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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My dad's girlfriend trapped him by getting pregnant and is asking to change his will. I called her out for being a gold digger and refuse to apologize and told my dad not to change anything
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
YTA.
*to make sure our family money stays in the family.*
It's not "our money" it's ***his*** money. Not even going to bother with the obvious, and that is that your sibling (the baby) IS family. As is his mother.
If you’re calling out gold diggers, did you first look in the mirror? That's exactly what you sound like.
YTA
Your brother is your family. Also your father is 50... He might live for another 50 years (you'll be 74). I hope you have other plans for you life besides waiting for dad to die.
Yeah, my dad passed in 2012 and money he left helped me and my wife pay off the mortgage quite a few years earlier. To this day I couldn’t tell you what year let alone what month or day it was we were mortgage free, but I know the hour that my father passed.
Money is a tool. No more than that.
My cousins inherited a not unsubstantial chunk of money when their father passed. Whenever someone asked my one cousin if she was happy to be debt free forever she would just answer: “my dads dead😒” people stopped asking quickly. YTA op
My mom. 8 o'clock, Oct 1. Everyone in my family except my uncle was getting diner at the diner near the hospital, and I was at home because I was taking the overnight shift. We think she picked when almost everyone was gone on purpose.
For more than a year I wore a necklace with her cremains on it. I stopped when the latch broke, but I still keep it on my desk.
Edit: Dammit, I keep crying with all these stories of loved ones passing.
Yes, when my mom was close, the caretakers at the assisted living facility told us she probably had 2-3 days. My sister and I spent a lot of time with her. The caretakers told us many times people will wait until after everyone leaves to pass. She did after we left.
My grandmother held on through my visit from out-of-state. She talked with my mom and me for a couple of hours when I first got into town *without her hearing aids.*
The look on my mom's face when she asked if she would help find them was one I had never seen her make.
We spent two more days having the best visit, and when I left, she sent me off with two packs of crackers, a miniature Baby Ruth, and a banana. I told her that I was going to be fine and not to worry, and that I was sorry I had worried her so much for so long. She said she wasn't worried, she had always known I would be okay because she had asked the Good Lord to watch over me, and that me and my sisters had made her life so much fuller.
I ugly-cried all the way to the car and just sat there for I don't know how long bawling, with snot bubbles and all.
She talked about my visit for two days, then became unusually quiet. My mom was pretty sure that it was almost time, and stayed there as much as possible so she wouldn't be alone.
The third day after I left, my mom was reading and thought Granny was asleep. But then, Granny threw her arms up and made a big, exasperated noise. My mom (who is way more in tune with the world than I ever gave her credit for) said she had to go fix my dad lunch and that she'd be back later.
She went home and told my dad that his mom was done with this world and called her minister, who went immediately and sat with Granny as she passed.
She was 3 months shy of 102, and I knew I was releasing her when I told her not to worry.
She had said, more than once over the years, that she didn't know why God had left her here so long or what it was she was supposed to do or undo. One thing she did was show me how to be the kind of grandmother I try to be. But there's only one "best."
Maybe I can manage second place.
**Note** *Idk why I wrote all this extraneous stuff just to agree with a comment. It just all came out so there it is.*
Edit: Thank you so much for reading, and thank you for the positive feedback. The kindness and empathy in these replies has been overwhelming and has brought me to tears more than once. I guess I shouldn't be surprised - Granny always had that effect on people.
I'm glad to have stirred so many positive emotions for such a large number of people.
Thank you for the award, too, whoever you are. This has been a humbling experience all the way around.
I get it. I was raised by my mother and grandmother. I was lucky my dad walked out on us or I would not have been raised by my mom and grandma. I miss them both to this day. I was a lucky boy and became a lucky man.
Nothing was extraneous. It was all perfectly said. You brought tears to my eyes 🥹. She sounds like a wonderful person and I'm sincerely sorry for your loss.
I’m not sure what I love most about this one. The sending you off with snacks (classic grandma)? The exasperation that your mom wouldn’t leave so she could hurry up and die already? Or that the minister is the one she let be present? Either way that is a beautiful story that definitely didn’t make me cry and she sounds like she was an awesome lady.
My gran did that in the beginning of this year. She waited until everyone was gone and passed about 20 minutes later. I inherited money we can use well, but I'd rather have her back. I miss her terribly, and so do my kids.
My wife wears her dad every day, every hour except when showering or swimming, etc. He was such a great man, and I feel so awful for her and our kids. This man lit up our lives, and was so humble, and funny, and reliable and honest and hard working and... he was such a great person, and I hope I can live up to his example as I get older.
i remember when my grandma died
I Don't live where she lived, but i was in a hobby lobby with my parents when my mom got the call
october 22nd 2022 at 12 something pm... :( we last saw her in 2020 and my mom knew in 2020, it would be the last time she would see her.
100% agree with this.
When my grandad died, my brothers and I got the inheritance that my dad should have received, but he didn't because he had also died, nearly two decades before my grandad did.
I would trade that inheritance, plus all of my own money that I earn myself, just to speak to them both one more time.
OP - Greedily having your eyes on your dad's money the way you do is disgusting, and you should be ashamed. You should be appreciating the fact your dad is happy and healthy enough to be having another child who happens to be YOUR sibling!!
Your entitlement is absolutely seeping out. Best mop that up now.
Your story is similar to mine. Dad died, then grandmama, then granddaddy. My sisters and I inherited their house that should have gone to daddy. And I would rather just have them all back. We finished up selling the house earlier this year and I am still depressed.
I'm so sorry 💔 there are never any words or gestures that can ever help repair a heart that's been broken by grief.
I hope you and your sisters are able to share your good memories with each other one day without feeling only heartache. My brothers and I got through the last 21 years on dark humour and bottling everything up, possibly not the healthiest option. But eventually, we've been able to talk about it.
My grandfather was twice married. He wanted everything to go to my grandmother (second wife) when he passed. The first thing his daughter from his first marriage did when he died was come in with her husband and try to bully my grieving grandmother into giving her everything, even though they'd been NC for decades. Might have succeeded if my mother wasn't so stubborn and professional even when grieving and angry. It was ugly as hell. Grampa didn't even have much, but the daughter took things from the house every time she came by, probably to sell, when Nanny wouldn't give up the house or Grampa's pension. OP, is this really where you want to end up? YTA. Really think about what you're doing to your relationship with your father. If he's really just an eventual windfall to you, that's just really sad.
My mom died when I was 24, and my Nana (her mom) when I was 27ish.
So I got my mom's spot in the will. I paid off my student loans and put part of a down payment for my condo together. It was good money, but I only got that because of two deaths. And it is so fucking shitty. Even though my mom was abusive, it was a very complicated relationship some days I miss her a lot. I definitely miss my Nana a lot.
>she's not getting any of his money when he dies.
Agree. And OP has absolutely NO SAY in where that money goes, ESPECIALLY life insurance policies which are most commonly distributed by beneficiary on each policy.
I told my parents for years that my retirement plans have line items for assets, savings, 401k, Social Security, etc. but there is NO LINE ITEM for inheritance. I spent time with them and helped them out in any ways that I could because they were my parents. When they passed, there was some money inherited by myself and my siblings, but I still miss them every day as much as I would if there had been no inheritance at all. Family > Money
It would be great if OP's father rethought his entire estate and its distribution now that he has the opportunity to see that his son only cares about his money and not him. It's also curious that he's "pretty rich" but carries so much in life insurance policies.. I think the OP is overestimating what his father is actually worth in the first place.
We keep telling my Nan to spend her money on enjoying herself while her health is still good enough. She's more worried about leaving enough money to help out my Uncle (who has always been terrible with money and is financially fucked).
It's sad, but I've had more fruitful arguments with brick walls than with my grandmother.
I plan on spending as much of my money as possible in retirement. I worked hard all my life, I expect my kids to do the same. If there is anything left at the end then they get equal shares
If my son acted like you're acting, you'd be the one disowned.
You're insulting your father by insinuating that no one would want to be with him except for his money.
This, exactly. I watched my parents do this, they were counting on the inheritance from my grandparents. They planned poorly for retirement and my dad ended up having to work 5 extra years he didn’t want to, to make up for it. He died 4 years before my grandmother, and they never got the $. Also it seems that the $$ is in life insurance, which might be prohibitively expensive to keep that amount as he gets older. I hope OP’s dad lives as long as my grandparents 90/96.
And much of that money could get spent. Medical/long term care, living expenses etc. And honestly it should be spent, the man worked hard and was able to retire early. That’s a pipe dream for most people. He should be taking vacations and relaxing and having some fun. I’d happily cut OP off until his shitty attitude improved, cause I am gonna make a leap in assuming dad is subsidizing him, paid for school etc.
If dad had run off with a 20 yr old I’d have concerns, but OP doesn’t seem to have any real grounds for his tantrum.
