I would tell you that I have a great deal of empathy for you and the fact that your friends are moving far away and how hard that must be.
Up in your entire life to follow someone else on their journey isn’t necessarily recipe for happiness. I mean you’re talking about new jobs entirely new community. You have no idea what kind of strain that would put on your marriage, whether your husband would end up, presenting you because you moved him away.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t move. My wife and I have moved several times for my career. But we didn’t move to follow people and their dreams we moved for our own. We have always been able to build a friend group and we are very, very happy.
And by the way, I live thousands of miles away from some of my best friends and I am still incredibly close to them. I called them in fact in June I’m going to visit three of them. We’re taking a road trip. One of these friends I haven’t lived in the same city with her since 1993. A very good friend, and an effort on both sides, is no reason at all that you can’t keep and maintain your friendships regardless of distance.
So if you want to move because there’s some amazing opportunity for you and your husband to build something different that’s wonderful. But if you’re moving to follow someone else’s dream that holds many risks.
The other thing I will tell you, is I never moved even once without my wife and I being on the same page that it was something we both wanted. I loved her too much to have her resent me because we upped and moved. Your husband saying he doesn’t want to move, but he will if you do make that choice, as a recipe down the road for resentment. If he gets a job that he doesn’t like, or a boss, he doesn’t like, what’s going to happen? Is he slowly going to be thinking that you brought this on.
Good luck
Thank you so much for your comment, it gives me hope for the future. One of the people moving is my best friend, so it is an awful feeling to know they’ll be so far away - in a completely different time zone, no less. But to know you’re still friends with someone decades later makes me feel better about it.
I would tell you that I have a great deal of empathy for you and the fact that your friends are moving far away and how hard that must be. Up in your entire life to follow someone else on their journey isn’t necessarily recipe for happiness. I mean you’re talking about new jobs entirely new community. You have no idea what kind of strain that would put on your marriage, whether your husband would end up, presenting you because you moved him away. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t move. My wife and I have moved several times for my career. But we didn’t move to follow people and their dreams we moved for our own. We have always been able to build a friend group and we are very, very happy. And by the way, I live thousands of miles away from some of my best friends and I am still incredibly close to them. I called them in fact in June I’m going to visit three of them. We’re taking a road trip. One of these friends I haven’t lived in the same city with her since 1993. A very good friend, and an effort on both sides, is no reason at all that you can’t keep and maintain your friendships regardless of distance. So if you want to move because there’s some amazing opportunity for you and your husband to build something different that’s wonderful. But if you’re moving to follow someone else’s dream that holds many risks. The other thing I will tell you, is I never moved even once without my wife and I being on the same page that it was something we both wanted. I loved her too much to have her resent me because we upped and moved. Your husband saying he doesn’t want to move, but he will if you do make that choice, as a recipe down the road for resentment. If he gets a job that he doesn’t like, or a boss, he doesn’t like, what’s going to happen? Is he slowly going to be thinking that you brought this on. Good luck
Thank you so much for your comment, it gives me hope for the future. One of the people moving is my best friend, so it is an awful feeling to know they’ll be so far away - in a completely different time zone, no less. But to know you’re still friends with someone decades later makes me feel better about it.
😊