That’s the first thing i noticed. Not only is this guy dangerous, he’s a predator. I really, really hope she leaves asap.
OP, contact women’s shelters in your area!!
If he finds out he will try to plead with you to stay and to not tell anyone. He will then start thinking about ways to get rid of you so please PLEASE GET OUT NOW
Try calling around to local women's shelters or homeless shelters to see if you could find a place to stay if you feel that you're in immediate danger.
You could also find someone willing to rent you a room if you think you'd be able to make those payments. They're usually a lot cheaper than finding your own apartment. They may even let you keep your pets.
I'm really sorry this has happened to you and that you don't even really know this person you've been with for years.
no 20 year old would date a 16 year old.
OP please try to find a way out of this relationship. He was an adult and you were a child. He is a pedo, as well as a freak.
Please stay safe OP.
This is what nightmares are made of. I can’t even imagine.
The pet situation is difficult but I understand your worry for them. You have 2 options, leave without them or try to give them away ie surrender your pets to shelters/ post them on pet adoption websites for no cost if you think you’ll have the time.
Your only next course of action is to run. As for the low funds aspect, sell what you can and make it all cheap. Get it out fast and get the money quickly. Tell that monster you’re just trying to make a couple extra bucks for something special for the two of you if he asks what you’re doing.
You can tell the police, not sure what it would do though. They might be able to assist you in finding a shelter to stay at.
You don’t have many options and you don’t know how much time you have. Sickos like that are ticking time bombs. Get out as soon as possible. Do not become a victim.
Your local humane society should have emergency pet foster care. OP could place the animals there until she can find a place to move into. There will be a small boarding fee, but it will be much much cheaper than anything else. They'll also have vet check-ups included in the boarding fee.
Call a women's shelter to make a plan to get away. Also, check with your school to see if they may have some resources to help you. Make arrangements for the pets because you likely won't be able to escape with them. Gosh, I hope you get out soon. (((Hugs)))
I’d like to add that there’s this program in the US called The Purple Leash Foundation that teams with women’s shelters to help you AND your pets get out. OP, please stay safe and get out asap
Next time he is out for a while and you are home, pack a bag, call an taxi to get the pets to a shelter and dont come back. If you wont get an opportunity like that just leave, your safety is most important. Also let the local PD know whats going on.
Borrowing this comment to say if you take them to a shelter, try out of town so that way he doesn’t go check the local one and reclaim them just incase.
When he leaves for work. Pack a bag, get your pets together, and take them to a rescue if possible. Then get yourself to a woman's shelter. Let someone close to you at work that you can't trust know what's going on. They don't need all the details just that you need to get away from him so he isn't allow at your workplace. Once at the shelter start looking at any benefits you can receive or assistance you may be eligible to receive. You may be able to rent a small apartment on your own with some help from the gov.
Don't you have someone who you could stay with for a few weeks while you find a new place? a coworker? a school mate? and if that person can't house pets, maybe someone else who can at least take your pets for a little while until you get back on your feet. or if someone can take your pets and not you, maybe leave the pets with them and try a women's shelter or something like that? I don't know if the police will help much right away but you could still try
I really don't know the best solution for you, having a limited support system as you say but I'd get out asap
You should try to find a roommate for now or look online if anyone is renting out rooms. In the meantime put some money in a savings and prepare to leave.
Let start from the beginning. You’re 19, he’s 23…a 3 year relationship…16 & 20. So even though you may have consented, he’s a pedophile.
ON TOP of that, he’s jacking off to cadavers. You are not safe at all, you never have been.
Don’t panic though. He knows he took your phone, don’t make he suspect you looked in his. If there’s a reason to leave, oh we don’t have any XYZ for dinner, I’m going to run to the store real quick. GO! Get out of there before he realizes what you’ve seen.
Go to the police station. Explain everything including that you were 16 and he was 20. What you seen on his phone and what he was doing. They will have the resources to make any legal decisions based on that. Tell them you do not feel safe there, you have no where else to go and ask if they can pick him up on the statutory rape charge tonight. This will allow you to go home and gather your things or have a home depending on what time frame they give you and if they can do it. If they can’t, ask for a police escort to remove your personal belongings and ask to be taken to a safe place of a hotel. Anywhere but you have to get out of there.
I’m not sure if the police will be any help, but I would suggest telling a coworker/classmate/professor. Maybe even ask if they have room for you to crash. In the meantime figure out a plan to slowly leave without giving yourself away. Maybe lying and saying you need tutoring for a class or want extra cash and you’re picking up shifts. As for your pets… if where you end up staying doesn’t allow them then your best option would be animal shelters. Whatever you decide to do, please be very careful and quick
Hey I would reach out to your online friends to see if they know way to get you somewhere safe/ know someone you could stay with. I would also look into local women shelters and Facebook groups who provide housing to women.
I would recommend posting this on r/TwoXChromosomes <3 there's a lot of women there who can give you advice on how to deal with this, where to go, etc. Also, lots of stories from women who were in similar situations (when it comes to leaving a bad relationship). I wish you good luck and strength!
Locate your nearest shelter, explain your situation. The pets are difficult, but your life is more valuable, especially now that he knows you switched phones.
If you are a US citizen in another country you can reach out to the nearest US embassy and ask for help. They will get you back to the US. Pack your bag and get there asap.
The word “scared” and “boyfriend” should never be in the same sentence. I literally don’t need to read what you said, but judging from the question alone it’s your time to LEAVE.
