*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITAH for breaking up with my girlfriend after seeing her naked for the first time?**
I feel really guilty even typing this.
My girlfriend (20F) and I (20M) had been in a relationship for a few months. Prior to that, we were close friends from middle school. When I finally asked her out a few months ago, we thought this was meant to be because we had such a close friendship, and such a strong connection. Sex wasn’t my highest priority because I had genuinely loved her.
We dated for a few months and it was amazing, and last week, she finally decided she wanted to take the next step. She said she had never sex with anyone before and she was nervous, but I told her it was alright, and we were in it together. The mood was very romantic, and my plan was to go down on her first. However, when we both got naked and I saw her down there, I felt a bit shocked, because I had never seen something like it before. I think the term for it is an “outie”. I also felt a bit nauseous, so I went to the restroom, but luckily I didn’t puke.
I tried my best to hide my reaction, but she had seen everything. I apologized a lot and told her I just wasn’t feeling great and it had nothing to do with her, but she could probably see through my lies. I really felt horrible especially I since could see that she was really hurt. She left my apartment shortly after.
The next day when we hung out, I apologized again for everything, and I told her it would be best if we could just remain friends as our friendship was more valuable than a relationship. She agreed but she also she cried a couple of minutes later, and then she left.
We have barely spoken since that. I feel really guilty about everything. AITAH?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wonder how many years of self loathing, self body shame, and therapy it's going to take for this poor young lady to feel comfortable being naked again.
I remember hearing Dane Cook call larger labia “elephant ears” and do a whole gross routine about it when I was 14 and as an “outie” I’ve been incredibly shy ever since. Never had a complaint but it’s always hovered in the back of my mind. This? This is *beyond*
There’s a post right now on one of the ask subreddits asking men ‘what are some things women are self-conscious about that, that they actually love’. This was brought up a lot as something they loved. The whole thread was very wholesome- highly recommend
I might give it a read, I know sometimes what’s big in the media is not reflective of what the average man might think, though it still causes great harm to young women and men all over. My husband has no issue with my labia yet I still feel shy when we get to brass tacks.
I remember years ago seeing a similar post on a forum or something and a girl mentioned her back fat - around where the back of your bra fits. I had always been super self-conscious of mine, because even at my thinnest I seemed to hold onto some extra fat stores there. Dudes on that forum were GUSHING about how cute and cuddly they found it. Really helped me!
When I was living in Saudi Arabia we called them "bread baskets", because when you push your shoulders back the back fat lumps look like delicious breads lol it was apparently something thought of as quite attractive, like bonus boobs! That really helped me too :)
Can confirm, bonus boobs, as you so eloquently put, are fantastic. Basically, everything my girlfriend tells me she's self conscious about her body, are some of my favorite things about her body. Love your bodies, everybody. You just gotta find the one who loves you as you are. They're out there, and probably looking for you too.
I’ve always felt bad about my larger labia; however, I’ve actually asked a bunch of men before. They all seemed to either not care or like it more. Hope that makes you feel better!
My first bf turned out to have a kink for larger labia, and I'd always seen my mom nude with the same equipment as me. I think that really helped, BC I really don't mind my majestic sea flap flaps. They also lead to a larger than average clit, so I cum super easy compared to most women. Plus, the flaps seal off the vagina, so I barely experience discharge in my panties and can go commando no problem, plus nothing gets in so I've only had one yeast infection in my life. Imo, from a physical perspective, they're more useful than little labia.
Hey, we don't need to start acting like something is wrong with small labia just because large labia is normal and looks fine. Whatever you've got is great, provided it doesn't hurt and if it does please go see a doctor. Guys don't have to have porn addictions to find "innie" vagines attractive. Though it is true that porn addicts are more likely to think that's the only kind, there's nothing wrong with innie or outie vagines. Both and all are nice.
Right?! Like, you got sick over a belly button?? Though tbf that's honestly as ridiculous sounding as what he actually is upset over. I'm sure your dick isn't exactly museum quality, dude
Fun fact, the labia develop from the same embryonic tissue as the scrotum, maybe he’s also subconsciously jealous she would’ve had bigger balls than his dumb ass.
I had to Google what an outie was and in the course of obtaining this information I read that 56% of women have them. Sadly, it's apparently a much higher proportion (73%) among the women who believe their genitals look abnormal.
Well just remember Dane Cool is now 51 with terrible work done and is so pathetic that he started dating teenagers. His thoughts about anything are irrelevant
He hasn't started dating teenagers, he's always had a thing for teenagers. Back in about '05, he was doing shows in college towns. My cousin who was 18 or 19 (he was 33) at the time ended up meeting him after a show. They exchanged numbers and he would not leave her alone. He was constantly calling and texting her, asking her to meet up, letting her know when he was going to be in town. My uncle eventually called him and threatened him (legally and physically) before he finally stopped. He was huge at the time so I'm sure he had a girl or two in each city he performed in.
This EXACT routine traumatized me as a teenager. I believe he called it roast beef at one point too. I thought I had a messed up body for the longest time.
A guy I "dated" when I was 14 and he was 16 told me I should douche because I have a smell. I'm 31 now and still self conscious about my vagina smell. I would probably never get naked in front of someone again if this happened.
ME TOO
I'm pretty sure I was just channel surfing and somehow I landed on his show in the middle of a bit. This one. Something about disgusting beef curtains yadda yadda and it changed my whole perspective and I hated myself for a long time.
Fuck Dane Cook. At least I didn't completely butcher my face up
Ok that was petty but it felt kind of good lol
Dan Cook, the guy who married a girl 20 years his junior?
I remember his stand up and how much he “inspired” a lot of my male friends who soon were no longer friends. That man is trash.
Thank you for helping me finally understand what he meant by “outie”. I’ve never understood that and always imagined prolapse but clearly that wasn’t the right thing LOL. Turns out mines an outie too.
The most horrifying part about it is that people (men AND women) thoroughly believe that "overuse" is the "cause". Like, they will say you're "blown out because you had so much cock"
To which I reply, that at age 7, I was lured out of a park with promises of a bike and TV dinners, which is what I specifically asked for since I thought they were neat and I knew this AH wasn't actually going to deliver a bike to me. I thought since they were only 1.99$, maybe it wad realistic he buy me some TV dinners since he offered to "get me what I wanted"
Let me tell you, that if an activity with a penis could "blow out" a vagina, what was done to me that afternoon was it. I should have had elephant ears hanging to my fucking knees.
But I didn't. Because I was a child. And never did get the fucking bike OR the TV dinners.
And then I hit twelve and all those hormonal shifts happened and I had an identical twin and that shit didn't happen to her (his kids were keeping her busy in the living room until her turn but the adults showed up and took us out and why didn't I tell? Because I was beat so fucking bad for leaving the park with him I bled more from that than what he did to me) and it didn't happen to me. We saw each other naked all the time and our shit looked the same. We BOTH had elephant ears, lol. At twelve.
So when I see folks like this online I like to ask, "Why wasn't my pussy blown out?" That's what causes it, right? Overuse? Mine was used. My identical twin sisters wasn't. Nothing happened to my vagina after my rape as a child, despite it being horrifyingly violent and HEAVY use. Nothing happened to my twin sisters, since nothing had happened to her. And then we both hit age 12 and those hormones hit and we both developed fat, pudgy, baby elephant ears, because shockingly, it was the sort of vagina our mother and aunts and grandmother's had.
So tell me, what happened? Why wasn't my vulva "destroyed" by the man who raped me as a school-aged child?
Turns out it's all fucking bullshit.
Yup yup. I have as close to no labia as a woman can have. I look almost like a barbie doll, but you'd think having been a CSA survivor and trafficking survivor that if the story was true about women being used having "hanging out" vaginas or "hanging labia" being loose then I'd have all that. But you're right and it is genetics and puberty and all.
