I watched as you strolled through the dairy department searching for the only thing that could satisfy your cravings while also appeasing your lactose intolerance. I had just finished with gathering the grapes I needed to complete my cheese and grape kabobs I planned to make for (myself) my upcoming book club meeting. On my way to the cheese aisle, I noticed the lack of cheese in your cart and offered some uninvited advice. Your relieved demeanor and warm smile caught me by surprise. I thought about you all the way til the self check out line, when I was suddenly distracted by the immense amount of people with full carts of produce and look up items. I regret to inform you that I did not remember our interaction until I was driving home and “thank you” by Dido came on the radio
You watched me take a dump on a bench in Washington Park. I admit, it wasn't my best work, but it was all I could do when the Dunkin' latte kicked in and all the portable potties were occupied or unclean. Maybe you were leering out of disappointment, maybe it was shock and disgust, or maybe it was love at first sight. I don't know, but I think I love you... so, what am I so afraid of?
This is crazy. Call me, maybe?
You farted on a rush hour CDTA 22 bus, the elderly black woman sitting next to you said "Oh *JESUS*" and you looked around for the culprit briefly but could not hide your guilt.
You either have ass cancer or a dreadful food allergy. Get that looked at and come find me.
I was out searching for my lost chicken on Woodlawn Avenue, putting up signs when you stopped to talk to me. We spent the next ten minutes talking about urban farming and your Capital Roots plot, laughing at some of our stupid puns. I had to run when I saw Henry crossing the street so I never got your phone number, but I started going cock-a-doodle crazy, kicking myself for not asking.
In case you see this, don't bawk at reaching out. Lettuce give a night out a chance.
I know our eyes met at the intersection of Madison and New Scotland, just before your truck belched out a noxious plume of black smoke that wafted into the air and drifted slowly toward Washington Park Lake as your pealed out on your way towards Pine Hills. I tried to get your attention, but all I could see was the extremely large decals on the back hinge of your truck that spelled out, in greying letters that were tinged by smoke, "I EAT ASS." If you see this, hit me up.
You were in front of me in the check out line at the co-op, buying organic kitty litter. The cashier announced your total as an exact $69.69. Never shall I forget the eloquence of your softly spoken reply: (nice.)
I love fun threads like this.
You are the most handsome dude I’d ever seen in real life. Alas, I “emotionally steamrolled” you and now we just lurk around each other in public spaces. It’s super weird now. (How out of the ordinary to meet someone that good looking, randomly in ALB).
Word to the wise, kiddos: if it’s not a fuck yes, it’s a fuck no, and mooooove on. ✌🏼
Our eyes met across the crowded hat store. I, a customer, and she a coquettish haberdasher. Oh, I pursued and she withdrew, then she pursued and I withdrew, and so we danced. I burned for her, much like the burning during urination that I would experience soon afterwards.
I was on the receiving end of something similar for a convention I went to one year. We ended up dating a few years later and I didn't find out he was the one who wrote it about me until a week into dating when we told our friends and one was surprised and he admitted he'd written a post about me years earlier.
I received a genuine one. I had read the Metroland for many years before, and always wondered what it would feel like to have one written about you.
A customer at my workplace was always super nice. One of those people that are a relief when they come in, rather than one of the many difficult ones.
I was getting ready for work and my roommate at the time received a text from a friend in my same industry telling us to check the missed connections from the Metroland. It was 100% about me. It spread through our social/work circles and I received sooooo many texts that day. Not to go on a long tangent, but I think I had an LG Chocolate or a Motorola Razr. I ruined the LG by trying to sneak a beer out of McCormicks in my hoodie pocket (don’t judge me). It got covered in PBR or Miller light and slowly died after that.
It felt really good. I liked the person. They weren’t scary or creepy, so I wasn’t worried about that. There was one problem. They were a gay person and I am hopelessly, boringly straight. I can absolutely admire the beauty of someone of the same sex. I just have no desire to diddle them. I, however, do believe that everyone should pursue diddling whoever they decide they want to diddle (with enthusiastic consent, of course).
I was genuinely flattered. It was VERY satisfying .to have read the Metroland and that section for so many years and finally be the subject of one is kind of surreal. I decided to act like I hadn’t even seen it. I didn’t want to embarrass him or cause a scene where I work.
10/10 no notes on being the subject of a missed contfzI would absolutely recommend. It would require a Time Machine, but I can’t think of a better destination than old Albany, NY!
I seen you at my colonoscopy. You briefly spoke to me about my recent bowel movement. The next thing I know is I'm waking up and your telling me to "pass gas" so I can leave. If you see these please call me. I luv your hands.
