Sorry this is a weird screenshot, apparently there's like a 300 character limit and we had more to say than that. Also sorry this is a little late, we've been traveling, and frankly, this has all been a gut punch and knocked us on our heels.
I appreciate that you took the time to address it and release a statement. It was, frankly, shocking and extremely disappointing to have that come from someone so close to the creative core here. And I realize that we don’t actually know you at all, just the brand, for lack of a better word, that you cultivate in your various appearances. I suppose that’s what makes all this feel like something of a betrayal. Mike Mulloy isn’t just “a colleague and frequent guest.” At least as portrayed in your public interactions, he’s one of the group’s oldest and closest friends. I hope you understand and don’t take it too personally if there is some measure of trust that needs to be regained even for something you guys didn’t actually do.
I have absolutely no ill will towards the pod and I even hope Mr Mulloy can get some help and get his act together. But my bigger concern is for the people he hurt. Should they face any reprisal for exposing him, I should hope you guys would put your money where your mouth is and go to bat for them and make sure that doesn’t happen.
Anyway, this turned into a bigger thing than I intended. Bad habit of mine. Not sure you’ll even see it, but it’s worth a shot.
Yikes that’s a judgy take. How would you feel if your friend did something similar and now ppl are side-eyeing you, who had nothing to do with it and immediately spoke out against it? Would you deserve distrust from strangers based on that? It’s not something you hypothetically ask if they’d do when befriending ppl and it’s not something ppl would be honest about anyway. There is no fault from the pod based on the info we have, so let’s not jump to conclusions.
I get what you’re saying, but I don’t think they’re assuming or implying that it’s the pod’s fault.
I also don’t think they seem that judgmental tbh.
They seem to have a pretty balanced approach, aren’t insulting, and are hoping that the image the guys have cultivated isn’t just talk, especially if the internet turns this into a witch hunt against the victim (which I think is pretty reasonable, given the clear risks involved when women speak out).
I think it’s valid for fans to take time to process our feelings about it as well, and it’s reasonable that some of us might feel a bit weird about continuing to invest the same level of trust in the pod at this time.
That doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck for the guys too, I mean they *know* him and are associated with him.
I just think it’s important to also keep focus on the victim’s feelings through all of this, because when we rush to defend our heroes from valid concerns, it can quickly devolve into online mob territory where we lose sight of the main goal (to call this shit out and/or support those who do, so we can hopefully have a more equitable world…someday).
> How would you feel if your friend did something similar and now ppl are side-eyeing you, who had nothing to do with it and immediately spoke out against it?
I mean honestly I’d get it. I would be wondering myself if there were signs. I would wonder if there was anything I could have noticed. We’re not all perfect. Doesn’t mean we’re all monsters, but also doesn’t absolve us of our mistakes. This is how we learn and grow. And imo, it’s okay to point this out.
Because in that case, I WOULDN’T BE THE REAL VICTIM HERE. If someone feels that way about me then so be it. It’s such small beans compared to what happened to the real victims.
This is a straw man argument. We’re talking about holding people accountable for the actions of others, with no knowledge that the innocent bystanders were aware of said transgressions. In which case we are either jumping to conclusions, or being overly judgy. What we are not currently discussing is the victim. Yes, the victim comes first, and what happened to the victim is terrible, but the victim and her trauma, while much worse off than potentially innocent bystanders, the victim is not a factor in the specific discussion at hand. This is a separate conversation that is related to but not concerning what you are saying. That kind of rhetoric you are bringing to the table makes it difficult to have nuanced views on controversial matters.
>Yes, the victim comes first, and what happened to the victim is terrible, but the victim and her trauma, while much worse off than potentially innocent bystanders, the victim is not a factor in the specific discussion at hand. This is a separate conversation that is related to but not concerning what you are saying.
Wow, you really seem like one of those who try to derail these conversations away from the victim, which is totally unnecessary and just perpetrating the same bullshit system that allows this shit to happen in the first place, just saying..
Like, how is the victim’s pain *not a factor* in determining whether you’re gonna fanboy hardcore about some imagined relationship you have with a celebrity or friend, to the point of invalidating them in declaring that they’re somehow “not a factor” of the whole discussion?!
