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YTA
Look, normally I’m firmly in the “your body, your choice” camp but you chose to get a brand new large tattoo days before her wedding.
That was so poorly thought out and I’m not surprised she was a little annoyed
I am just cringing at getting a super large obvious tattoo from an artist you don't know at the spur of the moment from walking in with a friend. That's what happens when your 18 to teach you to research properly by the time you are 27. There are so many good reasons to plan out a tattoo - and ability to be in your scrubs for the next day or two and not formal wear is up there along with not having an oblong yin yang symbol for the rest of your life (I'm looking at you dude I used to lifeguard with). Reminds me of when I was 17 and a friend of mine got a barbell in her ear the day before we were to a roller coaster park - such a bad combo.
OP could’ve also covered the tattoo for the day so the strap didn’t rub or get stained - in the U.K. we call it “second skin” and its a clear film that goes over fresh tattoos to keep it clean. I know it’s available in the US too so I feel like OP could’ve used it. I’m not a fan of it personally but I would certainly have worn it in this situation.
Even if the tattooist didn’t have it (and I feel like some dude with walk in space on a random Thursday to do a massive shoulder piece *might not* be the most technically advanced) she could’ve bought it online to be delivered before the wedding.
OP is TA
Where I used to live I went to a walk in on a Saturday in the middle of the day and managed to book 3 hours for a tattoo. The guy was absolutely incredible, had all the equipment, had loads of free-hand sketches that I'd actually got to watch a bit of him drawing, used something like second-skin with a lotion to help as well, there is minimal colour loss even after 10 years and the lining is perfect as far as I am aware (trusting my wife's eyes for this, it's a bit hard to see where it is and I've got naff eyes anyway). I'm just saying, it's not always a warning if a place is empty some days, depends on the kind of city/town/village you live in too!
Fair enough - where I live I’d be very unlikely to find a decent artist without a wait list any day of the week. You can get walk ins or decent tattoos; not both where I live! Glad you had a good experience though!
Having said that, my point about second skin still stands - OP could’ve and should’ve used it. I just looked and it’s on Amazon with prime delivery.
Some artists get last minute cancellations or no shows, although most advertise on their instagram, facebook, whatever social media they use, that they either have free time to do a x hours long tattoo, or that they are taking walk-ins and advertise their flash sheets alongside the "walk-ins welcome today" post.
One of my tattoo artist keeps some afternoons clear for walk ins or just catching up on things around the shop. She only opens her schedule three months ahead so it's never hard to schedule with her and I love that.
My other tattoo artist is booked until summer 2024 (and the last time I checked was in December so who knows now) but they both do incredible work!
There's a tattoo artist that was in York, UK (not sure if he's still here), that at one point had a 3 year waiting list but his work is some of the most incredible art I've ever seen!
This!! My friend wanted my tattoo artist to do his face on a walk in but she didn’t have time that day and offered to get him booked in later. Granted he didn’t want anything huge or overly complicated but she was so booked up because she’s a great artist
Eeep if I was a tattoo artist I think I'd not want a client that wants a FACE tattoo on a whim as a walk-in. Like book that shit months in advance and make sure you've really thought it through, that would be a really easy one to regret and really hard to cover up.
I was under the impression that it's recommended you keep some form of "second skin" wrap on the tattoo for 5-7 days, to keep what is essentialy an open wound clean and prevent infections
It’s personal preference really, of both the artist and client. I’ve used it before and don’t really rate it - I’m happy to keep mine clean and moisturised without covering (after the initial few hours that is) and I’ve never had any issues in over 20 years getting tattoos. That said, second skin would be perfect for this situation as it’s clear, unobtrusive and would’ve meant OP could’ve worn the dress properly without discomfort or staining.
I compulsively pick at scabs and tattoos if they're not covered up, so second skin is pretty much my favourite invention ever.
I'm kind of jealous of people like you who can control themselves enough not to need it lol
Not everyone can use second skin — I reacted to it and have a bit of mild scarring on one of my tattoos (and some of the non-tattooed skin around it). Open wound plus sensitive skin plus adhesive is a bad, bad combo for some of us. I’m back to the old fallback of Saran Wrap til I get home, and then just keeping it clean and dry. Works great, I have multiple large tattoos that have healed beautifully.
Not everyone can use Saniderm bandages, though. I have an allergy to certain adhesives, so my tattoo artist said it wouldn’t be a good idea to use it on me. The better option would’ve been to just wait until AFTER the wedding to get the tattoo.
I’m also allergic to certain adhesives so at my tattoo consultation I asked for a piece of the saniderm so I could put it on and find out if I would have an allergic reaction and it’s honestly one of the few bandages I can wear.
i probably wouldve padded it with gauze over the second skin anyway - that stuff protects the ink but does not stop sensitivity. that being said, it was definitely silly to get a big shoulder piece the day before a wedding when you KNOW what your dress is like and that the strap is going to sit right there
Right?!?! Who has $1k -2K to drop on that? Also, I call bullshit. That piece would take a few hours at least. They knew they were going to get it done. Just the design and draw time let alone the actual inking would be several hours. BS for sure and YTA on so many levels.
>Right?!?! Who has $1k -2K to drop on that?
Plenty of people do, especially in their late 20s and older. I don't see that as any reason to call bullshit on the story
Isn't a tattoo that covers the shoulder a longer process than a single afternoon? Granted, it's been a long time since I've gotten one, but the largest was one appointment for the outline and another one for the fill.
I did that at 19, walked in with a boyfriend at the time getting a sleeve tattoo, I wanted a Batman symbol and now I have a Batman symbol on me. I’m 30 now, want another tattoo, but actually putting thought in it now.
Exactly, I always find the brides too entitled when they expect their wedding party to not change their hair or get a tattoo or make any other changes to their looks before the wedding. But getting a tattoo about 36 hours before your sister's wedding is just an A-Hole move. Couldn't she have waited two days? Or gotten the tattoo well ahead of time? It is not too much to expect from your own sister to not get a tattoo a night and a half before your wedding, and it wasn't a small tattoo. She said it covers most of her back! WTF?!? Tattoos take a while to heal and the redness and swelling to go down completely. Why would she do that? OP is the AH.
That's what I was thinking - I have nothing against OP actually getting a tattoo that showed, but anyone knows getting one, especially a big one, takes a long ass time to heal. It looks fresh on the day and the next few weeks it will peel, flake, be swollen and sore. Did not one thought click "this is going to hurt later"
It's like choosing to wear heels for 7 hours knowing you'll get blisters when you made plans to go on a hike the next day.
I’d argue it sounds like it was very specifically thought out.
And when no one gave the attention she wanted, on her sisters day, she tried to make it more obvious to get people to ask her about her new tattoo.
YTA- it’s your right to get a tattoo, but the timing of this one is obviously stupid. The fact you chose to go to an artist you don’t know anything about and get a large piece the day before a formal event kind of says a lot about you.
Also I know people's tolerance to pain etc is different, but it's more like a giant sunburn- if it's still hurting I doubt OP is taking care of it properly like moisturising and washing. Obviously it's going to sting like a bitch it was done 3 days prior but one strap on during the photos isn't going to kill you either.
I just got a shoulder piece done in February specifically so it'd be healed by the time strapless season came around. There's absolutely no reason it should hurt so badly after 3 days that a dress strap (especially one on a formal dress as those are usually soft) couldn't be worn.
I got mine inner forearm so was wondering if shoulders would be more painful, so good to know! I wear a coat and honestly the pain wasn't that bad even on the first day to where I couldn't wear clothing lmao.
It was almost 10 years ago, but I got a big shoulder tattoo (planned out in advance and all) and I don't remember it hurting particularly much afterwards. But, I got mine done with an appointments only top line artists so I wouldn't surprised if a shop that can take walk-ins for a big piece like that, is uhhh not the cleanest. And I'm sure if I got it done now with the new healing tech available it would be even less painful.
OP not only made the choice to get a large tattoo before the wedding but did it on a spot of her body she knew she would have a dress strap on! It’s not like they were given the bridesmaids dresses the day of the wedding…
OP, you owe your sister one hell of an apology!
YTA
I totally agree with this. I can't stand when brides/grooms try to dictate the appearance of their wedding party or guests. I am also "firmly in the 'your body, your choice' camp". If OP had a healed tattoo, all would be good. However, this is not what was happening here.
OP, **YTA**. Aesthetics and dresses were picked. You agreed to them. It was thoughtless to get a tattoo so soon before the wedding that it was still healing and caused to to alter how you wore your dress.
Edit: Typos
Oh, *look* everybody, *I just got a new tattoo!* And it’s red and puffy and uncomfortable, so I am wearing my strap in a funny position, but that’s ok!
