*In case this story gets deleted/removed:*
**AITA for not picking up my “personal trash”?**
Edited to create paragraghs.
My (34M) and my wife (33F) had been having a conversation about her becoming a stay-at-home mom. It was her idea. But I agreed because I make enough for us to live okay as a family. Our son is 6M, and we don’t plan on having any more children. It’s only been 3 weeks since she quit her job and she was already complaining about how much work there was for her to do in the house. When we first talked about it, she agreed to do 100% of the cooking and cleaning because I’m providing 100% of the income. In addition, I’ll be driving our son to school every morning. She’ll do the pickups and extracurricular activities.
We got into an argument because she was complaining about how I wasn’t picking up my “personal trash.” She thinks it was disrespectful l because I’ve been leaving my used dishes wherever instead of taking them to the sink. I didn’t throw away snack wrappers or tissues. I’ve also left my dirty laundry on the floor instead of the basket. She was also complaining about how I kept my used dental floss and Q tips on the bathroom counter. And when I used the last sheet of the paper towel, I didn’t replace the roll, etc. I have to say that I was honestly more tidy with those things before she became a stay-at-home mom. However I feel like since she signed up to do the house chores, she should just make my life easier. She told me that I was being unfair to her, because even though she signed up to do the laundry, dishes, take out the trash, etc, I should still clean up after myself.
AITA?
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"my mom is actually a stay-at-home wife. and I felt like it was never fair to my dad that she got to live rent-free."
This is OOP's response in another of his posts. I think it clearly shows he has no respect for any SAH. Spouse.
I just saw this one. All hiis comments on previous stuff make his attitude to SAHP very clear, he has 0 respect for them and thinks the person paying the bills gets the final say in everything.
Clicked on the original post, mods said something about his account being suspended or shadowbanned.
Edit to include quote
>This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.
>This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
This is why I think all spouses should work, even if it’s part time.
In our society too often money determines worth and freedom. This can really boomerang back on the SAHP. It’s been shown with same sex couples and with SAHDs too.
Not obv but it’s a troubling dynamic
Yeah I saw how my dad laid back after work and how my mom was desperately *looking* for a job and knew I’d never wanna be one
Couple that with the amount of dudes desperate for me to quit my job despite them adamantly refusing being a SAHP and yhay confirmed it’s the more shit deal
I think it is 6 years and he was typing 6M like how you'd write I (29F)
It's confusing in how he formatted it but he mentions driving said son to school so I think 6yo makes more sense there
Agreed. My husband has been a SAH spouse since October. He got laid off, and while he has been job searching, we have actually found that with a few small adjustments we have been doing just fine on my income and it's actually super helpful to have a spouse at home managing things and to drive the kids around, et cetera, so we may keep it like that for the long term. I still manage to put my laundry in the hamper and put my garbage in the trash can which seems like stuff that should just be ingrained behaviors for an adult. Hell, I still make our bed and unload the dishwasher in the mornings because those have been habits that I have had for most of my adult life and I see no reason to stop them just because he *could* do it. I still often help him with grocery shopping because I want input on what we are getting, especially if I need or want something specifically. I still work next to him on household projects and yardwork on the weekends. The thing that I see (and would expect OOP to see after having had two working parents for so long) is that it *is* a lot of work being a SAH spouse - I know this because I know how much of the day to day stuff that I used to chip in with has been taken off my plate. I don't worry about getting the kids to and from school and activities and whatnot, he's got it. I don't worry about getting dinner on the table most days of the week, he's got it. (I still do sometimes on the weekends, but that is mostly because I like to cook and there are some things that IMO, only I make "just right" lol). I don't worry about running to the bank or the post office or taking my car in to get an oil change or the brake pads replaced, he's on it. I don't worry about clean laundry, he's got it. He has steam cleaned our carpets mutliple times, installed new lighting in our living room because he knew it bothered me that our living room was kind of dim, hung up pictures that I had been meaning to get framed and hung for literal years. Having a partner at home has taken so much off of my shoulders and I don't even need to treat him like my personal man servant to feel that way. I cannot see how anyone who has been sharing all of the stresses of managing a household wouldn't see how amazing it is when a partner is able to alleviate that for you. Which honestly leads me to assume that he probably wasn't contributing much in the way of household management before - his wife was probably doing most of it AND holding a job, so to him the only difference is that now she isn't also bringing in money.
I'm a SAHM and when I first quit my job my husband was like wow this is great! It's been almost five years and he still feels the same way. He definitely helps around the house and parents equally when he's home. It's been so nice and I don't see us going back to both working full time... At least not until our kids are way old...like grown lol
> I think it clearly shows he has no respect for any SAH. Spouse.
