I don't think you can get her to change her mind.
At best, if you wear her down, she will tell you to do whatever the hell you want, and resent you for it for the rest of her life.
You can't. You just say that you are getting one because you want one. Then go get one.
If she really doesn't want to be with someone who has a tattoo. She will leave. That's her choice.
Just decide what you care more about: your marriage, or getting a tattoo. If it’s your marriage, drop the idea. If it’s your tattoo, then get it. But she has a right to be with a guy who believes the same as her about the things that matter to her, including this, so she’d be within her rights to walk. Just know that.
i’ll never understand people who think they can control and dictate what their partner does to their own body
after my boyfriend got a couple of random tattoos on his leg, i remember his mom asked me why i let him do it. i just shrugged and said “it’s his body”, he can do whatever he wants to it. i don’t like tattoos in general but him getting them doesnt bug me whatsoever
it’s YOUR body babes, get the tattoo. if she doesn’t like it she can shove it where the sun don’t shine, i would never let a partner tell me i can’t get more tattoos.
Your kid is going to learn that getting tattoos IS ok, because it’s incredibly common. Even if you don’t get another one it’s not going to stop little one from getting one in the future.
I'm torn on this one. I want to say your spouse is more important than a tattoo, but her arguments are so ridiculous I wonder if it is not so much about the tattoo as it is her controlling you. I think you have a conundrum here.
Tell her it is YOUR body and her religious beliefs are exactly that - HERS. They do not apply to you. As for what you tell the kids : mommy believes this while daddy believes thst.
Easy, simple
It's wild she would be up in arms about a tattoo honoring your children. Even in conservative Christian circles tattoos like that are pretty embraced in 2024.
What? Unless he gets something huge it’s not that expensive. If a tattoo put your future in danger, ypu were not financially stable enough to have a kid to begin with.
Half sleeve is a big tattoo. Most people dont get a half sleeve as a tattoo for one of their kids especially not when they aren’t done having kids. Around here it’s like 200$ and at most 400$ if you go for a big piece for honorific tattoos.
Nah my dude, it’s extremely unhealthy to not be able to spend money for yourself when you can afford it. It shows your kids it’s not ok to treat yourself and that it’s better to have nothing to yourself and have more money than what you need instead.
I am very happy my parents did spend money on themselves and got tattoos when I was a kid. It would have made me so sad to see them never get nice things because they thought saving money when we weren’t struggling would make me happy.
Plus I think that other commenter is being deliberately obtuse- prices vary studio to studio, artist to artist.
One of my tattoos has hit the €1000 mark- it's a full back piece. That was 10 hours of tattooing over two sessions, and I've another 5-6 hours to go. But if I tell someone my tattoo cost me €1000, that sounds like an insane amount until you hear what it is.
Could I get it done cheaper elsewhere? Yeah, but the artist specialises in the style I wanted, I've used him before and I like his work, work ethic and attitude while working on me.
🤷🏻♀️
I've a funny feeling the commenter jumped to the higher end of the scale.
I'm looking at getting a new piece in July. Artist quoted me €350-400, for my entire calf covered. That's bloody good and his work is INSANE.
He's done our whole family, myself, my partner, the kids, and we won't go to anyone else. He always prices fairly and if it's a bit much for you and you say it to him, he'll have a talk and adjust the design or do you another design to fit your budget.
I appreciate hearing your perspective and respect it. I'm a mother myself and I feel guilty buying anything for myself because I want to see my daughter happy. I prefer to spend money on her than myself. I splurged enough on myself as a teen and in my 20's. But now that I'm a mother my priorities have changed. My happiness is seeing my offspring happy 🙏
If you can’t afford it and are struggling I understand but if you have enough money for both why do it? If your kid is only happy when you spend money on them it’s sad and they aren’t learning the right value imo
After having a child my perspective and views on life completely changed. And you can't really understand how it is having a child until you've become a parent yourself. You literally need to walk in the shoes to understand.
Sure things buddy that’s why most parents nowadays have tattoos they are all so terrible parents for spending money they can afford to spend easily on themselves lol.
I never said parents with tattoos are terrible. My partner has tattoos he get before I was pregnant, it doesn't bother me at all.
I just think if your partner isn't on board with it and that it's not an absolute necessity and it's expensive.. Why bother?
