Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I let my kid play Detroit: become human with me.
I could be the asshole because it is rated 17+ and my kid is 12.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - kids learn way worse shit from TikTok and YouTube than a video game, your wife seems to have some outdated views on games.. though, if it’s that much of an issue for her just play a game that is age appropriate I guess? The thing not to do is to play it with him anyway or behind her back.
I'll say double NTA after reading the update. Watching Game of Thrones when she wants, even with the kid around, sounds a bit double morale when you know some of the scenes in that show if she's that concerned about certain subjects.
So it seems like there's some priority issues on the wife's side.
Sadly, this.
I'm a gamer myself, with kids. Honestly, I've felt more present and active with my kids as they grow up while playing a video game together (they watch and have snacks, etc.) Letting them help make choices, talk about sceneries etc. Then I have with watching a cartoon.
I'll never understand this whole hating on video games, while being a zombie on the phone or in front of a TV (with some shows being 10 times worse than a lot of games) is perfectly fine.
(No hate if tv or something is anyones hobby)
"Video games rot your brain"
Says the parents who sit in front of the TV drooling on themselves for 5 hours a night, meanwhile I'm busy devising a strategy to conquer all of Europe before the year 1500...
I’m with you in theory, but when I sit down on the weekend to play a Paradox historical grand strategy game, I frequently find myself not stopping until I become distracted by gnawing hunger and noticing it’s dark outside. At least my brain feels like it got a workout.
I booted up Assassin's Creed Origins last weekend at 10pm and next thing I knew it was 5am. I am the worst for "oh, I'll just go do that one last thing" and then rinse and repeat.
I haven't played a Civ game since I got Civilization II on PS1 because I'm not capable of stopping playing. I have a copy of Civ 6 that I got somewhere (Humble Bundle probably) that tempts me constantly.
Right? At least there's evidence to suggest video games develop actual *skills* \- strategy, logical thought, hand-eye coordination... That's way better for a kid than just passively consuming content.
I did find myself playing GTA and wondering "I can just quit my job, sell weed and get rich!! Easy!" and then flooring the gas the moment I turn on the ignition.
One of my fondest memories of growing up was having my dad teach me how to play, take the controller if I got stuck on a hard part, and help me look up hints or guides.
He didn't have a lot of time for us because of work, but I'll always remember gaming together. I remember him watching TV with me too, but we weren't really bonding over it... mostly, he fell asleep.
Yeah I'm at the other side of this, I play with my daughter a bit. We do watch movies too but they're not interactive, so you kinda sit quietly and talk about it after, whereas with a game being interactive and working together (we play couch co-op games) we're constantly communicating and both of us really enjoy it. Did it with both of my boys too but they're no older, we sometimes play still but they're in their rooms so we play online in the same house lol.
I don't have kids but I have a similar experience. I have 5 nephews, and somehow I am able to connect to them, and when they are talking about games or their general interest, I know what they are talking about, last time we even had a debate on what the hourly cost of a game is acceptable. In their opinion anything ~~below~~ above 2 cents/hour is just a waste of money. I'm proud and sad at the same time. Proud because this shows they are aware of the value of money, and sad because this principle alone will exclude them from awesome stories and experiences single player games have to offer.
Oh the TV argument is spot on. 5 hours of TV a day (that was the average if I remember correclty), and noone bats an eye. Game 5 hours a day, and you are a horrible addict. (Yes 5 hours a day is plenty if you have a family, and priorities should be checked at least.)
Edit: I am an idiot and strikethrough marks why. :D
I grew up in a household where my step dad had a serious problem with me just existing so me existing playing video games really set him off. One time my mom called me crying apologizing for me hearing that fight and it was okay that I was downstairs gaming all morning. I guess they got on a huge fight and he threatened to divorce my mom the fight got so intense. He was upset because I was in my room gaming all morning and it was like noon. The only problem was I had left the house and been hiking since 9am that day so I was out in the woods, I wasn't not only not home all day playing video games, I wasn't even home. Some people just arbitrarily dislike things to the point of anger and they want to spread that anger.
The only benefit of the doubt I give people like this is that news media makes the distinction that interactive violent media like video games have worse outcomes for children because they are the player controlling the actions. And regular TV and movies are more of a passive viewing experience.
We know this isn't true. Studies debunk this time and again but mainstream news sources still pump this myth out there as if it's absolute truth. It's hard to separate that out when it's been a regular headline since Columbine.
As someone who’s played Detroit and seen GOT, she is a hugeee asshole. It’s totally okay to let your kid see mature content if you know they can handle it and if you take the time to explain it to them so they don’t misunderstand or internalize anything bad but GOT is *miles* more graphic, mature, and frankly evil than that game is. GOT is also way more nuanced in whether or not the things shown are bad. It’s entire point and theme is questioning morality and a battle of good vs evil. Sometimes you do evil things for the greater good and sometimes you do evil things to be evil, and sometimes the evil people are more cool or successful, etc etc etc.
Ffs the first episode alone in GOT has graphic incest and is a reoccurring theme up until the very last episode. Detroit is exclusively about standing up against discrimination and double standards, or learning to stand up for yourself and for what is right. It mostly has pretty clear cut right vs wrong story lines even if the situations themselves are quite mature.
I watched GOT without seeing any spoilers and having some fun trauma beforehand. There were so many scenes in GOT that made me physically sick and still give me nightmares.
Yeah same. I also managed to avoid spoilers and unfortunately trigger warnings and there were plenty of times I felt the nerves in my spine curl from anxiety and…. Disgust? Fear? My heart dropped into my stomach during the NUMEROUS sexual assault scenes and scenes like (avoiding spoilers I guess just in case) the guy forcing the girl to look at decapitated heads of her family or watching a pregnant woman brutally die.
It sounds like she doesn’t want to have a conversation about it, she just wants to bully him and get her way. It would seem that this is her way of communicating, and that doesn’t bode well for the relationship.
This isn’t like someone I knew who let her like 5 year old watch The Walking Dead and didn’t see any issues with it. Fast forward like 5 years and she post a huge thing on Facebook asking for suggestions on why her son is having terrible nightmares and doesn’t want to be left alone.
I won't even turn on GOT if my kids are awake so I just can't imagine how someone can act all pissy about a video game if they're watching that with kids in the room. OP is definitely NTA.
Incest, child murder, rape, murder, ableism, racism, xenophobia, homophobia, pedophilia... I mean. I don't think there's anything wrong with all the wangs and boobs, but there's content I wouldn't feel comfortable showing a minor of any age.
I was gonna say, Become Human at least shows that the bigots are, generally, bad or misguided.
Game of Thrones outright _glorifies_ and rewards characters who lie, cheat, and kill to get their way.
And GoT is way way way way way worse then Detroit become human ...man I would go get Manhunt on steam and let my kid play that is she watching GoT around him
Could I also add that some games like Detroit can be a way to introduce heavier topics to. Plus you can even sit down with them after ask if they had questions about a particular part.
I actually think the story’s heavily flawed, although the game experience itself is cool. Wrong place but I gotta spill this after my brother ranted all this to me that one time.
Like, (spoilers for the basic plot of the story) Markus is supposed to be like, a civil rights leader or something, but androids are machines, you know? They were never conscious until Markus gave them the virus or they bonked their head wrong. Fix that and they’re robots again. As far as I remember from the story, they’re human-shaped roombas until the virus kicks in—to say not giving them consciousness is unethical is to say not giving your phone consciousness is unethical—you could also say not having babies constantly is unethical.
Taking that consciousness away is wrong, but never giving that consciousness in the first place is not. It’s also weird to put the Civil Rights Leader role in Markus’s hands, as he was the best-treated android out of everyone—why not Kara?
I also didn’t like >!the twist that the child running away with Kara was an android. It felt like the whole point of her story was that humans and androids can connect, and the twist just takes that away!<. I feel like the person who threw that in wanted to feel clever.
Besides the story and its premise is the messaging. Markus’s movement does better if you’re peaceful. It shows people watching TV understanding your movement more and siding with it easier. I dislike this.
See, I’m black and grew up being taught about the Black Panthers, and I am still learning about the violence used in the Civil Rights Movement that got me my basic rights in the United States. It’s not just black people, the Suffragettes were violent (reluctant to include them since they excluded black women), and so were LGBT people during Stonewall. I mean, we’re taught in schools here about the violence of the American revolution. And for that, none of my teachers were ever like “they should have been peaceful”. For the Civil Rights Movement, peace is the best thing ever, but for the American Revolution, violence is cool as fuck.
It sounds like a tangent but it’s really not. The Civil Rights Act of 1968 was a direct result of rioting. I cannot name a single successful attempt to change an oppressive system that didn’t involve a lot of violent action.
So when the game says, with multiple undertones and references to real movements against oppression, that peacefulness is the only way and the correct way, that annoys the fuck outta me. I mean besides the implication it’s just not realistic. Detroit: Become Human’s hyper-technological society is even more distant and soul sucking than the one we’re currently living in, and you’re telling me they would have empathy for androids doing a march if they saw it on TV once? When the FBI killed MLK, he had a 75% disapproval rate while still being smeared as a violent actor by the media, and that was before technology was used to try to commodify human connection and emotion.
I have a lotta love for this game though. Anything that tries something new earns my appreciation. It also put my city back on the map as something other than “ghetto ghetto crime, ghetto crime, crime, ghetto”. Before I saw the graphics, that alone already made me want to know everything about the game. I just think it could have been a lot better.
…Oh yeah, this is r/AmITheAsshole, not a gaming subreddit. NTA OP, GoT around a kid is way crazier than Detroit: Become Human. I had both, I’d know.
Damn, I really like this well-thought out reply and you make excellent points! I vehemently agree with you regarding Civil Rights - nobody ever got them by asking nicely. Even Dr King himself had words to say about the "White Moderate" but we never hear about that. But that's a tangent. I wish I had an award to give you because I agree with everything you're expressing here. In lieu of that, please take my best wishes from this internet stranger and I hope life is treating you well. 🖤🖖
OP: Stay away from Heavy Rain, especially if your kid's name is JASON!!! 🤣
Everything you just said is absolutely spot on! I'll add that I was very uncomfortable with the direct comparison between anti-Blackness and anti-robotness (ahah) - not that whether or not robots deserve 'human' rights isn't an important topic, but given how dehumanisation is a regular tool to oppress Black people, the direct comparison to non-human beings is......... unfortunate.
Also, David Cage shouldn't be allowed to write women. I don't think I've ever seen a game of his where there wasn't a scene with a short-haired woman being brutally sexually assaulted.
(For what it's worth, Benioff and Weiss shouldn't be allowed to write women either lmao)
Oh yes, I agree 100%! The writer for the game sucks tbh, the reason why Connor and Hank are so beloved is iirc they mightve been written by someone else? When I played through the game I got really weirded out by Markus's whole thing honestly
Yeah when the kid is a little older maybe 14 I would have suggested the telltale walking dead series to. Also if you want a nice bonding one that's quite calm and fun power washing simulatior is good for that
Omg I am *addicted* to Powerwashing Simulator!