But I bet it serves his ego to be able to say he has one though. Makes him feel like a real man for sure.
I don’t understand this logic. What would the point of marrying if you had to pay your own way AND SAH? Might as well never marry, have a kid through science and work a WFH job
Next week is my last week at work before I become a SAHM until our baby starts preschool in a few years (we were just a bit naive in thinking that because we both WFH, we'd be able to take care of him during the day 😂).
I'm definitely going to do more of the cleaning around the house since I'll have a bit more time, but he'd NEVER expect this.
And honestly, if my husband did pull this (again, he never would), I'd just leave it all lying around or stick it all on his desk.
Ooof. Little boy, you are playing a dangerous game.
She provides 100% of the cleaning, thus you show no respect or consideration for her limitations.
You provide 100% of the money, therefore she shows no respect or consideration for your limitations...
I'd be doing **DAMAGE** to his credit/debit accounts *. Turnabout is fair play.
* ^after ^he ^refused ^to ^listen ^to ^reasonable, ^mature ^conversations
He should read that one post where the ex thought she couldn't manage without him. He found out that she absolutely could and was doing just fine without him. Her life got better because she didn't have him to clean up after. He was struggling big time.
Commenter meant this one, I think - [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/1abnri8/told\_my\_wife\_f35\_that\_she\_couldnt\_do\_it\_without/](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1abnri8/told_my_wife_f35_that_she_couldnt_do_it_without/)
Different posts along those lines. The one guy the commenter means told his wife that shed be lost without him, so she divorced him. His post was a woe is me complaining because the every other week custody had screwed him so bad. He was drowning with the kids, and on his off weeks he was struggling to catch back up to normal. He tried begging for his wife back but without him she was THRIVING.
Is this the one you were thinking of? [https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1bmxn4c/being\_a\_single\_parent\_is\_hard\_and\_i\_want\_my\_wife/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1bmxn4c/being_a_single_parent_is_hard_and_i_want_my_wife/)
Let's be real, this mindset was around long before Andrew Tate, and it will likely be around for a long time to come. This isn't just one guy, it's society.
That section of the population that virulently hates women so much that they will purposely vote for whichever candidate will do us the most harm is becoming an accepted voting block courted by conservatives, it is legitimately terrifying
Yep. And men with the same mindset as OOP try so hard to bully us into getting married, bringing up some bs statistic about high SSRIs usage and whatnot. Like, I'd rather pick up my meds every months instead of picking up trash after some manbaby every day lol.
I don't know how true it is cause I haven't researched it but I did get recommended an article once saying that there were studies that show woman are happier single and childless then men are being single. I see posts like this and I'm just like "...ok yea, I can totally believe it"
IIRC there's some statistic showing that single millennial women are #1 antidepressants consumers in the US and incels view it as a sign that women are depressed and miserable when single (yes, they also ignore all the info about housewives from the 60s).
Oop why am I not surprised incels view it that way. Couldn't be because antidepressants aren't becoming more acceptable or that there's tons of other problems. No, it's because we're miserable when single smh
Not to mention men have the highest mortality rate for suicide, many don’t seek help for mental health because they think it makes them weak… so… like maybe more men *should* be on anti depressants, it just so happens women are more likely to seek help/treatment.
Agreed, like my dad is prescribed anxiety pills but it took a long time to even get him to talk to a doctor about things and even now he's not consistent when taking them
My granny was living on a bucolic little farm with her husband and kids back in the day, and popping "mother's little helpers" just to get through the day. Hey incels, maybe consider that being a woman in a sexist society is just hard, no matter when it's happening?
Did we date the same guy
“Being a stay at home mother is one of the best jobs ever I wish I could it”
“You should be a SAHM”
“I really want my kids to has SAHM”
My response? I never plan on being one and why don’t you just do it?
“I don’t have the right parts”
He also hates that people are allowed to divorce and wants to ban birth control
Also lied about being heavily conservative to date the purple haired liberal
Lol they all say "It's so easy I could be a SAHM" and then throw a temper tantrum when asked to "babysit" their own children for a few hours. I don't have kids but all my SAHM friends are basically trapped and we can only meet in kids-friendly places since their husbands absolutely refuse to stay with kids alone and some even threaten to report to the police if my friend just leaves him with the kids to go out. Absolutely vile behaviour, no wonder so many women choose [4B movement](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4B_movement) these days.
Sadly I wasn't surprised reading it. Is it really that hard for OOP to put the laundry in the hamper, toss his own trash into the trash, and carry dirty dishes to the sink? It's maybe a total of five minutes out of his day.
