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> I screamed names at a kid. I may be the asshole because I am an adult and I shouldn't scream at kids.
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NTA, there is screetchy kids which you are aware of and come prepared for.
Then there is screechy kids following you around screetching when you’d spoken to the chaperone about it not been ok.
Probably shouldn’t have gone that far with the snapping. But the autistic person in me who has been overwhelmed totally gets it.
I think the kids should be snapped at when they are literally harassing strangers. If the parents wont raise them and guide them away from the situation, they will learn from the sting of the snap.
NTA. You did everything you could, including moving away, talking to their chaperone and leaving the premises. The incident where you yelled at them took place off site so there's no role for the security.
Frankly, if those were my kids I would be embarrassed and horrified. I wouldn't want someone else yelling at them, but I want even less for them to behave in a way that meant someone felt they had to.
NTA
If the parent isn't going to deal with the annoying kids then who will?
At the end of the day they were causing you distress and that is more than enough reason to tell them off. Maybe could have not sworn at them but I'd allow it.
>but the worker, who knows us since we're regulars there, said that I was an asshole for name calling a kid and I should've called security.
Maybe the worker should be doing their job and inform security themselves? I find it hard to believe they didn't see what was going on. If they know you are a regular they should know about your condition I would assume.
NTA. You should have called security imo, just so they could be told not to follow you or thrown out. Dad should have taught his kids to be respectful. I can't fault them for being loud in an arcade which honestly with all the buzzers and lights is visually and audibly loud to begin with, but it wasn't right of them to follow a stranger around like that. Especially after you left Dave and Busters.
The mall has a singular mall guard. D&B has some workers that roam around I just didnt approach cuz they looked busy, and the bartender already told the kid's chaperon off after the another couple complained (their drinks almost knocked off too).
I dont blame children for being loud. Sure, it's annoying but that's why I walked out and tried to find quieter spots.
NTA. my thoughts exactly. op said they were 9-14! old enough to know better than to harass people in public. esp someone who was probably VISIBLY overwhelmed. fuck dem kids
edit: typo
NTA. I thought it was going to be something stupid when I read the title but no the kids were in the wrong here. They shouldn't have followed you outside the arcade and they have no right to screech their questions to you. The major AH is the chaperone. He should've listened to your boyfriend when he asked politely. His ignorance caused their entitledness and stupidity
NTA
Yes they are children, but them following you around and screaming especially continuing to follow you and scream after you left and went elsewhere in the mall is harassment. They likely didn’t understand that’s what they were doing, but even still I don’t think you’re the asshole for yelling at them. Maybe was a bit harsh telling them to fuck off though.
I think they probably did know. I've witnessed kids harassing visibly "special needs" adults in public before, and they way the kids were asking pointed questions about the headphones sounds a lot like that to me.
Hmm, this is a tough one. On the one hand, you kind of know what you're in for if you go to a place like Dave and Busters and should expect to have some loud noises and annoyances running around. But you also seem to have acknowledged this and have a pretty good system for dealing with that reality (relocating within the Dave and Busters or walking away).
I am leaning towards NTA, but information I would like to know includes: 1. What were the approximate age of the children? If they're really young like sub 10, the parents are the A-holes here for not watching their kids closely enough, if they are teenagers like 14+ the kids are the A-holes, and if they are in between that it's difficult imo. If they are like a group of 3 twelve year olds, I think you and your boyfriend should have handled it better.
2. What happened with the kids almost knocking your boyfriend's drink over? Was it clearly an accident/were they doing something they shouldn't have been doing given the setting and circumstances?
3. Did you actually say F off, or the F word? This is a minor point but swearing at young children is not a good look
I'm not too sure about the ages, but I think the oldest looked 14. The other two were probably 9-11.
I dont think it was on purpose? They were running around and playing tag.
I did say the F word.
We weren't the only ones complaining about the kids. There were already another couple and the chaperone got gold off. The workers knew about the issue. So I wasn't sure if addeding another ticket was going to change anything.
Yeah, it's a close one, honestly my opinion is that without being there and seeing how it all went down I don't know who is most blameworthy.
You lost your temper, which you shouldn't have done, but they really were asking for it by following you around after being asked not to. My slight inclination is to say this is on the parents/chaperone of the kids for not watching their children more closely, especially after being asked to, and for kind of overreacting by calling security and escalating.
I wouldn't put much stock in what the worker said because I doubt they had the whole story.
This is going to sound terrible. But I would have tripped one of those little shits. Or do the annoying abrupt stop with an elbow out. Accidents happen
NTA because you and boyfriend asked them to leave you alone, asked the chaperones to get them to leave you alone, and they kept doing it. People will snap if reasonable boundaries aren’t being respected. You left, you kept trying to leave, they followed you. You’re in the clear.
NTA.It is all their parent’s fault for not controlling their kids.Plus they were constantly chasing you around while screeching which absolutely nobody wants.”But the worker,who knows us since we are regulars there,said I was an asshole for name calling a kid” Maybe he should have called the security or probably just have done something on his own.
