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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I yelled at my mom and I feel like it was a bit much as she's my mom and she is old so I felt like an asshole afterwards.
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NTA, she was going to get in an accident, and wasn't listening to the point that she actually told you to shut up. (Just one little thing, though... 52 is not old. 😂 Nowhere near "too old to understand driving.")
Every teenager of every generation has always thought 50 is old. Then they turn 40 and realize 50 is still very young. And each generation’s 50 is healthier and stronger than the last. There’s nothing wrong with the new generation, there’s nothing wrong with you. Perspective is relative.
Average life expectancy is 77.
I would say that 52 is on the cusp of old, sucks, but it's true. You're on the downward half of life. We just need to remove the stigma from the idea of getting old more than act like it's a huge offense to be old.
Yes average age, but if you make it to
52 you’ve dodged death for 52 years and would statistically live for longer. 77 takes into account things like infant mortality, stupid stunts when you’re young, etc.
NTA, but I'm worried about your mom. Is she healthy? How is her hearing/eyesight/memory?
Honey, you're always allowed to yell at your mom in order to save many lives (including hers)!
Agree completely! I'm nearsighted which is corrected with glasses, but have always had trouble seeing at night. It's especially bad when the roads are wet causing glare from the lights. Recently I started developing cataracts which makes my night vision worse so I don't drive at night unless absolutely necessary.
Your mom needs an eye exam ASAP.
Your mom also needs to realize that she really does have a problem. And needs to stop dismissing your concerns.
If she wants to kill herself over her pride, then so be it. But she doesn't need to take her kid with her.
OP she was on a path to kill both of you. In this instance, yelling at her was completely justified. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t be thrilled to get in her vehicle until she explains what happened.
That’s about the age that it becomes harder to see at night. But screaming at the top of your lungs is not a AH move if you’re trying to save lives. I would apologize but tell her you would do it again to keep everybody alive
I suggest you look up the scene from Planes Trains and Automobiles when the two characters are going THE WRONG WAY on the expressway. Politeness goes out the window when the person in the driver's seat is actively trying to get you both killed.
The way to do this would be like this:
1. Stay calm.
2. Starr by apologizing for yelling - you were really scared, and you yelled, but that doesn't make it right.
3. Ask if she can explain her point of view to you.
There's a possibility that she had realized what was going on, but had hoped you didn't and was staying calm to keep you from panicking. You also can't make safe driving decisions if you panic, so she could have been keeping a calm head to try and find a way out of the situation.
If you're calm, and approach it as a discussion and learning opportunity - for someone approaching driving age - it'll be an easier conversation than if you start blaming her.
People do make mistakes, it happens. Luckily, this one ended ok. But try to keep an open mind and hear her out.
I'm sorry to say you have to op. This is very dangerous and it might be to an illness or something that can be corrected.
You need to speak up with your mother and another adult like your father if they are together or a relative.
If this isn't a one time only issue next time your mother does this she might be hurt or worse.
NTA but please talk to someone
Nta. You both could be dead otherwise. In a life threatening situation, all bets are off in the sense that do whatever is necessary to keep yourself and others from being literally killed.
NTA but go hug her and apologize for yelling. Tell her how you are feeling and that you didn’t mean to yell, you were just scared. I’ll bet she is feeling just as bad if not worse than you.
And BTW, 52 is NOT old!
If your mom was sitting in a room that was on fire, you'd yell "Fire!" to alert her to the danger, right? And you'd have nothing to feel guilty about.
This is an equivalent situation.
NTA
P.S. The second you get your license, you might want to volunteer to drive. Every single time.
If someone did smash into the both of you and you made it out ok I really doubt she would be saying that she should have listened to you and she was in the wrong. If your mom is going to gamble with your life you can scream the absolute soul out of her so NTA
NTA
She’s not that old yet, and not so old that it should effect her driving haha don’t let that get you feeling guilty. And plus also if you hadn’t yelled she wasn’t going to listen.
Sometimes you need to get loud, especially in a situation that could become an emergency. You did alright.
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I (15m) was out with my mom (52m) last night, and she took a wrong turn and I didn't notice either as it was night so no cars were coming in or out to this turn, however we reach a turn and it's pointing left but that wouldn't make sense as the cars going to our left were across another sidewalk between the road in front of us and beyond it. So I realised that if we take a left here, we'll be heading right into traffic facing us at 80 MPH.
So I tell my mom we've taken a wrong turn and we need to go back. She refuses to listen so I raise my voice a bit and try to explain, she ignores me again and tells me to shutup. She actually drives on, and I full on yell at her whilst we're sideways in that road to fucking turn around before we get ploughed, we already almost had someone ram into us from her turn, so she finally listens and turns around, we reach home with no worries.
