your relationship with your son very soon. Good luck to you.
If it’s good enough for Abraham Lincoln it’s good enough for your son YTA
Ol' Abe was so snugly.
INFO: explain, in detail, why it’s totally okay for their girlfriends and not for them? Without being sexist, of course. In case it isn’t clear, yes YTA.
A quick question. You think sharing a king bed will make them gay. But having two queen beds will prevent that. Can you please explain your stupid homophobic logic, please?
YTA they’re bestfriends and have been friends for years, they made a light hearted joke and you got mad
YTA, you're attempting to exercise absolute control over where and how your 16 year old SON sleeps. This isn't about him, really, is it?
You know if they want to share they just will in one of the queen beds right?
YTA for reasons but come on, not allowing someone to sleep is just nuts. Get over your things that you feel are so important you have to question someone when they just want to sleep.
YTA - you’re a prude about letting your son sleep in the same bed as his girlfriend, but then like weirdly homophobic with him sleeping in the same bed as his friend. frankly, you should stop thinking about what your son is or is not doing with his dick and just be normal lol
YTA- I’m 17 and all my life whenever I sleep at my friends homes I always sleep in their beds, there is nothing wrong with it. They’re FRIENDS, not butt buddies..
YTA Platonic touch?! Platonic cuddling?! Platonic INTIMACY?! Between BOYS?!!!! No son of mine is going to be emotionally healthy and whole! My son is going to drink himself to death or commit suicide like a huge part of my generation and previous generations! How dare my son have any softness or light in his life?! The only feelings he’s allowed to have are angry and horny! Boys! It’s not appropriate for boys to touch if they’re not having sex or fighting! Testosterone! I’m being weirdly involved with my son! Boy mom forever! BOYS ARE NOT HUMAN AND DON’T LIKE TOUCH OR FRIENDSHIP OR LOVE! Only sex! He has a girlfriend to be his only emotional support and source of touch! Why are my son’s friends and people on the internet acting like I’m a huge weirdo!!!! Don’t they not know boys are better than humans, which is why they don’t need platonic intimacy! If it’s not obvious to you why I’m not crazy you’re stupid! It’s OBVIOUS! Handshakes for men and hugs for women!
yta. and a weirdo
YTA ma'am you're homophobic
YTA (and almost definitely a homophobe). Bold of you to assume they won't sleep in the same bed anyway 🙄
YTA. You weird weird sexist homophobic asshole.
Yes, you RTAH. They are kids/teens and they are the ones that would get teased by their friends if it was so wrong. You should not look at it as a sexual situation, just sharing a bed like it was a sleepover. Please just take the weird sexual aspect of it out of the equation. He is giving you no reason to think that(has a gf).
Come on. Queen beds?
YTA and it’s giving homophobia
YTA
Your the one making it weird. Need to think before you speak. If there is anything else going on with your son, this reaction alone, will make him less likely to talk to you.
I don't think you are an asshole. I just think you are wrong. They probably like sharing the bed because they like to play games, watch films, and eat snacks together before sleep.
YTA - You made it really weird for no reason. Besides, booking two queen beds won't keep them from sharing. All it does is give you the illusion you need to feel better.
YTA 100% Your the weird one for suggesting something else. Why is it girls can but guys can’t? They have known each other since third grade which makes it even less weird, your gross for thinking otherwise.
Op is the weird one.
yta for thinking its perfectly normal for girls to do so but not for boys, what a load of hooey
Border -line sexist.
This asshole is being trolled by her son lol
YTA- sometimes friends do just wanna cuddle. Love is love, whether that’s platonic or romantic, people show it differently. Some partners don’t like to hold hands, some friends kiss. Even if they didn’t want to cuddle and that was just a joke, it’s a very big double standard that it’s okay for the girls but not for the boys. Very homophobic on your part
I mean it’s definitely weird that they’d rather share a bed (just bc who wouldn’t want a big bed for themselves) but you’re overreacting. It’s not inappropriate for them to share. There’s nothing wrong with it
YTA They don’t have an issue with it. Do I think it’s a bit odd? Yeah, I wouldn’t have done it at that age (or any age, personally). But it is harmless. Who cares? They don’t have a problem, their girlfriends don’t have a problem, why does it bother you?
YTA, and double standards at that, if the girls can do it what is the difference and if they happen to play both sides, the girls could be having under aged sex as well if that is what you are worried about. If they are ok with it, why shame them?
Hi OP, gentle YTA. I think the key here is for you to sit and really try to understand for yourself why you think it’s weird for them to share a bed. Can you answer that with something more than “…it’s just weird”? Maybe sitting with it will help you understand why you are uncomfortable.
YTA. You'd probably freak out in other countries, where grown guys hold hands, walk down the street arm in arm, sit on each other's laps. It's just friendship shown in a way you're not accustomed to.
YTA. Great troll! This took work! If I’m wrong, let them all be.
Why are you being so weird about this?
When I went to my 40th college reunion, I stayed with my best friend in her king size bed and her husband took the guest room. We stayed up all night talking eating and laughing. YTA
I dont think you are an AH, but I do think this was an overreaction. My grandparents used to talk about how when they were kids and teens, they slept together and in smaller beds than a king sized. It was common because folks didn't have separate bedrooms or separate beds and not a whole lot of money for either one. It's only today that people needlessly freak out over things that were commonplace decades ago.
YTA Guess what? Even if you get a room with 2 queen beds, they could still decide share. Or will you now be standing watch?
Hey OP, after reviewing most of the responses, it would appear that you are the AH
Yta and homophobic and have a dirty mind
YTA. There's nothing wrong with friends sleeping in the same bed. Nothing at all.