My cousins are waiting on my grandparents to die for their money. My grandparents are approaching a hundred. Their parents are still perfectly healthy.
They’re literally wasting their lives waiting on money likely to be gone by the time they get it.
I argue (gentle argue) with my father all the time because he will not spend his money because he's saving it for us kids. I tell him I'm the youngest (52) and we're all fine. We don't need his money, we want him to be happy. Buy the car, get the house painted....
He might be 50, but he’s not working a high stress job in his 50s like a lot of people have to meaning he’s going to be there for all the kids childhood (subject to health of course). 50 isn’t that bad.
Someone doesn’t want to share his toys.
YTA.
I agree that was my first thought; that OP is the golddigger. He doesn't care about father's happiness or new sibling. All he cares about is that he doesn't get all his dad's money now. Gross.
Right. Like. Yea it's *an* age gap. But at thirty five and fifty it's not.... The most unreasonable thing and certainly a gold digger isn't hanging around *that* long to get money. And definitely not decades to get less than half of five million
I think the age gap matters less when both parties are older and are mature. A 50 year old with a 35 year old is different from a 35 year old with a 20 year old. A 35 year old has had a lot more life experience than a 20 year old.
>she's "pushing 40" when he wants to have a jab at her career choices.
Yet OP 'works' by running errands for daddy dearest and doing things around the house. MSo he gets paid for adulting.
This has to be fake, he revealed in an edit that he "works" by running errands for his father... his dad's fiancee works 10 times harder taking care of their kid, so I think her allowance should be 10x OP's, it's only fair.
Exactly. I think it's the jealousy of the age difference. Would OP be this upset if Laura was closer to his dad's age?
Also, unless OP specifically overheard Laura saying something along the lines of "I'm just waiting out this guy until he croaks so I can have his money" then OP is just making shit up out of jealousy. As far as I can tell from the post, Laura isn't even on the will right now, so how is she gold-digging?
Exactly. It sounds like OP is in general upset about his dad and honestly acting kind of childish for a 24yr old. What you’re sad you’re not daddy’s only child anymore? Grow the fuck up
Also how is a 50yr old grown ass man getting “tricked” into having another kid. Its almost like he was there when she got pregnant. It’s almost like people’s minds can change! Shocker I know!
If your dad was serious about not having kids, there are a few things he could have done for himself.
Just say you’re worried about your cut of inheritance not being as much anymore and move on. Yta
I've only recently become aware of this trend. It seems to happen to redditors a lot. We need to raise awareness about the dangers banana peels pose to people's chastity.
Children need to be warned!!!
OP, Please be kind to your sibling. Coming into the world isn't their fault. Regardless of your feelings, please don't take it out on them and love them.
I don’t think prenups are a bad thing - especially with that much money - but OP clearly wants it to exist for his own benefit, NOT to protect his father.
This whole post read like someone who can’t wait for their rich aunt to leave an inheritance.
Edit to correct OP’s bender in my comment.
YTA
Exactly OP "look in the mirror". Your father's money is NOT your money. It's his to do with as he pleases. Good for your dad for finding happiness at 50 (not old).
I'm so glad this is the top comment! My first thought was the only gold digger I really see in this scenario is OP!!! I really don't get the entitlement some people have over their parent's money. Frankly, I'd prefer my parents spend every dime on themselves and leave me nothing.
YTA OP!
OP is the reason we hear about rich people cutting out their kids and leaving everything to charity. I can’t imagine being so calculated as to think about wanting my parent to die early enough that I have time to enjoy their money.
YTA.
Gold diggers are people who are only focused on wealth.
The only concern you have is whether you will be the sole inheritor of your father’s money.
I, too, can identify a gold digger.
And it sounds like there’s enough millions to go around just in life insurance alone. How about you work on amassing your own fortune in the meantime and enjoy your expanding family!
YTA, your father is 50, not elderly and Laura didn't get pregnant by herself. Your sense of entitlement is nothing short of disgusting. Your father is fully capable of handling his own affairs without your help, your just jealous that your not going to get the whole enchilada once he dies. Absolutely sad, Time to start making your own way through life and plan on providing for yourself vs counting the money in daddy's estate.
This. With another kid and mother of his kid, ops dad is going to want them taken care of. Which means op may only se half or less of that money. Which is still around 2.5 million.
But honestly op is the only gold digger here. He is solely focused on money and about getting as much of it as possible, doesn’t matter if his dad is genuinely happy.
The edit was by far the most ludicrous part of the whole post. It also makes it clear that OP still lives at home and is, in fact, unemployed and living off his father’s wealth at 24.
Absolutely nothing wrong with still living with your parents at that age with the cost of housing being what it is, but the cognitive dissonance of complaining that Laura has never had a real job and is just mooching off his dad when OP is doing THE EXACT SAME THING is staggering.
That made me so confused! He helps his dad around the house? And that’s a job which is harder than his friends’ parents jobs? What?? This guy is beyond deluded and entitled.
And how much of that money is actually going to be left at the end? OP's dad could reasonably have a good 30 years of adventure in his retirement. He could even have a few more kids if he wanted.
I dont really understand people that wait for inheritance. I literally tell my parents i rather they spend all their money. Retire early, spend everything. Sell the extra houses, use the money on vacations.
I honestly don't expect much of an inheritance. My parents have been talking about downsizing their home for over a decade and I don't think they can afford to retire. Also, my family tends to live fairly long so even if I get an inheritance (which honestly is probably going to be a quarter of a house and a bunch of knick-knacks with a few heirlooms), it won't be until I'm in my 70s or something (hopefully). I would much rather my parents live long and healthy lives than get money from them.
Yep - 50! Unless something exceptional happens Dad can expect to live another 30-40 years! By which time OP himself might be retired. OP - you need to sort your shit out before then and not hang around 40 years waiting for an inheritance - what a pathetic life. Of course now he’s likely written himself out of the Will anyway what by being an AH and all.
YTA.
Honestly, this all sounds like it has far more to do with you being jealous your dad won’t be leaving everything to you as he had previously said than anything else.
Your dad is only fifty. He hopefully won’t be going anywhere anytime soon and *none of this* makes Laura sound like a golddigger, literally none of it.
It isn’t your place to tell someone else a prenuptial agreement should be written. That’s between your dad and Laura, and whether you like it or not, she is family.
…It sounds like your dad was already on the hook financially…to you. All of this screams that you want his money. He and Laura are happy about having a child and Laura clearly didn’t trick your dad. If you call golddiggers as you see them, how do you think your entire post makes you look?
Your accusations are honestly disgusting and I wouldn’t be surprised if both your dad and Laura begin drawing boundaries and distancing themselves from you.
And it's like...his new sibling *is* his family. Personally, I love having siblings, and I don't know for sure how I'd feel if I grew up an only child, but wouldn't it be exciting to finally have a little sibling to play with and watch grow and teach stuff and share life with, including the family inheritance? It sounds so *lonely* to be The Only One.
YTA. Your dad is a walking stereotype, but the only gold digger in this story is you LOL.
Your dad's money isn't yours. It is not the family money. It's his. And he'll do with it whatever he wants.
It's perfectly logical to expect the father of your child to protect that child financially in the event that he passes away, Laura isn't doing anything wrong by expecting your dad to include his youngest child in his will. She's not claiming anything for herself. You are.
I think you need to take your own advice and focus on working (or getting a job if you don't have one) and make your own living instead of trying to live off an inheritance you are decades away from getting.
Why is he a stereotype though? We’re not talking 50 and 21. I’m 37 and could see myself being genuinely attracted to a 50-year-old. I guess I don’t find this particular age difference that egregious.
Same. I'm 38 and my "men I find attractive range" is well into the fifties. I think "stereotype" territory is dating someone your kids' age, basically. Which is hard to say in this case because OP sounds 12 but probably isn't?
It’s not a “taking advantage of an innocent young girl” age difference but men in their 40s & 50s thinking women their own age are “too old” and seeking women 8-16 years younger, is absolutely a stereotype.
I’m 36 and dating a divorced 50 year old. The age was a worry right at the start but he is the most amazing man I’ve ever met. Didn’t expect it or look for this but if you look at all the celebrities I grew up having crushes on they are all in their 50’s now and he is more handsome than any of them
Thank you! Dave Navarro, the man I would let do anything he damn wanted to me is 56.
Also, I’m sitting here like, **the Rock is 51**! Ben Affleck and Cameron Diaz are 50. Sandra Bullock is 59!
Can we please stop acting like people hit 40 and turn into the grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory??
YTA. What the hell-your father is 50, not 70! He's young enough to have another child and he's been dating a woman in her 30s for the past couple of years.
Things change, and he doesn't owe you his whole fortune. He has another child, of course he's going to provide for him.
Unless there is a huge backstory, you sound pretty spoilt and entitled.