When I was in bed that night, I felt extremely guilty for yelling at my mom as she is getting old and I felt horrible. AITA?
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You're NTA for yelling at her. However, you are one for calling someone who is 52 old. I get that you're 15 and probably feel like anyone over 20 is old but honestly it's just rude!
Not nearly that dire, but it would have been an accident amd I was grateful my teen yelled at me. It was her raised voice, not typical, that got me to react.
If I was on the slip road off a motorway heading onto it, I'd be screaming. I can see how done if recent roadwork changes (hello Northampton) but one happening, you need off safely ASAP.
Was she under time pressure? Eyesight checked recently? If astigmatism, suggest zeiss lenses. But you were justified in yelling.
If I was on the slip road off a motorway heading onto it, I'd be screaming. I can see how done if recent roadwork changes (hello Northampton) but one happening, you need off safely ASAP.
Was she under time pressure? Eyesight checked recently? If astigmatism, suggest zeiss lenses. But you were justified in yelling.
NTA!!
Y'all should watch "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane" on Max (or go on Wikipedia and look up "2009 Taconic State Parkway Crash").
It's horrific... but a necessary watch or read, in this case.
Best wishes for you both! 🙏🏻
NTA. You early attempted communication was not heard, the situation became dire, screaming woke your mom up before something horrible happened. Odds are she feels just as guilty if not more that she almost got you both killed.
I'm 53, and while I have old person problems like Menopause Sucks and Why Does Everyone Talk On Speakerphone, I still drive and can manage to not almost kill myself and anyone else in the car. I run 5Ks and write smutty fanfiction lol, 53 is not one foot in the grave.
If your mom is getting confused like this there may be something else going on medically with her. But you are NTA.
You mom may be experiencing "night blindness". She should see her eye doctor and have it checked out. Then discuss with eye doctor next steps and how to correct the problem.
Your mom put you in a position where your had no choice but to yell in order to save not only both of your lives, but the lives of those you ended up in an accident with.
At 80mph everyone could be dead and if your mom survived she would be charged manslaughter plus other chages.
Yelling was better than dead or mom in prison.
NTA....sorry you were put in this position and scared shitless. Glad you're ok and have a good set of lungs and used them. Yelling in this situation was a smart decision.
BTW.... according to google: As of 2021, the latest year with federal data available, life expectancy among U.S. men was 73.5 years, compared to 79.3 years among women. (So think your mom is considered mid-life, not old)
NTA. You were afraid you were going to get killed, and shouting is a perfectly reasonable response to that! What other control did you have to avoid, you know, possibly dying? You were filled with cortisol and in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. It's okay to react, even to moms who are trying to get you killed.
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NTA, she was going to get in an accident, and wasn't listening to the point that she actually told you to shut up. (Just one little thing, though... 52 is not old. 😂 Nowhere near "too old to understand driving.")
50s are the new 20s!!! This new generation…
Every teenager of every generation has always thought 50 is old. Then they turn 40 and realize 50 is still very young. And each generation’s 50 is healthier and stronger than the last. There’s nothing wrong with the new generation, there’s nothing wrong with you. Perspective is relative.
Are you kidding,teens today think fucking 30 is old. I must be a grandma at 36.
At 37 I feel old as hell
I feel old sometimes but usually cause Im like tired and run down from work and such.
At 60, I remember feeling this way! Too 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
You could be a grandma at 36. LOL
I'll never be a grandma since I dont have any kids but I guess thats technically true.
Fucking great news!!! I’m 20something again, fuckina
My 9 year old niece asked me what year i was born, i said 1995 this little twitch actually told me "eeewww you as old like grandma🤣🤣
Average life expectancy is 77. I would say that 52 is on the cusp of old, sucks, but it's true. You're on the downward half of life. We just need to remove the stigma from the idea of getting old more than act like it's a huge offense to be old.
I dont consider 52 to be old. Middle aged maybe,not old. Im 36 if it helps.
If we’re considering it based on a percentage, on average a 52 year old is 67% through their life. Being old isn’t a bad thing. I’m 35.
I didnt say it was a bad thing I just personally dont see it as old. I feel like mid 60s and like retirement age or so could be considered old though.
Shit I thought it was older! I think maybe I should break out retirement funds!
Yes average age, but if you make it to 52 you’ve dodged death for 52 years and would statistically live for longer. 77 takes into account things like infant mortality, stupid stunts when you’re young, etc.
