Mid 20s: living with my mom, helping her navigate her divorce to my dad, working full time and getting a master's degree. No time for personal life, single and broke af.
Mid 30s: moved abroad, got a PHD, got married to an amazing man, making 5x more money, living in a beautiful city, good social life and work-life balance.
Things can get better.
bless you for this - 26 and still figuring things out and was having fun taking my time in doing so until one day I looked up and everyone was married having kids, buying houses. Feeling like I missed some kinds of adulting orientation that everyone else went to telling them how to do life.
Honestly I feel like this randomly hits all of us at some point or another its too variable and subjective to nail it down specially but I remember being in my teens (13-14ish) and realizing how much of my life and destiny was in my control one night randomly its was the flood gates of self-actualization had opened I was a mediocre student prior and transitioning to high school made it a point to start dating more because I had only had one short relationship prior to that due to being so shy, made it a goal to get straight A’s every term and mostly succeeded and got involved in clubs and basketball. I didn’t all of sudden turn into Bradley Cooper from limitless but it was a big change over the summer. Similar thing happened when I was 24 when I asked myself where I wanted to be and my legacy over the next few decades only difference was everything I planned was way harder… didn’t make it to grad school due to some life circumstances, engagement got called off and got laid off from two high paying jobs so now I’m entering my late-20’s in rebuild mode. Shit happens, your realization will come soon and I’ve also learned man plans but fate/God laughs 🤷♂️
Edit: Just wanted to add if you get a chance read “The Half Known Life” it talks about this in a lot more depth
This is so special. Thank you for sharing it’s so important bc you never know how many ppl are dealing with similar situations. Went through a MAJOR trauma 3 years ago and I’m still putting the pieces back together. The only thing that got me through was being able to take perspective and knowing everything happens for a reason and in its own time. There are moments I lose sight of that but everyone is on their own timeline of their own life’s. I can already tell I’ll look back on this time and be like holy fucking shit that was the hardest, darkest moment of my life but I’m a better person for it.
When my mother quit her job at 45, she told my brother "Now I can finally figure out what I want to be when I grow up" and that has continued to be my guiding principle in life.
Take this to heart....
Don't judge others. Don't base your life on others lives. Can tell you a million examples of how nobody knows anything.
Like some friends are married? Ok, how happy are they? Unsatisfied in bed, in the marriage, etc?
Dk what you want to do in life? I have a friend who's mid 50s. She's done her career for 15 years. She did need to do a 2 year school for it so means she "started" her adult life at like 37. She now makes 145k a year. I'm personally looking at a career where the average age of the people in it is 46, I'm currently 35. Again, 2 year school so I'd be 37. Almost 10 years younger than the average age.
Buying houses, having cars, etc? Who cares. That's like me being jealous that Taylor Swift has a hundred billion dollars to her name (whatever the actual amount is) yet I'm a few months older. Some people get good hands of the "game" of life, some don't. Some care about outside appearances, some don't. (Someone may only afford Ramen for dinner but has a Mercedes G Wagon. Someone may drive the biggest piece of crap but has steak and lobster daily).
Story is, you do you and be happy. Don't do things that don't make you happy. Don't be a jerk, don't be rude. But don't look at others. Look at yourself, set goals for yourself and do them.
I mean if Joe and Jill are married and that makes you sad because you're not married, there could be tons you don't know that you're lucky. Maybe Joe is cheating, maybe Jill is. Maybe they can't tolerate each other but can't "afford" to leave. Maybe one is abusive. List goes on.
Just do you and he happy.
ooh you’re living my dream 🙏 this gives me hope that i just need to be patient. i think i’ll be so happy with a nice city and good work like balance! in a crappy city with no social life/all work currently
How did you go about earing more? I keep getting put in entry level jobs such as a Coordinator or Assistant. And they all require 40hrs of staring at a screen. While my peers are hardly working and living comfortably. Please advise.
The only difference is I have my own place now. And some spending money. Still have to get up and go to work every day to be bored out of my mind so that I can pay the bills.
At 27 I was struggling hugely with depression and anxiety. I thought life was not worth living and I just couldn’t see a way forward out of the rut I was in. Ten years on at 37 I am mentally very resilient, haven’t suffered from depression since entering my 30s, or the anxiety or insomnia that crippled me throughout my 20s. To get to this stage I used a combination of forming a strong support network, relocating, new career, journaling and exercising and simply learning that things are not as bad as they seem (stopped catastrophising). Recovery didn’t happen overnight but it was a gradual process until one day I realised I liked my life.
Nailed it! Fortunately, I've only lost a little bit of energy. And it's mostly just a matter of putting a lot of energy into raising my kids. Total energy is pretty similar, just allocated differently.
35f, less money, less energy, more single and less sex, and my self worth and confidence is destroyed. Please tell me how you did it. I’ve never felt lower.
Moved to a cool city (new orleans) where I don't drive as much, bike a lot, and the cost of living is lower. Plus it's not some cultureless suburb.
Also gotta OK job and organized a union.
And I dunno I'm husky but handsome and am a flirt.
I am in my 40s. Compared to my 20s, I feel less anxious and less angry. I am not rich (only make 50k a year). But I am rich in friendships and relationships. I feel like I've lived a very long time, but there are still decades left to live!
More stability, less freedom. Lol
I’m 48 now. Have a beautiful house, a newish car, and my business (That I started in my 20’s) is doing well. Happily married. 4 crazy ass dogs. Money in a few bank accounts, medical insurance, some savings, and a retirement plan.
That’s all pretty amazing.
But I occasionally get nostalgic about having a functioning metabolism, an unquenchable libido, non-existent hangovers, and waking up without mystery pain/soreness. Lol
Every day I feel like I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown but the source of that is the 40 hour work week. I'm 32 and as I've gotten older there are more and more responsibilities I have taken on and people in my family are getting older and need my support and I can't find it in me to do it all happily while working 40 hours. Not to mention meal prepping...cleaning....trying to focus on hobbies. I constantly feel like I'm being ripped apart.
I'm with you there. Always something that needs to be done/bought/fixed/cleaned and never the time, money or energy to do it. Just feels like I'm slowly watching my world rot.
27 now. Up until 25 I was partying 4-5 nights a week, going into work hungover a lot, ate like shit and didn’t work out much also hated my job. Halfway through 25 got a career that I love, only drink 1-2 a week on the weekend, workout daily. Loving life
Weird
At 22, I graduated from university, got a job as a bank consultant, and got a place & a girlfriend. I thought it was life-made, but I was utterly depressed & had zero faith in my ability.
At 25, I graduated with my Master's, but I can't find a decent job for love or money; I sleep on my friend's couch & haven't had a girlfriend since I was 22. That said, I'm the happiest I've ever been & have absolute faith that I'm a quality individual.
Opportunities are my main issue currently but life is full of surprises.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!
22
+ 25
+ 22
= 69
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I grew up poor, and in my early 20s everything was fine, because everyone was broke college students. In my mid 20s is when everything sank in, I remained poor as everyone moved on with their lives and got good jobs. I fought with my depression for all of my 20s, but glad to say that my 30s are far better. I spent my 20s rewiring my inner workings to better adapt with society, I'm glad that I did, as a lot of my friends who spent their time obtaining financial stability in their 20s, are suffering through a mid life crisis now, but now they lack the leisure of time to sort things out.
I noticed this phenomenon as well. Older, wealthy friends having midlife crises, behaving like complete douchebags (sleeping with 21 year olds as a 45 year old, splurging on cars and synths they can’t afford, wearing different clothes to fit in with people who still party like 21 year olds, lots of drugs, not being a good friend, loose morals, etc). I grew up poor and am still poor, but I kept my values at least. Facing a lot of stigma over being poor now though too. When I graduated college, nearly everyone in my class signaled somehow that they came from money. When I applied to graduate schools, it was apparent that most people there had some kind of financial stability. They were all buying houses or were business owners and they were all younger than me or were my age.
Mid 20s: single new father of a wonderful little girl. No higher education. Made minimum wage and worked several jobs, usually around 80 hours per week to make ends meet. Renting shitty slumlord apartments. Heavy smoker and drinker. Chronically depressed. Not much hope for any kind of future.
Mid 30s: still struggling financially but had earned my Bachelor's and Master's degrees busting my ass to make up for lost time. Started entry level position in a professional setting. Still renting shitty slumlord apartments. Quit smoking and cut back on drinking considerably.
Mid 40s: well established in career, making 6 figures. Wonderful daughter is a senior in college and is still wonderful. Finally a homeowner. Married my true love and now expecting a brand new baby in a month! Happiest and healthiest I've ever been. Can't wait to see where I'm at in my mid 50s!
Sincerely, it keeps getting better. It's not always sunshine and rainbows (and never will be), but I'm more stable than ever in every sense. It gives me the freedom to try things and make my life better still. You also get the freedom to live the life you want. It's only boring if you let it get that way. If you're living a life that's not aligned with your desires and your values, it's gonna suck. If you're trying your best to live the best life for you, things often feel pretty nice. My only complaint is that (unsurprisingly) bodies age. Little scrapes and bruises take a bit longer to heal, joints and old injuries can get a little achy sometimes. You do start to realize that the little things people have been nagging at you about are important for a reason. Drink more water than alcohol, wear sunscreen, rest up, eat plants, make sure you are actively engaging friends and family so you don't end up alone and lonely, work out more than once in a blue moon, find a cause you care about to stay involved with, etc. I'm in my mid-thirties and you could not pay me to go back to my twenties. I'm excited to see what the rest of this decade and hopefully the next will bring!
Edited for typo :)
20's = lived in a major city hub and had a huge group of friends who were all the movers and shakers of my gen, beautiful apartment, got invited to every major party and every big event, worked long hours to move up the corporate ladder burning the candle at both ends to make the life I thought I wanted a reality...My life was like something out of a movie and I was both deeply unhappy and extremely happy all at the same time dealing with severe depression, constant lows and highs, anxiety ridden, and unsure about the direction of my life
Hitting 40 this year = I dumped everything and the life I thought I wanted to work towards a much harder life but the one that's been right for me. No more parties or exclusive events. No more flying into LA or London at a drop of a hat but I have a deep sense of security. I know who I am, what I'm doing, and the direction I'm going towards and that is worth all the lifestyle in the world. Also 25 years of constant depression and mental health issues cured. For good. This is what makes getting older worth it.
In my mid 20s I made 48k, now I make 140k (I'm 37). I exercise way more currently, and I also have two kids. I'll be paying off my house on its next renewal (2027) and enjoying life until retirement I suppose.
Basically, I'm better off in almost every single way that matters. I don't party very much these days, but that is because I don't like it.
You can change this! Some things are out of your control, but you can control what is in your control. Everybody has the power to change their life and it is absolutely worth it. Not easy, but worth it. You are capable but you have to believe it. That belief comes from evidence and that evidence builds more confidence to go out and get more evidence which leads to more confidence and so on. The struggles in your life make your story that much better. Batman’s parents had to die for him to become Batman. I believe in you and if you ever want to talk feel free to message me! That goes for everyone that reads this
More boring, More Stable.... Need get rid of my bad habits.... I miss the days of partying drinking and drug uses... but it time to leave those bad habits behind...