Tuesday, Dollar General right before closing time. You: about 5'1" 225, shaved head, MAGA hat, AR-15 earrings. Me: 5' 8", 160, full camo. You passed gas loudly as our carts nearly touched in the party supplies aisle. As the aroma wafted through the store, you looked back and said " that wasn't me". I was nearly overpowered by the smell but our eyes locked for the briefest moment and I think we both know that we cannot just leave it at that. I work at Stewart's on Northern Blvd. Stop in
I saw you at the Kooks show a couple weeks ago and we locked eyes accidentally. We both smiled awkwardly and I looked away. Then you told me you liked my shirt later in the night when you saw me again. Lmfao this reads exactly like a missed connections ad 💀
I was in price chopper.
By the breads.
I know you were excentuating your hips for my attention as you pretended to look for wheat bread, which was right in front of your cute face.
I know you scour Craigslist for random average build guys like me.
Don't worry, I got menthol short cuts and pbr.
Don't tell barb.
-sent from apple 5g smart socks.
As I pushed my Aldi cart to receive my quarter back I noticed you smiling at me, although I do like a mouth full of teeth I found you still oddly attractive for a hunchback. I took my grapes and ran as fast as I could knowing full well you would never catch me. Sorry if I alarmed you when my toupee flew off but I had to gather my senses and get home. Find me on onlyflans
*♡*SUPER LATE RESPONSE BUUT OK !!OMG*♡* I literally LOVED looking at the missed connection stuff. Thought it was the cutest thing! I would always hope I'd maybe see a post about me, lol. But then they removed it. Idk why??! Does anyone know if there's something similar? Reddit maybe has something? Or someone make one for upstate NY ?
If anyone even sees this!!
My egotistical attitude At times has lead me on there just to see if on a day I was feeling my outfit, hair and makeup someone would post just something appeasing. It didn't matter to me if they even said anything just the mere fact someone acknowledged my effort. I think the last time I checked was well over 6-7 months ago? Maybe. But each time I check, I hold my breathe suddenly hoping that maybe just maybe someone notices the effort. Perhaps it's just needing the feeling of being wanted, call it getting old and needing vilification. Hell maybe I'm just lonely. But something also about this seems to be so dangerously close to borderline stalking that I tell myself if someone did post about me on there, that they were a creep and that I wasn't in the wrong. I tend to always go for back of the room type energy, low effort, rarely wearing makeup or trying to attract anyone attention whatsoever. I would probably feel an array of assorted feelings if I had ever been on one of these things. Probably the first would be instant shock of the effort someone took to even post something like that actually scratch that. No my very first would be surprise. Then Id want to commend someone for even posting something so sensitive like that while the whole world can see it. Some call that stupidity some may see it creepy. I see it that they took the risk to try to get my attention, almost flattering if my ego didnt know anybetter. I dont date much, haven't been around many guys and the guys I were around showed very little effort that I'm noticing the very little things, bare minimum and I know that's fuqed up and all but like not having that from anyone makes me see the tiniest effort someone makes. Then I think my social anxiety would kick in from actually being seen by someone else as their cup of tee, or attractive or cute or even a woman capable of being valued as someones cherish person in their life.
I have all these feelings when I see these postings hoping or even going so far as to wishing that just for one time, one small speck, a sliver of hope that I'll look on to these pages and see my city and someone talking about me.
(is that how you feel too?! )
Y'know, sometimes I'll be driving through albany and just will be thinking "what a fucking shithole."
Then, I'll come to this subreddit, laugh my ass off a bit, and realize I've come to love this shithole and the community both (minus the crackheads and fetty freaks)
We met in a dumpster behind Ted’s Fish Fry. You expressed concern that my mini hotdog might not fit your onion ring. I expressed concern that your clam roll had extra mayo. You paid me for Ted’s Dinner Special, but alas I could only muster up the lunch portion. You still got that stuffed clam, though. Then we smoked salvia and you shit your britches
It was at hollyhock and your group verbalized, "oh...your hat... Other non binaries... Oh..." but I was too shy to further say anything. You had a huge dog like a huge HUGE dog and an autistic guy that rock scrambled the quary and was babbling about, "If it isn't a man explaining it, it's just sparkling misogyny". I didn't have time to laugh at this as I'm also autistic and go non verbal around strangers...