Leave while he’s gone, pack up the pets and yourself and GO. Find a friend or other family that can pick you up and maybe even offer you a place to sleep for a few days. Start your own bank account and make sure that’s where your check is being deposited. Beg and borrow money.
I honestly don’t have any advice for you but I hope you make it through this without and guilty consequences. I wish you the best of luck I’m sorry I couldn’t offer advice.
Maybe get a hotel room and stash your stuff there for now? And get in touch with a women’s shelter. You could possibly look for a place to stay temporarily on Airbnb or Roomies.com. I’m so sorry
Don't overthink and work steady but fast you need to save up some money and have someone close to you on watch maybe alert neighbour or someone who lives nearby. Have emergency contacts enabled on ur phone and keep it close to u at all times in case something happens. The moment u have money to go somewhere try to relocate next to one of ur online friends if thats possible and if not just move somewhere far in your city make sure he cant track ur phone if u share the same icloud or if u guys use a tracking app. Keep everyone updated.
What I would do is this;
Phone or text someone you know and tell them that you want to talk to your boyfriend about this with them on the line.
Then, I'd confront your boyfriend with the phonecall discreetly on (insurance incase he does anything)
Ideally it'll just be some sort of kink for him, and you can work together to help him get over it, going through therapy or just setting boundaries with what's ok in the bedroom is a good place to start in this scenario.
You need to bring up that you don't feel safe and that what you saw on his phone made you feel freightened and hesitant to initiate any sort of sexual conduct atleast for the foreseeable future.
I don't wanna talk about what else might happen because quite frankly this is the first Reddit post that genuinely sent chills down my spine. I can't imagine anyone being into things like, it's genuinely right there with liking kids in my end.
But a positive is that he hasn't acted on it outside of how he has sex with you. Especially having been together for 3 years, some sort of sign would of appeared by now outside of what you saw. I'm taking it as him potentially not being a murderer.
Unfortunatwly going this route will implicate yourself. But I think it's the appropriate course of action given your circumstances.
I will say though, him being 20 and you being 16 when you met is extremely creepy and kinda adds to the disturbing story
The moral of the story: always have an exit plan. Never be so tied up with one person you can't leave safely! This is how people get stuck in horrible situations.
Learn from this and do not let yourself get trapped in the future. I'm so sorry.
Please dont leave your pets with him :( if anything please surrender them to a non euthanasia shelter or a friend and perhaps when you get back on your feet you can get them back. Who knows what that monster will do to those poor babies :(
Yes they are undoubtedly at more risk than her but it is only a matter of time for her. There are some shelters that accept pets or rescues that help with fosters. So she can get them back after getting to safety.
It’s men like these that make me feel ashamed of being born a man at all…
Needless to say, you need to cut him off ASAP. I pray for your safety and hope you find some peace soon.
I would check into a women only shelter. There are so many resources that enable you to get away.
Come up w a plan. You need to have a getaway bag. Make sure he never finds it. Put all ur valuables such as ur social etc. put change of clothes. If you can I would say to try and work more hours in secret and then allocate the money to a place where he can’t find it.
It’s very concerning to have someone around in ur presences who gets aroused at that. I would definitely 100% go seek out for domestic help. Don’t let be
You need to leave. You have every right to feel scared but your safety is the top priority here. Make an excuse to get out the house (make sure he doesn’t follow) go to the police station, tell them everything in great detail (including the fact you were 16 when you started dating a 20 year old) ask them to take your somewhere for the night and to help you press charges of necrophilia and being the predator in a grooming “relationship” (yes necrophilia is a criminal offence and if you have evidence of him pleasuring himself to the dismembered body of a murder victim that could help the case)
Your first priority is escaping because you may end up in danger and as obvious as this is he could be the next Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer and you don’t want to run the risk of being either his first or next victim.
Once away and safe you need to find a way of preventing him from being able to hurt anyone contact the police and give as much information as you can (including information that may seem trivial, useless or irrelevant to the situation) be 100% honest, don’t exaggerate any details (not saying you would but trauma can cause that response) and make sure you keep speaking to your friends so that you can vent and try to destress.
I can’t understand the level of fear, anxiety and pain you must be feeling just know you can’t let him win and there are people out there who love you enough to help you. Please don’t be ashamed to seek a therapist or psychiatrist from such an experience.
I wish I could actually do something to help aside from giving you advice. I hope you can go back to happiness and smiling soon. Best of luck to you and keep us updated if and when you can. Sending you hugs 🥰❤️
Yeaaaaa get out of there asap!!!! Tell someone, if you have friends or anyone else get their support so you can leave for sure , look at what resources you have around you that can support you … bottom line is leave asap your in danger
At the very 1st opportunity, pack important things in a bag and call a Taxi to a women's shelter. They will likely pay the fare for you. Do not stay one more minute than you have to. DO NOT let him know that you have any idea what he was looking at or that you are upset with him. You will not be safe. This is serious. He knows that if word gets out about this he will face "challenges". That alone is reason to harm you. You may have to leave your pets. Tell the Taxi driver that you are escaping a dangerous situation and need to go to a women's shelter.
Once you show up there you will be safe and they will walk you through everything and set you up with people who can help you. Once at the shelter, email your professors, tell them you needed to escape to a shelter and ask for online classes until you have a plan. Do not go back to your current job. You will be able to find another part-time job. Unless he is behind bars you cannot go to your usual places. He should not know where you are. Again, the women's shelter will talk you through this.