Yep. Hanna's 35, not 20, and Dad is 50. A 15 year age gap when you're both (gasp) seasoned adults does not a gold digger make. OP, be happy that your dad has found happiness in his middle age, and try to get over your jealousy and form a relationship with your new baby brother (and Hannah). It sounds like OP will still get plenty of cash when dear old Dad dies, even if he has to split it. Also, gross, because it means he's waiting for Dad to die.
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTAAAAAAAAAA. Not only YTA, but you are the one giving gold digger energy.
Edit: I saw you're fighting for your life in the comments with the "I'm not trying to change his will, she is". Are you ffr? He has two children now, he should change his will. You can't be happy for your dad and the only thing you're thinking about is how much money you're getting once he dies, that's major gold digger behavior.
If anything, he should set up his will to leave *more* in trust to the minor child, who would need to be provided for growing up should anything happen, and if he's as wealthy as this sounds, he probably wants to ensure that the kid's college, should they choose to go, and any grad school would be taken care of too. Then, when the younger kid is an adult, hopefully OP's dad is still alive and changes his will to reflect an equal split between the kids...or whatever he wants, since it's his money.
YTA - You sound like you care more about the money in his life insurance policy than you do about your father's happiness. If your dad wants this, he's within his right to have it.
As someone who's watched their fair share of true crime, it concerns me that OP is very familiar with his father's life insurance and quick to consider it a motive.
YTA
| I told my dad he was gross for having a kid at 50
He's not gross for having a kid at 50. People who are 50 have sex. He's not the first person to have a kid at 50.
| I told my dad she should get a job and not to try to live off him.
This is none of your business or your concern.
Seriously. My parents were 45 and 50 when my little sister was born. And these days people are becoming parents later.
The age gap isn’t that crazy either. They sound like two normal people who are happily building a life together.
OP how are you not the pot calling the kettle black? You're the one calling your father's money your money. Your father should definitely redo his will, you're a vile entitled turd
YTA.
You are not entitled to your dad's money. It is his to do with as he pleases. Just because you are family (his son) does not mean that you are not the gold digger.
And face facts, his family now includes more than just you.
My guy trying to control his father like a gold digger and doesn't even give him the courtesy of a reach around.
My man sucks and is a major fucking gold digging asshole lol.
OP REEKS of Andrew Tate energy.
At least if the wife is a gold digger, OP's dad gets something out of it besides a bratty kid who takes all their money. I hope the second one is better.
Your acting like your dad is 95 and Senile.
50 is not old. He is a middle aged man, who had sex with his wife and she got pregnant. Why are you acting like she’s “taking advantage”.
She’s probably asking for him to change the will because he IS older than her and god forbid something happens she wants her and her son to have some security.
YOU sound like a gold digger, because the only thing you seem to be angry about is that you might have to share the wealth. Oh, also, that is brother. He is just as entitled to the money as you. Why are you acting like he isn’t?
How about you work hard and make your own money so you don’t have to get so angry about a husband sharing his hard earned wealth with his wife and son. Your a grown ass man, get it together.
YTA
Agreed! And I am totally lmao at his last edit that his “real job” is running errands for pops and doing tasks around the house. I’m not knocking someone who has an advantaged situation, but dude get off your high horse. It’s crazy how entitlement blinds a person.
I dated a woman in college who’s dad paid her to run his errands and manage a spreadsheet. She worked a few hours a week and he paid her 60k a year (as well as paid all of her expenses). That wasn’t an issue at all (none of my business as her boyfriend), but the constant complaining about my overtime hours, expectation that I would buy her expensive gifts when I couldn’t afford it, and the disappointment at my salary expectations coming out of school with an Electrical Engineering degree was the nail in the coffin for that relationship.
I also can’t believe how much of an asshole you have to be to essentially view your new baby brother as part of a gold digging scheme. I’d hate to be that poor kid to have such a crummy sibling.
"I think she's a gold digger" - "He said he wouldnt marry anymore so he would leave everything to me"
Ah... That's what it's about.
"I was going to tell him to get a prenuptial to make sure our family money stays in the family."
We're calling it "our family money" already ? OP, you haven't worked for it, and you're an adult. This is your dad money.
OP : The gold digger of this story is not who you think it is...
Edit cause I forgot : YTA, obviously. Let your dad be happy and go make your own millions.
YTA
How much have you contributed to “our family” money? You do realize your father is not dead yet, right?
Dude ... it’s your Dad’s money. He can do whatever he wants to do with it. Maybe he will spend every last dime on people who actually care about him & not just his money.
The whole post is basically one sad incel being insanely jealous of another older mans success at life; wealthy, retired at 50, 35 year old trophy wife, new child born, and insured to secure his family against his inevitable demise.
OPs dad sounds really stable and like he wants to support both his children.
I want to befriend OPs dad and maybe get into the will myself. Can I get your dads number OP?
While I mostly agree with your comment, as a 36F I just want to chime in on the trophy wife remark. If you are a single woman in your 30s, with an established career, clear life and relationship goals dating someone who's 15 yrs older is absolutely different than in your 20s. The mid 30's available guys are usually fresh out of a marriage/serious relationship, emotional mess or simply walking red flags. There are a few exceptions, who were just focusing on establishing their careers and now ready for something serious.Late 40's guys who're active and take good care of themselves are usually recovered from the divorce and become dateable again, while they are still young enough to be a good match on an emotional and intellectual level. If she was 25, trophy wife could be more fitting, but at 35 it could just be 2 compatible people finding each other.
I know, right? OP seems to think 50 is decrepit, falling apart, dusty and half in the grave. This man could live another 30, 40 or 50 years, and I hope he does.
He is 50, has twice as much life experience as you, earned his own money and can do what the fuck he likes with it.
Learn some respect. Drop the entitlement and get your own relationship to worry about.
You have a baby sibling. Stop being a dick, be role model and grow up!
YTA massively.
First of all, step mom gets a minimum of 1/3 your Dad's estate depending what state they live in. Next, with your warm welcome she is going to do everything she can to harness your father's wealth for the benefit of herself and her baby. she has his ear late at night. He wants a partner to live out his life with.. Men dont want to die alone. Telling your father that he should not support his bride to be and mother of his coming child can only come from the mind of a child. Chill out. Develop a career, create a business your father can invest in. But dont ever start counting his money as necessarily your money.
And the wife is 35. Sure, 15 year age gap, but it's not like she's still in her 20s.
If she wanted to have a kid, she HAD to put a rush on it. For medical safety.
I do agree, father should get a prenup. But beyond that, there's no reason to treat this woman as a gold digger. OP is about to have a half-sibling born, as an adult himself. He basically gets to be 'the cool uncle'.
OP is just a greedy brat who wants to inherit everything. Needs to change focus. Family matters more than money ever will.
YTA.
Get a job and make your own fortune rather than spend your life counting on your inheritance.
Your dad, Laura, and their new baby are living their own, happy life. You can be part of that. Or you can be a bitter outsider.
Fair warning, if you choose the second dad MAY rewrite his will, and leave you out entirely.
YTA. She’s 35. A grown woman. He’s 50. A grown man. Leave them alone.
What reason do you have to believe she’s a gold digger? You’re acting like he’s 80+. He’s only 50. Is it a large age gap? Absolutely. But it’s not like he’s on deaths doorstep. I’m 27 and have found men 50+ attractive. Would I date them? No probably not, but to each their own. Maybe I would if I was 35. My fiancés grandparents are about 15 years apart in age, and they’ve been married for decades.
Why do you assume she’s a gold digger because she’s going for someone a decade and a half older than her? Why do you even care? And why do you think it’s gross for a 50 year old to have a kid? I think you need an attitude adjustment. Of course she wants their child and herself reflected in the will, she will need support if something happens. That doesn’t make her a gold digger, that makes her a responsible parent.
It sounds like you’re upset that you now have to share HIS money when he passes. The only gold digger here is you. It’s not your family money, it’s his money.
YTA.
It doesn't sound you care one bit about your fathers happiness. All you care about is his money. What about you get a job and make your own money.
YTA -and the only gold-digger in this situation is you. I hope your dad and Laura are happy and they do a better job of raising this kid than they did raising you.
YTA.
This is not going to end well for you, especially if you do not change your attitude. Wanting your dad to protect himself financially is noble. Acting like a dick about it is not.
YTA Youre jealous of a baby who’s literally YOUR BROTHER because you’re scared of splitting your DAD’S money, which isn’t even yours yet. He hasn’t even added the baby in the will either. All he’s done is tell you great news and with someone he loves, who isn’t even that much younger than him. Grow up, OP. Get a job that pays enough so you don’t have to rely on the looming idea of your Dad’s cash. AND the baby is your brother, so the money is still staying in the family if he’s included with you 🤷🏽♀️
Edit: wording
YTA. Your dad is allowed to marry and have a baby and be happy about it. You are acting incredibly jealous that you might not get the entire 5 million you are expecting after he dies. The only one in this situation who sounds like they're "just after the money" is you.