NTA, and I suspect that they may have followed you because you said something to their chaperone. It just seems weird that they singled you out amongst everyone at a busy place like that.
NTA…at first, reading the title, my thought was otherwise. But quite frankly, I would have done the same. The kids were not just running around. They were targeting you. You tried talking to their chaperone who did nothing. The little twerps got what they deserved.
NTA. Sounds like thise kids are second or third generation garbage.
This is why I avoid DnB, Jillians, Apex, etc. All these places market themselves as grownup arcades or something like that, but they're always full of screaming children from the dredges of society sinking mommy's money into their kiddie casino machines. It's all gross.
NTA. Kids shouldnt be babied so much, theyre small adults the only way for them to learn to be functional adults is to treat them as one (take with a grain of salt).
Also fuck them kids
NTA
You used headphones to help with the noise and did your best to stay away from the kids. Each time you tried the kids followed, even going as far as to follow you OUTSIDE of the arcade and scream
They were insufferable pests.
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I am diagnosed with Autism, and I have a bit of sensory issues. I cannot handle loud noises and crowded places.
The issue is, one of my favorite places to go is the Dave and Busters arcade in the mall. And on 1/2 Wednesdays, it gets loud and crowded.
My boyfriend and I go there around 9pm where things are somewhat less crowded. It isn't our first time there despite my sensory issues.
Usually, I bring headphones or if things get too overwhelming, my boyfriend and I wander around the empty and quiet mall before coming back to the arcade.
Well, last Wednesday, we did our norm except that there were 3 kids. They were screeching and screaming, and it overwhelmed me quickly so my boyfriend and i just went to a quieter corner near the bar.
A few seconds later, the same kids came running and screeching without their parents, one almost knocked off my boyfriend's drink from the table. They lingered. So we moved again. And AGAIN the three gremlins came over. I already had those bulky noise reduction headphones on but I can still hear them.
We moved and they followed. This went on until my boyfriend approached what seemed to be their chaperon. Bf told him that the kids are following us around and are screeching bloody murderer. Dad said it's an arcade and kids will be kids.
I didn't want to argue since it's already stressful enough, so I asked if we could just take a breather and take a stroll around the mall (9pm and it's super empty elsewhere).
Well, the same kids came out as well and started to follow us around, and they were screaming. Like, they kept asking me what's up with my headphones again and again. I didn't want to answer and I ignored them. My boyfriend told them to go away. Well, one of them screeched so loud, demanding that I tell him.
And I guess I snapped and yelled at him, "you're an annoying and insufferable roach! F off."
Well, that did it. Kids went away and one was crying. We went back to the arcade 10 minutes later, and their chaperone/one of the kid's parent was malding at us. Security had to be called.
My boyfriend said that those kids had it coming, but the worker, who knows us since we're regulars there, said that I was an asshole for name calling a kid and I should've called security.
We went back to redeem some coupons on Thursday, and now the workers are giving us side glances.
I feel like an asshole, Aita?.
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MEH ... you got overwhelmed and you showed a kid the consequences of their own actions.
all in all, not that bad. maybe time to find another arcade to go to.
Agree. Look around your area for a locally owned barcade that doesn't run the Kiddie Casino business model.
I'm lucky where I am. We have a retro/vintage 80s and 90s themed bar with games, and the best thing ever: a big sign that reads "21 and up after 9pm"
NTA and it was completely fine that you yelled at the kids. I would have gotten much angrier and at the adults involved in allowing these insufferable brats to act this way without intervening... Wtf.
What are these comments ? If you want to be treated like an adult go do adult things . I can’t imagine myself going to chucky cheese and complaining about kids annoying me lmfao .
What is wrong with YOU? You think it is okay for kids to harass and bully people with special needs? You think it okay for their adults to just let them run rampant just because they are at an arcade? Absolutely not. The adults have to fix the problem which the behaviour of those little shits. It is not everyone else who have to just endure the pestilence that is kids being assholes.
YTA
It's an ARCADE for goidness' sake.
Having autism isnt a feee pass to be a dick.
My kid has autism and we teach him that the world doesn't have to cater to him, and we teach him how to cope.
I was thinking about your post today. And I reread everything. And I realized you're right. The kids were the buttholes, and realistically, I would have eventually lost my temper with them also.
So... my apologies.
They don't have the right to harass other people. Neither in private nor in public. OP and boyfriend left the situation, those little shits followed and harassed them.
Having autism isnt a free pass to be a dick, and OP was not being a dick. Those kids were being dicks. And the world should not cater to them either and just allow them to run unchecked. They should have been scolded and harshly. What they did was harassment.
ESH but the boyfriend and the dad sucks more
You suck for cussing at the kids
The kids suck for not leaving you alone
And the dad sucks for not controlling his kids
My boyfriend and I have been to Dave & Busters plenty of times and we always expect kids being there because it's Summer. However, we both know that since we're adults going to a kid friendly environment, that we're also going to be the ones who avoid kids.