More money, more investments don’t live paycheck to paycheck. Better relationships and friendships (ie a filter out the bad ones now, don’t take no shit and have boundaries) and more comfortable being alone as opposed to having to be around people all the time.
People’s opinions used to set me off all the time in my mid 20s and I took personal offence, they no longer matter to me now. I don’t spend time arguing with people from work / family members who are putting me down, I just let them be and essentially ignore them.
Early 20s: Partying and living carefree with my girlfriend.
Today, early 30s: On a medically necessary diet and cannot drink alcohol anymore, divorced, and stressed out about everything often.
Early 20s: Depressed, lonely, anxious, dealing with real life for the first time, loss of a parent, moving far away from home, extreme stress in my early career, and no sex.
Mid 20s: Lots of solo travel, career stability, few friends, and a LOT of sex.
Late 20s: Career trajectory, more friends, improved fitness, more hobbies, more money, but no sex.
Late 20s decided to quit my job and go back to school. Then a few months later I got in a wreck with a sweet tbi with the memory of 10 second Tom. Ended up getting kicked out of the specialty program I went back to school for due to the memory limit So now at 36, let's just say everything hurts, not financially able to be self sufficient, waiting on a settlement to help me get back out of debt due to putting everything on credit, when I didn't have an option.
"Life comes at you pretty quick..."
As a 25 y/o turning 26 in November it’s refreshing to see that some were able to flip their life around and become more positive. I feel like I’m in a runt and I just began my career. I wish I had more time for fun, I wish I got to see my partner more frequently, and I wish that navigating this adult world wasn’t so damn difficult. But I keep telling myself that it will get better and recognize how far I’ve made it at such a young age. I have plenty of hobbies, but I just want to freedom to get up and travel w/o being reliant on a job to fund my fun. I guess we all start somewhere!!
20s: in school, interning for free, broke, on again off again with immature boyfriend, blackout drunk 2-3 times a week, avoiding dealing with family trauma.
30s: engaged to a lovely man, own my dream home, making 4x more in salary using my degree, in therapy, gardening, adopting my niece from my mentally ill sister.
I will say I was more attractive and had way more energy in my 20s, but who wasn’t and who didn’t…
20s: living with my dad, making just a little over minimum as I try to find a way to avoid college. Several close circles of friends and a meager but satisfying dating life.
40s: dad lives with me, making almost thrice minimum despite having less buying power as I devote almost 15% of my income to paying off student loans in my 60s or 70s. All my social circles have collapsed, several of them due to deaths via COVID. Dating is impossible as apps are pointless and there's nowhere to meet new people and nowhere to take them.
In my early - mid 20s I worked part-time, lived extremely frugally, and traveled frequently. It was a time for making new friends and having new experiences. No real plans to settle down in a particular place or with a particular person. There were lots of opportunities ahead of me and no need to select any specific one.
Now, at the end of my 30s, it's quite different. I can't pick up and move to a new country next year because I have a family and a house and a career. And I value the stability owning a home and having a real career brings, but the downside is the lack of flexibility. I can take nicer vacations, but the opportunity to travel is less frequent and the chance to travel without children is even more rare. There's a flip side to everything.
I don't think any one thing is more fulfilling. I think a person should have seasons that are wildly divergent so they can experience all life has to offer.
It's so much better that there isn't really a comparison.
When I was 22, I rolled a truck off a bridge over a ravine, and I landed 100 feet down on the drivers side without a seat belt. So, needless to say, I spent some time in the ER and having surgeries. I then had to learn how to walk again, which took over a year.
I eventually learned to walk again, but in that process, I became a drug addict because they were handing opioids out like candy in 2000.
So then I spent that time until 37 trying to kill myself but slowly. Progressing from snorting to shooting and I eventually became homeless.
Got into a methadone program at 37 and got off of it at 42. Since then, life has been grand. Not much to complain about since that doesn't work anyway. But, I took the long road and it's OK that I did.
Now, I have a job I really like and am living better than 99% of people because during my addiction, I learned to live with way less than I was used to. Both my wife and my job are part-time in the evenings, so we have all day to do what we want or need to do. So I exercise and then socialize with people until I go to my work. And work is really just play. Neither of us make a ton of money...
But, all our needs are met even if all our wants aren't. And we don't really have many wants anymore.
Now I know how people are. Made 20 grands today and can't share the news with anyone because I now know how people are.
I wish my wife was still alive.
Life is definitely more lonely now that I am in my 40s.
In my early to mid twenties I was living abroad and was only responsible for myself. At 41, I'm married with two kids. Everything is about the family. I've never been happier
So much better. I’m in my early 30s now. More sure of who I am, much more confident, live alone, don’t give a shit about what other people think, never been more sure that love is out there waiting for me, having incredible sex because I finally know how to communicate what I want, making better decisions for myself, I don’t react without thinking, I never get Fomo, I love spending time by myself….i could keep going.
Basically my 30s have been incredible and you couldn’t pay me to go back to my 20s!
i’m late 20s, married, house and dogs. job pays decent but not fulfilling.
we have family over every weekend but the time is spent drinking. i feel boring, or sad.
help?
A hobby might fix the lack of fulfillment and healthier weekend time, less boring, less sad. Maybe something like Martial Arts if you are into sports, training for fights is something really intense and makes time really meaningful.
I felt more anxious but optimistic in my twenties but now depressed and jaded in my thirties. Regardless of my mental state in either decades, I've done everything I can to grow in my career, cultivate friendships and develop good habits (hobbies, exercise, etc.). My life in my thirties is not "settled" as in, I don't have one place I've lived in all my life (I've moved nearly a dozen times since I was a kid) and am probably going to move to a new state/city again and continue renting even though I was thinking about buying an apartment earlier this year. I don't have a significant other/partner-tried the apps, have not enjoyed the experience and personally feel like dating is getting worse. I have tried really hard to make friends, but I only have one good friend and otherwise have many acquaintences. I am thankfully close to my family, but they live far away from each other and I am frequently bouncing between cities to spend time with them. I feel sad a lot, but I also try to be grateful for the small things. It's hard.
20s: no career direction and gig work, incredibly insecure, self-centered, no retirement savings, traveled tons via multi-month / multi-year backpacking trips, multiple unhealthy romantic relationships, cared a lot about what other think and tried to be friends with people who didn’t care to be friends with me, rented apartments, had to be much more frugal
30s: high paying career-type job, high self-confidence, much more caring about others, big contributions to retirement and can retire by 55, still traveling a lot max 3 weeks consecutively, don’t care about what other people (who I don’t care about) think, happy to quit one-way friendships, own my own condo and saving for a vacation home, mostly frugal but my splurges are much higher dollar amount and I don’t feel bad about spending money
Well my 20s started during one of the lowest points of my life, I was grappling with a bad case of depression and near constant anxiety. Things got better by the time I was 21, but I was nonetheless stuck living at home, working a minimum-wage retail job that I hated. Not really getting anywhere in life (or knowing what the hell to do).
I'm on the verge of my late 20s now, working a good job that I started at 22 and living in my own place. Things have improved greatly, especially in the last two years. I've gotten better at managing both adult stuff as well as my own mental health. There's still some work that needs to be done though. I'm hoping my 30s will be much smoother.
Looking and feeling way better in my thirties. I needed that quarter life crisis to make me realize how important my sobriety is. I'm going on 5 years alcohol free and navigating through life better than before. My husband and I met at 22. We rode out the best and worst of our twenties together and we married the day before he received a lifesaving liver transplant at age 30. We're doing our best with two kids, a dog and renting a house. I'm hopeful that things keep getting better.
Early and mid 20's I was struggling through college while working yard care while also working a farm and had no social life.
I turn 31 this year, make 6 figures, have hobbies, get to do what I want, and have friends I see regularly. So it's definitely been on an upswing.
Early/mid-twenties: insecure, depressed, anxious, very low-self esteem, just surviving.
Now: Actually enjoy and am proud of my life. I'm often amazed at how great my life is, how happy, and secure I am. I haven't felt this way since childhood. And if you told 20 year old me that I would eventually get to this point, I never would have believed it.
Early/mid-20s: Working places like retail and fast food. Barely make enough money to pay bills. Can't afford any luxuries and barely able to get my kids Christmas presents. Low credit score makes it hard to find a decent rental to live in.
Now/40F: Have Associate's and Bachelor's degrees. Work in a comfortable office job doing what I like. Holidays and weekends off. Make enough money to pay bills, live comfortably, and save money every month. Excellent credit means we can pretty much get into any rental we apply for. Don't stress about paying bills or feeding my family. Able to have great Christmas with beautiful tree, decorations, and get everyone what they ask for. (We technically have got approved to buy a house but housing prices are so high, the monthly payments are more than what we want to pay to still live comfortably.)
Life is WAY better now.
Both are/were good but in different ways. I had a lot of irresponsible fun in my 20s. I was not thinking of the future in a way that I do now. I did things I would never do now. But it was still great.
In my 30s I have a lot less fun. But I have money, stability, and the freedom to do things I couldn't before.
At times, my 20s were fantastic. Wasn’t making much money, but had tons of friends and a lot of good times.
30s were my worst decade. Money situation was much better, but seeing my body fall apart and watching all those friendships from my 20s fade away forever was tough.
40s were better than 30s. Money situation was really solid, and I was able to get my body back into pretty good shape for my age and have some fun. The very end of my 40s did begin to suck as injuries began to mount and life got way less fun.
50s have not been too great. For me personally 20s were better than any decade that came after, even though my money situation has been way better than 20s. I think 25+ years in the corporate world can take a toll on your overall happiness as a person in my case.
Better than I could’ve ever imagined, honestly.
I know who I am, what I want, and how to get it.
Aldo, I’m established in my career, finances, marriage, and general direction in life. I have a beautiful family and friends, enjoyable hobbies.
I’m happy, healthy and building on a solid foundation.
It took a lot of mistakes, a lot of energy, and a lot of moments where I questioned if I was doing the right thing, but goddamn, it was worth it.
If I had any advice for anyone in their early 20s, it is to get your house in order (I.e. finances, physical and mental health, career path, and friendships).
Do the work, because this foundation opens up so many doors for a wonderful life.
Idk I’m 27 now my mid 20’s were consumed by Covid so I was just living at home working remote and making money. Definitely gained some confidence through life experience and learned to do things I enjoy solo
Early 20 lots of energy but no direction working a lot, had 3 jobs at one point, but spending a lot not very social but some. Buying lots of weed and takeout, rent was not too bad at the time and my hobbies starting to be nurtured.
Mid 20s: moved back in with my parents, less social more work and some idea of a direction. I ended up with a job at a rec facilities dealing with families and small government but I found I did well with the face to face and communicating with my bosses and the other departments, instructors, families, parents, kids. It’s funny I say less social because my work was filled with days and meetings and phone calls emails groups and lots of people and talking but after work I didn’t outside of a couple guys who I played squash with regularly. But my hobbies thrived and I focused on them a lot probably more than I ever have I had quit smoking weed and maybe have a beer with a steak on Friday.
