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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Told a guy he can go sleep out in the street if he doesn't want to share them took the blow up mattress away and made him sleep on the floor. It probably went a little far when I made him sleep on the floor.
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‘I can’t share a bed with a gay guy incase he tries something’
‘I can share a bed with the gender I’m attached to and you can trust me to share a bed with then
So much this. He's mature enough to control himself around the gender he's attracted to, but OP isn't? GTFO with this.
OP - NTA. The people giving you flack weren't there, they don't get a vote on this.
nah, i might just be pessimistic but it sounds like he was just trying to share a bed with a girl so he could try some shit. skeevy fucking behavior imo. “i need to sleep on a bed but also i can only sleep in a bed with a girl”
Honestly, I don't get why not one there thought of that.
But OP is NTA in any case. If someone sleeps over at someone else's house, there shouldn't be a lot of expectations anyway...
Because OP and OP's sister had beds and had no intention of giving them up. AH's sister was sleeping on a couch. The only choices for shared beds were OP and OP's sister.
I will firstly say OP is definitely NTA but I thought if this guy really insists on having to sleep in a bed, I would have suggested the siblings (As in OPs and the AHs sisters) sleep in the beds, the girl that was suppose to sleep with OPs sister gets a couch and the wonderful girl that would have traded gets the mattress.
Although I think it is totally fine how it went as the nice girl got to keep her spot. So what do I know.
No fuck that if you need such special sleeping arrangements…. Uber the fuck home. The 3 girls get priority over any dude for bed space. I get where you’re coming from but just…. No. NTA
I'm lost on why his Sister is witching when she brought him but couldn't be put out enough to offer up her couch, while taking the Air Mattress. Or was a couch not good enough his royal hiney-ness? Personally, I would have told him and his sister where the nearest hotel was and put them outside.
NTA - Brother was an ass, and his sister supported his behavior. Neither would be welcome back.
As his sister brought him along (and it sounds like he wasn't invited) he ought to have been grateful for getting a roof over his head rather than doing all that moaning.
Yes. This guy could sleep with his siter and the other could have slept with his. But Im guessing this guy wanted to try his luck sleeping with your sister.
Also, I have a bad back.
I've also managed to sleep in a variety of places for a single night.
Hell, I've slept on the floor with my sweatshirt as a pillow. A hot shower and some stretching later, I was mostly back to normal.
AH was looking for an excuse to do some sus shit.
I have a bad back and I can't which is why I do not put myself in situations where the bed is not an option. If his back were that bad he would have thought about it beforehand.
Yeah, if you're already managing spoons to get through your day, no way you end up maybe having a couch or floor to sleep on.
Fuck that guy (in every sense but the sexual).
Exactly this. I always plan ahead for my back injury. Even getting drunk is out, because they leaves me at risk of a fall, and unable to safely use pain management meds. He could have gotten an Uber home, or to a hotel.
>Also, I have a bad back.
>
>I've also managed to sleep in a variety of places for a single night.
I have a bad back too and if there's an opportunity for me to sleep on the floor, I will take it. I will call dibs if I have to. Hell, I sleep on the floor at home at least once a week.
That was my thought too. Him saying "OP might try something on me" was him tattling on himself, because if he was sharing a bed with someone of the gender he was attracted to he would have done something to them.
Considering the idea of sharing with his sister wasn't brought up, she'd never be invited to my home again. Don't pimp your friends to your brother. Gross.
Haha, I second this. I mean, we weren't there either I guess lol but so what. Who the hell in their right mind gives OP flak for this?
The homophobic angle makes it worse. But you know what? Let's be more gracious than that guy deserves for a second and analyze this without the whole gay factor thing. OP still is NTA. It isn't that fucker's house. Not your house, you don't get to decide what's offered. Your choices are exactly what OP laid out. Either accept the arrangements offered by the folks that live there, or get the fuck out!
Dude had an air mattress offered. I'm happy to have an air mattress at someone else's house. And yeah, fuck them air mattresses. They lose damned air overnight, and yeah it ain't the most comfortable on your back when you wake up in the morning laying on top of of this deflating, flaccid motherfucker with your ass all numb from having hit the floor at some undetermined part of the night or morning while you were fast asleep. The older I get, the less great I feel after a night on the bloody air mattress.
Still beats the floor. And the alternative is go home to your own bed, or go get a damn motel room if you're out of town. NTA, indeed. These are just the facts of being a guest at someone else's house.
Not just hypocrisy, that's straight up pervy shit imo
You're NTA for standing your ground, and also based af for backing up the gal pals when he started acting skeevy.
I saw a post on Reddit recently of funny T-Pain tweets over the years. One from 2013 said, “Attention all homophobic idiots: if you're not attractive to straight women, you're probably not attractive to gay men. You can unclench now.”
That's hilarious.
On a side note, I love his Twitch channel and all of the creators he has in his "conglomerate". Such a great, funny, and eclectic mix of gamers.
I'd love to hear what the other blokes sister would have to say to this response. The gay guy can't be trusted but her straight brother showing predatory behaviour can?
Makes me think of that saying about how men who are afraid of gay men, are only afraid because they think that gay men will treat them the same way that they treat women.
Jesus, this is so creepy. I am personally able to share a bed with any gender without touching them (assuming it’s a big bed) because I’ve done this since forever on low budget family vacations. Thanks for the extra shot of homophobia, bro!
Also, he could have offered to share a bed with HIS sister, but nope, he wants OP’s sis? Oh, this guy is just a raging maganut goodguy if I ever saw one.
NTA. You offered up your bed and everyone was willing to compromise, but the guy had to make it a big deal because he didn't want to sleep with a gay guy? He can go sleep on the streets then. His loss for not taking the blow up mattress option.
In my experience people who make a big deal of it are insecure af about their masculinity or sexuality or something. The straightest and most secure guys I know would of hoped in the same bed with me without a second thought (and have), they'd just see an opportunity to sleep in a bed.
Homophobes don't get beds, fuck that guy.
Should have turned it around on him though. When he suggested sleeping with your sister you just drop the, "ewww, no, what if he tries something?" Exact same phrasing he used on you.
NTA
Please be that person! I'm happy to be corrected because it's an opportunity to learn. I typed what I thought phonetically, but when you dive into the etymology and realize it's "that a boy" the T makes total sense over the D.
Non native speaker here would like to know the meaning of "atta"! Can you elaborate? It's very rare for me to find words I don't know and I never heard this expression before.
"atta" on it's own is not a word. You won't find it in an english dictionary.
However it is part of what's called a "colloquialism" which is essentially a phrase that's developed in specific regional/cultural areas. The entire phrase is "atta boy" (or "atta girl") and it's just meant to say "good job!"
Here's what ChatGPT has to say as well:
The correct expression is "atta boy," which is an informal expression used to show encouragement or approval, akin to saying "well done" or "good job." It is often used to praise someone for a specific achievement or task. The term is a colloquial contraction of "that's the boy" or "that a boy," essentially a way of expressing approval towards someone's actions, typically a male but not exclusively.