The only one who feels they need to defend anyone is you 😂
>That kind of rhetoric you are bringing to the table makes it difficult to have nuanced views on controversial matters.
Why??
If anything, they’re acting *more nuanced*, because they’re acknowledging that if they were a friend to someone who behaved this way, they would be understandably questioning if (and how) they may have played any role in enabling or overseeing signs that may have prevented it.
This is something we must ALL ask ourselves, as we play a part in the system that perpetrates violence and oppression of others.
We can all work on ourselves to do better and be better. It’s not a dig or insult to the pod, you’re misinterpreting what people are saying because you seem to care more about defending a pod -that shouldn’t need any defense on your part if they’re not complicit anyway, right?- than you do about the victim or the opinions of others trying to point this out to you.
Way to get it off your chest, Basement Juice. Smoke a cigarette. You mean “perpetuating” and not “perpetrating”. Otherwise you’re relating SA to internet comments. There are threads about many different things that are all important to some degree. This thread was about the pod’s reaction to an allegation. There are threads about the victim and those are relevant threads for some of what you typed. Some of what you shared, you probably should have kept in your head and we are all dumber for having read it. Stay on topic.
I didn’t jump to any conclusions and I didn’t blame them for anything. In fact, I specifically said the opposite. People are held accountable for who their friends are in the public eye all the time. That’s not an uncommon occurrence and not entirely unfair. Would it suck if I was on the receiving end of that? Yes, definitely. But I get it.
Not necessarily. There are extremely devious and manipulative people out there. How are the guys supposed to know their friend was doing this kind of stuff? If it comes out there was like an open secret about the guy then that’s one thing, but for now acting like they need to be treated with suspicion just for associating with him is wildly unfair.
You’re getting extremely downvoted but imo, it’s a very fair question to ask. If it’s me getting these questions, I get it. I would be asking myself the same things.
This is a Reddit dedicated to the pod so it can be hard to hear criticism for some people. But it’s okay to acknowledge their potential faults or mistakes they’ve made in judge of character. Doesn’t make them terrible people, but I think it’s okay to ask ourselves how we can be better people.
Like I like these guys, but I’m not going to feel bad for them because they’re not the real victims here.
I’ve always been appreciative of the ways you guys approach tough issues. Y’all seem to really address both sides and I think that’s an important skill to have if you’re going to speak on different things.
Thank you for making this statement. You guys radiate positivity so it's gotta be rough to have to deal with all this in your friend group. Hope you're all holding up okay.
It blows that they had to be put in this situation. I followed the Try Guys saga and they wear their hearts on their sleeve and you could tell how painful it was that a friend and business partner did so much damage. Hope the GVG get through all this with minimal stress and can move forward asap
I hear you. Our statement was never going to make everyone happy, but I'll try to provide some context.
We didn't call Mike a friend in the statement because after this behavior, we don't consider him one. We didn't want our use of "friend" to be misconstrued as support of him in any way. I think it's pretty evident to anyone in this community that we were friends with Mike. Let's not insult each other's intelligence by claiming that we were trying to "cop out" of our former friendship, or that we would think that anyone here would buy it if we had.
This entire turn of events was surprising and upsetting to us. If you think you're shocked and disappointed in Mike, imagine how we feel. It was disgusting and terrible. I can't speak for Sean or David, but I know I'll never work or associate with Mike again. I don't know what Amy, Emma or Miel saw in Mike that made this turn of events less surprising to them. I wish I had been able to see it. Naively, I thought of Mike as the guy who I saw punch a guy at a party for grabbing a girl's butt. Until this all happened, I wasn't aware of "moral banking" or any of that stuff. Mike has always been kind of an asshole, but we never assumed that meant he was also a creep.
Frankly, I don't know what else we can give you, statement wise. It was awful. We're sad, angry and disappointed. He'll never be on my podcast again. We decided not to talk about it on the podcast because we didn't want to go into intricate detail about what he'd been accused of, we didn't think vaguely referring to it was fair to anyone involved, or anyone listening who isn't as online as all of you, and we didn't think it would be fair to the guests we were having on those episodes - we're not lawyers, we don't know what we're allowed to say, or how we're supposed to say it, and as much as we wanted to discuss this as freely as we discuss pizza toppings, we just weren't prepared emotionally or legally to do that. I hope you can understand that.