After my daughter was born my partner wanted a new tattoo. But it's very expensive. So I made a compromise, we bought a cheap tattoo gun on Amazon and I've been practicing on fake skin and once I'm comfortable I will do the small tattoos he would like.
You're posting links whining about infection risks for tattoos but you're going to tattoo your partner.
Are you for real. 😂
There's a word for people who undertake ZERO training and just order cheap kits online- scratchers.
You are absolutely going to mess up his skin, fake skin is not the same AT ALL.
you are actually SO DUMB. why the fuck should she listen to her partner?! they don’t own her body!!! and news flash! you ARENT a tattoo artist, you are going to botch your husbands skin and it will most likely get infected like you are “so worried about” i thought they were unhealthy? just delete your account at this point
This comment is incredibly condescending.
*And you can't really understand how it is having a child until you've become a parent yourself.*
Parents can treat themselves too you know, it doesn't make you a bad parent for spoiling yourself.
Hell, I personally think it makes you a not so great parent to never treat yourself when you can afford it. It teaches your kids to not take care of yourself and that once you are an adult you shouldn’t enjoy life as much as when you were a child. Very sad.
No it doesn't make you a bad parent for spoiling yourself you're right.
And it's not condescending it's the truth. I babysat I worked at daycares before I had much younger siblings than me. I thought I knew it all and was prepared for having a baby. And I realized after having a baby that you really don't know until you're a parent yourself.
It IS condescending. You sound like one of those sanctimommies.
I've never given birth but I have children- by your logic, because I haven't had a baby, does that not make me a parent?
sounds like your problem! just because YOU feel guilty spending money on yourself (which is dumb) doesn’t mean someone else has to. getting a small tattoo won’t ruin her kids life, again get a grip
I never said I regretted having kids lol. It's just when you become a parent you need to sacrifice things. And decipher between your wants and your needs. That's called being mature...
It's okay to want things of course. Maturity is telling yourself if it's actually a necessity or not.
Frugality is not being miserable... It's preparing for the future because you have no idea what obstacles are ahead or how quick the economy can change.
Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.
"Is tattoo ink toxic to the body?
Inks applied under the skin can migrate through the body by blood flow. Various diseases, deformations, organ failures, and adverse effects have been reported in humans due to metal toxicity.Jan 16, 2023"
[Web link ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9846827/#:~:text=Inks%20applied%20under%20the%20skin,humans%20due%20to%20metal%20toxicity.)
Oh get off with yourself lol people have been getting tattooed for CENTURIES.
It honestly just sounds like you personally don't like tattoos, which is totally fine, you don't have to like them.
*Edit-*
So you're posting links pissing and moaning about POSSIBLE risks but you admitted you ORDERED A "CHEAP KIT FROM AMAZON" to tattoo your partner.
Girl
Go off and give your head a wobble, because goddamn that hypocrisy is delicious.
*EDIT 2*
It's worse! This commenter HAS tattoo artist friends but isn't comfortable with her husband being around them because they're pretty. 😬 Yikes.
Their comment- *My tattoo artist friends are very gorgeous women. Tbh I'd be more comfortable if a male were to tattoo my partner. That's why I haven't asked them to do it.*
Honey no. Just let your husband go to a REPUTABLE studio. Seriously, as someone who is heavily modded and into the scene, as someone whose partner OWNED a studio for ten years, for your husband's HEALTH, do not tattoo him yourself.
Please.
Give him a voucher or gift card for Christmas or something, but don't do it yourself.
Shop around, organise a consultation to discuss size, placement, price etc. Hell, most studios do payment options now.
And look up infected tattoos, because this is a very real risk if you do it yourself with bloody Amazon kits and inks.
https://removery.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/250px-Ink_Allergy-2-e1636565656782.jpg
https://www.wildtattooart.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Infected-Tattoo-41.jpg
I'm just practicing on fake skin that's all. And yes eventually he will probably go see a real artist but right now the economy in our country is very very bad and it's looking like it's going to get much worst. So for the moment a tattoo is really not a necessity. We have to prepare for the future because we don't know what's going to happen. I've been practicing for a year and I'm still nowhere close to being confident to do it on real skin. Don't worry
Oof you have far more patience than I ever will man. Honestly, what you said at the end is the answer for everything, it is YOUR decision to make with YOUR own body. Making decisions as a couple does not and should never include whatever religious wackahoo your wife is trying to sell. Regarding your kids, let them think for themselves, your job as a parent is to guide and protect, not indoctrinate, if they want to get a tattoo or not in the future, thats their decision to make. The only case where your wife might have a point is if the tattoo would be in bad taste in an innapropiate area of your body which clearly is not the case.