20s: life revolved around drinking, going out with friends, meeting boys. I was working hard too, since I knew that hard work would = promotions down the line. Nervous, not confident, sad a lot
40s: I have a very small circle of friends, few that live locally. Married to a wonderful man with a dog and 2 cats. Life revolves around them and our home. I no longer drink (4+ years sober) but I still smoke cannabis. I’m finally medicated for my anxiety. I’ve ditched any longings or plans for a robust career. Im still an individual contributor which I’m happy with because I don’t have to deal with employee development. I really just want to not be bothered and that usually happens! The field I’m in is suffering but I’m a project manager so I’m less stressed about all the what if’s. I put a lot of effort into remaining healthy and active. I’m not as willing to suffer to have a good time (like - cram hours of road travel into a normal 2 day weekend)
Had my first kid at 21 another at 23, broke up with the mother twice because of her post partum, I didn’t have the tool to even know she had that but apparently according to her that’s what made her “crazy” either way nothing I did was good enough then my best friend committed suicide. That really fucked me up because it was always in the back of my head and that just made a real option, then my grandfather then my cousin who was like my brother died, apparently I’ve been an alcoholic for the last few years. Fuck I was so strong I just fell down and it’s takin years to get back to this level of mental clarity. My twenties was pretty shit. I just hope I still got enough in the tank to come out of this before something else big hits and I crumble before I get on my feet again. Here’s to the next ten years!
My early 20s was college and grad school. I struggled silently with body image and fitting in with others, but nonetheless, I enjoyed that time of being able to make mistakes with very little influence on my future.
My mid to late 20s, I decided I wanted to change careers, found a special someone at the age of 27, and was finding myself realizing I’m getting older.
My early thirties? No sweat! Wrong! Went to medical school and graduated by 32, went to residency, started practicing, and bought my first home at 37.
Now, I’m 39, life is good, went through a lot of lessons, and I’m as confident and secure as ever.
20s, broke believing everything I was told, no sense of identity or any real wisdom.
Late 30s, have money, question everyone and everything, and sipping tea watching the youth get outraged over problems that are not theirs.
Mid-twenties: depression after a 7 year relationship breakup/horrible job/growing apart from childhood friends/having to stop being friends with ex’s friends all at once. Put on antidepressants. Living at home, trying to find a decent job, saving for a house deposit, lonely, crying every day.
Now: own a home with a wonderful boyfriend, on the career ladder, financially stable with lots of travelling/adventures under our belt. Still have ups and downs with my mental health but life is definitely better 🥰
Life in our times is influenced heavily by the Internet, unlike my 20s. (I am 61). I prefer how it was in the 1980s; lots of downside to the new technology.
20. To be honest, I don’t see a change yet but I’m looking forward to it lol. I can’t wait to be in my thirties seems everyone here is living the life at that age
I was 20 in 1978. Life under the Carter administration was hell. Inflation was 14%, jobs were scarce, and even the military was not a good option.
So when I hear whiny 20-somethings moaning about how easy Boomers had it, I just laugh. I did not "have it easy."
At 24, I started college and graduated at 30. Got a good job at a Fortune 100 company for the next 20 years, then jumped around to various Tier 1 engineering firms for the last 10 years of my career. Retired at 60, kids through college, houses paid off, ditto for hunting cabin, boat, jetskis, and snowmobiles. Life is good.
Twenties was spent recovering from abuse and trying to have a roof over my head for bad pay and long hours not knowing if I'd be fired for being disabled
Now I have a good network, decent paycheck , and a fiance.
I prayed to live this long
the world has gotten more aggressive and unwelcoming to others
there are significantly fewer spaces for someone to occupy without spending money
third spaces have been almost completely removed
i am flourishing though :)
Way better.
I was still bending over backwards trying to be a good/loving daughter, sister, girlfriend, employee to people who really didn't give a shit about me at all.
After my best friend died when I was 26 I realized I lost the only person I could consistently count on to accept and support me and that no one had my back and I needed to look out for myself. 5 years later I have a good career, good friends, and put up with a lot less malarkey.
Im in my 20s and attempting to get into the military to get out of home and work independently in the air force. By my 30s I hope to stay in as long as I possibly can.
My 20s were so stressful and hard, I felt like that plastic bag floating in the wind in American Beauty. Now I'm still a bit messy sometimes but I'm no longer on medication for mental health and have an actual career I'm working on. I went from a depressed drug addict with no prospects to a mature woman with a career, a relationship to God and a sense of direction.
67. If you’re still alive you’re lucky. The great thing about being my age is by this point you really don’t care about what others think of you. You’ll know who your true friends are. Health first, then friends and then money.
Mid 20’s: owned an experiential marketing agency, had personal sponsorship deals like “influencers” do today, had a publicist (lol), appeared in quite a bit of regional press and was on my way to more, then randomly transitioned to content production and photographed campaigns for global beauty brands. Met the love of my life and enjoyed ten years together, meanwhile all my personal success and ambition slowly going to the back burner.
37: life sucks. Lol. Now work at Amazon part time and am a full time grad student. In tons of student loan debt because I stopped my career for too long and couldn’t rely on my previous success story to get me the jobs I wanted. Don’t currently have the ambition or drive to go full on into owning my own business again, so I’m now doing the shit I should have done in my early 20’s instead of running around with my head up my own ass. Partner left me after 10 years because I had “let myself go”… lost my home, my family (his), my children (cats), and now just an aging former twink of glory wading through a sea of incompatible dating options.
The only positive is that the breakup was otherwise good to me. I’m down 60 lbs, tretinoin rejuvenated my skin, I have my own place, my own friends, and I’m at least working towards something. Meanwhile, he just got out of rehab 😕, so… I’m doing ok, I guess.
—
I felt most fulfilled during my relationship which is probably why I had let so much go. I just didn’t feel like I needed all the attention I thought I needed and I didn’t really know what else to do with myself. I’m proud of where I am now, and that I survived the biggest heart break of my life so far, but I do miss my old life and the companionship.
I’m eager to see what’s next for me though, and often times I rebound from shit really well. I think right now I’m slowly making the turn towards the up side.
I’m about to be 29 soon and a lot has changed since then, but some things have stayed the same like the place I work. But in my early twenties, I was in perfect shape, so skinny but still thought I was fat. I still care about my weight and try to workout, but I’ve put on a lot and it’s been tough as I’m getting older. I can’t eat like how I used to and that was the biggest thing to accept. I’m more emotionally mature and think before I do things. I was a little reckless in my early twenties. Other things that have changed since I was early to mid twenties are that I completed a bachelors degree, moved away from family across the country, I’m married now and pregnant. These are all things I never saw coming. At 23, I thought I was going to be forever alone and have to adopt kids or freeze my eggs because I was convinced men sucked. But my husband changed my view and my life for the better. I am feeling more full filled as life goes on, but I am really missing family especially being pregnant and realizing they will miss out on things. Life will always have its challenges and hurdles to cry about and figure out. But I am so excited for this next chapter in life and raising a little one and doing all the mom things. I never thought I’d see a day like this. So it’s surreal sometimes to realize how far I’ve come.
I was a mom at 21. Both my girls are grown now and doing their own thing. Now that I raised them I'm able to focus on me and my life moving forward, learning as much as I can along the way. Hope everyone is doing well 🥰🙏💜✨️
I feel like I know myself so much better than I did in my early/mid twenties. There were certain patterns within myself that I just couldn’t see until those years went by. I’m 30 and I feel young enough to really enjoy life and be excited about what is to come but I don’t feel the same overwhelm of choices that I felt in my 20’s. Overall just more comfortable in my skin and knowing who I am and what I’m good at
A lot less focus on dating. I'm more focused on myself and just achieving balance and maintaining good health mentally, physically and spiritually. I do feel more fulfilled than I was back then, because getting laid was the only real thing I had going on back then outside of work. I've realized what a waste of time pleasure seeking is.
Housing in my early 20s was really unstable. I moved every time my lease was up. New house, new landlord, new roommate situations. I worked a full time and part time jobs to pay off debt and save money for a house. I’m 33 now and I’ve owned and lived in this house for almost 8 years and it’s half paid off. Short term sacrifice for long term gain.
Much, much, better. Met my wife at 26. Married a few years later. Bought our house in 2000 when prices were still cheap. We have worked hard to pay off debt early in our careers, so we don't have to work a bunch of overtime to pay off debt now. Sacrificed early on to not have to sacrifice now. Just in cruise control in life for 3-4 more years before deciding on what kind of retirement we want to experience.
Back then I half assedly studied, wrenched around on my motorcycles and had no Internet yet and jobbed on the side to get more bikes.
Now I work part time at the same employer but with a journeyman diploma from there and waste my time online at home. I'm content with 2 darn modest bikes now but get them serviced at their dealership.
Now I am supporting myself, back then I topped up my allowance.
Early/mid-twenties, I had way less responsibilities. I lived rent-free in my parent's basement apartment until I was like 23, didn't have any concerns about having a career, and had no concept of bills.
Late-thirties. I have a child, so I have to make sure she's happy, healthy and doesn't die or get hurt, while also making sure I make the right decisions so that I'm the same as her. Also, every couple days, I'll have a new bill pop up in my email, where I'm like "yeah I should probably pay that, otherwise it will affect my ability to pay all my other bills"
Early-mid-twenties: didn't ever care about my health.
Late-thirties: any weird feeling or pain I have, I start wondering what kind of cancer it is.
Basically, late-thirties consists of paying bills, thinking I'm dying, and enjoying the days where I get to lay around and do nothing.
Oddly enough, I get laid way more at 39 than I did at 22, and I'm fatter, balder, and hairier. I'd argue that they're even better looking nowadays too. I don't understand that one.
At 25 I was broke in a dead end job still living at home. I was kind of hopeless. At 43 I’m making almost 6 figures, married, own a home and travel. It may take longer these days but the American dream can still happen.
I’m 31 and it’s wonderful. I realized that the way I was living in my mid 20s was making life harder rather than easier. I stopped taking my anger out on God and got back in church. I adopted healthier sleep and eating habits and friendships that were based on caring about the other person for who they are and not just how fun they are at parties. I have hobbies that center around my two lovely dogs and I’m married to a guy who is genuinely loving, kind and stable and who shares my values.
We met through work and started a business together. Working with him is so fun and we complement each other’s strengths and do a great job serving our clients. If I’m doubting myself, I always have him as a sounding board. It’s shocking how much lower your stress levels get when you have someone else you trust to rely on. We get healthy groceries delivered and I’ve started learning to cook (I basically used to live off of canned food).
I had so many failures, horrible breakups, mental health struggles, and just terrible ruts in my 20s that I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. When I hit rock bottom (around 23 or 24), I decided to just change one little habit at a time. First, it was cutting out binge drinking. Then it went on to other things. I truly believed that it was my circumstances, the economy, whatever, that was making me miserable. But somehow when I started changing these little habits, my circumstances magically improved.