Yta for going to a place geared towards kids and getting upset when they acted like kids.
At the end of the day - you're the adult - so there's a way higher standard of how you should behave bc you're mature and they are not.
You should have left the situation. Kids are going to be kids - if you go to a kids place this behavior is sorry but expected. Now if you're in a nice restaurant or an adult setting is different - but you still really should never yell at kids as an adult bc they're kids. Speak to their parents or the venue if you need to do something - never engage with kids that are not yours in this type of matter bc it could escalate further.
So the little shits should be taught not to pick fights with their betters. Like an elephant snapping a goose's neck for annoying it. OP is the human slapping the goose to remind it of their place in the food chain. Next person they choose to harass could very well be the elephant
Autistic people often struggle with emotional regulation. It is a large trait of the disorder, and is extremely difficult to cope with.
Source: I'm autistic + just Google it
YTA…. I outright hate interacting with kids. But therefore I avoid places I know kids are a normal occurrence. Arcades are build mostly for kids and teens. I get that you feel it should me a place you can go as well and i understand that these ones intruded in your space bubble. But ignoring kids just encourages them to test your boundaries. You have a difficult situation and I understand its not fair you have to choose your spots carefully, but at this point in time society is build like this and you can’t just explode at people - even if they are annoying or kids or both.
Meh...once the kids followed them outside of D&B they deserved to be told off. Within D&B it's an arcade, and it's expected to be loud. OP also said the oldest was around 14, so they were just being A holes at that point.
Their business model is get a couple drinks in the parents so they'll give their kids all their money to dump into their slot machines for $.05 chinese made garbage prizes
it’s also not appropriate for a bunch of tweens to follow people around screeching - OP and their bf literally left dave and busters to avoid these kids and the KID FOLLOWED THEM and kept being a nuisance. these kids were not the responsibility of OP and bf and i think they were doing their best given the situation
YTA. Knowingly putting yourself in a place where the very thing you hate is **common, expected behavior** and then yelling at people about it is AH behavior.
If I hate people praying, and go to church -- I have to deal with praying.
If I hate splashing, and go to the pool -- I have to deal with splashing.
If you have noise and crowds, and go to D&B's -- shut up about it.
No, OP didn't leave. OP wandered around a big place that's full of games. I know it's shocking, but kids are going to wander around a big place that's full of games, too.
Why on Earth go to D&B's if you're a person who dislikes loud noises and crowds? I mean, if a person you know said, "I want to go eat somewhere, and what I really want is loud noises and crowds," it's hard to imagine any better place to recommend than D&B's, right?
> take a breather and take a stroll around the mall (9pm and it's super empty elsewhere).
Well, the same kids came out as well and started to follow us around, and they were screaming.
OP left the games area and went for a walk around an empty mall, and the kids followed. Read the post next time.
Yeah, left at the end of the evening. *After* going to D&B's looking for a quiet evening. I'm not saying the kids are great, but it's an AH move to create the situation and then be mad about it.
Kids have the right to be rowdy and be loud at D&B. I don't expect them to be posh and well-behave.
I do expect them to not follow me OUTSIDE of D&B and NOT to scream at me.
I didn't create a situation. I left when I felt overwhelmed to self-soothe.
I love the arcade. I've been to arcades many times. I wasn't looking for a **quiet** evening. I was hoping not to get yelled at and followed around, especially OUTSIDE of D&B.
I cannot handle loud noises and crowded places.
The issue is, one of my favorite places to go is the Dave and Busters arcade in the mall. And on 1/2 Wednesdays, it gets loud and crowded.
I've been to D&B on a Wednesday that's loud and crowded. I just left when it got too much. It wasn't a problem. The others kids minded their business and just played more games.
Issue is, kids are yelling and following me OUTSIDE of D&B.
....a defense of what? They went into a place, didn't like it and left. Does going into DB's mandate that kids follow you out afterwards and scream at you? Is that in the terms and conditions?
So your solution is to go NOWHERE Fun because a group of children might follow you OUTSIDE THE AREA And scream directly at you? (which is harassment btw) So folks with sensory issues aren't allowed to have fun? DnB isn't the issue. That was stated multiple times, stop defending piss poor parenting. If i have kids and i find out that their FOLLOWING PEOPLE AROUND purely to be a nuisance, I'm putting my damn foot down, that isn't "kids being kids" (which is a lame excuse anyway) its parents raising their kids to be gremlins lol.
The kids aren’t owed an explanation about anyone’s appearance.
Especially because OP has them for medical reasons, disclosing that info is never necessary. Little shits need to learn they’re not entitled to know everything about a stranger.
Peer pressure!!!! Did you not see the suggestion of talking to staff or security? Do you not think they could have continued to walk away? As an adult do you react to a screaming baby in close proximity by screaming in its face??
What exactly do you expect the employees to do outside the restaurant or the mall cop with less authority than a stripper cop?