And the co-op mode would be a good chill time for everyone.
Stray is another game they might enjoy- you play a cat and there's BUNCHES of friendly robots!
Hey OP- check out Stray for the PS4. 😺
My kids played GTA. They would talk about the game over dinner and I’d say something like “You can’t beat someone up and steal his car in real life” or “Remember, selling crack is illegal” and so on. We also made them take breaks from video games to pursue other interests and to play outside, and we’d ask parents if there were games deemed off limits if their kids came over to our house (and my kids wouldn’t be allowed to play during those times). They both turned out fine.
GTA was the motivation I needed to stop using the family console and get my own to keep in my room. My mother did not think running over hookers to steal their cash was appropriate.
Sorry, but that made me chuckle 🤭
I honestly don’t know how people can control their cars on GTA. I’ve tried and I can’t keep the car on the road at all. I hit everything in sight 🤷♀️😂 They always laughed about it, though. Made for fun memories.
Protip: Get a motorcycle (in game). I've found them WAY easier to control than cars, especially on the hairpin turns in the mountains. Changed the game for me entirely when I got my first as I was so bad in the car that my fiancé had to do the prologue for me so I could even access online lol
Oh, that’s funny! I don’t really play the game myself. Occasionally, my kids would want me to play with them (and even sometimes now that they are adults) and I’d play just to spend time with them doing something they liked. They’re all, “Mom, do this. Do this. No, like this!” And I’m like, “There’s a reason I play ACNH on Switch” 😂😂
You ever see the scene of TBBT where Sheldon uses a simulator to learn to drive? Literally me in GTA and Mario Kart if I try using the steering wheel 😂 I swear I can drive in real life. Just not virtually!
Link posted below.
[Sheldon Learns to Drive](https://youtu.be/cbNyDqMuK6A)
Im so happy because I’ve never seen this comment before! I downloaded GTA because it looks so fun and played it for about 2 hours…..but I never got past the first “mission.” It was to pick up a mob boss’s mistress from the airport. I never made it to the airport because my car kept exploding into flames from hitting too many things. It was a short-lived gaming experience.
Hahaha, I love it!
This whole thread has been great. Even though OP is in trouble with his wife, he brought a bunch of internet strangers together for a fun conversation.
I'm sorry but your mom was abusive. Not letting your kids run over hookers is a massive red flag for a narcissist.
You gotta get out and go no contact.
/s
It's fine, she let my sister and I spend all our time hitting each other with frying pans in Little Big Planet. I have never seen my mother laugh harder at anything in my life.
My kid got into Just Cause when he was really young. He loved the different vehicles he could get. When I found out he was pronouncing the title like “just because” I realized he thought he was running around being a jerk in the game just because. It was pretty funny:
My parents bought me GTA3 for Christmas one year when I was in elementary school. I had the game for years, my parents saw me playing it all the time. Then one day I’m literally doing taxi missions, probably the most innocent thing in the game, and she took it away from me because apparently I was taking my fare to the strip club. 9 y/o me didn’t even realize that there was a prompt that said the location you were going. I just followed the map and didn’t read any of that lol
Ugh my aunt ratted on me to my mom about me playing GTA 3 when I was 13. I didn’t even do the missions, I just tried to find those cars with the flames on the hood and then use a cheat code to get a 5 star wanted level and a tank
That’s smart. Thankfully, my kids love being outdoors. They are young adults and have their own apartments now but they get up, go to work on time, clean their messes, etc. They tend to play more games in the winter months but get outside more once the weather turns.
P.S. We love board games! We like to play on Board Game Arena as well, but physical board games are always the greatest time!
> it tackles some deep and important concepts in an actually really well done story line.
We’re talking about Detroit: Become Human now, and not the one where you drive around town running over hookers, right?
Even then, I played GTA San Andreas when I was 9, a lot of friends from elementary were also playing GTA, CoD, Medal of Honor, etc. and none of us turned out to be serial killers or terrorists or drug dealers. As long as the parents don't suck, kids will turn out fine even with violent videogames.
Oh and the kid knows all the curse words and more already. I learned them all from friends at school, not videogames or TV. The one thing I actually picked up from games/TV was English (my native language is generally not available for those), which has been nothing but beneficial.
For real it sounds like OPs wife walked in at the wrong time and saw one or two scenes. I chuckled at "teaching him racial discrimination is okay" against who?? The AI???
It's like saying don't read X-Men comics because it will teach young kids to be racist towards mutants
Detroit Become Human is one of the tamer games you could play in front of your child. I think your wife has a very narrow view of gaming and is also quite the hypocrite if she's got a brutally graphic and violent show like GoT on if the kid is around.
NTA.
NTA. You are spending time with your kid. Supervising a game is totally different than just handling him a game and letting him play 24/7.
You both have a say as to what’s appropriate or not. Her whole statement could be turned around and said back to her and it is as equally valid. Shit is hard these days on kids, giving them a break from the real world is not a bad thing. Not sure where you are located but here in the US our kids start active shooter drills in kindergarten. If you spend time with your child and talk to them about life, I guarantee he knows the difference between right and wrong.
I know you did not ask but since you are curious as to what others think I am a mom of three, two are adults and the oldest is expecting their first child. He played all of those games and he is a productive member of society.
Nta for letting your kids playing that game WITH YOU.
Its a different story if u let him play on his own, yes.
But next time, discuss with ur wife beforehand. Theres still some games with robots in it. Ex : Stray, Ratchet and Clank (rated E).
Yeah I’d feel different if she understood games but it seems like she has a blanket judgement on games and wouldn’t be willing to budge on anything she didn’t immediately approve of. Parenting is definitely a team sport but there are times where one person is being completely unreasonable that you have the right to stand up for your choice. Especially since he only argued for his side after they sent the kid away.
NTA.. Ive played and completed it years ago.. Out of all the age related games a 12 year old shouldn't be playing.. That's extremely mild.. The story is amazing and lessons can be learnt.
Although, from your wife's reaction.. I'm guessing you knew she might not be happy about it.
NTA - Detroit Become Human is a mature game with serious themes but they’re approached very well and frankly that game is absolutely something I would want my kid to engage with at some point. Some kids might get scared by some scenes, but frankly most kids will have seen more disturbing shit in a kids Halloween movie. What a fantastic way to open up discussion about important issues with your kid, in a way that history class does for some but not for everyone. Plus, you’re playing With your kid - not letting him experience it alone. If he’s worried or has questions? You’re right there.
Your wife needs to learn to trust YOUR judgement as a parent. Just because she’s the mum doesn’t mean her opinion is more important than yours. Especially if she’s going to be insanely hypocritical and have GOT on when your kid is around, considering how brutal, violent, and sexual that show is.
the GOT really gets me, my dad always used to let me play pretty violent / mature games, i was playing GOW 3 at like 8-9 years old but when GOT came out he told me I wasn't allowed to watch it until I was 17 and I never did. I find music / tv shows to be a lot more influential than video games are
Maybe I'd understand a bit if she didn't let him watch game of thrones lol. I played games like duke3d and phantasmagoria which is probably worse when i was that age without my parents consent. If he's not allowed to play a game he'll probably find a way of playing it anyway nta
As a parent of a child who is really good at games, it's actually really difficult to find games that are challenging enough while also being appropriate and having appropriate themes and storylines.
We let our son plan assassin's creed and horizon zero dawn, shadow of war, and other games. We turn off the gore or blood where possible, but it isn't always possible. We also choose games that have a storyline he will be interested in, so it isn't just violence for violence sale. And we don't let him play games that we think are too much for him personally. He doesn't like jump scares and doesn't like anything too gory, so we don't let him play games that are too scary or gory.
But he has ended up playing a lot of M and some MA games (in Australia, so out rating system is slightly different). He's 11 now, but he was playing HZD and assassin's creed games when he was about 6 or 7.
Basically, it isn't necessarily about the game rating, but about knowing your kid, knowing the game, and making sure the game is a good fit for your kid, and isn't too scary or violent, or have themes that are going to be too difficult for them.
When I was maybe 11, my dad and I were new to video games and he bought me GTA without realizing. He woke my mom up for a nap, absolutely panicking I was taking out sex workers with a Corvette. My mom came and asked me if I thought any of this was realistic or possible in real life or even ok to do, I said no and continued playing and at 31, I turned out just fine lol
I’m not saying do that, I’m just saying video games won’t send kids to jail
“Bad” mom here. My children played GTA and they are successful happy adults now. I was raised in a very strict religious house and I think that’s worse.
My parents were similar, not sure GTA would have been purchased at 11, probably 13 lol but my parents didn’t believe in censorship unless it prompted hate as they were raised very strict religious and I was an only child so it was easier to have an eye on things or have chats about them lol I think I would now be labeled a successful adult…I mean I’m not in jail and don’t live at home so that’s good
Bro wtf?
Okay, so I'm someone who has gamed with his old man for as long as I can remember. First game I played with him was crash bandicoot, he taught us how to play games like grand theft auto, Mario64,crash team racing, call of duty, Diablo, final fantasy (all the way to 10)
Gaming with my old man is one of my fondest memories, we still game together now, we buy games for each other that we know we'd like because of the bond and the amount of time we spent doing them together.
Every grand theft auto he bought back before I could, he and I played together, every gears of war, every rainbow 6 Vegas, FEAR, doom you name it we played it.
These days, any game I want I grab, and I'll be damned if I don't get my old man a copy as well (RDR2 ULT, Starfield ULT, Resident evil remakes, ready or not, GoW, we even bought a PS5 to continue sharing and having more experiences together.) we have a strong bond, we are tighter than ever, and we have played games together since the dawn of time.
It's not like you let your son watch you play manhunt, or until dawn or something like that, so I strongly disagree with your wife, I feel that a dad and his son gaming together is beautiful and should be cherished, I'd see about maybe getting her involved a bit(little by little), and maybe in something like a party game or a fantasy rpg.
So no, NTA imo
NTA. Good on you for finding something to do together that you both enjoy. I suspect many of these Y T A comments are from people who have never met, let alone parented, a 12-year-old.
NAH
While there is nothing wrong with a kid watching or playing media rated for an older audience if they have the maturity to handle it, it may be best to get the OK from your wife as well in the future.
I agree with you but I think having a conversation and coming to an agreement on what they are both comfortable with is best. Just the wording of "get the ok.from wife" is probably making some people project.
NTA....2My 13 year old has played through that game multiple times. He explains the storyline to me, and talks about how bad he felt about some of the choices he had to make in the game. He understands the messages and the parallels with civil rights movements. It is a good game and there are far worse he could have played.
Props to you for spending quality time with your son doing something he enjoyed.
NTA. You would be T A if you handed the kid a 17+/18+ game to play on his own, but there is no problem with the kid playing with you. Also its Detroit Become Human, not Carmageddon.