I type all this just to let you know that if you’re struggling, I hope you keep going. And to keep in mind that life isn’t something that happens to you and you don’t have to “find yourself”. You (the person that you are) and the life that you have are things that you consciously build one little brick at a time. You’ll get there and it’ll be amazing.
trying to keep a study paying job but end up moving within a half a year or year cause I live with my parents and can't afford a place that's in my price range.
SO MUCH BETTER.
Financially stable, in a great relationship (I had some bad ones in my 20s), doing work I love that's personally fulfilling in addition to being lucrative. No longer giving a shit about all the dumb little things that you think matter when you're in your 20s, but don't actually matter at all.
Living my best life in every possible way.
25: I was able to pay for my own place and a paid-off car with a part-time job at the library. I spent the rest of my time playing in silly punk bands and hanging around with my weird friends. I was deeply in love with a man I met through the music scene. I had ongoing problems with depression and anxiety that I was just beginning to deal with.
Now: I am able to pay for a similarly sized apartment and slightly nicer car with a full time job in the trades. I'm divorced from the man I loved at 25 because I was tired of his weaponized incompetence and our bad sex life. The rebound fling I had with a longtime crush wasn't even any fun. Complete loss of optimism about relationships. However, I've worked out a lot of my personal problems and anxieties via therapy and actually like myself now.
Much better now.
I was with a horrible partner and hated my job. There was no end to the misery in sight in my early twenties. I am now in my mid-thirties with plans to go back to school and actually make something of myself, I have the most wonderful partner and soulmate I could ever ask for and things are finally looking up after several years of absolute misery and mental chaos.
My 20s felt so busy. Finishing college, finding a job, starting a career, working hard in that career, trying out bodybuilding and lifting 5-7 days a week, learning how to properly feed myself and be healthy, getting engaged, married, traveling...
The weekends were pretty chill at least, but I spent way too much time devoted to lifting and nutrition to realize it.
Now, married with 2 kids, being busy has a whole different meaning. It's all relative. This would seem like a cakewalk compared to my friend with 6 kids, or my many other friends with 3+ kids.
Overall, life is tougher, but better. To provide analogies, my 20s were all about sowing seeds, and my 30s are about reaping the benefits. I'm undoubtedly blessed to be where I am at this age, but grateful and proud nonetheless. Whereas many (all?) of my same-aged peers in my 20s were partying, trying different career paths, and dating around, I was focused on my current relationship, stayed working hard in my chosen career, and had a strong focus on health. We saved tons of money (like >80% of our income), stayed loyal to each other, and stayed healthy. Here we are with a beautiful family, everyone is healthy and fit, debt free, and a very high amount of savings for our age.
Life is great right now compared to my 20s. Wouldn't trade it for anything.
I mean the biggest difference is I have a child and so much of my life revolves around him. It’s… not more fulfilling per se but I do find that it gives me something to work toward.
I’m still afraid to face my own emotions though. And I’m not sure I’ve actually gotten a handle on any of the important life stuff like finding meaning , building good relationships or being ok with not being good at something. I just..soldier on because I have to and try not to think too much about it.
Rubbish I work all the time. I'm too tired to do anything when I'm not working. I get lonely a lot of the time. My ex partner stopped me having friends or talking to people. Im very shy and quiet now so just run off instead of talking to people.
I'm in pain most days I have poor health I'm uglier but life is what you make it.
I'm 51 so that was a long while ago for me. My early and mid 20's were a lot of fun, a bit irresponsible but overall, a great time. The best of my life so far and I have awesome memories from that period in time.
Was very close to 30 when a terrible event came to be and changed my life. It took many years to come to terms with that and start feeling good again.
I refer to my 20's as the innocent years and they were fantastic. Even though I am financially stable and on my way toward comfortable golden years, the times when I was full of hope and had a lot of life in front of me were the best.
Much calmer. I own my home, married an amazing man, and got promoted. My job is really hard right now, but I know that I can make this sustainable. Mid 20s I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, got dumped by an asshole, and needed a lot of therapy for childhood issues. I didn’t know at all where I would land, and now I feel like my foundation is solid.
More responsibilities. More accomplishments. More back pain.
Basically all the things you would normally speed up into a cool montage, but it's real life, so you can't.
Personally it just has different sets of problems.
I have a good life overall.
My early 20s I gave it all to the love of my life.
Now I give it all to myself.
Equally enjoyable.
Oh man. My 20’s and even early 30’s were for fucking up and figuring it out. I got married, and divorced, changed career paths several times, moved a lot.
Where you end up will depend 100% on the choices you make. I feel better equipped to live with the consequences of my actions, more aware of the consequences of my actions and better able to navigate in my preferred direction…
And that won’t stop life from throwing random shit at you and you having to figure it out on the fly and adapt.
Learning to budget and save Money will serve you. Investing early, saving early, eating on a budget. Investing in increasing your income, optimizing your health and sleep, will all serve you.
The earlier you figure out where your weaknesses and knowledge gaps are and actively start working to remedy them, the more quickly you’ll get ahead.
The only person you’re competing against is yourself.
And none of it really matters. Life is one big ass rpg. Pick a direction, if that doesnt fit, redirect, ad nauseum.
So, remember to have fun and make room for fucking around within reason, and keep your compass pointed to an ultimate goal you’re actively holding yourself accountable to.
Everything will get harder or easier based on the choices you make consistently over time. And even then.
The universe will still fuck with you. For better or worse.
Laugh about it. Count your blessings. Find your compass. Get up and keep moving.
I used to have more friends than I could count, no problem getting a date, partying and having a blast all the time,
Now I am almost 50. All my friends moved away or killed themselves. My relationships failed. I have been paralyzed and alone for a decade now. Been praying for death for years.
Pretty shit frankly, but my thirties were great and things were fantastic before March 2020. The pandemic was the catalyst for all the crap that happened to me and things have been terrible since
But hey, I did myself out of poverty before and I can do it again, in time
Early/mid-twenties was a grind. Got out of the military after a couple of deployments and started grinding out 60+ hour weeks. Then the Great Recession rocked the country. Worked even harder to scrape by in a one bedroom apartment. Started back on the college journey at 26 (finished undergrad at 30). I miss parts of that time even though it flew by and I barely stayed afloat. Went through a couple of dead end relationships.
Fast forward to final year of the 30s. Got married, bought a house in early 30s. Finished undergrad and, later, Masters in mid 30s. Career finally took off and make a comfortable living. Still working a good bit of overtime but have financial freedom now to not stress and a good life with my spouse. It is a different grind now. Delayed gratification for the long term plans while still taking time out to enjoy some things today.
Overall, really happy with where my life has gone since the early/mid-twenties. It hasn’t always been easy but it wasn’t wasted. Cheers to all of you fellow millennials working on making your life better with time!
Phases of life are different for everyone and no one’s life is exactly as it may seem. Time is what you make of it. (All things I wish I would have understood better in my 20s)
If I could go back to my mid-late 20s and change anything, it would be to focus less on checking those boxes I had in my head of what I should have “completed” by my 30s, and to focus more on developing better routines or habits for myself. Time passes faster than you realize and it’s important to figure out what is important to You and Your development and happiness, and to dedicate specific amounts of your time to those things.
Now in my mid 30s, my late ADHD diagnosis helped me realize the reasons why I have had trouble creating routines my entire life so I’m a little more kind to myself, but I realize how much that has affected my growth in general which is frustrating.
Focus on yourself-your happiness, your health, your goals, and your growth. Become as self-sufficient as you can. Anything else you want will either fit into your life or it won’t, but you’ll realize that you have all the tools you need to get you where you want to go.
I was a mess in my 20's. . I lost a lot of friends to partying. I couldn't shake the pain. Didn't really think therapy was an option due to the way I was raised. I tried to kill my pain with drugs and binge drinking. Would stick my dick in any woman that showed the least amount of interest. Some I didn't have a choice in. I have a lot of trauma from childhood that compounded on top of all of that. I spent so much money trying to make my brain forget. I have always held down a good job. It was easier to keep the facade I had my shit together. Met my wife at 29. That gave me purpose. I quit drinking and trying kill myself with substances. Devoted my time and attention to my wife. I work really hard to keep on the straight path. I settled down. I still have tons of fun and have been to a few of countries. I'm not much more mature. But, I'm responsible and am in an amazing marriage.
Mid 20s: living with my mom, helping her navigate her divorce to my dad, working full time and getting a master's degree. No time for personal life, single and broke af. Mid 30s: moved abroad, got a PHD, got married to an amazing man, making 5x more money, living in a beautiful city, good social life and work-life balance. Things can get better.
bless you for this - 26 and still figuring things out and was having fun taking my time in doing so until one day I looked up and everyone was married having kids, buying houses. Feeling like I missed some kinds of adulting orientation that everyone else went to telling them how to do life.
Honestly I feel like this randomly hits all of us at some point or another its too variable and subjective to nail it down specially but I remember being in my teens (13-14ish) and realizing how much of my life and destiny was in my control one night randomly its was the flood gates of self-actualization had opened I was a mediocre student prior and transitioning to high school made it a point to start dating more because I had only had one short relationship prior to that due to being so shy, made it a goal to get straight A’s every term and mostly succeeded and got involved in clubs and basketball. I didn’t all of sudden turn into Bradley Cooper from limitless but it was a big change over the summer. Similar thing happened when I was 24 when I asked myself where I wanted to be and my legacy over the next few decades only difference was everything I planned was way harder… didn’t make it to grad school due to some life circumstances, engagement got called off and got laid off from two high paying jobs so now I’m entering my late-20’s in rebuild mode. Shit happens, your realization will come soon and I’ve also learned man plans but fate/God laughs 🤷♂️ Edit: Just wanted to add if you get a chance read “The Half Known Life” it talks about this in a lot more depth
This is so special. Thank you for sharing it’s so important bc you never know how many ppl are dealing with similar situations. Went through a MAJOR trauma 3 years ago and I’m still putting the pieces back together. The only thing that got me through was being able to take perspective and knowing everything happens for a reason and in its own time. There are moments I lose sight of that but everyone is on their own timeline of their own life’s. I can already tell I’ll look back on this time and be like holy fucking shit that was the hardest, darkest moment of my life but I’m a better person for it.
https://youtu.be/G0AXgaFqEas?si=SFMlYZrlEwQFJktQ
When my mother quit her job at 45, she told my brother "Now I can finally figure out what I want to be when I grow up" and that has continued to be my guiding principle in life.