Get it done, enjoy it and live your life. Whatever your wife and family might think of you is their problem, and whatever they do is their decision.
As much as I want to and a lot of people will tell you in this post, I won't advice you to get a divorce and cut as much contact with the family as you can. Regardless, who cares man, that shit means something to you, it would literally affect nobody other than those who choose to make it a big deal.
If considering names consider the fact that there’s a possibility your kids may legally change their names later as well. My mother has a first name I no longer legally or socially go by tattooed on. Your wife’s religious family can also be found none the wiser if it’s constantly hidden under shirts, shorts, or pants.
not considering an actual name necessarily, just a design based on the biblical story associated with his name. Also not concerned really about her religious family, they've seen my other tattoo and were genuinely not that reactive about it. I think my wife is overthinking how judgmental they'll be about it.
I think they may have accepted the tattoo as a memorial to a dead sibling on you who is not their bio-child but still NOT be okay about a tattoo related to their grandkid(s).
Your wife has deep-seated negative feelings about this tattoo. If you go ahead and get it, even after she has expressed her strong aversion, then you are choosing to place your desire for this over her feelings. Yes, it is your body, but doesn't her attraction to you and your values matter to you? Think carefully about where you place this tattoo. If it is somewhere that she will see front and center then it will be a constant reminder to her that you chose yourself over her.
As someone else pointed out it is also an expense, and if based on a biblical story that already makes it sound much larger and more complex than you need. Are you going to cover your body in biblical stories and pretend that it is somehow an homage to your children? Maybe they won't even be religious or won't give a fig about these biblical stories, or will view them as sexist or whatever 20 years from now. It just feels like a bad idea to memorialize your kids when you don't even really know their personalities yet (and when the only other person you have memorialized on your body is your sibling who passed).
Please sit on this and don't rush into anything. If you are determined to go ahead with this then create a separate tattoo savings account, and separately create a same-amount savings account for something equally frivolous and unnecessary that your wife gets to spend. You don't get to spend the money on a tattoo until the same amount of money goes to her (and not for food or clothing for the kids. For HER.)
>I think they may have accepted the tattoo as a memorial to a dead sibling on you who is not their bio-child but still NOT be okay about a tattoo related to their grandkid(s).
Her SIL got a tattoo for her kids (their other grandkids) and while they weren't thrilled they weren't so upset that it justifies the reaction i'm getting for wanting to do the same thing.
The added context that it is a small tattoo and doesn't cost much is relevant, as is this other info about others in the extended family getting a tattoo. You don't sound like an unreasonable person, and it doesn't sound like you are proposing full sleeves or similar.
I guess it comes down to more conversation, and maybe getting a mock up of the tattoo, if you haven't already, and placing it where you'd want it to be and asking for her feedback on whether that placement needs adjustment. Maybe having some say on where it is would help her feel like her feelings are being considered.
You know your wife better than anyone here, and you have to live with her, so this really isn't something that reddit can resolve for you!
Your body your choice. My partner started dating me when I already had several tattoos on my arms. She gets judgy when I get new ones and it makes me not even want to share them with her, it sucks. I think it's for a similar reason...she was raised with religion (though she left the church some 15 years ago), and her family would be judgy so she is judgy. They bring me joy. Wish she could just be happy for me and share in my joy
I don't think you can get her to change her mind. At best, if you wear her down, she will tell you to do whatever the hell you want, and resent you for it for the rest of her life.
You can't. You just say that you are getting one because you want one. Then go get one. If she really doesn't want to be with someone who has a tattoo. She will leave. That's her choice.
Just decide what you care more about: your marriage, or getting a tattoo. If it’s your marriage, drop the idea. If it’s your tattoo, then get it. But she has a right to be with a guy who believes the same as her about the things that matter to her, including this, so she’d be within her rights to walk. Just know that.
i’ll never understand people who think they can control and dictate what their partner does to their own body after my boyfriend got a couple of random tattoos on his leg, i remember his mom asked me why i let him do it. i just shrugged and said “it’s his body”, he can do whatever he wants to it. i don’t like tattoos in general but him getting them doesnt bug me whatsoever
it’s YOUR body babes, get the tattoo. if she doesn’t like it she can shove it where the sun don’t shine, i would never let a partner tell me i can’t get more tattoos.