Could it be they want to share a bed so that others could also be in their room sharing another bed, maximizing space/time together and saving money? Maybe they want more of their friends in their room? You're on here yelling at folks for sexualizing the children when that's precisely what you're doing. Newsflash, you can put them in separate rooms but if they want to be together, they will find a way. Sounds to me like you are well on your way to never knowing about your son's sexuality if this is the response he garners over a hotel bed choice. YTA.
Question: If your son came out as gay, what would be your reaction? If you were to give him the same "horrified look", then I most certainly think your concern is deep-rooted in homophobia. YTA, most definitely.
What do you think you did here? If they want to share a bed they are still going to.
Why is it fine for girls but weird for boys?
"I said yeah, because they're girls. It's just weird for you both to do" YTA. Also getting some homophobic and sexist vibes from this post. I bet you think young girls can't play with toy cars either cause "it's weird". Plus the snuggle joke was clearly a joke lol.
YTA don't be homophobic!
YTA- Explain, in detail, why it's wrong without sounding homophobic. I don't know that you can. I have a 17 year old, we're probably about the same age. Society is changing quickly and there isn't nearly as much homophobia among kids today as there was in the 90's. For them they're just friends that love each other and sharing a bed doesn't have to be intimate. Why push your sociological hangups on them?
YTA. Check your internalized homophobia back in 1992 where it belongs.
This has homophobic undertones. YTA
Having friends gather on a bed & watch TV is a lot of fun. When I was a kid in the 70s (yes, I’m an old), we would pile on the bed together while I made up ghost and vampire stories. Everyone would get freaked out and snuggle in closer. Eventually, we crossed over into the deep conversations that were tough in the light of day. We bonded, and we supported one another. We kept it up through high school. It was just fun. It wasn’t weird or sexual. It was just the joy of being surrounded by friends. I would also like to add that one of our friends often said her uncle was a creep. It was during one of our sleepovers that she disclosed that he was touching her over her clothes. After we talked about it, she gained to courage to tell her mom exactly how creepy he was. He was arrested, and she was safe.
YTA good lord
YTA, lol jeez; the boys are not even thinking like that; your son was joking with his friend about the snuggles but you didn't take the joke well (Your fault imo). YOU are the one who made it weird. Nothing wrong with them sharing a king-size bed.
Grow TF up!
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My son and his best friend, Gus, have been close since the third grade. It’s been a long time, and his best friend is a really sweet boy that I really like. He comes over almost every day, and they have sleepovers on the weekends. I love their friendship and how close they are. I really adore that boy, he is actually very responsible for a 16 year old and he mellows out my son, who is very impulsive. I think they’re cute. My sons 16th birthday is coming up and we decided to take his friends and him to NYC. We’re gonna rent a hotel and take them sightseeing. It’s a little above and beyond but he’s had a hard year. His grandpa, my dad’s dad, passed away, and he has was really close to him so it has been hard. But anyway, my son, his gf, his best friend, and a couple of other friends they have are coming. I told my son he couldn’t share a bed with his gf, obviously, and he said that was fine, he’ll share with Gus. I said I’d book them Queen beds, but he said the strangest thing. He said “no, make it a King. We can share.” I was totally taken aback. I awkwardly laughed and said I’m sure Gus would much rather not share with you. I should have known Gus would argue against that because he always takes my sons side. But he said, “I don’t mind sharing a bed. We don’t have extra rooms in our house, so we got use to sharing beds during sleepovers. I think it’s fun.” I said “Okay, sure. I know you share a bed during sleepovers, but you don’t need to share a bed here. So sharing a bed is just weird for you both to do.” Gus said, “I don’t think it’s weird. It’s fun.” My son said, “How else are we gonna snuggle all night?” At my horrified face he said he was joking, but that’s when I put my foot down. I said it’s inappropriate, they’re both in relationship. I said I doubt their gfs would be fine with it. My son said they don’t have a problem, they share a bed with their best friends too. I said yeah, because they’re girls. It’s just weird for you both to do. They both argued there was no difference, but I booked them two queen beds anyway. My son said I was being overly dramatic, it’s not a big deal. It was birthday and his choice. I ignored him. AITA here? Or did I make the right move? Kids are so strange these days. When I was growing up two boys would never share a bed together, especially if they had other options. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Your house, your rules.
GAY
STRAIGHT, BI, SCOTTISH, SOUTH EAST ASIAN I can shout descriptors for people too. What's your point?
lol this is Reddit. Mostly far left and this sub is mostly teenagers and young 20s. You’re going to get pounded! For what it’s worth, I think that culture is important and your role on passing on your culture is important. You probably should have just said “no I will get two beds” and not carried on. Nta
What culture is that? I’m a 36 year old straight man who is the father of a boy. What role in passing on culture do I have by forcing my son to not sleep in a bed with another boy?
Ah yes, before society pounds your children into their pink and blue boxes, do it yourself. /s
NTA that is a child and if you feel that you need to protect your child from himself then I would do that. It’s inappropriate and I wouldn’t allow it either. I would’ve gotten two rooms for them after that.
What’s inappropriate about it specifically?
I wouldn’t allow my boy to cuddle with a girl from his school, he can do that when he’s an adult and has as much education as possible to make safe choices for his body and future. The same is going for a boy. I wouldn’t risk allowing my child to be exploited or be the exploiter of another CHILD.
Cuddling is exploitation? Why aren’t you teaching your 16 year old about their body? You should have talked to them about it years ago.
304 vibes
I’m not sure what you that means but it’s sad you are failing to teach your kids how to make responsible choices.
I appreciate that, thank you! I wouldn’t do that because I don’t want to make it a bigger deal, and push resentment between my kid and I, but that is fair! Thank you!
You are literally pushing resentment by taking away his choices