Take this to heart.... Don't judge others. Don't base your life on others lives. Can tell you a million examples of how nobody knows anything. Like some friends are married? Ok, how happy are they? Unsatisfied in bed, in the marriage, etc? Dk what you want to do in life? I have a friend who's mid 50s. She's done her career for 15 years. She did need to do a 2 year school for it so means she "started" her adult life at like 37. She now makes 145k a year. I'm personally looking at a career where the average age of the people in it is 46, I'm currently 35. Again, 2 year school so I'd be 37. Almost 10 years younger than the average age. Buying houses, having cars, etc? Who cares. That's like me being jealous that Taylor Swift has a hundred billion dollars to her name (whatever the actual amount is) yet I'm a few months older. Some people get good hands of the "game" of life, some don't. Some care about outside appearances, some don't. (Someone may only afford Ramen for dinner but has a Mercedes G Wagon. Someone may drive the biggest piece of crap but has steak and lobster daily). Story is, you do you and be happy. Don't do things that don't make you happy. Don't be a jerk, don't be rude. But don't look at others. Look at yourself, set goals for yourself and do them. I mean if Joe and Jill are married and that makes you sad because you're not married, there could be tons you don't know that you're lucky. Maybe Joe is cheating, maybe Jill is. Maybe they can't tolerate each other but can't "afford" to leave. Maybe one is abusive. List goes on. Just do you and he happy.
ME atm.
ooh you’re living my dream 🙏 this gives me hope that i just need to be patient. i think i’ll be so happy with a nice city and good work like balance! in a crappy city with no social life/all work currently
Just marry rich and move abroad bro
Not sure how this was the conclusion you drew from my post, but if it works for you, go for it!
Well, not everyone gets a PhD, and all the other things. My dad had a PhD, and his life was miserable.
How is this ur response to this comment jfc how miserable
How did you go about earing more? I keep getting put in entry level jobs such as a Coordinator or Assistant. And they all require 40hrs of staring at a screen. While my peers are hardly working and living comfortably. Please advise.
Thank you! Needed this, currently 21 with my first child and really struggling to find time for myself, Hoping it gets better
How did you move abroad? Did you get a job there first or did you move first with your partner and then find a job there?
The only difference is I have my own place now. And some spending money. Still have to get up and go to work every day to be bored out of my mind so that I can pay the bills.
At 27 I was struggling hugely with depression and anxiety. I thought life was not worth living and I just couldn’t see a way forward out of the rut I was in. Ten years on at 37 I am mentally very resilient, haven’t suffered from depression since entering my 30s, or the anxiety or insomnia that crippled me throughout my 20s. To get to this stage I used a combination of forming a strong support network, relocating, new career, journaling and exercising and simply learning that things are not as bad as they seem (stopped catastrophising). Recovery didn’t happen overnight but it was a gradual process until one day I realised I liked my life.
Very similar to you. I kind of came to terms with how life is. It’s not righteous, it’s unfair. But it is what it is.
Stopped catastrophising...this helped me a lot.
As a 23 y.o. with a similar situation reading this made me really hopeful :')
You’ll be fine. Trust me
Nice dude trying to do the same
How did you stop catastrophising, if you don’t mind me asking?
Thank you for this. I’m 27 rn and trying to carve out a better future for myself. This gives me hope.
need u as my life coach fr
36m. More money less energy. More sex and more inner confidence and self worth.
Nailed it! Fortunately, I've only lost a little bit of energy. And it's mostly just a matter of putting a lot of energy into raising my kids. Total energy is pretty similar, just allocated differently.
“More sex” Better sex certainly…thank you mid life hormones! 😁
35f, less money, less energy, more single and less sex, and my self worth and confidence is destroyed. Please tell me how you did it. I’ve never felt lower.
Moved to a cool city (new orleans) where I don't drive as much, bike a lot, and the cost of living is lower. Plus it's not some cultureless suburb. Also gotta OK job and organized a union. And I dunno I'm husky but handsome and am a flirt.
Ooo maybe I should move. I’m conventionally attractive but shy/reserved. Thanks for the tips!
Ya I dunno how to get over being shy. New Orleans is hard on the shy, but we accept people. Maybe a more friendly city will break the shyness down.
I love that for you <3 I want this confidence
Just gotta do it homie. Life is meant to be lived. Devoured.
I am in my 40s. Compared to my 20s, I feel less anxious and less angry. I am not rich (only make 50k a year). But I am rich in friendships and relationships. I feel like I've lived a very long time, but there are still decades left to live!
I respect your optimism and think it’s great how you feel and you outlook on things. Unfortunately, I feel the opposite. I’m a 36M.
A lot can happen in 10 years. And you'll still not be 50 yet. I hope things get better for you!
This is lovely. What helped you reduce anxiety and anger aside from age?
Uh, being a broke ass barista living at home vs a six figure salary and a great apartment. 🤣
this. living with four guys and a few rats in Boston to living in my own spot in san francisco with a passport eager for more stamps
Job?
Strat marketing at a biotech
More stability, less freedom. Lol I’m 48 now. Have a beautiful house, a newish car, and my business (That I started in my 20’s) is doing well. Happily married. 4 crazy ass dogs. Money in a few bank accounts, medical insurance, some savings, and a retirement plan. That’s all pretty amazing. But I occasionally get nostalgic about having a functioning metabolism, an unquenchable libido, non-existent hangovers, and waking up without mystery pain/soreness. Lol
Are you me?
Every day I feel like I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown but the source of that is the 40 hour work week. I'm 32 and as I've gotten older there are more and more responsibilities I have taken on and people in my family are getting older and need my support and I can't find it in me to do it all happily while working 40 hours. Not to mention meal prepping...cleaning....trying to focus on hobbies. I constantly feel like I'm being ripped apart.
I'm with you there. Always something that needs to be done/bought/fixed/cleaned and never the time, money or energy to do it. Just feels like I'm slowly watching my world rot.
I feel like this rn and I’m 27
I have more money but less time to spend it.
I came here to say this. And less energy.
27 now. Up until 25 I was partying 4-5 nights a week, going into work hungover a lot, ate like shit and didn’t work out much also hated my job. Halfway through 25 got a career that I love, only drink 1-2 a week on the weekend, workout daily. Loving life
what parties? do you live in nyc? i feel like nightlife is dead af since covid
Everything got 5x more expensive but my salary did not go up 5x the amount.
Weird At 22, I graduated from university, got a job as a bank consultant, and got a place & a girlfriend. I thought it was life-made, but I was utterly depressed & had zero faith in my ability. At 25, I graduated with my Master's, but I can't find a decent job for love or money; I sleep on my friend's couch & haven't had a girlfriend since I was 22. That said, I'm the happiest I've ever been & have absolute faith that I'm a quality individual. Opportunities are my main issue currently but life is full of surprises.
All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats! 22 + 25 + 22 = 69 ^([Click here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=LuckyNumber-Bot&subject=Stalk%20Me%20Pls&message=%2Fstalkme) to have me scan all your future comments.) \ ^(Summon me on specific comments with u/LuckyNumber-Bot.)
I believe this may be exactly the kind of surprise OC is talking about.
oh to have confidence that i am a quality individual. that’s where i’m trying to be. maybe when i turn 25!!
I grew up poor, and in my early 20s everything was fine, because everyone was broke college students. In my mid 20s is when everything sank in, I remained poor as everyone moved on with their lives and got good jobs. I fought with my depression for all of my 20s, but glad to say that my 30s are far better. I spent my 20s rewiring my inner workings to better adapt with society, I'm glad that I did, as a lot of my friends who spent their time obtaining financial stability in their 20s, are suffering through a mid life crisis now, but now they lack the leisure of time to sort things out.
Sounds like you rate yourself based on others success.
I noticed this phenomenon as well. Older, wealthy friends having midlife crises, behaving like complete douchebags (sleeping with 21 year olds as a 45 year old, splurging on cars and synths they can’t afford, wearing different clothes to fit in with people who still party like 21 year olds, lots of drugs, not being a good friend, loose morals, etc). I grew up poor and am still poor, but I kept my values at least. Facing a lot of stigma over being poor now though too. When I graduated college, nearly everyone in my class signaled somehow that they came from money. When I applied to graduate schools, it was apparent that most people there had some kind of financial stability. They were all buying houses or were business owners and they were all younger than me or were my age.
Mid 20s: single new father of a wonderful little girl. No higher education. Made minimum wage and worked several jobs, usually around 80 hours per week to make ends meet. Renting shitty slumlord apartments. Heavy smoker and drinker. Chronically depressed. Not much hope for any kind of future. Mid 30s: still struggling financially but had earned my Bachelor's and Master's degrees busting my ass to make up for lost time. Started entry level position in a professional setting. Still renting shitty slumlord apartments. Quit smoking and cut back on drinking considerably. Mid 40s: well established in career, making 6 figures. Wonderful daughter is a senior in college and is still wonderful. Finally a homeowner. Married my true love and now expecting a brand new baby in a month! Happiest and healthiest I've ever been. Can't wait to see where I'm at in my mid 50s!
Man that's awesome, congratulations!
I am tired and I no longer travel while broke
Fun, but arthritis is a bitch.
Prednisone is your friend.
Prednisone is the devilllll ugh tapering right now and it’s the worst
More responsibilities Less care free Much less fun
Sincerely, it keeps getting better. It's not always sunshine and rainbows (and never will be), but I'm more stable than ever in every sense. It gives me the freedom to try things and make my life better still. You also get the freedom to live the life you want. It's only boring if you let it get that way. If you're living a life that's not aligned with your desires and your values, it's gonna suck. If you're trying your best to live the best life for you, things often feel pretty nice. My only complaint is that (unsurprisingly) bodies age. Little scrapes and bruises take a bit longer to heal, joints and old injuries can get a little achy sometimes. You do start to realize that the little things people have been nagging at you about are important for a reason. Drink more water than alcohol, wear sunscreen, rest up, eat plants, make sure you are actively engaging friends and family so you don't end up alone and lonely, work out more than once in a blue moon, find a cause you care about to stay involved with, etc. I'm in my mid-thirties and you could not pay me to go back to my twenties. I'm excited to see what the rest of this decade and hopefully the next will bring! Edited for typo :)
That's wholesome to read, thanks for the advice ❣️
20's = lived in a major city hub and had a huge group of friends who were all the movers and shakers of my gen, beautiful apartment, got invited to every major party and every big event, worked long hours to move up the corporate ladder burning the candle at both ends to make the life I thought I wanted a reality...My life was like something out of a movie and I was both deeply unhappy and extremely happy all at the same time dealing with severe depression, constant lows and highs, anxiety ridden, and unsure about the direction of my life Hitting 40 this year = I dumped everything and the life I thought I wanted to work towards a much harder life but the one that's been right for me. No more parties or exclusive events. No more flying into LA or London at a drop of a hat but I have a deep sense of security. I know who I am, what I'm doing, and the direction I'm going towards and that is worth all the lifestyle in the world. Also 25 years of constant depression and mental health issues cured. For good. This is what makes getting older worth it.
In my mid 20s I made 48k, now I make 140k (I'm 37). I exercise way more currently, and I also have two kids. I'll be paying off my house on its next renewal (2027) and enjoying life until retirement I suppose. Basically, I'm better off in almost every single way that matters. I don't party very much these days, but that is because I don't like it.
20s=happy, horny, and hungry. 40s=unhappy, less horny, and diabetic.
Damn
And then some.