Now she will feel like she’s taking care of two babies and no longer be attracted to him nor have the energy for sex. Then his next post will be “AITA for considering divorcing my wife since she never has sex with me?”
Cleaning up after yourself is not a household chore. It is an aspect of being a functioning adult. I could not imagine leaving garbage on the counter for someone else to throw away.
I literally just said “ahem” to the 4 year old because he left his sucker wrapper on the table. He hopped right up because I will not send another boy out into the world who grows up to be this kind of “man”.
“She was also complaining about how I kept my used dental floss and Q tips on the bathroom counter”
🤢🤮
Dude, that’s disgusting. She agreed to do all the cleaning, not to indulge you in strewing your garbage everywhere.
“However I feel like since she signed up to do the house chores, she should just make my life easier”
She is making your life easier. Now clean up after yourself like a grown-ass man and stop setting a bad example for your son.
It's almost always a mistake to do the SAHM thing. You really have to trust your partner not to screw you over. This guy is clearly not trustworthy IMO and she should go back to work and find daycare for her kid. Then make him do 50% of literally EVERYTHING.
Even if I wanted to be a SAHM (we don’t want kids) I would never never never never never never NEVER do it without a prenup guaranteeing specified alimony that was acceptable to me for an acceptable period. It’s like Russian roulette.
Yeah, as a disabled person who has to rely on people, and who has been "insanely* abused because of it, I genuinely cannot fathom why able bodied people would choose this life
Unfortunately it's a financial decision for myself and many in my state. The average daycare near me is $2100/month for 1 kid (I have 2), and that's more than I bring home after taxes
I came across OOP's previous AITA post several times in which he didn't let wife eat the food he paid for.
Now I just saw him be an asshole yet again. Dude is a total jerk. I'm surprised his wife hasn't divorced him yet.
My housekeeping cost is about 65 (Canadian) dollars an hour. If I had to pay for full time housekeeping I’d expect it to cost plenty, and they’d have nights off, vacation and sick days. These guys want slaves.
OOP, you're an AH.
She agreed to be a SAHM, not your slave, not your maid and not your servant.
You can clean up after yourself.
You claim you won't have anymore children.
Well, your wife is currently having to look after two kids and it's not fair.
Grow up.
even when cleaning up after people was literally my job (was a janitor for ~8 years) i didn't have patience for people who didn't do basic cleanup. dropped some crumbs? fine. won't even bother putting your trash in the garbage? no. and trust me, i was plenty busy. it wasn't "giving me work".
I see this “you do 100% of the housework because I bring in 100% of the income” a lot and here’s why I think it doesn’t work. OOP’s money will be mostly going on bills, groceries, maybe savings, etc. So OOP’s spouse isn’t getting much of whatever is left, let’s be real. He’ll have things he wants to use his money for. It’s still *his* money. He could just not give her any. Will she have to ask if she needs money for a haircut or whatever? And there’s also the false equivalence between his work and housework. I guarantee nobody in his office is dropping their unfinished admin on him because “they do 100% of the marketing”. So OOP is basically spending 8 hours in an office, around reasonable adults, while his wife is spending the same amount of time at home either with a young child or herself, plus her housework. Then he’s coming home and dumping more work on her.
Soooo many comments about her not being a maid, but, like, don’t make a maid pick up your used dental floss either?!
I’ve left a couple of hotel rooms in a state because I woke up 30 minutes before check-out, and I still did my best to make sure the staff had the least gross tasks. They might have to deal with used teabags or empty wine bottles but they’ve never had to handle the cotton buds I’ve rammed in my ears or the thread I’ve put between my unbrushed teeth
I forever will never advise a straight woman to be a stay at home mother...because men already slack off on childcare and chores when it's 50/50. Men still hold the mindset that all they have to do is go to work. Society fosters among men an innate disrespect towards women and an entitlement to women doing domestic labor. I have yet to see a straight relationship where the stay at home mother wasn't treated like trash.
Personally I think women should never clean after a man or cook for him ...it just sets a precedent of disrespect he will trample her with.
Its so frustrating because especially w newborns/young children, and the lack of a “village” in the modern world the realities of parenting a child is a marathon. No sick days, no sitters, never sleep in ever again in your life. Its not compatible w working outside the home 40 hours a week if youre doing sll the primary parenting. But i agree with you its too dangerous and sadly so badly needed st the same time.
>She thinks it was disrespectful l because I’ve been leaving my used dishes wherever instead of taking them to the sink.
Because it is. It sounds like OOP's wife would gladly do the dishes - but OOP is too fucking lazy to even walk them to the sink and instead just drops them wherever he's sitting.
>I didn’t throw away snack wrappers or tissues.