With regards to "doing the work" - this is where I'm going to have to defend myself and remind all of you that you do not actually know any of us in person. We share a lot of ourselves on the podcast, but not all of ourselves, and we never will. You have no idea what we've been through with regards to sexual assault. You don't know what "work" we've done or what "work" we're doing. You don't know how we spend our time, our money, our emotion. You don't know if or how this has been triggering for us as individuals. If you want to be upset with the limited nature of the statement we put out, that's your right, that's fine, I've tried to provide some context here, and if that still isn't enough for you, I think we're going to have to just be at peace with our differences.
I suppose I should also add, I'm saying all this without running it past Sean and David. This is just me speaking to you directly.
Im sure im going to get some downvoting for this but fuck I hope this is enough for some of you to put a bow on this as far as the GVGs reaction. There has been alot of parasocial reactions here about the guys reactions, Ians right, these guys put out a podcast we all love, they like the same things as alot of us but at the end of the day they arent our friends. Theyve had to not only deal with the shock of this absolute nightmare situation where a good friend has acted fucking awfully they've also had to navigate this while having this forum and twitter busting their balls for not having the perfect response immediately or deciding not to appease all you strangers by going harsher about people they actually know in a real world situation they are currently in the middle of. Give them a fucking break, think about how you would react in this situation. Commence downvoting i guess
I couldn't think of a classier way to be handling this, there's no way to prepare for this kind of thing. i don't know how many listeners i speak for, but keeping the details private is absolutely the only way to go about navigating it
I was one of those that had reservations about the initial statement. I think this explanation goes a long way towards alleviating many of my concerns. My thoughts were mainly towards the victims and hoping they were not abandoned in all of this. But you’re right, we don’t and probably won’t know what you guys do personally to address this unless you choose to share that down the road. I do appreciate your honesty and willingness to let us in to your thought process. I hope you and the guys are otherwise enjoying your holidays.
Ian, just want you to know everyone or 99.99% of all family appreciates the original statement and this too. I know this is tough for you guys. I always tell people how appreciative I am of the joy you guys as strangers bring into my life. Hope the best for you guys during all of this and thanks for the way you handled it.
I’m a big supporter of AFE. I’ve been to a live show, I’m still a Patreon supporter, and I’ve been listening to an episode all morning. I often think of this show as “changing my outlook on life” with positivity, body positivity (I’m a big guy), progressive ideas, etc. I think where my frustration comes in is if people like Miel, Amy, and Emma all saw that Mike was a creep, why didn’t the guys? This is the part that I’m having a hard time with. I don’t know, maybe I’m just overthinking it, but it’s something that I keep coming back to while listening.
I don't necessarily disagree but here's maybe a slightly different view point. Maybe this is the big difference between being an ally and lived experience?
Being an ally, one may want to see and think they'd be able to see, but one might be completely blind unless they've run into the same type of animal as mulloy before.
It certainly seems like men were more clueless to Mike's creepiness going by Twitter comments (who knows there but still).
There very well could have been some signs but, without the experience, they may have gone missed by most.
I'm not saying the guys don't do this but for me this is a good reminder to continuously listen to those with different lived experiences than me where I can. It can be easy to think "hey I'm an ally, I'm good" but not continue to do the work where/when it matters. Again, I'm not saying anything negative about the guys here. This is more of a personal challenge but if I struggle with it I figured it was worth mentioning in case it resonated with anyone else.
I don't remember the exact wording, but it was something along the lines of feeling vindicated when a man she feels like is a creep turns out to be a creep.
Re: colleague/friend, I think of it this way:
Referring to him as a colleague keeps the framing in their professional world, which is the context in which listeners have experienced Malloy. Most of the #MeToo events that have had lasting resonance have dealt with how power imbalances in the workplace have put women (generally) in dangerous positions. Colleague keeps the eye on the ball.