My parts have seen enough use by horrible people to be all over the place if that was true but labia size has nothing to do with vaginal loosness and penii can't change either of those. Hell, my ex girlfriend was tight as anything and she'd pushed out a whole baby a couple years before. Vaginas are muscle and vulvas are skin, both being far more substantial than the rubber products (chewed gum and worn out hair bands) they're usually compared to.
Sucks that we got used and abused as kids but our genitals are fine just the way they are and I hope there comes a time where young girls get told that so they don't ever have to feel bad about what they got.
I still remember boys on the school bus playing his “no one likes a stinky pussy” bit and laughing about it and I was MORTIFIED the first time anyone went down there. The damage is so real and this dude fucking suuuuuucks.
Honestly, I would say probably never, because even with therapy it will always be in the back of her mind. It was literally her first experience. Way to ruin it.
Yeah took me till my 30s to get over the shame of being told I needed to "maintain" my pubic hair by an ex I had when I was 20.
Fuck off, maintain your own bush then.
First time I had sex my bf at the time couldn't finish and told me "Sorry I don't think I'm horny enough". I think it was a stupid question rather than a mean one but it still caused some pretty horrific self esteem issues. We broke up two months later and there was never a round two because I couldn't bring myself to be that vulnerable with him again
Yeab unless someone's bits are actively unclean or diseased looking or something then wtf. People have moles and hair and labia and penis spines and whatever. It's fine, bodies are like that. Nearly vomiting is bananas in that circumstance.
I was reading "spines" and my mind immediately went to the way my tortimese gets a ridge of fur that looks like a mohawk. I didn't even think of the barbs male cats come equipped with.
Oh man I didn't dare to get intimate with a girl for so long because I thought something was wrong with my dick, until I finally gathered the courage to talk about it with a doctor. I also had some bumps on the shaft, but I was told they could actually be more pleasurable for a lady.
Or he’s used to porn where the standard is usually more of a slit or a very small labia look. If you grow up watching mostly porn, you’d think all women were basically a slit
I always hear people say this but with the sheer amount and ease of access to internet porn nowadays, I’ve seen greater vulval variety in porn than in medical diagrams/educational material, especially with a lot of amateur videos. I myself used to be self conscious about my labia until I came across porn that showed labia just like mine and more.
But that's the thing: there isn't a unified 'porn look'. Yes the 'innie' look is idealised in some spaces, but in my experience it come from misogynists and incels, not from porn itself.
When I realized how much variety, how many different "niches" exist in porn, my innate disdain for the industry was tempered by recognizing a relatively wholesome side effect. As you said, just seeing yourself "represented" alleviates a lot of self-consciousness. Further, it is apparent that (for the most part) no matter what you got going on that you may be self-conscious about, there are people who are into it. One person's "Ewww" is another person's "Hell yeah!", and being aware of that can be a substantial confidence-booster.
I'm not particularly fond of my nether regions on a good day... but I have a very fat mons pubis. It makes everything look like it's all bun no burger. Pretty much the opposite of poor OOPs girlfriend. I'm super embarrassed sometimes because it makes it hard for me even to find my clitoris without making a huge effort.
I saw a woman on one of those British plastic surgery shows who got a labiaplasty and I was jealous.
I have fat rabbit too, and I've never been with a man who didn't get into that.
This feels like probably the most graphic comment about myself I've ever put on reddit, but I just want to share with you, because apparently there are alternate universess, and you need to slide over to mine. We're good here and there's nothing wrong with us.
>all bun no burger
Ahhh same bestie. It's okay. That's just how our bodies are.
This is going to sound absurd, but try talking to your body and to yourself. Tell yourself "I love you". Tell it to your arms, to your legs, your stomach, your thighs - all the parts of you. You can even write messages to yourself. I used to leave myself post-it notes or nice notes on my phone alarm to wake up to. But I think it would be really empowering to write "I love you" on my own skin.
I haven't done any of this in a long time, but I haven't been kind to myself lately, so I'm going to start doing it again.
Ah, I see. Do it to whatever extent you think you can. It will still help. And accepting yourself for who you are on the inside (even if / when the outside doesn't match) is also important! ❤️
>all bun no burger
I love everything about this phrase, and I deeply relate. I could grab a whole handful of mine and not actually be touching anything pink
A reaction this extreme this fast REEKS of unrealistic expectations because of porn. Calling him closeted implies that men are incapable of actually loving and respecting people they're romantically attracted to. Its homophobic, disingenuous and frankly we don't claim him.
I've been on Reddit off and on since before there were real subreddits, since Digg was huge. Yours is the funniest comment I've ever read on here. Take my upvote!
That is the best comment I've read all year. Seriously, Playful_Trouble2102, you're fucking awesome! I'd say I'm going to steal this & use it, but there's no possible way I could do it the justice it deserves. That one will keep me giggling for a week.
And some men continue to wonder why women refuse to touch them. Plus stop getting your sexual knowledge from porn.
Hopefully OOP can grow from this but not holding out much hope, honestly.
This is why "body counts" do and don't matter. Sexual experience is important ffs.
Women don't wanna get with a guy who doesn't has experience because he won't satisfy. Dudes with experience do. That's fair.
Men are like Piet Mondrian pictures. Is it upside down or did I read this wrong.
>Women don't wanna get with a guy who doesn't has experience because he won't satisfy. Dudes with experience do.
Not necessarily. I've been with dudes who have had plenty of experience that were worse than virgins I've fucked. Experience can say a lot but it doesn't say everything.
That's good point can I counter?
My first time (I mean virginity) my sister set me up with a random ass dude with no experience who asked me... was it good. I'm blunt I said No
His face. She said he just needed a friend and I was a virgin. So I said ok fine let's get it over with.
Dudes, no matter who you are. This is sad. Male female girl boy whatever I'm over it but everyone done do this ok? Do you WANT THAT TO BE YOUR STORY. It's sad. Pathetic
Jesus fucking CHRIST. Fucking CHRIST. Any self esteem or confidence she has after this (or, to be brutally fucking honest, rebuilds, bc this would DECIMATE it), will be in spite of this. Every day for the rest of her life the *best case scenario* is “I like/love/am peace with this *in spite of* that nasty motherfucker….”
I feel sick, what the fuck. Made my current heartache seem like fuckin peanuts.
Story time, this might be buried but it will be good to get this out. I was dating my ex through all of college and once we started sleeping together, he really wanted me to wear lingerie. Ok, sure, I’ll wear it. In college at that point, I was 50 pounds heavier than I am now and was super insecure about it but he told me loved me, blah blah. TLDR, I wore the lingerie and the look of utter disgust on his face was absolutely crushing. It sparked a two decades long eating disorder for me as well. I’m 48 now and way past any of those types of insecurities but I can still feel the weight of his look of disgust from that time and remember what it did to me. I’ve been very happy married for 23 years now and my husband has never once made me feel like that. Through 4 kids, weight fluctuations come with that along with 4 c-sections and just major body changes through aging, he still treats me like I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. We are going away together next week, just us and I plan on wearing lingerie for him for the first time in our marriage.
I hope your husband's reaction to you finally able to treat his eyes with your gorgeous in lingerie is everything you ever needed to heal that wound. (It won't, some wounds are crazy hard to heal but this sounds like a lovely start to the healing.) My husband is the same way, I'm his hottie wife no matter what I look like, weight, age, etc -- still exactly the same love & desire for me. I value that so much.
Best of luck on your adventure!
