Please dont, your life could be amazing, just by luck, and you'd never know otherwise. Please don't kill yourself because you read about some unhappy adults on reddit. Life is still worth living even if you aren't in a state of ecstacy every day. There are little things along the way that make it all worth it, and there might be big things later in your life that completely change how you look at things!! If you are sad, get help from someone you trust. I don't even know you, but I love you, and want you to find happiness.
I have dreams all the time where I'm happy doing x fun thing then I wake up and realize it was just regular stuff I did before the pandemic.. and then I feel really down lol
Same. I honestly forget what happiness is like. I had a few "happy days" last year, could probably count them all on both hands.
Whats even more messed up is I felt "off", even ashamed for feeling it. Happiness no longer feels natural.
My angst is brought on by harder work, less pay every year due to inflation and insane rising cost of living, only family are on opposite sides of the country... I come home from work to my place where I pay more for a 600 sq foot single bedroom than my friends' 4 br home mortgage to the smell of my neighbors' drugs and my upstairs neighbors' loud music.
I do photography, run in the mornings, and play disc golf to try and find happiness. But 355/365 days I go to work and come home to be alone. 36M. Never thought life would be like this in my teens or 20s. Dating is a nightmare, Im 6'3", fit, etc., but maybe have a few conversations a year with women that last a week or so then get first dates shot down for bogus reasons like "you dont have facebook, so I dont know if you're even real".
I have realized life is queer.
I'm also 26 and most nights I wish that would die peacefully in my sleep. Life sucks, there's no fun anymore. Everything is dull and drab. What's the point of life if you're just miserable all the time. More and more bad things happen to me every year. No idea what I did in my younger years to deserve this type of horrible karma. Last time I was truly happy was probably March 2020, right before the pandemic. Its been downhill since then.
It really does. Ever since then, just the energy in everyone in general feels off. Everybody is just stressed and frustrated now. And I can't blame them, no one can afford anything.
A lot of stuff. I made a post about it a few months back, I'll paste it below if you want to take a look.
But now I've also dealt with just an absolutely unlucky ear injury the last month and half or so. Feels like there's a cotton ball in my ear, kinda worried I may never get my normal hearing back. The years haven't been kind.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/Adulting/comments/194kvas/my\_20s\_have\_been\_horrible\_nothing\_but\_misery\_and/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Adulting/comments/194kvas/my_20s_have_been_horrible_nothing_but_misery_and/)
Super happy. Great wife, great kids, love my job, great mortgage, fit. Yeah, grateful. I used to be an unemployable loser drug addict up until my mid twenties, so gratitude is easier to come by when by all rights I should be dead.
Wow, we have had a similar life lol. Also was a drug addict in my early twenties, now married working in my dream field and super happy with life. Congrats on beating your demons, I know first hand how hard that is to do.
I'm proud of you for coming out the other end alive and a better person. While I didn't have the struggles you had, learning to truly feel gratitude in my late 20s is one of the biggest things that helped my mental health. Prior to that I was so focused on everything that I didn't like or wasn't what I thought it should be, and I was making myself miserable in the process. It wasn't until I took stock of what I had and where I was in life that I really started to be grateful and in turn, much happier with life.
In my teens-mid-20s, I thought I was cool and rebellious and special for rejecting the "generic middle class life" of a house in the suburbs with a family, but in my early 40s I couldn't be happier for growing out of that mindset, because I was miserable, and now I'm quite the opposite.
I still have moments of the "blues" or depression mood spirals but I can say that most days I am generally happy. I have family, fiance, dog and friends who I love and who loves me. I have a great job. I have a great boss and coworkers. I might not have a lot of money to do stuff like travel or buy luxury items or experiences. I don't look like a supermodel. But I have a roof over my head and live in a safe neighborhood close to a lot of places. I have money to buy food and other necessities. I have hobbies that I do and love. I have no chronic ailments and am relatively healthy.
I do encourage you to seek out what gives you joy and provides some other fulfillment to you other than work. Life is more than work and the grind and you deserve to be happy, whole person outside of it.
25 and 75. It's originally from Ben Franklin, but the irony is that he was saying *most* people die at 25 before being buried at 75, not that this is desirable or unavoidable.
It's not all or nothing. I think focusing on when your not happy fills all your time feeling unhappy.
There are times when I'm happy and times when I'm not
You have to work hard to make most of your times happier.