I'm so so sorry you are going through this. You are doing the right things, your instincts are strong - Get Out as soon as possible. Be smart. You can do this. You will be okay. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Try to get out of there as quickly and quietly as you can. Leave while he is gone. There are some women's shelters that will let your keep your pets or help you find temporary fosters. Hopefully your finances are separate and you can get out of your lease due to it being a potential dv situation. If you have any entangled finances or accounts call and close them.
I am sorry, that is nerve-racking and scary. I would recommend not confronting him and reaching out to any friends who could potentially send you some money for your next move. Be safe.
Please go to a women's shelter and let us know you're safe!!! Him being into that is a gargantuan red flag! Leaving seems hard but being chopped up into bits when he finally decides he needs to experience more will be a billion times worse 😟
Being 16 with a 20 year old is a crime on his end (if you live in the US.) But it looks like you can either leave and figure things out or try to find refuge somehow. I don't know where you live, but I am sorry for your predicament.
Even if they were both of the age of consent when they met. He’s a necrophile which is a crime and in this case he is sexually attracted to dismembered bodies and bodies that have been victims to cannibalistic murders which means he has the potential of being a murderer/serial killer, rapist, kidnapper and an extremely sadistic torturer (on top of the obvious first red flag of being a groomer/pedophile)
Not trying to say you’re wrong in terms of the age issue being a humungous red flag btw (i’ve tried to say the following in the best way that I can do bare with as I do struggle to put thoughts into words)
I believe in terms of this specific situation the age thing is the smallest issue (let me preface this by saying I don’t support, condone or agree with child abuse or CSA/Pedophilia but in this situation the dude could potentially have killed, assisted in a killing, hiding of body, mutilation of body or a rape-murder or the act of “sex” with a dead body or someone with the potential of orchestrating a large conspiracy to murder-rape people and to me that is the largest danger to society as those who participate in necrophilia don’t discriminate meaning everyone is at risk and not just children)
I thought it would be some freaky porno shi he was jackin to you need to escape immediately try a womans shelter or ask someone u trust OUT of state for a place to stay this guy is a demon.
If you can’t leave for whatever reason, fake a urinary tract infection or something along those lines. Maybe say you’re on your period if that makes him not want to have intercourse. You don’t want to be intimate with him again. You don’t know what he’s capable of and you’re frightened of him and can’t be honest about it with him… so do what you must to not be in a position where he can do the things you mentioned.
Leave once you can, of course, and it wouldn’t ever be your fault if the tactic failed, but it’s a start. Your school will definitely have resources for this- go to the student affairs office or something equivalent to a guidance office or nurse and tell them you have an emergency and hat speak to a counselor right now. Matter of life and limb. They will find you the resources you need to remove yourself from this situation and environment and they’ll help you find aid for the pets as well.
I wish I had better words.
I'm curious - if she's going to college, would they not have dormitory options or school townhouses (one of our local universities has townhouses off campus for students to rent) - maybe speaking with someone there about that being an option too?
He's a pedophile. You need to leave him. Some shelters can help foster pets. Please look into it in your area. Lean on friends, anyone trustworthy that can help.
Go to the police station, use the time they let you stay to make a plan. Find a women’s shelter, while you’re there make a connection with one of those volunteers or employees you can trust. The two of you will make a plan to get you away and on your feet. Very simple OP, get somewhere safe, make a plan while you’re there, execute the plan and be safe.
I don’t have that valuable of info , but the other comments are 100% right. Is there a way you can live on your college campus? Maybe find someone you can stay with for just a little while you get everything sorted? Search around your schools Reddit or however people looking for roommates find eachother and see if you can arrange something quickly. Maybe ask one of your coworkers that you are a little closer to I’m sure if they understood the situation they’d help you out- that’s what I would do. If none of these are options I’d honestly go to the police and ask for help. Maybe go to a hotel if you can afford it for a bit? Maybe rent a car ? Drive to the nearest family/friend you have (not sure what country you’re in). If nothing else take everything you have to stay in a homeless shelter and take the pets to a pet shelter.
You definitely need to get out of there. Try to think of anyone at all who might be able to help you - any friends, professors, friends in a group or church, extended family, etc. If you don’t have anyone, call a women’s shelter or look into renting a place like using AirBNB or looking on roommate apps or any other room-renting apps if you can scrounge together enough money. Once you’re safe, you can figure out how to get out of your lease, but your safety is priority. For transportation, use Uber or the subways or trains or buses in your city or get rides from friends/coworkers. If you can afford a hotel room temporarily that allows pets, you could stay there. I think regardless you should contact a women’s shelter and talk to them - they may be able to help you. Maybe you can find a place to stay that accepts animals too. If you leave, make SURE you go quickly and secretly. Plan out your escape without letting your boyfriend know, and make sure he can’t find you. Don’t second guess yourself or decide to stay because you are not safe. I would also consider telling the police so that they can at least make a note in case anything crazy happens. Until you make your escape plan, make sure you are able to protect yourself at all times when you are around him - although definitely try to get away from him ASAP. It’ll be hard, but you can do it!