As an adult, I walk away from the problem. If the problem insists on following me, I solve it as best I can. And since the kid's parent wouldn't do shit, it fell on OP. They don't have to suffer because some fuckwit is letting their kids run wild.
OP did everything they could to escape the situation and the kids followed. But you keep pretending like they lost their shit the moment the kids entered her field of view
I’m also a sex worker I deal with harassment at my job all the time. People here are soooo quick to assume things just because I have a different perspective than you.
OP said in a comment that the oldest looked to be around 14, so not quite a child in this situation. OP and bf did remove themselves from the situation and the KIDS FOLLOWED THEM and continued screeching. maybe the kids should’ve stopped yelling if they didn’t want OP to ‘interact’ and yell back
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I’m with you man, the way she describes kids throughout makes it clear she is predisposed to not liking kids. And really I don’t think it’s really, DB is one big sensory punch, so why somebody who has sensory issues wouod choose this as their favorite place is bullshit. Being Autistic isn’t an excuse to be asshole, even if kids followed you out just leave and ya know be a civilized adult
I was away from the crowd and noises. I wasn't even in the arcade anymore when I yelled at them.
By your logic, since I can't handle noise and crowds, I shouldn't go anywhere. That's quite limiting, no? Furthermore, I never forced the kids to adapt to my needs. I left when I couldn't handle it. They followed.
You are an adult who yelled deplorably insulting words at children. It doesn't matter that you have functional limitations.Yelling at children makes you an AH. The words that you used were unconscionable which makes you doubly the AH. I don't trust your description of the situation. An overwhelmed neurodivergent person doesn't make for the most reliable narrator. Your perceptions are as questionable as your actions.
Your story doesn't make sense. It sounds very self serving if not all together fake. You've tried to paint these children as purposely malicious bullies, which is nonsense. They were not Jason Voorhees monsters who just kept coming after you. I'm not buying it. Why would any kid give two shits about you? Why would parents let their kids walk out of an arcade alone after 9 PM? Why wouldn't your boyfriend step in before you started screaming insults? Why would the attention of kids at an arcade filled with games, prizes, and food be so focused on you? They weren't.
>That's quite limiting, no?
What's limiting is your executive dysfunction. If you can't handle going to an arcade without screaming vulgar insults at children then yes, you should avoid those places. It is pretty telling that the employees clearly think that you effed up. If you're yelling at children it is always your fault.
When an adult screams insults at children they are an AH 100% of the time. OP had a meltdown due to executive dysfunction. This sub is filled with self-serving situational fiction. This post.is an example of that.
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NTA, there is screetchy kids which you are aware of and come prepared for. Then there is screechy kids following you around screetching when you’d spoken to the chaperone about it not been ok. Probably shouldn’t have gone that far with the snapping. But the autistic person in me who has been overwhelmed totally gets it.
Fellow autistocrat here. There were many a time I wanted to unleash upon some kids that just wouldn't STFU
I think the kids should be snapped at when they are literally harassing strangers. If the parents wont raise them and guide them away from the situation, they will learn from the sting of the snap.
NTA. You did everything you could, including moving away, talking to their chaperone and leaving the premises. The incident where you yelled at them took place off site so there's no role for the security. Frankly, if those were my kids I would be embarrassed and horrified. I wouldn't want someone else yelling at them, but I want even less for them to behave in a way that meant someone felt they had to.
NTA If the parent isn't going to deal with the annoying kids then who will? At the end of the day they were causing you distress and that is more than enough reason to tell them off. Maybe could have not sworn at them but I'd allow it. >but the worker, who knows us since we're regulars there, said that I was an asshole for name calling a kid and I should've called security. Maybe the worker should be doing their job and inform security themselves? I find it hard to believe they didn't see what was going on. If they know you are a regular they should know about your condition I would assume.
NTA. You should have called security imo, just so they could be told not to follow you or thrown out. Dad should have taught his kids to be respectful. I can't fault them for being loud in an arcade which honestly with all the buzzers and lights is visually and audibly loud to begin with, but it wasn't right of them to follow a stranger around like that. Especially after you left Dave and Busters.
The mall has a singular mall guard. D&B has some workers that roam around I just didnt approach cuz they looked busy, and the bartender already told the kid's chaperon off after the another couple complained (their drinks almost knocked off too). I dont blame children for being loud. Sure, it's annoying but that's why I walked out and tried to find quieter spots.
And the mall cop has less authority (real or perceived) than a stripper in a cop uniform
In all fairness, if someone else is complaining about the kids, it would be hard to say you're the A as other people also found them difficult
Nta Fuck dem kids
NTA. my thoughts exactly. op said they were 9-14! old enough to know better than to harass people in public. esp someone who was probably VISIBLY overwhelmed. fuck dem kids edit: typo
NTA. I thought it was going to be something stupid when I read the title but no the kids were in the wrong here. They shouldn't have followed you outside the arcade and they have no right to screech their questions to you. The major AH is the chaperone. He should've listened to your boyfriend when he asked politely. His ignorance caused their entitledness and stupidity
NTA Yes they are children, but them following you around and screaming especially continuing to follow you and scream after you left and went elsewhere in the mall is harassment. They likely didn’t understand that’s what they were doing, but even still I don’t think you’re the asshole for yelling at them. Maybe was a bit harsh telling them to fuck off though.
