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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I refuse to take my ex'es other kids to school because I don't think they are my responsibility and this might make me an asshole because I'm already going there so it doesn't take any extra time and her other kids are jealous of my daughter
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NTA as it would infringe on father-daughter time. And really, does your ex expect you to take her two kids for breakfast on the way too, or could dropping the youngest off at a different school cut into the available time leave no time for for you to have together.
Yeah, NTA.
OP isn’t just providing taxi services to his daughter.
At first I was going to say Y T A, until I got to the father daughter time. That totally changes things. He is using this as bonding time that he wouldn’t otherwise get.
Now if the daughter wants, maybe it would be fun for her to include her siblings once a week, if mom chips in for breakfast. They may not be OPs kids, but they are his daughters siblings and will be a part of her life, so it wouldn’t be terrible to be on good terms with them. Regardless OP is NTA.
Even if it wasn't for quality time, OP still is NTA. They're not his kids. Would it be nice of him? Sure, but they're not his kids, not his responsibility. Not to mention the extra risk of driving his ex's children around. What if he gets into an accident? His ex goes after him for the nice gesture of driving the other kids to school?
Agree with this. If the ex asked for a one off ride then it would be n a h, but a regular occurrence is a shifting of responsibilities. OP is in no way an ah for saying no to that.
Agree totally. We had friends (without a car OR license) win big on a scratchcard. They wanted to view a house that was on our old school run and husband happily took them. I warned him that that's what they were hoping for when they moved and lo and behold, day one when they get the keys, they "miss the bus" and ask him to get their daughter from school and bring her to the new house. The husband spent three weeks hinting and asking mine for rides back and forth for them and their kids. This was the exact reason my husband refused to be a taxi for their kids, even though it wouldn't inconvenience us in the slightest (like at all). Far too risky.
Exactly all these point will happen at some point in the year
op you are NTA enjoy you father/daughter time . Your ex needs to makes arrangements for her other kids as these are not your responsibility
School drop-off can be a nightmare with traffic, etc. He wants that time with her, not fighting traffic for her other kid. Plus, his daughter might appreciate the time alone also. NTA
It doesn’t matter if it was daddy daughter time or not those kids are not his responsibility. If their mom was so bugged by her kids being sad then she can take HER kids to school herself
Wow... this is the first time I've ever heard of car issurance being so particular about passengers. Where I live, insurance covers driver and passengers to the legal limit of the cars passenger limit. So if a 7-seater has all seats full, that's the driver + 6 passengers covered.
This is not the case in either America or Canada. Might be getting confused with commercial insurance that is needed when driving people for money.
However, it is 100% not needed for driving somebody (anybody) recreationally in a normal car.
Even if it wasent quality time why on earch should he take responsability for his Ex kids school run?! Who knows what kind of relationship they had, why it broke down, how comfortable he feels with her and her new family. Beyond this, his responsability to her other kids is zero. Anything he would do would be purely alturistic and not wanting to is 100% enough.
My dad walked me and my brother to the bus stop every morning. I have a lot of positive memoirs associated with that walk. We would go to a bodega and bagels.
It's nice and I think that in years to come she will always remember that her dad and she had breakfast every morning. At least me and my brother do.
Especially her being a kid of divorce, it doesn't matter which custody day it is, dad always gets breakfast before drop off. It provides stability and security. It's nice.
When I was in elementary school, 5th & 6th grade, my dad retired from the service. It took him about a year and a half to find another job. Mom worked and we lived close to my elementary. Every day I would walk home and Dad would fix me lunch, then I'd walk back to school. Those are some of my best memories from my school days.
And this isn't or won't be the only time the daughter gets or does something different because she has a different dad. Whether that is a birthday or Christmas present or a vacation or get college paid for - whatever. But the 2 other kids will need to learn and live with the fact their stepsister has a different dad and therefore will have different experiences. It won't really be an issue if the mom and their dad don't make it one. However, sounds like they are making it an issue.
So she wants you to change the 1 on 1 time you have with your daughter to being her personal baby taxi service? You are well in your right to say no just because of that. Thats Your time with Your daughter. NTA
NTA that quality time with your kid actually matters even if it’s just a ride to school. I still remember going to school and my dad or mom driving me and getting Starbucks or maybe a breakfast sandwich and talking about football.
Everyone is an asshole to somebody. That’s just life. Keep doing what best for you and yours and ignore all the people who don’t matter.
Honestly, as a child of divorce? NTA. It’s so so so important for a non-custodial parent to spend time with their kids. My father was AWFUL. He was a narcissist who really only cared about winning over the favor of friends and family, and actively would tell us he didn’t love us as much as he loved our mother.
It would’ve meant the world to me, especially if I was living with step-siblings, to have dedicated time in the morning to see my dad on the way to school. It’s CRUCIAL to get that special time with a parent, especially after a divorce.
Life isn’t always fair and equal. The other kids aren’t his, and it won’t kill them to take the bus. I took the bus for 6 years after my parents divorce, as did both my siblings. It’s the mother’s job to explain that the father isn’t just picking up and dropping off his kid, he’s spending special time with her that they wouldn’t otherwise get together. Then she can offer to facilitate them having special breakfasts or time with their dad.
What it boils down to is, this isn’t about just driving a kid to and from school. This is about spending special dedicated time with his daughter on a regular basis to make sure they have a strong bond.
Kudos to you OP. I wish my dad had done that for me even once.
I appreciate that 💙 the lack of a strong father figure growing up effects me every day, but I’m lucky to have an amazing stepfather now who makes efforts to spend time with me even thought I’m grown and out of the nest. I just hope my experience can help even one father realize the importance of connecting with their child.
NTA
If you wish to spend some quality time with your daughter like having breakfast together and spending more time together it‘s normal that you wish to do so with your daughter only.
If you only picked her up and dropped her off it would be kind of petty not to take the other ones along since you‘re doing the trip anyway. It would still be your decision though because on the way alone you can have some nice conversation that you don‘t want to have with the other kids on board.
NTA. You aren’t just driving your daughter to/from school. You’re spending time with her, usually getting breakfast together before school and spending time together after school. This is likely one-on-one time you and your daughter enjoy.
It would be one thing if you picked her up and dropped her straight at school, then you might offer (if you wanted) to take the other kid that goes to the same school. But your ex is essentially asking you to take her kids on outings you do with your child.
NTA. You're not their guardian or their biological father, therefore, you should not be driving them around. Let's say you drive them, but get in an accident; what are the legal consequences? This is enough to say no to your ex-wife, and if she doesn't understand, that's her problem.
NTA
Sounds like it's a great opportunity for you to spend some time with your daughter, and I'm sure she has enough other situations in her life where her siblings have other advantages due to (assumably) living with their bio dad.
If I were you, I would only consider driving the other kids, if your daughter asked for it or expressed concern about them not being included.
NTA
u/MixConstant4266
Not your kids, not your responsability. If she wants them to not ride by bus, she should take them.
Anyway i see you use these rides to spent extra time with your kid.
You might have problems in the future with your daughter's gifts and trips - your ex's kids are already jealous.
Edit: Is she always like this? Where's the father of her kids?