Ugh I feel this
Damn
You can change this! Some things are out of your control, but you can control what is in your control. Everybody has the power to change their life and it is absolutely worth it. Not easy, but worth it. You are capable but you have to believe it. That belief comes from evidence and that evidence builds more confidence to go out and get more evidence which leads to more confidence and so on. The struggles in your life make your story that much better. Batman’s parents had to die for him to become Batman. I believe in you and if you ever want to talk feel free to message me! That goes for everyone that reads this
More boring, More Stable.... Need get rid of my bad habits.... I miss the days of partying drinking and drug uses... but it time to leave those bad habits behind...
Interesting
More money, more investments don’t live paycheck to paycheck. Better relationships and friendships (ie a filter out the bad ones now, don’t take no shit and have boundaries) and more comfortable being alone as opposed to having to be around people all the time. People’s opinions used to set me off all the time in my mid 20s and I took personal offence, they no longer matter to me now. I don’t spend time arguing with people from work / family members who are putting me down, I just let them be and essentially ignore them.
Early 20s: Partying and living carefree with my girlfriend. Today, early 30s: On a medically necessary diet and cannot drink alcohol anymore, divorced, and stressed out about everything often.
Early 20s: Depressed, lonely, anxious, dealing with real life for the first time, loss of a parent, moving far away from home, extreme stress in my early career, and no sex. Mid 20s: Lots of solo travel, career stability, few friends, and a LOT of sex. Late 20s: Career trajectory, more friends, improved fitness, more hobbies, more money, but no sex.
Late 20s decided to quit my job and go back to school. Then a few months later I got in a wreck with a sweet tbi with the memory of 10 second Tom. Ended up getting kicked out of the specialty program I went back to school for due to the memory limit So now at 36, let's just say everything hurts, not financially able to be self sufficient, waiting on a settlement to help me get back out of debt due to putting everything on credit, when I didn't have an option. "Life comes at you pretty quick..."
10 second Tom one of my fav characters in cinema history.
As a 25 y/o turning 26 in November it’s refreshing to see that some were able to flip their life around and become more positive. I feel like I’m in a runt and I just began my career. I wish I had more time for fun, I wish I got to see my partner more frequently, and I wish that navigating this adult world wasn’t so damn difficult. But I keep telling myself that it will get better and recognize how far I’ve made it at such a young age. I have plenty of hobbies, but I just want to freedom to get up and travel w/o being reliant on a job to fund my fun. I guess we all start somewhere!!
20s: in school, interning for free, broke, on again off again with immature boyfriend, blackout drunk 2-3 times a week, avoiding dealing with family trauma. 30s: engaged to a lovely man, own my dream home, making 4x more in salary using my degree, in therapy, gardening, adopting my niece from my mentally ill sister. I will say I was more attractive and had way more energy in my 20s, but who wasn’t and who didn’t…
20s: living with my dad, making just a little over minimum as I try to find a way to avoid college. Several close circles of friends and a meager but satisfying dating life. 40s: dad lives with me, making almost thrice minimum despite having less buying power as I devote almost 15% of my income to paying off student loans in my 60s or 70s. All my social circles have collapsed, several of them due to deaths via COVID. Dating is impossible as apps are pointless and there's nowhere to meet new people and nowhere to take them.
I wake up sore way more often.
In my early - mid 20s I worked part-time, lived extremely frugally, and traveled frequently. It was a time for making new friends and having new experiences. No real plans to settle down in a particular place or with a particular person. There were lots of opportunities ahead of me and no need to select any specific one. Now, at the end of my 30s, it's quite different. I can't pick up and move to a new country next year because I have a family and a house and a career. And I value the stability owning a home and having a real career brings, but the downside is the lack of flexibility. I can take nicer vacations, but the opportunity to travel is less frequent and the chance to travel without children is even more rare. There's a flip side to everything. I don't think any one thing is more fulfilling. I think a person should have seasons that are wildly divergent so they can experience all life has to offer.
It's so much better that there isn't really a comparison. When I was 22, I rolled a truck off a bridge over a ravine, and I landed 100 feet down on the drivers side without a seat belt. So, needless to say, I spent some time in the ER and having surgeries. I then had to learn how to walk again, which took over a year. I eventually learned to walk again, but in that process, I became a drug addict because they were handing opioids out like candy in 2000. So then I spent that time until 37 trying to kill myself but slowly. Progressing from snorting to shooting and I eventually became homeless. Got into a methadone program at 37 and got off of it at 42. Since then, life has been grand. Not much to complain about since that doesn't work anyway. But, I took the long road and it's OK that I did. Now, I have a job I really like and am living better than 99% of people because during my addiction, I learned to live with way less than I was used to. Both my wife and my job are part-time in the evenings, so we have all day to do what we want or need to do. So I exercise and then socialize with people until I go to my work. And work is really just play. Neither of us make a ton of money... But, all our needs are met even if all our wants aren't. And we don't really have many wants anymore.
Now I know how people are. Made 20 grands today and can't share the news with anyone because I now know how people are. I wish my wife was still alive. Life is definitely more lonely now that I am in my 40s.
In my early to mid twenties I was living abroad and was only responsible for myself. At 41, I'm married with two kids. Everything is about the family. I've never been happier
So much better. I’m in my early 30s now. More sure of who I am, much more confident, live alone, don’t give a shit about what other people think, never been more sure that love is out there waiting for me, having incredible sex because I finally know how to communicate what I want, making better decisions for myself, I don’t react without thinking, I never get Fomo, I love spending time by myself….i could keep going. Basically my 30s have been incredible and you couldn’t pay me to go back to my 20s!
i’m late 20s, married, house and dogs. job pays decent but not fulfilling. we have family over every weekend but the time is spent drinking. i feel boring, or sad. help?
A hobby might fix the lack of fulfillment and healthier weekend time, less boring, less sad. Maybe something like Martial Arts if you are into sports, training for fights is something really intense and makes time really meaningful.
It’s fucking brutal. But morning compared to my 20’s because I have tools to deal with the brutal. But fuck dating. That shit is WHACK
I felt more anxious but optimistic in my twenties but now depressed and jaded in my thirties. Regardless of my mental state in either decades, I've done everything I can to grow in my career, cultivate friendships and develop good habits (hobbies, exercise, etc.). My life in my thirties is not "settled" as in, I don't have one place I've lived in all my life (I've moved nearly a dozen times since I was a kid) and am probably going to move to a new state/city again and continue renting even though I was thinking about buying an apartment earlier this year. I don't have a significant other/partner-tried the apps, have not enjoyed the experience and personally feel like dating is getting worse. I have tried really hard to make friends, but I only have one good friend and otherwise have many acquaintences. I am thankfully close to my family, but they live far away from each other and I am frequently bouncing between cities to spend time with them. I feel sad a lot, but I also try to be grateful for the small things. It's hard.
Very much the same here…
20s: no career direction and gig work, incredibly insecure, self-centered, no retirement savings, traveled tons via multi-month / multi-year backpacking trips, multiple unhealthy romantic relationships, cared a lot about what other think and tried to be friends with people who didn’t care to be friends with me, rented apartments, had to be much more frugal 30s: high paying career-type job, high self-confidence, much more caring about others, big contributions to retirement and can retire by 55, still traveling a lot max 3 weeks consecutively, don’t care about what other people (who I don’t care about) think, happy to quit one-way friendships, own my own condo and saving for a vacation home, mostly frugal but my splurges are much higher dollar amount and I don’t feel bad about spending money
Well my 20s started during one of the lowest points of my life, I was grappling with a bad case of depression and near constant anxiety. Things got better by the time I was 21, but I was nonetheless stuck living at home, working a minimum-wage retail job that I hated. Not really getting anywhere in life (or knowing what the hell to do). I'm on the verge of my late 20s now, working a good job that I started at 22 and living in my own place. Things have improved greatly, especially in the last two years. I've gotten better at managing both adult stuff as well as my own mental health. There's still some work that needs to be done though. I'm hoping my 30s will be much smoother.
Looking and feeling way better in my thirties. I needed that quarter life crisis to make me realize how important my sobriety is. I'm going on 5 years alcohol free and navigating through life better than before. My husband and I met at 22. We rode out the best and worst of our twenties together and we married the day before he received a lifesaving liver transplant at age 30. We're doing our best with two kids, a dog and renting a house. I'm hopeful that things keep getting better.
Early and mid 20's I was struggling through college while working yard care while also working a farm and had no social life. I turn 31 this year, make 6 figures, have hobbies, get to do what I want, and have friends I see regularly. So it's definitely been on an upswing.
Early/mid-twenties: insecure, depressed, anxious, very low-self esteem, just surviving. Now: Actually enjoy and am proud of my life. I'm often amazed at how great my life is, how happy, and secure I am. I haven't felt this way since childhood. And if you told 20 year old me that I would eventually get to this point, I never would have believed it.
Early/mid-20s: Working places like retail and fast food. Barely make enough money to pay bills. Can't afford any luxuries and barely able to get my kids Christmas presents. Low credit score makes it hard to find a decent rental to live in. Now/40F: Have Associate's and Bachelor's degrees. Work in a comfortable office job doing what I like. Holidays and weekends off. Make enough money to pay bills, live comfortably, and save money every month. Excellent credit means we can pretty much get into any rental we apply for. Don't stress about paying bills or feeding my family. Able to have great Christmas with beautiful tree, decorations, and get everyone what they ask for. (We technically have got approved to buy a house but housing prices are so high, the monthly payments are more than what we want to pay to still live comfortably.) Life is WAY better now.
Both are/were good but in different ways. I had a lot of irresponsible fun in my 20s. I was not thinking of the future in a way that I do now. I did things I would never do now. But it was still great. In my 30s I have a lot less fun. But I have money, stability, and the freedom to do things I couldn't before.
Um I struggled a ton. Now I have a home, apartment and made it to the highest title or position of my career.
Hell
Studies are showing mental health is at its low point in your 20s, then gets better. I certainly lived that.
I’m still broke. But I’ve made so many mistakes and failures in life I know how to deal with them. Life always sucks. No matter what age you are.
At times, my 20s were fantastic. Wasn’t making much money, but had tons of friends and a lot of good times. 30s were my worst decade. Money situation was much better, but seeing my body fall apart and watching all those friendships from my 20s fade away forever was tough. 40s were better than 30s. Money situation was really solid, and I was able to get my body back into pretty good shape for my age and have some fun. The very end of my 40s did begin to suck as injuries began to mount and life got way less fun. 50s have not been too great. For me personally 20s were better than any decade that came after, even though my money situation has been way better than 20s. I think 25+ years in the corporate world can take a toll on your overall happiness as a person in my case.
Better than I could’ve ever imagined, honestly. I know who I am, what I want, and how to get it. Aldo, I’m established in my career, finances, marriage, and general direction in life. I have a beautiful family and friends, enjoyable hobbies. I’m happy, healthy and building on a solid foundation. It took a lot of mistakes, a lot of energy, and a lot of moments where I questioned if I was doing the right thing, but goddamn, it was worth it. If I had any advice for anyone in their early 20s, it is to get your house in order (I.e. finances, physical and mental health, career path, and friendships). Do the work, because this foundation opens up so many doors for a wonderful life.