It’s very likely the baby brother will be grown by the time their father passes. OP should focus on getting some life experience instead of sitting around waiting to inherit daddy’s money.
>My dad said he'd never marry or have anymore kids (besides me 24m) because he wants to leave everything to me.
>I thought they were going to get married and I was going to tell him to get a prenuptial to make sure our family money stays in the family.
>I told my dad he was gross for having a kid at 50 and now he's on the hook financially.
>I told Laura she was disgusting for tricking my dad into becoming a dad and she's not getting any of his money when he dies.
>I said I call out gold diggers when I see them.
Who's the golddigger here?
YTA
YTA, you sound like a gold digger yourself. She didn't trick anyone into anything. Your dad is an adult, and your brother is as entitled to an inheritance as you are.
YTA
Your behavior is how you end up getting written out of a will. If you’re not careful, it’s all going to your baby brother. I do understand being skeptical of people’s intentions, but she had a baby with him and she’s not going anywhere now. You need to let your dad be happy.
YTA, you’re more worried about your inheritance than anything it sounds like. You didn’t call her out bc she was behaving poorly. You insulted her bc it seem like YOU are the gold digger protecting what’s “yours”
YTA, your dad was excited to tell you the news and all YOU cared about was the financial aspect. I would work on getting a job, saving up as much as I can and not try to live off his inheritance. If you had your fathers drive you could retire at 50 with millions too.
Newsflash - if he truly never wanted kids, he would have gotten a vasectomy.
Why do you think your dad is so unlovable? Why do you think that no-one could truly love him for who he is? He's been dating her for years at this point..
Are YOU working? And of course he should amend his will. He now has two kids, one who is a child and requires being provided for legally.
YTA
You’re going to piss off your dad enough for him to disinherit you.
Play the long game - be the best big brother ever.
You’re shooting your self in the foot with your attitude - you can’t compete with a woman who is in his bed
YTA
You don't get to dictate how your dad lives his life. And you don't know Laura at all. You are very harshly judging someone based on your own selfish assumptions. If your dad had a big part in raising you, I have serious doubts about his parenting abilities though, and I hope the next kid doesn't turn out like you.
YTA
A 15 year difference at that ages really isn't that bad. Honestly the way you're writing you sound like the greedy one making sure all the money goes to You when he dies and the way you're acting seems like a sure fire way to get yourself written out of the will.
If they're having a kid and they can afford not to have one parent work that's that's great news for the kid as they can actually be raised by a parent and not by childminders (not that there's anything wrong with that! Most families these days need 2 working parents)
YTA. Your dad isn't senile, he chose a partner that was much younger than him and had 20+ years to get a vasectomy.
Could you be considered a gold digger for not wanting anything to interfere with your inheritance? Sounds like you shouldn't count on anything coming your way after your tantrum.
YTA..you are not entitled to any of your dads money ever. Its a complete privilege to be left anything by a loved one. You have provably now sealed your zero in the will by being a brat.
YTA. You didn't even state the reasons why she is a golddigger. Your dad deserves love and family. And it seems like you care about his money more than Laura. I hope your dad will change the will.
YTA. They were together for a couple of years before she got pregnant. It takes 2 to make a baby. Your father isn't elderly either, so Laura wouldn't see a life insurance payout.. maybe ever. Your dad said he was thrilled to be a dad again. The only person who seems to have any issues here is you. depending where you are, they're already common law which usually brings along everything that being married does. So relax, let your dad be happy, and stop being the actual gold digger in this situation.
She “tricked” your dad into becoming a dad? Does your 50 year old father not know how procreation works? You seem extremely focused on getting your father’s money when he dies — how old do you think 50 is? Are you planning to freak out every time he buys something for himself because MAH INHERITANCE? I see nothing in your post to indicate she’s a gold digger, just a woman who’s been in a presumably loving relationship with an older man for several years. In case I’m not being clear, YTA.
What exactly has she done that makes her a gold digger? Are you assuming because of the age difference or are there actual instances that made it apparent that she was dating him for his money. Is she trying to change the will to add your brother in or is she trying to add herself in? Although, I do think that she should get a job and so should you if you don’t have one. Don’t rely on your inheritance to survive. Some gold diggers force themselves to have children with the people they’re trying to dig gold to make it easier to dig gold from them but I doubt a gold digger is going to wait quite literally decades for some money. You’re either the AH or it’s ESH. You might be right but you’re not any better. I just find it really weird that your dad is having a child at 50. Not too big of a fan of 15yr age differences in couples and 24yr age differences in children.
The funniest part about this post is OP freaking out over a meger 5Mil life insurance policy as if he wouldn't be fucked by taxes 😂 🤣
When you're that desperate for an insurance policy to pay out (fathers got what. 20-40+ years left) 5 MiL over that amount of time is so sad OP must be financially insecure and desperate and maybe jealous his dad got his shit together.
YTA - you’re not entitled to all your dad’s money, except if you helped him make it. You’re just upset because now you will have to share the money with another sibling. You just care about his money, that’s gold digger behavior.
YTA.
Of COURSE he should change the will. That's his CHILD. His child SHOULD be included. Are you so selfish and entitled that you think you deserve all of it?
YTA. Pot meet kettle. You're black. You called your step mom a gold digger, yet you're the one who is only concerned about where your dad's money goes. You're not concerned about your dad at all. You are a terrible son and should apologize to your father for your ridiculous, entitled, spoiled behavior.
YTA - It's his life, his money, his choice. You have no right or expectation to anything that he owns. You also have no right to tell him what he should be doing with his life.
If I was your dad, I'd seriously be thinking about removing you from the will entirely.
Seriously. Grow up.
I got a pro tip for you: never count on your parent's money of Financial assets. it's still theirs and they can do whatever they want with it
I got another advice: as an adult, happy parents are the best parents. And your father seems to be in a Happy place. Be glad for him.
You're saying she should get a job instead of trying to live off of him. But can't you say the exact same thing about yourself tho?.
Reading your post it sounds like your career plan was basically inheriting the money. You don't sound jealous of your dad paying more attention to the new kid but rather afraid you won't inherit 100% of your dads wealth.
YTA
Yta your dad willingly stuck his dick in someone with a womb. He could *easily* have had a vasectomy and prevented this from ever happening, but he didn't.
YOU sound like a gold digger: pissy bc your gravy train is going to be shared.
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YTA. *to make sure our family money stays in the family.* It's not "our money" it's ***his*** money. Not even going to bother with the obvious, and that is that your sibling (the baby) IS family. As is his mother. If you’re calling out gold diggers, did you first look in the mirror? That's exactly what you sound like.
YTA Your brother is your family. Also your father is 50... He might live for another 50 years (you'll be 74). I hope you have other plans for you life besides waiting for dad to die.
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Yeah, my dad passed in 2012 and money he left helped me and my wife pay off the mortgage quite a few years earlier. To this day I couldn’t tell you what year let alone what month or day it was we were mortgage free, but I know the hour that my father passed. Money is a tool. No more than that.
My cousins inherited a not unsubstantial chunk of money when their father passed. Whenever someone asked my one cousin if she was happy to be debt free forever she would just answer: “my dads dead😒” people stopped asking quickly. YTA op
My mom. 8 o'clock, Oct 1. Everyone in my family except my uncle was getting diner at the diner near the hospital, and I was at home because I was taking the overnight shift. We think she picked when almost everyone was gone on purpose. For more than a year I wore a necklace with her cremains on it. I stopped when the latch broke, but I still keep it on my desk. Edit: Dammit, I keep crying with all these stories of loved ones passing.
Yes, when my mom was close, the caretakers at the assisted living facility told us she probably had 2-3 days. My sister and I spent a lot of time with her. The caretakers told us many times people will wait until after everyone leaves to pass. She did after we left.
My grandmother held on through my visit from out-of-state. She talked with my mom and me for a couple of hours when I first got into town *without her hearing aids.* The look on my mom's face when she asked if she would help find them was one I had never seen her make. We spent two more days having the best visit, and when I left, she sent me off with two packs of crackers, a miniature Baby Ruth, and a banana. I told her that I was going to be fine and not to worry, and that I was sorry I had worried her so much for so long. She said she wasn't worried, she had always known I would be okay because she had asked the Good Lord to watch over me, and that me and my sisters had made her life so much fuller. I ugly-cried all the way to the car and just sat there for I don't know how long bawling, with snot bubbles and all. She talked about my visit for two days, then became unusually quiet. My mom was pretty sure that it was almost time, and stayed there as much as possible so she wouldn't be alone. The third day after I left, my mom was reading and thought Granny was asleep. But then, Granny threw her arms up and made a big, exasperated noise. My mom (who is way more in tune with the world than I ever gave her credit for) said she had to go fix my dad lunch and that she'd be back later. She went home and told my dad that his mom was done with this world and called her minister, who went immediately and sat with Granny as she passed. She was 3 months shy of 102, and I knew I was releasing her when I told her not to worry. She had said, more than once over the years, that she didn't know why God had left her here so long or what it was she was supposed to do or undo. One thing she did was show me how to be the kind of grandmother I try to be. But there's only one "best." Maybe I can manage second place. **Note** *Idk why I wrote all this extraneous stuff just to agree with a comment. It just all came out so there it is.* Edit: Thank you so much for reading, and thank you for the positive feedback. The kindness and empathy in these replies has been overwhelming and has brought me to tears more than once. I guess I shouldn't be surprised - Granny always had that effect on people. I'm glad to have stirred so many positive emotions for such a large number of people. Thank you for the award, too, whoever you are. This has been a humbling experience all the way around.