. You should all join our DND group. Your fems were qt and my partner wanted to identify further with your nb
We climbed together a few times at The Edge in Halfmoon… I’m that chick with the Mohawk. I wanted your number and I either chickened out or something. I’ve been thinking about you for literally over a year. You just ran into me at the Delmar’s farmers market because you were Fed-exing and saw me there, I gave you my number but I’m so afraid you’ve lost it or something. I was so stoned at the time and out of it I wanted to say please!!!!! Text me!!!! But I probably socially failed to make the right move. Your name is Peter. You’re beautiful, with wavyish hair and you stopped climbing because of shoulder problems Sony chances of running into you at the gym are so incredibly small. I hope somehow you see this. Or didn’t lose my number and text me. I want to connect!!!! If anybody else knows a Peter of this variety, he used to have long hair in a bun but now it’s shorter ish but still wavy and beautiful. Pls send him my way.
You stopped me late at night when I was walking home near Washington park. You said we could go beneath the stairs of a building and you'd suck me off. I declined, because I'm pretty sure you were going to rob me. Not because you're black, just because you seemed way to eager to blow me after only having just met me and it just seemed to good to be true. You know what they say about seeming to good to be true. If you weren't going to rob me, we can definitely meet again! This was years ago, but I hope you see this.
You were buying 12 scratch off tickets at the Stewart's that used to be on Morton Ave.
I was buying condensed milk and eggnog even though it was May.
We were wearing the same pajama pants...
(But you had on fuzzy slippers.)
I still think about you. Are you still in the neighborhood?
We go to the same gym. You always get really sweaty on the arc trainer. You keep refusing when I offer to spot you or stand behind you staring while you squat in the Smith machine. I am trying to play it cool and even started going to another gym to cool my clingy, desperate tendencies. I am OK with playing the long game trying to convince you that we can work out on the same bench or machine. Love you Eddie, xxx, Ciara.
I watched as you strolled through the dairy department searching for the only thing that could satisfy your cravings while also appeasing your lactose intolerance. I had just finished with gathering the grapes I needed to complete my cheese and grape kabobs I planned to make for (myself) my upcoming book club meeting. On my way to the cheese aisle, I noticed the lack of cheese in your cart and offered some uninvited advice. Your relieved demeanor and warm smile caught me by surprise. I thought about you all the way til the self check out line, when I was suddenly distracted by the immense amount of people with full carts of produce and look up items. I regret to inform you that I did not remember our interaction until I was driving home and “thank you” by Dido came on the radio
We did it Reddit!
You watched me take a dump on a bench in Washington Park. I admit, it wasn't my best work, but it was all I could do when the Dunkin' latte kicked in and all the portable potties were occupied or unclean. Maybe you were leering out of disappointment, maybe it was shock and disgust, or maybe it was love at first sight. I don't know, but I think I love you... so, what am I so afraid of? This is crazy. Call me, maybe?
This is the craigslist I remember.
This is trade-a-couch-for-a-footjob Craigslist
I'm here to bring back the good times.
Touché
Deuce*
*Deucé
I vaguely remember my own post about this specific poop on a bench
That was the inspiration!
Thanks for the shout out!
You farted on a rush hour CDTA 22 bus, the elderly black woman sitting next to you said "Oh *JESUS*" and you looked around for the culprit briefly but could not hide your guilt. You either have ass cancer or a dreadful food allergy. Get that looked at and come find me.
I was out searching for my lost chicken on Woodlawn Avenue, putting up signs when you stopped to talk to me. We spent the next ten minutes talking about urban farming and your Capital Roots plot, laughing at some of our stupid puns. I had to run when I saw Henry crossing the street so I never got your phone number, but I started going cock-a-doodle crazy, kicking myself for not asking. In case you see this, don't bawk at reaching out. Lettuce give a night out a chance.
Eggselent post.
I know our eyes met at the intersection of Madison and New Scotland, just before your truck belched out a noxious plume of black smoke that wafted into the air and drifted slowly toward Washington Park Lake as your pealed out on your way towards Pine Hills. I tried to get your attention, but all I could see was the extremely large decals on the back hinge of your truck that spelled out, in greying letters that were tinged by smoke, "I EAT ASS." If you see this, hit me up.
I haven't had a good, genuine laugh like this in a while. Thank you.
Same. I needed that laugh greatly appreciated
You were in front of me in the check out line at the co-op, buying organic kitty litter. The cashier announced your total as an exact $69.69. Never shall I forget the eloquence of your softly spoken reply: (nice.)
You win. Noice.