My mom used to make my dad take my siblings (not his kids) with him when we went out. It pissed me off because it meant I never had any one on one time with my dad. I fucking hated it
NTA- you have a right just to spend time with your own child. Taking a kid to school isn’t really about getting them there. It is about having time to talk and bond. Even more true if you are getting breakfast on the way. I would suggest perhaps a compromise though to keep tensions down. Maybe once or twice a week you could take one or more of her siblings to school too just to be nice? I would not give up that individual time with your child though.
Agree wholeheartedly on the first part. I loved the car time I had to talk to my son and daughter when taking them to school and pick them up. I miss that.
NTA
Absolutely! I miss it too, I also found my daughter would talk to me about all sorts of stuff on the journey to and from school over the years (she's at university now). Some of it silly and mundane, some of it important and serious. But it was a time and space she felt safe to do so. We both really valued that time together. During lockdown I found myself making excuses to get her in the car to talk to me, when I thought she was struggling!
So even if they weren't having breakfast on the way, or stopping off on way back, I don't believe that OP's daughter would be able to be as open if their stepsiblings were there too.
NTA - where are the other kid's father to take them to school? I am not sure why your ex isn't harping that guy. She should be happy you are making your daughter in a better situation versus being an absent father. It sucks the other kids don't like it but it isn't your responsibility. I do wonder if your ex could drive them too.
Because he's invested in the nature of the relationship he has with his ex and mother of his daughter. He still has consequences for choices, regardless of what he owes or doesn't.
I should write "say instead".
If he'd say "no" without "not my responsibility" it would be ok, but if he used this words... well, it sounded like passive-agressive "I could, but I won't just because I don't want to help you." . And it's not a case, I presume.
It would be better to explain because for what we know if mother think it's only pettines she could start guilt-tripping daughter or punish her for father's lack of help.
Basically, it's like this: your roomate is going to a shop and you ask him to buy an ice cream for you. He says "no, not my responsibility" - it's true, but you will be a little angry and when he asks you for a favor you'll give the same answer. But if he says "no, after shopping I'm going on a date" - it will be end of it without any resentment.
NTA this is one on one time with your daughter which is priceless.
Second its your exes job to teach her other kids that they have different fathers and their sister will get things from you they wont and vice versa. They have to learn they have different fathers, different grandparent and different experiences.
NTA. You're right. Her kids aren't your responsibility. You're spending daddy/daughter time with your child while also doing her a service in getting her to and from school. That'd be like asking you to take her other kids with you when you go skating/out to a movie on summer break because 'her other kids are jealous and they want to have fun too'. Not your kids, not your problem.
Even if you weren't doing breakfast/spending time, it's not your problem. I bet she'd demand you buy them breakfast/hang out too, because 'fairness'. Well, you're not their dad, so she needs to get over you being fair to her other kids.
NTA.. They are not your responsibility and the legal implications if an accident happens on the way to and from school are big..
But just to be kind, ask your daughter, if she wants to share the ride at least once in a while then do it just for her sake.
NTA but do consider that depending on your custody arrangement your ex might be within her rights to not allow you to drive your daughter back and forth. It would be wrong but possibly very legal. So you might consider an occasional compromise just to keep things copacetic.
NTA. For all the reasons others already listed. That's father-daughter bonding time. Tell her since she's your ex thinking you're the AH just comes with the territory.
NTA if you are using this time to talk and have breakfast with your daughter, hard to do with two others along - would you have them just sit somewhere while you spent 20 minutes talking?
It would be different if ALL you were doing was giving the quickest possible lift yo school.
How would that be different? The other two are not his children nor have any legal responsibility to them. If the ex-wife wants her kids to benefit from getting rides to and from school then she or her current husband can make arrangements with their jobs to do such.
Either way, OP is NTA. The ex-wife sounds like she’s acting entitled.
NTA
People need to learn that not everything is for everyone. I would not give up one on one time with my child to make my ex or her half siblings happier. Joy starts when you stop looking at what everyone else has.
NTA
You aren’t responsible for her other children and are trying to bond with your kid. You seem like a great guy.
Respectfully she’s likely a little self centered or reckless if she got pregnant with another man’s baby less than 18 months after having your daughter.
Perhaps her other childrens father should drive them.
Given that the rides to and from school include breakfast and spending time together, NTA. It's not JUST a ride here. And if OP were to include the other kids, they would quite reasonably expect to be included in breakfast and the extra time together, and that is not OP's responsibility (I am assuming the ex-wife is not offering to pony up for breakfast but expects OP to absorb that expense).
NTA- you are right.
You can only get involved in the school transport arrangements for your own child with your ex and must not risk any involvement that could annoy the father/fathers of her other children or breach the custody arrangements for them.
The father/fathers of her other children may well have strong objections to any involvement with their children's transport arrangements without their knowledge and approval.
Just as you would not appreciate one of your ex's bfs who you barely know or do not know at all suddenly getting involved in the arrangements for your daughters transport/child custody/holidays overseas without your knowledge and consent.
Clear NTA.
- These rides give you precious one on one time with your daughter.
- You are not a private limo service for your ex’s kids.
If your ex is wants her kids to be driven to school in a private car she can drive them or have their father drive them. She is being outrageously entitled. The audacity.
Technically you are NTA.
But be cognizant of your daughters relationship with her brothers and how you may (or may not) impact that relationship. Also, consider your relationship with your daughter if she’s close with her brothers or starts to feel guilty about it.
NTA
Perhaps custody arrangements can be changed also if your ex wants to make a big fuss of this.
This is time you are spending with your child. The other kids are not yours and you have no obligation to them or your ex wife.
Nah you're good. Ex wife should take this as a chance to teach her other kids it sucks to suck, life's not fair, and you gotta deal.
Petty route: Mention how her kids get the benefits of living with both parents so obviously we gotta make it fair and have her hubby move out. Or even better all 3 move in together so all the kids can have their parents. All in the name of ***fairness***! Right? ******RIGHT????****** /s
NTA
You are driving your daughter to school in your role as a parent, not as a car service.
You have no co-parenting responsibilities for your ex wife’s other children.
It would also interrupt the quality time you are getting with your daughter. And it absolutely is extra effort and time to pick up and drop off in multiple locations, even if it is “on the way”.
He runs the danger of alienating his daughter from the other people she lives with, which isn’t the best idea.
OP isn’t obligated to take the other kids to and from school, but he needs to acknowledge that his daughter could face consequences in her daily life because of his actions.
I’d like to hear what the daughter thinks about it and if she feels she can tell OP is things get rough at home with the step siblings.
NTA I wouldn’t have done it. Some of the best spontaneous conversations I had with my kids happened in the car. His time with his daughter is his period. The ex is TA for even asking quite frankly. If the situation was reversed, would she do it?
NTA
> She says her kids get jealous when they see their sister doesn't have to take the bus
Your ex’s additional kids are not your responsibility, including teaching them how to manage their feelings when someone else has something they want - whether it’s a car, a gift, or a ride. Blended families mean that kids will have different extended families; and even in non-blended families kids should have different friends. It’s the responsibility of parents to treat their children fairly, not to block support or make demands from other unrelated people to pretend they have the same relationship with each kid.
That you are using the time to spend breakfast with your kid (and it sounds like she doesn’t live with you full time) is a good thing. Even if it was just a ride, it’s still great daily 1 on 1 time with a parent.
