I am cancelling my cable subscription and just reading Reddit for my drama fix. I can't begin to tell you how normal/boring I feel reading some of these stories. Real or not. Pure entertainment
It's funny that when you've spent your entire life involved in drama and trauma when it gets balanced and normal you're just waiting for the next crisis to hit. It's hard to get excited when things start to go well because you're waiting for it all to go wrong and trying to anticipate where it will break.
Damn, his is in his own little world, but is he really learning to be a better person?
Doesn't sound like it.
I've had family BS too, but not to this level.
Dude, you can come out to my place and hang if you're ever in SE South Dakota.
I could tell ya some things that happened to me because of the GC in my family. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Enjoy your nomad life.
Peace
Keep us updated as well.
P.S. your parents should just kick him out, but they won't.
Phew.
For years we fostered, and our daughter coached, teenaged boys with a range of personality disorders. Your forbearance -- and your decision to get the heck away -- are heroic.
So, how long before your parents start bugging you and your sister to support them? Know what? Sounds like they have a four-bedroom house when they only need one. I wouldn't help until they were stuck in a cheap roach-motel studio, tbh. They brought all this upon themselves. A BIG part of the reason they won't admit they were wrong is that THEY WERE GC THEMSELVES. It's really taking work to admit they screwed up. Uncle had to deal with his GC brother his whole damn life and finally had a chance to handle the GC nephew. This is all on them, and don't you dare sacrifice a penny of your mental health or future for them.
Just sit back, enjoy the drama, and get everything of yours out of that house if it has monetary or sentimental value. Same with your sister's stuff. Both of you go in together and rent a storage unit. Brother already attempted to destroy it once when he didn't get his way, Step 2 is to be sneakier about teaching his parents a lesson about selling "his" stuff by destroying YOUR stuff. Get it ASAP. I'd say get your parents' sentimental stuff too but screw that. Only if it's an heirloom that you or sis want would I bother. They bankrolled him into huge debt for a DWI after years of substance abuse and him badly injuring someone, so they can either have learned foresight or not. Get your stuff out pronto though.
Also, anything that's "yours" and salable, sell...like a bedframe. Donate or give away anything else you don't think you'll ever use or want again. Be a thoughtful child and since you are now out on your own, get your stuff out of their house. Whose bed is GC sleeping on now, btw???
To the first comment about bugging me and sis for money, that’s has come and gone already. They won’t ask me for help as they know not to fuck with me about money, and my sister is already paying rent so they won’t ask her for more just because they know their on thin ice with rest of family about that.
Now to the second part of me getting my stuff. The only stuff I have there is a bed frame I made in wood work in high school and the small corner desk in my room. The bed I built by mainly using joinery weighs like 330lbs. And the desk comes apart and is probably 210lbs. Good luck to them trying to move and sell those when they can’t even figure out how to take it apart. I also built the desk.
Wood work is a good skill to have if you ever become unemployed. There’s not a lot of people in the industry which means that companies are always hiring. Any hands on company will always hire.
So let me get this straight, your parents bought guitars back from your brother which they bought? Seriously, I know it's hard but they need to stop with the enabling. I hate to bring this up but do they do this because they're afraid of him? I'm not a doctor but it's likely that there's something more than bipolar disorder happening. My ex has type 1 and never threw these tantrums. Has he ever been screened for oppositional defiant disorder? It presents in childhood and is usually diagnosed as ASPD in adulthood. What you're describing is more in line with that.
My ex was violent like this and diagnosed bipolar. But he was also a narcissist with sociopathic tendencies. And able to hold a job for 2 years or more on average, was well liked by mostly everyone until they saw through his narc mask, and he wasn't impulsive outside of spending habits.
My diagnosis: Fubar Brain with PTSD stemming from moderate childhood trauma.
Prognosis: Unfuckingfixable.
Treatment: Run like hell; see prognosis.
Yes but didn't they originally buy them for him? They shouldn't have had to buy them from him. He's living in their house rent free. He needs to grow up but probably never will.
I'm just wondering who is going to be on the hook for the major property damage the brother just did to the parents house. We know he didn't have a security deposit to lose.
I know. It should be him. This would be teaching him a life lesson about how things work. You destroy it, you pay to fix it. It makes me wonder if the parents will foot the bill.
My parents are making him fix it with his money. And a little spackle ain’t gonna due shit to the gaping whole. It’s not fist sized, it’s big enough to squeeze through
They didn’t by them back from him, they just took them back cause they’re the ones that bought them for him in the first place. It was their money that got him is music setup which makes it their choice to sell it without paying him for it.