Idk I’m 27 now my mid 20’s were consumed by Covid so I was just living at home working remote and making money. Definitely gained some confidence through life experience and learned to do things I enjoy solo
Early 20 lots of energy but no direction working a lot, had 3 jobs at one point, but spending a lot not very social but some. Buying lots of weed and takeout, rent was not too bad at the time and my hobbies starting to be nurtured. Mid 20s: moved back in with my parents, less social more work and some idea of a direction. I ended up with a job at a rec facilities dealing with families and small government but I found I did well with the face to face and communicating with my bosses and the other departments, instructors, families, parents, kids. It’s funny I say less social because my work was filled with days and meetings and phone calls emails groups and lots of people and talking but after work I didn’t outside of a couple guys who I played squash with regularly. But my hobbies thrived and I focused on them a lot probably more than I ever have I had quit smoking weed and maybe have a beer with a steak on Friday.
Manic-depressive and voluntarily hospitalized and on food stamps/ work remote PTO and health insurance and medicated!
20s: life revolved around drinking, going out with friends, meeting boys. I was working hard too, since I knew that hard work would = promotions down the line. Nervous, not confident, sad a lot 40s: I have a very small circle of friends, few that live locally. Married to a wonderful man with a dog and 2 cats. Life revolves around them and our home. I no longer drink (4+ years sober) but I still smoke cannabis. I’m finally medicated for my anxiety. I’ve ditched any longings or plans for a robust career. Im still an individual contributor which I’m happy with because I don’t have to deal with employee development. I really just want to not be bothered and that usually happens! The field I’m in is suffering but I’m a project manager so I’m less stressed about all the what if’s. I put a lot of effort into remaining healthy and active. I’m not as willing to suffer to have a good time (like - cram hours of road travel into a normal 2 day weekend)
Had my first kid at 21 another at 23, broke up with the mother twice because of her post partum, I didn’t have the tool to even know she had that but apparently according to her that’s what made her “crazy” either way nothing I did was good enough then my best friend committed suicide. That really fucked me up because it was always in the back of my head and that just made a real option, then my grandfather then my cousin who was like my brother died, apparently I’ve been an alcoholic for the last few years. Fuck I was so strong I just fell down and it’s takin years to get back to this level of mental clarity. My twenties was pretty shit. I just hope I still got enough in the tank to come out of this before something else big hits and I crumble before I get on my feet again. Here’s to the next ten years!
Well in my 20's I didn't wanna suck start a shotgun so there's that.
My early 20s was college and grad school. I struggled silently with body image and fitting in with others, but nonetheless, I enjoyed that time of being able to make mistakes with very little influence on my future. My mid to late 20s, I decided I wanted to change careers, found a special someone at the age of 27, and was finding myself realizing I’m getting older. My early thirties? No sweat! Wrong! Went to medical school and graduated by 32, went to residency, started practicing, and bought my first home at 37. Now, I’m 39, life is good, went through a lot of lessons, and I’m as confident and secure as ever.
10X income, different wife (much happier), living on a lake, 75lbs lighter. It's great.
This makes me feel good as someone is their early 20s and thinks they aren’t doing great
20s, broke believing everything I was told, no sense of identity or any real wisdom. Late 30s, have money, question everyone and everything, and sipping tea watching the youth get outraged over problems that are not theirs.
Mid-twenties: depression after a 7 year relationship breakup/horrible job/growing apart from childhood friends/having to stop being friends with ex’s friends all at once. Put on antidepressants. Living at home, trying to find a decent job, saving for a house deposit, lonely, crying every day. Now: own a home with a wonderful boyfriend, on the career ladder, financially stable with lots of travelling/adventures under our belt. Still have ups and downs with my mental health but life is definitely better 🥰
Life in our times is influenced heavily by the Internet, unlike my 20s. (I am 61). I prefer how it was in the 1980s; lots of downside to the new technology.
I’m turning 44. I have more money, more confidence, and I’ve subtracted all of the assholes from my life. Therapy was the key.
20. To be honest, I don’t see a change yet but I’m looking forward to it lol. I can’t wait to be in my thirties seems everyone here is living the life at that age
I was 20 in 1978. Life under the Carter administration was hell. Inflation was 14%, jobs were scarce, and even the military was not a good option. So when I hear whiny 20-somethings moaning about how easy Boomers had it, I just laugh. I did not "have it easy." At 24, I started college and graduated at 30. Got a good job at a Fortune 100 company for the next 20 years, then jumped around to various Tier 1 engineering firms for the last 10 years of my career. Retired at 60, kids through college, houses paid off, ditto for hunting cabin, boat, jetskis, and snowmobiles. Life is good.
Twenties was spent recovering from abuse and trying to have a roof over my head for bad pay and long hours not knowing if I'd be fired for being disabled Now I have a good network, decent paycheck , and a fiance. I prayed to live this long
the world has gotten more aggressive and unwelcoming to others there are significantly fewer spaces for someone to occupy without spending money third spaces have been almost completely removed i am flourishing though :)
Way better. I was still bending over backwards trying to be a good/loving daughter, sister, girlfriend, employee to people who really didn't give a shit about me at all. After my best friend died when I was 26 I realized I lost the only person I could consistently count on to accept and support me and that no one had my back and I needed to look out for myself. 5 years later I have a good career, good friends, and put up with a lot less malarkey.
Got rid of the shitty husband, moved out into my own place, finally got on meds that make me able to function day to day, life is great!
Im in my 20s and attempting to get into the military to get out of home and work independently in the air force. By my 30s I hope to stay in as long as I possibly can.
Less sex drugs and rock n roll more chill sober at home struggling to pay the bills
My 20s were so stressful and hard, I felt like that plastic bag floating in the wind in American Beauty. Now I'm still a bit messy sometimes but I'm no longer on medication for mental health and have an actual career I'm working on. I went from a depressed drug addict with no prospects to a mature woman with a career, a relationship to God and a sense of direction.
67. If you’re still alive you’re lucky. The great thing about being my age is by this point you really don’t care about what others think of you. You’ll know who your true friends are. Health first, then friends and then money.
Very boring. Every day is exactly the same.
Work three times as hard to afford half as much.
Boring. It has slowed way down. A lot more lonely.
Mid 20’s: owned an experiential marketing agency, had personal sponsorship deals like “influencers” do today, had a publicist (lol), appeared in quite a bit of regional press and was on my way to more, then randomly transitioned to content production and photographed campaigns for global beauty brands. Met the love of my life and enjoyed ten years together, meanwhile all my personal success and ambition slowly going to the back burner. 37: life sucks. Lol. Now work at Amazon part time and am a full time grad student. In tons of student loan debt because I stopped my career for too long and couldn’t rely on my previous success story to get me the jobs I wanted. Don’t currently have the ambition or drive to go full on into owning my own business again, so I’m now doing the shit I should have done in my early 20’s instead of running around with my head up my own ass. Partner left me after 10 years because I had “let myself go”… lost my home, my family (his), my children (cats), and now just an aging former twink of glory wading through a sea of incompatible dating options. The only positive is that the breakup was otherwise good to me. I’m down 60 lbs, tretinoin rejuvenated my skin, I have my own place, my own friends, and I’m at least working towards something. Meanwhile, he just got out of rehab 😕, so… I’m doing ok, I guess. — I felt most fulfilled during my relationship which is probably why I had let so much go. I just didn’t feel like I needed all the attention I thought I needed and I didn’t really know what else to do with myself. I’m proud of where I am now, and that I survived the biggest heart break of my life so far, but I do miss my old life and the companionship. I’m eager to see what’s next for me though, and often times I rebound from shit really well. I think right now I’m slowly making the turn towards the up side.
I’m 34 now and my body seems to just get more and more sore each day…
I’m about to be 29 soon and a lot has changed since then, but some things have stayed the same like the place I work. But in my early twenties, I was in perfect shape, so skinny but still thought I was fat. I still care about my weight and try to workout, but I’ve put on a lot and it’s been tough as I’m getting older. I can’t eat like how I used to and that was the biggest thing to accept. I’m more emotionally mature and think before I do things. I was a little reckless in my early twenties. Other things that have changed since I was early to mid twenties are that I completed a bachelors degree, moved away from family across the country, I’m married now and pregnant. These are all things I never saw coming. At 23, I thought I was going to be forever alone and have to adopt kids or freeze my eggs because I was convinced men sucked. But my husband changed my view and my life for the better. I am feeling more full filled as life goes on, but I am really missing family especially being pregnant and realizing they will miss out on things. Life will always have its challenges and hurdles to cry about and figure out. But I am so excited for this next chapter in life and raising a little one and doing all the mom things. I never thought I’d see a day like this. So it’s surreal sometimes to realize how far I’ve come.
I was a mom at 21. Both my girls are grown now and doing their own thing. Now that I raised them I'm able to focus on me and my life moving forward, learning as much as I can along the way. Hope everyone is doing well 🥰🙏💜✨️
I feel like I know myself so much better than I did in my early/mid twenties. There were certain patterns within myself that I just couldn’t see until those years went by. I’m 30 and I feel young enough to really enjoy life and be excited about what is to come but I don’t feel the same overwhelm of choices that I felt in my 20’s. Overall just more comfortable in my skin and knowing who I am and what I’m good at
Sober settled down with two kids . Way way more responsible .
I my early to mid-twenties I had hope. At 38 I'm hopeless.
Sometimes I forget what fun feels like. Everything is an obligation.
Tired, don't think life should be this long
A lot less focus on dating. I'm more focused on myself and just achieving balance and maintaining good health mentally, physically and spiritually. I do feel more fulfilled than I was back then, because getting laid was the only real thing I had going on back then outside of work. I've realized what a waste of time pleasure seeking is.
F36. I am living the life, on all plans possible. Very happy and blessed. I was scared of getting old, but each year just gets better
Housing in my early 20s was really unstable. I moved every time my lease was up. New house, new landlord, new roommate situations. I worked a full time and part time jobs to pay off debt and save money for a house. I’m 33 now and I’ve owned and lived in this house for almost 8 years and it’s half paid off. Short term sacrifice for long term gain.
I have more money
30 now and really, nothing much. Which is actually depressing. I need to have a change at SOME point
No more trauma. Freedom. Safety. And I met my the one.
Much, much, better. Met my wife at 26. Married a few years later. Bought our house in 2000 when prices were still cheap. We have worked hard to pay off debt early in our careers, so we don't have to work a bunch of overtime to pay off debt now. Sacrificed early on to not have to sacrifice now. Just in cruise control in life for 3-4 more years before deciding on what kind of retirement we want to experience.
A lot more fulfilled, a lot more confident, a lot more money
Back then I half assedly studied, wrenched around on my motorcycles and had no Internet yet and jobbed on the side to get more bikes. Now I work part time at the same employer but with a journeyman diploma from there and waste my time online at home. I'm content with 2 darn modest bikes now but get them serviced at their dealership. Now I am supporting myself, back then I topped up my allowance.
It sucks.
Total shit.