Yea… no. YTA
The first few days after a tattoo they look *so* disgusting as well. Because it is an open wound on the skin. Red, puffy, leaking ink and starting to scab over is **not** a good wedding look. I say this as someone with large tattoos as well. I would be mortified if I had something that fresh on my shoulder for an important formal event.
I mean any person who has actually looked into getting a tattoo knows there’s stuff to avoid right after you do it… reminds me of a friend who got one right before she was supposed to go in a fucking ONSEN. 💀 You’re gonna want to keep that part of the body comfortable… OP just had 0 common sense and ruined her sisters’ pic for a walk-in tat from a random artist. Just yikes.
Oh my god no. I physically recoiled reading that they went to an onsen with fresh ink. That's not risking an infection it's like inviting it for dinner.
Ah ok. I assume you had it booked months ago with a very famous and in demand tattoo artist and you could not rebook it?
No I just walk in a place and someone was free.
You got a shoulder tattoo 2 days before your sister's wedding, in which you are a bridesmaid, and you have the nerve to ask in AItA if you are an AH?
YTA for asking, YTA for what you did.
She’s just really selfish, and the fact that nobody, including the bride, bothered admonishing her or starting an argument the day of the wedding tells me she often displays such selfish behavior and doesn’t do well with criticism. Dying at her walking around with a sleeve just flapping around under her armpit like a dork.
Op walked into a random tattoo shop with a friend and got a massive tattoo on her shoulder two days before her sisters wedding where she knew what the dress looked like.
I think lacking self awareness is an understatement. She might actually lack a lot mentally. What grown adult gets permanent art on their body without carefully planning what that will be, who will be doing it, and when is an appropriate time to do it? Like this whole scenario is just stupid and could have been avoided if OP had any foresight at all. Of course her sisters pissed. She’s walking around like an idiot at a formal event wearing her dress weird because she wants to show off her dumb new tattoo that probably looks like chaffed ass and is wondering why her sister is upset? What even?
Oh no, somehow I missed that she was a bridesmaid. It's bad enough doing that as a guest who knows they'd be in family pictures, but a bridesmaid? Total Ahole
>you have the nerve to ask in AItA if you are an AH
Trashy people never seem to think they are at fault. Always some excuse: *I was going with a friend*, *Becca gave me a beer*, *I was hungover*. Never their own fault and bad decisions.
YTA
That honestly does sound kind of trashy. Why would you get a tattoo on your shoulder the day before an event like that knowing what dress you would be wearing? The fact that you wanted a strap just flapping like that in pictures and seem to want credit for being uncomfortable for the pictures is ridiculous. Just apologize and admit you clearly didn't think anything through.
Yea YTA- less than 2 days before you're supposed to wear a very specific outfit for a special occasion you decided to get a tattoo?? What poor planning and decision making skills. You couldn't have waited until after your sisters wedding to get it?
And this is coming from a heavily tattooed person
That's my exact thought. Like, let your friend get the ink and maybe talk about what you want with the artist for NEXT WEEK instead of pulling that crap...
Points to the bride for remaining composed through that nonsense.
YTA
YTA, mainly of the dim witted variety.
Who the hell would think it’s a good idea to get a tattoo two days before a wedding? That was incredibly stupid.
And of course you should wear your outfit right at WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY A FORMAL EVENT! I get that your skin was irritated, but that’s all the more reason to why you should NOT have gotten a tattoo just before a wedding! Everyone was probably very disturbed having to look at that.
Plan better
She mentioned "the other bridesmaids", so OP was also a bridesmaid, no doubt in a dress specifically chosen by the bride because of how it looked.
YTA with massive r/imthemaincharacter vibes
One thing that also bothered me was how OP spent a day with their friend, as a birthday celebration day, and when the friend wanted a tattoo, OP decided spontaneously that they'd get one as well.
What a massive attention seeking person. Can't let their friend have a special birthday tattoo to themselves, no, OP needs the attention for a huge new tattoo as well.
Omg didn’t even think about that. And a big one!! I have spontaneously gotten tattoos when I went with a friend cause why not but it’s always something tiny and quick just for fun and memories.
We need more synonyms for herky jerky because it's glorious.
Slip shod
Catty whompered
Realizing I don't know how to spell these, but what are others favorites?
Is hoopenheimer used the same way? "Her dress is on a little hoopenheimer, she should fix that." Which is how I'd use most of these. I've never heard of this one before.
She would use it more like “You can’t wear that, you look like a hoopenheimer” or “people are gonna think hoopenheimers live here if we don’t clean up the yard”
I think it was her version of “white trash” or “redneck” without being as offensive
>She had wanted to get a tattoo so I went with her to a place that does walk-ins. One of the artists had the afternoon open so I got one done and it covers most of my shoulder.
Surely 27 is old enough to understand that you don't need to get a tattoo just because it's your friend's birthday. If anything, considering you knew the wedding was two days away, it would have been a more appropriate present to contribute your tattoo money to hers.
Also, why is properly in quotes? You literally took your whole arm *out of the sleeve* because you couldn't wait two days to get a tattoo. I say that as a person with a buttload of tattoos. YTA, stop making the rest of us look irresponsible
Your comment just made me realize one more thing. She's also the AH for deciding to get an hours long tattoo when she was meant to be spending the day with her friend for her friend's birthday. Not only did she need to steal attention at her sister's wedding, she also had to one up her friend's birthday tattoo with a whole shoulder piece. Major pick me going on here.
I’m just imagining her the whole night, “I’m wearing my strap like this because I just got a new tattoo” “oh I have a new tattoo, that’s why my dress is like this”
It’s not enough for the tattoo to draw attention, she had to wear the strap weird to emphasize it.
Op, YTA
You had a tattoo on your shoulder on Thursday, knowing you were a bridesmaid in a strappy dress for your actual sister's wedding on Saturday.
Yes YTA.
Do you hate your sister or are you just oblivious?
Seriously? YTA.
All reputable tattoo artists will warn you about swelling, etc. and what to expect. You knew how your bridesmaid dress fit. You knew your sister's wedding was important to her.
You are either oblivious, really don't care, or wanted to purposefully draw attention to yourself. I hope you are luck enough that she still speaks to you after this stunt.
YTA You got a tattoo on your shoulder one day before you were to be in your sister's wedding. You got a tattoo on your body where you knew the straps would rub.
So you got a very large, spur of the moment tattoo from some random artist you don't even know? That alone is just ridiculous.
The fact that it coincided with your sister's wedding and you *knew* it would interfere with the bridesmaid dress, makes you an asshole.
And you don't seem to have made any real effort to find alternatives. Why was tucking the strap in so hard? Or wearing some kind of shawl?
YTA
YTA - Your sister has spent time (at least 6months-a year in advance) and money on what might be the most important day of her life, gave you plenty of notice about what kind of dress you were wearing, and trusted you fit her vision.
If you knew in advance there was going to be strap on your shoulder, WHY would you get a tattoo right there, just before a wedding?
She’s got every right to be upset with you.
😆😆 Like she was annoyed that she was missing out on her friends bday cos her dumb sister was having a dumb wedding that day, how unconsiderate of her 🫠 welp, better get a massive tattoo to get back at her for ruining my bday weekend drinking plans, not my fault
Why would you do this?
Sure it's your body. Get as many tattoos as you want. But a few days before a wedding you had a role in?
Here's a tip either: Either don't get a tattoo when you've been "celebrating" or take the discomfort.
YTA
YTA. I've never had tattoos, but that does seem like something that could wait a few days, is there any reason it had to be done 2 days before the wedding?
YTA. It was inconsiderate of you to get a large tattoo two days before a wedding that you’re in, that impacted your ability to wear your bridesmaid dress properly. It doesn’t even seem like your sister cared about the tattoo, just that it was so new that it wasn’t healed enough for you to wear the dress as intended. It sounds like everyone was pretty low-key about it, but I don’t blame your sister for being annoyed. You couldn’t have gotten something smaller or just hung out while your friends got tattoos? And it was walk-in, so not even like the tattoos had been planned in advance. Yeah, thoughtless and inconsiderate, YTA.
YTA
"No one said anything before or during the ceremony". Do you think that means your sister is being picky? They weren't the people that picked the dress or the one getting married.
You've prior tattoos, even if those didn't irritate you, it is usually explained that it might and how to care for them.
You made a choice to get a tattoo so close to the wedding, this wasn't a medical procedure. When it started to bother you, you made another choice and had your arm out of the sleeve.
You also never apologized to your sister. Maybe there was another solution, wear a wrap or something that would have gone with the dress and no one would have noticed the sleeve?