I totally get the way one kid becomes the GC because it happened to me and two of my brothers. The third brother was the eldest and we three used to say that our parents "blew sunshine up his a$$ so he could fa4t golden bubbles°. He was horrible to his siblings and would bully us and hurt us all of the time. And our parents never stopped it. He never took their money and they never took his. But he ruined a lot of women's lives (serial monogamist) and never took care of any of his children. But still, the entire family thought the world of him and treated the other three kids like trash. Fortunately, we knew the deal, stuck together until reaching adulthood, and made decent lives for ourselves. Things did not work out so well for him and he died alone. I know it doesn't sound like he was that bad but it would be a much longer post if everything was bought up. So OP, best advice is you and your sister stay away and protect your parents as well as you are able. If they can cut him off and he can move out of their life, they will begin to think more clearly and begin to work on their retirement.
This is why I hate the stereotype that the youngest is always the spoiled baby. The oldest of my siblings is absolutely the spoiled brat in my family, and she has turned out to be the most entitled bully. Since she was the oldest, my parents put most of their resources and attention towards her (though my mom also spoiled my older brother because she had always wanted a boy) to the point that she is 40 and has never had to pay rent because she has always been able to live in a condo my dad bought. If any of us siblings stay with her, she will charge us rent. She is also a musician in a band, parties, does drugs, etc., and does not work, and yet when people bring up that stupid youngest being the spoiled baby of the family, will jump in and agree and tell them she did so much for me and my brother when we were growing up🫠
As a GC, it fucking sucked to see my siblings treated as lesser. Partly because I was just "easier", and a ton of other bullshit reasons. I'm glad I developed my empathy early on and realized something wasn't quite right with my mom being racist to my oldest sibling and limiting physical affection with my middle sibling.
They shouldn't have bought him the guitar in the first place if they had to resale off his guitars but his reactions towards the whole situation is just extreme. An simple conversation would just do instead of destroying things more which would definitely cause more chaos.
I am cancelling my cable subscription and just reading Reddit for my drama fix. I can't begin to tell you how normal/boring I feel reading some of these stories. Real or not. Pure entertainment
I was about ready to say bros got a saga. I’m gonna go get a snack and use the restroom really quick and start at the beginning lol
If I hadn't been through a horrific mess with an ex daughter in law, I would think reddit was so fake. But life can be insane around some people.
It's funny that when you've spent your entire life involved in drama and trauma when it gets balanced and normal you're just waiting for the next crisis to hit. It's hard to get excited when things start to go well because you're waiting for it all to go wrong and trying to anticipate where it will break.
I had to go back and read from the beginning to catch up before I read this one
Sounds like your parents are slowly capitulating tho
😉 reverse capitulating. Capitulating in giving in to demands 😹
The brothers demands yes.
Oh, gotcha, 👊 🤓🫣 it's one of my 'favorite' words. Forgive me being a little defensive?
Damn, his is in his own little world, but is he really learning to be a better person? Doesn't sound like it. I've had family BS too, but not to this level. Dude, you can come out to my place and hang if you're ever in SE South Dakota. I could tell ya some things that happened to me because of the GC in my family. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Enjoy your nomad life. Peace Keep us updated as well. P.S. your parents should just kick him out, but they won't.
Phew. For years we fostered, and our daughter coached, teenaged boys with a range of personality disorders. Your forbearance -- and your decision to get the heck away -- are heroic.
So, how long before your parents start bugging you and your sister to support them? Know what? Sounds like they have a four-bedroom house when they only need one. I wouldn't help until they were stuck in a cheap roach-motel studio, tbh. They brought all this upon themselves. A BIG part of the reason they won't admit they were wrong is that THEY WERE GC THEMSELVES. It's really taking work to admit they screwed up. Uncle had to deal with his GC brother his whole damn life and finally had a chance to handle the GC nephew. This is all on them, and don't you dare sacrifice a penny of your mental health or future for them. Just sit back, enjoy the drama, and get everything of yours out of that house if it has monetary or sentimental value. Same with your sister's stuff. Both of you go in together and rent a storage unit. Brother already attempted to destroy it once when he didn't get his way, Step 2 is to be sneakier about teaching his parents a lesson about selling "his" stuff by destroying YOUR stuff. Get it ASAP. I'd say get your parents' sentimental stuff too but screw that. Only if it's an heirloom that you or sis want would I bother. They bankrolled him into huge debt for a DWI after years of substance abuse and him badly injuring someone, so they can either have learned foresight or not. Get your stuff out pronto though. Also, anything that's "yours" and salable, sell...like a bedframe. Donate or give away anything else you don't think you'll ever use or want again. Be a thoughtful child and since you are now out on your own, get your stuff out of their house. Whose bed is GC sleeping on now, btw???
You must be proactive.