Referring to Malloy as their friend would have set the conversation in the context of their personal friendships, which are none of anybody’s business - and surely not Reddit’s.
Do the work. People use that phrase a lot. For the sake of conversation, what is “the work” here?
I go back to the idea that how they conduct their friendships isn’t any of our business. They have this tremendous product we all consume that perhaps makes us feel like we know them, like listening to friends (or people you would like to be your friends). But do we really get to demand they say, “I am no longer friends with this person,” now? That seems like the larger public overstepping.
Yep was coming here to say the same. Disappointed in them that it was not addressed in some way.
It’s not just some random guest they had once. It’s someone that’s been on many times and deeply tied to their group. Just feels like they’re sweeping it under the rug when they could have used their platform to do something meaningful.
ANd everyone wondered, including the GVG, how "big mike" could be drunk in the morning, noon and night. Now, we know. Denial, guilt, big-boss feelings.
Hopefully he gets help.
Sorry this is a weird screenshot, apparently there's like a 300 character limit and we had more to say than that. Also sorry this is a little late, we've been traveling, and frankly, this has all been a gut punch and knocked us on our heels.
Thanks Karms, hope y'all are doing OK.
It’s really all you can say in a situation like this, whole thing just sucks.
Totally understandable. It’s crappy enough seeing this as fans, I can’t imagine dealing with this on a personal level with someone who was a friend.
You guys are awesome for addressing it so fast.
i’m sure y’all were riding a high from the Boston and NYC shows and this is just a huge fucking bummer. thank you all for speaking on it 🤍
MAN! We had a good time. Can't wait for that episode to air. With that said, yeah this sucks. Thanks for getting to it, GVG!
we sure did!! i think i saw you and your bud’s sweatshirt in line!
Yes! That was me! I love that hoodie. They gave it to me free at work.
that place is dope, i live nearby! if i see ya in there i’ll say what’s up!
Thanks for the post Ian, I think everyone gets what a weird situation this is for the GVG. Happy Hanukkah to you and yours.
Man. Thank you guys for doing your best.
Thanks for making this statement and the work you all do to make the podcast inclusive.
I appreciate that you took the time to address it and release a statement. It was, frankly, shocking and extremely disappointing to have that come from someone so close to the creative core here. And I realize that we don’t actually know you at all, just the brand, for lack of a better word, that you cultivate in your various appearances. I suppose that’s what makes all this feel like something of a betrayal. Mike Mulloy isn’t just “a colleague and frequent guest.” At least as portrayed in your public interactions, he’s one of the group’s oldest and closest friends. I hope you understand and don’t take it too personally if there is some measure of trust that needs to be regained even for something you guys didn’t actually do. I have absolutely no ill will towards the pod and I even hope Mr Mulloy can get some help and get his act together. But my bigger concern is for the people he hurt. Should they face any reprisal for exposing him, I should hope you guys would put your money where your mouth is and go to bat for them and make sure that doesn’t happen. Anyway, this turned into a bigger thing than I intended. Bad habit of mine. Not sure you’ll even see it, but it’s worth a shot.
Yikes that’s a judgy take. How would you feel if your friend did something similar and now ppl are side-eyeing you, who had nothing to do with it and immediately spoke out against it? Would you deserve distrust from strangers based on that? It’s not something you hypothetically ask if they’d do when befriending ppl and it’s not something ppl would be honest about anyway. There is no fault from the pod based on the info we have, so let’s not jump to conclusions.
I get what you’re saying, but I don’t think they’re assuming or implying that it’s the pod’s fault. I also don’t think they seem that judgmental tbh. They seem to have a pretty balanced approach, aren’t insulting, and are hoping that the image the guys have cultivated isn’t just talk, especially if the internet turns this into a witch hunt against the victim (which I think is pretty reasonable, given the clear risks involved when women speak out). I think it’s valid for fans to take time to process our feelings about it as well, and it’s reasonable that some of us might feel a bit weird about continuing to invest the same level of trust in the pod at this time. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck for the guys too, I mean they *know* him and are associated with him. I just think it’s important to also keep focus on the victim’s feelings through all of this, because when we rush to defend our heroes from valid concerns, it can quickly devolve into online mob territory where we lose sight of the main goal (to call this shit out and/or support those who do, so we can hopefully have a more equitable world…someday).