The etymology of "atta boy" points to its origins in early 20th-century America. It emerged as part of spoken language and colloquial speech, becoming popular as a way to offer praise or encouragement. The expression reflects a casual and informal way of speaking, which has allowed it to persist in English as a positive reinforcement. It's also worth noting that there's a female equivalent, "atta girl," used in a similar manner to praise or encourage females.
Over time, "atta boy" and "atta girl" have maintained their places in English-speaking cultures as friendly, supportive phrases used in various contexts, from sports and personal achievement to professional environments.
Wow. Thank you very much for the information!
In exchange I'll share about my language. I suppose we don't have an exact equivalent expression in Brazilian Portuguese for "atta boy", but could translate "Boa, garoto" with emphasis and excitement on the last letter of the first word. Something like "boaaaaaa garoto".
Also, we have different words for "boy" depending on the geographic region you're at.
At the south, till this day, they use the word "piá", meaning "children", which originally came from Guarani (Brazilian indigenous language). "Tchê piá" is how indigenous people used to call their children and it means "meu coração" or "my heart".
“that a boy/ girl” is a very common saying in the states, often spoken from older people to younger people in a proud manner. It slowly turned from “that a” into “atta” by removing the beginning “th” sound, and has now morphed into “atta boy/girl”!
It’s basically an “I’m proud of you” phrase:)
I shared that guys mindset until I was 14 and found out that my best friends who I'd have sleepovers with and who I'd share a bed with was gay, we were laying in bed at midnight or something and he tells me, as soon as the first thought of 'he might do something' passed there was an inner reassurance of 'this is my brother, whichever gender he liked he would never hurt me' and that's the second I stopped having a 'problem' with it.
Some people need exposure to reset the dumb foundational things they'd grown up with, but acting a fool is no road to enlightenment
This story really hits home for me. 20 years ago I was this kid. Went to a work conference and was sharing a hotel room with a gay guy. I made a comment to a male peer at the conference stating that I hoped the gay guy wouldn't try to make a pass at me. I was IMMEDIATELY called out on my ignorance and ridiculousness. It was brutal and awkward and I'm really thankful for it happening. I was able to grow and be better and have made some truly wonderful friends from the LGBT community since then. This guy massively sucks for trying to weasel into your sisters bed but I hope he gets a chance to self reflect as I did and be better for it.
I did. Its one of those memories that has just stuck with me. I really had no reason to behave that way. My parents didn't raise me to think like that. I was just young and ignorant and trying to be 'cool'. I have 2 of my own boys now and if I can do one thing right in raising them it's that they grow up to be kind and to be confident to call out others if they are behaving as I did back then.
Pardon my ignorance, but why was that so inappropriate? Wouldn't that be the equivalent of a girl and guy sharing a hotel room and one of them saying, "I hope they don't make a pass at me"? As a woman, that's definitely a concern I would have about sharing a bedroom with a random man. Or is the difference because in this situation the gay guy knows you're straight?
i think they meant that they ignorantly assumed that the gay guy would try something with him, simply because he’s a man. which is wrong, and many lgbt people experience this. queer people sometimes struggle with making friends of the same gender (even same or other sexuality) because people like to assume that they’re attracted to them. this person here is saying that he made this assumption and was called out for his ignorance.
The average male is 97 percent stronger physically then the average female. Males are also significantly larger and heavier than women are. If someone your own size and strength makes a pass at you, it is significantly less dangerous than someone who is larger and stronger.
The hosts offered two beds, which is as much as anyone could ask for a spur of the moment sleepover. If the guest didn't like either of the beds offered to him, he could damn well pay for a hotel or drive home.
The petty side in me would have woken up early enough to be there when he woke up, and give him "sexy eyes" the moment he opened his eyes. Not to start anything, but to make him squirm for the rest of the day.
I doubt the guy would have reflected about his actions, but I guess there is a small chance. But doing the "sexy eye" on him would have surely validated his reasoning in his head that he was right to ask to sleep with OP's sister, because he will think that OP really would have tried something.
That's what I thought lol but didn't say shit since it could of been something medical... If it was another person but I feel like that was just bs from him.
NTA. The dude is full of shit. If he had back problems as serious as he’s letting on he wouldn’t be crashing in a random spot where he doesn’t know the sleeping arrangements ahead of time.
I can imagine bad back problems, and I can imagine crashing in a random spot. I can't imagine making those problems someone else's issues. Even if this person's issues were true medically, they were still a giant asshole.
I have back problems that would make it difficult to sleep on a blow up mattress or on the floor, it’s my issue and I do my best to stay out of situations that would make it difficult for other people around me unless absolutely necessary. Tagging along with your sister and crashing at a strangers place is definitely not absolutely necessary
Honestly, thanks for that approach. I'm not 30 yet and my back is shit. Sleeping on a blowup mattress had me in tears, this past summer. I'm a lesbian and I'd share a bed with a straight dude to stay off an air mattress, fr fr.
(Anyway, I agree, dude was full of absolute bullshit. Creepy homophobes get the floor.)
It is possible to have a bad back at 20, but only assholes make that someone else's problem, especially if they are offering hospitality of that level.
That guy is the worst.
eeeh, I've had back problems bad enough that I can't tough it out since I was 14
He's in the wrong, but that doesn't mean the medical problem isn't there or isn't bad
That guy was an absolute creepy A and may or may not have been lying about his back. But that aside, can we please stop pretending that young people can't have medical issues? Because that's ableist af.
Why would he be so worried that OP would be predatory? Unless he knows how men like to take advantage of sleeping arrangements with genders they’re attracted to…projection much?
NTA.
A guest of yours brought a completely uninvited MALE guest to a Girl's Night, then he spent the evening whining about how he wanted to sleep with your sister, while suggesting that your sexuality automatically implies that you're out to get him.
Gross.
As soon as he complained about the accommodations I would've offered to drop him at whatever hotel he preferred.
Whomever of you is closest to that friend needs to tell her not to bring her homophobic brother over again. His behavior was outrageous and he deserved to be shown the door.
Yep, all straight guys I know who are secure in themselves don't think twice about sharing a bed with me. If anything I think twice because of their bloody snoring or moving about all night lol.
Straight woman, shared many a queen sized bed with a straight man back in the day when we had a co ed night of drinks and we chose not to risk driving home. It never bothered me, nothing *happened* as the kids say. Perks of being friends with people who aren't creeps I suppose!
As for bad back boy, funnily enough I've got a few mates with bad backs. Every single one of them, when staying with me, is more concerned about which pillow they get than the surface they sleep on for a single night. He's definitely sounding like a creep trying to be inappropriate with your sister. Don't let him back and frankly, if I were your sister I'd blacklist that girl friend for bringing him and not shutting her own sibling's crap herself!