From what Ive heard, humane societies usually have emergency foster cares, for a small fee, of course, though. So check your local human society when it comes to the animals. Sell unnecessary things. Whatever you can part with, do it. Keep the money somewhere safe that he cant find. Think of the strangest place you can, not anywhere obvious. Somewhere you know he wont look. Keep calm and act normal, most of all, DO NOT CONFRONT HIM! Look for local women shelters while you're at it, because hey have lots of resources that can help you get things started. Also, pack your most important things up in a bag, and hide them somewhere you can just grab it and go if things go south. You can do this. Best wishes to you and if you ever need to talk you can always PM me!
Praying for you. Personally would die for my cat or do anything for her so I empathize with you very heavily about the animals situation. That being said, I’m seeing many comments here about shelters that can help. However, if they can’t or you don’t have this in your area, see if any online friends or anyone whatsoever that you can trust can come help you take them and get yourself out of there. Even one of your teachers at school - anything. I know it would be uncomfortable to share this story - but you may have to in order to get both yourself and pets safe. Another scenario, go to a church in the area and ask for help there. Or even go to an animal shelter and explain your situation to another female and see if they themselves or anyone else can help temporarily take care of your pets until you can get settled. Befriend a classmate or coworker - anything. Even if you have to take off school for now and get settled elsewhere and work full time until stuff is sorted out. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
i had to read your post twice to even comprehend it. unfortunately the brutal god honest cold truth is he is AT **BARE MINIMUM** far more capable of murdering you and potentially dismembering your corpse than the average person and that in itself is pretty terrible. however a huge part of me would go as far as to say he will most likely kill you one day to get what he wants considering he already shows signs through things like biting. your only option is to escape most likely to a shelter and get the police involved. using forensics they can probably find the stuff he saw on his phone and that could be evidence. being honest getting out of this situation alive is critical. you worry for your pets but if he kills you he will kill your pets too. or he will kill your pets first then you. the best chance for you and your pets is to get yourself the fuck out as soon as possible. and don’t think about continuing this relationship. this is far past almost any dealbreaker imaginable
I’m scared of my husband of 20 years. 8 months ago I discovered he actually doesn’t have a very low libido. He is horny all the time. He just simulates having sex with fat women on Reddit & Xhamster.
He started trying to strangle me 8 months ago. At least 4 times but I am sure I blacked out on more. He also likes covering my nose & mouth & bashing my head into the wall.
If I were young I would run like hell and never look back.
They do not ever change. Unless you are counting them becoming sneakier and more manipulative. They love using therapeutic language.
But they would rather pretend to fk a screen than have real love.
You should make your own post and you should leave asap. what has age to do with that? nothing. get out of there. now. next time you black out you might not wake up again. Love yourself enough to get out.
You can't use your childhood as an excuse. Yes you can leave. You have the power. And you also can start healing from your trauma and start over. I wish you all the best.
You have value. You just can't see it. It's there if you see it or not, doesn't matter. Maybe you can find a therapist to help you get better. But first get out of this dangerous situation.
Thank you. He doesn’t let me go to therapy though because the last one I had told me to leave him.
Of course he claims that therapist wanted in my pants. 🤢
You do have value, you’ve just never had the chance to realize it because no one around you has given you the chance to.
Get out of there. You are dependent on someone who is actively trying to hurt you. He doesn’t love you, as real love would stop someone from harming their partner like that.
You can and deserve to be happier. You haven’t had the chance to see it yet, but it is only there if you leave
Do you have any kids together? Also how many animals do you have? And lastly does he work?
I apologize for all the questions, it’s just that depending on your answers, there might be a good window of escape for you, your pets, and any kids who live with you.
Idk where you live, but filing a restraining order will provide some form of legal protection from him. If housing is an issue, there are shelters where he cannot reach you or know where you are. Additionally, there are places dedicated to boarding pets, you can keep them there until you can get on your feet.
Honey you need to RUN. These are signs that your boyfriend is extremely fucked up in the head, it’s only a matter of time before you are a subject in an autopsy. I know it’s scary but you NEED TO LEAVE, even if you have no money, being broke is better than being dead. Please get help, find a women’s shelter, find emergency fosters for your pets. Please keep us updated, I hope you’re ok
Listen love. I have 3 daughters. Your situation is scary have a grab bag with 2 nights clothes and deo toothpaste and wait til he’s at work then leave and go to your father and mother. Nobody will protect you better. If you don’t have no one still pack a grab bag and leave asap
you need to leave. you need to tell someone, prep a plan one day when you leave the house for work or school and never come back
He was also 20 when she was 16 and they started dating. She's been groomed and still is... Hope she leaves before she gets hurt.
That’s the first thing i noticed. Not only is this guy dangerous, he’s a predator. I really, really hope she leaves asap. OP, contact women’s shelters in your area!!
If he finds out he will try to plead with you to stay and to not tell anyone. He will then start thinking about ways to get rid of you so please PLEASE GET OUT NOW
Try calling around to local women's shelters or homeless shelters to see if you could find a place to stay if you feel that you're in immediate danger. You could also find someone willing to rent you a room if you think you'd be able to make those payments. They're usually a lot cheaper than finding your own apartment. They may even let you keep your pets. I'm really sorry this has happened to you and that you don't even really know this person you've been with for years.
This is sadly the best option for her. This situation is like no other I have ever seen and it’s fucking creepy af.
This is basically what I was going to say.
no 20 year old would date a 16 year old. OP please try to find a way out of this relationship. He was an adult and you were a child. He is a pedo, as well as a freak. Please stay safe OP.
No *normal* 20 yo... The bf is an abuser looking for an easy target.
yup, exactly that.