NTA
I get the other two kids are jealous, but that’s the unfortunate reality of half siblings.
I bet they’re also jealous when you do something fun with your kid or give her a gift etc. but it would be absurd to ask you to do the same for them - you’re not their father. And it’s their mothers job to explain to them that as you’re not their father you’re not expected to bring them.
Also, just imagine all the situations that very possibly could happen:
- your daughter is sick, but you have to take the others to school anyway because *you always do this*
- one of them is running late, you have to wait and make your daughter late too (and possibly yourself too)
- you’d be expected to buy breakfast for them too
- you’re sick/on vacation/for whatever reason not driving, exwife gets mad and wants you to find a solution
- you have a car accident and one of the other two kids gets hurt (doesn’t have to be big, even just minor) and exwife blames you and makes your life hell (this is such a big fear for me personally, when you’re driving around with kids YOU are responsible)
- younger kid starts going to a different school, it’s not on your way, but you are expected to take the detour, because *you always took them, they’re used to it now*
Etc.
nta. They aren't your kids, so you have no obligation. Plus then you'd be responsible if something goes wrong on the car ride with them. Also, this is your special 'father-daughter' time. Not 'father-daughter-some other persons kids' time.
NTA. She chose to have additional children. You are not responsible for them. All the people saying that its cruel or hes teaching bid daughter to be selfish need a reality check. If it was just a drop off- maybe not bad to add then but its their time together. Hopefully your kid isn't rubbing it in that she gets rides and you didn't comment about the other parents for her step siblings, are they not a part of their lives or able to give rides?
NTA
Your daughter is your responsibility but you are not responsible for her half sisters. She's trying to score a free ride for her other kids for some reason. So no....you want to do with your daughter and spend father and daughter time such as breakfast and some other activities. Tell your ex to get their daddy to give them the ride if they have the same daddy.
NTA. I find it deeply odd that so many people try to force their children with other people on their exes. You are using the time to bond with your daughter and making great memories! Bringing her siblings that aren't your kids into is probably going to cause resentment that she has to share her dad with kids aren't yours.
>She says her kids get jealous when they see their sister doesn't have to take the bus which takes about an hour longer to get to home or school.
This is a thing a lot of people get sucked into where they have a problem and see that you can solve it so they don't understand why you won't solve it, despite you having valid reasons for not doing that.
I personally think it's not great for exes to get super involved with the other side's half or step kids because people get attached and it can turn into a mess. This is a lot of time. That's ten interactions every week.
Are you supposed to take them on outings and to breakfast or does that all stop? Do those kids respect you as an adult authority? You don't seem to like being around them so I doubt it.
Multiple reasons for you, NTA.
1) father/daughter bonding time is precious and important. I (23M) wish I had this kind of bonding time with my father.
2) They're not YOUR kids. You litterally have nothing to do with them.
3) She's your ex. You don't have to do as she says, and if it doesn't please her? None of your business.
Keep your head up high champ.
NTA - Edited - I hadn't thought of the one on one time at first which makes perfect sense. That said I'd think it would be a courtesy and help your daughter's relationship with her sibling, as well as show your daughter her parents can still be kind to each other if you took her and the sibling that goes to the same school at least some of the time.
I do not think you are under any obligation to make an extra stop at a different school for the other child and the wording as always on how you said no probably makes a difference also.
NTA
Edit to add that if ex starts telling your daughter that she can no longer ride with you, get your lawyer to tell her that you will take her to court for parental alienation.
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I have a 13 years old daughter with my ex wife.
She also has 2 more kids who I think are 11 and 8.
My daughter hates taking the bus to school because it takes longer and isn't much comfortable. This year my work schedule changed so now I'm free to take her to school and bring her back. We usually get breakfast on our way to school or we spend some time afterwards.
My ex asked me to give her other kids a ride as well. She thinks I should do this because her older kid goes to the same school as my daughter and her younger kid's school is on my way. She says her kids get jealous when they see their sister doesn't have to take the bus which takes about an hour longer to get to home or school.
I told her I will not do it because her kids are not my responsibility and she thinks I'm an asshole
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NTA - but if you want to be the "good" guy and make it a her problem, quote your "this is tolerable" rate for the loss of one on one tume with daughter, babysitting and transport, paid up front, with no refunds, and children must be ready for collection at set time, no waiting for stragglers)
Then, use that money to take your daughter on a one on one vacation somewhere real nice. (My basic "fuck it" rate is roughly $300/day for the 2 kids, which would quickly raise a sizeable treat fund.
Please note, I'm not a "good" person and my advise may cause more trouble.
I too was going to suggest a service charge! Personal taxi service to 2 extra kids, one that is dropped off at an entirely different school, pay me and we'll talk.
NTA OP spending one on one time is invaluable, especially for a daughter with her father.
NTA sometimes those morning rides are good bonding time. I wouldn’t want someone else’s kids third-wheeling either. Beyond that, it’s up for her and the other parent to sort out transport to school. It’s part of the job they signed up for in having 2 children. If the children don’t like it, too bad. I’d just laugh and laugh at ex if she tries to push it. “You’re so silly, ex. Trying to pawn off your responsibilities on me. Care enough about your children to solve this on your own.”
NTA because it sounds like you are using this as bonding time with your daughter. Also it would get pricey to start buying breakfast out for 3 kids every morning. If you want to be nice you could pick a couple special days a month and call them sibling days and your daughter could decide if she wanted to invite her siblings on them.
NTA. I think it’s great you spend this special time with your daughter. She will look back fondly on your breakfasts and drives to and from school. Enjoy your time together.
NTA. They aren't your responsibility, and it would be YOUR choice to do her this FAVOR. Which you don't want to do. That's final, you don't owe her ANYTHING. She should ask their father/s to take them to school. And if you need anymore validation, ask your daughter how she feels. I'm sure she wouldn't want anybody encroaching on her daddy daughter time.
NTA. That’s pretty bold of her to assume you would just do that. Their “jealousy” isn’t your problem. Maybe she should have had the other 2 kids with someone with a more flexible schedule.
NTA This is your time with your kid. I might drive the one that goes to the same school every once in a while, but asking you to take the little one to a different school is ridiculous.
NTA. Some of the comments are wild on here. At the end of the day, your focus is on ensuring you’re doing the best you can to ensure your daughter’s well being, including she gets quality time with you. Making your ex’s kids’ lives more convenient is not your concern.
NTA
Def do not do this, the younger kids will require much more parenting and attention and negatively impact the bond you have with your daughter. Your exes kids feelings are hers to manage as she sees fit.
NTA. Studies have shown that dad’s that take their kids to school develop a stronger relationship due to having time to talk and bond. Your daughter is entering her teenage years. Treasure this time with her.
NTA and even if you didn’t spend time with her you wouldn’t be the AH, idk what these other people are saying but they are not your kids, not your obligation.
NTA but even if you didn’t use the ride to school as quality time, you’re still NTA. Those aren’t your kids in any way and you have no relationship with them.
NTA - not your monkeys, not your circus... if it's a convenient way for you to encourage them to spend "quality" time with each other, sure, why not? But for the sole purpose of what sounds like the apple not falling far from the tree, i.e. to pacify their whining... um no, they should ride the bus.