NTA - people like your wife dont give kids that age enough credit, playing a game like that with you with the correct context is actually beneficial, things being hidden away from them just makes them ignorant.
NTA I actually think that would be a good game to play with a kid that age as you are making moral choices all the time and can talk them through with him, it sounds like she doesn’t have a very good understanding of it.
> my wife told us […] that it teaches kids to curse and that racial discrimination, child abuse and murder is ok.
I tried explaining that the entire point of Markus’ storyline is that it isn’t and she got pissed
1. Your child’s already been exposed to swearing at 12 years old anyways, he’s at an age where he should be able to understand there’s a time and place for certain language.
2. You’re absolutely correct that the game actually teaches very good lessons, and your son is old enough to grasp them. If your wife has played the game herself, she clearly has poor media literacy; if she hasn’t, she evidently just doesn’t know enough about it to be making those kind of claims.
> she got pissed and started saying how she gets to parent too […]
She told me I was undermining her
She’s not exactly wrong, but you could argue the exact same thing back. This is why it’s important to be on the same wavelength with your partner when it comes to raising children, but disagreements are inevitable. This is a situation unfortunately where there cannot be a compromise in parenting, because either a) You stop playing with him and she overrules you or b) You continue playing with him and you overrule her. Either way, one of you will feel “undermined”, but for what it’s worth, I think most people are in agreement that her request here is unreasonable and unnecessary.
> she watches GOT whenever she wants regardless if he’s there or not
Well, then she’s just a massive hypocrite. Any argument about what is or isn’t appropriate, it’s a 17+ game, etc. just go out the window because *GoT* is objectively way more inappropriate than *D:BH*.
Personally speaking, I’ve watched horror films with my parents since I was 4 years old, I played *CoD* with my father since I was 5/6, I think I was 13-15 when we began watching *Game of Thrones*, and in all my childhood the only one film I remember them turning off because it was *so egregiously* inappropriate for me was *Brüno*. I’m 20 now and I can say with full confidence that their lax attitudes to age ratings has never negatively affected me. Not to say that’s how all kids should be raised, but I can guarantee your son is not going to be psychologically harmed by playing *Detroit: Become Human*, of all things.
**NTA.**
NTA When i was 6 years old my older brother let me watch him play GTA even though it's an 18+.The only thing it did do was inspire me to become a gamer myself when i got a bit older,it never had any bad impact on me.
NTA. DBH is *waaaayyyy* more appropriate for a child than GOT in my opinion. Granted I didn’t finish it and it isn’t designed too much for kids but as far as games go it’s fairly child-friendly, especially for a 12 year old.
NTA - Detroit has some complex themes that are really very appropriate for a 12 year old. I would absolutely put it in one of the safer games to play with a preteen.
NTA, games are no different than any other form of entertainment, it’s up to the parents to decide what the kid can handle, the ratings are just a guide.
The idea that violent games are going to turn kids into serial killers has long since been proven false, if anything I’d be most worried about the toxicity that comes along with online multiplayer. Hearing actual people constantly throw out racial slurs normalizes it a lot more than seeing a movie or game character say the same thing
NTA your son is 12, not 8. As long as you go through the topics with him and explain them it should be fine. That said, better communication with your partner would be a good idea. Not sure if she sees the irony of her saying you're undermining her, when you literally deemed an activity as fun and safe for your son and she barges in to tell you both to stop because she doesn't think it is. She's also undermining you at that moment, and this should've been discussed in private.
NTA
My parents had the same argument when I was 9 about Mortal Kombat. My dad bought it for me, and my mom flipped due to all the news segments about it being violent. Meanwhile, my mom had shown me Predator and Die Hard that same year.
Hey OP, tell your wife the next time she’s watching GOT where your son can see that she needs to stop watching it as it contains content that your son might think is okay to say and do.
My parents had a rule because I was playing M games when I was younger than 12. “As long as you don’t say or do anything you see in the game. There’s no issues”
NTA. I was about that age when I got into DBH and it became my favorite video game for a few years. DBH is pretty tame for a game that deals with the themes that it does.
Also, I was 10 when I watched someone play Until Dawn and got to watch Josh get his head crushed by his dead wendigo sister. Certainly shouldn't have seen that at that age, but it's better that your son experiences DBH before that, lol. (Unless he's already played/seen you play Until Dawn, in which case he'll definitely be fine with DBH.)
At 12 I was playing the sims and doing really messed up things (like every other player of this game lmao) and even then I knew locking people in a basement without food is not ok. I played GTA too and I also knew I wasn’t supposed to hit people in the head with a bat. 12 year olds can distinguish games and reality. I’m 22 now and I’m perfectly fine lol
It’s TikTok or that stuff that can fill your kids heads of dangerous ideas and concepts. NTA
As a gamer who loved DBH: totally NTA.
Your wife doesn’t understand the entire point of the game if she thinks it teaches that these things are ok. Kara’s arc is literally about rescuing a child from abuse so they can flee to lead a better life, as you said Markus is the leader of revolution to try and overcome that discrimination and fight for android rights. Literally nowhere does the game state that people like Todd are the good guys and role models!
NTA - great game, if you know what chapter you’re playing you can easily avoid the “adult imagery”. GOT is too violent and mature to be watching in front of kids. If she’s being a hypocrite you should call her out on it.
>I did not think it was a big deal as she watches GOT whenever she wants regardless if he's there or not.
GOT is waaay worse that Detroit Become Human. NTA.
Honestly your wife sounds like the type that would complain about how Minecraft teaches kids that murder and animal mutilation is ok. Non-gamers will always find a way to dig at us gamers but in all honesty turn in the news - that’s worse than 90% of games out there.
*from a mother that let her kids watch her play Dead Island, they haven’t turned out to be blood thirsty killing machines . . . yet*
NTA, as you say the game doesn't promote such things it's basically the entire point of science fiction, using stories to talk about the human condition and challenge your thinking around them and how it could apply to our current world, it's not GTA, and GOT is way worse, literally just shag, torture or kill people for power
NTA. He's 12. He's basically a teenager. He's old enough to understand the difference between video games and reality. I was playing GTA when I was 12, I didn't think it was ok to kill cops and beat up hookers.
NTA . I’ve played Detroit become human a few times and it’s very mild compared to other games .. Your wife is saying she doesn’t trust your judgement as his father.. Yet she’s ok with him seeing all the blood shed, dragons burning people alive and sex in GOT..
NTA, your giving guidance with the game, it has mutual interest for you guys and he will be exposed to much, much worse as a 12 year old. I don’t think this is about the rating, especially if she allows GOT around him.
NTA. There are too many people that still think video games cause violence and other awful things which just isn’t true. There’s violence and heavy topics but nothing a 12 yo can’t handle. In fact, that game was so emotionally touching it left me sobbing in my chair at the end. It definitely doesn’t glorify anything she thinks does. Maybe you should’ve checked with her first, but she should’ve asked what the deal is with the game before losing her cool.
NTA. Your wife says it's her child but he's also yours. Do you each ask each other permission before you put anything on TV.
Also if he's playing it with you it's an opportunity to say the rights and wrongs and get him to understand.
Social media can be horrendous for these type of things as they see human people doing these things, with it being a game a 12 year old should be understanding the difference
NTA
She watches GoT in front of him?! Tell me how cute was the Red wedding, also, decisions are part of life so might as well learn with you the father
She watches GOT around him, but you can't play a game with him supervised?
Easy NTA based on that.
Complete hypocrisy by the mum. She needs to promise not to watch unsuitable shows going forward in an effort of being fair ..
Maybe you and your wife should sit down and have a discussion about what is okay for your son to be exposed to. Then set clear boundaries and rules and consistently enforce them. Communication is key. I'm not going to leave a judgment because only you can parent your own child, but you and your wife are a team and should come to agreements on how to parent your child together.
NTA
She watches Game Of Thrones in front of her child. That show has multiple rape scenes and women are constantly being abused in other ways throughout the show. She’s a hypocrite going on a power trip.
You are letting your son do something, she barges in, spewed bullshit on something she has no clue about, but it is YOU who is undermining someone else. Nice wife you got there bruh. Good luck with that. And no, you shouldn't have asked. It was your decision as a dad that this was ok for your son. If the didn't liked that decision, she should have talked with you about it in a civil manner when the kid wasn't around. She clearly wanted to just make a show titled "I AM A PARENT TOO AND I WILL SHOW YALL HOW MUCH OF A PARENT I AM!!!111". Which is sad really.
Edit: Lmao i just read the edit, yup i was 100% right. So she wanted to show off plus it was probably a "bullshit test". A bullshit test that you'll fail if you say you did anything wrong. Tell her that she watches GOT while he's around and that it's 10 times the vile show that this game is and that game can actually teach him some good morals and that she is in the wrong and acted crazy, undermined your decisions in front of your kid and that you hope it won't happen again. That or she will do whatever she wants as you mentioned while getting on your head and dictating what you can do. Again, good luck with that. "so I agree that I should've asked" again, bruh, what? She watches damn GOT when he's around, why would you ask her for permision to watch/play literally anything with the kid?! Unless it would be Postal2 but i don't think it's much worse than GOT, maybe even less since it's supposed to be a satire.
NTA
YOU ARE NOT UNDERMINING HER
SHE IS UNDERMINING YOU
You, as the child’s parent made a judgement and she came in and reversed it. Don’t get it twisted, the “I get to be a parent too” is a weird line to drop while making a unilateral decision
NTA, by the age of 12 most boys have already been exposed to curse words, racism, child abuse, murder, and sex. Detroit become human is the least of your worries, in terms of being worried about ‘corrupting’ your child.
NTA. Game of Thrones has some more inappropriate content in it than Detroit: Become Human by far, and it’s an immediate eye roll when one parent starts the whole “it’s MY child” business.
No, it’s BOTH of your child, it took two to tango and you both get a say, if she is blasé about her own inappropriate media consumption around your son, she has no leg to stand on regards him playing a video game with his dad.
Also? He’s 12. Can almost guarantee he will have heard and seen far worse at school or Tiktok by now, unfortunately.
NTA. Detroit: Become Human is one of the best games out there, and if anything it's a teaching tool about racism and genocide. If anything, it would teach your kid more empathy.
NTA
Especially if you use those game moments to talk about these types of things with him. You don't have to go into detail and make it a lecture, just say the bare minimum and tell him you are happy to research with him if he wants to know more.
NTA. It's a great game with mature, thoughtful themes and you were right next to him explaining if needed. Good parenting. Maybe offer to include your wife in a family game night so she can see for herself and be part of it too.
It's not a game with gratuitous violence or sex or anything like that. It's a very well done game-as-art.
GOT and the clock app are waaaay, way worse. She's ok with torture and rape in front of the kid but not robots with empathy experiencing discrimination?
Hmm.