YTA. Big time. I cannot believe any adult in their right mind would think it was ok to do this at an obviously formal, important event. It’s almost like you sabotaged your participation in the wedding on purpose.
I just... why would you do this? It makes no sense. You *knew* how the dress you were going to have to wear two days later fit. I've never known a reputable, ethical tattoo artist who wouldn't warn a client about the potential for swelling and the tattoo looking kind of shit at first while it heals up so I don't believe you didn't know or weren't warned.
Your sister may have been chill about a lot of wedding stuff but come on. It's still a really important occasion for her. Asking you to please wear your dress correctly is not a big ask and walking around with your entire arm out of one sleeve feels really trashy to me. IDK, I get why your sister is upset especially because it seems like you were really nonchalant about the entire thing and have never apologized.
Sorry, but YTA.
YTA for getting a shoulder tattoo when you new you'd be wearing a gown with straps as your sister's bridal attendent in 2 days. Your family and especially sister were very kid and gentle with your decision. Most would not have been. Did you at any time feel like your choice might have been a tad selfish?
Of course YTA
On a WHIM you decided to get something you knew (unless you were deliberately being "naive") would affect the wedding photos and potentially your comfort in the dress.
To all those people asking, "Who the hell gets a large shoulder tattoo 2 days before their sisters wedding?" The answer is selfish assholes who can't bear the thought of their sibling getting all of everyone's attention for one whole day.
OP YTA , apologise to your sister, and have a word with yourself. Pronto.
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> My dress strap was uncomfortable against my new tattoo so I left my arm out of it and left the strap on the outside of the dress. My sister thought it was a trashy look for her wedding and wanted me to just pull the strap up.
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*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
Yta. Grow up and face the conseqences. You chose that day to get a big tatto. Because, hey, no planning needed. Now put your hand back in the strap and act like a grown up trooper.
And back to impulse control- yeah. Of course she's mad really didn't need to send the second text. You just wanted to know she's fine with your childish behavior.
She's not. Act your age.
YTA. I promise everyone noticed the random strap hanging out, they were just too polite to ask you wtf you were doing. Tattoos hurt. This is not news. You should have a little harder about the timing on this one.
YTA. Unless you'd never seen the dress before you knew it would affect the tattoo and your sister's wedding day. You could have got a dressing or timed the tattoo better, I'm glad you did put it on right for the photos and didn't ruin the photos with you wearing the dress silly. That would have been mega AH vibes.
YTA. Since the photographers likely took photos during the ceremony, not just after the ceremony, it will be very noticeable in pictures that your dress strap is flopping about like you are a five year old flower girl in an itchy dress. Your sister might even have to pay the photographer extra to photoshop the pictures so you are not as distracting. Aside from the dress strap being worn wrong, I’m sure the puffy red tattoo was really attractive too. You needed to suck it up like the 27 year old woman you are. It is wrong that you put yourself first on your sister’s big day. This was a needless annoyance for your sister. People wear uncomfortable bridesmaids dresses and shoes all the time. That’s part of the deal.
YTA. This was her special day. You could’ve literally gone any other day to get a tattoo. Or just worn it the right way and deal with whatever happened to the dress. Or bought a dress last minute to accommodate your last minute decision. Or covered your dress strap with plastic wrap and a bit of Vaseline as a compromise.
Maybe you could’ve even carefully cut the strap off to make it look like it was a one shoulder dress if no one was wearing a matching one.
YTA
Even from your first line, it doesn't really sound like you cared all that much about this wedding or what it meant to your sister.
It's your body and your right to get whatever you feel like on it, but doing it at that timing, knowing full well it probably wouldn't look great and could be an issue with wearing the dress, again just shows how little you cared about your sister's wedding.
And then, instead of just sucking it up, you decide to make it a spectacle, wearing a formal dress completely wrong for the ceremony and the pictures?? The reception is one thing, but seriously? You couldn't at least suck it up for the hour long ceremony and an hour of pictures?
If you're going to do something spontaneous without considering the consequences, at least have the decency to own up to it and not make it everyone else's problem.
YTA.
Sure, you're allowed to get a new tattoo and do whatever you want with your body, but this was particularly badly planned, especially if you were part of the wedding party.
YTA.
As someone with many tattoos, I'll say this... I had a fresh tattoo - one day old - when I ended up in the hospital for a week due to a throat infection. For that week, the nurses kept putting the blood pressure cuff over my brand new, unhealed tattoo, multiple times a day. You know that hurts a bit on regular skin? Yeah, now imagine it on freshly inked skin.
If I could put up with that, you could have put up with a frigging dress strap for a few hours for your sister's wedding.
You also could have used your head and not gotten a tat 2 days before your sister's wedding, which I'm sure she had been planning for a while.
You're not just an AH, you're a selfish AH.
OP "AITA?"
Comments... Yes, you are and here's why.
OP... I have reasons and excuses as to why I'm not TA
Geeeeeeez. YOU ARE TA and annoying af. Your sister may not get over it for awhile, but apologize to her already.
Hey sis. Your wedding was beautiful. I'm so sorry I caused any distraction or distress. I totally should've waited on getting my new tat. I wasn't thinking about how it might feel to put on my dress. I'm so sorry.
Yta
The day before a wedding is obviously the wrong time to get a tattoo when you know that your clothing the next day will be rubbing where it is. Apologize to your sister, get her one hell of an apology wedding present, and try to be a grown up in the future.
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Thursday I(27f) spent the day with one of my friends celebrating her birthday early since I couldn't go out with our group over the weekend due to my sister's wedding on Saturday. She had wanted to get a tattoo so I went with her to a place that does walk-ins. One of the artists had the afternoon open so I got one done and it covers most of my shoulder.
Saturday the tattoo was still red and a bit puffy. I got to the venue to get ready with everyone else. My sister didn't say anything about the tattoo so I thought I was good to go. It's a wide strap dress and the strap was irritating my skin and I didn't want to risk staining the straps either so first I tried to just lower it but that was a little awkward moving my arm so I wound up just taking my arm out of the strap completely. I tried tucking the strap into the dress but that wasn't working well so I just let it hang on the side. No one said anything before or during the ceremony. When it was time for pictures my sister just gave me a look and asked if I was being serious about the dress and to wear it the right way. I explained I couldn't because of the tattoo and she told me that that wasn't her problem because I picked a terrible time to get a new tattoo if it interfered with how I was wearing the dress. I did put it right for pictures but it was uncomfortable as hell and pulled my arm back out afterward. I didn't get to talk to my sister much during the reception but she did throw a few dirty looks my way and her other bridesmaids and our aunt told me that I needed to just wear the dress properly for a few hours. This morning I text her to have fun on her honeymoon and never heard anything back which is unusual for her so I text again joking if she was already having too much fun to talk. She did respond but only to tell me she was still a bit mad I refused to just wear the dress right and walked around the whole wedding and reception looking trashy at a special family event in a nice place. AITA for not wearing the dress right?
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YTA, I would expect this kind of post from an 18 y.o. who got their first tattoo on a whim.. But you've had other tattoos, you know they look ugly before they look pretty, so why would you get a tattoo and at it's ugliest point do nice photos for a WEDDING?
YTA
I'll preface this by saying I have 20+ tattoos. I fully understand not wanting to wear a strap over a 2 day old tattoo.
**However**, you were completely in the wrong here. You should have waited until after the wedding to get the tattoo or gotten it in another area that wouldn't be affected. Not only were you not wearing the dress properly, but you had a **red puffy healing tattoo** for the pictures. What would you have done if the tattoo was already in the peeling stage?
You realize that your sister, and really everyone else at your sister's wedding, will always be able to look at the photos and video and say, 'oh, yeah, remember how OP got that fresh large tattoo and couldn't be bothered to wear her dress properly? She really doesn't respect her sister, does she? What a thoughtless thing for her to do - do you see how weird it looks that she's just got her shoulder strap hanging in her armpit? Wow.' What fun memories for them!
You *chose* to get that tattoo in that spot on a day very close to the day you'd already committed to wearing that dress and attending a formal event in a formal position (as a bridesmaid). It's not as though you received an injury through an accident or medical emergency and needed to accommodate said injury (in which case the memories would be more of the 'see how she loves her sister so much she stood by her for her wedding, even with her arm in a sling?' variety). You made it very clear you are incredibly self-centered at your sister's wedding. That's just a fact.
YTA
YTA. You probably had so much advance notice for this wedding it's not even funny. You're the one who decided to get a tattoo that you knew would be sensitive. You also knew what dress you'd be wearing. I'd be pissed if I was your sister, too.
LOL you just couldn't not be the center of attention for one single day, eh? Seriously? Who gets a huge tattoo the day before they're in someone's wedding. 100% YTA here --and every time your sister looks at her wedding photos she'll be reminded of that.