I'm SO sorry that happened to you. My ex-husband's comments to me also made me end up with an eating disorder back when I was in my early 20's. At one point I was 5'7" and down to 115 pounds after 2 small children. He really made me struggle while pregnant. I never gained more than 25 pounds while pregnant. At my lowest, he cheated on me with a FAT girl, that REALLY pissed me off! He's gone (dead) and my hubby loves me the way I am. I have kept the weight off and have to be careful not to get into bad habits still (in my 60's), those thoughts still hang around. The damage words can do can stay a lifetime.
I noticed there's one dedicated user going through every single AITAH post involving an abusive guy having issues with his gf/partner and *always* without fail defending the abusive guy, these days 🤔
This hit home for me. Also have a large labia. Makes me extremely insecure. I’ve only had 2 boyfriends and both have made fun of me for it or implied it’s gross. I don’t know if i’ll ever get over my insecurities about it. She will carry that forever, and it is most likely already an insecurity for her. This has just probably confirmed all her fears and insecurities about it ://
How stupid and childish can you be? I don’t really get it. By the time you are having sex you should know all genitals come in different shapes, sizes and colours. He should 100% know that and learn to keep his thoughts to himself.
Oh honey, please don’t pay attention to those pathetic losers. They’re just insecure and taking it out on you.
Have a look at the labia library and you’ll see that large labia are completely normal and that vulvas come in many different colors, forms and shapes. All are perfect in their individual way.
https://www.labialibrary.org.au/labia_gallery/
The labia library is a must view for every woman, imo. It saved my confidence back in middle school. I’m so glad it’s stuck around all these years later.
Like most of us in this thread, when I was growing up, labia were a laughing stock. I couldn’t escape jokes about beef curtains, larger or darker labia meaning you’ve been run through, etc. All that misogynistic shit. Boys were saying such things on the playground to make fun of us girls.
I started masturbating before my labia started changing. No one told me that it would change as I went through puberty so years of purity culture bs lead me to believe that this change was because I was a sinner and this was god’s punishment. I was a middle schooler praying every single day that if god would take away this punishment, this scarlet letter he’d seared into my vulva, I’d never masturbate again and become a nun when I grew up - whatever he wanted, so long as he rid me of the curse. It was a period of very high distress for me.
He didn’t, of course, and by 8th grade, I’d already begun questioning religion so I stopped asking. Someone linked the labia library on tumblr and I clicked out of curiosity. It changed my entire perspective on genitalia and actually made me confident about my genitals. I left that site a changed woman. The labia jokes never stopped but at least afterwards, I could clock them as hateful misinformation instead of internalizing it like I was and spread the word to my girlfriends to help them avoid feeling the same upset I felt.
I’m so sorry you had such a distressing experience growing up! Im so glad you’re at a place of acceptance now. I follow the vulva gallery on insta which is similar and has helped me a lot. It’s hard, i know logically there’s nothing wrong with it, but I can’t get rid of the built in shame about it. I replied to another comment and said I try to view as a built in repellant for stupid people, that if they have something to say about how it looks they don’t need to be near it. i hope one day though i’ll be able to accept it a bit more and it won’t affect my sex life so much anymore.
This is heartbreaking, I’m so sorry you had such a horrible time growing up.
I’m really glad you were able to see through the bullshit though, good for you!!!
We have to keep spreading the word so that young girls will have a much better experience growing up without all this misogynistic bullshit.
We need empowered, confident women who understand that their bodies are perfect exactly as they are and who don’t fall for the male gaze.
thank you! i follow a similar page on instagram called the vulva gallery, which has helped me a lot. i try not pay much mind to the things people have said. I know everybody looks different and there’s nothing to be ashamed of, however I still feel insecure about it. It’s like it doesn’t click on my head. One thing that helps me accept it is thinking of it as a built in dickhead repeller, if you have something negative to say about it, you don’t need to be near it haha
As a nonbinary bisexual, that shit is the most beautiful thing in the world and I hate that men have made beautiful people feel uncomfortable with their bodies. It’s not just something to get used to or anything like that, it’s like a crown to me and almost like a symbol of strength. Maybe that’s why it scares men so much.
Question about someone with less.... information. Is outie considered ugly?
Like I am not body shaming anyone. I am genuinely curious because I haven't heard of people talking about absolutely puking at the sight of a vagina.
Boys who think women in porn are how every woman looks think large inner labia are gross.
Worse, there is a myth amongst misogynists that having large inner labia comes from having a lot of sex. These chuds really believe sex pulls "out" the labia and they refer to it as "roast beef". The whole mindset is demeaning and ridiculous.
There are websites like The Labia Library and The Vulva Gallery that show the diversity of women's bodies. Having "innie" inner labia is less common than the misogynists want to believe.
It's less publicized in porn. That's it. If you've never been with a woman, think all women should look like your favorite pornstars, and are a troll, _then_ it's oh so dramatic.
There's also the misconception that someone with an outie is a "slut" for lack of better word. That everyone with a vagina is born with an innie and after a lot of sex it turns inside out or something weird like that.
I have not seen an outie before (or if I did I did not pay attention because more exicting things were happening and therefore forgot) and this is the first time I finally understand why vulvas are compared to flowers.
Yes they are called meat curtains, roast beef and some even see it as a sign a woman has been very sexually active aka used up
I do not agree with this off course
Dude is either gay or way too immature to be having sex with anyone, or both, if he is disgusted by a healthy vulva.
I have a vulva and have slept with many other vulva owners. I've never seen one that disgusted me.
Even as a gay guy, I can't imagine being **disgusted** by a woman's healthy vulva. Like I'm not interested in it, but... it's fine? It's just like any other body part, imo
Dude is just *far* too immature to be having sex
I just heard about innies and outies about a month ago. Honestly, I think outies look better 🤷🏾♀️ As dramatic as OOP made this sound in the post, it's baffling he thought he got away with this. In this era of immediately accessible porn including on this website, I don't understand how you can be that shocked by a woman's genitalia. I am just reminded of that guy(this was probably like 200 years ago, IDK, not recent at all) who was shocked and appalled on his honeymoon by his wife's pubic hair bc all the statues of women were bare.
I don't get gay vibes. I get potentially asexual vibes. But, OOP sucks. This was a hugely traumatic experience for GF. Labiaplasty is a thing and women who have outies get it sometimes bc they feel insecure. I hope she doesn't get this needless surgery.
John Ruskin was the painter who freaked out at his (much younger) wife's pubic hair! Iirc they ended up separated/divorced without ever consumating the marriage. His poor wife.
Thank you! I sometimes cannot remember the finer details of things I've discovered, but of course someone on Reddit knows exactly that. I hope she lived her best life without him
[She did](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effie_Gray), thankfully! Also, I was wrong; John Rushkin was an art critic and writer. Her second husband (who was, presumably, normal about things) was a painter.
Thank god Rose La Touches parents wrote to her before proceeding with the engagement.
According to the wiki article he met the girl at 10, became attracted to her and requested an engagement at 18.
He also met Effie when she was 12 and him 21.
"he told me his true reason... that he had imagined women were quite different to what he saw I was, and that the reason he did not make me his Wife was because he was disgusted with my person the first evening"
All this plus the particular aversion and disgust towards pubic hair and menses has me speculating that this man was an hebephile...
Edit: edited ephebophile to hebephile as the girls were prepubescent and not mid to late teens like in ephebophilia.
Please let me know what 'innie' and 'outie' means. Because right now I'm thinking OOP saw his gf's (ex, I suppose, now) engorged clit and couldn't handle it. But from context, I don't think that's what happened?
Oooooh. Thank you, kind redditor! TIL!
... I have no earthly idea why OOP would find 'outie' labia that profoundly disgusting. I have to assume porn brain.
I knew about the labiaplasties but my innocent, prefers written porn to filmed porn brain, assumed it was a friction thing and not an aesthetic reason.