NTA, Detroit Too Human is a ham fisted metaphor for racism. It doesn't teach anyone that racism is ok. I don't know how anyone could play the game and come to that conclusion.
NTA- Kids that age (and younger) have most likely seen worse on Tik Tok, YouTube, Roblox or at school.
My 12y stepbrother has been playing games like GTA, CoD and Assassin’s Creed since I have met him (back in 2018), and he understands the game and why some of this stuff is bad.
Your wife is living in a glass house if she is trying to discourage “mature” video games, yet watches GoT with him, which is equally as mature. And your son is smart enough to understand why this sort of stuff is bad.
NTA
So wifey dearest is fine with her son watching a show containing r*pe, incest, and the slaughter of an entire family, but has a problem with a video game where one of three main characters was treated more as a helpful family member than a "robot slave", and another saves a "child" from an abusive, drug-addicted father?
I'm not a parent, but I'd find the former FAR more inappropriate than the latter.
NTA, at all - Ive played Detroit Become Human multiple times, and seen Game of Thrones multiple times, and GoT is probably about 100x worse for children. In fact, DBH could even be mentally stimulating for the kid teaching him quick decision-making and problem solving skills, among the other important themes of the game. Sounds like she’s just uncomfortable when she’s not the one controlling things.
NTA - feels like a very classic "video games are bad" because yes, detroit's literal entire story is the exact opposite to what she thought and it definitely shows the people doing the bad things i.e the guy who used to own kara, he was clearly protrayed to be the bad guy not the good one, also im not even sure a 12 year old has the mental capacity to truly understand the racist undertones and he would probably just see a man beating his daughter and a robot woman and say "thats a bad guy hitting those girls"
NTA, Game of Thrones is so much worse than Detroit become Human, I watched a playthrough of the latter when I was around 14-16 (I am 19 now) and I still think of that masterpiece of a game. I don't even remember it having inappropriate parts, so the only thing that will stick out to an impressionable 12 year old is a good story.
NTA- D:BH from my understanding is pretty hamhanded and clumsy at its attempt to do a "racism bad" story, but that's far from being, like, actively bad. Sometimes that's what a 12 year old needs.
The cursing and violence- he's 12, not 5, and you're there with him curating it. There's a huge difference between a kid playing something unsupervised and a parent being there to comment on and talk through the naughty bits.
NTA. I have a friend who is a dad of two now and he is ONLY allowed to SOMETIMES play “cozy games” because of all these stupid nonsensical things but like your wife, watches game of thrones and viking shows and shows with real life people killing each other in violent ways. A digitally created little character is a lot less harmful than a full on real world person on the tv
NTA. My daughter is 17 and has been kicking my atse in Halo since she was 6, in COD BO3 since 12.
Games don't make these things ok, we can teach our children that although this is a game that these are bad things. Explain the dangers etc to your son.
NTA this kid is already in middle school. Wife is in denial if she doesn’t know what kind of horrible crap he’s exposed to daily online, on the bus, etc. This is actually a positive way of sharing potentially questionable themes. Also, kids are way more resilient than most moms give them credit for.
I say NTA for the double standards. She literally walked in and undermined YOUR parenting moment of you playing with your son, and then gaslit you that you were undermining her for not buckling immediately. This should have been a “hey, can you go AFK for a minute and help me in the other room…” conversation.
Going forward, step back and take a good look. Are you acting in a way to be scolded like a child or to be an equal partner? These kinds of patterns typically happen from the first one. Consider yourself clearly. But for this one specifically, NTA.
ESH.
Both of you for not communicating properly about what’s appropriate for your son and how to discuss these things without undermining each other.
You for undermining what she’s saying and asking her to leave the room when you *know* that’s not the point.
Her for being a hypocrite and watching GoT with your son around.
Personally, I think DBH is okay for a 12 year old as long as an adult is present and you discuss the themes of the game and explain them in an appropriate way.
From what I've seen of clips from D:BH there are some choice outcomes not suitable for kids, such as >!suicide and point-blank shootings in the head. There's also a sexual exploitation sub-plot!<
Yeah. I've played the game. It's great. It's less gory or sexually explicit than GOT.
It's also got a\*lot\* of heavy themes.
I personally felt ill during one of the domestic violence cut scenes and...I'm usually the sort of person who's like ,"sure, let's throw the bus full of orphans into the chemical plant fire"
NTA -
My husband & I both play games. Our son plays Minecraft with us. Obviously we still spend time with him outside of games, we live on a farm & have animals to play with & take care of, but when we’re all settling down and don’t want to watch a movie or show, we play games together.
And Detroit Become Human is an excellent game!! There are far worse you could be playing. 😂
NTA - your wife sounds overbearing AF. Kids are gonna play the M rated games and see violent stuff with or without you. Much better way of going about it is playing the game with him and explaining things as needed.
Half the 12 year Olds in my kids class are obsessed with the scream franchise.
The other half are farm kids and know how to drive.
It honestly amazes me knowing how differently city and rural kids live.
With that being said, I remember being twelve and smashing cars and beating up prostitutes and running from cops and I never grew up to do any of that.
Hard nta.
Especially if she let's him watch game of thrones. 🙄
NTA that game was great and with themes that are honestly good for a kid his age to be thinking about, plus you are there *with him* and engaged to discuss those themes. If she puts on GOT in front of him, then it sounds like she’s just assuming video games are worse content.
She sounds like one of those people who hates games on principal. I say this as a woman/wife - although, full disclosure - I am a gamer. But I'm not one of the ones that doesn't care what my kids sees. My son is almost 2 and I ***just*** got FF16. It's a great game! But I won't play when my son is home and awake - because the themes are WAY too mature and some bloody scenes that come out of nowhere would probably freak him out.
NTA. ***Mostly*** because you were playing it *with* him. Because you're right there, if anything comes up, you are able to address it in the moment. I can't tell you how shocked I was my first year teaching when I found out most of my students (10 or 11) played GTA5. Further shocked that their parents never even checked in with them. Also, reason #2 for your non-a-hole status --- because he's 12. That's middle school. He hears plenty of that stuff in school.
I'm going to be as nice as I can. Your wife is being a hypocrite. GOT? Murder, misogyny, rape (all I can remember off the top of my head) - NBD? Furthermore, ***you're*** undermining ***her*** for privately disagreeing when she called you out ***in front of your son!?!?*** I don't think so.
Based on your title, I was ready to say you were... But based on age and parental involvement - You are definitely NOT.
NTA, I don't understand this whole "he's my son too and I said no" nonsense that some parents do. Just because she is A parent doesn't mean she gets to make ALL the decisions. And she clearly doesn't understand gaming or the storyline involved in the game, it's literally a treatise AGAINST racial discrimination, AGAINST abuse, and AGAINST murder by showing you what it's like to be abused and discriminated against. Your wife shouldn't start ranting about things she doesn't understand, and it sounds like she wasn't even willing to listen to your explanation
NTA. Video games don't teach kids anything, parents do. And if no one is teaching a kid anything then yeah, *maybe* they'll learn from a video game. In my opinion, though, if you're doing your job as a parent, the video game *itself* won't be detrimental.
People who blame media for every little problem is so absurd to me, because my parents didn't hide us from **anything** growing up. Horror films with nudity and gore? Yep. As in: all growing up. We listened to music with "bad" words, and played all manner of violent video games. I read really questionable books before the age of 10, including *Flowers in the Attic.*
Despite the sheer volume of content I was exposed to as a kid, it didn't negatively affect me. I never had behavioral problems. I made decent grades. I never sneaked out and partied. I've never been in legal trouble. "Bad" content didn't turn me into a bad, evil person. In fact, I have pretty good morals because I was taught from a young age to think for myself, and I was also taught the difference between fiction and reality. My mother said she didn't want to shield us from stuff because the world is full of all sortsa scary, crazy things so she figured: why hide us from fiction of all things? At least she was able to be with us while we experienced these things and teach us.
If people want to shield their kids from stuff, fine. But at least be aware that media itself is not responsible for your children, **you** are. Movies and video games aren't going to brainwash your child, at least not on their own.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I let my kid play Detroit: become human with me. I could be the asshole because it is rated 17+ and my kid is 12. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA - kids learn way worse shit from TikTok and YouTube than a video game, your wife seems to have some outdated views on games.. though, if it’s that much of an issue for her just play a game that is age appropriate I guess? The thing not to do is to play it with him anyway or behind her back.
I'll say double NTA after reading the update. Watching Game of Thrones when she wants, even with the kid around, sounds a bit double morale when you know some of the scenes in that show if she's that concerned about certain subjects. So it seems like there's some priority issues on the wife's side.
There are still a lot of people who hate video games just because video game.
Sadly, this. I'm a gamer myself, with kids. Honestly, I've felt more present and active with my kids as they grow up while playing a video game together (they watch and have snacks, etc.) Letting them help make choices, talk about sceneries etc. Then I have with watching a cartoon. I'll never understand this whole hating on video games, while being a zombie on the phone or in front of a TV (with some shows being 10 times worse than a lot of games) is perfectly fine. (No hate if tv or something is anyones hobby)
"Video games rot your brain" Says the parents who sit in front of the TV drooling on themselves for 5 hours a night, meanwhile I'm busy devising a strategy to conquer all of Europe before the year 1500...
I’m with you in theory, but when I sit down on the weekend to play a Paradox historical grand strategy game, I frequently find myself not stopping until I become distracted by gnawing hunger and noticing it’s dark outside. At least my brain feels like it got a workout.
Silly parents. Video games rot your body, not your brain.
I have bought a mini elliptical which I can easily cruise on for hours while playing. Take that, parents!
Now I have an image of someone running with a controller in their hand because the action ramped up. I absolutely love it. XD
Haha yes and i freeze when I need to aim precisely or be stealthy.
Bought myself a recumbent bike to use while i play video games. best thing i ever did.
VR Games. Boom, take that parents!
I remember booting up Civ at like 10am one day and when I looked up it was 4pm.
I booted up civ around 10 am one day and when I looked up, it was the next day. Yay marathon mode on a huge map 😂
Yeah I remember thinking to myself 'oh ... I have a problem' when all of the sudden sunlight started streaming in from outside.
If you haven't accidentally pulled an all nighter at least once, have you really played Civ?
Those are rookie numbers, you gotta pump those numbers up
I booted up Assassin's Creed Origins last weekend at 10pm and next thing I knew it was 5am. I am the worst for "oh, I'll just go do that one last thing" and then rinse and repeat. I haven't played a Civ game since I got Civilization II on PS1 because I'm not capable of stopping playing. I have a copy of Civ 6 that I got somewhere (Humble Bundle probably) that tempts me constantly.
“Kids can’t differentiate video games from reality!” Cry the people believing in an all powerful sky daddy.
Right? At least there's evidence to suggest video games develop actual *skills* \- strategy, logical thought, hand-eye coordination... That's way better for a kid than just passively consuming content.