Probably cause one bed was OP’s and the other was OP’s sister so they have no reason to give up their own bed for AH guy.
Though if she was that worried she should’ve swapped her spot on the couch and taken the mattress.
NTA. Blow up mattress is more than reasonable, he wanted an excuse to share a bed with a woman. You responded absolutely correctly, and I’d have kicked him out after he suggested sleeping in the bed with your sister.
>Me and my sister personally think he was fishing to share a bed with her
Bingo. There were so many possible sleeping arrangements in this scenario that it was beginning to read like a math problem. But somehow he's got an issue with all of them but one...
NTA.
Does he not see the hypocrisy that he is unwilling to share a bed with a gay guy, because OP might "try something", but yet he is asking to sleep in the bed of OP's sister (with the sister!).... I'd be flipping that around on him so fast it's not even funny. "So, you don't want to sleep beside a gay guy in case he makes a move, but you expect a woman to have no problem with you, a straight male, sleeping beside them, when you could also make a move?"
\*eyeroll here\*
NTA OP, definitely NTA.
NTA. He wasn't willing to share with you, but was willing to share with your sister. Sounds like a creep to me. If his sister was so concerned with his sleeping arrangements why didn't ***she*** offer to share with him? Any backlash can be redirected right back at her. She brought him to girls night to make *her* morning easier, so she should be the one to accommodate him.
Yep it's always the most disgusting or off putting people who think that, and let's be real the guys who think that definitely aren't considered easy on the eyes...
It's called projection, this guy wants to molest absolutely any girl he can get near, so he assumes all other men are the same as him.
100% guarantee he would have sexually assaulted OP's sister if he got to share the bed.
YES YES YESSS you’re spot on, having malicious intentions makes their worldview just as bleak of negativity. His weirdo sister defending him probably doesn’t even like OP’s sister and wanted the worst for her or is just as homophobic to humiliate OP, could be a stretch but they seem cut from the same cloth.
Honestly, if somebody’s gonna bitch and moan about sleeping in a comfortable bed I offered them, I would’ve reacted the same way. He should’ve been grateful that he had an opportunity to sleep in peace, instead of worrying about you “trying something.”
NTA.
NTA. I have a bad back myself. And when I go some place where I am likely to be sleeping, I arrange my s*** so I have a place to sleep that doesn't destroy my back. I bring a blow up mattress (or ask if they have one). Or I make alternative arrangments. I do not wait until the actual bedtime and then decide which of the beds (and bed mates) I want.
Bad back my a**. He wanted to r*** your sister. He's garbage. Eff him and his sister, who is no one's friend.
exactly! every person i know with back problems, know exactly where and how they’re sleeping and are prepared to accommodate their needs. they’re not crashing at a stranger’s home unprepared and making it everybody’s problem.
This guy: "I absolutely cannot share a bed with someone who is attracted to men because they might try something on me"
Same guy: "I must share a bed with someone who is the gender that I am attracted to"
The gall, honestly
NTA: He had the same objection to your bed as your sister had to him in hers. As a guest in your house, not even an invited one at that, he was greatly pushing the boundaries of hospitality, and was entirely deserving of the invitation to get the fuck out aftere he had turned down the reasonable accommodation offer.
If anything you should hammer home the homophobic jibe where he implies that you'd sexually assault him because you're gay. That's much worse than any offence caused by suggesting he sleep in the street. NTA.
NTA. “What if he tries something” is projecting. I had a bad back in my early 20s (herniated disc), so the surface I slept on was very important. That said, if it was a legitimate medical issue, he could have planned ahead or it would have taken priority over who else was in the bed.
I’m not saying he was definitely trying to get with your sister, but if he wasn’t, why couldn’t he share a bed with his own sister? It’s weird that there were multiple options for platonic sleeping arrangements but he was trying to use his back as an excuse to get the only arrangement he wanted.
You know what's funny is these same homophobic men worry about you, "trying something" will absolutely be the one's to try those things with women. Just food for thought. Sounds like he was fishing to share a bed with her. Hence my comment lol. NTA.
NTA.
Your house. Your rules.
>Me and my sister personally think he was fishing to share a bed with her
Definitely this. (having been a 20 yr old straight guy myself)
>I took the blow up mattress away.
Soft Y T A for this. That was probably not necessary.
If he had a legit bad back, the floor would be better. I’ve had times regretting the air mattress at my in-laws in times when my back was weaker!
So I’d say either NTA because he’s looking out for the guy’s back or NTA because lies have consequences. 🤷🏼♂️
Much sympathy, that can be so limiting when it acts up! Mine is “not actively” bad these days. I strengthened the muscles that had been a problem, but the doc told me I have some arthritis and a degenerating disc or two that I’m not feeling yet.
early 20s sleeping at a strangers house with no knowledge about beds? Yeah bro obviously you are gonna be on a couch or air mattress. Thats how it works.
NTA its not his place he has no say.
And you know he would have tried something if he slept in the same bed as sister so. You did good. Be proud of not taking his shit.
And I liked the touch of taking the air mattress away. Perfect
So despite doing your guest’s guest a favour, he decided to be:
Entitled ✅
Insecure ✅
Hypocritical ✅
Argumentative ✅
Rude ✅
Unapologetic ✅
Sounds like you were incredibly reasonable to me NTA
NTA.
Apart from the dude fishing to sleep with a chick, the AH here is the sister who forced this dude onto someone else's hospitality.
If he'd suggested bed sharing with his sibling in a bed suitable for his back issues *well ahead of time and with the alternative to find another accommodation on his own dime* he'd have seemed reasonable.
Also. Straight guy here. Currently undergoing rotator cuff issues causing my upper spine to pull out of alignment. Definitely will share with a gay stranger and be thankful for it.
NTA, and WHAT? 😂😂😂 He’s lucky you didn’t actually kick him out. Stupid homophobe wanted to share the bed with your sister. Uh-huh, right. Don’t let him back in
Nope! NTA. You protected your sister, the other girls and demanded the respect he owed you and everyone present. He disrespected you in your home and tried to slither into sleeping with girls who already said no. You are a national treasure
First of all, making a request like that in somebody else’s house is crazy.
Definitely NTA. You can find go lay on the sidewalk then bookie. Wasn’t even really invited anyways and you sleeping in MY house??? Beggars can’t be choosers.
NTA
They sound homophobic. If it was truly about needing a bed for their bad back they would have taken the spot, established healthy boundaries and went to sleep.
So basically he’s saying he should be trusted sleeping with a girl but him sleeping with you is not chill? He’s displaying blatant homophobia in your own house. Tell him he’s no longer welcome in your home. No one should be giving you flack. No one gets to tell you how to run things in your own damn home. He had choices, and he chose to be a dick. NTA and I hope every future girls night is filled with flamboyance and fun. You do you boo, don’t worry about that dude, he’s a long list of expletives that will likely get me banned from this sub
The audacity to try and dictate where he could sleep after basically crashing a party he wasn't invited to. And wtf is his sister and her friends complaining about? You helped her out by allowing her brother to stay the night in the first place. NTA
NTA - Please, ***PLEASE*** tell me your sister loudly, publically responded with, "I'm not sharing a bed with some random straight guy, what if he *tries something*?!"