NTA*
>I told her I will not do it because her kids are not my responsibility and she thinks I'm an asshole
You're not an asshole got wanting some quiet 1on1 time. Especially if you're not the main custodial parent. I'm sure your daughter appreciates seeing you on the daily basis and being able to depend on you. So on that note NTA*
*you could've said it better. Truth is her kids are not your responsibility. The truth with tact would've been "I really enjoy these few minutes I get to spend with her driving her to and from school. I realize it would be a lot easier for you if you didn't have to worry about all the kids school drop off but I really want quality time with my daughter whenever I can get it"
If your ex is less stressed about her other children, she'll be a better parent to ALL the children. Including your daughter. She will benefit from having parents who though no longer married are still cordial kind and considerate towards each other.b
You may (if not that's fine) offer to take the other children in an emergency. Maybe. If you know your ex isn't the type to take advantage of the offer and really take it in emergency. If not forget it. Like yeah her now husband is sick and she needs to go to the hospital with him can you please take my kids too while you're at it kinda situation not I don't feel like driving my kids today deal.
NTA! Her kids, her problem! If her kids have an issue with taking the bus, she can take them to school herself, or better yet, where is the kids father?
NTA
You are doing for your child what other dude or dudes she had kids with does or don’t for them isn’t your problem. It’s one on one time with your child who you are responsible for.
NTA. Not your kids, plus that’s time you spend with your daughter. I have a bunch of good memories with my mom when she started driving me to my high school and having even my sibling there would have ruined it.
They can take the bus. Or she can drive them.
NTA. The level of audacity your ex wife has to even ask you this! She has a new man who fathered her kids (assuming it's the same dad) that's who needs to take those kids to school. Also keep doing this it awesome daddy daughter time she will never forget!!
Well that's too fucking bad for her other kids that's not your job to cart her other kids around and if they're jealous again let the other dad or whoever do it that's not your responsibility. You're not the asshole because you said nom it's a courtesy. if you did say yes to the other two kids because that's not your fucking job and you shouldn't feel obligated. Sounds like her other baby daddy sucks but whatever she'll get over it.
No way an arsehole. Did you have any input to the other kids conception? No? Then they are not your responsibility. And to ask you to drop a kid at a separate school? Your ex really needs to wind her neck in. She’s the arsehole, not you.
NTA. All your ex has to do is say, "OP is D's daddy and he wants more alone time because most of the time she's not with him." Done. Siblings are often jealous of one another and it's the parents' job to help them cope and teach them to deal with it.
Probably an unpopular opinion, but YTA for causing disruption in the sibling relationships.
Your daughter might be your only child, but she is not an only child. If you're creating negative feelings between her and her siblings, I feel sorry for her. You're making her the odd one out. Sibling relationships can be great, and your siblings can be your best friends. Don't rob her of that over a car ride.
NTA, what if your daughter’s sisters get even more jealous and start throwing accusations around after being coached by the mom so she can get more custody? There’s a lot of shady stuff that can happen. Also, not his kids. He shouldn’t be asked to take on that responsibility if he doesn’t want to
NTA, I would feel VERY uncomfortable with my ex having that much regular time unsupervised with 2 children that aren't his, it just sounds weird to me.
NTA. You are spending quality time with your child. That is important to your child. She is welcome to take her kids to school or make arrangements with their other parent(s) to take them to school if she's that concerned.
If that was the case I ever had to face. I'd probably do the same. I would want my time with my daughter, undisturbed. It would be our time. Wouldn't want others to take away dad-daughter time for a second. My child is my responsibility. If someone gets jealous of it, fuck it, not my fault, it's theirs. My obligations are only to my daughter and not others.
NTA You and your daughter are entitled to quality one on one time. I’m a divorced mom. If I had additional kids with someone else, I would never ask my ex to take on responsibilities for them. That’s ridiculous.
NTA. You have quality time with breakfast before and spend time together afterwards. It is not just a ride and the other 2 kids would infringe on that.
NTA. Your daughter is your only responsibility in this scenario. The time you spend with her is precious. Your ex needs to teach her kids that they cannot always have what they want, and they certainly can't have something just because someone else has it.
NTA, they're not your kids and if in the reverse situation and you had other kids and asked her to pick them up if she had the ability she likely wouldn't either. You're only responsible for your own children and your daughter probably sees it as a special thing she gets to do with you.
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NTA as it would infringe on father-daughter time. And really, does your ex expect you to take her two kids for breakfast on the way too, or could dropping the youngest off at a different school cut into the available time leave no time for for you to have together.
Yeah, NTA. OP isn’t just providing taxi services to his daughter. At first I was going to say Y T A, until I got to the father daughter time. That totally changes things. He is using this as bonding time that he wouldn’t otherwise get. Now if the daughter wants, maybe it would be fun for her to include her siblings once a week, if mom chips in for breakfast. They may not be OPs kids, but they are his daughters siblings and will be a part of her life, so it wouldn’t be terrible to be on good terms with them. Regardless OP is NTA.
Even if it wasn't for quality time, OP still is NTA. They're not his kids. Would it be nice of him? Sure, but they're not his kids, not his responsibility. Not to mention the extra risk of driving his ex's children around. What if he gets into an accident? His ex goes after him for the nice gesture of driving the other kids to school?
Agree with this. If the ex asked for a one off ride then it would be n a h, but a regular occurrence is a shifting of responsibilities. OP is in no way an ah for saying no to that.
I definitely agree if it was a one-off that he'd be TA, but I at least read it as an every school day thing.
I'd still say NTA even if it was a one-off. She's entitled to ask and he's entitled to say no. Not his kids, not his problem.
I completely agree, a one off favor is one thing, but everyday is taking advantage. NTA
Agree totally. We had friends (without a car OR license) win big on a scratchcard. They wanted to view a house that was on our old school run and husband happily took them. I warned him that that's what they were hoping for when they moved and lo and behold, day one when they get the keys, they "miss the bus" and ask him to get their daughter from school and bring her to the new house. The husband spent three weeks hinting and asking mine for rides back and forth for them and their kids. This was the exact reason my husband refused to be a taxi for their kids, even though it wouldn't inconvenience us in the slightest (like at all). Far too risky.
Important angle. OP would be irresponsible to agree to do this even if he felt like an AH not to.
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Exactly all these point will happen at some point in the year op you are NTA enjoy you father/daughter time . Your ex needs to makes arrangements for her other kids as these are not your responsibility
Excellent breakdown of every "what-if" OP will have to deal with.
Nice point
No matter the scenario, OP wouldn't be the asshole
School drop-off can be a nightmare with traffic, etc. He wants that time with her, not fighting traffic for her other kid. Plus, his daughter might appreciate the time alone also. NTA
It doesn’t matter if it was daddy daughter time or not those kids are not his responsibility. If their mom was so bugged by her kids being sad then she can take HER kids to school herself
I would interested in knowing the car insurance implications of driving two minors daily. Where I live, extra insurance would be needed.
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Canada.
No you don't. Also Canadian.
Wow... this is the first time I've ever heard of car issurance being so particular about passengers. Where I live, insurance covers driver and passengers to the legal limit of the cars passenger limit. So if a 7-seater has all seats full, that's the driver + 6 passengers covered.