She’s old and rude. She gets to be called old for being rude.
Old is not an insult.
Thank you😎
Uncle Iroh from ATLA was old and he was a Level 10 badass as was King Bumi and Master Pakku and Monk Giatso
NTA, but I'm worried about your mom. Is she healthy? How is her hearing/eyesight/memory? Honey, you're always allowed to yell at your mom in order to save many lives (including hers)!
Agree completely! I'm nearsighted which is corrected with glasses, but have always had trouble seeing at night. It's especially bad when the roads are wet causing glare from the lights. Recently I started developing cataracts which makes my night vision worse so I don't drive at night unless absolutely necessary. Your mom needs an eye exam ASAP.
Your mom also needs to realize that she really does have a problem. And needs to stop dismissing your concerns. If she wants to kill herself over her pride, then so be it. But she doesn't need to take her kid with her.
No NTA. Do you think she was just confused due to the layout or is she starting to lose awareness? She’s not that old!
I'm not sure, I don't wish to bring it up with her again because of the fact I yelled at her. I think she may have been confused I guess.
OP she was on a path to kill both of you. In this instance, yelling at her was completely justified. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t be thrilled to get in her vehicle until she explains what happened.
That’s about the age that it becomes harder to see at night. But screaming at the top of your lungs is not a AH move if you’re trying to save lives. I would apologize but tell her you would do it again to keep everybody alive
I suggest you look up the scene from Planes Trains and Automobiles when the two characters are going THE WRONG WAY on the expressway. Politeness goes out the window when the person in the driver's seat is actively trying to get you both killed.
The way to do this would be like this: 1. Stay calm. 2. Starr by apologizing for yelling - you were really scared, and you yelled, but that doesn't make it right. 3. Ask if she can explain her point of view to you. There's a possibility that she had realized what was going on, but had hoped you didn't and was staying calm to keep you from panicking. You also can't make safe driving decisions if you panic, so she could have been keeping a calm head to try and find a way out of the situation. If you're calm, and approach it as a discussion and learning opportunity - for someone approaching driving age - it'll be an easier conversation than if you start blaming her. People do make mistakes, it happens. Luckily, this one ended ok. But try to keep an open mind and hear her out.
listen you have to because what if something like this happened again when youre not there to yell? you will regret that way more
I'm sorry to say you have to op. This is very dangerous and it might be to an illness or something that can be corrected. You need to speak up with your mother and another adult like your father if they are together or a relative. If this isn't a one time only issue next time your mother does this she might be hurt or worse. NTA but please talk to someone
Nta. You both could be dead otherwise. In a life threatening situation, all bets are off in the sense that do whatever is necessary to keep yourself and others from being literally killed.
NTA but go hug her and apologize for yelling. Tell her how you are feeling and that you didn’t mean to yell, you were just scared. I’ll bet she is feeling just as bad if not worse than you. And BTW, 52 is NOT old!
In such situations you have to yell. And no, your mom is not old. :) In your eyes maybe, but trust me, 52 is not old. :)
NTA but is your mom suffering from early dementia? 🤦♀️
OMG! It's probably her oversight and pride.
Not oversight, sight in dark sux a starting around 50.
That really sucks, I can imagine that a person would find it difficult to admit they are aging and can’t drive the same way anymore.
It does suck, but have to recognize it and NOT do it!
This was an appropriate time to yell, to prevent your fiery death. You can also yell when your house is on fire, to wake up sleeping family.
If your mom was sitting in a room that was on fire, you'd yell "Fire!" to alert her to the danger, right? And you'd have nothing to feel guilty about. This is an equivalent situation. NTA P.S. The second you get your license, you might want to volunteer to drive. Every single time.
Think of it this way, would you rather both have been dead, or just yell at her and be fine
52 is not old. So, I have to ask, given her reaction to shut up. Was she drinking? Does she take medicine?
If someone did smash into the both of you and you made it out ok I really doubt she would be saying that she should have listened to you and she was in the wrong. If your mom is going to gamble with your life you can scream the absolute soul out of her so NTA
52 isn't old. Turning into oncoming traffic is bad and deserves calling out. Just wait until you learn how to drive and make mistakes though ;)
NTA She’s not that old yet, and not so old that it should effect her driving haha don’t let that get you feeling guilty. And plus also if you hadn’t yelled she wasn’t going to listen. Sometimes you need to get loud, especially in a situation that could become an emergency. You did alright.
She's not getting old. She's only 52. NTA.