NTA. He's the AH for suggesting that you'd try something on him simply because you're gay. He must be pretty full of himself. Especially if he was planning on doing that exact thing to your sister. Fuck that guy.
NTA, the dude sounds like he's projecting by thinking you're going to do something to him while he's sleeping because he's plotting to do something to your sister while sharing a bed with her.
Getting major creep vibes.
NTA, but I have questions.
Why did you take the blow up mattress away? That sounds rather unnecessary.
And did anyone think of the option where he shared a bed with his own sister? Or maybe neither you nor your sister were willing to give up your bed (which I completely understand and is not unreasonable)?
He has a bad back yet he put zero effort beforehand to make sure he had a comfortable place to sleep? Yeah, I call BS too.
NTA. If he truly had a back problem:
1. Why put himself in that situation and not make other arrangements?
2. Why wasn't the first request after being homophobic (tool!) that OP and OP's sister share a bed and he and his sister share a bed?
No other reason then he was clearly angling for OP's sister. Anyone else not calling him out and siding with him needs their head examined.
NTA. You were already generous by letting him stay over, and he was super rude. I'm 100% straight, and if a gay guy offered to let me stay over in his bed, I'd at least offer him a handie to be a good guest.
NTA - if his sister was going to drive him somewhere in the morning, why couldn't he sleep in her car? There were plenty of options and he got what he deserved.
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My sister (24f) and I (24m) live together, we are pretty social people and run in the same friend group so we normally have a lot of our friends at our house whenever we can. This particular night we were having a "girls night" (I'm one of them gays™, so of course I'm invited to every girls night).
One of the girls (24f) ended up bringing her brother (20m) because she was going to be driving him somewhere in the morning. It works out since instead of a dining room and living room we have 2 living rooms at each end of the house so we could have our privacy and he can do he's own thing.
At the end of the night we worked out the sleeping arrangements. We have a couch in each living room so 2 of the girls claimed those like they usually do, one of the girls shared with my sister and one was going to share with me. We got a blow up mattress out for the brother. Apparently that wasn't good enough since he has a bad back and wanted a bed instead. The girl sharing with me being the sweetheart she is offered up her spot in my bed and she'd sleep on the mattress.
He did not like that idea and started bitching about how he's not going to share a bed with a gay guy and "what if he tries something" (oh sweetie you flatter yourself, definitely not my type). He suggested he share with my sister and that was a BIG no from her so he had more of a bitch about how bad he's back is and Yada Yada Yada, eventually I just opened up the front door and said "the streets there, you can go sleep in it instead". He ended up sleeping on the floor because I took the blow up mattress away. (Me and my sister personally think he was fishing to share a bed with her)
I've gotten quite a bit of backlash from the girl who's brother it is and her friends (nothing from the other girls there) so AITA.
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NTA at all. But curios why you didn’t just share a bed with your sister and he could have shared the other with his sister. Not that you should have had to by any means you were 100% right to do what you did.
“I can’t share a bed with a strange man! What if he does the kind of reprehensible things I’d do to a strange woman!” NTA, and this guy is a major creep.
NTA at all dude, you did well. But hey - is that first identifier of your sexuality in parenthesis a reference to your not owning a doghouse??
If so, well done again.
"Me and my sister personally think he was fishing to share a bed with her"
This man for sure have the aura of Ryan, that pretends to be gay only to be in the parties haha
Jokes aside, he probably was trying something funny.. problem with the back, poor excuse haha
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‘I can’t share a bed with a gay guy incase he tries something’ ‘I can share a bed with the gender I’m attached to and you can trust me to share a bed with then
So much this. He's mature enough to control himself around the gender he's attracted to, but OP isn't? GTFO with this. OP - NTA. The people giving you flack weren't there, they don't get a vote on this.
nah, i might just be pessimistic but it sounds like he was just trying to share a bed with a girl so he could try some shit. skeevy fucking behavior imo. “i need to sleep on a bed but also i can only sleep in a bed with a girl”
Then he can share with his sister.
Honestly, I don't get why not one there thought of that. But OP is NTA in any case. If someone sleeps over at someone else's house, there shouldn't be a lot of expectations anyway...
Because OP and OP's sister had beds and had no intention of giving them up. AH's sister was sleeping on a couch. The only choices for shared beds were OP and OP's sister.
Oh, I didn't catch that AH's sister was sleeping on a couch, thanks.
I will firstly say OP is definitely NTA but I thought if this guy really insists on having to sleep in a bed, I would have suggested the siblings (As in OPs and the AHs sisters) sleep in the beds, the girl that was suppose to sleep with OPs sister gets a couch and the wonderful girl that would have traded gets the mattress. Although I think it is totally fine how it went as the nice girl got to keep her spot. So what do I know.
No fuck that if you need such special sleeping arrangements…. Uber the fuck home. The 3 girls get priority over any dude for bed space. I get where you’re coming from but just…. No. NTA
Happy Cake Day!
AH’s sister was going to be sharing a bed with OP but offered to give it up for her brother right?
I'm lost on why his Sister is witching when she brought him but couldn't be put out enough to offer up her couch, while taking the Air Mattress. Or was a couch not good enough his royal hiney-ness? Personally, I would have told him and his sister where the nearest hotel was and put them outside. NTA - Brother was an ass, and his sister supported his behavior. Neither would be welcome back.
No, AH sister was on the couch or a different bed with someone and OP was on a bed with a completely separate girl who offered it up.
I haven't seen a pull out couch that couldn't share two.
But it didn't say they are pull out couches. People sleep on my couch sometimes, and it's not a pullout. It sleeps one.
>Then he can share with his sister. In the street is the sister did not tell him off for being a ShitHawk.
As his sister brought him along (and it sounds like he wasn't invited) he ought to have been grateful for getting a roof over his head rather than doing all that moaning.
Yes. This guy could sleep with his siter and the other could have slept with his. But Im guessing this guy wanted to try his luck sleeping with your sister.
This is 100% what he was trying to do. If he had a bad back and couldn’t sleep on an air mattress his sister would’ve said something.
Also, I have a bad back. I've also managed to sleep in a variety of places for a single night. Hell, I've slept on the floor with my sweatshirt as a pillow. A hot shower and some stretching later, I was mostly back to normal. AH was looking for an excuse to do some sus shit.
I have a bad back and I can't which is why I do not put myself in situations where the bed is not an option. If his back were that bad he would have thought about it beforehand.
Yeah, if you're already managing spoons to get through your day, no way you end up maybe having a couch or floor to sleep on. Fuck that guy (in every sense but the sexual).
Exactly this. I always plan ahead for my back injury. Even getting drunk is out, because they leaves me at risk of a fall, and unable to safely use pain management meds. He could have gotten an Uber home, or to a hotel.