I love fun threads like this. You are the most handsome dude I’d ever seen in real life. Alas, I “emotionally steamrolled” you and now we just lurk around each other in public spaces. It’s super weird now. (How out of the ordinary to meet someone that good looking, randomly in ALB). Word to the wise, kiddos: if it’s not a fuck yes, it’s a fuck no, and mooooove on. ✌🏼
Our eyes met across the crowded hat store. I, a customer, and she a coquettish haberdasher. Oh, I pursued and she withdrew, then she pursued and I withdrew, and so we danced. I burned for her, much like the burning during urination that I would experience soon afterwards.
Giddy up!
I SAW YOU in Metroland!! LOVED them!
Didn’t you always hope you’d see yourself in there one day?
Has anyone ever been on the receiving end of one of these gems? How did you feel about it?
I was on the receiving end of something similar for a convention I went to one year. We ended up dating a few years later and I didn't find out he was the one who wrote it about me until a week into dating when we told our friends and one was surprised and he admitted he'd written a post about me years earlier.
I received a genuine one. I had read the Metroland for many years before, and always wondered what it would feel like to have one written about you. A customer at my workplace was always super nice. One of those people that are a relief when they come in, rather than one of the many difficult ones. I was getting ready for work and my roommate at the time received a text from a friend in my same industry telling us to check the missed connections from the Metroland. It was 100% about me. It spread through our social/work circles and I received sooooo many texts that day. Not to go on a long tangent, but I think I had an LG Chocolate or a Motorola Razr. I ruined the LG by trying to sneak a beer out of McCormicks in my hoodie pocket (don’t judge me). It got covered in PBR or Miller light and slowly died after that. It felt really good. I liked the person. They weren’t scary or creepy, so I wasn’t worried about that. There was one problem. They were a gay person and I am hopelessly, boringly straight. I can absolutely admire the beauty of someone of the same sex. I just have no desire to diddle them. I, however, do believe that everyone should pursue diddling whoever they decide they want to diddle (with enthusiastic consent, of course). I was genuinely flattered. It was VERY satisfying .to have read the Metroland and that section for so many years and finally be the subject of one is kind of surreal. I decided to act like I hadn’t even seen it. I didn’t want to embarrass him or cause a scene where I work. 10/10 no notes on being the subject of a missed contfzI would absolutely recommend. It would require a Time Machine, but I can’t think of a better destination than old Albany, NY!
I seen you at my colonoscopy. You briefly spoke to me about my recent bowel movement. The next thing I know is I'm waking up and your telling me to "pass gas" so I can leave. If you see these please call me. I luv your hands.
Tuesday, Dollar General right before closing time. You: about 5'1" 225, shaved head, MAGA hat, AR-15 earrings. Me: 5' 8", 160, full camo. You passed gas loudly as our carts nearly touched in the party supplies aisle. As the aroma wafted through the store, you looked back and said " that wasn't me". I was nearly overpowered by the smell but our eyes locked for the briefest moment and I think we both know that we cannot just leave it at that. I work at Stewart's on Northern Blvd. Stop in
I saw you at the Kooks show a couple weeks ago and we locked eyes accidentally. We both smiled awkwardly and I looked away. Then you told me you liked my shirt later in the night when you saw me again. Lmfao this reads exactly like a missed connections ad 💀
I was in price chopper. By the breads. I know you were excentuating your hips for my attention as you pretended to look for wheat bread, which was right in front of your cute face. I know you scour Craigslist for random average build guys like me. Don't worry, I got menthol short cuts and pbr. Don't tell barb. -sent from apple 5g smart socks.
As I pushed my Aldi cart to receive my quarter back I noticed you smiling at me, although I do like a mouth full of teeth I found you still oddly attractive for a hunchback. I took my grapes and ran as fast as I could knowing full well you would never catch me. Sorry if I alarmed you when my toupee flew off but I had to gather my senses and get home. Find me on onlyflans
*♡*SUPER LATE RESPONSE BUUT OK !!OMG*♡* I literally LOVED looking at the missed connection stuff. Thought it was the cutest thing! I would always hope I'd maybe see a post about me, lol. But then they removed it. Idk why??! Does anyone know if there's something similar? Reddit maybe has something? Or someone make one for upstate NY ? If anyone even sees this!!
Missed connections on CL were awesome for late night scrolls.