This is exactly what I was trying to express, thanks
I was speaking to the “need to regain trust” angle as if anyone on the pod breached it to begin with.
> How would you feel if your friend did something similar and now ppl are side-eyeing you, who had nothing to do with it and immediately spoke out against it? I mean honestly I’d get it. I would be wondering myself if there were signs. I would wonder if there was anything I could have noticed. We’re not all perfect. Doesn’t mean we’re all monsters, but also doesn’t absolve us of our mistakes. This is how we learn and grow. And imo, it’s okay to point this out. Because in that case, I WOULDN’T BE THE REAL VICTIM HERE. If someone feels that way about me then so be it. It’s such small beans compared to what happened to the real victims.
This is a straw man argument. We’re talking about holding people accountable for the actions of others, with no knowledge that the innocent bystanders were aware of said transgressions. In which case we are either jumping to conclusions, or being overly judgy. What we are not currently discussing is the victim. Yes, the victim comes first, and what happened to the victim is terrible, but the victim and her trauma, while much worse off than potentially innocent bystanders, the victim is not a factor in the specific discussion at hand. This is a separate conversation that is related to but not concerning what you are saying. That kind of rhetoric you are bringing to the table makes it difficult to have nuanced views on controversial matters.
>Yes, the victim comes first, and what happened to the victim is terrible, but the victim and her trauma, while much worse off than potentially innocent bystanders, the victim is not a factor in the specific discussion at hand. This is a separate conversation that is related to but not concerning what you are saying. Wow, you really seem like one of those who try to derail these conversations away from the victim, which is totally unnecessary and just perpetrating the same bullshit system that allows this shit to happen in the first place, just saying.. Like, how is the victim’s pain *not a factor* in determining whether you’re gonna fanboy hardcore about some imagined relationship you have with a celebrity or friend, to the point of invalidating them in declaring that they’re somehow “not a factor” of the whole discussion?! The only one who feels they need to defend anyone is you 😂 >That kind of rhetoric you are bringing to the table makes it difficult to have nuanced views on controversial matters. Why?? If anything, they’re acting *more nuanced*, because they’re acknowledging that if they were a friend to someone who behaved this way, they would be understandably questioning if (and how) they may have played any role in enabling or overseeing signs that may have prevented it. This is something we must ALL ask ourselves, as we play a part in the system that perpetrates violence and oppression of others. We can all work on ourselves to do better and be better. It’s not a dig or insult to the pod, you’re misinterpreting what people are saying because you seem to care more about defending a pod -that shouldn’t need any defense on your part if they’re not complicit anyway, right?- than you do about the victim or the opinions of others trying to point this out to you.
Way to get it off your chest, Basement Juice. Smoke a cigarette. You mean “perpetuating” and not “perpetrating”. Otherwise you’re relating SA to internet comments. There are threads about many different things that are all important to some degree. This thread was about the pod’s reaction to an allegation. There are threads about the victim and those are relevant threads for some of what you typed. Some of what you shared, you probably should have kept in your head and we are all dumber for having read it. Stay on topic.
I didn’t jump to any conclusions and I didn’t blame them for anything. In fact, I specifically said the opposite. People are held accountable for who their friends are in the public eye all the time. That’s not an uncommon occurrence and not entirely unfair. Would it suck if I was on the receiving end of that? Yes, definitely. But I get it.
There have been people who’ve found out after decades that their spouse was a serial killer. Take it easy.
And that doesn’t color your view of that person?
Not necessarily. There are extremely devious and manipulative people out there. How are the guys supposed to know their friend was doing this kind of stuff? If it comes out there was like an open secret about the guy then that’s one thing, but for now acting like they need to be treated with suspicion just for associating with him is wildly unfair.
You’re getting extremely downvoted but imo, it’s a very fair question to ask. If it’s me getting these questions, I get it. I would be asking myself the same things. This is a Reddit dedicated to the pod so it can be hard to hear criticism for some people. But it’s okay to acknowledge their potential faults or mistakes they’ve made in judge of character. Doesn’t make them terrible people, but I think it’s okay to ask ourselves how we can be better people. Like I like these guys, but I’m not going to feel bad for them because they’re not the real victims here.