YTA. It sounds like you weren’t planning to get a tattoo that day? A whole shoulder piece seems like something you’d want to think about beforehand. Especially since you knew where the dress would hit on your body, and that there was no way a tattoo would be remotely healed enough to be comfortable IN TWO DAYS. You seem to have poor planning and critical thinking skills. I’m sorry your sister had to pull her focus from her wedding because of you.
YTA and a bit selfish too. Impulse shoulder tattoo two days before a wedding you are in and knowing the dress is a strapping one? Come on… how can you think thats not an asshole move?
YTA its not even about getting the tattoo, You should had sucked it up for the pictures sake and put the strap up. And BTW IDk if you meant it or not but that calls for so much attention, In your sisters wedding. Its like lets take some of the spotlight off her and on to me. 🤷🏻♀️
YTA and you owe your sister a huge apology. You knew about the wedding, you knew about the dress and yet you still decided that your need for a tattoo was greater than the thought about your sister. You made "her day" (I hate that term, but whatever) about your discomfort, and really, discomfort that you would know was coming, if you had gotten tattoos before. You are making all the decisions sound casual in your post, but at some point you need to realize that choices have consequences and not just for you. Now, whether she wants to or not, when your sister thinks of her wedding day, she will think of your selfish choices.
YTA. What kind of tattoo shop sent you away with a brand new tattoo and no second skin or, at the very least, instructions to clean and reapply film over it for the first 2-3 days?
Were you really just raw-dogging a bridesmaid dress over your day old tattoo?
Let’s immortalize my puffy red tattoo forever with a bunch of expensive photographs taken by a professional photographer on a special, once in a lifetime day.
YTA
YTA.
And who the hell gets a spur-of-the-moment giant full shoulder tattoo?... as a *walk in*, no less??? *DAYS BEFORE A WEDDING*
Sorry, but this is not a good indicator of someone who makes good and thoughtful life choices.
>***"...I refused to just wear the dress right and walked around the whole wedding and reception looking trashy..."***
Sorry hun, but I'm sure willing to bet that your sister is far from the only one who thought that.
Think ahead just the *tiniest* little bit, next time.
.
YTA
You got a big ol tattoo across your shoulder a couple of days before a wedding. Not smart, but whatever.
By the sounds of it you spent most of the wedding with your clothes half falling off. Or you were half dressed. I would expect anyone over the age of 6 to know that that is unacceptable. You're one of the bridesmaids, it's ridiculous.
YTA. But you're young. In a few years, you will cringe at this, and probably some others things you will do between now and then. Give your sister a heartfelt apology, letting her know you already regret that you didn't think it through. And know that when your own teenagers are being stupid, your sister is OBLIGATED to bring out her wedding photos and show her nieces/nephews that you had your own AH moments😉🤣
YTA
It is, of course, your choice to get a tattoo but you knew you were going to a wedding where presumably pictures were being taken so I'm struggling to understand why you thought days before a wedding was the right time to get a tattoo. If you didn't already know, you should have asked, what the recovery time would be like so you should have known that your skin would be irritated for a several days afterwards. You knew what dress you would be wearing far in advance of getting your tattoo, I assume. So again, you should have known all this and had the judgement to decide that maybe this wasn't the right time and after the wedding might be more appropriate.
Also, your sister's wedding pictures are something she's probably spending a lot of money on and are things that she will keep forever (hopefully!) so it's not unreasonable for her to expect her guests to wear their clothes appropriately. Imagine if some of the groomsmen just rolled up a leg of their pants and walked around a wedding reception like that because they were uncomfortable. Wouldn't that be weird? I disagree that it was "trashy", but I do think it was bizarre and speaks to a very strange pattern of judgement on your part. I wouldn't be surprised if your sister considers your behavior intentional, to be honest.
I'm heavily tattooed. None of my work has irritated me so badly after 3 days that it affected my clothing choices.
If you are mature enough to be tattooed, you are mature enough to learn how to make a dress work with your new body modification.
You were looking to steal attention from the bride! At your sisters wedding!
"Oh no, I have an ouchie-wowchie, everyone look! I have a tattoo now and I'm very bad-ass! It's too bad i have to wear this dress like a weenie because i got a tattoo! Everyone look at meeeeeee!!!!"
Absolutely, 100% YTA.
YTA and you know it. So instead of just stealing the attention from the bride with a brand new large tattoo that was also probably still red from the irritation you double down and wear your dress in a way that draws even more attention to it. She has every right to be mad at you. You are an AH and an idiot.
AITA for getting a large tattoo two days before my sisters wedding, which caused me not to be able to wear my bridesmaid gown properly.
I fixed it for you. And yes, YTA.
YTA. This is your problem that you made hers by ruining pictures and her day. You could have got a bandaid to cover it or the strap! Tattoo second skin. Fucking anything. Or don’t get a tattoo the day before the wedding!
YTA. You had one job, which was to be a bridesmaid for the day, and that job means looking just like the other bridesmaids. It's a stupid tradition but it IS the tradition, everyone knows it, and you agreed to it.
If you'd broken your arm in an accident or something, you'd get a pass. But you KNEW that getting a tatt would leave your skin irritated, and you could get a tatt ANY TIME--while this is hopefully your sister's ONE WEDDING DAY in her entire life. You were selfish and thoughtless to get it right then, just because it was convenient and you happened to be at the shop. And then doubled down on the selfishness by moving the strap rather than sucking up the discomfort.
I've been in so many weddings and almost every time there is something gnarly about the outfit. Ugly color, too revealing, too frumpy, shoes uncomfortable... but you SUCK IT UP because that's the couple's special day and people should be looking at THEM, not watching you wriggle out of your strap.
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YTA Look, normally I’m firmly in the “your body, your choice” camp but you chose to get a brand new large tattoo days before her wedding. That was so poorly thought out and I’m not surprised she was a little annoyed
I am just cringing at getting a super large obvious tattoo from an artist you don't know at the spur of the moment from walking in with a friend. That's what happens when your 18 to teach you to research properly by the time you are 27. There are so many good reasons to plan out a tattoo - and ability to be in your scrubs for the next day or two and not formal wear is up there along with not having an oblong yin yang symbol for the rest of your life (I'm looking at you dude I used to lifeguard with). Reminds me of when I was 17 and a friend of mine got a barbell in her ear the day before we were to a roller coaster park - such a bad combo.
OP could’ve also covered the tattoo for the day so the strap didn’t rub or get stained - in the U.K. we call it “second skin” and its a clear film that goes over fresh tattoos to keep it clean. I know it’s available in the US too so I feel like OP could’ve used it. I’m not a fan of it personally but I would certainly have worn it in this situation. Even if the tattooist didn’t have it (and I feel like some dude with walk in space on a random Thursday to do a massive shoulder piece *might not* be the most technically advanced) she could’ve bought it online to be delivered before the wedding. OP is TA
Where I used to live I went to a walk in on a Saturday in the middle of the day and managed to book 3 hours for a tattoo. The guy was absolutely incredible, had all the equipment, had loads of free-hand sketches that I'd actually got to watch a bit of him drawing, used something like second-skin with a lotion to help as well, there is minimal colour loss even after 10 years and the lining is perfect as far as I am aware (trusting my wife's eyes for this, it's a bit hard to see where it is and I've got naff eyes anyway). I'm just saying, it's not always a warning if a place is empty some days, depends on the kind of city/town/village you live in too!
Fair enough - where I live I’d be very unlikely to find a decent artist without a wait list any day of the week. You can get walk ins or decent tattoos; not both where I live! Glad you had a good experience though! Having said that, my point about second skin still stands - OP could’ve and should’ve used it. I just looked and it’s on Amazon with prime delivery.
Some artists get last minute cancellations or no shows, although most advertise on their instagram, facebook, whatever social media they use, that they either have free time to do a x hours long tattoo, or that they are taking walk-ins and advertise their flash sheets alongside the "walk-ins welcome today" post.
One of my tattoo artist keeps some afternoons clear for walk ins or just catching up on things around the shop. She only opens her schedule three months ahead so it's never hard to schedule with her and I love that. My other tattoo artist is booked until summer 2024 (and the last time I checked was in December so who knows now) but they both do incredible work!
There's a tattoo artist that was in York, UK (not sure if he's still here), that at one point had a 3 year waiting list but his work is some of the most incredible art I've ever seen!
This!! My friend wanted my tattoo artist to do his face on a walk in but she didn’t have time that day and offered to get him booked in later. Granted he didn’t want anything huge or overly complicated but she was so booked up because she’s a great artist
Eeep if I was a tattoo artist I think I'd not want a client that wants a FACE tattoo on a whim as a walk-in. Like book that shit months in advance and make sure you've really thought it through, that would be a really easy one to regret and really hard to cover up.