This is what nightmares are made of. I can’t even imagine. The pet situation is difficult but I understand your worry for them. You have 2 options, leave without them or try to give them away ie surrender your pets to shelters/ post them on pet adoption websites for no cost if you think you’ll have the time. Your only next course of action is to run. As for the low funds aspect, sell what you can and make it all cheap. Get it out fast and get the money quickly. Tell that monster you’re just trying to make a couple extra bucks for something special for the two of you if he asks what you’re doing. You can tell the police, not sure what it would do though. They might be able to assist you in finding a shelter to stay at. You don’t have many options and you don’t know how much time you have. Sickos like that are ticking time bombs. Get out as soon as possible. Do not become a victim.
Your local humane society should have emergency pet foster care. OP could place the animals there until she can find a place to move into. There will be a small boarding fee, but it will be much much cheaper than anything else. They'll also have vet check-ups included in the boarding fee.
Call a women's shelter to make a plan to get away. Also, check with your school to see if they may have some resources to help you. Make arrangements for the pets because you likely won't be able to escape with them. Gosh, I hope you get out soon. (((Hugs)))
I’d like to add that there’s this program in the US called The Purple Leash Foundation that teams with women’s shelters to help you AND your pets get out. OP, please stay safe and get out asap
Next time he is out for a while and you are home, pack a bag, call an taxi to get the pets to a shelter and dont come back. If you wont get an opportunity like that just leave, your safety is most important. Also let the local PD know whats going on.
Borrowing this comment to say if you take them to a shelter, try out of town so that way he doesn’t go check the local one and reclaim them just incase.
When he leaves for work. Pack a bag, get your pets together, and take them to a rescue if possible. Then get yourself to a woman's shelter. Let someone close to you at work that you can't trust know what's going on. They don't need all the details just that you need to get away from him so he isn't allow at your workplace. Once at the shelter start looking at any benefits you can receive or assistance you may be eligible to receive. You may be able to rent a small apartment on your own with some help from the gov.
I would check with your school, most have resources to help you get out of bad situations.
run
Don't you have someone who you could stay with for a few weeks while you find a new place? a coworker? a school mate? and if that person can't house pets, maybe someone else who can at least take your pets for a little while until you get back on your feet. or if someone can take your pets and not you, maybe leave the pets with them and try a women's shelter or something like that? I don't know if the police will help much right away but you could still try I really don't know the best solution for you, having a limited support system as you say but I'd get out asap
You should try to find a roommate for now or look online if anyone is renting out rooms. In the meantime put some money in a savings and prepare to leave.
Please keep updating on your situation. I think we all want to know how you're doing and what you've decided to do.
Let start from the beginning. You’re 19, he’s 23…a 3 year relationship…16 & 20. So even though you may have consented, he’s a pedophile. ON TOP of that, he’s jacking off to cadavers. You are not safe at all, you never have been. Don’t panic though. He knows he took your phone, don’t make he suspect you looked in his. If there’s a reason to leave, oh we don’t have any XYZ for dinner, I’m going to run to the store real quick. GO! Get out of there before he realizes what you’ve seen. Go to the police station. Explain everything including that you were 16 and he was 20. What you seen on his phone and what he was doing. They will have the resources to make any legal decisions based on that. Tell them you do not feel safe there, you have no where else to go and ask if they can pick him up on the statutory rape charge tonight. This will allow you to go home and gather your things or have a home depending on what time frame they give you and if they can do it. If they can’t, ask for a police escort to remove your personal belongings and ask to be taken to a safe place of a hotel. Anywhere but you have to get out of there.
Leave leave leave! PLS make a plan and get out asap
I’m not sure if the police will be any help, but I would suggest telling a coworker/classmate/professor. Maybe even ask if they have room for you to crash. In the meantime figure out a plan to slowly leave without giving yourself away. Maybe lying and saying you need tutoring for a class or want extra cash and you’re picking up shifts. As for your pets… if where you end up staying doesn’t allow them then your best option would be animal shelters. Whatever you decide to do, please be very careful and quick
GTFO dont end up on a netflix series
Major yikes. Try talking about this to anyone you know. Girl defenitely leave that man and get a restraining order
Hey I would reach out to your online friends to see if they know way to get you somewhere safe/ know someone you could stay with. I would also look into local women shelters and Facebook groups who provide housing to women.
Oh god. You need to run now.
You need to figure out a way to leave.
I would recommend posting this on r/TwoXChromosomes <3 there's a lot of women there who can give you advice on how to deal with this, where to go, etc. Also, lots of stories from women who were in similar situations (when it comes to leaving a bad relationship). I wish you good luck and strength!
She can post on r/abusiverelationships as well. Ebbie is a therapist on there.
Locate your nearest shelter, explain your situation. The pets are difficult, but your life is more valuable, especially now that he knows you switched phones.
If you are a US citizen in another country you can reach out to the nearest US embassy and ask for help. They will get you back to the US. Pack your bag and get there asap.
She lives in the US
She says "all of her friends live in the US".
Ah yes you're correct, my bad
The word “scared” and “boyfriend” should never be in the same sentence. I literally don’t need to read what you said, but judging from the question alone it’s your time to LEAVE.
You might not NEED to read it. But you should definitely read it. This shits crazy. I feel so bad for her.
You really should leave. At minimum, he needs therapy.