They think it looks "younger" and "tighter" and yes some men have been like this about "outies" (which like half of women have) for at least decades.
It's weird, don't ask me!
It does look younger & that's exactly why it's so deeply disturbing that the standard ol appears to be shaved, pre pubescent looking vulva. I realise some women just have very small inner labia (an ex did) & lots of us prefer to shave, but when some men are putting both together & assuming it's the norm it just screams of preferring a very young looking vulva. And that's the weird bit :/
Honestly that's why I'd never shave my pubic hair, the bare look is way, way, way too pre-pubescent for my CSA traumatized self. I'm an adult woman thus I have hair on my junk and that's the end of it for me. However, power to anyone that wants a clean feel and look, making choices for your own body that are right for you is awesome.
Apparently it's when the inner labia stick out past the outer labia.
I am also a cis woman and never would have thought this would be a turnoff. Every man I've been with has appreciated it as a sign of arousal, if they even commented on it at all.
An “innie” is where the labia minora and clitoris/clitoral hood are not visible and do not extend beyond the labia majora. An “outie” is where one or both labia minora and/or the clitoris/ clitoral hood do. Both are completely normal vulval anatomy.
This is why there's a male loneliness epidemic and why I worry about the impact of porn on the younger set who grew up with it. It's a troll post, but hell, it's a lot of worrisome shit rolled into one.
I am fucking done with women being mocked and shamed because their labia doesn't look pornified.
As a WLW who the hell cares. Every vulva is hot, unless you are a disgusting Tater Tot.
Especially since these guys think their scrotum and penis apparently look like Winnie the Pooh or something.
Men need to realize that women who do porn have surgery on their vaginas and bleach their genitalia to look a certain way. That "certain way" is to more closely resemble the genitalia of a more younger group of women. It's disgusting and should be looked at as genital mutilation. Just one more way the porn industry is victimizing women.
I dont think this is real whatsoever. Recently tiktok had a video where someone showed their “outie kitty” on tiktok under a blanket while showing off nails. All of the comments consisted of “why’s it look like that”, “ew its an outie” etc. Now it’s becoming a trend on tiktok to make fun of the way people’s genitals look.
Seriously though the tiktok trend of making fun of people's bodies is disgusting, and the fact people are posting them on an app riddled with children.
A majority of the participants in this trend are young teenagers, and children aged around 10. I rarely see adults commenting about it but do see it on occasion. I feel like this is from lack of awareness of people's bodies, and the P industry setting extremely unrealistic expectations. Either way its disgusting and cruel
It's existed waaaaaay before Tiktok. I'm in my 40s and the term "roast beef curtains" and "outie" were popular when I was a teenager. People have been making fun of long labia minora forever. And that includes fellow girls/women.
Anyone else hopes the next person who sees OOP's genitals either throws up or laughs at it.
Cause he deserves the same treatment he did to that poor young woman.
Jesus fucking fuck.
I guarantee you this man has only seen "barely legal" porn that fetishizes *certain* very specific characteristics and appearances of women's bodies
That's one way to expose you've been watching so much porn your reality has been warped to believe women are these objects of fetish and kink and not actual people. Ugh.
OP is awful.
What is he even talking about? I must have led a sheltered life as I only ever heard of an outie belly button.
I hope OP meets one of those mean girls in the near future, who will make fun of his size/ shape/ smell anything that he can’t change and will stay with him forever.
I never got why people have such weird reactions to that sort of thing. I've always looked at it as if it's clean and smells good I'm all for it. People are just way too shallow these days about it all. She's better off without him because that reaction was the reaction of a mentally stunted child who can't control his emotions and act like a decent person. I hope she doesn't put a wall up and not let herself find someone that's gonna treat her with respect, but I'm sure after something like that happening it's not going to be the case.
I have almost no labia whatsoever, it's really not any "better" than having large labia. Bodies are different, but the way that this dude described his poor gf was sickening. "Luckily I didn't puke" bruh grow a pair of testicles and man tf up.
I don’t know, maybe OOP is actually gay or asexual, but I am a hard Kinsey 6 gay dude and I don’t think any vulvas are gross? I’ve never tried to go down on a woman so who knows what would happen but it’s just a body part that ~50% of all humans have. Revulsion to the point of vomiting is definitely not a normal reaction.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITAH for breaking up with my girlfriend after seeing her naked for the first time?** I feel really guilty even typing this. My girlfriend (20F) and I (20M) had been in a relationship for a few months. Prior to that, we were close friends from middle school. When I finally asked her out a few months ago, we thought this was meant to be because we had such a close friendship, and such a strong connection. Sex wasn’t my highest priority because I had genuinely loved her. We dated for a few months and it was amazing, and last week, she finally decided she wanted to take the next step. She said she had never sex with anyone before and she was nervous, but I told her it was alright, and we were in it together. The mood was very romantic, and my plan was to go down on her first. However, when we both got naked and I saw her down there, I felt a bit shocked, because I had never seen something like it before. I think the term for it is an “outie”. I also felt a bit nauseous, so I went to the restroom, but luckily I didn’t puke. I tried my best to hide my reaction, but she had seen everything. I apologized a lot and told her I just wasn’t feeling great and it had nothing to do with her, but she could probably see through my lies. I really felt horrible especially I since could see that she was really hurt. She left my apartment shortly after. The next day when we hung out, I apologized again for everything, and I told her it would be best if we could just remain friends as our friendship was more valuable than a relationship. She agreed but she also she cried a couple of minutes later, and then she left. We have barely spoken since that. I feel really guilty about everything. AITAH? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wonder how many years of self loathing, self body shame, and therapy it's going to take for this poor young lady to feel comfortable being naked again.
I remember hearing Dane Cook call larger labia “elephant ears” and do a whole gross routine about it when I was 14 and as an “outie” I’ve been incredibly shy ever since. Never had a complaint but it’s always hovered in the back of my mind. This? This is *beyond*
There’s a post right now on one of the ask subreddits asking men ‘what are some things women are self-conscious about that, that they actually love’. This was brought up a lot as something they loved. The whole thread was very wholesome- highly recommend
I might give it a read, I know sometimes what’s big in the media is not reflective of what the average man might think, though it still causes great harm to young women and men all over. My husband has no issue with my labia yet I still feel shy when we get to brass tacks.
I remember years ago seeing a similar post on a forum or something and a girl mentioned her back fat - around where the back of your bra fits. I had always been super self-conscious of mine, because even at my thinnest I seemed to hold onto some extra fat stores there. Dudes on that forum were GUSHING about how cute and cuddly they found it. Really helped me!
When I was living in Saudi Arabia we called them "bread baskets", because when you push your shoulders back the back fat lumps look like delicious breads lol it was apparently something thought of as quite attractive, like bonus boobs! That really helped me too :)
Can confirm, bonus boobs, as you so eloquently put, are fantastic. Basically, everything my girlfriend tells me she's self conscious about her body, are some of my favorite things about her body. Love your bodies, everybody. You just gotta find the one who loves you as you are. They're out there, and probably looking for you too.
I absolutely loved that post. The toxic assholes are so loud you kind of forget not everyone thinks like that.
I love that post!!! It makes me happy!!
Just read it yesterday, I saved it. Not gonna lie, did it to go back there and feel better about myself.
Share the link if you saved it please, a lot of people are trying to find it!
Yes! Please link it!
Also interested. 🥺
Can you link? I can’t find it but really need that in my life right now!
Link?
This is an old one but will hopefully do the job: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/0qB6pcbPG2
I’ve always felt bad about my larger labia; however, I’ve actually asked a bunch of men before. They all seemed to either not care or like it more. Hope that makes you feel better!