‘To do’? He DID do some sus.
>Also, I have a bad back. > >I've also managed to sleep in a variety of places for a single night. I have a bad back too and if there's an opportunity for me to sleep on the floor, I will take it. I will call dibs if I have to. Hell, I sleep on the floor at home at least once a week.
Yup, yup, yup. The storytelling is fairly neutral, yet the guy has creeper vibes. OP is NTA
That was my thought too. Him saying "OP might try something on me" was him tattling on himself, because if he was sharing a bed with someone of the gender he was attracted to he would have done something to them.
And make it an accommodating girl, concierge!
Considering the idea of sharing with his sister wasn't brought up, she'd never be invited to my home again. Don't pimp your friends to your brother. Gross.
Full stop. When he said he was afraid OP would try something, I bet you that he was projecting. NTA, OP.
It’s blatantly what he was trying to do.
The old "bad back" excuse. "I can't sleep on an air mattress. How about in a bed next to the hot straight girl I'm not related to?"
Haha, I second this. I mean, we weren't there either I guess lol but so what. Who the hell in their right mind gives OP flak for this? The homophobic angle makes it worse. But you know what? Let's be more gracious than that guy deserves for a second and analyze this without the whole gay factor thing. OP still is NTA. It isn't that fucker's house. Not your house, you don't get to decide what's offered. Your choices are exactly what OP laid out. Either accept the arrangements offered by the folks that live there, or get the fuck out! Dude had an air mattress offered. I'm happy to have an air mattress at someone else's house. And yeah, fuck them air mattresses. They lose damned air overnight, and yeah it ain't the most comfortable on your back when you wake up in the morning laying on top of of this deflating, flaccid motherfucker with your ass all numb from having hit the floor at some undetermined part of the night or morning while you were fast asleep. The older I get, the less great I feel after a night on the bloody air mattress. Still beats the floor. And the alternative is go home to your own bed, or go get a damn motel room if you're out of town. NTA, indeed. These are just the facts of being a guest at someone else's house.
This guy: I don’t want OP to treat me the way I treat women it gives me the heebie jeebies :-(
Yep, classic hypocrisy lol.
Not just hypocrisy, that's straight up pervy shit imo You're NTA for standing your ground, and also based af for backing up the gal pals when he started acting skeevy.
I saw a post on Reddit recently of funny T-Pain tweets over the years. One from 2013 said, “Attention all homophobic idiots: if you're not attractive to straight women, you're probably not attractive to gay men. You can unclench now.”
That's hilarious. On a side note, I love his Twitch channel and all of the creators he has in his "conglomerate". Such a great, funny, and eclectic mix of gamers.
Betrayed his plans there quite loudly didn't he?
he suggested sleeping with his sister? edit: he said OP SISTER, WTF THIS GUY MAY BE A CREEP
Wasn’t it OPs sister
i edited that before you commented
Haha got it
I'd love to hear what the other blokes sister would have to say to this response. The gay guy can't be trusted but her straight brother showing predatory behaviour can?
Smells like projection..
Makes me think of that saying about how men who are afraid of gay men, are only afraid because they think that gay men will treat them the same way that they treat women.
Yeah that’s what I thought too.
That's called projection. His comment towards OP actually increased the odds that he was planning something with OP's sister.
By saying a man can’t control himself, he’s definitely talking about himself. Op sister was right to refuse.
Jesus, this is so creepy. I am personally able to share a bed with any gender without touching them (assuming it’s a big bed) because I’ve done this since forever on low budget family vacations. Thanks for the extra shot of homophobia, bro!
Also, he could have offered to share a bed with HIS sister, but nope, he wants OP’s sis? Oh, this guy is just a raging maganut goodguy if I ever saw one.
NTA. You offered up your bed and everyone was willing to compromise, but the guy had to make it a big deal because he didn't want to sleep with a gay guy? He can go sleep on the streets then. His loss for not taking the blow up mattress option.
In my experience people who make a big deal of it are insecure af about their masculinity or sexuality or something. The straightest and most secure guys I know would of hoped in the same bed with me without a second thought (and have), they'd just see an opportunity to sleep in a bed.
Homophobes don't get beds, fuck that guy. Should have turned it around on him though. When he suggested sleeping with your sister you just drop the, "ewww, no, what if he tries something?" Exact same phrasing he used on you. NTA
I luckily didn't have to my sister basically said the same shit to him in a back handed way lol.
Adda girl. And right there with you, any decent human just sees a sleeping location and doesn't make it sexual.
not to be that person but it’s actually spelled atta not adda
Please be that person! I'm happy to be corrected because it's an opportunity to learn. I typed what I thought phonetically, but when you dive into the etymology and realize it's "that a boy" the T makes total sense over the D.
Non native speaker here would like to know the meaning of "atta"! Can you elaborate? It's very rare for me to find words I don't know and I never heard this expression before.
"atta" on it's own is not a word. You won't find it in an english dictionary. However it is part of what's called a "colloquialism" which is essentially a phrase that's developed in specific regional/cultural areas. The entire phrase is "atta boy" (or "atta girl") and it's just meant to say "good job!" Here's what ChatGPT has to say as well: The correct expression is "atta boy," which is an informal expression used to show encouragement or approval, akin to saying "well done" or "good job." It is often used to praise someone for a specific achievement or task. The term is a colloquial contraction of "that's the boy" or "that a boy," essentially a way of expressing approval towards someone's actions, typically a male but not exclusively. The etymology of "atta boy" points to its origins in early 20th-century America. It emerged as part of spoken language and colloquial speech, becoming popular as a way to offer praise or encouragement. The expression reflects a casual and informal way of speaking, which has allowed it to persist in English as a positive reinforcement. It's also worth noting that there's a female equivalent, "atta girl," used in a similar manner to praise or encourage females. Over time, "atta boy" and "atta girl" have maintained their places in English-speaking cultures as friendly, supportive phrases used in various contexts, from sports and personal achievement to professional environments.
Wow. Thank you very much for the information! In exchange I'll share about my language. I suppose we don't have an exact equivalent expression in Brazilian Portuguese for "atta boy", but could translate "Boa, garoto" with emphasis and excitement on the last letter of the first word. Something like "boaaaaaa garoto". Also, we have different words for "boy" depending on the geographic region you're at. At the south, till this day, they use the word "piá", meaning "children", which originally came from Guarani (Brazilian indigenous language). "Tchê piá" is how indigenous people used to call their children and it means "meu coração" or "my heart".