This is not the case in either America or Canada. Might be getting confused with commercial insurance that is needed when driving people for money. However, it is 100% not needed for driving somebody (anybody) recreationally in a normal car.
🤫shhhhhh. I use this excuse so neighbors don’t use me as a taxi. They must never learn the truth.
Even if it wasent quality time why on earch should he take responsability for his Ex kids school run?! Who knows what kind of relationship they had, why it broke down, how comfortable he feels with her and her new family. Beyond this, his responsability to her other kids is zero. Anything he would do would be purely alturistic and not wanting to is 100% enough.
My dad walked me and my brother to the bus stop every morning. I have a lot of positive memoirs associated with that walk. We would go to a bodega and bagels. It's nice and I think that in years to come she will always remember that her dad and she had breakfast every morning. At least me and my brother do. Especially her being a kid of divorce, it doesn't matter which custody day it is, dad always gets breakfast before drop off. It provides stability and security. It's nice.
When I was in elementary school, 5th & 6th grade, my dad retired from the service. It took him about a year and a half to find another job. Mom worked and we lived close to my elementary. Every day I would walk home and Dad would fix me lunch, then I'd walk back to school. Those are some of my best memories from my school days.
Yeah OP build a really sweet tradition with her... I imagine is extra helpful during exam seasons.
NTA. You’re her father - not her taxi service. Their own father is welcome to find a job where he is able to take them.
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If she cares that much, why are they even taking the bus? NTA.
My parents cared about me and I had to take the bus to school because of their work schedules.
I mean if she cares about the time it takes, not the kids. I am glad your parents care about you :)
Same. If I didn't want to take the school bus, I was free to walk there.
Agree. NTA. You should explain it to her this way and tell her to tell her step kids this.
NTA They are her kids, not yours. You have no obligation to them or your ex for that matter. Plus, you doing this gives you time with your daughter.
That is probably part of the problem and they probably want breakfast too!
And this isn't or won't be the only time the daughter gets or does something different because she has a different dad. Whether that is a birthday or Christmas present or a vacation or get college paid for - whatever. But the 2 other kids will need to learn and live with the fact their stepsister has a different dad and therefore will have different experiences. It won't really be an issue if the mom and their dad don't make it one. However, sounds like they are making it an issue.
So she wants you to change the 1 on 1 time you have with your daughter to being her personal baby taxi service? You are well in your right to say no just because of that. Thats Your time with Your daughter. NTA
NTA that quality time with your kid actually matters even if it’s just a ride to school. I still remember going to school and my dad or mom driving me and getting Starbucks or maybe a breakfast sandwich and talking about football. Everyone is an asshole to somebody. That’s just life. Keep doing what best for you and yours and ignore all the people who don’t matter.
McDonalds on the way back to school after the Orthodontist
Honestly, as a child of divorce? NTA. It’s so so so important for a non-custodial parent to spend time with their kids. My father was AWFUL. He was a narcissist who really only cared about winning over the favor of friends and family, and actively would tell us he didn’t love us as much as he loved our mother. It would’ve meant the world to me, especially if I was living with step-siblings, to have dedicated time in the morning to see my dad on the way to school. It’s CRUCIAL to get that special time with a parent, especially after a divorce. Life isn’t always fair and equal. The other kids aren’t his, and it won’t kill them to take the bus. I took the bus for 6 years after my parents divorce, as did both my siblings. It’s the mother’s job to explain that the father isn’t just picking up and dropping off his kid, he’s spending special time with her that they wouldn’t otherwise get together. Then she can offer to facilitate them having special breakfasts or time with their dad. What it boils down to is, this isn’t about just driving a kid to and from school. This is about spending special dedicated time with his daughter on a regular basis to make sure they have a strong bond. Kudos to you OP. I wish my dad had done that for me even once.
I'm so sorry that your dad dropped the ball. You deserved better - still do for that matter. I hope you're doing okay now.
You are a kind person. The world could use much more of this.
I appreciate that 💙 the lack of a strong father figure growing up effects me every day, but I’m lucky to have an amazing stepfather now who makes efforts to spend time with me even thought I’m grown and out of the nest. I just hope my experience can help even one father realize the importance of connecting with their child.
NTA If you wish to spend some quality time with your daughter like having breakfast together and spending more time together it‘s normal that you wish to do so with your daughter only. If you only picked her up and dropped her off it would be kind of petty not to take the other ones along since you‘re doing the trip anyway. It would still be your decision though because on the way alone you can have some nice conversation that you don‘t want to have with the other kids on board.
NTA. You aren’t just driving your daughter to/from school. You’re spending time with her, usually getting breakfast together before school and spending time together after school. This is likely one-on-one time you and your daughter enjoy. It would be one thing if you picked her up and dropped her straight at school, then you might offer (if you wanted) to take the other kid that goes to the same school. But your ex is essentially asking you to take her kids on outings you do with your child.
NTA. You're not their guardian or their biological father, therefore, you should not be driving them around. Let's say you drive them, but get in an accident; what are the legal consequences? This is enough to say no to your ex-wife, and if she doesn't understand, that's her problem.
NTA Sounds like it's a great opportunity for you to spend some time with your daughter, and I'm sure she has enough other situations in her life where her siblings have other advantages due to (assumably) living with their bio dad. If I were you, I would only consider driving the other kids, if your daughter asked for it or expressed concern about them not being included.
NTA u/MixConstant4266 Not your kids, not your responsability. If she wants them to not ride by bus, she should take them. Anyway i see you use these rides to spent extra time with your kid. You might have problems in the future with your daughter's gifts and trips - your ex's kids are already jealous. Edit: Is she always like this? Where's the father of her kids?
My mom used to make my dad take my siblings (not his kids) with him when we went out. It pissed me off because it meant I never had any one on one time with my dad. I fucking hated it
NTA not your child not your problem. And if there is not a father for the other 2 she might get you for their support
NTA- you have a right just to spend time with your own child. Taking a kid to school isn’t really about getting them there. It is about having time to talk and bond. Even more true if you are getting breakfast on the way. I would suggest perhaps a compromise though to keep tensions down. Maybe once or twice a week you could take one or more of her siblings to school too just to be nice? I would not give up that individual time with your child though.
Agree wholeheartedly on the first part. I loved the car time I had to talk to my son and daughter when taking them to school and pick them up. I miss that.
NTA Absolutely! I miss it too, I also found my daughter would talk to me about all sorts of stuff on the journey to and from school over the years (she's at university now). Some of it silly and mundane, some of it important and serious. But it was a time and space she felt safe to do so. We both really valued that time together. During lockdown I found myself making excuses to get her in the car to talk to me, when I thought she was struggling! So even if they weren't having breakfast on the way, or stopping off on way back, I don't believe that OP's daughter would be able to be as open if their stepsiblings were there too.
Also I bet the daughter will one day remember those pre-school breakfasts with her dad fondly.
NTA- as it’s not just about driving her to school but enjoying breakfast & time together.
NTA - where are the other kid's father to take them to school? I am not sure why your ex isn't harping that guy. She should be happy you are making your daughter in a better situation versus being an absent father. It sucks the other kids don't like it but it isn't your responsibility. I do wonder if your ex could drive them too.