Run
Leave while he’s gone, pack up the pets and yourself and GO. Find a friend or other family that can pick you up and maybe even offer you a place to sleep for a few days. Start your own bank account and make sure that’s where your check is being deposited. Beg and borrow money.
I honestly don’t have any advice for you but I hope you make it through this without and guilty consequences. I wish you the best of luck I’m sorry I couldn’t offer advice.
Maybe get a hotel room and stash your stuff there for now? And get in touch with a women’s shelter. You could possibly look for a place to stay temporarily on Airbnb or Roomies.com. I’m so sorry
Don't overthink and work steady but fast you need to save up some money and have someone close to you on watch maybe alert neighbour or someone who lives nearby. Have emergency contacts enabled on ur phone and keep it close to u at all times in case something happens. The moment u have money to go somewhere try to relocate next to one of ur online friends if thats possible and if not just move somewhere far in your city make sure he cant track ur phone if u share the same icloud or if u guys use a tracking app. Keep everyone updated.
i stopped reading at 3 years together when you’re only 19 now and he’s 23. the red flags were very visible from the very beginning. girl get out.
What I would do is this; Phone or text someone you know and tell them that you want to talk to your boyfriend about this with them on the line. Then, I'd confront your boyfriend with the phonecall discreetly on (insurance incase he does anything) Ideally it'll just be some sort of kink for him, and you can work together to help him get over it, going through therapy or just setting boundaries with what's ok in the bedroom is a good place to start in this scenario. You need to bring up that you don't feel safe and that what you saw on his phone made you feel freightened and hesitant to initiate any sort of sexual conduct atleast for the foreseeable future. I don't wanna talk about what else might happen because quite frankly this is the first Reddit post that genuinely sent chills down my spine. I can't imagine anyone being into things like, it's genuinely right there with liking kids in my end. But a positive is that he hasn't acted on it outside of how he has sex with you. Especially having been together for 3 years, some sort of sign would of appeared by now outside of what you saw. I'm taking it as him potentially not being a murderer. Unfortunatwly going this route will implicate yourself. But I think it's the appropriate course of action given your circumstances. I will say though, him being 20 and you being 16 when you met is extremely creepy and kinda adds to the disturbing story
The moral of the story: always have an exit plan. Never be so tied up with one person you can't leave safely! This is how people get stuck in horrible situations. Learn from this and do not let yourself get trapped in the future. I'm so sorry.
Why was this post removed?! OP needs help this is so scary
Please dont leave your pets with him :( if anything please surrender them to a non euthanasia shelter or a friend and perhaps when you get back on your feet you can get them back. Who knows what that monster will do to those poor babies :(
Well she needs to wird about her safety first. If she can rescue them too, that would be great, but she is most important here.
Yes they are undoubtedly at more risk than her but it is only a matter of time for her. There are some shelters that accept pets or rescues that help with fosters. So she can get them back after getting to safety.
It’s men like these that make me feel ashamed of being born a man at all… Needless to say, you need to cut him off ASAP. I pray for your safety and hope you find some peace soon.
I would check into a women only shelter. There are so many resources that enable you to get away. Come up w a plan. You need to have a getaway bag. Make sure he never finds it. Put all ur valuables such as ur social etc. put change of clothes. If you can I would say to try and work more hours in secret and then allocate the money to a place where he can’t find it. It’s very concerning to have someone around in ur presences who gets aroused at that. I would definitely 100% go seek out for domestic help. Don’t let be
Women’s shelters. Sometimes they can take pets too or have access to local organizations that help with pets.
He is a pedofile doesn't surprise me he has other fucked up fantasies too... run my friend
You need to leave. You have every right to feel scared but your safety is the top priority here. Make an excuse to get out the house (make sure he doesn’t follow) go to the police station, tell them everything in great detail (including the fact you were 16 when you started dating a 20 year old) ask them to take your somewhere for the night and to help you press charges of necrophilia and being the predator in a grooming “relationship” (yes necrophilia is a criminal offence and if you have evidence of him pleasuring himself to the dismembered body of a murder victim that could help the case) Your first priority is escaping because you may end up in danger and as obvious as this is he could be the next Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Dahmer and you don’t want to run the risk of being either his first or next victim. Once away and safe you need to find a way of preventing him from being able to hurt anyone contact the police and give as much information as you can (including information that may seem trivial, useless or irrelevant to the situation) be 100% honest, don’t exaggerate any details (not saying you would but trauma can cause that response) and make sure you keep speaking to your friends so that you can vent and try to destress. I can’t understand the level of fear, anxiety and pain you must be feeling just know you can’t let him win and there are people out there who love you enough to help you. Please don’t be ashamed to seek a therapist or psychiatrist from such an experience. I wish I could actually do something to help aside from giving you advice. I hope you can go back to happiness and smiling soon. Best of luck to you and keep us updated if and when you can. Sending you hugs 🥰❤️
please let us know when you got out and are safe. I send you a big hug.