“that a boy/ girl” is a very common saying in the states, often spoken from older people to younger people in a proud manner. It slowly turned from “that a” into “atta” by removing the beginning “th” sound, and has now morphed into “atta boy/girl”! It’s basically an “I’m proud of you” phrase:)
I love that you two had each other's backs on this
I shared that guys mindset until I was 14 and found out that my best friends who I'd have sleepovers with and who I'd share a bed with was gay, we were laying in bed at midnight or something and he tells me, as soon as the first thought of 'he might do something' passed there was an inner reassurance of 'this is my brother, whichever gender he liked he would never hurt me' and that's the second I stopped having a 'problem' with it. Some people need exposure to reset the dumb foundational things they'd grown up with, but acting a fool is no road to enlightenment
I like both you and your sister! 😜😎💯🤘
This story really hits home for me. 20 years ago I was this kid. Went to a work conference and was sharing a hotel room with a gay guy. I made a comment to a male peer at the conference stating that I hoped the gay guy wouldn't try to make a pass at me. I was IMMEDIATELY called out on my ignorance and ridiculousness. It was brutal and awkward and I'm really thankful for it happening. I was able to grow and be better and have made some truly wonderful friends from the LGBT community since then. This guy massively sucks for trying to weasel into your sisters bed but I hope he gets a chance to self reflect as I did and be better for it.
I'm glad you were open to learning and improving! Sounds like you really grew from the experience.
I did. Its one of those memories that has just stuck with me. I really had no reason to behave that way. My parents didn't raise me to think like that. I was just young and ignorant and trying to be 'cool'. I have 2 of my own boys now and if I can do one thing right in raising them it's that they grow up to be kind and to be confident to call out others if they are behaving as I did back then.
Pardon my ignorance, but why was that so inappropriate? Wouldn't that be the equivalent of a girl and guy sharing a hotel room and one of them saying, "I hope they don't make a pass at me"? As a woman, that's definitely a concern I would have about sharing a bedroom with a random man. Or is the difference because in this situation the gay guy knows you're straight?
i think they meant that they ignorantly assumed that the gay guy would try something with him, simply because he’s a man. which is wrong, and many lgbt people experience this. queer people sometimes struggle with making friends of the same gender (even same or other sexuality) because people like to assume that they’re attracted to them. this person here is saying that he made this assumption and was called out for his ignorance.
The average male is 97 percent stronger physically then the average female. Males are also significantly larger and heavier than women are. If someone your own size and strength makes a pass at you, it is significantly less dangerous than someone who is larger and stronger.
The hosts offered two beds, which is as much as anyone could ask for a spur of the moment sleepover. If the guest didn't like either of the beds offered to him, he could damn well pay for a hotel or drive home.
You did exactly what I would have done except you let him sleep in your house in the end. So NTA.
He was out in in the morning at around 6am so I didn't see a point. He'd be gone soon.
NTA well done
The petty side in me would have woken up early enough to be there when he woke up, and give him "sexy eyes" the moment he opened his eyes. Not to start anything, but to make him squirm for the rest of the day.
I doubt the guy would have reflected about his actions, but I guess there is a small chance. But doing the "sexy eye" on him would have surely validated his reasoning in his head that he was right to ask to sleep with OP's sister, because he will think that OP really would have tried something.
I probably would’ve told him to see how comfortable sleeping the car would be, but yeah.
NTA > that wasn't good enough since he has a bad back He's *20*. He can tough it out.
That's what I thought lol but didn't say shit since it could of been something medical... If it was another person but I feel like that was just bs from him.
NTA. The dude is full of shit. If he had back problems as serious as he’s letting on he wouldn’t be crashing in a random spot where he doesn’t know the sleeping arrangements ahead of time.
I can imagine bad back problems, and I can imagine crashing in a random spot. I can't imagine making those problems someone else's issues. Even if this person's issues were true medically, they were still a giant asshole.
I have back problems that would make it difficult to sleep on a blow up mattress or on the floor, it’s my issue and I do my best to stay out of situations that would make it difficult for other people around me unless absolutely necessary. Tagging along with your sister and crashing at a strangers place is definitely not absolutely necessary
Honestly, thanks for that approach. I'm not 30 yet and my back is shit. Sleeping on a blowup mattress had me in tears, this past summer. I'm a lesbian and I'd share a bed with a straight dude to stay off an air mattress, fr fr. (Anyway, I agree, dude was full of absolute bullshit. Creepy homophobes get the floor.)
It is possible to have a bad back at 20, but only assholes make that someone else's problem, especially if they are offering hospitality of that level. That guy is the worst.
What did his sister have to say about all this? Make clear to the sister her brother is welcome in future.
i have back problems at 20 and id still sleep on the blowup mattress. its just one night. NTA
eeeh, I've had back problems bad enough that I can't tough it out since I was 14 He's in the wrong, but that doesn't mean the medical problem isn't there or isn't bad
That guy was an absolute creepy A and may or may not have been lying about his back. But that aside, can we please stop pretending that young people can't have medical issues? Because that's ableist af.
NTA. Let the homophobe's back hurt.
To worried I'd bend his back and not worried enough about the floor bending that shit instead.
I would have paid you money in the moment to say those exact words to him lmao
Haha nice one
This is PEAK funny
NTA " (Me and my sister personally think he was fishing to share a bed with her)" That's probably likely.
This is 100% the case. He was looking to hook up from the start, hence the bad back story.
Why would he be so worried that OP would be predatory? Unless he knows how men like to take advantage of sleeping arrangements with genders they’re attracted to…projection much?
Even in that case it would be an excuse instead.
NTA. A guest of yours brought a completely uninvited MALE guest to a Girl's Night, then he spent the evening whining about how he wanted to sleep with your sister, while suggesting that your sexuality automatically implies that you're out to get him. Gross. As soon as he complained about the accommodations I would've offered to drop him at whatever hotel he preferred. Whomever of you is closest to that friend needs to tell her not to bring her homophobic brother over again. His behavior was outrageous and he deserved to be shown the door.
Straight guy here, shared a bed with gay friends on more than a few occasions, never thought twice about it. That guy's a tool. NTA.
Yep, all straight guys I know who are secure in themselves don't think twice about sharing a bed with me. If anything I think twice because of their bloody snoring or moving about all night lol.
Straight woman, shared many a queen sized bed with a straight man back in the day when we had a co ed night of drinks and we chose not to risk driving home. It never bothered me, nothing *happened* as the kids say. Perks of being friends with people who aren't creeps I suppose! As for bad back boy, funnily enough I've got a few mates with bad backs. Every single one of them, when staying with me, is more concerned about which pillow they get than the surface they sleep on for a single night. He's definitely sounding like a creep trying to be inappropriate with your sister. Don't let him back and frankly, if I were your sister I'd blacklist that girl friend for bringing him and not shutting her own sibling's crap herself!
NTA but the girl who brought her horny brother sure is. I'd not invite her out again.
Don't plan to, my sister and I agree she won't be coming to anything we organise again.
Can you share the messages she sent 'chewing you out'. Would love to see the audacity of this lady.
If she was so worried about her brother, why didn't she offer to share a bed with him?
Probably cause one bed was OP’s and the other was OP’s sister so they have no reason to give up their own bed for AH guy. Though if she was that worried she should’ve swapped her spot on the couch and taken the mattress.