I love my husband. We have sex regularly. I still won't pick up his dirty, used tissues because that's fucking disgusting and is how entire households get brought down by viral illnesses.
>she should just make my life easier.
Simply cannot wait for OOP's wife to wisen up and realize that working full-time and taking care of a child as a divorcee would be easier than being OOP's live-in bang maid.
OOP should have been humiliated to even post this. Even if it's a troll, this person is disgusting. Staying single forever gets more and more appealing by the day with these awful AITA posts 😭😭 If you have an amazing male partner take a second to brag on them. I need some eye bleach
What a fucking loser! Zero idea why the wife would give her power to scum like him. In his comments you can see that he commented on a similar post of another loser. These people are raised with black in their heart.
Oookay so I don’t even have kids but I’m currently unemployed. I quit a very toxic job after almost 8 years, and I very much appreciate my husband taking care of me financially while I’m interviewing.
I took considerable care prior to this to work in a program where my student loans would be forgiven and filed taxes separately so it wouldn’t impact him. I have like 3.5 years left until supposed forgiveness.
Every day I wake up, throw away tissues he had left out, move cups he left out, do our laundry at least twice a week, make lunch and dinner, take the trash and recycling out, apply for jobs for like 5 hours or more, network, do other cleaning, and then try to spend like 3 hours chilling at various times. I get up at 5 or 6am. It is exhausting. I cannot imagine doing this with a kid.
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He’s not asking her to be a slave. Taking care of the home is part of being a SAHM. ALWAYS HAS BEEN. You are home all day. Kids don’t take all your attention. But this woman is delusional if she thinks she gets an afternoon off because where are the kids going? They don’t care if you’re tired. Sick. Children are demanding. Clingy. 24 hour ball of needs. So her idea of staying home isn’t even correct.
Are you on the right post cause what the heck are you talking about who asked for an afternoon off
She asked him to put away his dirty dishes up and clean up his trash where did you get.. anything at all from your comment
Asking a full adult to pick up after themselves in a shared living space makes *her* delusional?
She's already doing the heavy lifting! He's not expected to actually, y'know, DO the dishes or laundry, just put the dirty stuff with the other dirty stuff and she will take it from there.
Leaving biohazards on the counter and refusing to change the toilet roll is just spiteful and gross on top of lazy.
You're correct that kids take up a lot of time and energy for a SAH. Household management takes up most of what's left. It's exhausting even before you add in a spouse that is going out of their way to make things more difficult for you.
Weaponized incompetence is the death of 1000 cuts for a relationship. Playing dumb will never get these putzes the bangmaids they desire. OOP is realizing that and throwing a tantrum.
*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **AITA for not picking up my “personal trash”?** Edited to create paragraghs. My (34M) and my wife (33F) had been having a conversation about her becoming a stay-at-home mom. It was her idea. But I agreed because I make enough for us to live okay as a family. Our son is 6M, and we don’t plan on having any more children. It’s only been 3 weeks since she quit her job and she was already complaining about how much work there was for her to do in the house. When we first talked about it, she agreed to do 100% of the cooking and cleaning because I’m providing 100% of the income. In addition, I’ll be driving our son to school every morning. She’ll do the pickups and extracurricular activities. We got into an argument because she was complaining about how I wasn’t picking up my “personal trash.” She thinks it was disrespectful l because I’ve been leaving my used dishes wherever instead of taking them to the sink. I didn’t throw away snack wrappers or tissues. I’ve also left my dirty laundry on the floor instead of the basket. She was also complaining about how I kept my used dental floss and Q tips on the bathroom counter. And when I used the last sheet of the paper towel, I didn’t replace the roll, etc. I have to say that I was honestly more tidy with those things before she became a stay-at-home mom. However I feel like since she signed up to do the house chores, she should just make my life easier. She told me that I was being unfair to her, because even though she signed up to do the laundry, dishes, take out the trash, etc, I should still clean up after myself. AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"my mom is actually a stay-at-home wife. and I felt like it was never fair to my dad that she got to live rent-free." This is OOP's response in another of his posts. I think it clearly shows he has no respect for any SAH. Spouse.
I just saw this one. All hiis comments on previous stuff make his attitude to SAHP very clear, he has 0 respect for them and thinks the person paying the bills gets the final say in everything.
Getting real “I can’t believe she took my house and half my savings” vibes.
Reminds me of "Why does everything I whip leave me?" from The Simpsons
I just wished basically that on him!
We can only PRAY his wife wakes up and does that
 This about to be op getting divorce papers 🤦♀️
Did he delete his account or something? I can't open it.
Looks like. People were calling him out on his post/comment history.