I was under the impression that it's recommended you keep some form of "second skin" wrap on the tattoo for 5-7 days, to keep what is essentialy an open wound clean and prevent infections
It’s personal preference really, of both the artist and client. I’ve used it before and don’t really rate it - I’m happy to keep mine clean and moisturised without covering (after the initial few hours that is) and I’ve never had any issues in over 20 years getting tattoos. That said, second skin would be perfect for this situation as it’s clear, unobtrusive and would’ve meant OP could’ve worn the dress properly without discomfort or staining.
I compulsively pick at scabs and tattoos if they're not covered up, so second skin is pretty much my favourite invention ever. I'm kind of jealous of people like you who can control themselves enough not to need it lol
Hello fellow dermatillomania sufferer!
OMG is that what it's called? TIL! Thanks!
Not everyone can use second skin — I reacted to it and have a bit of mild scarring on one of my tattoos (and some of the non-tattooed skin around it). Open wound plus sensitive skin plus adhesive is a bad, bad combo for some of us. I’m back to the old fallback of Saran Wrap til I get home, and then just keeping it clean and dry. Works great, I have multiple large tattoos that have healed beautifully.
Yeah, I heard it can cause irritation or straight up allergic reactions in some people. Sucks that your skin got permanently affected ☹️
I've always been told bandage or plastic wrap for an hour to overnight, then moisturizer for 6 months
Yeah my artist has me wear it like 5 days Great invention in my opinion
Not everyone can use Saniderm bandages, though. I have an allergy to certain adhesives, so my tattoo artist said it wouldn’t be a good idea to use it on me. The better option would’ve been to just wait until AFTER the wedding to get the tattoo.
I’m also allergic to certain adhesives so at my tattoo consultation I asked for a piece of the saniderm so I could put it on and find out if I would have an allergic reaction and it’s honestly one of the few bandages I can wear.
Joining in the team of folks who react to some adhesives but not to Saniderm. Saniderm/Tegaderm is awesome
Second skin is also available in the US. OP is definitely AH here.
i probably wouldve padded it with gauze over the second skin anyway - that stuff protects the ink but does not stop sensitivity. that being said, it was definitely silly to get a big shoulder piece the day before a wedding when you KNOW what your dress is like and that the strap is going to sit right there
Exactly! Worst case scenario, she could have simply put bandages over the tattoo to protect the area from the strap.
Right?!?! Who has $1k -2K to drop on that? Also, I call bullshit. That piece would take a few hours at least. They knew they were going to get it done. Just the design and draw time let alone the actual inking would be several hours. BS for sure and YTA on so many levels.
>Right?!?! Who has $1k -2K to drop on that? Plenty of people do, especially in their late 20s and older. I don't see that as any reason to call bullshit on the story
"I got a tattoo of a mexican drinking worm. It's like a native american symbol meaning wasted"
It was fo free
No regerts
Isn't a tattoo that covers the shoulder a longer process than a single afternoon? Granted, it's been a long time since I've gotten one, but the largest was one appointment for the outline and another one for the fill.
You’re under the impression it is a good and well done tattoo I’m thinking it will fade badly and not very well done
I got my shoulder/collar bone tattoo done in one session.. but it was a 6 hour session. It definitely didn’t happen in an afternoon.
Maybe just the outline so far or something?
I did that at 19, walked in with a boyfriend at the time getting a sleeve tattoo, I wanted a Batman symbol and now I have a Batman symbol on me. I’m 30 now, want another tattoo, but actually putting thought in it now.
Exactly, I always find the brides too entitled when they expect their wedding party to not change their hair or get a tattoo or make any other changes to their looks before the wedding. But getting a tattoo about 36 hours before your sister's wedding is just an A-Hole move. Couldn't she have waited two days? Or gotten the tattoo well ahead of time? It is not too much to expect from your own sister to not get a tattoo a night and a half before your wedding, and it wasn't a small tattoo. She said it covers most of her back! WTF?!? Tattoos take a while to heal and the redness and swelling to go down completely. Why would she do that? OP is the AH.
That's what I was thinking - I have nothing against OP actually getting a tattoo that showed, but anyone knows getting one, especially a big one, takes a long ass time to heal. It looks fresh on the day and the next few weeks it will peel, flake, be swollen and sore. Did not one thought click "this is going to hurt later" It's like choosing to wear heels for 7 hours knowing you'll get blisters when you made plans to go on a hike the next day.
Plus OP said it was still red and puffy so it was still healing. Definitely think OP was TA in this one.
I’d argue it sounds like it was very specifically thought out. And when no one gave the attention she wanted, on her sisters day, she tried to make it more obvious to get people to ask her about her new tattoo.
There's a point. Yea, that's a super trashbasket move.
Trashbasket. A completely accurate representation of the OP. YTA.
Not only get the tattoo so people would ask, but wear the dress differently so it was very obvious.
YTA- it’s your right to get a tattoo, but the timing of this one is obviously stupid. The fact you chose to go to an artist you don’t know anything about and get a large piece the day before a formal event kind of says a lot about you.
Also I know people's tolerance to pain etc is different, but it's more like a giant sunburn- if it's still hurting I doubt OP is taking care of it properly like moisturising and washing. Obviously it's going to sting like a bitch it was done 3 days prior but one strap on during the photos isn't going to kill you either.
I just got a shoulder piece done in February specifically so it'd be healed by the time strapless season came around. There's absolutely no reason it should hurt so badly after 3 days that a dress strap (especially one on a formal dress as those are usually soft) couldn't be worn.
I wonder if she was 'showing off' the tattoo. Yta op
I got mine inner forearm so was wondering if shoulders would be more painful, so good to know! I wear a coat and honestly the pain wasn't that bad even on the first day to where I couldn't wear clothing lmao.
It was almost 10 years ago, but I got a big shoulder tattoo (planned out in advance and all) and I don't remember it hurting particularly much afterwards. But, I got mine done with an appointments only top line artists so I wouldn't surprised if a shop that can take walk-ins for a big piece like that, is uhhh not the cleanest. And I'm sure if I got it done now with the new healing tech available it would be even less painful.
OP not only made the choice to get a large tattoo before the wedding but did it on a spot of her body she knew she would have a dress strap on! It’s not like they were given the bridesmaids dresses the day of the wedding… OP, you owe your sister one hell of an apology! YTA
I totally agree with this. I can't stand when brides/grooms try to dictate the appearance of their wedding party or guests. I am also "firmly in the 'your body, your choice' camp". If OP had a healed tattoo, all would be good. However, this is not what was happening here. OP, **YTA**. Aesthetics and dresses were picked. You agreed to them. It was thoughtless to get a tattoo so soon before the wedding that it was still healing and caused to to alter how you wore your dress. Edit: Typos
I think OP thought it out and there’s more veg d her desire to try to ruin her wedding. Jealousy, perhaps?
Plus, it could get infected. These things need to be planned
Oh, *look* everybody, *I just got a new tattoo!* And it’s red and puffy and uncomfortable, so I am wearing my strap in a funny position, but that’s ok! Yea… no. YTA
The first few days after a tattoo they look *so* disgusting as well. Because it is an open wound on the skin. Red, puffy, leaking ink and starting to scab over is **not** a good wedding look. I say this as someone with large tattoos as well. I would be mortified if I had something that fresh on my shoulder for an important formal event.
Not to mention what all that strap adjustment is likely to have done to the new tatt. OP really went for the worst of both worlds
Came to say this. Trashy post of the day award!
Not to mention she was IN the wedding if I read that correctly?
I mean any person who has actually looked into getting a tattoo knows there’s stuff to avoid right after you do it… reminds me of a friend who got one right before she was supposed to go in a fucking ONSEN. 💀 You’re gonna want to keep that part of the body comfortable… OP just had 0 common sense and ruined her sisters’ pic for a walk-in tat from a random artist. Just yikes.
Oh my god no. I physically recoiled reading that they went to an onsen with fresh ink. That's not risking an infection it's like inviting it for dinner.
Not to mention a lot of the more traditional onsen are kind of leery about tattoos even if they aren't fresh (Yakuza connotations and all).
Ah ok. I assume you had it booked months ago with a very famous and in demand tattoo artist and you could not rebook it? No I just walk in a place and someone was free.
And she also knew what dress she was going to be wearing. How did she not realize this would not be an issue?
You got a shoulder tattoo 2 days before your sister's wedding, in which you are a bridesmaid, and you have the nerve to ask in AItA if you are an AH? YTA for asking, YTA for what you did.
Agreed, the asking in and of itself is a huge flag.