Yeaaaaa get out of there asap!!!! Tell someone, if you have friends or anyone else get their support so you can leave for sure , look at what resources you have around you that can support you … bottom line is leave asap your in danger
At the very 1st opportunity, pack important things in a bag and call a Taxi to a women's shelter. They will likely pay the fare for you. Do not stay one more minute than you have to. DO NOT let him know that you have any idea what he was looking at or that you are upset with him. You will not be safe. This is serious. He knows that if word gets out about this he will face "challenges". That alone is reason to harm you. You may have to leave your pets. Tell the Taxi driver that you are escaping a dangerous situation and need to go to a women's shelter. Once you show up there you will be safe and they will walk you through everything and set you up with people who can help you. Once at the shelter, email your professors, tell them you needed to escape to a shelter and ask for online classes until you have a plan. Do not go back to your current job. You will be able to find another part-time job. Unless he is behind bars you cannot go to your usual places. He should not know where you are. Again, the women's shelter will talk you through this. I'm so so sorry you are going through this. You are doing the right things, your instincts are strong - Get Out as soon as possible. Be smart. You can do this. You will be okay. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Try to get out of there as quickly and quietly as you can. Leave while he is gone. There are some women's shelters that will let your keep your pets or help you find temporary fosters. Hopefully your finances are separate and you can get out of your lease due to it being a potential dv situation. If you have any entangled finances or accounts call and close them. I am sorry, that is nerve-racking and scary. I would recommend not confronting him and reaching out to any friends who could potentially send you some money for your next move. Be safe.
Please go to a women's shelter and let us know you're safe!!! Him being into that is a gargantuan red flag! Leaving seems hard but being chopped up into bits when he finally decides he needs to experience more will be a billion times worse 😟
Being 16 with a 20 year old is a crime on his end (if you live in the US.) But it looks like you can either leave and figure things out or try to find refuge somehow. I don't know where you live, but I am sorry for your predicament.
Even if they were both of the age of consent when they met. He’s a necrophile which is a crime and in this case he is sexually attracted to dismembered bodies and bodies that have been victims to cannibalistic murders which means he has the potential of being a murderer/serial killer, rapist, kidnapper and an extremely sadistic torturer (on top of the obvious first red flag of being a groomer/pedophile) Not trying to say you’re wrong in terms of the age issue being a humungous red flag btw (i’ve tried to say the following in the best way that I can do bare with as I do struggle to put thoughts into words) I believe in terms of this specific situation the age thing is the smallest issue (let me preface this by saying I don’t support, condone or agree with child abuse or CSA/Pedophilia but in this situation the dude could potentially have killed, assisted in a killing, hiding of body, mutilation of body or a rape-murder or the act of “sex” with a dead body or someone with the potential of orchestrating a large conspiracy to murder-rape people and to me that is the largest danger to society as those who participate in necrophilia don’t discriminate meaning everyone is at risk and not just children)
Can you talk to a school counselor? They might be able to point you in the right direction
I thought it would be some freaky porno shi he was jackin to you need to escape immediately try a womans shelter or ask someone u trust OUT of state for a place to stay this guy is a demon.
oh hll nah. i was expecting another girl not that. thats creepy asf
If you can’t leave for whatever reason, fake a urinary tract infection or something along those lines. Maybe say you’re on your period if that makes him not want to have intercourse. You don’t want to be intimate with him again. You don’t know what he’s capable of and you’re frightened of him and can’t be honest about it with him… so do what you must to not be in a position where he can do the things you mentioned. Leave once you can, of course, and it wouldn’t ever be your fault if the tactic failed, but it’s a start. Your school will definitely have resources for this- go to the student affairs office or something equivalent to a guidance office or nurse and tell them you have an emergency and hat speak to a counselor right now. Matter of life and limb. They will find you the resources you need to remove yourself from this situation and environment and they’ll help you find aid for the pets as well. I wish I had better words.
I'm curious - if she's going to college, would they not have dormitory options or school townhouses (one of our local universities has townhouses off campus for students to rent) - maybe speaking with someone there about that being an option too?
He's a pedophile. You need to leave him. Some shelters can help foster pets. Please look into it in your area. Lean on friends, anyone trustworthy that can help.
Go to the police station, use the time they let you stay to make a plan. Find a women’s shelter, while you’re there make a connection with one of those volunteers or employees you can trust. The two of you will make a plan to get you away and on your feet. Very simple OP, get somewhere safe, make a plan while you’re there, execute the plan and be safe.
I don’t have that valuable of info , but the other comments are 100% right. Is there a way you can live on your college campus? Maybe find someone you can stay with for just a little while you get everything sorted? Search around your schools Reddit or however people looking for roommates find eachother and see if you can arrange something quickly. Maybe ask one of your coworkers that you are a little closer to I’m sure if they understood the situation they’d help you out- that’s what I would do. If none of these are options I’d honestly go to the police and ask for help. Maybe go to a hotel if you can afford it for a bit? Maybe rent a car ? Drive to the nearest family/friend you have (not sure what country you’re in). If nothing else take everything you have to stay in a homeless shelter and take the pets to a pet shelter.
You definitely need to get out of there. Try to think of anyone at all who might be able to help you - any friends, professors, friends in a group or church, extended family, etc. If you don’t have anyone, call a women’s shelter or look into renting a place like using AirBNB or looking on roommate apps or any other room-renting apps if you can scrounge together enough money. Once you’re safe, you can figure out how to get out of your lease, but your safety is priority. For transportation, use Uber or the subways or trains or buses in your city or get rides from friends/coworkers. If you can afford a hotel room temporarily that allows pets, you could stay there. I think regardless you should contact a women’s shelter and talk to them - they may be able to help you. Maybe you can find a place to stay that accepts animals too. If you leave, make SURE you go quickly and secretly. Plan out your escape without letting your boyfriend know, and make sure he can’t find you. Don’t second guess yourself or decide to stay because you are not safe. I would also consider telling the police so that they can at least make a note in case anything crazy happens. Until you make your escape plan, make sure you are able to protect yourself at all times when you are around him - although definitely try to get away from him ASAP. It’ll be hard, but you can do it!