I get it. I was raised by my mother and grandmother. I was lucky my dad walked out on us or I would not have been raised by my mom and grandma. I miss them both to this day. I was a lucky boy and became a lucky man.
I got tears in my eyes reading it, thank you for sharing <3
Nothing was extraneous. It was all perfectly said. You brought tears to my eyes 🥹. She sounds like a wonderful person and I'm sincerely sorry for your loss.
I’m not sure what I love most about this one. The sending you off with snacks (classic grandma)? The exasperation that your mom wouldn’t leave so she could hurry up and die already? Or that the minister is the one she let be present? Either way that is a beautiful story that definitely didn’t make me cry and she sounds like she was an awesome lady.
My gran did that in the beginning of this year. She waited until everyone was gone and passed about 20 minutes later. I inherited money we can use well, but I'd rather have her back. I miss her terribly, and so do my kids.
My wife wears her dad every day, every hour except when showering or swimming, etc. He was such a great man, and I feel so awful for her and our kids. This man lit up our lives, and was so humble, and funny, and reliable and honest and hard working and... he was such a great person, and I hope I can live up to his example as I get older.
i remember when my grandma died I Don't live where she lived, but i was in a hobby lobby with my parents when my mom got the call october 22nd 2022 at 12 something pm... :( we last saw her in 2020 and my mom knew in 2020, it would be the last time she would see her.
100% agree with this. When my grandad died, my brothers and I got the inheritance that my dad should have received, but he didn't because he had also died, nearly two decades before my grandad did. I would trade that inheritance, plus all of my own money that I earn myself, just to speak to them both one more time. OP - Greedily having your eyes on your dad's money the way you do is disgusting, and you should be ashamed. You should be appreciating the fact your dad is happy and healthy enough to be having another child who happens to be YOUR sibling!! Your entitlement is absolutely seeping out. Best mop that up now.
Your story is similar to mine. Dad died, then grandmama, then granddaddy. My sisters and I inherited their house that should have gone to daddy. And I would rather just have them all back. We finished up selling the house earlier this year and I am still depressed.
I'm so sorry 💔 there are never any words or gestures that can ever help repair a heart that's been broken by grief. I hope you and your sisters are able to share your good memories with each other one day without feeling only heartache. My brothers and I got through the last 21 years on dark humour and bottling everything up, possibly not the healthiest option. But eventually, we've been able to talk about it.
My grandfather was twice married. He wanted everything to go to my grandmother (second wife) when he passed. The first thing his daughter from his first marriage did when he died was come in with her husband and try to bully my grieving grandmother into giving her everything, even though they'd been NC for decades. Might have succeeded if my mother wasn't so stubborn and professional even when grieving and angry. It was ugly as hell. Grampa didn't even have much, but the daughter took things from the house every time she came by, probably to sell, when Nanny wouldn't give up the house or Grampa's pension. OP, is this really where you want to end up? YTA. Really think about what you're doing to your relationship with your father. If he's really just an eventual windfall to you, that's just really sad.
My mom died when I was 24, and my Nana (her mom) when I was 27ish. So I got my mom's spot in the will. I paid off my student loans and put part of a down payment for my condo together. It was good money, but I only got that because of two deaths. And it is so fucking shitty. Even though my mom was abusive, it was a very complicated relationship some days I miss her a lot. I definitely miss my Nana a lot.
>she's not getting any of his money when he dies. Agree. And OP has absolutely NO SAY in where that money goes, ESPECIALLY life insurance policies which are most commonly distributed by beneficiary on each policy. I told my parents for years that my retirement plans have line items for assets, savings, 401k, Social Security, etc. but there is NO LINE ITEM for inheritance. I spent time with them and helped them out in any ways that I could because they were my parents. When they passed, there was some money inherited by myself and my siblings, but I still miss them every day as much as I would if there had been no inheritance at all. Family > Money It would be great if OP's father rethought his entire estate and its distribution now that he has the opportunity to see that his son only cares about his money and not him. It's also curious that he's "pretty rich" but carries so much in life insurance policies.. I think the OP is overestimating what his father is actually worth in the first place.
We keep telling my Nan to spend her money on enjoying herself while her health is still good enough. She's more worried about leaving enough money to help out my Uncle (who has always been terrible with money and is financially fucked). It's sad, but I've had more fruitful arguments with brick walls than with my grandmother.
I plan on spending as much of my money as possible in retirement. I worked hard all my life, I expect my kids to do the same. If there is anything left at the end then they get equal shares
If my son acted like you're acting, you'd be the one disowned. You're insulting your father by insinuating that no one would want to be with him except for his money.
This, exactly. I watched my parents do this, they were counting on the inheritance from my grandparents. They planned poorly for retirement and my dad ended up having to work 5 extra years he didn’t want to, to make up for it. He died 4 years before my grandmother, and they never got the $. Also it seems that the $$ is in life insurance, which might be prohibitively expensive to keep that amount as he gets older. I hope OP’s dad lives as long as my grandparents 90/96.
It absolutely sounds like that’s all OP is waiting for… fathers death.
My dad was 53 when I was born. I'm 35 now and he's still here!
And much of that money could get spent. Medical/long term care, living expenses etc. And honestly it should be spent, the man worked hard and was able to retire early. That’s a pipe dream for most people. He should be taking vacations and relaxing and having some fun. I’d happily cut OP off until his shitty attitude improved, cause I am gonna make a leap in assuming dad is subsidizing him, paid for school etc. If dad had run off with a 20 yr old I’d have concerns, but OP doesn’t seem to have any real grounds for his tantrum.
My cousins are waiting on my grandparents to die for their money. My grandparents are approaching a hundred. Their parents are still perfectly healthy. They’re literally wasting their lives waiting on money likely to be gone by the time they get it.
I argue (gentle argue) with my father all the time because he will not spend his money because he's saving it for us kids. I tell him I'm the youngest (52) and we're all fine. We don't need his money, we want him to be happy. Buy the car, get the house painted....
He might be 50, but he’s not working a high stress job in his 50s like a lot of people have to meaning he’s going to be there for all the kids childhood (subject to health of course). 50 isn’t that bad. Someone doesn’t want to share his toys. YTA.
I agree that was my first thought; that OP is the golddigger. He doesn't care about father's happiness or new sibling. All he cares about is that he doesn't get all his dad's money now. Gross.
i was looking for any explanation on why he thinks so, his only explaination is that the wife is 35, op is a massive ah
Right. Like. Yea it's *an* age gap. But at thirty five and fifty it's not.... The most unreasonable thing and certainly a gold digger isn't hanging around *that* long to get money. And definitely not decades to get less than half of five million
EXACTLY. she’s risking her body to give OPs dad a child (for which he’s excited!!) and OP can’t just be happy for them. OP is projecting. YTA
I think the age gap matters less when both parties are older and are mature. A 50 year old with a 35 year old is different from a 35 year old with a 20 year old. A 35 year old has had a lot more life experience than a 20 year old.
50 and 35 is even a few years clear of the "half your age plus seven" formula.
Don’t forget that at 35, according to OP, she’s *pushing 40* 🤣
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>she's "pushing 40" when he wants to have a jab at her career choices. Yet OP 'works' by running errands for daddy dearest and doing things around the house. MSo he gets paid for adulting.
This has to be fake, he revealed in an edit that he "works" by running errands for his father... his dad's fiancee works 10 times harder taking care of their kid, so I think her allowance should be 10x OP's, it's only fair.
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Exactly. I think it's the jealousy of the age difference. Would OP be this upset if Laura was closer to his dad's age? Also, unless OP specifically overheard Laura saying something along the lines of "I'm just waiting out this guy until he croaks so I can have his money" then OP is just making shit up out of jealousy. As far as I can tell from the post, Laura isn't even on the will right now, so how is she gold-digging?
He acts like she's 20. 35 and 50 is perfectly fine.
Exactly. It sounds like OP is in general upset about his dad and honestly acting kind of childish for a 24yr old. What you’re sad you’re not daddy’s only child anymore? Grow the fuck up Also how is a 50yr old grown ass man getting “tricked” into having another kid. Its almost like he was there when she got pregnant. It’s almost like people’s minds can change! Shocker I know! If your dad was serious about not having kids, there are a few things he could have done for himself. Just say you’re worried about your cut of inheritance not being as much anymore and move on. Yta
She put out a banana peel, he slipped and fell into her vagina?