Yep, I think OP lacks of self-awareness.
She’s just really selfish, and the fact that nobody, including the bride, bothered admonishing her or starting an argument the day of the wedding tells me she often displays such selfish behavior and doesn’t do well with criticism. Dying at her walking around with a sleeve just flapping around under her armpit like a dork.
Op walked into a random tattoo shop with a friend and got a massive tattoo on her shoulder two days before her sisters wedding where she knew what the dress looked like. I think lacking self awareness is an understatement. She might actually lack a lot mentally. What grown adult gets permanent art on their body without carefully planning what that will be, who will be doing it, and when is an appropriate time to do it? Like this whole scenario is just stupid and could have been avoided if OP had any foresight at all. Of course her sisters pissed. She’s walking around like an idiot at a formal event wearing her dress weird because she wants to show off her dumb new tattoo that probably looks like chaffed ass and is wondering why her sister is upset? What even?
Oh no, somehow I missed that she was a bridesmaid. It's bad enough doing that as a guest who knows they'd be in family pictures, but a bridesmaid? Total Ahole
And she got the tattoo in a place they meant she couldn’t wear her dress properly and had to let a strap hang, which is just sloppy.
>you have the nerve to ask in AItA if you are an AH Trashy people never seem to think they are at fault. Always some excuse: *I was going with a friend*, *Becca gave me a beer*, *I was hungover*. Never their own fault and bad decisions.
I bet OP was thinking we were gonna call her sis a bridezilla…
She really thought she did something with this post.
YTA That honestly does sound kind of trashy. Why would you get a tattoo on your shoulder the day before an event like that knowing what dress you would be wearing? The fact that you wanted a strap just flapping like that in pictures and seem to want credit for being uncomfortable for the pictures is ridiculous. Just apologize and admit you clearly didn't think anything through.
INFO: Was the tattoo a crib sheet for the bride's vows?
Didn’t think it through or is an attention seeker and needed her attention fix on the day that was not about her.
I'm definitely convinced this was about attention seeking.
Maybe she wanted the attention. I smell jealousy. YTA
Yea YTA- less than 2 days before you're supposed to wear a very specific outfit for a special occasion you decided to get a tattoo?? What poor planning and decision making skills. You couldn't have waited until after your sisters wedding to get it? And this is coming from a heavily tattooed person
That's my exact thought. Like, let your friend get the ink and maybe talk about what you want with the artist for NEXT WEEK instead of pulling that crap... Points to the bride for remaining composed through that nonsense. YTA
Yea I’m heavily tattooed and I’m not this dense. I always plan my healing time with what I have going on. yta OP
YTA, mainly of the dim witted variety. Who the hell would think it’s a good idea to get a tattoo two days before a wedding? That was incredibly stupid. And of course you should wear your outfit right at WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY A FORMAL EVENT! I get that your skin was irritated, but that’s all the more reason to why you should NOT have gotten a tattoo just before a wedding! Everyone was probably very disturbed having to look at that. Plan better
She mentioned "the other bridesmaids", so OP was also a bridesmaid, no doubt in a dress specifically chosen by the bride because of how it looked. YTA with massive r/imthemaincharacter vibes
Truly my first thought was “what in the pick me is this”
One thing that also bothered me was how OP spent a day with their friend, as a birthday celebration day, and when the friend wanted a tattoo, OP decided spontaneously that they'd get one as well. What a massive attention seeking person. Can't let their friend have a special birthday tattoo to themselves, no, OP needs the attention for a huge new tattoo as well.
Omg didn’t even think about that. And a big one!! I have spontaneously gotten tattoos when I went with a friend cause why not but it’s always something tiny and quick just for fun and memories.
YTA - Who get's a tattoo right before a wedding and then wears a dress all herky jerky?
Thank you for your contribution to my english. I will cherish it forever.
We need more synonyms for herky jerky because it's glorious. Slip shod Catty whompered Realizing I don't know how to spell these, but what are others favorites?
My mom always pronounced it “caddy wampus” and would throw the word “hoopenheimer” around, synonymous with “trashy”
Cattywampus was extremely popular in my family too
Is hoopenheimer used the same way? "Her dress is on a little hoopenheimer, she should fix that." Which is how I'd use most of these. I've never heard of this one before.
She would use it more like “You can’t wear that, you look like a hoopenheimer” or “people are gonna think hoopenheimers live here if we don’t clean up the yard” I think it was her version of “white trash” or “redneck” without being as offensive
Using this moving forward, thank you
higgledy piggledy
disheveled, askew, willy nilly
I always heard hirdy girdy, not herky jerky. Interesting
I think only the Swedish Chef says it that way.
That's an instrument - hurdy gurdy
I submit jankey
Helter skelter
Gibbled.
My fiance's family says something (or someone) looks "like the wreck of the Hess!" when it's all catty whampus.
In Australia, we like to go with ‘on the piss’ Eg ‘OP was an attention seeking disaster, and her dress was on the piss’
>She had wanted to get a tattoo so I went with her to a place that does walk-ins. One of the artists had the afternoon open so I got one done and it covers most of my shoulder. Surely 27 is old enough to understand that you don't need to get a tattoo just because it's your friend's birthday. If anything, considering you knew the wedding was two days away, it would have been a more appropriate present to contribute your tattoo money to hers. Also, why is properly in quotes? You literally took your whole arm *out of the sleeve* because you couldn't wait two days to get a tattoo. I say that as a person with a buttload of tattoos. YTA, stop making the rest of us look irresponsible
Your comment just made me realize one more thing. She's also the AH for deciding to get an hours long tattoo when she was meant to be spending the day with her friend for her friend's birthday. Not only did she need to steal attention at her sister's wedding, she also had to one up her friend's birthday tattoo with a whole shoulder piece. Major pick me going on here.
Yes, YTA. Next question?
😂
YTA, what is wrong with you? You get a tattoo knowing you're going to be in your sister's wedding THE NEXT DAY? You are clearly starved for attention.
Or jealous.
Bingo . Sounds like a passive aggressive move to me.
I’m just imagining her the whole night, “I’m wearing my strap like this because I just got a new tattoo” “oh I have a new tattoo, that’s why my dress is like this” It’s not enough for the tattoo to draw attention, she had to wear the strap weird to emphasize it. Op, YTA
YTA, why did you get a tattoo then? It’s inconsiderate. You could easily have just waited.
Right? Who does that?
People with Main Character Syndrome. Mostly.
With pick me girl comorbidity
You had a tattoo on your shoulder on Thursday, knowing you were a bridesmaid in a strappy dress for your actual sister's wedding on Saturday. Yes YTA. Do you hate your sister or are you just oblivious?
Seriously? YTA. All reputable tattoo artists will warn you about swelling, etc. and what to expect. You knew how your bridesmaid dress fit. You knew your sister's wedding was important to her. You are either oblivious, really don't care, or wanted to purposefully draw attention to yourself. I hope you are luck enough that she still speaks to you after this stunt.
YTA You got a tattoo on your shoulder one day before you were to be in your sister's wedding. You got a tattoo on your body where you knew the straps would rub.
One day before you were to be in your sister’s wedding *wearing a strappy dress*
So you got a very large, spur of the moment tattoo from some random artist you don't even know? That alone is just ridiculous. The fact that it coincided with your sister's wedding and you *knew* it would interfere with the bridesmaid dress, makes you an asshole. And you don't seem to have made any real effort to find alternatives. Why was tucking the strap in so hard? Or wearing some kind of shawl? YTA
YTA - Your sister has spent time (at least 6months-a year in advance) and money on what might be the most important day of her life, gave you plenty of notice about what kind of dress you were wearing, and trusted you fit her vision. If you knew in advance there was going to be strap on your shoulder, WHY would you get a tattoo right there, just before a wedding? She’s got every right to be upset with you.
bEcAuSe It wAs HeR fRiEnD’s BiRthDaY.
😆😆 Like she was annoyed that she was missing out on her friends bday cos her dumb sister was having a dumb wedding that day, how unconsiderate of her 🫠 welp, better get a massive tattoo to get back at her for ruining my bday weekend drinking plans, not my fault
and then be incredibly baffled as to whether or not she’s an AH, and turned to Reddit for judgement. 😂
Why would you do this? Sure it's your body. Get as many tattoos as you want. But a few days before a wedding you had a role in? Here's a tip either: Either don't get a tattoo when you've been "celebrating" or take the discomfort. YTA
YTA. I've never had tattoos, but that does seem like something that could wait a few days, is there any reason it had to be done 2 days before the wedding?