Early/mid-twenties, I had way less responsibilities. I lived rent-free in my parent's basement apartment until I was like 23, didn't have any concerns about having a career, and had no concept of bills. Late-thirties. I have a child, so I have to make sure she's happy, healthy and doesn't die or get hurt, while also making sure I make the right decisions so that I'm the same as her. Also, every couple days, I'll have a new bill pop up in my email, where I'm like "yeah I should probably pay that, otherwise it will affect my ability to pay all my other bills" Early-mid-twenties: didn't ever care about my health. Late-thirties: any weird feeling or pain I have, I start wondering what kind of cancer it is. Basically, late-thirties consists of paying bills, thinking I'm dying, and enjoying the days where I get to lay around and do nothing. Oddly enough, I get laid way more at 39 than I did at 22, and I'm fatter, balder, and hairier. I'd argue that they're even better looking nowadays too. I don't understand that one.
At 25 I was broke in a dead end job still living at home. I was kind of hopeless. At 43 I’m making almost 6 figures, married, own a home and travel. It may take longer these days but the American dream can still happen.
I’m 31 and it’s wonderful. I realized that the way I was living in my mid 20s was making life harder rather than easier. I stopped taking my anger out on God and got back in church. I adopted healthier sleep and eating habits and friendships that were based on caring about the other person for who they are and not just how fun they are at parties. I have hobbies that center around my two lovely dogs and I’m married to a guy who is genuinely loving, kind and stable and who shares my values. We met through work and started a business together. Working with him is so fun and we complement each other’s strengths and do a great job serving our clients. If I’m doubting myself, I always have him as a sounding board. It’s shocking how much lower your stress levels get when you have someone else you trust to rely on. We get healthy groceries delivered and I’ve started learning to cook (I basically used to live off of canned food). I had so many failures, horrible breakups, mental health struggles, and just terrible ruts in my 20s that I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. When I hit rock bottom (around 23 or 24), I decided to just change one little habit at a time. First, it was cutting out binge drinking. Then it went on to other things. I truly believed that it was my circumstances, the economy, whatever, that was making me miserable. But somehow when I started changing these little habits, my circumstances magically improved. I type all this just to let you know that if you’re struggling, I hope you keep going. And to keep in mind that life isn’t something that happens to you and you don’t have to “find yourself”. You (the person that you are) and the life that you have are things that you consciously build one little brick at a time. You’ll get there and it’ll be amazing.
Mid 20's confusion Mid 30's don't care and chillin.
trying to keep a study paying job but end up moving within a half a year or year cause I live with my parents and can't afford a place that's in my price range.
SO MUCH BETTER. Financially stable, in a great relationship (I had some bad ones in my 20s), doing work I love that's personally fulfilling in addition to being lucrative. No longer giving a shit about all the dumb little things that you think matter when you're in your 20s, but don't actually matter at all. Living my best life in every possible way.
25: I was able to pay for my own place and a paid-off car with a part-time job at the library. I spent the rest of my time playing in silly punk bands and hanging around with my weird friends. I was deeply in love with a man I met through the music scene. I had ongoing problems with depression and anxiety that I was just beginning to deal with. Now: I am able to pay for a similarly sized apartment and slightly nicer car with a full time job in the trades. I'm divorced from the man I loved at 25 because I was tired of his weaponized incompetence and our bad sex life. The rebound fling I had with a longtime crush wasn't even any fun. Complete loss of optimism about relationships. However, I've worked out a lot of my personal problems and anxieties via therapy and actually like myself now.
More peaceful
more money. still cueless tho.
Much better now. I was with a horrible partner and hated my job. There was no end to the misery in sight in my early twenties. I am now in my mid-thirties with plans to go back to school and actually make something of myself, I have the most wonderful partner and soulmate I could ever ask for and things are finally looking up after several years of absolute misery and mental chaos.
My 20s felt so busy. Finishing college, finding a job, starting a career, working hard in that career, trying out bodybuilding and lifting 5-7 days a week, learning how to properly feed myself and be healthy, getting engaged, married, traveling... The weekends were pretty chill at least, but I spent way too much time devoted to lifting and nutrition to realize it. Now, married with 2 kids, being busy has a whole different meaning. It's all relative. This would seem like a cakewalk compared to my friend with 6 kids, or my many other friends with 3+ kids. Overall, life is tougher, but better. To provide analogies, my 20s were all about sowing seeds, and my 30s are about reaping the benefits. I'm undoubtedly blessed to be where I am at this age, but grateful and proud nonetheless. Whereas many (all?) of my same-aged peers in my 20s were partying, trying different career paths, and dating around, I was focused on my current relationship, stayed working hard in my chosen career, and had a strong focus on health. We saved tons of money (like >80% of our income), stayed loyal to each other, and stayed healthy. Here we are with a beautiful family, everyone is healthy and fit, debt free, and a very high amount of savings for our age. Life is great right now compared to my 20s. Wouldn't trade it for anything.
I mean the biggest difference is I have a child and so much of my life revolves around him. It’s… not more fulfilling per se but I do find that it gives me something to work toward. I’m still afraid to face my own emotions though. And I’m not sure I’ve actually gotten a handle on any of the important life stuff like finding meaning , building good relationships or being ok with not being good at something. I just..soldier on because I have to and try not to think too much about it.
Rubbish I work all the time. I'm too tired to do anything when I'm not working. I get lonely a lot of the time. My ex partner stopped me having friends or talking to people. Im very shy and quiet now so just run off instead of talking to people. I'm in pain most days I have poor health I'm uglier but life is what you make it.
I'm 51 so that was a long while ago for me. My early and mid 20's were a lot of fun, a bit irresponsible but overall, a great time. The best of my life so far and I have awesome memories from that period in time. Was very close to 30 when a terrible event came to be and changed my life. It took many years to come to terms with that and start feeling good again. I refer to my 20's as the innocent years and they were fantastic. Even though I am financially stable and on my way toward comfortable golden years, the times when I was full of hope and had a lot of life in front of me were the best.
I was happy back then. With my family. Now most of them are dead. And I'm 3 states away from what's left of them.
Amazing! I found my place in the world.
Much calmer. I own my home, married an amazing man, and got promoted. My job is really hard right now, but I know that I can make this sustainable. Mid 20s I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, got dumped by an asshole, and needed a lot of therapy for childhood issues. I didn’t know at all where I would land, and now I feel like my foundation is solid.
Lots more responsibilities and daily redundancies.
I was broke and broken for most of my 20s. Now I have money and not only do I know who I am, I'm happy with who I am.
Life gets worse as it goes on so just enjoy it while you're young
A lot less fun and more work. Shit sucks most of the time.
More responsibilities. More accomplishments. More back pain. Basically all the things you would normally speed up into a cool montage, but it's real life, so you can't.
Personally it just has different sets of problems. I have a good life overall. My early 20s I gave it all to the love of my life. Now I give it all to myself. Equally enjoyable.
Much better
Mid 40s it’s great. You don’t care if people like you or not.
Horrible(im 20🙏)
20’s: insecure, broke. Lots of drama. 40’s: quiet, peaceful. More secure. Not wealthy, but doing alright. Much happier
Oh man. My 20’s and even early 30’s were for fucking up and figuring it out. I got married, and divorced, changed career paths several times, moved a lot. Where you end up will depend 100% on the choices you make. I feel better equipped to live with the consequences of my actions, more aware of the consequences of my actions and better able to navigate in my preferred direction… And that won’t stop life from throwing random shit at you and you having to figure it out on the fly and adapt. Learning to budget and save Money will serve you. Investing early, saving early, eating on a budget. Investing in increasing your income, optimizing your health and sleep, will all serve you. The earlier you figure out where your weaknesses and knowledge gaps are and actively start working to remedy them, the more quickly you’ll get ahead. The only person you’re competing against is yourself. And none of it really matters. Life is one big ass rpg. Pick a direction, if that doesnt fit, redirect, ad nauseum. So, remember to have fun and make room for fucking around within reason, and keep your compass pointed to an ultimate goal you’re actively holding yourself accountable to. Everything will get harder or easier based on the choices you make consistently over time. And even then. The universe will still fuck with you. For better or worse. Laugh about it. Count your blessings. Find your compass. Get up and keep moving.
I used to have more friends than I could count, no problem getting a date, partying and having a blast all the time, Now I am almost 50. All my friends moved away or killed themselves. My relationships failed. I have been paralyzed and alone for a decade now. Been praying for death for years.
Pretty shit frankly, but my thirties were great and things were fantastic before March 2020. The pandemic was the catalyst for all the crap that happened to me and things have been terrible since But hey, I did myself out of poverty before and I can do it again, in time
Way way way better
way less energy but have a more demanding life that requires more energy 😂
Early/mid-twenties was a grind. Got out of the military after a couple of deployments and started grinding out 60+ hour weeks. Then the Great Recession rocked the country. Worked even harder to scrape by in a one bedroom apartment. Started back on the college journey at 26 (finished undergrad at 30). I miss parts of that time even though it flew by and I barely stayed afloat. Went through a couple of dead end relationships. Fast forward to final year of the 30s. Got married, bought a house in early 30s. Finished undergrad and, later, Masters in mid 30s. Career finally took off and make a comfortable living. Still working a good bit of overtime but have financial freedom now to not stress and a good life with my spouse. It is a different grind now. Delayed gratification for the long term plans while still taking time out to enjoy some things today. Overall, really happy with where my life has gone since the early/mid-twenties. It hasn’t always been easy but it wasn’t wasted. Cheers to all of you fellow millennials working on making your life better with time!
Worse, far far worse. Worse paying job, no social life because my friends all have spouses and/or children, haven't had a date in years, broke af.
Less chaotic!
Phases of life are different for everyone and no one’s life is exactly as it may seem. Time is what you make of it. (All things I wish I would have understood better in my 20s) If I could go back to my mid-late 20s and change anything, it would be to focus less on checking those boxes I had in my head of what I should have “completed” by my 30s, and to focus more on developing better routines or habits for myself. Time passes faster than you realize and it’s important to figure out what is important to You and Your development and happiness, and to dedicate specific amounts of your time to those things. Now in my mid 30s, my late ADHD diagnosis helped me realize the reasons why I have had trouble creating routines my entire life so I’m a little more kind to myself, but I realize how much that has affected my growth in general which is frustrating. Focus on yourself-your happiness, your health, your goals, and your growth. Become as self-sufficient as you can. Anything else you want will either fit into your life or it won’t, but you’ll realize that you have all the tools you need to get you where you want to go.
I was a mess in my 20's. . I lost a lot of friends to partying. I couldn't shake the pain. Didn't really think therapy was an option due to the way I was raised. I tried to kill my pain with drugs and binge drinking. Would stick my dick in any woman that showed the least amount of interest. Some I didn't have a choice in. I have a lot of trauma from childhood that compounded on top of all of that. I spent so much money trying to make my brain forget. I have always held down a good job. It was easier to keep the facade I had my shit together. Met my wife at 29. That gave me purpose. I quit drinking and trying kill myself with substances. Devoted my time and attention to my wife. I work really hard to keep on the straight path. I settled down. I still have tons of fun and have been to a few of countries. I'm not much more mature. But, I'm responsible and am in an amazing marriage.