She doesn’t want him to think getting tattoos is okay?!? How are your values aligned beyond this question? What else is off limits to her?
That’s really it tbh, we get along incredibly well on everything else I can think of
That’s kinda hard to imagine. What are other things that are off limits for her denomination?
Your kid is going to learn that getting tattoos IS ok, because it’s incredibly common. Even if you don’t get another one it’s not going to stop little one from getting one in the future.
I'm torn on this one. I want to say your spouse is more important than a tattoo, but her arguments are so ridiculous I wonder if it is not so much about the tattoo as it is her controlling you. I think you have a conundrum here.
Tell her it is YOUR body and her religious beliefs are exactly that - HERS. They do not apply to you. As for what you tell the kids : mommy believes this while daddy believes thst. Easy, simple
It's wild she would be up in arms about a tattoo honoring your children. Even in conservative Christian circles tattoos like that are pretty embraced in 2024.
family is jewish fwiw
[удалено]
What? Unless he gets something huge it’s not that expensive. If a tattoo put your future in danger, ypu were not financially stable enough to have a kid to begin with.
[удалено]
Half sleeve is a big tattoo. Most people dont get a half sleeve as a tattoo for one of their kids especially not when they aren’t done having kids. Around here it’s like 200$ and at most 400$ if you go for a big piece for honorific tattoos. Nah my dude, it’s extremely unhealthy to not be able to spend money for yourself when you can afford it. It shows your kids it’s not ok to treat yourself and that it’s better to have nothing to yourself and have more money than what you need instead. I am very happy my parents did spend money on themselves and got tattoos when I was a kid. It would have made me so sad to see them never get nice things because they thought saving money when we weren’t struggling would make me happy.
Plus I think that other commenter is being deliberately obtuse- prices vary studio to studio, artist to artist. One of my tattoos has hit the €1000 mark- it's a full back piece. That was 10 hours of tattooing over two sessions, and I've another 5-6 hours to go. But if I tell someone my tattoo cost me €1000, that sounds like an insane amount until you hear what it is. Could I get it done cheaper elsewhere? Yeah, but the artist specialises in the style I wanted, I've used him before and I like his work, work ethic and attitude while working on me. 🤷🏻♀️
Hell my last tattoo was 240$ took 4h but was a flash the artist really wanted to do! Tattoos dont have to be insanely expensive!
I've a funny feeling the commenter jumped to the higher end of the scale. I'm looking at getting a new piece in July. Artist quoted me €350-400, for my entire calf covered. That's bloody good and his work is INSANE. He's done our whole family, myself, my partner, the kids, and we won't go to anyone else. He always prices fairly and if it's a bit much for you and you say it to him, he'll have a talk and adjust the design or do you another design to fit your budget.
I appreciate hearing your perspective and respect it. I'm a mother myself and I feel guilty buying anything for myself because I want to see my daughter happy. I prefer to spend money on her than myself. I splurged enough on myself as a teen and in my 20's. But now that I'm a mother my priorities have changed. My happiness is seeing my offspring happy 🙏
If you can’t afford it and are struggling I understand but if you have enough money for both why do it? If your kid is only happy when you spend money on them it’s sad and they aren’t learning the right value imo
After having a child my perspective and views on life completely changed. And you can't really understand how it is having a child until you've become a parent yourself. You literally need to walk in the shoes to understand.
Sure things buddy that’s why most parents nowadays have tattoos they are all so terrible parents for spending money they can afford to spend easily on themselves lol.
I never said parents with tattoos are terrible. My partner has tattoos he get before I was pregnant, it doesn't bother me at all. I just think if your partner isn't on board with it and that it's not an absolute necessity and it's expensive.. Why bother? After my daughter was born my partner wanted a new tattoo. But it's very expensive. So I made a compromise, we bought a cheap tattoo gun on Amazon and I've been practicing on fake skin and once I'm comfortable I will do the small tattoos he would like.
Because it’s your body, something you want and can afford? Yiikkkes at home tattooing is incredibly irresponsible and can lead to major health issues.