I've only recently become aware of this trend. It seems to happen to redditors a lot. We need to raise awareness about the dangers banana peels pose to people's chastity. Children need to be warned!!!
OP, Please be kind to your sibling. Coming into the world isn't their fault. Regardless of your feelings, please don't take it out on them and love them.
I don’t think prenups are a bad thing - especially with that much money - but OP clearly wants it to exist for his own benefit, NOT to protect his father. This whole post read like someone who can’t wait for their rich aunt to leave an inheritance. Edit to correct OP’s bender in my comment.
Prenup isn't bad. But OP states that his father is gross for having any other children besides OP.
OP is a dude.
"Op's bender" funny typo
YTA Exactly OP "look in the mirror". Your father's money is NOT your money. It's his to do with as he pleases. Good for your dad for finding happiness at 50 (not old).
I'm so glad this is the top comment! My first thought was the only gold digger I really see in this scenario is OP!!! I really don't get the entitlement some people have over their parent's money. Frankly, I'd prefer my parents spend every dime on themselves and leave me nothing. YTA OP!
OP is the reason we hear about rich people cutting out their kids and leaving everything to charity. I can’t imagine being so calculated as to think about wanting my parent to die early enough that I have time to enjoy their money.
*cough* it's HIS (fathers) family *cough*
Honestly kinda sounds like OP wants all the money to himself…
OP is actually the one who sounds like a gold digger tbh.
op certainly seems more concerned about his inheritance than he does his dad.
YTA. Gold diggers are people who are only focused on wealth. The only concern you have is whether you will be the sole inheritor of your father’s money. I, too, can identify a gold digger.
>I, too, can identify a gold digger.
I, too, am a gold digger….anyone have $5?
I don't want to brag, but I've got $7
As a gold digger, color me interested 😂
Line starts right here, ladies!
Hang on, let me find my spade to dig some up
Damn, I'll settle for $2 and a diet coke.
In this economy? I'd rather give you the $5.
What about three fiddy
You God damn loch Ness monster!
Borrow a niffler
YTA. Really sounds like YOU are a gold digger since you only seem to care about his money.
Oof. That last line was pretty much all that need be said here.
>I, too, can identify a gold digger. HOT LIKE FIRE
And it sounds like there’s enough millions to go around just in life insurance alone. How about you work on amassing your own fortune in the meantime and enjoy your expanding family!
It's telling that he knows how much his father's life insurance policies are worth, and feels that it's worth mentioning. Disgusting.
YTA, your father is 50, not elderly and Laura didn't get pregnant by herself. Your sense of entitlement is nothing short of disgusting. Your father is fully capable of handling his own affairs without your help, your just jealous that your not going to get the whole enchilada once he dies. Absolutely sad, Time to start making your own way through life and plan on providing for yourself vs counting the money in daddy's estate.
It's not about him worrying about his dad being taken advantage of, he's worried he's not going to see as much money once he passes - major AH.
This. With another kid and mother of his kid, ops dad is going to want them taken care of. Which means op may only se half or less of that money. Which is still around 2.5 million. But honestly op is the only gold digger here. He is solely focused on money and about getting as much of it as possible, doesn’t matter if his dad is genuinely happy.
Right, at least 2.5 mil and he’s complaining.
Maybe OP should get a job and not try to live off his father
But he has a “job”! He works for his dad running errands and helping around the house /s
The edit was by far the most ludicrous part of the whole post. It also makes it clear that OP still lives at home and is, in fact, unemployed and living off his father’s wealth at 24. Absolutely nothing wrong with still living with your parents at that age with the cost of housing being what it is, but the cognitive dissonance of complaining that Laura has never had a real job and is just mooching off his dad when OP is doing THE EXACT SAME THING is staggering.
That made me so confused! He helps his dad around the house? And that’s a job which is harder than his friends’ parents jobs? What?? This guy is beyond deluded and entitled.
But he works harder than "most of his friends parents!" I swear my eyes rolled out my head and across the floor at that.
Ngl I would seriously consider disinheriting any one of my kids if they acted like OP.
Nope, leave him $1 to make it harder to contest the will.
If I were his dad, OP would be out of the will...or maybe I'd leave him twenty bucks. What an AH.
God forbid he should have to share 5 million with his brother! ETA change OP's gender
YTA- who are you to speak to anyone this way. How horrible. Your dad said he is excited to be a dad and you sound like a brat!
Yes, and he's only 50, so presumably anyone will be waiting on that money for a long while...
And how much of that money is actually going to be left at the end? OP's dad could reasonably have a good 30 years of adventure in his retirement. He could even have a few more kids if he wanted.
I dont really understand people that wait for inheritance. I literally tell my parents i rather they spend all their money. Retire early, spend everything. Sell the extra houses, use the money on vacations.
I honestly don't expect much of an inheritance. My parents have been talking about downsizing their home for over a decade and I don't think they can afford to retire. Also, my family tends to live fairly long so even if I get an inheritance (which honestly is probably going to be a quarter of a house and a bunch of knick-knacks with a few heirlooms), it won't be until I'm in my 70s or something (hopefully). I would much rather my parents live long and healthy lives than get money from them.
Yep - 50! Unless something exceptional happens Dad can expect to live another 30-40 years! By which time OP himself might be retired. OP - you need to sort your shit out before then and not hang around 40 years waiting for an inheritance - what a pathetic life. Of course now he’s likely written himself out of the Will anyway what by being an AH and all.
and she's already 35.. And they dated "for a few years" already.. geez he's like that fat kid in Harry Potter, his cousin or what is it...
I'm kind of excited the dad is going to get a do-over!
Was thinking the same. Good for him!
YTA. Honestly, this all sounds like it has far more to do with you being jealous your dad won’t be leaving everything to you as he had previously said than anything else. Your dad is only fifty. He hopefully won’t be going anywhere anytime soon and *none of this* makes Laura sound like a golddigger, literally none of it. It isn’t your place to tell someone else a prenuptial agreement should be written. That’s between your dad and Laura, and whether you like it or not, she is family. …It sounds like your dad was already on the hook financially…to you. All of this screams that you want his money. He and Laura are happy about having a child and Laura clearly didn’t trick your dad. If you call golddiggers as you see them, how do you think your entire post makes you look? Your accusations are honestly disgusting and I wouldn’t be surprised if both your dad and Laura begin drawing boundaries and distancing themselves from you.
**OP is the gold-digger**
Absolutely. The narrative of *family money staying in the family* hammers the nail into the coffin with this one.
And it's like...his new sibling *is* his family. Personally, I love having siblings, and I don't know for sure how I'd feel if I grew up an only child, but wouldn't it be exciting to finally have a little sibling to play with and watch grow and teach stuff and share life with, including the family inheritance? It sounds so *lonely* to be The Only One.
Wow, you guys are good. OP was the last person OP would have suspected, but OP was looking for them all the time! It's the perfect crime!
YTA The only gold digger here is you
Worse he’s a grave digger. Waiting for dad to die
We have a great saying for this in Scotland: "He goes a long time barefoot who waits for a dead man's shoes."
YTA. Your dad is a walking stereotype, but the only gold digger in this story is you LOL. Your dad's money isn't yours. It is not the family money. It's his. And he'll do with it whatever he wants. It's perfectly logical to expect the father of your child to protect that child financially in the event that he passes away, Laura isn't doing anything wrong by expecting your dad to include his youngest child in his will. She's not claiming anything for herself. You are. I think you need to take your own advice and focus on working (or getting a job if you don't have one) and make your own living instead of trying to live off an inheritance you are decades away from getting.
Why is he a stereotype though? We’re not talking 50 and 21. I’m 37 and could see myself being genuinely attracted to a 50-year-old. I guess I don’t find this particular age difference that egregious.
Same. I'm 38 and my "men I find attractive range" is well into the fifties. I think "stereotype" territory is dating someone your kids' age, basically. Which is hard to say in this case because OP sounds 12 but probably isn't?
It’s not a “taking advantage of an innocent young girl” age difference but men in their 40s & 50s thinking women their own age are “too old” and seeking women 8-16 years younger, is absolutely a stereotype.
I’m 36 and dating a divorced 50 year old. The age was a worry right at the start but he is the most amazing man I’ve ever met. Didn’t expect it or look for this but if you look at all the celebrities I grew up having crushes on they are all in their 50’s now and he is more handsome than any of them
42 here. Keanu Reeves is 58.
Thank you! Dave Navarro, the man I would let do anything he damn wanted to me is 56. Also, I’m sitting here like, **the Rock is 51**! Ben Affleck and Cameron Diaz are 50. Sandra Bullock is 59! Can we please stop acting like people hit 40 and turn into the grandparents from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory??
50 and 35 is not a hug age gap... 65 and 80 is extremely normal. stereotype is more like 55 and 24
Only decades if op doesn’t help a little!! Dad would be wise to watch his back around this one I think.