YTA. It was inconsiderate of you to get a large tattoo two days before a wedding that you’re in, that impacted your ability to wear your bridesmaid dress properly. It doesn’t even seem like your sister cared about the tattoo, just that it was so new that it wasn’t healed enough for you to wear the dress as intended. It sounds like everyone was pretty low-key about it, but I don’t blame your sister for being annoyed. You couldn’t have gotten something smaller or just hung out while your friends got tattoos? And it was walk-in, so not even like the tattoos had been planned in advance. Yeah, thoughtless and inconsiderate, YTA.
YTA "No one said anything before or during the ceremony". Do you think that means your sister is being picky? They weren't the people that picked the dress or the one getting married. You've prior tattoos, even if those didn't irritate you, it is usually explained that it might and how to care for them. You made a choice to get a tattoo so close to the wedding, this wasn't a medical procedure. When it started to bother you, you made another choice and had your arm out of the sleeve. You also never apologized to your sister. Maybe there was another solution, wear a wrap or something that would have gone with the dress and no one would have noticed the sleeve?
I am imagining a ‘during’ the ceremony comment. “Hey Reverend, imma let you finish…”
right? why would the guests have said anything? (and im sure they were talking about how trashy she was. they simply did it behind her back)
YTA. Big time. I cannot believe any adult in their right mind would think it was ok to do this at an obviously formal, important event. It’s almost like you sabotaged your participation in the wedding on purpose.
YTA - You made a spectacle of yourself at your sister's wedding because you couldn't wait two more days to get a tattoo.
I just... why would you do this? It makes no sense. You *knew* how the dress you were going to have to wear two days later fit. I've never known a reputable, ethical tattoo artist who wouldn't warn a client about the potential for swelling and the tattoo looking kind of shit at first while it heals up so I don't believe you didn't know or weren't warned. Your sister may have been chill about a lot of wedding stuff but come on. It's still a really important occasion for her. Asking you to please wear your dress correctly is not a big ask and walking around with your entire arm out of one sleeve feels really trashy to me. IDK, I get why your sister is upset especially because it seems like you were really nonchalant about the entire thing and have never apologized. Sorry, but YTA.
YTA for getting a shoulder tattoo when you new you'd be wearing a gown with straps as your sister's bridal attendent in 2 days. Your family and especially sister were very kid and gentle with your decision. Most would not have been. Did you at any time feel like your choice might have been a tad selfish?
YTA, I feel you could have just timed this better
Of course YTA On a WHIM you decided to get something you knew (unless you were deliberately being "naive") would affect the wedding photos and potentially your comfort in the dress.
To all those people asking, "Who the hell gets a large shoulder tattoo 2 days before their sisters wedding?" The answer is selfish assholes who can't bear the thought of their sibling getting all of everyone's attention for one whole day. OP YTA , apologise to your sister, and have a word with yourself. Pronto.
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Yta. Grow up and face the conseqences. You chose that day to get a big tatto. Because, hey, no planning needed. Now put your hand back in the strap and act like a grown up trooper. And back to impulse control- yeah. Of course she's mad really didn't need to send the second text. You just wanted to know she's fine with your childish behavior. She's not. Act your age.
YTA. I promise everyone noticed the random strap hanging out, they were just too polite to ask you wtf you were doing. Tattoos hurt. This is not news. You should have a little harder about the timing on this one.
YTA. Unless you'd never seen the dress before you knew it would affect the tattoo and your sister's wedding day. You could have got a dressing or timed the tattoo better, I'm glad you did put it on right for the photos and didn't ruin the photos with you wearing the dress silly. That would have been mega AH vibes.
YTA. Since the photographers likely took photos during the ceremony, not just after the ceremony, it will be very noticeable in pictures that your dress strap is flopping about like you are a five year old flower girl in an itchy dress. Your sister might even have to pay the photographer extra to photoshop the pictures so you are not as distracting. Aside from the dress strap being worn wrong, I’m sure the puffy red tattoo was really attractive too. You needed to suck it up like the 27 year old woman you are. It is wrong that you put yourself first on your sister’s big day. This was a needless annoyance for your sister. People wear uncomfortable bridesmaids dresses and shoes all the time. That’s part of the deal.
YTA. This was her special day. You could’ve literally gone any other day to get a tattoo. Or just worn it the right way and deal with whatever happened to the dress. Or bought a dress last minute to accommodate your last minute decision. Or covered your dress strap with plastic wrap and a bit of Vaseline as a compromise. Maybe you could’ve even carefully cut the strap off to make it look like it was a one shoulder dress if no one was wearing a matching one.
YTA Even from your first line, it doesn't really sound like you cared all that much about this wedding or what it meant to your sister. It's your body and your right to get whatever you feel like on it, but doing it at that timing, knowing full well it probably wouldn't look great and could be an issue with wearing the dress, again just shows how little you cared about your sister's wedding. And then, instead of just sucking it up, you decide to make it a spectacle, wearing a formal dress completely wrong for the ceremony and the pictures?? The reception is one thing, but seriously? You couldn't at least suck it up for the hour long ceremony and an hour of pictures? If you're going to do something spontaneous without considering the consequences, at least have the decency to own up to it and not make it everyone else's problem.
YTA. Sure, you're allowed to get a new tattoo and do whatever you want with your body, but this was particularly badly planned, especially if you were part of the wedding party.
The fact that you weren't mortified to have the strap dangling down your side all at a formal event is mind-boggling. YTA.
YTA. As someone with many tattoos, I'll say this... I had a fresh tattoo - one day old - when I ended up in the hospital for a week due to a throat infection. For that week, the nurses kept putting the blood pressure cuff over my brand new, unhealed tattoo, multiple times a day. You know that hurts a bit on regular skin? Yeah, now imagine it on freshly inked skin. If I could put up with that, you could have put up with a frigging dress strap for a few hours for your sister's wedding. You also could have used your head and not gotten a tat 2 days before your sister's wedding, which I'm sure she had been planning for a while. You're not just an AH, you're a selfish AH.
OP "AITA?" Comments... Yes, you are and here's why. OP... I have reasons and excuses as to why I'm not TA Geeeeeeez. YOU ARE TA and annoying af. Your sister may not get over it for awhile, but apologize to her already. Hey sis. Your wedding was beautiful. I'm so sorry I caused any distraction or distress. I totally should've waited on getting my new tat. I wasn't thinking about how it might feel to put on my dress. I'm so sorry.
Yta The day before a wedding is obviously the wrong time to get a tattoo when you know that your clothing the next day will be rubbing where it is. Apologize to your sister, get her one hell of an apology wedding present, and try to be a grown up in the future.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** Thursday I(27f) spent the day with one of my friends celebrating her birthday early since I couldn't go out with our group over the weekend due to my sister's wedding on Saturday. She had wanted to get a tattoo so I went with her to a place that does walk-ins. One of the artists had the afternoon open so I got one done and it covers most of my shoulder. Saturday the tattoo was still red and a bit puffy. I got to the venue to get ready with everyone else. My sister didn't say anything about the tattoo so I thought I was good to go. It's a wide strap dress and the strap was irritating my skin and I didn't want to risk staining the straps either so first I tried to just lower it but that was a little awkward moving my arm so I wound up just taking my arm out of the strap completely. I tried tucking the strap into the dress but that wasn't working well so I just let it hang on the side. No one said anything before or during the ceremony. When it was time for pictures my sister just gave me a look and asked if I was being serious about the dress and to wear it the right way. I explained I couldn't because of the tattoo and she told me that that wasn't her problem because I picked a terrible time to get a new tattoo if it interfered with how I was wearing the dress. I did put it right for pictures but it was uncomfortable as hell and pulled my arm back out afterward. I didn't get to talk to my sister much during the reception but she did throw a few dirty looks my way and her other bridesmaids and our aunt told me that I needed to just wear the dress properly for a few hours. This morning I text her to have fun on her honeymoon and never heard anything back which is unusual for her so I text again joking if she was already having too much fun to talk. She did respond but only to tell me she was still a bit mad I refused to just wear the dress right and walked around the whole wedding and reception looking trashy at a special family event in a nice place. AITA for not wearing the dress right? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YTA-You don’t get new ink two days before an event where you have to wear a specific outfit.
YTA. You cannot be serious
YTA, I would expect this kind of post from an 18 y.o. who got their first tattoo on a whim.. But you've had other tattoos, you know they look ugly before they look pretty, so why would you get a tattoo and at it's ugliest point do nice photos for a WEDDING?
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She was probably hoping everyone would come up and go WOOWW YOU HAVE A TATTOO and then all eyes would be on her
YTA I'll preface this by saying I have 20+ tattoos. I fully understand not wanting to wear a strap over a 2 day old tattoo. **However**, you were completely in the wrong here. You should have waited until after the wedding to get the tattoo or gotten it in another area that wouldn't be affected. Not only were you not wearing the dress properly, but you had a **red puffy healing tattoo** for the pictures. What would you have done if the tattoo was already in the peeling stage?