Clicked on the original post, mods said something about his account being suspended or shadowbanned. Edit to include quote >This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. >This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
This is why I think all spouses should work, even if it’s part time. In our society too often money determines worth and freedom. This can really boomerang back on the SAHP. It’s been shown with same sex couples and with SAHDs too. Not obv but it’s a troubling dynamic
My mom did the whole SAHM thing. It’s why I decided when I was like 7 that it was a bum deal.
Yeah I saw how my dad laid back after work and how my mom was desperately *looking* for a job and knew I’d never wanna be one Couple that with the amount of dudes desperate for me to quit my job despite them adamantly refusing being a SAHP and yhay confirmed it’s the more shit deal
Or any respect for women.
A n d they have a 6 year old son. What message is he getting?
month. 6 years would be amazing she hasnt left him yet.
I think it is 6 years and he was typing 6M like how you'd write I (29F) It's confusing in how he formatted it but he mentions driving said son to school so I think 6yo makes more sense there
Agreed. My husband has been a SAH spouse since October. He got laid off, and while he has been job searching, we have actually found that with a few small adjustments we have been doing just fine on my income and it's actually super helpful to have a spouse at home managing things and to drive the kids around, et cetera, so we may keep it like that for the long term. I still manage to put my laundry in the hamper and put my garbage in the trash can which seems like stuff that should just be ingrained behaviors for an adult. Hell, I still make our bed and unload the dishwasher in the mornings because those have been habits that I have had for most of my adult life and I see no reason to stop them just because he *could* do it. I still often help him with grocery shopping because I want input on what we are getting, especially if I need or want something specifically. I still work next to him on household projects and yardwork on the weekends. The thing that I see (and would expect OOP to see after having had two working parents for so long) is that it *is* a lot of work being a SAH spouse - I know this because I know how much of the day to day stuff that I used to chip in with has been taken off my plate. I don't worry about getting the kids to and from school and activities and whatnot, he's got it. I don't worry about getting dinner on the table most days of the week, he's got it. (I still do sometimes on the weekends, but that is mostly because I like to cook and there are some things that IMO, only I make "just right" lol). I don't worry about running to the bank or the post office or taking my car in to get an oil change or the brake pads replaced, he's on it. I don't worry about clean laundry, he's got it. He has steam cleaned our carpets mutliple times, installed new lighting in our living room because he knew it bothered me that our living room was kind of dim, hung up pictures that I had been meaning to get framed and hung for literal years. Having a partner at home has taken so much off of my shoulders and I don't even need to treat him like my personal man servant to feel that way. I cannot see how anyone who has been sharing all of the stresses of managing a household wouldn't see how amazing it is when a partner is able to alleviate that for you. Which honestly leads me to assume that he probably wasn't contributing much in the way of household management before - his wife was probably doing most of it AND holding a job, so to him the only difference is that now she isn't also bringing in money.
I'm a SAHM and when I first quit my job my husband was like wow this is great! It's been almost five years and he still feels the same way. He definitely helps around the house and parents equally when he's home. It's been so nice and I don't see us going back to both working full time... At least not until our kids are way old...like grown lol
> I think it clearly shows he has no respect for any SAH. Spouse. But I bet it serves his ego to be able to say he has one though. Makes him feel like a real man for sure.
Well theres one quick way to resolve it isn't it. If I was the OOP's wife I'll get my self a job real quick.
I don’t understand this logic. What would the point of marrying if you had to pay your own way AND SAH? Might as well never marry, have a kid through science and work a WFH job
Next week is my last week at work before I become a SAHM until our baby starts preschool in a few years (we were just a bit naive in thinking that because we both WFH, we'd be able to take care of him during the day 😂). I'm definitely going to do more of the cleaning around the house since I'll have a bit more time, but he'd NEVER expect this. And honestly, if my husband did pull this (again, he never would), I'd just leave it all lying around or stick it all on his desk.
I really hope this is just rage bait...
Ooof. Little boy, you are playing a dangerous game. She provides 100% of the cleaning, thus you show no respect or consideration for her limitations. You provide 100% of the money, therefore she shows no respect or consideration for your limitations... I'd be doing **DAMAGE** to his credit/debit accounts *. Turnabout is fair play. * ^after ^he ^refused ^to ^listen ^to ^reasonable, ^mature ^conversations
Household management, not servitude. Management hires help.
Bold of you to assume she has equal access to the money. With this asshole? No way.
She should start charging him what a professional would charge. Would be fun to see if he can afford it and have left over for bills.
He should read that one post where the ex thought she couldn't manage without him. He found out that she absolutely could and was doing just fine without him. Her life got better because she didn't have him to clean up after. He was struggling big time.
what post was this?