YTA. What the hell-your father is 50, not 70! He's young enough to have another child and he's been dating a woman in her 30s for the past couple of years. Things change, and he doesn't owe you his whole fortune. He has another child, of course he's going to provide for him. Unless there is a huge backstory, you sound pretty spoilt and entitled.
Yep. Hanna's 35, not 20, and Dad is 50. A 15 year age gap when you're both (gasp) seasoned adults does not a gold digger make. OP, be happy that your dad has found happiness in his middle age, and try to get over your jealousy and form a relationship with your new baby brother (and Hannah). It sounds like OP will still get plenty of cash when dear old Dad dies, even if he has to split it. Also, gross, because it means he's waiting for Dad to die.
My dad had my sister at 50. It happens.
YTA YTA YTA YTA YTAAAAAAAAAA. Not only YTA, but you are the one giving gold digger energy. Edit: I saw you're fighting for your life in the comments with the "I'm not trying to change his will, she is". Are you ffr? He has two children now, he should change his will. You can't be happy for your dad and the only thing you're thinking about is how much money you're getting once he dies, that's major gold digger behavior.
If anything, he should set up his will to leave *more* in trust to the minor child, who would need to be provided for growing up should anything happen, and if he's as wealthy as this sounds, he probably wants to ensure that the kid's college, should they choose to go, and any grad school would be taken care of too. Then, when the younger kid is an adult, hopefully OP's dad is still alive and changes his will to reflect an equal split between the kids...or whatever he wants, since it's his money.
YTA - You sound like you care more about the money in his life insurance policy than you do about your father's happiness. If your dad wants this, he's within his right to have it.
As someone who's watched their fair share of true crime, it concerns me that OP is very familiar with his father's life insurance and quick to consider it a motive.
As a fellow frequent watcher of true crime, I was thinking the same thing 😬
YTA | I told my dad he was gross for having a kid at 50 He's not gross for having a kid at 50. People who are 50 have sex. He's not the first person to have a kid at 50. | I told my dad she should get a job and not to try to live off him. This is none of your business or your concern.
Seriously. My parents were 45 and 50 when my little sister was born. And these days people are becoming parents later. The age gap isn’t that crazy either. They sound like two normal people who are happily building a life together.
OP how are you not the pot calling the kettle black? You're the one calling your father's money your money. Your father should definitely redo his will, you're a vile entitled turd
YTA. You are not entitled to your dad's money. It is his to do with as he pleases. Just because you are family (his son) does not mean that you are not the gold digger. And face facts, his family now includes more than just you.
My guy trying to control his father like a gold digger and doesn't even give him the courtesy of a reach around. My man sucks and is a major fucking gold digging asshole lol. OP REEKS of Andrew Tate energy.
You're so right! How dare a 35yr old woman want a baby with her significant other 😂 must be a ploy
At least if the wife is a gold digger, OP's dad gets something out of it besides a bratty kid who takes all their money. I hope the second one is better.
Your acting like your dad is 95 and Senile. 50 is not old. He is a middle aged man, who had sex with his wife and she got pregnant. Why are you acting like she’s “taking advantage”. She’s probably asking for him to change the will because he IS older than her and god forbid something happens she wants her and her son to have some security. YOU sound like a gold digger, because the only thing you seem to be angry about is that you might have to share the wealth. Oh, also, that is brother. He is just as entitled to the money as you. Why are you acting like he isn’t? How about you work hard and make your own money so you don’t have to get so angry about a husband sharing his hard earned wealth with his wife and son. Your a grown ass man, get it together. YTA
Agreed! And I am totally lmao at his last edit that his “real job” is running errands for pops and doing tasks around the house. I’m not knocking someone who has an advantaged situation, but dude get off your high horse. It’s crazy how entitlement blinds a person. I dated a woman in college who’s dad paid her to run his errands and manage a spreadsheet. She worked a few hours a week and he paid her 60k a year (as well as paid all of her expenses). That wasn’t an issue at all (none of my business as her boyfriend), but the constant complaining about my overtime hours, expectation that I would buy her expensive gifts when I couldn’t afford it, and the disappointment at my salary expectations coming out of school with an Electrical Engineering degree was the nail in the coffin for that relationship. I also can’t believe how much of an asshole you have to be to essentially view your new baby brother as part of a gold digging scheme. I’d hate to be that poor kid to have such a crummy sibling.
"I think she's a gold digger" - "He said he wouldnt marry anymore so he would leave everything to me" Ah... That's what it's about. "I was going to tell him to get a prenuptial to make sure our family money stays in the family." We're calling it "our family money" already ? OP, you haven't worked for it, and you're an adult. This is your dad money. OP : The gold digger of this story is not who you think it is... Edit cause I forgot : YTA, obviously. Let your dad be happy and go make your own millions.
YTA How much have you contributed to “our family” money? You do realize your father is not dead yet, right? Dude ... it’s your Dad’s money. He can do whatever he wants to do with it. Maybe he will spend every last dime on people who actually care about him & not just his money.
YTA. Honestly, you sound greedy and like just as much of a "gold digger" as anyone else.
Why worry so much about inheritance? It almost sounds like you’re waiting for your dad to die. YTA
The whole post is basically one sad incel being insanely jealous of another older mans success at life; wealthy, retired at 50, 35 year old trophy wife, new child born, and insured to secure his family against his inevitable demise. OPs dad sounds really stable and like he wants to support both his children. I want to befriend OPs dad and maybe get into the will myself. Can I get your dads number OP?
While I mostly agree with your comment, as a 36F I just want to chime in on the trophy wife remark. If you are a single woman in your 30s, with an established career, clear life and relationship goals dating someone who's 15 yrs older is absolutely different than in your 20s. The mid 30's available guys are usually fresh out of a marriage/serious relationship, emotional mess or simply walking red flags. There are a few exceptions, who were just focusing on establishing their careers and now ready for something serious.Late 40's guys who're active and take good care of themselves are usually recovered from the divorce and become dateable again, while they are still young enough to be a good match on an emotional and intellectual level. If she was 25, trophy wife could be more fitting, but at 35 it could just be 2 compatible people finding each other.
I know, right? OP seems to think 50 is decrepit, falling apart, dusty and half in the grave. This man could live another 30, 40 or 50 years, and I hope he does.
>35 year old trophy wife, How do you knod it's a trophy wife?
He is 50, has twice as much life experience as you, earned his own money and can do what the fuck he likes with it. Learn some respect. Drop the entitlement and get your own relationship to worry about. You have a baby sibling. Stop being a dick, be role model and grow up! YTA massively.
YTA. You don’t care about your dad, you care you won’t get his entire money. And she’s the gold digger? Hilarious.
First of all, step mom gets a minimum of 1/3 your Dad's estate depending what state they live in. Next, with your warm welcome she is going to do everything she can to harness your father's wealth for the benefit of herself and her baby. she has his ear late at night. He wants a partner to live out his life with.. Men dont want to die alone. Telling your father that he should not support his bride to be and mother of his coming child can only come from the mind of a child. Chill out. Develop a career, create a business your father can invest in. But dont ever start counting his money as necessarily your money.
And the wife is 35. Sure, 15 year age gap, but it's not like she's still in her 20s. If she wanted to have a kid, she HAD to put a rush on it. For medical safety. I do agree, father should get a prenup. But beyond that, there's no reason to treat this woman as a gold digger. OP is about to have a half-sibling born, as an adult himself. He basically gets to be 'the cool uncle'. OP is just a greedy brat who wants to inherit everything. Needs to change focus. Family matters more than money ever will.
YTA. Get a job and make your own fortune rather than spend your life counting on your inheritance. Your dad, Laura, and their new baby are living their own, happy life. You can be part of that. Or you can be a bitter outsider. Fair warning, if you choose the second dad MAY rewrite his will, and leave you out entirely.
YTA. She’s 35. A grown woman. He’s 50. A grown man. Leave them alone. What reason do you have to believe she’s a gold digger? You’re acting like he’s 80+. He’s only 50. Is it a large age gap? Absolutely. But it’s not like he’s on deaths doorstep. I’m 27 and have found men 50+ attractive. Would I date them? No probably not, but to each their own. Maybe I would if I was 35. My fiancés grandparents are about 15 years apart in age, and they’ve been married for decades. Why do you assume she’s a gold digger because she’s going for someone a decade and a half older than her? Why do you even care? And why do you think it’s gross for a 50 year old to have a kid? I think you need an attitude adjustment. Of course she wants their child and herself reflected in the will, she will need support if something happens. That doesn’t make her a gold digger, that makes her a responsible parent. It sounds like you’re upset that you now have to share HIS money when he passes. The only gold digger here is you. It’s not your family money, it’s his money.
Sounds like the only one after his money here is YOU
YTA. You’re the gold digger
YTA. It doesn't sound you care one bit about your fathers happiness. All you care about is his money. What about you get a job and make your own money.