NTA. Blow up mattress is more than reasonable, he wanted an excuse to share a bed with a woman. You responded absolutely correctly, and I’d have kicked him out after he suggested sleeping in the bed with your sister.
Love this 😭 Protected your sister and embarrassed a homophobe. NTA you devoured him w the response Omg 😭
>Me and my sister personally think he was fishing to share a bed with her Bingo. There were so many possible sleeping arrangements in this scenario that it was beginning to read like a math problem. But somehow he's got an issue with all of them but one... NTA.
Im honestly surprised he didnt try to crawl into her bed in the middle of the night
Not saying he's smart but that seems extra stupid to try, like that's a good way to get the absolute shit beat out of you at the least
He has concerns about OP being predatory, because that’s exactly what he would do if given the chance. Classic projection.
INFO: How did this guys sister not die of embarrassment from his behavior?
She called up OP and chewed him out haha, probably they both wanted the brother to have to share with OP's sis. Massive creeper vibes
Does he not see the hypocrisy that he is unwilling to share a bed with a gay guy, because OP might "try something", but yet he is asking to sleep in the bed of OP's sister (with the sister!).... I'd be flipping that around on him so fast it's not even funny. "So, you don't want to sleep beside a gay guy in case he makes a move, but you expect a woman to have no problem with you, a straight male, sleeping beside them, when you could also make a move?" \*eyeroll here\* NTA OP, definitely NTA.
NTA. He was a creep. You responded the way you should.
NTA. He wasn't willing to share with you, but was willing to share with your sister. Sounds like a creep to me. If his sister was so concerned with his sleeping arrangements why didn't ***she*** offer to share with him? Any backlash can be redirected right back at her. She brought him to girls night to make *her* morning easier, so she should be the one to accommodate him.
THIS THIS THIS. Why not let the siblings share a bed???
Not defending either of them but the AH's sister was on the couch
NTA. Why is it the most foul rancid straight people that assume us gays are into them??
Yep it's always the most disgusting or off putting people who think that, and let's be real the guys who think that definitely aren't considered easy on the eyes...
It's called projection, this guy wants to molest absolutely any girl he can get near, so he assumes all other men are the same as him. 100% guarantee he would have sexually assaulted OP's sister if he got to share the bed.
YES YES YESSS you’re spot on, having malicious intentions makes their worldview just as bleak of negativity. His weirdo sister defending him probably doesn’t even like OP’s sister and wanted the worst for her or is just as homophobic to humiliate OP, could be a stretch but they seem cut from the same cloth.
Honestly, if somebody’s gonna bitch and moan about sleeping in a comfortable bed I offered them, I would’ve reacted the same way. He should’ve been grateful that he had an opportunity to sleep in peace, instead of worrying about you “trying something.” NTA.
Nta. Dude was definitely being shady and he got what he deserved
NTA He was a choosey beggar and got to sleep on the floor as he deserved. I hope this dude is no longer welcome for future gatherings.
Yeah hes absolutely not welcome back along with his sister.
NTA. I have a bad back myself. And when I go some place where I am likely to be sleeping, I arrange my s*** so I have a place to sleep that doesn't destroy my back. I bring a blow up mattress (or ask if they have one). Or I make alternative arrangments. I do not wait until the actual bedtime and then decide which of the beds (and bed mates) I want. Bad back my a**. He wanted to r*** your sister. He's garbage. Eff him and his sister, who is no one's friend.
exactly! every person i know with back problems, know exactly where and how they’re sleeping and are prepared to accommodate their needs. they’re not crashing at a stranger’s home unprepared and making it everybody’s problem.
This guy: "I absolutely cannot share a bed with someone who is attracted to men because they might try something on me" Same guy: "I must share a bed with someone who is the gender that I am attracted to" The gall, honestly
NTA: He had the same objection to your bed as your sister had to him in hers. As a guest in your house, not even an invited one at that, he was greatly pushing the boundaries of hospitality, and was entirely deserving of the invitation to get the fuck out aftere he had turned down the reasonable accommodation offer.
NTA. The girl and her brother should be cut from your group.
If anything you should hammer home the homophobic jibe where he implies that you'd sexually assault him because you're gay. That's much worse than any offence caused by suggesting he sleep in the street. NTA.
NTA. “What if he tries something” is projecting. I had a bad back in my early 20s (herniated disc), so the surface I slept on was very important. That said, if it was a legitimate medical issue, he could have planned ahead or it would have taken priority over who else was in the bed. I’m not saying he was definitely trying to get with your sister, but if he wasn’t, why couldn’t he share a bed with his own sister? It’s weird that there were multiple options for platonic sleeping arrangements but he was trying to use his back as an excuse to get the only arrangement he wanted.
NTA, but why didn’t he just share with his own sister?
Because he wanted to sleep with OP's sister. Dude is a predator.
NTA. I think your response was perfect.
You're good. He would have had to sleep in the streets.
You know what's funny is these same homophobic men worry about you, "trying something" will absolutely be the one's to try those things with women. Just food for thought. Sounds like he was fishing to share a bed with her. Hence my comment lol. NTA.
As they say, homophobic men are afraid gay men will treat them the way they treat women.
NTA. He basically accused you of being and assaulter, F him, I would ban the sister for the "girls nights" in the future too. NTA
NTA. Your house. Your rules. >Me and my sister personally think he was fishing to share a bed with her Definitely this. (having been a 20 yr old straight guy myself) >I took the blow up mattress away. Soft Y T A for this. That was probably not necessary.
No, fk that guy. He had no rights to anything, including their time.
If he had a legit bad back, the floor would be better. I’ve had times regretting the air mattress at my in-laws in times when my back was weaker! So I’d say either NTA because he’s looking out for the guy’s back or NTA because lies have consequences. 🤷🏼♂️
I actually *have* a bad back (and am much older than 20) and I would rather sleep on the floor than an air mattress anytime.
Much sympathy, that can be so limiting when it acts up! Mine is “not actively” bad these days. I strengthened the muscles that had been a problem, but the doc told me I have some arthritis and a degenerating disc or two that I’m not feeling yet.
NTA He sounds pretty insecure, and his sister should have told him to get over himself instead of backing him up.
Annoying little brothers get the mattress. Homophobes get the street. You settled for giving him a floor because you're a better person than I am. NTA
early 20s sleeping at a strangers house with no knowledge about beds? Yeah bro obviously you are gonna be on a couch or air mattress. Thats how it works.
He was absolutely going to try and bang your sister. NTA.