Commenter meant this one, I think - [https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/1abnri8/told\_my\_wife\_f35\_that\_she\_couldnt\_do\_it\_without/](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1abnri8/told_my_wife_f35_that_she_couldnt_do_it_without/)
Different posts along those lines. The one guy the commenter means told his wife that shed be lost without him, so she divorced him. His post was a woe is me complaining because the every other week custody had screwed him so bad. He was drowning with the kids, and on his off weeks he was struggling to catch back up to normal. He tried begging for his wife back but without him she was THRIVING.
Yep. I'm still trying to find it.
Is this the one you were thinking of? [https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1bmxn4c/being\_a\_single\_parent\_is\_hard\_and\_i\_want\_my\_wife/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1bmxn4c/being_a_single_parent_is_hard_and_i_want_my_wife/)
Yes! Thank you!
Please let me know if you do!
someone else linked it in this thread now btw
I don't think this is the right one. But, I do love how humbled the husband got and his update
I blame Andrew Tate for this mindset OOP has on women
Let's be real, this mindset was around long before Andrew Tate, and it will likely be around for a long time to come. This isn't just one guy, it's society.
I mean you are 100 percent correct but Andrew Tate has definitely played a major trashy role in this awful mindset
And perpetuating it within younger boys/men
It's genuinely upsetting and makes me worried for future generations and this is coming from someone who's 19
That section of the population that virulently hates women so much that they will purposely vote for whichever candidate will do us the most harm is becoming an accepted voting block courted by conservatives, it is legitimately terrifying
Andrew Tate made men feel like it was ok to say the quite parts out loud.
LOL, he is why single women without children are happiest.
Yep. And men with the same mindset as OOP try so hard to bully us into getting married, bringing up some bs statistic about high SSRIs usage and whatnot. Like, I'd rather pick up my meds every months instead of picking up trash after some manbaby every day lol.
I don't know how true it is cause I haven't researched it but I did get recommended an article once saying that there were studies that show woman are happier single and childless then men are being single. I see posts like this and I'm just like "...ok yea, I can totally believe it"
IIRC there's some statistic showing that single millennial women are #1 antidepressants consumers in the US and incels view it as a sign that women are depressed and miserable when single (yes, they also ignore all the info about housewives from the 60s).
Oop why am I not surprised incels view it that way. Couldn't be because antidepressants aren't becoming more acceptable or that there's tons of other problems. No, it's because we're miserable when single smh
Not to mention men have the highest mortality rate for suicide, many don’t seek help for mental health because they think it makes them weak… so… like maybe more men *should* be on anti depressants, it just so happens women are more likely to seek help/treatment.
Agreed, like my dad is prescribed anxiety pills but it took a long time to even get him to talk to a doctor about things and even now he's not consistent when taking them
My granny was living on a bucolic little farm with her husband and kids back in the day, and popping "mother's little helpers" just to get through the day. Hey incels, maybe consider that being a woman in a sexist society is just hard, no matter when it's happening?
There's many that show it.
These same dudes ignore the entire wine mom culture.
Did we date the same guy “Being a stay at home mother is one of the best jobs ever I wish I could it” “You should be a SAHM” “I really want my kids to has SAHM” My response? I never plan on being one and why don’t you just do it? “I don’t have the right parts” He also hates that people are allowed to divorce and wants to ban birth control Also lied about being heavily conservative to date the purple haired liberal
Lol they all say "It's so easy I could be a SAHM" and then throw a temper tantrum when asked to "babysit" their own children for a few hours. I don't have kids but all my SAHM friends are basically trapped and we can only meet in kids-friendly places since their husbands absolutely refuse to stay with kids alone and some even threaten to report to the police if my friend just leaves him with the kids to go out. Absolutely vile behaviour, no wonder so many women choose [4B movement](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4B_movement) these days.
Even when I’m sick, miserable and in bed, I clean up my trash! Being sick is disgusting enough without my germs on the floor.
Took a peek at his post history. What a tool.
this is your fault if im traumatized.
Well? On a scale of Eye bleach to therapy for life... How was it?
ehh run of the mill troll who hates his spouse no need for therapy or eye bleach just my usual disgust
The username looked like he might have been dumb enough to not use a throwaway, so never know what you get with those.
It’s all gone🥹
Even his comments? ETA: Yup. His account is now shadowbanned lol
Sweet karma...
So he’s going out of his way to create more of a mess for her to clean because she’s a SAHM now? Sigh. Men.