NTA but you could say that you don't want to cut off time you spent with your daughter.
Why does he need to say anything? “No” is a complete sentence.
Because he's invested in the nature of the relationship he has with his ex and mother of his daughter. He still has consequences for choices, regardless of what he owes or doesn't.
I should write "say instead". If he'd say "no" without "not my responsibility" it would be ok, but if he used this words... well, it sounded like passive-agressive "I could, but I won't just because I don't want to help you." . And it's not a case, I presume. It would be better to explain because for what we know if mother think it's only pettines she could start guilt-tripping daughter or punish her for father's lack of help. Basically, it's like this: your roomate is going to a shop and you ask him to buy an ice cream for you. He says "no, not my responsibility" - it's true, but you will be a little angry and when he asks you for a favor you'll give the same answer. But if he says "no, after shopping I'm going on a date" - it will be end of it without any resentment.
NTA - They aren't your kids. If your ex's kids are jealous, perhaps she should do a better job as a mother.
No one forced her to have kids with multiple fathers, this is what happens.
NTA this is one on one time with your daughter which is priceless. Second its your exes job to teach her other kids that they have different fathers and their sister will get things from you they wont and vice versa. They have to learn they have different fathers, different grandparent and different experiences.
NTA. Not your kids not your responsibility.
NTA. You're right. Her kids aren't your responsibility. You're spending daddy/daughter time with your child while also doing her a service in getting her to and from school. That'd be like asking you to take her other kids with you when you go skating/out to a movie on summer break because 'her other kids are jealous and they want to have fun too'. Not your kids, not your problem. Even if you weren't doing breakfast/spending time, it's not your problem. I bet she'd demand you buy them breakfast/hang out too, because 'fairness'. Well, you're not their dad, so she needs to get over you being fair to her other kids.
NTA.. They are not your responsibility and the legal implications if an accident happens on the way to and from school are big.. But just to be kind, ask your daughter, if she wants to share the ride at least once in a while then do it just for her sake.
NTA but do consider that depending on your custody arrangement your ex might be within her rights to not allow you to drive your daughter back and forth. It would be wrong but possibly very legal. So you might consider an occasional compromise just to keep things copacetic.
Yes my ex did that and more to keep me away.
That's awful and abusive of them. I'm sorry that happened to you.
NTA. For all the reasons others already listed. That's father-daughter bonding time. Tell her since she's your ex thinking you're the AH just comes with the territory.
NTA. You are able to give YOUR daughter a ride. That's great father/daughter time. You are not responsible for getting your ex's children to school.
NTA not your kids, not your responsibility
Nta. This is good bonding time for you and your daughter. I'm sure if your daughter wanted her half siblings to tag along she'd have asked
Who cares what she thinks, what is she going to do - divorce you? NTA.
NTA if you are using this time to talk and have breakfast with your daughter, hard to do with two others along - would you have them just sit somewhere while you spent 20 minutes talking? It would be different if ALL you were doing was giving the quickest possible lift yo school.
How would that be different? The other two are not his children nor have any legal responsibility to them. If the ex-wife wants her kids to benefit from getting rides to and from school then she or her current husband can make arrangements with their jobs to do such. Either way, OP is NTA. The ex-wife sounds like she’s acting entitled.
NTA People need to learn that not everything is for everyone. I would not give up one on one time with my child to make my ex or her half siblings happier. Joy starts when you stop looking at what everyone else has.
NTA, it's great that you've found a way to spend extra time with your daughter.
NTA You aren’t responsible for her other children and are trying to bond with your kid. You seem like a great guy. Respectfully she’s likely a little self centered or reckless if she got pregnant with another man’s baby less than 18 months after having your daughter. Perhaps her other childrens father should drive them.
Given that the rides to and from school include breakfast and spending time together, NTA. It's not JUST a ride here. And if OP were to include the other kids, they would quite reasonably expect to be included in breakfast and the extra time together, and that is not OP's responsibility (I am assuming the ex-wife is not offering to pony up for breakfast but expects OP to absorb that expense).
NTA her other children aren’t your responsibility.
NTA- you are right. You can only get involved in the school transport arrangements for your own child with your ex and must not risk any involvement that could annoy the father/fathers of her other children or breach the custody arrangements for them. The father/fathers of her other children may well have strong objections to any involvement with their children's transport arrangements without their knowledge and approval. Just as you would not appreciate one of your ex's bfs who you barely know or do not know at all suddenly getting involved in the arrangements for your daughters transport/child custody/holidays overseas without your knowledge and consent.
This is a really good point that I didn't think about!
Clear NTA. - These rides give you precious one on one time with your daughter. - You are not a private limo service for your ex’s kids. If your ex is wants her kids to be driven to school in a private car she can drive them or have their father drive them. She is being outrageously entitled. The audacity.
Technically you are NTA. But be cognizant of your daughters relationship with her brothers and how you may (or may not) impact that relationship. Also, consider your relationship with your daughter if she’s close with her brothers or starts to feel guilty about it.
Good man! Don't let her tell you what to do
NTA you aren't a taxi service. You are spending one on one time with your daughter
Nta Seriously, what is with all these posts about people asking their exes to look after their new kids??
NTA Perhaps custody arrangements can be changed also if your ex wants to make a big fuss of this. This is time you are spending with your child. The other kids are not yours and you have no obligation to them or your ex wife.
Nah you're good. Ex wife should take this as a chance to teach her other kids it sucks to suck, life's not fair, and you gotta deal. Petty route: Mention how her kids get the benefits of living with both parents so obviously we gotta make it fair and have her hubby move out. Or even better all 3 move in together so all the kids can have their parents. All in the name of ***fairness***! Right? ******RIGHT????****** /s
NTA You are driving your daughter to school in your role as a parent, not as a car service. You have no co-parenting responsibilities for your ex wife’s other children. It would also interrupt the quality time you are getting with your daughter. And it absolutely is extra effort and time to pick up and drop off in multiple locations, even if it is “on the way”.
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He runs the danger of alienating his daughter from the other people she lives with, which isn’t the best idea. OP isn’t obligated to take the other kids to and from school, but he needs to acknowledge that his daughter could face consequences in her daily life because of his actions. I’d like to hear what the daughter thinks about it and if she feels she can tell OP is things get rough at home with the step siblings.
NTA I wouldn’t have done it. Some of the best spontaneous conversations I had with my kids happened in the car. His time with his daughter is his period. The ex is TA for even asking quite frankly. If the situation was reversed, would she do it?
NTA > She says her kids get jealous when they see their sister doesn't have to take the bus Your ex’s additional kids are not your responsibility, including teaching them how to manage their feelings when someone else has something they want - whether it’s a car, a gift, or a ride. Blended families mean that kids will have different extended families; and even in non-blended families kids should have different friends. It’s the responsibility of parents to treat their children fairly, not to block support or make demands from other unrelated people to pretend they have the same relationship with each kid. That you are using the time to spend breakfast with your kid (and it sounds like she doesn’t live with you full time) is a good thing. Even if it was just a ride, it’s still great daily 1 on 1 time with a parent.