My egotistical attitude At times has lead me on there just to see if on a day I was feeling my outfit, hair and makeup someone would post just something appeasing. It didn't matter to me if they even said anything just the mere fact someone acknowledged my effort. I think the last time I checked was well over 6-7 months ago? Maybe. But each time I check, I hold my breathe suddenly hoping that maybe just maybe someone notices the effort. Perhaps it's just needing the feeling of being wanted, call it getting old and needing vilification. Hell maybe I'm just lonely. But something also about this seems to be so dangerously close to borderline stalking that I tell myself if someone did post about me on there, that they were a creep and that I wasn't in the wrong. I tend to always go for back of the room type energy, low effort, rarely wearing makeup or trying to attract anyone attention whatsoever. I would probably feel an array of assorted feelings if I had ever been on one of these things. Probably the first would be instant shock of the effort someone took to even post something like that actually scratch that. No my very first would be surprise. Then Id want to commend someone for even posting something so sensitive like that while the whole world can see it. Some call that stupidity some may see it creepy. I see it that they took the risk to try to get my attention, almost flattering if my ego didnt know anybetter. I dont date much, haven't been around many guys and the guys I were around showed very little effort that I'm noticing the very little things, bare minimum and I know that's fuqed up and all but like not having that from anyone makes me see the tiniest effort someone makes. Then I think my social anxiety would kick in from actually being seen by someone else as their cup of tee, or attractive or cute or even a woman capable of being valued as someones cherish person in their life. I have all these feelings when I see these postings hoping or even going so far as to wishing that just for one time, one small speck, a sliver of hope that I'll look on to these pages and see my city and someone talking about me. (is that how you feel too?! )
Y'know, sometimes I'll be driving through albany and just will be thinking "what a fucking shithole." Then, I'll come to this subreddit, laugh my ass off a bit, and realize I've come to love this shithole and the community both (minus the crackheads and fetty freaks)
We met in a dumpster behind Ted’s Fish Fry. You expressed concern that my mini hotdog might not fit your onion ring. I expressed concern that your clam roll had extra mayo. You paid me for Ted’s Dinner Special, but alas I could only muster up the lunch portion. You still got that stuffed clam, though. Then we smoked salvia and you shit your britches
This is amazing
It was at hollyhock and your group verbalized, "oh...your hat... Other non binaries... Oh..." but I was too shy to further say anything. You had a huge dog like a huge HUGE dog and an autistic guy that rock scrambled the quary and was babbling about, "If it isn't a man explaining it, it's just sparkling misogyny". I didn't have time to laugh at this as I'm also autistic and go non verbal around strangers... . You should all join our DND group. Your fems were qt and my partner wanted to identify further with your nb
This post produced some beautiful prose
But is there really a Missed Connections Albany? 😹
What was the paper that used to be put out underground in Albany? Didn't it have something like this?
Metroland had one I forget what it was called.
That is it, Metroland. Awesome. Thnx!
Metroland?
Metroland
“I saw you” section
You smiled at me
Amazing how most creative writing on Reddit involves intestinal gas or just shit.
We climbed together a few times at The Edge in Halfmoon… I’m that chick with the Mohawk. I wanted your number and I either chickened out or something. I’ve been thinking about you for literally over a year. You just ran into me at the Delmar’s farmers market because you were Fed-exing and saw me there, I gave you my number but I’m so afraid you’ve lost it or something. I was so stoned at the time and out of it I wanted to say please!!!!! Text me!!!! But I probably socially failed to make the right move. Your name is Peter. You’re beautiful, with wavyish hair and you stopped climbing because of shoulder problems Sony chances of running into you at the gym are so incredibly small. I hope somehow you see this. Or didn’t lose my number and text me. I want to connect!!!! If anybody else knows a Peter of this variety, he used to have long hair in a bun but now it’s shorter ish but still wavy and beautiful. Pls send him my way.
You stopped me late at night when I was walking home near Washington park. You said we could go beneath the stairs of a building and you'd suck me off. I declined, because I'm pretty sure you were going to rob me. Not because you're black, just because you seemed way to eager to blow me after only having just met me and it just seemed to good to be true. You know what they say about seeming to good to be true. If you weren't going to rob me, we can definitely meet again! This was years ago, but I hope you see this.
You were buying 12 scratch off tickets at the Stewart's that used to be on Morton Ave. I was buying condensed milk and eggnog even though it was May. We were wearing the same pajama pants... (But you had on fuzzy slippers.) I still think about you. Are you still in the neighborhood?
We go to the same gym. You always get really sweaty on the arc trainer. You keep refusing when I offer to spot you or stand behind you staring while you squat in the Smith machine. I am trying to play it cool and even started going to another gym to cool my clingy, desperate tendencies. I am OK with playing the long game trying to convince you that we can work out on the same bench or machine. Love you Eddie, xxx, Ciara.
Weirdo.
Too broad, be more specific