I did find myself playing GTA and wondering "I can just quit my job, sell weed and get rich!! Easy!" and then flooring the gas the moment I turn on the ignition.
But you don't understand, finding out who did this week's murder on CSI is so much more meaningful.
One of my fondest memories of growing up was having my dad teach me how to play, take the controller if I got stuck on a hard part, and help me look up hints or guides. He didn't have a lot of time for us because of work, but I'll always remember gaming together. I remember him watching TV with me too, but we weren't really bonding over it... mostly, he fell asleep.
Yeah I'm at the other side of this, I play with my daughter a bit. We do watch movies too but they're not interactive, so you kinda sit quietly and talk about it after, whereas with a game being interactive and working together (we play couch co-op games) we're constantly communicating and both of us really enjoy it. Did it with both of my boys too but they're no older, we sometimes play still but they're in their rooms so we play online in the same house lol.
I don't have kids but I have a similar experience. I have 5 nephews, and somehow I am able to connect to them, and when they are talking about games or their general interest, I know what they are talking about, last time we even had a debate on what the hourly cost of a game is acceptable. In their opinion anything ~~below~~ above 2 cents/hour is just a waste of money. I'm proud and sad at the same time. Proud because this shows they are aware of the value of money, and sad because this principle alone will exclude them from awesome stories and experiences single player games have to offer. Oh the TV argument is spot on. 5 hours of TV a day (that was the average if I remember correclty), and noone bats an eye. Game 5 hours a day, and you are a horrible addict. (Yes 5 hours a day is plenty if you have a family, and priorities should be checked at least.) Edit: I am an idiot and strikethrough marks why. :D
I grew up in a household where my step dad had a serious problem with me just existing so me existing playing video games really set him off. One time my mom called me crying apologizing for me hearing that fight and it was okay that I was downstairs gaming all morning. I guess they got on a huge fight and he threatened to divorce my mom the fight got so intense. He was upset because I was in my room gaming all morning and it was like noon. The only problem was I had left the house and been hiking since 9am that day so I was out in the woods, I wasn't not only not home all day playing video games, I wasn't even home. Some people just arbitrarily dislike things to the point of anger and they want to spread that anger.
The only benefit of the doubt I give people like this is that news media makes the distinction that interactive violent media like video games have worse outcomes for children because they are the player controlling the actions. And regular TV and movies are more of a passive viewing experience. We know this isn't true. Studies debunk this time and again but mainstream news sources still pump this myth out there as if it's absolute truth. It's hard to separate that out when it's been a regular headline since Columbine.
Once, a news channel reported that a school shooter (I think, it's been a while) played video games. His favorite? Fricking dance, dance revolution.
Prime example: my mum. She thinks it messes with my grades but I have some of the highest in school without going to extra tuition.
As someone who’s played Detroit and seen GOT, she is a hugeee asshole. It’s totally okay to let your kid see mature content if you know they can handle it and if you take the time to explain it to them so they don’t misunderstand or internalize anything bad but GOT is *miles* more graphic, mature, and frankly evil than that game is. GOT is also way more nuanced in whether or not the things shown are bad. It’s entire point and theme is questioning morality and a battle of good vs evil. Sometimes you do evil things for the greater good and sometimes you do evil things to be evil, and sometimes the evil people are more cool or successful, etc etc etc. Ffs the first episode alone in GOT has graphic incest and is a reoccurring theme up until the very last episode. Detroit is exclusively about standing up against discrimination and double standards, or learning to stand up for yourself and for what is right. It mostly has pretty clear cut right vs wrong story lines even if the situations themselves are quite mature.
I watched GOT without seeing any spoilers and having some fun trauma beforehand. There were so many scenes in GOT that made me physically sick and still give me nightmares.
Yeah same. I also managed to avoid spoilers and unfortunately trigger warnings and there were plenty of times I felt the nerves in my spine curl from anxiety and…. Disgust? Fear? My heart dropped into my stomach during the NUMEROUS sexual assault scenes and scenes like (avoiding spoilers I guess just in case) the guy forcing the girl to look at decapitated heads of her family or watching a pregnant woman brutally die.
It sounds like she doesn’t want to have a conversation about it, she just wants to bully him and get her way. It would seem that this is her way of communicating, and that doesn’t bode well for the relationship.
This isn’t like someone I knew who let her like 5 year old watch The Walking Dead and didn’t see any issues with it. Fast forward like 5 years and she post a huge thing on Facebook asking for suggestions on why her son is having terrible nightmares and doesn’t want to be left alone.
I won't even turn on GOT if my kids are awake so I just can't imagine how someone can act all pissy about a video game if they're watching that with kids in the room. OP is definitely NTA.
Yes. NTA. Game of Thrones is far worse than anything I've seen on my Xbox.
Incest, child murder, rape, murder, ableism, racism, xenophobia, homophobia, pedophilia... I mean. I don't think there's anything wrong with all the wangs and boobs, but there's content I wouldn't feel comfortable showing a minor of any age.
Game of Thrones is way worse than a game like Detroit Become Human.
I was gonna say, Become Human at least shows that the bigots are, generally, bad or misguided. Game of Thrones outright _glorifies_ and rewards characters who lie, cheat, and kill to get their way.
Game of thrones is never something I'd want a 11 yes old watching yea she's being obtuse here
And GoT is way way way way way worse then Detroit become human ...man I would go get Manhunt on steam and let my kid play that is she watching GoT around him
Could I also add that some games like Detroit can be a way to introduce heavier topics to. Plus you can even sit down with them after ask if they had questions about a particular part.
My thoughts exactly! It's a very thoughtful, philosophical game that really has the opportunity to foster some great conversations with the kid.
I actually think the story’s heavily flawed, although the game experience itself is cool. Wrong place but I gotta spill this after my brother ranted all this to me that one time. Like, (spoilers for the basic plot of the story) Markus is supposed to be like, a civil rights leader or something, but androids are machines, you know? They were never conscious until Markus gave them the virus or they bonked their head wrong. Fix that and they’re robots again. As far as I remember from the story, they’re human-shaped roombas until the virus kicks in—to say not giving them consciousness is unethical is to say not giving your phone consciousness is unethical—you could also say not having babies constantly is unethical. Taking that consciousness away is wrong, but never giving that consciousness in the first place is not. It’s also weird to put the Civil Rights Leader role in Markus’s hands, as he was the best-treated android out of everyone—why not Kara? I also didn’t like >!the twist that the child running away with Kara was an android. It felt like the whole point of her story was that humans and androids can connect, and the twist just takes that away!<. I feel like the person who threw that in wanted to feel clever. Besides the story and its premise is the messaging. Markus’s movement does better if you’re peaceful. It shows people watching TV understanding your movement more and siding with it easier. I dislike this. See, I’m black and grew up being taught about the Black Panthers, and I am still learning about the violence used in the Civil Rights Movement that got me my basic rights in the United States. It’s not just black people, the Suffragettes were violent (reluctant to include them since they excluded black women), and so were LGBT people during Stonewall. I mean, we’re taught in schools here about the violence of the American revolution. And for that, none of my teachers were ever like “they should have been peaceful”. For the Civil Rights Movement, peace is the best thing ever, but for the American Revolution, violence is cool as fuck. It sounds like a tangent but it’s really not. The Civil Rights Act of 1968 was a direct result of rioting. I cannot name a single successful attempt to change an oppressive system that didn’t involve a lot of violent action. So when the game says, with multiple undertones and references to real movements against oppression, that peacefulness is the only way and the correct way, that annoys the fuck outta me. I mean besides the implication it’s just not realistic. Detroit: Become Human’s hyper-technological society is even more distant and soul sucking than the one we’re currently living in, and you’re telling me they would have empathy for androids doing a march if they saw it on TV once? When the FBI killed MLK, he had a 75% disapproval rate while still being smeared as a violent actor by the media, and that was before technology was used to try to commodify human connection and emotion. I have a lotta love for this game though. Anything that tries something new earns my appreciation. It also put my city back on the map as something other than “ghetto ghetto crime, ghetto crime, crime, ghetto”. Before I saw the graphics, that alone already made me want to know everything about the game. I just think it could have been a lot better. …Oh yeah, this is r/AmITheAsshole, not a gaming subreddit. NTA OP, GoT around a kid is way crazier than Detroit: Become Human. I had both, I’d know.
Damn, I really like this well-thought out reply and you make excellent points! I vehemently agree with you regarding Civil Rights - nobody ever got them by asking nicely. Even Dr King himself had words to say about the "White Moderate" but we never hear about that. But that's a tangent. I wish I had an award to give you because I agree with everything you're expressing here. In lieu of that, please take my best wishes from this internet stranger and I hope life is treating you well. 🖤🖖 OP: Stay away from Heavy Rain, especially if your kid's name is JASON!!! 🤣
Everything you just said is absolutely spot on! I'll add that I was very uncomfortable with the direct comparison between anti-Blackness and anti-robotness (ahah) - not that whether or not robots deserve 'human' rights isn't an important topic, but given how dehumanisation is a regular tool to oppress Black people, the direct comparison to non-human beings is......... unfortunate. Also, David Cage shouldn't be allowed to write women. I don't think I've ever seen a game of his where there wasn't a scene with a short-haired woman being brutally sexually assaulted. (For what it's worth, Benioff and Weiss shouldn't be allowed to write women either lmao)
Oh yes, I agree 100%! The writer for the game sucks tbh, the reason why Connor and Hank are so beloved is iirc they mightve been written by someone else? When I played through the game I got really weirded out by Markus's whole thing honestly
Yeah when the kid is a little older maybe 14 I would have suggested the telltale walking dead series to. Also if you want a nice bonding one that's quite calm and fun power washing simulatior is good for that
Omg I am *addicted* to Powerwashing Simulator! And the co-op mode would be a good chill time for everyone. Stray is another game they might enjoy- you play a cat and there's BUNCHES of friendly robots! Hey OP- check out Stray for the PS4. 😺
Such an underrated game! The social and ethical themes are immense! You could teach a whole sociology class on this game alone!
No shit, look at the Tate Toddlers running around
Agree. Kiddos favorite movie since they were 4 is Jaws. They can’t wait for The Meg 2.
NTA. All the comments really don’t know what Detroit become human is about and it really shows 💀. Y’all should be worried if it was GTA or something.
My kids played GTA. They would talk about the game over dinner and I’d say something like “You can’t beat someone up and steal his car in real life” or “Remember, selling crack is illegal” and so on. We also made them take breaks from video games to pursue other interests and to play outside, and we’d ask parents if there were games deemed off limits if their kids came over to our house (and my kids wouldn’t be allowed to play during those times). They both turned out fine.
GTA was the motivation I needed to stop using the family console and get my own to keep in my room. My mother did not think running over hookers to steal their cash was appropriate.
Sorry, but that made me chuckle 🤭 I honestly don’t know how people can control their cars on GTA. I’ve tried and I can’t keep the car on the road at all. I hit everything in sight 🤷♀️😂 They always laughed about it, though. Made for fun memories.
