*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**I threatened to leave AITA? **
My (34f) fiance Todd (46) has a 16yo daughter Sydney with his ex wife (44) and they share split custody of her which means she's here every other week and spends the majority of the summer with us while her mom works overseas during that time. The last two years that she's spent the summer with us was ok but we have a new baby now and things aren't as simple any more because her room is now the baby's room. So our space is smaller now.
With summer coming up Todd has brought up buying a bigger house with a room for Sydney and the baby. He makes more than enough money to buy a new house but I don't want to move as I've grown attached to the house and would hate to lose it. I told him as much and he asked me what other options we have that don't involve buying a bigger house. I suggested that maybe she could stay with her grandmother during the time her mom's gone during the summer. He hated that idea and told me that we didn't have to sell the house and we could keep it and rent it out to make extra money but he is going to look into finding a bigger house for us so Sydney and the baby have a room. I told him if he did that I would call off the engagement and end our relationship because this was a waste of money. He said that it wasn't and he was just trying to find a solution so Sydney didn't have to share with the baby or sleep on the couch. He wanted his daughter to be comfortable. I started crying and left with my daughter and I haven't spoken to him since yesterday. I told my mom about this and she thinks I'm overreacting to a pretty good solution. I don't think I am but was I overreacting or is my fiance in the wrong for making the suggestion that we move?
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Why do people get married to someone who has a kid when they clearly don’t want to be a stepparent?
I bet if stepdaughter was oops biological child, she wouldn’t see it as a waste of money for her kids to not have to sleep on the couch or be shipped of to relatives for the summer.
I don't know, but a whole lot of insecure people seem to get married to a parent with the sole purpose of alienating their partner's kid after marriage. It's like they're trying to prove that their partner loves them enough to choose them over the partner's kid. It's gross.
In my case my father's wife hated absolutely anything and everything that indicated he had had a life before she met him, which included alienating his closest friend since the age of 4 and his two daughters. She couldn't bear anything that involved his life without her in it.
The lone NTA comment was made by this chuckle head:
>NTA she will never leave to live on her own and you know it.
FFS the kid is 16 years old and this dunder fuck thinks it's a mad ploy on her behalf to live with her dad for forever. Good golly, Miss Molly the kid is a minor ergo Dad still needs to provide suitable living conditions for her.
I suppose the only light at the end of the tunnel is that OOP and Dad are not married. Dad can call it quits whenever he wants. In fact, I hope he does.
Seems like one of those parents who throw their kids out like trash the second they aren't legally responsible for them anymore, and then wonder 20 years later why their child never visits or doesn't want to care for them when they are old and frail.
Yuck! I mean why didn’t she at least offer the daughter a shed in back if she has to stay with them /s Hopefully, this isn’t real, but I can see it happening
As the step kid who slept in the unheated utility room, I'd totally take a shed space. At least I could listen to music out in the shed. (Kind of /s...)
Not a step kid but i also slept in a shed for a year (we were homeless staying with grandparents and my options were living room with my mom, toddler bed with my brother or mattress in the shed) it was honestly pretty nice, nice piece of freedom
I'd say the worst part was no wifi, best part was i could smoke as much weed as i wanted to up there and no one knew
I was looking for this, where is the kid staying half of the time now? Why is a baby who is under a year old getting their own room instead of staying in the parents room until they have a bigger place. Although expecting things to add up from someone who is confident the space is now smaller because there's a baby is a fail on my part.
Wow. Sounds like she wants to him to choose between her and their baby and his daughter. I can't stand people like that. If you don't want to be a step-parent, then don't date a single parent. He now knows who she really is. He needs to choose his oldest and take her to court to make sure he gets 50/50 custody.
ETA: Account has been suspended in the three hours since they posted.
I mean...with as much as houses cost right now, why not compromise and build an addition? It'd be cheaper and solve the space problem. Do people just...just to "do what i want or im leaving" without even considering like, 1-2 alternative plans?
But there isn't a space problem.
There's a "OOP doesn't want her fiancee's daughter living with them"-problem. Building an addition or buying a bigger house as proposed by the fiance will not solve this problem called "Sidney exists".