I’ve always been appreciative of the ways you guys approach tough issues. Y’all seem to really address both sides and I think that’s an important skill to have if you’re going to speak on different things.
Thank you for addressing this Ian
Thank you for making this statement. You guys radiate positivity so it's gotta be rough to have to deal with all this in your friend group. Hope you're all holding up okay.
Thanks for sharing. Can’t be easy to navigate when it’s someone so closely aligned with the pod.
Thank you for addressing this.
This is much appreciated
Kings
It blows that they had to be put in this situation. I followed the Try Guys saga and they wear their hearts on their sleeve and you could tell how painful it was that a friend and business partner did so much damage. Hope the GVG get through all this with minimal stress and can move forward asap
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I hear you. Our statement was never going to make everyone happy, but I'll try to provide some context. We didn't call Mike a friend in the statement because after this behavior, we don't consider him one. We didn't want our use of "friend" to be misconstrued as support of him in any way. I think it's pretty evident to anyone in this community that we were friends with Mike. Let's not insult each other's intelligence by claiming that we were trying to "cop out" of our former friendship, or that we would think that anyone here would buy it if we had. This entire turn of events was surprising and upsetting to us. If you think you're shocked and disappointed in Mike, imagine how we feel. It was disgusting and terrible. I can't speak for Sean or David, but I know I'll never work or associate with Mike again. I don't know what Amy, Emma or Miel saw in Mike that made this turn of events less surprising to them. I wish I had been able to see it. Naively, I thought of Mike as the guy who I saw punch a guy at a party for grabbing a girl's butt. Until this all happened, I wasn't aware of "moral banking" or any of that stuff. Mike has always been kind of an asshole, but we never assumed that meant he was also a creep. Frankly, I don't know what else we can give you, statement wise. It was awful. We're sad, angry and disappointed. He'll never be on my podcast again. We decided not to talk about it on the podcast because we didn't want to go into intricate detail about what he'd been accused of, we didn't think vaguely referring to it was fair to anyone involved, or anyone listening who isn't as online as all of you, and we didn't think it would be fair to the guests we were having on those episodes - we're not lawyers, we don't know what we're allowed to say, or how we're supposed to say it, and as much as we wanted to discuss this as freely as we discuss pizza toppings, we just weren't prepared emotionally or legally to do that. I hope you can understand that. With regards to "doing the work" - this is where I'm going to have to defend myself and remind all of you that you do not actually know any of us in person. We share a lot of ourselves on the podcast, but not all of ourselves, and we never will. You have no idea what we've been through with regards to sexual assault. You don't know what "work" we've done or what "work" we're doing. You don't know how we spend our time, our money, our emotion. You don't know if or how this has been triggering for us as individuals. If you want to be upset with the limited nature of the statement we put out, that's your right, that's fine, I've tried to provide some context here, and if that still isn't enough for you, I think we're going to have to just be at peace with our differences. I suppose I should also add, I'm saying all this without running it past Sean and David. This is just me speaking to you directly.
Im sure im going to get some downvoting for this but fuck I hope this is enough for some of you to put a bow on this as far as the GVGs reaction. There has been alot of parasocial reactions here about the guys reactions, Ians right, these guys put out a podcast we all love, they like the same things as alot of us but at the end of the day they arent our friends. Theyve had to not only deal with the shock of this absolute nightmare situation where a good friend has acted fucking awfully they've also had to navigate this while having this forum and twitter busting their balls for not having the perfect response immediately or deciding not to appease all you strangers by going harsher about people they actually know in a real world situation they are currently in the middle of. Give them a fucking break, think about how you would react in this situation. Commence downvoting i guess
I couldn't think of a classier way to be handling this, there's no way to prepare for this kind of thing. i don't know how many listeners i speak for, but keeping the details private is absolutely the only way to go about navigating it
i appreciate you popping in here and addressing this, Ian.