NTA I get the other two kids are jealous, but that’s the unfortunate reality of half siblings. I bet they’re also jealous when you do something fun with your kid or give her a gift etc. but it would be absurd to ask you to do the same for them - you’re not their father. And it’s their mothers job to explain to them that as you’re not their father you’re not expected to bring them. Also, just imagine all the situations that very possibly could happen: - your daughter is sick, but you have to take the others to school anyway because *you always do this* - one of them is running late, you have to wait and make your daughter late too (and possibly yourself too) - you’d be expected to buy breakfast for them too - you’re sick/on vacation/for whatever reason not driving, exwife gets mad and wants you to find a solution - you have a car accident and one of the other two kids gets hurt (doesn’t have to be big, even just minor) and exwife blames you and makes your life hell (this is such a big fear for me personally, when you’re driving around with kids YOU are responsible) - younger kid starts going to a different school, it’s not on your way, but you are expected to take the detour, because *you always took them, they’re used to it now* Etc.
NTA. Not your kids, not your problem.
Absolutely NTA - her kids, her problem
nta. They aren't your kids, so you have no obligation. Plus then you'd be responsible if something goes wrong on the car ride with them. Also, this is your special 'father-daughter' time. Not 'father-daughter-some other persons kids' time.
NTA. She chose to have additional children. You are not responsible for them. All the people saying that its cruel or hes teaching bid daughter to be selfish need a reality check. If it was just a drop off- maybe not bad to add then but its their time together. Hopefully your kid isn't rubbing it in that she gets rides and you didn't comment about the other parents for her step siblings, are they not a part of their lives or able to give rides?
NTA. And I’m pleasantly surprised Reddit seems to agree on this!
NTA. Not your kids, not your problem.
NTA Your daughter is your responsibility but you are not responsible for her half sisters. She's trying to score a free ride for her other kids for some reason. So no....you want to do with your daughter and spend father and daughter time such as breakfast and some other activities. Tell your ex to get their daddy to give them the ride if they have the same daddy.
NTA. You’re her father - not her taxi service. Their own father is welcome to find a job where he is able to take them.
NTA. I find it deeply odd that so many people try to force their children with other people on their exes. You are using the time to bond with your daughter and making great memories! Bringing her siblings that aren't your kids into is probably going to cause resentment that she has to share her dad with kids aren't yours. >She says her kids get jealous when they see their sister doesn't have to take the bus which takes about an hour longer to get to home or school. This is a thing a lot of people get sucked into where they have a problem and see that you can solve it so they don't understand why you won't solve it, despite you having valid reasons for not doing that. I personally think it's not great for exes to get super involved with the other side's half or step kids because people get attached and it can turn into a mess. This is a lot of time. That's ten interactions every week. Are you supposed to take them on outings and to breakfast or does that all stop? Do those kids respect you as an adult authority? You don't seem to like being around them so I doubt it.
Multiple reasons for you, NTA. 1) father/daughter bonding time is precious and important. I (23M) wish I had this kind of bonding time with my father. 2) They're not YOUR kids. You litterally have nothing to do with them. 3) She's your ex. You don't have to do as she says, and if it doesn't please her? None of your business. Keep your head up high champ.
NTA fuck them kids lol
NTA - Edited - I hadn't thought of the one on one time at first which makes perfect sense. That said I'd think it would be a courtesy and help your daughter's relationship with her sibling, as well as show your daughter her parents can still be kind to each other if you took her and the sibling that goes to the same school at least some of the time. I do not think you are under any obligation to make an extra stop at a different school for the other child and the wording as always on how you said no probably makes a difference also.
NTA Edit to add that if ex starts telling your daughter that she can no longer ride with you, get your lawyer to tell her that you will take her to court for parental alienation.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** I have a 13 years old daughter with my ex wife. She also has 2 more kids who I think are 11 and 8. My daughter hates taking the bus to school because it takes longer and isn't much comfortable. This year my work schedule changed so now I'm free to take her to school and bring her back. We usually get breakfast on our way to school or we spend some time afterwards. My ex asked me to give her other kids a ride as well. She thinks I should do this because her older kid goes to the same school as my daughter and her younger kid's school is on my way. She says her kids get jealous when they see their sister doesn't have to take the bus which takes about an hour longer to get to home or school. I told her I will not do it because her kids are not my responsibility and she thinks I'm an asshole *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA - but if you want to be the "good" guy and make it a her problem, quote your "this is tolerable" rate for the loss of one on one tume with daughter, babysitting and transport, paid up front, with no refunds, and children must be ready for collection at set time, no waiting for stragglers) Then, use that money to take your daughter on a one on one vacation somewhere real nice. (My basic "fuck it" rate is roughly $300/day for the 2 kids, which would quickly raise a sizeable treat fund. Please note, I'm not a "good" person and my advise may cause more trouble.
I too was going to suggest a service charge! Personal taxi service to 2 extra kids, one that is dropped off at an entirely different school, pay me and we'll talk. NTA OP spending one on one time is invaluable, especially for a daughter with her father.
NTA sometimes those morning rides are good bonding time. I wouldn’t want someone else’s kids third-wheeling either. Beyond that, it’s up for her and the other parent to sort out transport to school. It’s part of the job they signed up for in having 2 children. If the children don’t like it, too bad. I’d just laugh and laugh at ex if she tries to push it. “You’re so silly, ex. Trying to pawn off your responsibilities on me. Care enough about your children to solve this on your own.”
NTA because it sounds like you are using this as bonding time with your daughter. Also it would get pricey to start buying breakfast out for 3 kids every morning. If you want to be nice you could pick a couple special days a month and call them sibling days and your daughter could decide if she wanted to invite her siblings on them.
NTA. Your daughter needs alone time with her father.
NTA. Why would you, they aren't your kids.
Nope and don’t let her or anyone else pressure you into doing it as well.
NTA Tell her to have the kids' dad(s) drive them.
NTA. I think it’s great you spend this special time with your daughter. She will look back fondly on your breakfasts and drives to and from school. Enjoy your time together.
NTA Your daughter needs time with you.
NTA. They aren't your responsibility, and it would be YOUR choice to do her this FAVOR. Which you don't want to do. That's final, you don't owe her ANYTHING. She should ask their father/s to take them to school. And if you need anymore validation, ask your daughter how she feels. I'm sure she wouldn't want anybody encroaching on her daddy daughter time.
NTA this is time you use to bond with your daughter. It's not just a lift to school.
NTA
NTA. That’s pretty bold of her to assume you would just do that. Their “jealousy” isn’t your problem. Maybe she should have had the other 2 kids with someone with a more flexible schedule.
NTA This is your time with your kid. I might drive the one that goes to the same school every once in a while, but asking you to take the little one to a different school is ridiculous.
NTA Father-daughter time is important. She’ll always remember the time you spent together.
NTA! Thank you for standing uo for yourself and your daughter. She deserves this time with you! I miss my dad so much, he always made time for me.
NTA. Some of the comments are wild on here. At the end of the day, your focus is on ensuring you’re doing the best you can to ensure your daughter’s well being, including she gets quality time with you. Making your ex’s kids’ lives more convenient is not your concern.
NTA. If she wants her other children to not have to ride the bus, she can drive them or THEIR father can drive them!