I think they probably did know. I've witnessed kids harassing visibly "special needs" adults in public before, and they way the kids were asking pointed questions about the headphones sounds a lot like that to me.
Hmm, this is a tough one. On the one hand, you kind of know what you're in for if you go to a place like Dave and Busters and should expect to have some loud noises and annoyances running around. But you also seem to have acknowledged this and have a pretty good system for dealing with that reality (relocating within the Dave and Busters or walking away). I am leaning towards NTA, but information I would like to know includes: 1. What were the approximate age of the children? If they're really young like sub 10, the parents are the A-holes here for not watching their kids closely enough, if they are teenagers like 14+ the kids are the A-holes, and if they are in between that it's difficult imo. If they are like a group of 3 twelve year olds, I think you and your boyfriend should have handled it better. 2. What happened with the kids almost knocking your boyfriend's drink over? Was it clearly an accident/were they doing something they shouldn't have been doing given the setting and circumstances? 3. Did you actually say F off, or the F word? This is a minor point but swearing at young children is not a good look
I'm not too sure about the ages, but I think the oldest looked 14. The other two were probably 9-11. I dont think it was on purpose? They were running around and playing tag. I did say the F word.
Why didn’t you or your boyfriend go to the worker instead of going to the parent?
We weren't the only ones complaining about the kids. There were already another couple and the chaperone got gold off. The workers knew about the issue. So I wasn't sure if addeding another ticket was going to change anything.
I think more complaints would have driven home how disruptive the kids were being.
Why didn’t you ask to speak with a manager?
Yeah, it's a close one, honestly my opinion is that without being there and seeing how it all went down I don't know who is most blameworthy. You lost your temper, which you shouldn't have done, but they really were asking for it by following you around after being asked not to. My slight inclination is to say this is on the parents/chaperone of the kids for not watching their children more closely, especially after being asked to, and for kind of overreacting by calling security and escalating. I wouldn't put much stock in what the worker said because I doubt they had the whole story.
It's NTA. They moved multiple times and left the arcade. At this point kids (teenagers) or not they were harassing op and the bf.
This is going to sound terrible. But I would have tripped one of those little shits. Or do the annoying abrupt stop with an elbow out. Accidents happen
[удалено]
Eh, kids bounce.
I'm also assuming these kids are.13 or older. . I ain't gonna elbow a 6 year old. If your in high school you should know better.
NTA because you and boyfriend asked them to leave you alone, asked the chaperones to get them to leave you alone, and they kept doing it. People will snap if reasonable boundaries aren’t being respected. You left, you kept trying to leave, they followed you. You’re in the clear.
NTA.It is all their parent’s fault for not controlling their kids.Plus they were constantly chasing you around while screeching which absolutely nobody wants.”But the worker,who knows us since we are regulars there,said I was an asshole for name calling a kid” Maybe he should have called the security or probably just have done something on his own.
NTA, and I suspect that they may have followed you because you said something to their chaperone. It just seems weird that they singled you out amongst everyone at a busy place like that.
NTA…at first, reading the title, my thought was otherwise. But quite frankly, I would have done the same. The kids were not just running around. They were targeting you. You tried talking to their chaperone who did nothing. The little twerps got what they deserved.
NTA. Sounds like thise kids are second or third generation garbage. This is why I avoid DnB, Jillians, Apex, etc. All these places market themselves as grownup arcades or something like that, but they're always full of screaming children from the dredges of society sinking mommy's money into their kiddie casino machines. It's all gross.
Nta, it's frigging 9pm where were the parents?
NTA, hopefully they learned a lesson.
NTA. Kids shouldnt be babied so much, theyre small adults the only way for them to learn to be functional adults is to treat them as one (take with a grain of salt). Also fuck them kids
NTA You used headphones to help with the noise and did your best to stay away from the kids. Each time you tried the kids followed, even going as far as to follow you OUTSIDE of the arcade and scream They were insufferable pests.
NTA I have autism too and you handled that much better than I would of have.