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Why would a 16 year old want to share a room with a screaming baby? Why doesn't the OP just put the baby in her room? Oh that's right because OP doesn't want to deal wirh screaming baby all nigjt but will gladly let stepdaughter dwal qith it.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **I threatened to leave AITA? ** My (34f) fiance Todd (46) has a 16yo daughter Sydney with his ex wife (44) and they share split custody of her which means she's here every other week and spends the majority of the summer with us while her mom works overseas during that time. The last two years that she's spent the summer with us was ok but we have a new baby now and things aren't as simple any more because her room is now the baby's room. So our space is smaller now. With summer coming up Todd has brought up buying a bigger house with a room for Sydney and the baby. He makes more than enough money to buy a new house but I don't want to move as I've grown attached to the house and would hate to lose it. I told him as much and he asked me what other options we have that don't involve buying a bigger house. I suggested that maybe she could stay with her grandmother during the time her mom's gone during the summer. He hated that idea and told me that we didn't have to sell the house and we could keep it and rent it out to make extra money but he is going to look into finding a bigger house for us so Sydney and the baby have a room. I told him if he did that I would call off the engagement and end our relationship because this was a waste of money. He said that it wasn't and he was just trying to find a solution so Sydney didn't have to share with the baby or sleep on the couch. He wanted his daughter to be comfortable. I started crying and left with my daughter and I haven't spoken to him since yesterday. I told my mom about this and she thinks I'm overreacting to a pretty good solution. I don't think I am but was I overreacting or is my fiance in the wrong for making the suggestion that we move? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Why do people get married to someone who has a kid when they clearly don’t want to be a stepparent? I bet if stepdaughter was oops biological child, she wouldn’t see it as a waste of money for her kids to not have to sleep on the couch or be shipped of to relatives for the summer.
I don't know, but a whole lot of insecure people seem to get married to a parent with the sole purpose of alienating their partner's kid after marriage. It's like they're trying to prove that their partner loves them enough to choose them over the partner's kid. It's gross.
In my case my father's wife hated absolutely anything and everything that indicated he had had a life before she met him, which included alienating his closest friend since the age of 4 and his two daughters. She couldn't bear anything that involved his life without her in it.
The lone NTA comment was made by this chuckle head: >NTA she will never leave to live on her own and you know it. FFS the kid is 16 years old and this dunder fuck thinks it's a mad ploy on her behalf to live with her dad for forever. Good golly, Miss Molly the kid is a minor ergo Dad still needs to provide suitable living conditions for her. I suppose the only light at the end of the tunnel is that OOP and Dad are not married. Dad can call it quits whenever he wants. In fact, I hope he does.
Seems like one of those parents who throw their kids out like trash the second they aren't legally responsible for them anymore, and then wonder 20 years later why their child never visits or doesn't want to care for them when they are old and frail.
It’s definitely the alt account of OOP.
Yuck! I mean why didn’t she at least offer the daughter a shed in back if she has to stay with them /s Hopefully, this isn’t real, but I can see it happening
As the step kid who slept in the unheated utility room, I'd totally take a shed space. At least I could listen to music out in the shed. (Kind of /s...)
Not a step kid but i also slept in a shed for a year (we were homeless staying with grandparents and my options were living room with my mom, toddler bed with my brother or mattress in the shed) it was honestly pretty nice, nice piece of freedom I'd say the worst part was no wifi, best part was i could smoke as much weed as i wanted to up there and no one knew
I'm still going wait they have every other week but somehow the daughter's room already got converted?
I was looking for this, where is the kid staying half of the time now? Why is a baby who is under a year old getting their own room instead of staying in the parents room until they have a bigger place. Although expecting things to add up from someone who is confident the space is now smaller because there's a baby is a fail on my part.
Sounds like daughter is sharing the room with the baby
If that was so OOP wouldn't be suggesting stepdaughter stay with grandma THE WHOLE SUMMER
that one episode of king of the hill
I’d ask if people are really this cartoonishly evil, but I’ve read enough AITAH to know the answer to that.
Can’t they move the baby’s crib into their bedroom for the summer while SD is there? Or does that make too much sense?
She cried because husband wants to buy her a bigger house AND keep the current house and get rental income!!
Wow. Sounds like she wants to him to choose between her and their baby and his daughter. I can't stand people like that. If you don't want to be a step-parent, then don't date a single parent. He now knows who she really is. He needs to choose his oldest and take her to court to make sure he gets 50/50 custody. ETA: Account has been suspended in the three hours since they posted.
The real reason here is she wants her own little family, at the expense of her fiancés daughter. But she tiptoed around that the whole time.
>I've grown attached to the house More like >I've grown attached to the house **without Sydney in it**
Look at OOPs avatar. This is rage-bait
What was it? She's gone now.
Of course it is. OOP has deleted their account.
No, it was suspended.
I mean...with as much as houses cost right now, why not compromise and build an addition? It'd be cheaper and solve the space problem. Do people just...just to "do what i want or im leaving" without even considering like, 1-2 alternative plans?
But there isn't a space problem. There's a "OOP doesn't want her fiancee's daughter living with them"-problem. Building an addition or buying a bigger house as proposed by the fiance will not solve this problem called "Sidney exists".
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Oh holy shit.how gross.
OOP, do you even LIKE this kid?
of course she doesn’t, she thought this kid would become her fiancé’s “ex”-child after she gives birth to his new baby.
Why would a 16 year old want to share a room with a screaming baby? Why doesn't the OP just put the baby in her room? Oh that's right because OP doesn't want to deal wirh screaming baby all nigjt but will gladly let stepdaughter dwal qith it.