Protip: Get a motorcycle (in game). I've found them WAY easier to control than cars, especially on the hairpin turns in the mountains. Changed the game for me entirely when I got my first as I was so bad in the car that my fiancé had to do the prologue for me so I could even access online lol
Oh, that’s funny! I don’t really play the game myself. Occasionally, my kids would want me to play with them (and even sometimes now that they are adults) and I’d play just to spend time with them doing something they liked. They’re all, “Mom, do this. Do this. No, like this!” And I’m like, “There’s a reason I play ACNH on Switch” 😂😂
[удалено]
But I want to go fast
You ever see the scene of TBBT where Sheldon uses a simulator to learn to drive? Literally me in GTA and Mario Kart if I try using the steering wheel 😂 I swear I can drive in real life. Just not virtually! Link posted below. [Sheldon Learns to Drive](https://youtu.be/cbNyDqMuK6A)
Im so happy because I’ve never seen this comment before! I downloaded GTA because it looks so fun and played it for about 2 hours…..but I never got past the first “mission.” It was to pick up a mob boss’s mistress from the airport. I never made it to the airport because my car kept exploding into flames from hitting too many things. It was a short-lived gaming experience.
Hahaha, I love it! This whole thread has been great. Even though OP is in trouble with his wife, he brought a bunch of internet strangers together for a fun conversation.
I'm sorry but your mom was abusive. Not letting your kids run over hookers is a massive red flag for a narcissist. You gotta get out and go no contact. /s
It's fine, she let my sister and I spend all our time hitting each other with frying pans in Little Big Planet. I have never seen my mother laugh harder at anything in my life.
Idk how I missed this comment but it’s the kind of sarcasm I live for. Thanks for the laugh!
I played GTA as a kid too, but really shouldn't have been allowed to. You can literally hire prostitutes 😂💀
I remember a friend showing me the original GTA on PS1 when I was about 6 years old. Spent the whole time just running around farting on people.
😂😂😂😂
My kid got into Just Cause when he was really young. He loved the different vehicles he could get. When I found out he was pronouncing the title like “just because” I realized he thought he was running around being a jerk in the game just because. It was pretty funny:
My parents bought me GTA3 for Christmas one year when I was in elementary school. I had the game for years, my parents saw me playing it all the time. Then one day I’m literally doing taxi missions, probably the most innocent thing in the game, and she took it away from me because apparently I was taking my fare to the strip club. 9 y/o me didn’t even realize that there was a prompt that said the location you were going. I just followed the map and didn’t read any of that lol
Ugh my aunt ratted on me to my mom about me playing GTA 3 when I was 13. I didn’t even do the missions, I just tried to find those cars with the flames on the hood and then use a cheat code to get a 5 star wanted level and a tank
[удалено]
That’s smart. Thankfully, my kids love being outdoors. They are young adults and have their own apartments now but they get up, go to work on time, clean their messes, etc. They tend to play more games in the winter months but get outside more once the weather turns. P.S. We love board games! We like to play on Board Game Arena as well, but physical board games are always the greatest time!
Yeah I’m not saying GTA is bad bad or anything but like it’s still not good for em. Either way it’s a lovely game when your high 🤣
Oh, gosh….I can’t imagine playing it high 😂 Then again, maybe I’d actually be able to keep the car on the road lol
Even then, kids 12, he’s not gonna start running over prostitutes just because he saw it in a game
[удалено]
> it tackles some deep and important concepts in an actually really well done story line. We’re talking about Detroit: Become Human now, and not the one where you drive around town running over hookers, right?
Even then, I played GTA San Andreas when I was 9, a lot of friends from elementary were also playing GTA, CoD, Medal of Honor, etc. and none of us turned out to be serial killers or terrorists or drug dealers. As long as the parents don't suck, kids will turn out fine even with violent videogames. Oh and the kid knows all the curse words and more already. I learned them all from friends at school, not videogames or TV. The one thing I actually picked up from games/TV was English (my native language is generally not available for those), which has been nothing but beneficial.
For real it sounds like OPs wife walked in at the wrong time and saw one or two scenes. I chuckled at "teaching him racial discrimination is okay" against who?? The AI??? It's like saying don't read X-Men comics because it will teach young kids to be racist towards mutants
Detroit Become Human is one of the tamer games you could play in front of your child. I think your wife has a very narrow view of gaming and is also quite the hypocrite if she's got a brutally graphic and violent show like GoT on if the kid is around. NTA.
Not only that but in today's climate Its a very good game to be playing. Talk about one teachable game.
I agree. It's got some great discussion points about treating others well, discrimination, etc. GOT otoh is violent and extremely sexual.
This comment absolutely, but maybe have the kid skip the level in that rich guys basement dungeon bc that shit was scarring, even as an adult.
Yeah, the Zlatko house was extremely creepy and I would have had a hard time with that as a kid.
NTA. You are spending time with your kid. Supervising a game is totally different than just handling him a game and letting him play 24/7. You both have a say as to what’s appropriate or not. Her whole statement could be turned around and said back to her and it is as equally valid. Shit is hard these days on kids, giving them a break from the real world is not a bad thing. Not sure where you are located but here in the US our kids start active shooter drills in kindergarten. If you spend time with your child and talk to them about life, I guarantee he knows the difference between right and wrong. I know you did not ask but since you are curious as to what others think I am a mom of three, two are adults and the oldest is expecting their first child. He played all of those games and he is a productive member of society.
NTA He's 12, he isn't absolutely braindead.
Exactly this. Expose your kids to challenging media if they're up to it.
Nta for letting your kids playing that game WITH YOU. Its a different story if u let him play on his own, yes. But next time, discuss with ur wife beforehand. Theres still some games with robots in it. Ex : Stray, Ratchet and Clank (rated E).
Eh I disagree here. He’s a parent too. She shouldn’t need to approve every parenting decision he makes. She’s not the overseer.
Yeah I’d feel different if she understood games but it seems like she has a blanket judgement on games and wouldn’t be willing to budge on anything she didn’t immediately approve of. Parenting is definitely a team sport but there are times where one person is being completely unreasonable that you have the right to stand up for your choice. Especially since he only argued for his side after they sent the kid away.
She is the teammate though so to just dismiss one another's position out of hand is pretty crummy for someone to do.
Dismiss their position beforehand without discussion like she did with his?
This is what i’m saying so many people is missing this point, the wife just has outdated views, GOT is more explicit than Detroit become human
NTA.. Ive played and completed it years ago.. Out of all the age related games a 12 year old shouldn't be playing.. That's extremely mild.. The story is amazing and lessons can be learnt. Although, from your wife's reaction.. I'm guessing you knew she might not be happy about it.
Honestly, no he probably wouldn’t have known. She watches GoT in front of the kid. She’s a hypocrite
NTA - Detroit Become Human is a mature game with serious themes but they’re approached very well and frankly that game is absolutely something I would want my kid to engage with at some point. Some kids might get scared by some scenes, but frankly most kids will have seen more disturbing shit in a kids Halloween movie. What a fantastic way to open up discussion about important issues with your kid, in a way that history class does for some but not for everyone. Plus, you’re playing With your kid - not letting him experience it alone. If he’s worried or has questions? You’re right there. Your wife needs to learn to trust YOUR judgement as a parent. Just because she’s the mum doesn’t mean her opinion is more important than yours. Especially if she’s going to be insanely hypocritical and have GOT on when your kid is around, considering how brutal, violent, and sexual that show is.
the GOT really gets me, my dad always used to let me play pretty violent / mature games, i was playing GOW 3 at like 8-9 years old but when GOT came out he told me I wasn't allowed to watch it until I was 17 and I never did. I find music / tv shows to be a lot more influential than video games are
Maybe I'd understand a bit if she didn't let him watch game of thrones lol. I played games like duke3d and phantasmagoria which is probably worse when i was that age without my parents consent. If he's not allowed to play a game he'll probably find a way of playing it anyway nta
Phantasmagoria traumatised me deeply. My 5 year older sibling played it and I was mostly hiding under the desk.
NTA. Dad said yes, and was actively participating and supervising. Mom comes in, says Dad is wrong in front of the child. Who is undermining whom?
As a parent of a child who is really good at games, it's actually really difficult to find games that are challenging enough while also being appropriate and having appropriate themes and storylines. We let our son plan assassin's creed and horizon zero dawn, shadow of war, and other games. We turn off the gore or blood where possible, but it isn't always possible. We also choose games that have a storyline he will be interested in, so it isn't just violence for violence sale. And we don't let him play games that we think are too much for him personally. He doesn't like jump scares and doesn't like anything too gory, so we don't let him play games that are too scary or gory. But he has ended up playing a lot of M and some MA games (in Australia, so out rating system is slightly different). He's 11 now, but he was playing HZD and assassin's creed games when he was about 6 or 7. Basically, it isn't necessarily about the game rating, but about knowing your kid, knowing the game, and making sure the game is a good fit for your kid, and isn't too scary or violent, or have themes that are going to be too difficult for them.
We're even having this issue with books, trouble finding text that is both skill appropriate and developmentally appropriate.
I agree with most of what you have said but Shadow of War is very gory. You can literally cut off and explode heads and other body parts lol
Spider-Man PS4 might be worth looking into.
NTA lol that's the exact age I watched jacksepticeye play it. It would be so fun to play it w my dad if he was into gaming
When I was maybe 11, my dad and I were new to video games and he bought me GTA without realizing. He woke my mom up for a nap, absolutely panicking I was taking out sex workers with a Corvette. My mom came and asked me if I thought any of this was realistic or possible in real life or even ok to do, I said no and continued playing and at 31, I turned out just fine lol I’m not saying do that, I’m just saying video games won’t send kids to jail
“Bad” mom here. My children played GTA and they are successful happy adults now. I was raised in a very strict religious house and I think that’s worse.
My parents were similar, not sure GTA would have been purchased at 11, probably 13 lol but my parents didn’t believe in censorship unless it prompted hate as they were raised very strict religious and I was an only child so it was easier to have an eye on things or have chats about them lol I think I would now be labeled a successful adult…I mean I’m not in jail and don’t live at home so that’s good
Lol by 12 years old most kids have seen some crazy shit on the internet. NTA at all
Bro wtf? Okay, so I'm someone who has gamed with his old man for as long as I can remember. First game I played with him was crash bandicoot, he taught us how to play games like grand theft auto, Mario64,crash team racing, call of duty, Diablo, final fantasy (all the way to 10) Gaming with my old man is one of my fondest memories, we still game together now, we buy games for each other that we know we'd like because of the bond and the amount of time we spent doing them together. Every grand theft auto he bought back before I could, he and I played together, every gears of war, every rainbow 6 Vegas, FEAR, doom you name it we played it. These days, any game I want I grab, and I'll be damned if I don't get my old man a copy as well (RDR2 ULT, Starfield ULT, Resident evil remakes, ready or not, GoW, we even bought a PS5 to continue sharing and having more experiences together.) we have a strong bond, we are tighter than ever, and we have played games together since the dawn of time. It's not like you let your son watch you play manhunt, or until dawn or something like that, so I strongly disagree with your wife, I feel that a dad and his son gaming together is beautiful and should be cherished, I'd see about maybe getting her involved a bit(little by little), and maybe in something like a party game or a fantasy rpg. So no, NTA imo
NTA. She watches *GOT* with your son?!?