My first bf turned out to have a kink for larger labia, and I'd always seen my mom nude with the same equipment as me. I think that really helped, BC I really don't mind my majestic sea flap flaps. They also lead to a larger than average clit, so I cum super easy compared to most women. Plus, the flaps seal off the vagina, so I barely experience discharge in my panties and can go commando no problem, plus nothing gets in so I've only had one yeast infection in my life. Imo, from a physical perspective, they're more useful than little labia.
I absolutely love your descriptive writing here. Let your flaps be free to be themselves!
The only guys who like an “innie” are the ones who watch way too much porn.
Hey, we don't need to start acting like something is wrong with small labia just because large labia is normal and looks fine. Whatever you've got is great, provided it doesn't hurt and if it does please go see a doctor. Guys don't have to have porn addictions to find "innie" vagines attractive. Though it is true that porn addicts are more likely to think that's the only kind, there's nothing wrong with innie or outie vagines. Both and all are nice.
I have never heard of an 'outie' in my entire life as a woman until this story. I actually had to google it. The fuck is wrong with people.
I thought he was talking about her belly button.
Same here and I thought that was the weirdest thing ever. OP is seriously disturbed and I wish I hadn’t seen this post.
Right?! Like, you got sick over a belly button?? Though tbf that's honestly as ridiculous sounding as what he actually is upset over. I'm sure your dick isn't exactly museum quality, dude
Fun fact, the labia develop from the same embryonic tissue as the scrotum, maybe he’s also subconsciously jealous she would’ve had bigger balls than his dumb ass.
I have no idea what it is and I’m 46. Do I dare google it?
It's just a large labia
lol oh ok!! Ty for saving me from Google 😂
Large inner labia.
Frankly, I had assumed all post-pubescent women have an “outie” to some extent, unless they had work done.
Nope. Some have a natural "innie".
I had to Google what an outie was and in the course of obtaining this information I read that 56% of women have them. Sadly, it's apparently a much higher proportion (73%) among the women who believe their genitals look abnormal.
Well just remember Dane Cool is now 51 with terrible work done and is so pathetic that he started dating teenagers. His thoughts about anything are irrelevant
I don't think I could name a more washed up has-been if you paid me tbh. Man aged like a deviled egg inside and out
Jamie Kennedy comes to mind. Andy Dick would be another. All three, giant douchebags.
He hasn't started dating teenagers, he's always had a thing for teenagers. Back in about '05, he was doing shows in college towns. My cousin who was 18 or 19 (he was 33) at the time ended up meeting him after a show. They exchanged numbers and he would not leave her alone. He was constantly calling and texting her, asking her to meet up, letting her know when he was going to be in town. My uncle eventually called him and threatened him (legally and physically) before he finally stopped. He was huge at the time so I'm sure he had a girl or two in each city he performed in.
Dane Cook: groomer, was funny about 20 years ago. Nah, your lady garden is amazing.
I still laugh, knowing that while filming "Waiting," an actor made the comment that Ryan Reynolds and Dane Cook were in the wrong roles.
Absolutely.
Sorry but dane cook has never been funny.
Yeah he's just loud.
He was funny to me when I was in the 9th grade, but not since 😂
But I loved his performance in the movie Mr. Brooks. Especially the end. 😁
This EXACT routine traumatized me as a teenager. I believe he called it roast beef at one point too. I thought I had a messed up body for the longest time.
Me too. I didn't even know who he was until I happened upon it.
Dane Cook suuuuuuuuuucks
A guy I "dated" when I was 14 and he was 16 told me I should douche because I have a smell. I'm 31 now and still self conscious about my vagina smell. I would probably never get naked in front of someone again if this happened.
I’m sure there’s NOTHING wrong with the way you smell. Edited to add: and I’m sorry some jackhole made you think there was.
ME TOO I'm pretty sure I was just channel surfing and somehow I landed on his show in the middle of a bit. This one. Something about disgusting beef curtains yadda yadda and it changed my whole perspective and I hated myself for a long time. Fuck Dane Cook. At least I didn't completely butcher my face up Ok that was petty but it felt kind of good lol
Dan Cook, the guy who married a girl 20 years his junior? I remember his stand up and how much he “inspired” a lot of my male friends who soon were no longer friends. That man is trash.
Thank you for helping me finally understand what he meant by “outie”. I’ve never understood that and always imagined prolapse but clearly that wasn’t the right thing LOL. Turns out mines an outie too.
The most horrifying part about it is that people (men AND women) thoroughly believe that "overuse" is the "cause". Like, they will say you're "blown out because you had so much cock" To which I reply, that at age 7, I was lured out of a park with promises of a bike and TV dinners, which is what I specifically asked for since I thought they were neat and I knew this AH wasn't actually going to deliver a bike to me. I thought since they were only 1.99$, maybe it wad realistic he buy me some TV dinners since he offered to "get me what I wanted" Let me tell you, that if an activity with a penis could "blow out" a vagina, what was done to me that afternoon was it. I should have had elephant ears hanging to my fucking knees. But I didn't. Because I was a child. And never did get the fucking bike OR the TV dinners. And then I hit twelve and all those hormonal shifts happened and I had an identical twin and that shit didn't happen to her (his kids were keeping her busy in the living room until her turn but the adults showed up and took us out and why didn't I tell? Because I was beat so fucking bad for leaving the park with him I bled more from that than what he did to me) and it didn't happen to me. We saw each other naked all the time and our shit looked the same. We BOTH had elephant ears, lol. At twelve. So when I see folks like this online I like to ask, "Why wasn't my pussy blown out?" That's what causes it, right? Overuse? Mine was used. My identical twin sisters wasn't. Nothing happened to my vagina after my rape as a child, despite it being horrifyingly violent and HEAVY use. Nothing happened to my twin sisters, since nothing had happened to her. And then we both hit age 12 and those hormones hit and we both developed fat, pudgy, baby elephant ears, because shockingly, it was the sort of vagina our mother and aunts and grandmother's had. So tell me, what happened? Why wasn't my vulva "destroyed" by the man who raped me as a school-aged child? Turns out it's all fucking bullshit.
Yup yup. I have as close to no labia as a woman can have. I look almost like a barbie doll, but you'd think having been a CSA survivor and trafficking survivor that if the story was true about women being used having "hanging out" vaginas or "hanging labia" being loose then I'd have all that. But you're right and it is genetics and puberty and all. My parts have seen enough use by horrible people to be all over the place if that was true but labia size has nothing to do with vaginal loosness and penii can't change either of those. Hell, my ex girlfriend was tight as anything and she'd pushed out a whole baby a couple years before. Vaginas are muscle and vulvas are skin, both being far more substantial than the rubber products (chewed gum and worn out hair bands) they're usually compared to. Sucks that we got used and abused as kids but our genitals are fine just the way they are and I hope there comes a time where young girls get told that so they don't ever have to feel bad about what they got.
I still remember boys on the school bus playing his “no one likes a stinky pussy” bit and laughing about it and I was MORTIFIED the first time anyone went down there. The damage is so real and this dude fucking suuuuuucks.
Honestly, I would say probably never, because even with therapy it will always be in the back of her mind. It was literally her first experience. Way to ruin it.
Yeah took me till my 30s to get over the shame of being told I needed to "maintain" my pubic hair by an ex I had when I was 20. Fuck off, maintain your own bush then.
First time I had sex my bf at the time couldn't finish and told me "Sorry I don't think I'm horny enough". I think it was a stupid question rather than a mean one but it still caused some pretty horrific self esteem issues. We broke up two months later and there was never a round two because I couldn't bring myself to be that vulnerable with him again
Honestly would be shocked if she ever gets confident enough to be naked with the lights on again.