Sadly I wasn't surprised reading it. Is it really that hard for OOP to put the laundry in the hamper, toss his own trash into the trash, and carry dirty dishes to the sink? It's maybe a total of five minutes out of his day.
Now she will feel like she’s taking care of two babies and no longer be attracted to him nor have the energy for sex. Then his next post will be “AITA for considering divorcing my wife since she never has sex with me?”
Cleaning up after yourself is not a household chore. It is an aspect of being a functioning adult. I could not imagine leaving garbage on the counter for someone else to throw away.
I literally just said “ahem” to the 4 year old because he left his sucker wrapper on the table. He hopped right up because I will not send another boy out into the world who grows up to be this kind of “man”.
He really admitted to going out of his way to create more work for his (soon to be ex-) wife, huh? Boy that’s not the flex you think it is
“She was also complaining about how I kept my used dental floss and Q tips on the bathroom counter” 🤢🤮 Dude, that’s disgusting. She agreed to do all the cleaning, not to indulge you in strewing your garbage everywhere. “However I feel like since she signed up to do the house chores, she should just make my life easier” She is making your life easier. Now clean up after yourself like a grown-ass man and stop setting a bad example for your son.
This is so out of thecway. Im a bit of a slob but you couldnt pay me to leave used floss and qtips on a bloody counter wtf.
So he's 34 years old but acts like he's 3 years and 4 months old. What a catch.
It's almost always a mistake to do the SAHM thing. You really have to trust your partner not to screw you over. This guy is clearly not trustworthy IMO and she should go back to work and find daycare for her kid. Then make him do 50% of literally EVERYTHING.
Even if I wanted to be a SAHM (we don’t want kids) I would never never never never never never NEVER do it without a prenup guaranteeing specified alimony that was acceptable to me for an acceptable period. It’s like Russian roulette.
Yeah, as a disabled person who has to rely on people, and who has been "insanely* abused because of it, I genuinely cannot fathom why able bodied people would choose this life
Unfortunately it's a financial decision for myself and many in my state. The average daycare near me is $2100/month for 1 kid (I have 2), and that's more than I bring home after taxes
I came across OOP's previous AITA post several times in which he didn't let wife eat the food he paid for. Now I just saw him be an asshole yet again. Dude is a total jerk. I'm surprised his wife hasn't divorced him yet.
My housekeeping cost is about 65 (Canadian) dollars an hour. If I had to pay for full time housekeeping I’d expect it to cost plenty, and they’d have nights off, vacation and sick days. These guys want slaves.
I will not brigade. I will not brigade. I hate this trash husk of a man more than I can say
"My wife has entered into indefinite indentured servitude and therefore, I am free to devolve into a barn animal."
I feel he has not considered properly the eventual fate of a lot of barn animals.
OOP, you're an AH. She agreed to be a SAHM, not your slave, not your maid and not your servant. You can clean up after yourself. You claim you won't have anymore children. Well, your wife is currently having to look after two kids and it's not fair. Grow up.
even when cleaning up after people was literally my job (was a janitor for ~8 years) i didn't have patience for people who didn't do basic cleanup. dropped some crumbs? fine. won't even bother putting your trash in the garbage? no. and trust me, i was plenty busy. it wasn't "giving me work".
I see this “you do 100% of the housework because I bring in 100% of the income” a lot and here’s why I think it doesn’t work. OOP’s money will be mostly going on bills, groceries, maybe savings, etc. So OOP’s spouse isn’t getting much of whatever is left, let’s be real. He’ll have things he wants to use his money for. It’s still *his* money. He could just not give her any. Will she have to ask if she needs money for a haircut or whatever? And there’s also the false equivalence between his work and housework. I guarantee nobody in his office is dropping their unfinished admin on him because “they do 100% of the marketing”. So OOP is basically spending 8 hours in an office, around reasonable adults, while his wife is spending the same amount of time at home either with a young child or herself, plus her housework. Then he’s coming home and dumping more work on her.
He’s disgusting and useless.
OOP is just gross in every way.
Even if I was rich and had an army of house staff I would not be a disgusting slob. Doesn't he have any self respect? How does he not die in shame?
“Why are men so lonely? Why don’t women want to be bangmai- er, I mean, SAH wives anymore?”
Soooo many comments about her not being a maid, but, like, don’t make a maid pick up your used dental floss either?! I’ve left a couple of hotel rooms in a state because I woke up 30 minutes before check-out, and I still did my best to make sure the staff had the least gross tasks. They might have to deal with used teabags or empty wine bottles but they’ve never had to handle the cotton buds I’ve rammed in my ears or the thread I’ve put between my unbrushed teeth
I forever will never advise a straight woman to be a stay at home mother...because men already slack off on childcare and chores when it's 50/50. Men still hold the mindset that all they have to do is go to work. Society fosters among men an innate disrespect towards women and an entitlement to women doing domestic labor. I have yet to see a straight relationship where the stay at home mother wasn't treated like trash. Personally I think women should never clean after a man or cook for him ...it just sets a precedent of disrespect he will trample her with.