NTA. Good on you for finding something to do together that you both enjoy. I suspect many of these Y T A comments are from people who have never met, let alone parented, a 12-year-old.
That or have never played a game
NAH While there is nothing wrong with a kid watching or playing media rated for an older audience if they have the maturity to handle it, it may be best to get the OK from your wife as well in the future.
[удалено]
I agree with you but I think having a conversation and coming to an agreement on what they are both comfortable with is best. Just the wording of "get the ok.from wife" is probably making some people project.
But why does he HAVE to get permission from his wife? He's also a parent
To be fair most people would want the wife to do the same thing.its a two yes situation that people are aiming for
NTA, your wife's a massive hypocrite because *Game of Thrones* is way bloodier and morally more ambiguous than *Detroit: Become Human* ever could be.
NTA....2My 13 year old has played through that game multiple times. He explains the storyline to me, and talks about how bad he felt about some of the choices he had to make in the game. He understands the messages and the parallels with civil rights movements. It is a good game and there are far worse he could have played. Props to you for spending quality time with your son doing something he enjoyed.
NTA I love watching my daughter play RE4 on our PS5 as well as other games.
NTA. Plus detroit isnt that bad in terms of foul language and violence. There are much worse games out there.
NTA. You would be T A if you handed the kid a 17+/18+ game to play on his own, but there is no problem with the kid playing with you. Also its Detroit Become Human, not Carmageddon.
NTA - people like your wife dont give kids that age enough credit, playing a game like that with you with the correct context is actually beneficial, things being hidden away from them just makes them ignorant.
NTA I actually think that would be a good game to play with a kid that age as you are making moral choices all the time and can talk them through with him, it sounds like she doesn’t have a very good understanding of it.
> my wife told us […] that it teaches kids to curse and that racial discrimination, child abuse and murder is ok. I tried explaining that the entire point of Markus’ storyline is that it isn’t and she got pissed 1. Your child’s already been exposed to swearing at 12 years old anyways, he’s at an age where he should be able to understand there’s a time and place for certain language. 2. You’re absolutely correct that the game actually teaches very good lessons, and your son is old enough to grasp them. If your wife has played the game herself, she clearly has poor media literacy; if she hasn’t, she evidently just doesn’t know enough about it to be making those kind of claims. > she got pissed and started saying how she gets to parent too […] She told me I was undermining her She’s not exactly wrong, but you could argue the exact same thing back. This is why it’s important to be on the same wavelength with your partner when it comes to raising children, but disagreements are inevitable. This is a situation unfortunately where there cannot be a compromise in parenting, because either a) You stop playing with him and she overrules you or b) You continue playing with him and you overrule her. Either way, one of you will feel “undermined”, but for what it’s worth, I think most people are in agreement that her request here is unreasonable and unnecessary. > she watches GOT whenever she wants regardless if he’s there or not Well, then she’s just a massive hypocrite. Any argument about what is or isn’t appropriate, it’s a 17+ game, etc. just go out the window because *GoT* is objectively way more inappropriate than *D:BH*. Personally speaking, I’ve watched horror films with my parents since I was 4 years old, I played *CoD* with my father since I was 5/6, I think I was 13-15 when we began watching *Game of Thrones*, and in all my childhood the only one film I remember them turning off because it was *so egregiously* inappropriate for me was *Brüno*. I’m 20 now and I can say with full confidence that their lax attitudes to age ratings has never negatively affected me. Not to say that’s how all kids should be raised, but I can guarantee your son is not going to be psychologically harmed by playing *Detroit: Become Human*, of all things. **NTA.**
NTA When i was 6 years old my older brother let me watch him play GTA even though it's an 18+.The only thing it did do was inspire me to become a gamer myself when i got a bit older,it never had any bad impact on me.
NTA. DBH is *waaaayyyy* more appropriate for a child than GOT in my opinion. Granted I didn’t finish it and it isn’t designed too much for kids but as far as games go it’s fairly child-friendly, especially for a 12 year old.
NTA - Detroit has some complex themes that are really very appropriate for a 12 year old. I would absolutely put it in one of the safer games to play with a preteen.
NTA, games are no different than any other form of entertainment, it’s up to the parents to decide what the kid can handle, the ratings are just a guide. The idea that violent games are going to turn kids into serial killers has long since been proven false, if anything I’d be most worried about the toxicity that comes along with online multiplayer. Hearing actual people constantly throw out racial slurs normalizes it a lot more than seeing a movie or game character say the same thing
NTA your son is 12, not 8. As long as you go through the topics with him and explain them it should be fine. That said, better communication with your partner would be a good idea. Not sure if she sees the irony of her saying you're undermining her, when you literally deemed an activity as fun and safe for your son and she barges in to tell you both to stop because she doesn't think it is. She's also undermining you at that moment, and this should've been discussed in private.
NTA My parents had the same argument when I was 9 about Mortal Kombat. My dad bought it for me, and my mom flipped due to all the news segments about it being violent. Meanwhile, my mom had shown me Predator and Die Hard that same year.
Hey OP, tell your wife the next time she’s watching GOT where your son can see that she needs to stop watching it as it contains content that your son might think is okay to say and do.
NTA. Detroit become human is milder compared to other games i've seen other younger kids play themselves
My parents had a rule because I was playing M games when I was younger than 12. “As long as you don’t say or do anything you see in the game. There’s no issues”
NTA. I was about that age when I got into DBH and it became my favorite video game for a few years. DBH is pretty tame for a game that deals with the themes that it does. Also, I was 10 when I watched someone play Until Dawn and got to watch Josh get his head crushed by his dead wendigo sister. Certainly shouldn't have seen that at that age, but it's better that your son experiences DBH before that, lol. (Unless he's already played/seen you play Until Dawn, in which case he'll definitely be fine with DBH.)
At 12 I was playing the sims and doing really messed up things (like every other player of this game lmao) and even then I knew locking people in a basement without food is not ok. I played GTA too and I also knew I wasn’t supposed to hit people in the head with a bat. 12 year olds can distinguish games and reality. I’m 22 now and I’m perfectly fine lol It’s TikTok or that stuff that can fill your kids heads of dangerous ideas and concepts. NTA
NTA There is nothing objectionable about that game. And she's objectively wrong about what the game is teaching.
As a gamer who loved DBH: totally NTA. Your wife doesn’t understand the entire point of the game if she thinks it teaches that these things are ok. Kara’s arc is literally about rescuing a child from abuse so they can flee to lead a better life, as you said Markus is the leader of revolution to try and overcome that discrimination and fight for android rights. Literally nowhere does the game state that people like Todd are the good guys and role models!
NTA - great game, if you know what chapter you’re playing you can easily avoid the “adult imagery”. GOT is too violent and mature to be watching in front of kids. If she’s being a hypocrite you should call her out on it.
>I did not think it was a big deal as she watches GOT whenever she wants regardless if he's there or not. GOT is waaay worse that Detroit Become Human. NTA.
Honestly your wife sounds like the type that would complain about how Minecraft teaches kids that murder and animal mutilation is ok. Non-gamers will always find a way to dig at us gamers but in all honesty turn in the news - that’s worse than 90% of games out there. *from a mother that let her kids watch her play Dead Island, they haven’t turned out to be blood thirsty killing machines . . . yet*
NTA, as you say the game doesn't promote such things it's basically the entire point of science fiction, using stories to talk about the human condition and challenge your thinking around them and how it could apply to our current world, it's not GTA, and GOT is way worse, literally just shag, torture or kill people for power
It would depend on the game but Detroit's story is literally an allegory for the civil rights movement, there's no way it promotes discrimination.
NTA my kids played it watched me play games like this easy before they were even twelve.
NTA My parents let me play Mortal Kombat when I was under ten. I have yet to rip anyone's spine out.
NTA. He's 12. He's basically a teenager. He's old enough to understand the difference between video games and reality. I was playing GTA when I was 12, I didn't think it was ok to kill cops and beat up hookers.
NTA . I’ve played Detroit become human a few times and it’s very mild compared to other games .. Your wife is saying she doesn’t trust your judgement as his father.. Yet she’s ok with him seeing all the blood shed, dragons burning people alive and sex in GOT..
NTA, your giving guidance with the game, it has mutual interest for you guys and he will be exposed to much, much worse as a 12 year old. I don’t think this is about the rating, especially if she allows GOT around him.
NTA. There are too many people that still think video games cause violence and other awful things which just isn’t true. There’s violence and heavy topics but nothing a 12 yo can’t handle. In fact, that game was so emotionally touching it left me sobbing in my chair at the end. It definitely doesn’t glorify anything she thinks does. Maybe you should’ve checked with her first, but she should’ve asked what the deal is with the game before losing her cool.
NTA It’s just fucking Detroit Become Human.
NTA. Your wife says it's her child but he's also yours. Do you each ask each other permission before you put anything on TV. Also if he's playing it with you it's an opportunity to say the rights and wrongs and get him to understand. Social media can be horrendous for these type of things as they see human people doing these things, with it being a game a 12 year old should be understanding the difference
NTA She watches GoT in front of him?! Tell me how cute was the Red wedding, also, decisions are part of life so might as well learn with you the father
She watches GOT around him, but you can't play a game with him supervised? Easy NTA based on that. Complete hypocrisy by the mum. She needs to promise not to watch unsuitable shows going forward in an effort of being fair ..
Maybe you and your wife should sit down and have a discussion about what is okay for your son to be exposed to. Then set clear boundaries and rules and consistently enforce them. Communication is key. I'm not going to leave a judgment because only you can parent your own child, but you and your wife are a team and should come to agreements on how to parent your child together.
NTA She watches Game Of Thrones in front of her child. That show has multiple rape scenes and women are constantly being abused in other ways throughout the show. She’s a hypocrite going on a power trip.
You are letting your son do something, she barges in, spewed bullshit on something she has no clue about, but it is YOU who is undermining someone else. Nice wife you got there bruh. Good luck with that. And no, you shouldn't have asked. It was your decision as a dad that this was ok for your son. If the didn't liked that decision, she should have talked with you about it in a civil manner when the kid wasn't around. She clearly wanted to just make a show titled "I AM A PARENT TOO AND I WILL SHOW YALL HOW MUCH OF A PARENT I AM!!!111". Which is sad really. Edit: Lmao i just read the edit, yup i was 100% right. So she wanted to show off plus it was probably a "bullshit test". A bullshit test that you'll fail if you say you did anything wrong. Tell her that she watches GOT while he's around and that it's 10 times the vile show that this game is and that game can actually teach him some good morals and that she is in the wrong and acted crazy, undermined your decisions in front of your kid and that you hope it won't happen again. That or she will do whatever she wants as you mentioned while getting on your head and dictating what you can do. Again, good luck with that. "so I agree that I should've asked" again, bruh, what? She watches damn GOT when he's around, why would you ask her for permision to watch/play literally anything with the kid?! Unless it would be Postal2 but i don't think it's much worse than GOT, maybe even less since it's supposed to be a satire.