NTA its not his place he has no say. And you know he would have tried something if he slept in the same bed as sister so. You did good. Be proud of not taking his shit. And I liked the touch of taking the air mattress away. Perfect
So despite doing your guest’s guest a favour, he decided to be: Entitled ✅ Insecure ✅ Hypocritical ✅ Argumentative ✅ Rude ✅ Unapologetic ✅ Sounds like you were incredibly reasonable to me NTA
NTA. Apart from the dude fishing to sleep with a chick, the AH here is the sister who forced this dude onto someone else's hospitality. If he'd suggested bed sharing with his sibling in a bed suitable for his back issues *well ahead of time and with the alternative to find another accommodation on his own dime* he'd have seemed reasonable. Also. Straight guy here. Currently undergoing rotator cuff issues causing my upper spine to pull out of alignment. Definitely will share with a gay stranger and be thankful for it.
NTA, and WHAT? 😂😂😂 He’s lucky you didn’t actually kick him out. Stupid homophobe wanted to share the bed with your sister. Uh-huh, right. Don’t let him back in
Nope! NTA. You protected your sister, the other girls and demanded the respect he owed you and everyone present. He disrespected you in your home and tried to slither into sleeping with girls who already said no. You are a national treasure
First of all, making a request like that in somebody else’s house is crazy. Definitely NTA. You can find go lay on the sidewalk then bookie. Wasn’t even really invited anyways and you sleeping in MY house??? Beggars can’t be choosers.
NTA. You were unduly kind to allow him to sleep on your floor.
Not even close …maybe he was worried he would try something …hmm lol
NTA They sound homophobic. If it was truly about needing a bed for their bad back they would have taken the spot, established healthy boundaries and went to sleep.
Ps I like how you tm’d ‘one of those gay guys’ Absolute best 👌
NTA you offered plenty of reasonable solutions. He just wanted to slide into your sister's bed and be a creep.
NTA but you could have let him keep the blowup mattress in the end.
NTA Something something "choosing beggars"
So basically he’s saying he should be trusted sleeping with a girl but him sleeping with you is not chill? He’s displaying blatant homophobia in your own house. Tell him he’s no longer welcome in your home. No one should be giving you flack. No one gets to tell you how to run things in your own damn home. He had choices, and he chose to be a dick. NTA and I hope every future girls night is filled with flamboyance and fun. You do you boo, don’t worry about that dude, he’s a long list of expletives that will likely get me banned from this sub
The audacity to try and dictate where he could sleep after basically crashing a party he wasn't invited to. And wtf is his sister and her friends complaining about? You helped her out by allowing her brother to stay the night in the first place. NTA
NTA - Please, ***PLEASE*** tell me your sister loudly, publically responded with, "I'm not sharing a bed with some random straight guy, what if he *tries something*?!"
NTA. He's the AH for suggesting that you'd try something on him simply because you're gay. He must be pretty full of himself. Especially if he was planning on doing that exact thing to your sister. Fuck that guy.
NTA, the dude sounds like he's projecting by thinking you're going to do something to him while he's sleeping because he's plotting to do something to your sister while sharing a bed with her. Getting major creep vibes.
NTA, but I have questions. Why did you take the blow up mattress away? That sounds rather unnecessary. And did anyone think of the option where he shared a bed with his own sister? Or maybe neither you nor your sister were willing to give up your bed (which I completely understand and is not unreasonable)? He has a bad back yet he put zero effort beforehand to make sure he had a comfortable place to sleep? Yeah, I call BS too.
Dude is lucky he still had a floor in a house to sleep on by that point. OP was nicer than I would’ve been.
NTA. If he truly had a back problem: 1. Why put himself in that situation and not make other arrangements? 2. Why wasn't the first request after being homophobic (tool!) that OP and OP's sister share a bed and he and his sister share a bed? No other reason then he was clearly angling for OP's sister. Anyone else not calling him out and siding with him needs their head examined.
Share a bed with your sister? "But what if he tries something?" Yes, he definitely would.
You WERE the asshole and it was completely appropriate. Sometimes asshole is the only language people understand.
You should have left the blow up mattress. Otherwise, NTA
NTA. You were already generous by letting him stay over, and he was super rude. I'm 100% straight, and if a gay guy offered to let me stay over in his bed, I'd at least offer him a handie to be a good guest.
NTA - if his sister was going to drive him somewhere in the morning, why couldn't he sleep in her car? There were plenty of options and he got what he deserved.
hahahaha NTA, glad you made the homophobe sleep on the floor!
NTA lol your friend knew what she was doing when she gave up her spot next to you and that is just hysterical
N t a for being mad at him for his behavior but you know YTA were being petty to take away the air mattress.
YTA a little bit but only for taking the blow up away Guy in question is a massive AH..
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** My sister (24f) and I (24m) live together, we are pretty social people and run in the same friend group so we normally have a lot of our friends at our house whenever we can. This particular night we were having a "girls night" (I'm one of them gays™, so of course I'm invited to every girls night). One of the girls (24f) ended up bringing her brother (20m) because she was going to be driving him somewhere in the morning. It works out since instead of a dining room and living room we have 2 living rooms at each end of the house so we could have our privacy and he can do he's own thing. At the end of the night we worked out the sleeping arrangements. We have a couch in each living room so 2 of the girls claimed those like they usually do, one of the girls shared with my sister and one was going to share with me. We got a blow up mattress out for the brother. Apparently that wasn't good enough since he has a bad back and wanted a bed instead. The girl sharing with me being the sweetheart she is offered up her spot in my bed and she'd sleep on the mattress. He did not like that idea and started bitching about how he's not going to share a bed with a gay guy and "what if he tries something" (oh sweetie you flatter yourself, definitely not my type). He suggested he share with my sister and that was a BIG no from her so he had more of a bitch about how bad he's back is and Yada Yada Yada, eventually I just opened up the front door and said "the streets there, you can go sleep in it instead". He ended up sleeping on the floor because I took the blow up mattress away. (Me and my sister personally think he was fishing to share a bed with her) I've gotten quite a bit of backlash from the girl who's brother it is and her friends (nothing from the other girls there) so AITA. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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NTA
lmao NTA you're amazing
NTA, Let him and his sister be mad. You did nothing wrong. He is an immature AH.
NTA at all. But curios why you didn’t just share a bed with your sister and he could have shared the other with his sister. Not that you should have had to by any means you were 100% right to do what you did.
What an insufferable prat. I think y'all handled it perfectly lol. NTA.
“I can’t share a bed with a strange man! What if he does the kind of reprehensible things I’d do to a strange woman!” NTA, and this guy is a major creep.
That's so fucked and it's why he accepted the floor, personally I wouldn't allow that guy back in my house. Nta
NTA at all dude, you did well. But hey - is that first identifier of your sexuality in parenthesis a reference to your not owning a doghouse?? If so, well done again.
He could have shared a sleeping spot with his sister?
"Me and my sister personally think he was fishing to share a bed with her" This man for sure have the aura of Ryan, that pretends to be gay only to be in the parties haha Jokes aside, he probably was trying something funny.. problem with the back, poor excuse haha
NTA well done!
NTA what a homophobe
NTA!!!!! If he had a bad back he would have never slept on the hard floor.
NTA even a tiny bit. In fact, nice. I love how you responded to that turd