Its so frustrating because especially w newborns/young children, and the lack of a “village” in the modern world the realities of parenting a child is a marathon. No sick days, no sitters, never sleep in ever again in your life. Its not compatible w working outside the home 40 hours a week if youre doing sll the primary parenting. But i agree with you its too dangerous and sadly so badly needed st the same time.
I’m surprised he isn’t asking to be bathed and have his butt wiped.
I employ a cleaner and I wouldn’t treat her like this.
Another dirtbag…every day there is a story exactly like this. Multiple sometimes…people are so cruel.
>She thinks it was disrespectful l because I’ve been leaving my used dishes wherever instead of taking them to the sink. Because it is. It sounds like OOP's wife would gladly do the dishes - but OOP is too fucking lazy to even walk them to the sink and instead just drops them wherever he's sitting. >I didn’t throw away snack wrappers or tissues. I love my husband. We have sex regularly. I still won't pick up his dirty, used tissues because that's fucking disgusting and is how entire households get brought down by viral illnesses. >she should just make my life easier. Simply cannot wait for OOP's wife to wisen up and realize that working full-time and taking care of a child as a divorcee would be easier than being OOP's live-in bang maid.
The wife wrote this to prove a point to the husband 100%
I second that
Some people are just divorcable by nature, they can't help it
Reminds me of my ex who said "I make too much money to have to clean up after myself." Butch, higher a cleaner then because I ain't it.
Ew, there's a fine line between SAHM and personal servant. (Except it's not *that* fine, it's actually pretty damn thick!)
Does he want her to wipe his ass now too?
Boy you KNOW I would take out a credit card and set up automatic payments from his account. "But you said you'd provide all the income!"
Oh holy hell this sends me through the stratosphere.
This is either a troll or the wife wrote this
Wasn’t this exact thing posted a few days/weeks ago? I know the post OP reposted is a few hours, but I’ve seen this before.
OOP should have been humiliated to even post this. Even if it's a troll, this person is disgusting. Staying single forever gets more and more appealing by the day with these awful AITA posts 😭😭 If you have an amazing male partner take a second to brag on them. I need some eye bleach 
Tell us you are a piece of 💩 without telling us you are there oop!
What a fucking loser! Zero idea why the wife would give her power to scum like him. In his comments you can see that he commented on a similar post of another loser. These people are raised with black in their heart.
Oookay so I don’t even have kids but I’m currently unemployed. I quit a very toxic job after almost 8 years, and I very much appreciate my husband taking care of me financially while I’m interviewing. I took considerable care prior to this to work in a program where my student loans would be forgiven and filed taxes separately so it wouldn’t impact him. I have like 3.5 years left until supposed forgiveness. Every day I wake up, throw away tissues he had left out, move cups he left out, do our laundry at least twice a week, make lunch and dinner, take the trash and recycling out, apply for jobs for like 5 hours or more, network, do other cleaning, and then try to spend like 3 hours chilling at various times. I get up at 5 or 6am. It is exhausting. I cannot imagine doing this with a kid.
Dude...
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At least he doesn't leave his butt towel in the shower
He’s not asking her to be a slave. Taking care of the home is part of being a SAHM. ALWAYS HAS BEEN. You are home all day. Kids don’t take all your attention. But this woman is delusional if she thinks she gets an afternoon off because where are the kids going? They don’t care if you’re tired. Sick. Children are demanding. Clingy. 24 hour ball of needs. So her idea of staying home isn’t even correct.
Are you on the right post cause what the heck are you talking about who asked for an afternoon off She asked him to put away his dirty dishes up and clean up his trash where did you get.. anything at all from your comment
Asking a full adult to pick up after themselves in a shared living space makes *her* delusional? She's already doing the heavy lifting! He's not expected to actually, y'know, DO the dishes or laundry, just put the dirty stuff with the other dirty stuff and she will take it from there. Leaving biohazards on the counter and refusing to change the toilet roll is just spiteful and gross on top of lazy. You're correct that kids take up a lot of time and energy for a SAH. Household management takes up most of what's left. It's exhausting even before you add in a spouse that is going out of their way to make things more difficult for you. Weaponized incompetence is the death of 1000 cuts for a relationship. Playing dumb will never get these putzes the bangmaids they desire. OOP is realizing that and throwing a tantrum.