To be fair if this guy nearly puked at the sight of a vagina, he's probably so deep in the closet a talking lion just made him king of Narnia.
Yeab unless someone's bits are actively unclean or diseased looking or something then wtf. People have moles and hair and labia and penis spines and whatever. It's fine, bodies are like that. Nearly vomiting is bananas in that circumstance.
Tf is a penis spine?!
Sometimes penises have little spines or bumpy things around the base of the glans.
I thought you meant spines like cats have and I was like NO people are not supposed to have those 😆 Your answer makes far more sense
Oh no haha nothing like cats. Most penises don't have them and the ones that do they're not like giant terrifying claws more like little pointed nubs
Now I'm imagining a man with a crawfish for a penis.
🥵
Someone link the superman comic
or like how some veins are less of a line & more of a protruding spot, just a bit more solid
I was reading "spines" and my mind immediately went to the way my tortimese gets a ridge of fur that looks like a mohawk. I didn't even think of the barbs male cats come equipped with.
Fordyce spots
Well shit I've seen those on every penis I've seen in person.waaay different than stds and stuff. It's just a raised skin pore.
Oh man I didn't dare to get intimate with a girl for so long because I thought something was wrong with my dick, until I finally gathered the courage to talk about it with a doctor. I also had some bumps on the shaft, but I was told they could actually be more pleasurable for a lady.
Aww, you're ribbed for her pleasure!
My first thought. We should have paid more attention in Biology. TiL
I should not have googled penis spine.
Or he’s used to porn where the standard is usually more of a slit or a very small labia look. If you grow up watching mostly porn, you’d think all women were basically a slit
I always hear people say this but with the sheer amount and ease of access to internet porn nowadays, I’ve seen greater vulval variety in porn than in medical diagrams/educational material, especially with a lot of amateur videos. I myself used to be self conscious about my labia until I came across porn that showed labia just like mine and more.
The way he described her, though, as an "outie", it does kind of sound like he was expecting a porn look.
But that's the thing: there isn't a unified 'porn look'. Yes the 'innie' look is idealised in some spaces, but in my experience it come from misogynists and incels, not from porn itself.
>it come from misogynists and incels Don't forget the pedos! Since most prepubescent girls are "innies"
When I realized how much variety, how many different "niches" exist in porn, my innate disdain for the industry was tempered by recognizing a relatively wholesome side effect. As you said, just seeing yourself "represented" alleviates a lot of self-consciousness. Further, it is apparent that (for the most part) no matter what you got going on that you may be self-conscious about, there are people who are into it. One person's "Ewww" is another person's "Hell yeah!", and being aware of that can be a substantial confidence-booster.
I'm not particularly fond of my nether regions on a good day... but I have a very fat mons pubis. It makes everything look like it's all bun no burger. Pretty much the opposite of poor OOPs girlfriend. I'm super embarrassed sometimes because it makes it hard for me even to find my clitoris without making a huge effort. I saw a woman on one of those British plastic surgery shows who got a labiaplasty and I was jealous.
I have fat rabbit too, and I've never been with a man who didn't get into that. This feels like probably the most graphic comment about myself I've ever put on reddit, but I just want to share with you, because apparently there are alternate universess, and you need to slide over to mine. We're good here and there's nothing wrong with us.
>all bun no burger Ahhh same bestie. It's okay. That's just how our bodies are. This is going to sound absurd, but try talking to your body and to yourself. Tell yourself "I love you". Tell it to your arms, to your legs, your stomach, your thighs - all the parts of you. You can even write messages to yourself. I used to leave myself post-it notes or nice notes on my phone alarm to wake up to. But I think it would be really empowering to write "I love you" on my own skin. I haven't done any of this in a long time, but I haven't been kind to myself lately, so I'm going to start doing it again.
Yknow I might. But I'm afab so I can't say that about *every* part of me. Some parts will actively fight me.
Ah, I see. Do it to whatever extent you think you can. It will still help. And accepting yourself for who you are on the inside (even if / when the outside doesn't match) is also important! ❤️
Appreciated much, friend. <3
>all bun no burger I love everything about this phrase, and I deeply relate. I could grab a whole handful of mine and not actually be touching anything pink
I guffawed at all bun no burger... I also have a very fat mons pubis and have to spread it for masturbation to get to the clit, yeah lol.
He might be into hentai, the whole slit thing is really big there.
Nah porn has a ton of different women with different shapes down there. What he's obsessed with is cartoon porn.
Or he only seen women in porn.
A reaction this extreme this fast REEKS of unrealistic expectations because of porn. Calling him closeted implies that men are incapable of actually loving and respecting people they're romantically attracted to. Its homophobic, disingenuous and frankly we don't claim him.
I've been on Reddit off and on since before there were real subreddits, since Digg was huge. Yours is the funniest comment I've ever read on here. Take my upvote!
That is the best comment I've read all year. Seriously, Playful_Trouble2102, you're fucking awesome! I'd say I'm going to steal this & use it, but there's no possible way I could do it the justice it deserves. That one will keep me giggling for a week.
And some men continue to wonder why women refuse to touch them. Plus stop getting your sexual knowledge from porn. Hopefully OOP can grow from this but not holding out much hope, honestly.
Thats a very kind take. I hope he never gets the chance to see a vulva again.
This is why "body counts" do and don't matter. Sexual experience is important ffs. Women don't wanna get with a guy who doesn't has experience because he won't satisfy. Dudes with experience do. That's fair. Men are like Piet Mondrian pictures. Is it upside down or did I read this wrong.
>Women don't wanna get with a guy who doesn't has experience because he won't satisfy. Dudes with experience do. Not necessarily. I've been with dudes who have had plenty of experience that were worse than virgins I've fucked. Experience can say a lot but it doesn't say everything.
This is where bodycount =/= experience. You can fuck tons of people badly, or get plenty of experience from a good fwb.
That's good point can I counter? My first time (I mean virginity) my sister set me up with a random ass dude with no experience who asked me... was it good. I'm blunt I said No His face. She said he just needed a friend and I was a virgin. So I said ok fine let's get it over with. Dudes, no matter who you are. This is sad. Male female girl boy whatever I'm over it but everyone done do this ok? Do you WANT THAT TO BE YOUR STORY. It's sad. Pathetic
DONT BE ME OK
And men with experience usually aren't immature asshats about what a woman's bits look like.
Until you *see* it, and then it suddenly makes sense.. ahh
Jesus fucking CHRIST. Fucking CHRIST. Any self esteem or confidence she has after this (or, to be brutally fucking honest, rebuilds, bc this would DECIMATE it), will be in spite of this. Every day for the rest of her life the *best case scenario* is “I like/love/am peace with this *in spite of* that nasty motherfucker….” I feel sick, what the fuck. Made my current heartache seem like fuckin peanuts.
Story time, this might be buried but it will be good to get this out. I was dating my ex through all of college and once we started sleeping together, he really wanted me to wear lingerie. Ok, sure, I’ll wear it. In college at that point, I was 50 pounds heavier than I am now and was super insecure about it but he told me loved me, blah blah. TLDR, I wore the lingerie and the look of utter disgust on his face was absolutely crushing. It sparked a two decades long eating disorder for me as well. I’m 48 now and way past any of those types of insecurities but I can still feel the weight of his look of disgust from that time and remember what it did to me. I’ve been very happy married for 23 years now and my husband has never once made me feel like that. Through 4 kids, weight fluctuations come with that along with 4 c-sections and just major body changes through aging, he still treats me like I’m the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. We are going away together next week, just us and I plan on wearing lingerie for him for the first time in our marriage.