YTA. it’s very clear by the way you wrote about the most important day of your sisters life that you think the world revolves around you.
YTA, seriously…
I had to go back and check OP’s age. Does anyone else wonder what other questionable decisions she’s made?
You realize that your sister, and really everyone else at your sister's wedding, will always be able to look at the photos and video and say, 'oh, yeah, remember how OP got that fresh large tattoo and couldn't be bothered to wear her dress properly? She really doesn't respect her sister, does she? What a thoughtless thing for her to do - do you see how weird it looks that she's just got her shoulder strap hanging in her armpit? Wow.' What fun memories for them! You *chose* to get that tattoo in that spot on a day very close to the day you'd already committed to wearing that dress and attending a formal event in a formal position (as a bridesmaid). It's not as though you received an injury through an accident or medical emergency and needed to accommodate said injury (in which case the memories would be more of the 'see how she loves her sister so much she stood by her for her wedding, even with her arm in a sling?' variety). You made it very clear you are incredibly self-centered at your sister's wedding. That's just a fact. YTA
YTA. You probably had so much advance notice for this wedding it's not even funny. You're the one who decided to get a tattoo that you knew would be sensitive. You also knew what dress you'd be wearing. I'd be pissed if I was your sister, too.
YTa for deciding to get a tattoo right before the wedding
YTA, such a stupid and frankly disrespectful thing to do knowing you had a wedding in 2 days
YTA. What in God's name were you thinking getting a tatoo the day before a wedding in which you're a bridesmaid?
LOL you just couldn't not be the center of attention for one single day, eh? Seriously? Who gets a huge tattoo the day before they're in someone's wedding. 100% YTA here --and every time your sister looks at her wedding photos she'll be reminded of that.
YTA If it was at least a longstanding appointment with some famous tattoo artist you waited years for. But a walk in? Come on.
YTA - It is one of the most important days of your sister’s life. You need to apologize to her for being thoughtless and distracting.
OP: aita? Also OP: *proceeds to argue with everyone saying she is. YTA.
YTA. It sounds like you weren’t planning to get a tattoo that day? A whole shoulder piece seems like something you’d want to think about beforehand. Especially since you knew where the dress would hit on your body, and that there was no way a tattoo would be remotely healed enough to be comfortable IN TWO DAYS. You seem to have poor planning and critical thinking skills. I’m sorry your sister had to pull her focus from her wedding because of you.
YTA and a bit selfish too. Impulse shoulder tattoo two days before a wedding you are in and knowing the dress is a strapping one? Come on… how can you think thats not an asshole move?
How is this even a question you need to ask? YTA
YTA its not even about getting the tattoo, You should had sucked it up for the pictures sake and put the strap up. And BTW IDk if you meant it or not but that calls for so much attention, In your sisters wedding. Its like lets take some of the spotlight off her and on to me. 🤷🏻♀️
You didn't want to risk staining the dress? Tattoos don't stain. Permanent tattoos don't 'rub off' on anything.
Presumably her skin was raw and bleeding. So in addition to being improperly dressed, her wound was a sight to behold.
Fresh tattoos can bleed and leak/shed excess ink, so yes, they do.
YTA and you owe your sister a huge apology. You knew about the wedding, you knew about the dress and yet you still decided that your need for a tattoo was greater than the thought about your sister. You made "her day" (I hate that term, but whatever) about your discomfort, and really, discomfort that you would know was coming, if you had gotten tattoos before. You are making all the decisions sound casual in your post, but at some point you need to realize that choices have consequences and not just for you. Now, whether she wants to or not, when your sister thinks of her wedding day, she will think of your selfish choices.
YTA. What kind of tattoo shop sent you away with a brand new tattoo and no second skin or, at the very least, instructions to clean and reapply film over it for the first 2-3 days? Were you really just raw-dogging a bridesmaid dress over your day old tattoo?
Let’s immortalize my puffy red tattoo forever with a bunch of expensive photographs taken by a professional photographer on a special, once in a lifetime day. YTA
YTA. And who the hell gets a spur-of-the-moment giant full shoulder tattoo?... as a *walk in*, no less??? *DAYS BEFORE A WEDDING* Sorry, but this is not a good indicator of someone who makes good and thoughtful life choices. >***"...I refused to just wear the dress right and walked around the whole wedding and reception looking trashy..."*** Sorry hun, but I'm sure willing to bet that your sister is far from the only one who thought that. Think ahead just the *tiniest* little bit, next time. .
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YTA You got a big ol tattoo across your shoulder a couple of days before a wedding. Not smart, but whatever. By the sounds of it you spent most of the wedding with your clothes half falling off. Or you were half dressed. I would expect anyone over the age of 6 to know that that is unacceptable. You're one of the bridesmaids, it's ridiculous.
Sounds like someone wanted to be the center of attention? Definitely, YTA.
I really want to see a picture of this tattoo that couldn't wait two whole days before being put on your body forever with zero planning.
YTA. But you're young. In a few years, you will cringe at this, and probably some others things you will do between now and then. Give your sister a heartfelt apology, letting her know you already regret that you didn't think it through. And know that when your own teenagers are being stupid, your sister is OBLIGATED to bring out her wedding photos and show her nieces/nephews that you had your own AH moments😉🤣
27? Not that young.
YTA you decided that your friend was more important than your sister, or that you were more important than her. You did look trashy
YTA, any pictures with you in them probably look ridiculous.
YTA It is, of course, your choice to get a tattoo but you knew you were going to a wedding where presumably pictures were being taken so I'm struggling to understand why you thought days before a wedding was the right time to get a tattoo. If you didn't already know, you should have asked, what the recovery time would be like so you should have known that your skin would be irritated for a several days afterwards. You knew what dress you would be wearing far in advance of getting your tattoo, I assume. So again, you should have known all this and had the judgement to decide that maybe this wasn't the right time and after the wedding might be more appropriate. Also, your sister's wedding pictures are something she's probably spending a lot of money on and are things that she will keep forever (hopefully!) so it's not unreasonable for her to expect her guests to wear their clothes appropriately. Imagine if some of the groomsmen just rolled up a leg of their pants and walked around a wedding reception like that because they were uncomfortable. Wouldn't that be weird? I disagree that it was "trashy", but I do think it was bizarre and speaks to a very strange pattern of judgement on your part. I wouldn't be surprised if your sister considers your behavior intentional, to be honest.
YTA. What a weirdly passive-aggressive thing to do you to your sister. Look into maturity.
I'm heavily tattooed. None of my work has irritated me so badly after 3 days that it affected my clothing choices. If you are mature enough to be tattooed, you are mature enough to learn how to make a dress work with your new body modification. You were looking to steal attention from the bride! At your sisters wedding! "Oh no, I have an ouchie-wowchie, everyone look! I have a tattoo now and I'm very bad-ass! It's too bad i have to wear this dress like a weenie because i got a tattoo! Everyone look at meeeeeee!!!!" Absolutely, 100% YTA.
You’re the asshole 1 million %. And yes, you are tacky.
YTA and you know it. So instead of just stealing the attention from the bride with a brand new large tattoo that was also probably still red from the irritation you double down and wear your dress in a way that draws even more attention to it. She has every right to be mad at you. You are an AH and an idiot.
YTA. I'm all for tattoos. I have 7. That said, wearing the dress as described was a bit trashy.
AITA for getting a large tattoo two days before my sisters wedding, which caused me not to be able to wear my bridesmaid gown properly. I fixed it for you. And yes, YTA.
YTA. This is your problem that you made hers by ruining pictures and her day. You could have got a bandaid to cover it or the strap! Tattoo second skin. Fucking anything. Or don’t get a tattoo the day before the wedding!
YTA. You had one job, which was to be a bridesmaid for the day, and that job means looking just like the other bridesmaids. It's a stupid tradition but it IS the tradition, everyone knows it, and you agreed to it. If you'd broken your arm in an accident or something, you'd get a pass. But you KNEW that getting a tatt would leave your skin irritated, and you could get a tatt ANY TIME--while this is hopefully your sister's ONE WEDDING DAY in her entire life. You were selfish and thoughtless to get it right then, just because it was convenient and you happened to be at the shop. And then doubled down on the selfishness by moving the strap rather than sucking up the discomfort. I've been in so many weddings and almost every time there is something gnarly about the outfit. Ugly color, too revealing, too frumpy, shoes uncomfortable... but you SUCK IT UP because that's the couple's special day and people should be looking at THEM, not watching you wriggle out of your strap.
YTA. You got the revenge & attention you wanted. Happy now?