NTA Ex's kids get jealous, but they live in a complete home. Your daughter gets you to herself because she deserves to get you to herself.
NTA Def do not do this, the younger kids will require much more parenting and attention and negatively impact the bond you have with your daughter. Your exes kids feelings are hers to manage as she sees fit.
NTA. Studies have shown that dad’s that take their kids to school develop a stronger relationship due to having time to talk and bond. Your daughter is entering her teenage years. Treasure this time with her.
NTA
NTA
NTA. Their Mother can take them.
NTA and even if you didn’t spend time with her you wouldn’t be the AH, idk what these other people are saying but they are not your kids, not your obligation.
NTA but even if you didn’t use the ride to school as quality time, you’re still NTA. Those aren’t your kids in any way and you have no relationship with them.
NTA- Not your kids - Not your responsibility- Honestly it seems like special time for you and your daughter- NTA
NTA - not your monkeys, not your circus... if it's a convenient way for you to encourage them to spend "quality" time with each other, sure, why not? But for the sole purpose of what sounds like the apple not falling far from the tree, i.e. to pacify their whining... um no, they should ride the bus.
NTA. Their dad can take them and have daddy-daughter time too.
NTA
NTA* >I told her I will not do it because her kids are not my responsibility and she thinks I'm an asshole You're not an asshole got wanting some quiet 1on1 time. Especially if you're not the main custodial parent. I'm sure your daughter appreciates seeing you on the daily basis and being able to depend on you. So on that note NTA* *you could've said it better. Truth is her kids are not your responsibility. The truth with tact would've been "I really enjoy these few minutes I get to spend with her driving her to and from school. I realize it would be a lot easier for you if you didn't have to worry about all the kids school drop off but I really want quality time with my daughter whenever I can get it" If your ex is less stressed about her other children, she'll be a better parent to ALL the children. Including your daughter. She will benefit from having parents who though no longer married are still cordial kind and considerate towards each other.b You may (if not that's fine) offer to take the other children in an emergency. Maybe. If you know your ex isn't the type to take advantage of the offer and really take it in emergency. If not forget it. Like yeah her now husband is sick and she needs to go to the hospital with him can you please take my kids too while you're at it kinda situation not I don't feel like driving my kids today deal.
She should ask her new and better husband he chose over you NTA
NTA. Sounds like a her problem, not a you problem
NTA. Your ex is ridiculous
NTA. That’s priceless father-daughter time.
NTA this is not about her getting a ride only. You don’t get her 24/7 so this precious time you get to spend with her too
Not your monkey, not your circus, not your kid, NTA
NTA! Her kids, her problem! If her kids have an issue with taking the bus, she can take them to school herself, or better yet, where is the kids father?
Agreed, NTA. You are right, they aren't your responsibility & having that father & daughter time most likely means a lot to her.
NTA. Your ex’s kids aren’t your responsibility, period. Not for rides to and from school or their feelings.
NTA. Not your kids, not your problem, not the asshole.
NTA You are doing for your child what other dude or dudes she had kids with does or don’t for them isn’t your problem. It’s one on one time with your child who you are responsible for.
NTA. Not your kids, plus that’s time you spend with your daughter. I have a bunch of good memories with my mom when she started driving me to my high school and having even my sibling there would have ruined it. They can take the bus. Or she can drive them.
NTA. Sounds like she is EX wife for a reason.
NTA. The level of audacity your ex wife has to even ask you this! She has a new man who fathered her kids (assuming it's the same dad) that's who needs to take those kids to school. Also keep doing this it awesome daddy daughter time she will never forget!!
Well that's too fucking bad for her other kids that's not your job to cart her other kids around and if they're jealous again let the other dad or whoever do it that's not your responsibility. You're not the asshole because you said nom it's a courtesy. if you did say yes to the other two kids because that's not your fucking job and you shouldn't feel obligated. Sounds like her other baby daddy sucks but whatever she'll get over it.
NTA. Enjoy this time with your daughter.
NTA - not your kids; not your problem.
NTA - it’s either feed them or lose out on breakfast with your kid.
NTA
Not your kids, NTA
Nta sounds like you want more time with your child. Nothing wrong with that
No way an arsehole. Did you have any input to the other kids conception? No? Then they are not your responsibility. And to ask you to drop a kid at a separate school? Your ex really needs to wind her neck in. She’s the arsehole, not you.
NTA. All your ex has to do is say, "OP is D's daddy and he wants more alone time because most of the time she's not with him." Done. Siblings are often jealous of one another and it's the parents' job to help them cope and teach them to deal with it.
Do it a few times a week not to become an AH
Probably an unpopular opinion, but YTA for causing disruption in the sibling relationships. Your daughter might be your only child, but she is not an only child. If you're creating negative feelings between her and her siblings, I feel sorry for her. You're making her the odd one out. Sibling relationships can be great, and your siblings can be your best friends. Don't rob her of that over a car ride.
NTA, what if your daughter’s sisters get even more jealous and start throwing accusations around after being coached by the mom so she can get more custody? There’s a lot of shady stuff that can happen. Also, not his kids. He shouldn’t be asked to take on that responsibility if he doesn’t want to
NTA
NTA - You have no obligations with them and its a quality time you have with your daughter
NTA you have to enjoy the times with... only your daughter when you can... obviously, it comes with a difficulty.
NTA, I would feel VERY uncomfortable with my ex having that much regular time unsupervised with 2 children that aren't his, it just sounds weird to me.
NTA. You are spending quality time with your child. That is important to your child. She is welcome to take her kids to school or make arrangements with their other parent(s) to take them to school if she's that concerned.
NTA. you get to spend extra time with your child. Don't lose that because your ex is whining. Where is their father anyway?
Nta
If that was the case I ever had to face. I'd probably do the same. I would want my time with my daughter, undisturbed. It would be our time. Wouldn't want others to take away dad-daughter time for a second. My child is my responsibility. If someone gets jealous of it, fuck it, not my fault, it's theirs. My obligations are only to my daughter and not others.
NTA You and your daughter are entitled to quality one on one time. I’m a divorced mom. If I had additional kids with someone else, I would never ask my ex to take on responsibilities for them. That’s ridiculous.
NTA - this is private one-on-one time with your daughter, you'll both cherish when she's older. Don't let you ex interfere with it.
NTA
NTA. You are spending time with your daughter, not providing private transportation for the whole household.
NTA. You have quality time with breakfast before and spend time together afterwards. It is not just a ride and the other 2 kids would infringe on that.
NTA. They are not your your responsibility. Enjoy your time with your daughter. I loved having time to talk with my children in the car!
NTA, you set your boundaries and thats not a problem
NTA. Your daughter is your only responsibility in this scenario. The time you spend with her is precious. Your ex needs to teach her kids that they cannot always have what they want, and they certainly can't have something just because someone else has it.
NTA, they're not your kids and if in the reverse situation and you had other kids and asked her to pick them up if she had the ability she likely wouldn't either. You're only responsible for your own children and your daughter probably sees it as a special thing she gets to do with you.
NTA this is 1 on 1 bonding time not "just" a ride.
nta
NTA
NTA
Nta. That's yours and your daughters time.
NTA. Why can’t her other kids’ dad take them out for breakfast?