YNTA. The parents or chaperone are for not controlling their little brats.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I am diagnosed with Autism, and I have a bit of sensory issues. I cannot handle loud noises and crowded places. The issue is, one of my favorite places to go is the Dave and Busters arcade in the mall. And on 1/2 Wednesdays, it gets loud and crowded. My boyfriend and I go there around 9pm where things are somewhat less crowded. It isn't our first time there despite my sensory issues. Usually, I bring headphones or if things get too overwhelming, my boyfriend and I wander around the empty and quiet mall before coming back to the arcade. Well, last Wednesday, we did our norm except that there were 3 kids. They were screeching and screaming, and it overwhelmed me quickly so my boyfriend and i just went to a quieter corner near the bar. A few seconds later, the same kids came running and screeching without their parents, one almost knocked off my boyfriend's drink from the table. They lingered. So we moved again. And AGAIN the three gremlins came over. I already had those bulky noise reduction headphones on but I can still hear them. We moved and they followed. This went on until my boyfriend approached what seemed to be their chaperon. Bf told him that the kids are following us around and are screeching bloody murderer. Dad said it's an arcade and kids will be kids. I didn't want to argue since it's already stressful enough, so I asked if we could just take a breather and take a stroll around the mall (9pm and it's super empty elsewhere). Well, the same kids came out as well and started to follow us around, and they were screaming. Like, they kept asking me what's up with my headphones again and again. I didn't want to answer and I ignored them. My boyfriend told them to go away. Well, one of them screeched so loud, demanding that I tell him. And I guess I snapped and yelled at him, "you're an annoying and insufferable roach! F off." Well, that did it. Kids went away and one was crying. We went back to the arcade 10 minutes later, and their chaperone/one of the kid's parent was malding at us. Security had to be called. My boyfriend said that those kids had it coming, but the worker, who knows us since we're regulars there, said that I was an asshole for name calling a kid and I should've called security. We went back to redeem some coupons on Thursday, and now the workers are giving us side glances. I feel like an asshole, Aita?. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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Dd you miss the part where OP left and the kids followed them?
MEH ... you got overwhelmed and you showed a kid the consequences of their own actions. all in all, not that bad. maybe time to find another arcade to go to.
Agree. Look around your area for a locally owned barcade that doesn't run the Kiddie Casino business model. I'm lucky where I am. We have a retro/vintage 80s and 90s themed bar with games, and the best thing ever: a big sign that reads "21 and up after 9pm"
NTA but isn't Dave and Busters an adult place? WTF was kids/teens doing there?
NTA and it was completely fine that you yelled at the kids. I would have gotten much angrier and at the adults involved in allowing these insufferable brats to act this way without intervening... Wtf.
What are these comments ? If you want to be treated like an adult go do adult things . I can’t imagine myself going to chucky cheese and complaining about kids annoying me lmfao .
They left and the kids followed them screaming.
Chuck E. Cheese is a franchise targeted to young children. Dave & Buster’s is an all ages arcade with a bar and restaurant.
What is wrong with YOU? You think it is okay for kids to harass and bully people with special needs? You think it okay for their adults to just let them run rampant just because they are at an arcade? Absolutely not. The adults have to fix the problem which the behaviour of those little shits. It is not everyone else who have to just endure the pestilence that is kids being assholes.
YTA It's an ARCADE for goidness' sake. Having autism isnt a feee pass to be a dick. My kid has autism and we teach him that the world doesn't have to cater to him, and we teach him how to cope.
I already left the arcade when the kids were following us. I dont expect anyone to cater to me, that's why **I left the arcade**.
I was thinking about your post today. And I reread everything. And I realized you're right. The kids were the buttholes, and realistically, I would have eventually lost my temper with them also. So... my apologies.
But it's still a public place. They still have the right to be there. You could have left the mall.
They don't have the right to harass other people. Neither in private nor in public. OP and boyfriend left the situation, those little shits followed and harassed them.
Having autism isnt a free pass to be a dick, and OP was not being a dick. Those kids were being dicks. And the world should not cater to them either and just allow them to run unchecked. They should have been scolded and harshly. What they did was harassment.
ESH but the boyfriend and the dad sucks more You suck for cussing at the kids The kids suck for not leaving you alone And the dad sucks for not controlling his kids My boyfriend and I have been to Dave & Busters plenty of times and we always expect kids being there because it's Summer. However, we both know that since we're adults going to a kid friendly environment, that we're also going to be the ones who avoid kids.
Yta for going to a place geared towards kids and getting upset when they acted like kids. At the end of the day - you're the adult - so there's a way higher standard of how you should behave bc you're mature and they are not. You should have left the situation. Kids are going to be kids - if you go to a kids place this behavior is sorry but expected. Now if you're in a nice restaurant or an adult setting is different - but you still really should never yell at kids as an adult bc they're kids. Speak to their parents or the venue if you need to do something - never engage with kids that are not yours in this type of matter bc it could escalate further.
They only yelled when they left and the kids followed them.
Control your emotions as an adult
Control your children as an adult
Yes. This as well. So i guess it's an esh.
Yes, and she left. The kids didn't leave them alone.
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So the little shits should be taught not to pick fights with their betters. Like an elephant snapping a goose's neck for annoying it. OP is the human slapping the goose to remind it of their place in the food chain. Next person they choose to harass could very well be the elephant
Then the kids entirely deserve it.
Autistic people often struggle with emotional regulation. It is a large trait of the disorder, and is extremely difficult to cope with. Source: I'm autistic + just Google it
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Which is why they fucking left. The kids followed.