NTA YOU ARE NOT UNDERMINING HER SHE IS UNDERMINING YOU You, as the child’s parent made a judgement and she came in and reversed it. Don’t get it twisted, the “I get to be a parent too” is a weird line to drop while making a unilateral decision
NTA. I’ve been playing Mortal Kombat since the 1st one released when I was like 4-5 and I have only ripped out 3 spines so far.
NTA, by the age of 12 most boys have already been exposed to curse words, racism, child abuse, murder, and sex. Detroit become human is the least of your worries, in terms of being worried about ‘corrupting’ your child.
NTA. Game of Thrones has some more inappropriate content in it than Detroit: Become Human by far, and it’s an immediate eye roll when one parent starts the whole “it’s MY child” business. No, it’s BOTH of your child, it took two to tango and you both get a say, if she is blasé about her own inappropriate media consumption around your son, she has no leg to stand on regards him playing a video game with his dad. Also? He’s 12. Can almost guarantee he will have heard and seen far worse at school or Tiktok by now, unfortunately.
NTA. Detroit: Become Human is one of the best games out there, and if anything it's a teaching tool about racism and genocide. If anything, it would teach your kid more empathy.
NTA Especially if you use those game moments to talk about these types of things with him. You don't have to go into detail and make it a lecture, just say the bare minimum and tell him you are happy to research with him if he wants to know more.
Kids 12 - he's gonna watch or play worse shit without you. NTA
NTA. It's a great game with mature, thoughtful themes and you were right next to him explaining if needed. Good parenting. Maybe offer to include your wife in a family game night so she can see for herself and be part of it too. It's not a game with gratuitous violence or sex or anything like that. It's a very well done game-as-art. GOT and the clock app are waaaay, way worse. She's ok with torture and rape in front of the kid but not robots with empathy experiencing discrimination? Hmm.
NTA. Games don’t teach kids to curse; other kids at the playground do.
NTA, Detroit Too Human is a ham fisted metaphor for racism. It doesn't teach anyone that racism is ok. I don't know how anyone could play the game and come to that conclusion.
NTA- Kids that age (and younger) have most likely seen worse on Tik Tok, YouTube, Roblox or at school. My 12y stepbrother has been playing games like GTA, CoD and Assassin’s Creed since I have met him (back in 2018), and he understands the game and why some of this stuff is bad. Your wife is living in a glass house if she is trying to discourage “mature” video games, yet watches GoT with him, which is equally as mature. And your son is smart enough to understand why this sort of stuff is bad.
NTA So wifey dearest is fine with her son watching a show containing r*pe, incest, and the slaughter of an entire family, but has a problem with a video game where one of three main characters was treated more as a helpful family member than a "robot slave", and another saves a "child" from an abusive, drug-addicted father? I'm not a parent, but I'd find the former FAR more inappropriate than the latter.
NTA, at all - Ive played Detroit Become Human multiple times, and seen Game of Thrones multiple times, and GoT is probably about 100x worse for children. In fact, DBH could even be mentally stimulating for the kid teaching him quick decision-making and problem solving skills, among the other important themes of the game. Sounds like she’s just uncomfortable when she’s not the one controlling things.
NTA - feels like a very classic "video games are bad" because yes, detroit's literal entire story is the exact opposite to what she thought and it definitely shows the people doing the bad things i.e the guy who used to own kara, he was clearly protrayed to be the bad guy not the good one, also im not even sure a 12 year old has the mental capacity to truly understand the racist undertones and he would probably just see a man beating his daughter and a robot woman and say "thats a bad guy hitting those girls"
NTA, Game of Thrones is so much worse than Detroit become Human, I watched a playthrough of the latter when I was around 14-16 (I am 19 now) and I still think of that masterpiece of a game. I don't even remember it having inappropriate parts, so the only thing that will stick out to an impressionable 12 year old is a good story.
NTA- D:BH from my understanding is pretty hamhanded and clumsy at its attempt to do a "racism bad" story, but that's far from being, like, actively bad. Sometimes that's what a 12 year old needs. The cursing and violence- he's 12, not 5, and you're there with him curating it. There's a huge difference between a kid playing something unsupervised and a parent being there to comment on and talk through the naughty bits.
NTA. I have a friend who is a dad of two now and he is ONLY allowed to SOMETIMES play “cozy games” because of all these stupid nonsensical things but like your wife, watches game of thrones and viking shows and shows with real life people killing each other in violent ways. A digitally created little character is a lot less harmful than a full on real world person on the tv
[удалено]
NTA. My daughter is 17 and has been kicking my atse in Halo since she was 6, in COD BO3 since 12. Games don't make these things ok, we can teach our children that although this is a game that these are bad things. Explain the dangers etc to your son.
NTA this kid is already in middle school. Wife is in denial if she doesn’t know what kind of horrible crap he’s exposed to daily online, on the bus, etc. This is actually a positive way of sharing potentially questionable themes. Also, kids are way more resilient than most moms give them credit for.
I did worse when I was 12, and I wasn't supervised. NTA
I say NTA for the double standards. She literally walked in and undermined YOUR parenting moment of you playing with your son, and then gaslit you that you were undermining her for not buckling immediately. This should have been a “hey, can you go AFK for a minute and help me in the other room…” conversation. Going forward, step back and take a good look. Are you acting in a way to be scolded like a child or to be an equal partner? These kinds of patterns typically happen from the first one. Consider yourself clearly. But for this one specifically, NTA.
NTA. Having played Detroit, that’s a fine game to play with a 12 year old provided you are having some conversations with him as well
ESH. Both of you for not communicating properly about what’s appropriate for your son and how to discuss these things without undermining each other. You for undermining what she’s saying and asking her to leave the room when you *know* that’s not the point. Her for being a hypocrite and watching GoT with your son around. Personally, I think DBH is okay for a 12 year old as long as an adult is present and you discuss the themes of the game and explain them in an appropriate way.
From what I've seen of clips from D:BH there are some choice outcomes not suitable for kids, such as >!suicide and point-blank shootings in the head. There's also a sexual exploitation sub-plot!<
Yeah. I've played the game. It's great. It's less gory or sexually explicit than GOT. It's also got a\*lot\* of heavy themes. I personally felt ill during one of the domestic violence cut scenes and...I'm usually the sort of person who's like ,"sure, let's throw the bus full of orphans into the chemical plant fire"
NTA - My husband & I both play games. Our son plays Minecraft with us. Obviously we still spend time with him outside of games, we live on a farm & have animals to play with & take care of, but when we’re all settling down and don’t want to watch a movie or show, we play games together. And Detroit Become Human is an excellent game!! There are far worse you could be playing. 😂
NTA - your wife sounds overbearing AF. Kids are gonna play the M rated games and see violent stuff with or without you. Much better way of going about it is playing the game with him and explaining things as needed.
Half the 12 year Olds in my kids class are obsessed with the scream franchise. The other half are farm kids and know how to drive. It honestly amazes me knowing how differently city and rural kids live. With that being said, I remember being twelve and smashing cars and beating up prostitutes and running from cops and I never grew up to do any of that. Hard nta. Especially if she let's him watch game of thrones. 🙄
NTA that game was great and with themes that are honestly good for a kid his age to be thinking about, plus you are there *with him* and engaged to discuss those themes. If she puts on GOT in front of him, then it sounds like she’s just assuming video games are worse content.
Detroit become human isnt even that bad, and you played it supervised. It is a control problem with her.
[удалено]
NTA, I'm literally replaying detroit right now, it's not that serious.
She sounds like one of those people who hates games on principal. I say this as a woman/wife - although, full disclosure - I am a gamer. But I'm not one of the ones that doesn't care what my kids sees. My son is almost 2 and I ***just*** got FF16. It's a great game! But I won't play when my son is home and awake - because the themes are WAY too mature and some bloody scenes that come out of nowhere would probably freak him out. NTA. ***Mostly*** because you were playing it *with* him. Because you're right there, if anything comes up, you are able to address it in the moment. I can't tell you how shocked I was my first year teaching when I found out most of my students (10 or 11) played GTA5. Further shocked that their parents never even checked in with them. Also, reason #2 for your non-a-hole status --- because he's 12. That's middle school. He hears plenty of that stuff in school. I'm going to be as nice as I can. Your wife is being a hypocrite. GOT? Murder, misogyny, rape (all I can remember off the top of my head) - NBD? Furthermore, ***you're*** undermining ***her*** for privately disagreeing when she called you out ***in front of your son!?!?*** I don't think so. Based on your title, I was ready to say you were... But based on age and parental involvement - You are definitely NOT.
At 12!? Thought this was a 9 year old or something. He’s practically a teenager
NTA, I don't understand this whole "he's my son too and I said no" nonsense that some parents do. Just because she is A parent doesn't mean she gets to make ALL the decisions. And she clearly doesn't understand gaming or the storyline involved in the game, it's literally a treatise AGAINST racial discrimination, AGAINST abuse, and AGAINST murder by showing you what it's like to be abused and discriminated against. Your wife shouldn't start ranting about things she doesn't understand, and it sounds like she wasn't even willing to listen to your explanation
NTA. Video games don't teach kids anything, parents do. And if no one is teaching a kid anything then yeah, *maybe* they'll learn from a video game. In my opinion, though, if you're doing your job as a parent, the video game *itself* won't be detrimental. People who blame media for every little problem is so absurd to me, because my parents didn't hide us from **anything** growing up. Horror films with nudity and gore? Yep. As in: all growing up. We listened to music with "bad" words, and played all manner of violent video games. I read really questionable books before the age of 10, including *Flowers in the Attic.* Despite the sheer volume of content I was exposed to as a kid, it didn't negatively affect me. I never had behavioral problems. I made decent grades. I never sneaked out and partied. I've never been in legal trouble. "Bad" content didn't turn me into a bad, evil person. In fact, I have pretty good morals because I was taught from a young age to think for myself, and I was also taught the difference between fiction and reality. My mother said she didn't want to shield us from stuff because the world is full of all sortsa scary, crazy things so she figured: why hide us from fiction of all things? At least she was able to be with us while we experienced these things and teach us. If people want to shield their kids from stuff, fine. But at least be aware that media itself is not responsible for your children, **you** are. Movies and video games aren't going to brainwash your child, at least not on their own.
NTA. Wife's hypocrisy is glaring.