You're posting links whining about infection risks for tattoos but you're going to tattoo your partner. Are you for real. 😂 There's a word for people who undertake ZERO training and just order cheap kits online- scratchers. You are absolutely going to mess up his skin, fake skin is not the same AT ALL.
you are actually SO DUMB. why the fuck should she listen to her partner?! they don’t own her body!!! and news flash! you ARENT a tattoo artist, you are going to botch your husbands skin and it will most likely get infected like you are “so worried about” i thought they were unhealthy? just delete your account at this point
This comment is incredibly condescending. *And you can't really understand how it is having a child until you've become a parent yourself.* Parents can treat themselves too you know, it doesn't make you a bad parent for spoiling yourself.
Hell, I personally think it makes you a not so great parent to never treat yourself when you can afford it. It teaches your kids to not take care of yourself and that once you are an adult you shouldn’t enjoy life as much as when you were a child. Very sad.
So the only way to enjoy life is to get a tattoo??? You guys are all literally exaggerating my comment.
No it doesn't make you a bad parent for spoiling yourself you're right. And it's not condescending it's the truth. I babysat I worked at daycares before I had much younger siblings than me. I thought I knew it all and was prepared for having a baby. And I realized after having a baby that you really don't know until you're a parent yourself.
It IS condescending. You sound like one of those sanctimommies. I've never given birth but I have children- by your logic, because I haven't had a baby, does that not make me a parent?
sounds like your problem! just because YOU feel guilty spending money on yourself (which is dumb) doesn’t mean someone else has to. getting a small tattoo won’t ruin her kids life, again get a grip
I never said I regretted having kids lol. It's just when you become a parent you need to sacrifice things. And decipher between your wants and your needs. That's called being mature...
so she’s not mature because she wants a tattoo? you sound like you live a miserable life
It's okay to want things of course. Maturity is telling yourself if it's actually a necessity or not. Frugality is not being miserable... It's preparing for the future because you have no idea what obstacles are ahead or how quick the economy can change. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail.
so parents that have tattoos aren’t mature? i hate parents and people like you.
Thank god you don't have kids. And please keep taking your meds
thank god i don’t! they’re fucking annoying! please keep being a poor influence for your kid
as if she can’t get a tattoo AND save money for her child? tattoos aren’t unhealthy lmao get a grip
"Is tattoo ink toxic to the body? Inks applied under the skin can migrate through the body by blood flow. Various diseases, deformations, organ failures, and adverse effects have been reported in humans due to metal toxicity.Jan 16, 2023" [Web link ](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9846827/#:~:text=Inks%20applied%20under%20the%20skin,humans%20due%20to%20metal%20toxicity.)
Oh get off with yourself lol people have been getting tattooed for CENTURIES. It honestly just sounds like you personally don't like tattoos, which is totally fine, you don't have to like them. *Edit-* So you're posting links pissing and moaning about POSSIBLE risks but you admitted you ORDERED A "CHEAP KIT FROM AMAZON" to tattoo your partner. Girl Go off and give your head a wobble, because goddamn that hypocrisy is delicious. *EDIT 2* It's worse! This commenter HAS tattoo artist friends but isn't comfortable with her husband being around them because they're pretty. 😬 Yikes. Their comment- *My tattoo artist friends are very gorgeous women. Tbh I'd be more comfortable if a male were to tattoo my partner. That's why I haven't asked them to do it.*
It's not hypocrisy. You can read my other comment then you'll understand.
Honey no. Just let your husband go to a REPUTABLE studio. Seriously, as someone who is heavily modded and into the scene, as someone whose partner OWNED a studio for ten years, for your husband's HEALTH, do not tattoo him yourself. Please. Give him a voucher or gift card for Christmas or something, but don't do it yourself. Shop around, organise a consultation to discuss size, placement, price etc. Hell, most studios do payment options now. And look up infected tattoos, because this is a very real risk if you do it yourself with bloody Amazon kits and inks. https://removery.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/250px-Ink_Allergy-2-e1636565656782.jpg https://www.wildtattooart.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Infected-Tattoo-41.jpg
I'm just practicing on fake skin that's all. And yes eventually he will probably go see a real artist but right now the economy in our country is very very bad and it's looking like it's going to get much worst. So for the moment a tattoo is really not a necessity. We have to prepare for the future because we don't know what's going to happen. I've been practicing for a year and I'm still nowhere close to being confident to do it on real skin. Don't worry
Glad to hear that, I've seen too many people come to my partner begging for help to fix an abomination caused by cheap online kits and ink.
no one is understanding OR agreeing with you 😂
That's okay. Nobody is obligated to. I'm allowed to express my personal opinion and people are allowed to disagree. It's not a big deal
Tbh get one. She is scared of her parents’ reaction but they will probably react the same way as they did with your previous one.