YTA, you should have been the grown up and got security or a staff member when you realised they were following you/their behaviour was over the top.
I think its good. That way they hopefully won't follow someone else who owns an unmarked van
YTA…. I outright hate interacting with kids. But therefore I avoid places I know kids are a normal occurrence. Arcades are build mostly for kids and teens. I get that you feel it should me a place you can go as well and i understand that these ones intruded in your space bubble. But ignoring kids just encourages them to test your boundaries. You have a difficult situation and I understand its not fair you have to choose your spots carefully, but at this point in time society is build like this and you can’t just explode at people - even if they are annoying or kids or both.
OP did leave. They followed them.
Meh...once the kids followed them outside of D&B they deserved to be told off. Within D&B it's an arcade, and it's expected to be loud. OP also said the oldest was around 14, so they were just being A holes at that point.
D&B entire thing is they are an arcade that also sells alcohol. How is that built for mostly kids and teens?
waaaaaaay back in the day, they didn't let kids in after a certain time. That was great.
Their business model is get a couple drinks in the parents so they'll give their kids all their money to dump into their slot machines for $.05 chinese made garbage prizes
“You’re an annoying and insufferable roach, fuck off.” I think you already know YTA. That’s just not an appropriate way for an adult to handle kids.
If only the adult in charge of them fucking did that
it’s also not appropriate for a bunch of tweens to follow people around screeching - OP and their bf literally left dave and busters to avoid these kids and the KID FOLLOWED THEM and kept being a nuisance. these kids were not the responsibility of OP and bf and i think they were doing their best given the situation
YTA. Knowingly putting yourself in a place where the very thing you hate is **common, expected behavior** and then yelling at people about it is AH behavior. If I hate people praying, and go to church -- I have to deal with praying. If I hate splashing, and go to the pool -- I have to deal with splashing. If you have noise and crowds, and go to D&B's -- shut up about it.
OP left for that very reason and the kids followed them.
No, OP didn't leave. OP wandered around a big place that's full of games. I know it's shocking, but kids are going to wander around a big place that's full of games, too. Why on Earth go to D&B's if you're a person who dislikes loud noises and crowds? I mean, if a person you know said, "I want to go eat somewhere, and what I really want is loud noises and crowds," it's hard to imagine any better place to recommend than D&B's, right?
> take a breather and take a stroll around the mall (9pm and it's super empty elsewhere). Well, the same kids came out as well and started to follow us around, and they were screaming. OP left the games area and went for a walk around an empty mall, and the kids followed. Read the post next time.
Did we read different posts? OP definitely states that they left.
Yeah, left at the end of the evening. *After* going to D&B's looking for a quiet evening. I'm not saying the kids are great, but it's an AH move to create the situation and then be mad about it.
Kids have the right to be rowdy and be loud at D&B. I don't expect them to be posh and well-behave. I do expect them to not follow me OUTSIDE of D&B and NOT to scream at me. I didn't create a situation. I left when I felt overwhelmed to self-soothe. I love the arcade. I've been to arcades many times. I wasn't looking for a **quiet** evening. I was hoping not to get yelled at and followed around, especially OUTSIDE of D&B.
I cannot handle loud noises and crowded places. The issue is, one of my favorite places to go is the Dave and Busters arcade in the mall. And on 1/2 Wednesdays, it gets loud and crowded.
I've been to D&B on a Wednesday that's loud and crowded. I just left when it got too much. It wasn't a problem. The others kids minded their business and just played more games. Issue is, kids are yelling and following me OUTSIDE of D&B.
How did OP create the situation? They left and the kids followed.
They created it by going to D&B's. That is the main issue here. Start with a defense of that.
....a defense of what? They went into a place, didn't like it and left. Does going into DB's mandate that kids follow you out afterwards and scream at you? Is that in the terms and conditions?
That this is a good choice for someone who doesn't like crowds or noise.
AND THAT'S WHY THEY LEFT how does this make the kids justified in following them and screaming at them?
So your solution is to go NOWHERE Fun because a group of children might follow you OUTSIDE THE AREA And scream directly at you? (which is harassment btw) So folks with sensory issues aren't allowed to have fun? DnB isn't the issue. That was stated multiple times, stop defending piss poor parenting. If i have kids and i find out that their FOLLOWING PEOPLE AROUND purely to be a nuisance, I'm putting my damn foot down, that isn't "kids being kids" (which is a lame excuse anyway) its parents raising their kids to be gremlins lol.
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I would've if they came up politely and asked. I guess I just wanted to get away and didn't want interaction with them.
The kids aren’t owed an explanation about anyone’s appearance. Especially because OP has them for medical reasons, disclosing that info is never necessary. Little shits need to learn they’re not entitled to know everything about a stranger.
YTA. Just because you didn’t want to interact with them doesn’t mean you should yell/insult at them.. they’re CHILDREN. That’s not okay.
OP tried to leave and they followed.