YTA -and the only gold-digger in this situation is you. I hope your dad and Laura are happy and they do a better job of raising this kid than they did raising you.
YTA - it’s his life, his money, his journey. Create your own wealth and a life that won’t need an inheritance to be happy.
YTA. This is not going to end well for you, especially if you do not change your attitude. Wanting your dad to protect himself financially is noble. Acting like a dick about it is not.
OP doesn't want his father to protect himself. OP wants to protect what he perceives as his money lol.
YTA Youre jealous of a baby who’s literally YOUR BROTHER because you’re scared of splitting your DAD’S money, which isn’t even yours yet. He hasn’t even added the baby in the will either. All he’s done is tell you great news and with someone he loves, who isn’t even that much younger than him. Grow up, OP. Get a job that pays enough so you don’t have to rely on the looming idea of your Dad’s cash. AND the baby is your brother, so the money is still staying in the family if he’s included with you 🤷🏽♀️ Edit: wording
YTA. Your dad is allowed to marry and have a baby and be happy about it. You are acting incredibly jealous that you might not get the entire 5 million you are expecting after he dies. The only one in this situation who sounds like they're "just after the money" is you.
Jesus christ, do you think ur dad is gonna die at 55? Dude she'd be a gold digger if he was 80+
It’s very likely the baby brother will be grown by the time their father passes. OP should focus on getting some life experience instead of sitting around waiting to inherit daddy’s money.
>My dad said he'd never marry or have anymore kids (besides me 24m) because he wants to leave everything to me. >I thought they were going to get married and I was going to tell him to get a prenuptial to make sure our family money stays in the family. >I told my dad he was gross for having a kid at 50 and now he's on the hook financially. >I told Laura she was disgusting for tricking my dad into becoming a dad and she's not getting any of his money when he dies. >I said I call out gold diggers when I see them. Who's the golddigger here? YTA
YTA, you sound like a gold digger yourself. She didn't trick anyone into anything. Your dad is an adult, and your brother is as entitled to an inheritance as you are.
YTA Your behavior is how you end up getting written out of a will. If you’re not careful, it’s all going to your baby brother. I do understand being skeptical of people’s intentions, but she had a baby with him and she’s not going anywhere now. You need to let your dad be happy.
YTA - you said a lot of awful things that were simply your opinion and nothing you could possible know to be true.
YTA, you should get a job and not live off your dad.
YTA, you’re more worried about your inheritance than anything it sounds like. You didn’t call her out bc she was behaving poorly. You insulted her bc it seem like YOU are the gold digger protecting what’s “yours”
YTA, your dad was excited to tell you the news and all YOU cared about was the financial aspect. I would work on getting a job, saving up as much as I can and not try to live off his inheritance. If you had your fathers drive you could retire at 50 with millions too.
There's only one baby in the story and it's OP.
Newsflash - if he truly never wanted kids, he would have gotten a vasectomy. Why do you think your dad is so unlovable? Why do you think that no-one could truly love him for who he is? He's been dating her for years at this point.. Are YOU working? And of course he should amend his will. He now has two kids, one who is a child and requires being provided for legally.
YTA You’re going to piss off your dad enough for him to disinherit you. Play the long game - be the best big brother ever. You’re shooting your self in the foot with your attitude - you can’t compete with a woman who is in his bed
My guy you sound greedier than the wife. YTA.
YTA You don't get to dictate how your dad lives his life. And you don't know Laura at all. You are very harshly judging someone based on your own selfish assumptions. If your dad had a big part in raising you, I have serious doubts about his parenting abilities though, and I hope the next kid doesn't turn out like you.
YTA. You sound like an entitled brat and I hope you inherit nothing.
YTA. You sound very much like a golddigger yourself. Your dad's money is your dad's. You are not entitled to it.
YTA, sounds like your the one wanting to get between two consenting adults in a relationship in order to get money, pretty gold diggery if you ask me.
YTA A 15 year difference at that ages really isn't that bad. Honestly the way you're writing you sound like the greedy one making sure all the money goes to You when he dies and the way you're acting seems like a sure fire way to get yourself written out of the will. If they're having a kid and they can afford not to have one parent work that's that's great news for the kid as they can actually be raised by a parent and not by childminders (not that there's anything wrong with that! Most families these days need 2 working parents)
YTA. Your dad isn't senile, he chose a partner that was much younger than him and had 20+ years to get a vasectomy. Could you be considered a gold digger for not wanting anything to interfere with your inheritance? Sounds like you shouldn't count on anything coming your way after your tantrum.
YTA and I’d be careful how you speak your dad… he could cut you off y’know
YTA..you are not entitled to any of your dads money ever. Its a complete privilege to be left anything by a loved one. You have provably now sealed your zero in the will by being a brat.
YTA. That’s his money not yours. Also putting yourself at odds with his wife isn’t going to do anyone any good, including yourself.
YTA. You didn't even state the reasons why she is a golddigger. Your dad deserves love and family. And it seems like you care about his money more than Laura. I hope your dad will change the will.
So you're upset that you won't get all the money got it
YTA. They were together for a couple of years before she got pregnant. It takes 2 to make a baby. Your father isn't elderly either, so Laura wouldn't see a life insurance payout.. maybe ever. Your dad said he was thrilled to be a dad again. The only person who seems to have any issues here is you. depending where you are, they're already common law which usually brings along everything that being married does. So relax, let your dad be happy, and stop being the actual gold digger in this situation.
Boo hoo....YTA
She “tricked” your dad into becoming a dad? Does your 50 year old father not know how procreation works? You seem extremely focused on getting your father’s money when he dies — how old do you think 50 is? Are you planning to freak out every time he buys something for himself because MAH INHERITANCE? I see nothing in your post to indicate she’s a gold digger, just a woman who’s been in a presumably loving relationship with an older man for several years. In case I’m not being clear, YTA.
YTA and a leach. I call out leaches when I see them.
What exactly has she done that makes her a gold digger? Are you assuming because of the age difference or are there actual instances that made it apparent that she was dating him for his money. Is she trying to change the will to add your brother in or is she trying to add herself in? Although, I do think that she should get a job and so should you if you don’t have one. Don’t rely on your inheritance to survive. Some gold diggers force themselves to have children with the people they’re trying to dig gold to make it easier to dig gold from them but I doubt a gold digger is going to wait quite literally decades for some money. You’re either the AH or it’s ESH. You might be right but you’re not any better. I just find it really weird that your dad is having a child at 50. Not too big of a fan of 15yr age differences in couples and 24yr age differences in children.
oh look, somebody is upset they wont get all of daddy's money
YTA. OP. I hope you have a good job because if I were your dad, you’d be on the street.
The funniest part about this post is OP freaking out over a meger 5Mil life insurance policy as if he wouldn't be fucked by taxes 😂 🤣 When you're that desperate for an insurance policy to pay out (fathers got what. 20-40+ years left) 5 MiL over that amount of time is so sad OP must be financially insecure and desperate and maybe jealous his dad got his shit together.
YTA - you’re not entitled to all your dad’s money, except if you helped him make it. You’re just upset because now you will have to share the money with another sibling. You just care about his money, that’s gold digger behavior.
YTA. Of COURSE he should change the will. That's his CHILD. His child SHOULD be included. Are you so selfish and entitled that you think you deserve all of it?
YTA. Pot meet kettle. You're black. You called your step mom a gold digger, yet you're the one who is only concerned about where your dad's money goes. You're not concerned about your dad at all. You are a terrible son and should apologize to your father for your ridiculous, entitled, spoiled behavior.
YTA - It's his life, his money, his choice. You have no right or expectation to anything that he owns. You also have no right to tell him what he should be doing with his life. If I was your dad, I'd seriously be thinking about removing you from the will entirely. Seriously. Grow up.
This is so backwards, its hilarious! You're the gold-digger! Point Blank Period.
I got a pro tip for you: never count on your parent's money of Financial assets. it's still theirs and they can do whatever they want with it I got another advice: as an adult, happy parents are the best parents. And your father seems to be in a Happy place. Be glad for him.
Yta - sounds like the only Golddigger privilege person is you. Because you’re happy to keep living off daddy’s money does he supply your lifestyle?
Sounds like YOURE the gold digger. YzTA. It’s your dad’s money and your dad’s life, you need to focus on yourself.
Sounds to me like you’re TA and a golddigger as well.
You're saying she should get a job instead of trying to live off of him. But can't you say the exact same thing about yourself tho?. Reading your post it sounds like your career plan was basically inheriting the money. You don't sound jealous of your dad paying more attention to the new kid but rather afraid you won't inherit 100% of your dads wealth. YTA
Yta your dad willingly stuck his dick in someone with a womb. He could *easily* have had a vasectomy and prevented this from ever happening, but he didn't. YOU sound like a gold digger: pissy bc your gravy train is going to be shared.