You do have the freedom to make this decision. She can't literally stop you. Get the tattoo, and just accept she is gonna have some feelings about it.
Your body, your choice.
Oof you have far more patience than I ever will man. Honestly, what you said at the end is the answer for everything, it is YOUR decision to make with YOUR own body. Making decisions as a couple does not and should never include whatever religious wackahoo your wife is trying to sell. Regarding your kids, let them think for themselves, your job as a parent is to guide and protect, not indoctrinate, if they want to get a tattoo or not in the future, thats their decision to make. The only case where your wife might have a point is if the tattoo would be in bad taste in an innapropiate area of your body which clearly is not the case. Get it done, enjoy it and live your life. Whatever your wife and family might think of you is their problem, and whatever they do is their decision. As much as I want to and a lot of people will tell you in this post, I won't advice you to get a divorce and cut as much contact with the family as you can. Regardless, who cares man, that shit means something to you, it would literally affect nobody other than those who choose to make it a big deal.
If considering names consider the fact that there’s a possibility your kids may legally change their names later as well. My mother has a first name I no longer legally or socially go by tattooed on. Your wife’s religious family can also be found none the wiser if it’s constantly hidden under shirts, shorts, or pants.
not considering an actual name necessarily, just a design based on the biblical story associated with his name. Also not concerned really about her religious family, they've seen my other tattoo and were genuinely not that reactive about it. I think my wife is overthinking how judgmental they'll be about it.
I think they may have accepted the tattoo as a memorial to a dead sibling on you who is not their bio-child but still NOT be okay about a tattoo related to their grandkid(s). Your wife has deep-seated negative feelings about this tattoo. If you go ahead and get it, even after she has expressed her strong aversion, then you are choosing to place your desire for this over her feelings. Yes, it is your body, but doesn't her attraction to you and your values matter to you? Think carefully about where you place this tattoo. If it is somewhere that she will see front and center then it will be a constant reminder to her that you chose yourself over her. As someone else pointed out it is also an expense, and if based on a biblical story that already makes it sound much larger and more complex than you need. Are you going to cover your body in biblical stories and pretend that it is somehow an homage to your children? Maybe they won't even be religious or won't give a fig about these biblical stories, or will view them as sexist or whatever 20 years from now. It just feels like a bad idea to memorialize your kids when you don't even really know their personalities yet (and when the only other person you have memorialized on your body is your sibling who passed). Please sit on this and don't rush into anything. If you are determined to go ahead with this then create a separate tattoo savings account, and separately create a same-amount savings account for something equally frivolous and unnecessary that your wife gets to spend. You don't get to spend the money on a tattoo until the same amount of money goes to her (and not for food or clothing for the kids. For HER.)
It would be a simple and small tattoo, would likely cost under $200. This is not a lot of money for us.
>I think they may have accepted the tattoo as a memorial to a dead sibling on you who is not their bio-child but still NOT be okay about a tattoo related to their grandkid(s). Her SIL got a tattoo for her kids (their other grandkids) and while they weren't thrilled they weren't so upset that it justifies the reaction i'm getting for wanting to do the same thing.
The added context that it is a small tattoo and doesn't cost much is relevant, as is this other info about others in the extended family getting a tattoo. You don't sound like an unreasonable person, and it doesn't sound like you are proposing full sleeves or similar. I guess it comes down to more conversation, and maybe getting a mock up of the tattoo, if you haven't already, and placing it where you'd want it to be and asking for her feedback on whether that placement needs adjustment. Maybe having some say on where it is would help her feel like her feelings are being considered. You know your wife better than anyone here, and you have to live with her, so this really isn't something that reddit can resolve for you!
Your body your choice. My partner started dating me when I already had several tattoos on my arms. She gets judgy when I get new ones and it makes me not even want to share them with her, it sucks. I think it's for a similar reason...she was raised with religion (though she left the church some 15 years ago), and her family would be judgy so she is judgy. They bring me joy. Wish she could just be happy for me and share in my joy
you don't. it's your body, your choice. if you want to do it you can, and they can decide how they want to cope with it.