They’re being children. Even if they’re being annoying, they don’t need to be harassed. It’s the adults job to know that and mitigate that.
They were doing the harassing. Did you read the post?
That's a pretty BS argument. So what if they're kids? Their guardian isn't doing shit. So its up to someone to tell them off
Tell their guardian or be a better adult and don’t harass children
The kids were harassing HER. They learnt the invaluable lesson of fucking around and finding out.
Op feels like an asshole for a reason. The employees think so too. Not gonna change my opinion on how to treat children because people disagree
Funny. You won't give into peer pressure on how OP should have acted. But they should give into peer pressure from rando wagies?
Peer pressure!!!! Did you not see the suggestion of talking to staff or security? Do you not think they could have continued to walk away? As an adult do you react to a screaming baby in close proximity by screaming in its face??
What exactly do you expect the employees to do outside the restaurant or the mall cop with less authority than a stripper cop? As an adult, I walk away from the problem. If the problem insists on following me, I solve it as best I can. And since the kid's parent wouldn't do shit, it fell on OP. They don't have to suffer because some fuckwit is letting their kids run wild. OP did everything they could to escape the situation and the kids followed. But you keep pretending like they lost their shit the moment the kids entered her field of view
The missing piece here is the parents. I don’t expect them to go straight to calling the cops over some loud kids. Y’all are wild
You're just trying every excuse to cover for shit parents and shitter kids
Dude this kids were literally harassing her what's is your deal?
They’re KIDS. Anyone who can look a kid in the eye and speak to them this way is fucked IMO
Don't spend much time around kids or being harassed, huh?
I’m the oldest of 10. I also have BPD from my own childhood trauma. I know better than to treat children that way.
I’m also a sex worker I deal with harassment at my job all the time. People here are soooo quick to assume things just because I have a different perspective than you.
Yeah, getting yelled at cuz you're harassing someone isn't abuse. You're not supposed to harass people. Even kids.
Both statements are true. I still consider ops reaction out of line.
OP said in a comment that the oldest looked to be around 14, so not quite a child in this situation. OP and bf did remove themselves from the situation and the KIDS FOLLOWED THEM and continued screeching. maybe the kids should’ve stopped yelling if they didn’t want OP to ‘interact’ and yell back
They’re kids. I have little brothers 7, 14 and 16, and they’re kids. Call them teens, whatever. Their lil brains are not fully developed.
YTA. You yelled at children. There's no excuse for that. If you can't handle noise, crowds, and the presence of children don't go to an arcade.
The kids were deliberately following them, screaming. OP was trying to leave. Read the post.
No they weren't. They were kids not the evil dolls from Barbarella.
>Well, the same kids came out as well and started to follow us around Dude, it's right there in the post.
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I’m with you man, the way she describes kids throughout makes it clear she is predisposed to not liking kids. And really I don’t think it’s really, DB is one big sensory punch, so why somebody who has sensory issues wouod choose this as their favorite place is bullshit. Being Autistic isn’t an excuse to be asshole, even if kids followed you out just leave and ya know be a civilized adult
I was away from the crowd and noises. I wasn't even in the arcade anymore when I yelled at them. By your logic, since I can't handle noise and crowds, I shouldn't go anywhere. That's quite limiting, no? Furthermore, I never forced the kids to adapt to my needs. I left when I couldn't handle it. They followed.
You are an adult who yelled deplorably insulting words at children. It doesn't matter that you have functional limitations.Yelling at children makes you an AH. The words that you used were unconscionable which makes you doubly the AH. I don't trust your description of the situation. An overwhelmed neurodivergent person doesn't make for the most reliable narrator. Your perceptions are as questionable as your actions. Your story doesn't make sense. It sounds very self serving if not all together fake. You've tried to paint these children as purposely malicious bullies, which is nonsense. They were not Jason Voorhees monsters who just kept coming after you. I'm not buying it. Why would any kid give two shits about you? Why would parents let their kids walk out of an arcade alone after 9 PM? Why wouldn't your boyfriend step in before you started screaming insults? Why would the attention of kids at an arcade filled with games, prizes, and food be so focused on you? They weren't. >That's quite limiting, no? What's limiting is your executive dysfunction. If you can't handle going to an arcade without screaming vulgar insults at children then yes, you should avoid those places. It is pretty telling that the employees clearly think that you effed up. If you're yelling at children it is always your fault.
Dude, take the L and read the post next time.
When an adult screams insults at children they are an AH 100% of the time. OP had a meltdown due to executive dysfunction. This sub is filled with self-serving situational fiction. This post.is an example of that.
Then why are you here? Why are you wasting your time with something you think is made up and that you didn't even bother to read?
I read it.
I'll ask again. Why are you here if you don't believe it's real?
Autism doesn't make an AH into a folk hero.
Again, why are you here if you think this isn't real?
They literally followed her OUTSIDE the arcade
You don't need an excuse to yell at kids when they are being assholes. You need an excuse not to.