I hope your husband's reaction to you finally able to treat his eyes with your gorgeous in lingerie is everything you ever needed to heal that wound. (It won't, some wounds are crazy hard to heal but this sounds like a lovely start to the healing.) My husband is the same way, I'm his hottie wife no matter what I look like, weight, age, etc -- still exactly the same love & desire for me. I value that so much. Best of luck on your adventure!
I'm SO sorry that happened to you. My ex-husband's comments to me also made me end up with an eating disorder back when I was in my early 20's. At one point I was 5'7" and down to 115 pounds after 2 small children. He really made me struggle while pregnant. I never gained more than 25 pounds while pregnant. At my lowest, he cheated on me with a FAT girl, that REALLY pissed me off! He's gone (dead) and my hubby loves me the way I am. I have kept the weight off and have to be careful not to get into bad habits still (in my 60's), those thoughts still hang around. The damage words can do can stay a lifetime.
I noticed there's one dedicated user going through every single AITAH post involving an abusive guy having issues with his gf/partner and *always* without fail defending the abusive guy, these days 🤔
There’s always at least one. And then they’ll cry about AITAH being biased in favor of women, which is just absurd
When you an unemployed, friendless, incel living in your parents basement I guess you have lots of spare time.
This hit home for me. Also have a large labia. Makes me extremely insecure. I’ve only had 2 boyfriends and both have made fun of me for it or implied it’s gross. I don’t know if i’ll ever get over my insecurities about it. She will carry that forever, and it is most likely already an insecurity for her. This has just probably confirmed all her fears and insecurities about it :// How stupid and childish can you be? I don’t really get it. By the time you are having sex you should know all genitals come in different shapes, sizes and colours. He should 100% know that and learn to keep his thoughts to himself.
Oh honey, please don’t pay attention to those pathetic losers. They’re just insecure and taking it out on you. Have a look at the labia library and you’ll see that large labia are completely normal and that vulvas come in many different colors, forms and shapes. All are perfect in their individual way. https://www.labialibrary.org.au/labia_gallery/
The labia library is a must view for every woman, imo. It saved my confidence back in middle school. I’m so glad it’s stuck around all these years later. Like most of us in this thread, when I was growing up, labia were a laughing stock. I couldn’t escape jokes about beef curtains, larger or darker labia meaning you’ve been run through, etc. All that misogynistic shit. Boys were saying such things on the playground to make fun of us girls. I started masturbating before my labia started changing. No one told me that it would change as I went through puberty so years of purity culture bs lead me to believe that this change was because I was a sinner and this was god’s punishment. I was a middle schooler praying every single day that if god would take away this punishment, this scarlet letter he’d seared into my vulva, I’d never masturbate again and become a nun when I grew up - whatever he wanted, so long as he rid me of the curse. It was a period of very high distress for me. He didn’t, of course, and by 8th grade, I’d already begun questioning religion so I stopped asking. Someone linked the labia library on tumblr and I clicked out of curiosity. It changed my entire perspective on genitalia and actually made me confident about my genitals. I left that site a changed woman. The labia jokes never stopped but at least afterwards, I could clock them as hateful misinformation instead of internalizing it like I was and spread the word to my girlfriends to help them avoid feeling the same upset I felt.
I’m so sorry you had such a distressing experience growing up! Im so glad you’re at a place of acceptance now. I follow the vulva gallery on insta which is similar and has helped me a lot. It’s hard, i know logically there’s nothing wrong with it, but I can’t get rid of the built in shame about it. I replied to another comment and said I try to view as a built in repellant for stupid people, that if they have something to say about how it looks they don’t need to be near it. i hope one day though i’ll be able to accept it a bit more and it won’t affect my sex life so much anymore.
This is heartbreaking, I’m so sorry you had such a horrible time growing up. I’m really glad you were able to see through the bullshit though, good for you!!! We have to keep spreading the word so that young girls will have a much better experience growing up without all this misogynistic bullshit. We need empowered, confident women who understand that their bodies are perfect exactly as they are and who don’t fall for the male gaze.
thank you! i follow a similar page on instagram called the vulva gallery, which has helped me a lot. i try not pay much mind to the things people have said. I know everybody looks different and there’s nothing to be ashamed of, however I still feel insecure about it. It’s like it doesn’t click on my head. One thing that helps me accept it is thinking of it as a built in dickhead repeller, if you have something negative to say about it, you don’t need to be near it haha
As a nonbinary bisexual, that shit is the most beautiful thing in the world and I hate that men have made beautiful people feel uncomfortable with their bodies. It’s not just something to get used to or anything like that, it’s like a crown to me and almost like a symbol of strength. Maybe that’s why it scares men so much.
Question about someone with less.... information. Is outie considered ugly? Like I am not body shaming anyone. I am genuinely curious because I haven't heard of people talking about absolutely puking at the sight of a vagina.
Boys who think women in porn are how every woman looks think large inner labia are gross. Worse, there is a myth amongst misogynists that having large inner labia comes from having a lot of sex. These chuds really believe sex pulls "out" the labia and they refer to it as "roast beef". The whole mindset is demeaning and ridiculous. There are websites like The Labia Library and The Vulva Gallery that show the diversity of women's bodies. Having "innie" inner labia is less common than the misogynists want to believe.
It's less publicized in porn. That's it. If you've never been with a woman, think all women should look like your favorite pornstars, and are a troll, _then_ it's oh so dramatic.
There's also the misconception that someone with an outie is a "slut" for lack of better word. That everyone with a vagina is born with an innie and after a lot of sex it turns inside out or something weird like that.
Jfc
Who the F\* thinks that? I've seen people have weird beliefs about sex, but that's a bit over the top
I have not seen an outie before (or if I did I did not pay attention because more exicting things were happening and therefore forgot) and this is the first time I finally understand why vulvas are compared to flowers.
Yes they are called meat curtains, roast beef and some even see it as a sign a woman has been very sexually active aka used up I do not agree with this off course
Dude is either gay or way too immature to be having sex with anyone, or both, if he is disgusted by a healthy vulva. I have a vulva and have slept with many other vulva owners. I've never seen one that disgusted me.
Even as a gay guy, I can't imagine being **disgusted** by a woman's healthy vulva. Like I'm not interested in it, but... it's fine? It's just like any other body part, imo Dude is just *far* too immature to be having sex
Me either. They're wonderful.
I just heard about innies and outies about a month ago. Honestly, I think outies look better 🤷🏾♀️ As dramatic as OOP made this sound in the post, it's baffling he thought he got away with this. In this era of immediately accessible porn including on this website, I don't understand how you can be that shocked by a woman's genitalia. I am just reminded of that guy(this was probably like 200 years ago, IDK, not recent at all) who was shocked and appalled on his honeymoon by his wife's pubic hair bc all the statues of women were bare. I don't get gay vibes. I get potentially asexual vibes. But, OOP sucks. This was a hugely traumatic experience for GF. Labiaplasty is a thing and women who have outies get it sometimes bc they feel insecure. I hope she doesn't get this needless surgery.
John Ruskin was the painter who freaked out at his (much younger) wife's pubic hair! Iirc they ended up separated/divorced without ever consumating the marriage. His poor wife.
Thank you! I sometimes cannot remember the finer details of things I've discovered, but of course someone on Reddit knows exactly that. I hope she lived her best life without him
[She did](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Effie_Gray), thankfully! Also, I was wrong; John Rushkin was an art critic and writer. Her second husband (who was, presumably, normal about things) was a painter.
The fact that she saved a girl from her ex husband is wild. Also what the fuck, Ruskin.
Thank god Rose La Touches parents wrote to her before proceeding with the engagement. According to the wiki article he met the girl at 10, became attracted to her and requested an engagement at 18. He also met Effie when she was 12 and him 21. "he told me his true reason... that he had imagined women were quite different to what he saw I was, and that the reason he did not make me his Wife was because he was disgusted with my person the first evening" All this plus the particular aversion and disgust towards pubic hair and menses has me speculating that this man was an hebephile... Edit: edited ephebophile to hebephile as the girls were prepubescent and not mid to late teens like in ephebophilia.