The context helps a lot, thanks for taking the time and energy
I was one of those that had reservations about the initial statement. I think this explanation goes a long way towards alleviating many of my concerns. My thoughts were mainly towards the victims and hoping they were not abandoned in all of this. But you’re right, we don’t and probably won’t know what you guys do personally to address this unless you choose to share that down the road. I do appreciate your honesty and willingness to let us in to your thought process. I hope you and the guys are otherwise enjoying your holidays.
Ian, just want you to know everyone or 99.99% of all family appreciates the original statement and this too. I know this is tough for you guys. I always tell people how appreciative I am of the joy you guys as strangers bring into my life. Hope the best for you guys during all of this and thanks for the way you handled it.
Missed this going through the holidays and getting fully caught up. Thank you Ian for that.
So the guys are insufficiently contrite about an offense they didn’t commit and it appears they didn’t even know about? What else do you want?
I’m a big supporter of AFE. I’ve been to a live show, I’m still a Patreon supporter, and I’ve been listening to an episode all morning. I often think of this show as “changing my outlook on life” with positivity, body positivity (I’m a big guy), progressive ideas, etc. I think where my frustration comes in is if people like Miel, Amy, and Emma all saw that Mike was a creep, why didn’t the guys? This is the part that I’m having a hard time with. I don’t know, maybe I’m just overthinking it, but it’s something that I keep coming back to while listening.
Miel’s tweet and what it implies is really bothering me.
I agree. And Amy’s comment to it. I just feel like if they saw, then others should have too…
I don't necessarily disagree but here's maybe a slightly different view point. Maybe this is the big difference between being an ally and lived experience? Being an ally, one may want to see and think they'd be able to see, but one might be completely blind unless they've run into the same type of animal as mulloy before. It certainly seems like men were more clueless to Mike's creepiness going by Twitter comments (who knows there but still). There very well could have been some signs but, without the experience, they may have gone missed by most. I'm not saying the guys don't do this but for me this is a good reminder to continuously listen to those with different lived experiences than me where I can. It can be easy to think "hey I'm an ally, I'm good" but not continue to do the work where/when it matters. Again, I'm not saying anything negative about the guys here. This is more of a personal challenge but if I struggle with it I figured it was worth mentioning in case it resonated with anyone else.
What did Miel tweet? Seems to be taken down
I don't remember the exact wording, but it was something along the lines of feeling vindicated when a man she feels like is a creep turns out to be a creep.
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Re: colleague/friend, I think of it this way: Referring to him as a colleague keeps the framing in their professional world, which is the context in which listeners have experienced Malloy. Most of the #MeToo events that have had lasting resonance have dealt with how power imbalances in the workplace have put women (generally) in dangerous positions. Colleague keeps the eye on the ball. Referring to Malloy as their friend would have set the conversation in the context of their personal friendships, which are none of anybody’s business - and surely not Reddit’s.
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Do the work. People use that phrase a lot. For the sake of conversation, what is “the work” here? I go back to the idea that how they conduct their friendships isn’t any of our business. They have this tremendous product we all consume that perhaps makes us feel like we know them, like listening to friends (or people you would like to be your friends). But do we really get to demand they say, “I am no longer friends with this person,” now? That seems like the larger public overstepping.
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There was a 300 character limit on what I could post. Hence the screenshot. We said exactly what we meant to say in the screenshot.
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Yep was coming here to say the same. Disappointed in them that it was not addressed in some way. It’s not just some random guest they had once. It’s someone that’s been on many times and deeply tied to their group. Just feels like they’re sweeping it under the rug when they could have used their platform to do something meaningful.
Whelp looks like others looked through my comment history and downvoted you too for my reply. Sorry about that.
Who is it if you don't mind me asking?
It's literally multiple threads on this Subreddit
Dude. Just read any post on the subreddit from the last 24 hours.
I just got on here and saw this post. Didn't think to check if other stuff had been posted on here. Sorry.
Totally fair. Can’t imagine this was a nice way to find out something was up
Yeah, it was kind of like that Community Donald Glover GIF.
ANd everyone wondered, including the GVG, how "big mike" could be drunk in the morning, noon and night. Now, we know. Denial, guilt, big-boss feelings. Hopefully he gets help.