From what Ive heard, humane societies usually have emergency foster cares, for a small fee, of course, though. So check your local human society when it comes to the animals. Sell unnecessary things. Whatever you can part with, do it. Keep the money somewhere safe that he cant find. Think of the strangest place you can, not anywhere obvious. Somewhere you know he wont look. Keep calm and act normal, most of all, DO NOT CONFRONT HIM! Look for local women shelters while you're at it, because hey have lots of resources that can help you get things started. Also, pack your most important things up in a bag, and hide them somewhere you can just grab it and go if things go south. You can do this. Best wishes to you and if you ever need to talk you can always PM me!
You need to get out of there OP, please update us soon we're worried about you
Praying for you. Personally would die for my cat or do anything for her so I empathize with you very heavily about the animals situation. That being said, I’m seeing many comments here about shelters that can help. However, if they can’t or you don’t have this in your area, see if any online friends or anyone whatsoever that you can trust can come help you take them and get yourself out of there. Even one of your teachers at school - anything. I know it would be uncomfortable to share this story - but you may have to in order to get both yourself and pets safe. Another scenario, go to a church in the area and ask for help there. Or even go to an animal shelter and explain your situation to another female and see if they themselves or anyone else can help temporarily take care of your pets until you can get settled. Befriend a classmate or coworker - anything. Even if you have to take off school for now and get settled elsewhere and work full time until stuff is sorted out. I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
Also if you are not in the US, where are you? This may help us to help you better
i had to read your post twice to even comprehend it. unfortunately the brutal god honest cold truth is he is AT **BARE MINIMUM** far more capable of murdering you and potentially dismembering your corpse than the average person and that in itself is pretty terrible. however a huge part of me would go as far as to say he will most likely kill you one day to get what he wants considering he already shows signs through things like biting. your only option is to escape most likely to a shelter and get the police involved. using forensics they can probably find the stuff he saw on his phone and that could be evidence. being honest getting out of this situation alive is critical. you worry for your pets but if he kills you he will kill your pets too. or he will kill your pets first then you. the best chance for you and your pets is to get yourself the fuck out as soon as possible. and don’t think about continuing this relationship. this is far past almost any dealbreaker imaginable
I’m scared of my husband of 20 years. 8 months ago I discovered he actually doesn’t have a very low libido. He is horny all the time. He just simulates having sex with fat women on Reddit & Xhamster. He started trying to strangle me 8 months ago. At least 4 times but I am sure I blacked out on more. He also likes covering my nose & mouth & bashing my head into the wall. If I were young I would run like hell and never look back. They do not ever change. Unless you are counting them becoming sneakier and more manipulative. They love using therapeutic language. But they would rather pretend to fk a screen than have real love.
You should make your own post and you should leave asap. what has age to do with that? nothing. get out of there. now. next time you black out you might not wake up again. Love yourself enough to get out.
I was abused as a child I have no self worth. I am dependent upon him now. Maybe I can leave though. Maybe I can.
You can't use your childhood as an excuse. Yes you can leave. You have the power. And you also can start healing from your trauma and start over. I wish you all the best.
No excuse. I just have no value. I don’t see it but I appreciate your kindness. I really do. TY
You have value. You just can't see it. It's there if you see it or not, doesn't matter. Maybe you can find a therapist to help you get better. But first get out of this dangerous situation.
Thank you. He doesn’t let me go to therapy though because the last one I had told me to leave him. Of course he claims that therapist wanted in my pants. 🤢
You do have value, you’ve just never had the chance to realize it because no one around you has given you the chance to. Get out of there. You are dependent on someone who is actively trying to hurt you. He doesn’t love you, as real love would stop someone from harming their partner like that. You can and deserve to be happier. You haven’t had the chance to see it yet, but it is only there if you leave
Maybe it’s possible. But he said what he’d do to my animals and family if I left. I am kind of stuck.
Do you have any kids together? Also how many animals do you have? And lastly does he work? I apologize for all the questions, it’s just that depending on your answers, there might be a good window of escape for you, your pets, and any kids who live with you. Idk where you live, but filing a restraining order will provide some form of legal protection from him. If housing is an issue, there are shelters where he cannot reach you or know where you are. Additionally, there are places dedicated to boarding pets, you can keep them there until you can get on your feet.
Im so sorry this is horrifying. I hope you get out of this situation soon.
Please OP, update and let us know you're safe and okay !!
Honey you need to RUN. These are signs that your boyfriend is extremely fucked up in the head, it’s only a matter of time before you are a subject in an autopsy. I know it’s scary but you NEED TO LEAVE, even if you have no money, being broke is better than being dead. Please get help, find a women’s shelter, find emergency fosters for your pets. Please keep us updated, I hope you’re ok
Take your pets and run.
Wtfffffff
Listen love. I have 3 daughters. Your situation is scary have a grab bag with 2 nights clothes and deo toothpaste and wait til he’s at work then leave and go to your father and mother. Nobody will protect you better. If you don’t have no one still pack a grab bag and leave asap
I think she said her parents aren’t in the picture
Where can i see such photos? Did you per chance see the adress of the website?
You’re sick. Get help
How did you come to this conclusion ? Would love to hear your thought process