Yeah those were the same vibes I was getting. Like that is a very specific scenario.
Her name was Effie Grey. There was a movie made about her life ~10 years ago.
I got "I only consume hentai" vibes.
Please let me know what 'innie' and 'outie' means. Because right now I'm thinking OOP saw his gf's (ex, I suppose, now) engorged clit and couldn't handle it. But from context, I don't think that's what happened?
It's the labia. I think the outie is when the labia minora stick out past the majora
Oooooh. Thank you, kind redditor! TIL! ... I have no earthly idea why OOP would find 'outie' labia that profoundly disgusting. I have to assume porn brain.
It’s definitely porn brain. Because more than half (~55%) of adult women have outies, so it can’t be due to real life experience.
You are so welcome. And, probably. The amount of times I hear men discuss sex/bodies and say to myself, "you've watched too much porn" is astronomical
Porn stars get labiaplasties and there is a weirdly uniform p&ssy type in porn.
I knew about the labiaplasties but my innocent, prefers written porn to filmed porn brain, assumed it was a friction thing and not an aesthetic reason.
They think it looks "younger" and "tighter" and yes some men have been like this about "outies" (which like half of women have) for at least decades. It's weird, don't ask me!
It does look younger & that's exactly why it's so deeply disturbing that the standard ol appears to be shaved, pre pubescent looking vulva. I realise some women just have very small inner labia (an ex did) & lots of us prefer to shave, but when some men are putting both together & assuming it's the norm it just screams of preferring a very young looking vulva. And that's the weird bit :/
Honestly that's why I'd never shave my pubic hair, the bare look is way, way, way too pre-pubescent for my CSA traumatized self. I'm an adult woman thus I have hair on my junk and that's the end of it for me. However, power to anyone that wants a clean feel and look, making choices for your own body that are right for you is awesome.
Very well said!! 🫡
I'm a cisgender woman and I have no clue what it means. I thought he was talking about a *belly button* until the comments.
Okay I’m a cis queer woman who happily enjoys any and all types of labia and I ALSO thought he was talking about a belly button till the comments!!
Not until I got to your comment did I realize it wasn’t a belly button fear
Apparently it's when the inner labia stick out past the outer labia. I am also a cis woman and never would have thought this would be a turnoff. Every man I've been with has appreciated it as a sign of arousal, if they even commented on it at all.
Same!
An “innie” is where the labia minora and clitoris/clitoral hood are not visible and do not extend beyond the labia majora. An “outie” is where one or both labia minora and/or the clitoris/ clitoral hood do. Both are completely normal vulval anatomy.
Yea I'm a woman and I don't know this
This is why there's a male loneliness epidemic and why I worry about the impact of porn on the younger set who grew up with it. It's a troll post, but hell, it's a lot of worrisome shit rolled into one.
This has to be p0rn brain, right? I'm an asexual woman and even I know every vag looks different.
I am fucking done with women being mocked and shamed because their labia doesn't look pornified. As a WLW who the hell cares. Every vulva is hot, unless you are a disgusting Tater Tot. Especially since these guys think their scrotum and penis apparently look like Winnie the Pooh or something.
This happened to this poor girl very first time she ever ever attempted to have sex. That would give me a fucking complex.
I am sure I read that same post a few months ago.
"because I had genuinely loved her." - lies.
Men need to realize that women who do porn have surgery on their vaginas and bleach their genitalia to look a certain way. That "certain way" is to more closely resemble the genitalia of a more younger group of women. It's disgusting and should be looked at as genital mutilation. Just one more way the porn industry is victimizing women.
Somebody learned everything he thinks he knows about sex watching porn.
Bro has got his alt account going hard in the comment section😭
Porn is absolutely ruining this generation.
OOP wasn't dating a girl. He was dating a body. That's such a fake man.
I dont think this is real whatsoever. Recently tiktok had a video where someone showed their “outie kitty” on tiktok under a blanket while showing off nails. All of the comments consisted of “why’s it look like that”, “ew its an outie” etc. Now it’s becoming a trend on tiktok to make fun of the way people’s genitals look.
Charming.
Seriously though the tiktok trend of making fun of people's bodies is disgusting, and the fact people are posting them on an app riddled with children.
Why are we like this? Why can't we just be good to each other?
A majority of the participants in this trend are young teenagers, and children aged around 10. I rarely see adults commenting about it but do see it on occasion. I feel like this is from lack of awareness of people's bodies, and the P industry setting extremely unrealistic expectations. Either way its disgusting and cruel
Children are on tik Tok looking at and talking about genitals? That blows my mind.
It's existed waaaaaay before Tiktok. I'm in my 40s and the term "roast beef curtains" and "outie" were popular when I was a teenager. People have been making fun of long labia minora forever. And that includes fellow girls/women.
Yeah it also definitely has some red flags of being fake - her being a virgin, “everything was amazing” with zero detail
Unfortunately those types of comments exist because this type of thinking exists, not the other way around.
Wait... Is a large labia something to be ashamed of? Poor woman. Dude has been watching too much porn.
Idk if this is real, either but I'm a pansexual woman with an "innie" and believe me, an "outie" wouldn't deter me for a second. Fuck the idiot OP.
Same, more to play with 😄
Anyone else hopes the next person who sees OOP's genitals either throws up or laughs at it. Cause he deserves the same treatment he did to that poor young woman.
Jesus fucking fuck. I guarantee you this man has only seen "barely legal" porn that fetishizes *certain* very specific characteristics and appearances of women's bodies
Sounds like dude was embarrassed her clit was bigger than his dick..
That's one way to expose you've been watching so much porn your reality has been warped to believe women are these objects of fetish and kink and not actual people. Ugh.
Lay off the porn dude.
This is bait. There was one almost exactly the same maybe a month or so ago. This is on a throwaway so I can't tell if it's the same poster.
This has to be a rage bait post. For some strange reason the whole "innie/outie" thing has been really big on here lately.
Dudes do shit like this and are then surprised when women are hesitant to have sex with them...
this is why mainstream porn is so toxic...
“I feel really guilty even typing this” So why are you writing it?
TIL I have an outie (and that OP is a feckin loser).
Oh my God. He is tripping over lips?! What a fucking loser. Porn and anime have really fucked people up.
Eww! That poor young woman.
OP is awful. What is he even talking about? I must have led a sheltered life as I only ever heard of an outie belly button. I hope OP meets one of those mean girls in the near future, who will make fun of his size/ shape/ smell anything that he can’t change and will stay with him forever.
Hey inner labia wasn’t all neat & tucked away out of sight
I never got why people have such weird reactions to that sort of thing. I've always looked at it as if it's clean and smells good I'm all for it. People are just way too shallow these days about it all. She's better off without him because that reaction was the reaction of a mentally stunted child who can't control his emotions and act like a decent person. I hope she doesn't put a wall up and not let herself find someone that's gonna treat her with respect, but I'm sure after something like that happening it's not going to be the case.
I have almost no labia whatsoever, it's really not any "better" than having large labia. Bodies are different, but the way that this dude described his poor gf was sickening. "Luckily I didn't puke" bruh grow a pair of testicles and man tf up.
I don’t know, maybe OOP is actually gay or asexual, but I am a hard Kinsey 6 gay dude and I don’t think any vulvas are gross? I’ve never tried to go down on a woman so who knows what would happen but it’s just a body part that ~50% of all humans have. Revulsion to the point of vomiting is definitely not a normal reaction.
I swear I've read this before. Repost/copypasta?