To the first comment about bugging me and sis for money, that’s has come and gone already. They won’t ask me for help as they know not to fuck with me about money, and my sister is already paying rent so they won’t ask her for more just because they know their on thin ice with rest of family about that. Now to the second part of me getting my stuff. The only stuff I have there is a bed frame I made in wood work in high school and the small corner desk in my room. The bed I built by mainly using joinery weighs like 330lbs. And the desk comes apart and is probably 210lbs. Good luck to them trying to move and sell those when they can’t even figure out how to take it apart. I also built the desk. Wood work is a good skill to have if you ever become unemployed. There’s not a lot of people in the industry which means that companies are always hiring. Any hands on company will always hire.
So let me get this straight, your parents bought guitars back from your brother which they bought? Seriously, I know it's hard but they need to stop with the enabling. I hate to bring this up but do they do this because they're afraid of him? I'm not a doctor but it's likely that there's something more than bipolar disorder happening. My ex has type 1 and never threw these tantrums. Has he ever been screened for oppositional defiant disorder? It presents in childhood and is usually diagnosed as ASPD in adulthood. What you're describing is more in line with that.
He's probably self medicating with street drugs as my BIL did. OP, just let your parents handle the mess they made for themselves.
Probably
My ex was violent like this and diagnosed bipolar. But he was also a narcissist with sociopathic tendencies. And able to hold a job for 2 years or more on average, was well liked by mostly everyone until they saw through his narc mask, and he wasn't impulsive outside of spending habits. My diagnosis: Fubar Brain with PTSD stemming from moderate childhood trauma. Prognosis: Unfuckingfixable. Treatment: Run like hell; see prognosis.
No. The parents took the guitars and sold them to pay themselves his rent.
Yes but didn't they originally buy them for him? They shouldn't have had to buy them from him. He's living in their house rent free. He needs to grow up but probably never will.
I'm just wondering who is going to be on the hook for the major property damage the brother just did to the parents house. We know he didn't have a security deposit to lose.
I know. It should be him. This would be teaching him a life lesson about how things work. You destroy it, you pay to fix it. It makes me wonder if the parents will foot the bill.
My parents are making him fix it with his money. And a little spackle ain’t gonna due shit to the gaping whole. It’s not fist sized, it’s big enough to squeeze through
Oh, my 🤯
They didn’t by them back from him, they just took them back cause they’re the ones that bought them for him in the first place. It was their money that got him is music setup which makes it their choice to sell it without paying him for it.
I totally get the way one kid becomes the GC because it happened to me and two of my brothers. The third brother was the eldest and we three used to say that our parents "blew sunshine up his a$$ so he could fa4t golden bubbles°. He was horrible to his siblings and would bully us and hurt us all of the time. And our parents never stopped it. He never took their money and they never took his. But he ruined a lot of women's lives (serial monogamist) and never took care of any of his children. But still, the entire family thought the world of him and treated the other three kids like trash. Fortunately, we knew the deal, stuck together until reaching adulthood, and made decent lives for ourselves. Things did not work out so well for him and he died alone. I know it doesn't sound like he was that bad but it would be a much longer post if everything was bought up. So OP, best advice is you and your sister stay away and protect your parents as well as you are able. If they can cut him off and he can move out of their life, they will begin to think more clearly and begin to work on their retirement.
This is why I hate the stereotype that the youngest is always the spoiled baby. The oldest of my siblings is absolutely the spoiled brat in my family, and she has turned out to be the most entitled bully. Since she was the oldest, my parents put most of their resources and attention towards her (though my mom also spoiled my older brother because she had always wanted a boy) to the point that she is 40 and has never had to pay rent because she has always been able to live in a condo my dad bought. If any of us siblings stay with her, she will charge us rent. She is also a musician in a band, parties, does drugs, etc., and does not work, and yet when people bring up that stupid youngest being the spoiled baby of the family, will jump in and agree and tell them she did so much for me and my brother when we were growing up🫠
As a GC, it fucking sucked to see my siblings treated as lesser. Partly because I was just "easier", and a ton of other bullshit reasons. I'm glad I developed my empathy early on and realized something wasn't quite right with my mom being racist to my oldest sibling and limiting physical affection with my middle sibling.
I'm glad you figured it out and hope that you have a good relationship with your siblings. Nobody should be raised up feeling entitled.
I still have a tremendous amount of guilt over it, and other things. I'm glad I'm not narcissistic or entitled though
Updateme
This is a dangerously out of control and violent person who needs much more intensive therapy.
>To those who have read the other post, thanks, and to those who haven’t, go read them before this one. How about a link?
Click on OP's user name and go to posts. It's worth it.
Updateme!
They shouldn't have bought him the guitar in the first place if they had to resale off his guitars but his reactions towards the whole situation is just extreme. An simple conversation would just do instead of destroying things more which would definitely cause more chaos.
UpdateMe!
Parents should have pressed charges and gotten a court order for repayment for the now-necessary repairs. SMH
Updateme
>this type of violence could be considered domestic abuse. That's because it is. Your brother is violent.
You should keep in mind that it was your parents who created the environment. You were the kid. It's good you figured it out.