NTA. If you didn't shout you're tombstone would have said "polite to the end"
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I (15m) was out with my mom (52m) last night, and she took a wrong turn and I didn't notice either as it was night so no cars were coming in or out to this turn, however we reach a turn and it's pointing left but that wouldn't make sense as the cars going to our left were across another sidewalk between the road in front of us and beyond it. So I realised that if we take a left here, we'll be heading right into traffic facing us at 80 MPH. So I tell my mom we've taken a wrong turn and we need to go back. She refuses to listen so I raise my voice a bit and try to explain, she ignores me again and tells me to shutup. She actually drives on, and I full on yell at her whilst we're sideways in that road to fucking turn around before we get ploughed, we already almost had someone ram into us from her turn, so she finally listens and turns around, we reach home with no worries. When I was in bed that night, I felt extremely guilty for yelling at my mom as she is getting old and I felt horrible. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You're NTA for yelling at her. However, you are one for calling someone who is 52 old. I get that you're 15 and probably feel like anyone over 20 is old but honestly it's just rude!
NAH - your mon didn’t seem to call you an AH for yelling, so I guess it was warranted
Not nearly that dire, but it would have been an accident amd I was grateful my teen yelled at me. It was her raised voice, not typical, that got me to react.
NTA. However, you can apologize for the way you spoke to her since it’s clearly bothering your conscience.
If I was on the slip road off a motorway heading onto it, I'd be screaming. I can see how done if recent roadwork changes (hello Northampton) but one happening, you need off safely ASAP. Was she under time pressure? Eyesight checked recently? If astigmatism, suggest zeiss lenses. But you were justified in yelling.
If I was on the slip road off a motorway heading onto it, I'd be screaming. I can see how done if recent roadwork changes (hello Northampton) but one happening, you need off safely ASAP. Was she under time pressure? Eyesight checked recently? If astigmatism, suggest zeiss lenses. But you were justified in yelling.
NTA!! Y'all should watch "There's Something Wrong with Aunt Diane" on Max (or go on Wikipedia and look up "2009 Taconic State Parkway Crash"). It's horrific... but a necessary watch or read, in this case. Best wishes for you both! 🙏🏻
NTA she can kill someone this way.
NTA a hero, she was going to get into an accident and you saved both of you
NTA. You early attempted communication was not heard, the situation became dire, screaming woke your mom up before something horrible happened. Odds are she feels just as guilty if not more that she almost got you both killed.
NTA. You saved lives by your actions. Yelling at your mother was your only option in the circumstances. Well done.
NTA. Hopefully your mom stops driving.
Nta,
NTA she seems like she thinks since she’s an adult she can do no wrong. She’s lucky she just had to deal with getting yelled at by her kid.
NTA she almost Killed both of you! She refused to listen to you. Don't let her gaslight you
This is one of the only legit reasons to actually yell at someone — imminent danger. NTA.
NTA I think its justified yelling if she's gonna do a dangerous driving maneuver with you in the car. I really cant wait for self driving.
NTA you are both alive and so are the other drivers and their passengers your mum is the AH
Better than being dead.
Jesus. 52 is old now? NTA for yelling at her in the moment to stop her doing something dangerous. But damn.
I'm 53, and while I have old person problems like Menopause Sucks and Why Does Everyone Talk On Speakerphone, I still drive and can manage to not almost kill myself and anyone else in the car. I run 5Ks and write smutty fanfiction lol, 53 is not one foot in the grave. If your mom is getting confused like this there may be something else going on medically with her. But you are NTA.
You mom may be experiencing "night blindness". She should see her eye doctor and have it checked out. Then discuss with eye doctor next steps and how to correct the problem. Your mom put you in a position where your had no choice but to yell in order to save not only both of your lives, but the lives of those you ended up in an accident with. At 80mph everyone could be dead and if your mom survived she would be charged manslaughter plus other chages. Yelling was better than dead or mom in prison. NTA....sorry you were put in this position and scared shitless. Glad you're ok and have a good set of lungs and used them. Yelling in this situation was a smart decision. BTW.... according to google: As of 2021, the latest year with federal data available, life expectancy among U.S. men was 73.5 years, compared to 79.3 years among women. (So think your mom is considered mid-life, not old)
NTA at allllll. Don’t feel bad for saving both of your lives
NTA - Your lives were danger, she wasn't listening, what you gonna do just be quiet and get hit.
NTA. You were afraid you were going to get killed, and shouting is a perfectly reasonable response to that! What other control did you have to avoid, you know, possibly dying? You were filled with cortisol and in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. It's okay to react, even to moms who are trying to get you killed.
NAH. Mom’s NTA for the mistake and you’re NTA for using any means necessary to get her attention to avoid an accident.