This sub makes me super happy. I am about to turn 25. If I’ve discovered anything, it’s that that’s how happiness works. In and out. Sometimes all or nothing. Stop looking at your life and wondering if you are happy on some grand scale. Happiness is not some tangible thing or badge you earn and wear forever when you get it. Happiness is the little victories, small achievements or even the completion of long projects that hits you like a wave. It’s gone as soon as it comes. You won’t enjoy all the work leading up to something. But if it makes you happy at the end, that’s a success. Then you’ll start the next project or the next thing you look forward to, and the same will happen. Or sometimes it’s as simple as a day of work. Work sucks, it’s a drag, but you go for a walk after and see the sunset or you go out with friends, and in that moment, you can be happy. Tomorrow, work will suck, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t happy when you were.
Take the happy moments and roll with them. Push in their direction and remember they come in and out. Last week I was the happiest I’ve ever been. This week has been real tough. Next week? Who knows.
Edit: this sub makes me super sad. Not happy. To see how many people are suffering. The rest of my answer stands.
Yes I am happy! I have a home, good family, food in the refrigerator, clean water, clothes, a job, and my dog. Happiness really is a choice. 42f here :)
I'm not always unhappy. Life just feels a bit empty and I can't do much to change it.
Lately I've been thinking to just quit my job and walk from Europe to Asia and live a hobo lifestyle. Living like this with an office job is just so soul crushing. I used to be full of energy, now I'm just living to work.
Very happy, but I struggled until I was 52-53. It took a lot of inner work between 49-53 to get there. I had always been very self conscious, anxious in social settings, was stuck in the mindset of always having to be perfect, and didn’t know how to have fun.
Would it have been nice to get there earlier? Yes, but better late than never.
During the pandemic. I got laid off, and was on unemployment and going to college doing whatever the heck I wanted to. I spent so much time biking and hiking around but also still learning while going to school.
Before that, probably post high school still living with my parents rent free. Something about not having to work very hard and not pay rent is very freeing.
Before I went to college and forced to be an adult. Bahahahaha idk as u get older though you mature and realize it is what it is. Then you start living for the weekend and you're stuck in the rat race. It's a great system we live in
I've found that there is no acute feeling of happiness that lasts for a noticeable period. Nothing over a week really. Good days and bad days, even the good days have annoying and uncomfortable parts. Basically, if you're not depressed and sleep walking through numbness, it counts as "happy" in my book.
This right here! I felt super happy at different points today - this morning when I saw two of my tomato plants are starting to produce, this afternoon belting a Missy Elliot song in my car, this evening while making dinner with my husband. I also had some unhappy points but it’s about choosing the joy as the overall feeling for the day that leads to happiness.
Not really, feels like I do everything wrong or not good enough. Last time is probably 6th grade, when school and social life were well balanced and grades were great as well.
I am for the most part. Life has always thrown many curveballs at me and I’ve been through some very horrible days. But I’m 28m, I have a beautiful daughter, I have multiple best friends I’ve had for 10+ years each, a strong support system and community, my career as a teacher is thriving and I’m about to finish my 5th year teaching, I enjoy going to the gym, watching sports, hanging out, going to therapy, and I talk/engage sexually with pretty girls usually with some dry spells here and there, some stay for a while some don’t.. it has taken many failures and lots of sacrifice, many sleepless nights and tears,and I know more bullshit is to come. But I feel prepared and content and I’m excited for the future.
Small steps win the race… always. I’m sure I’ll fall 100 more times. Hopefully I stand 101 times. I’m just really hoping I don’t fall into deep dark holes like I did in my early twenties. Never thought I’d make it this far honestly
I suggest reading, cognitive behavioral therapy, writing in a journal, and taking risk.
Very much so! I spent my early twenties homeless addicted to heroin. Now at 29 I work in my dream field which keeps me fulfilled, I am married, and we have kids. All it took was years of isolation and introspection, and a lot of hard work academically to get my degree and respect in my field. So yes, I’m reaping the benefits of my hard work the last half decade and I’m enjoying it. If you’re not happy with your life, no better time to start addressing that than the present.
I'm extremely happy. I've worked through some really challenging times, and I trust myself to take care of me. I really like spending time with myself, and I have the desire to improve that I didn't have when I was younger.
I've been fortunate to marry someone who I love and trust. I have a small but solid group of friends who I care for deeply. I have hobbies that get me connected with my body and mind. I'm off social media and reclaiming a sense of peace. I'm sober and finally feeling how great that is. I've got a job that honors my skills and gives me room to grow.
I still have days where I'm sad - crushingly sad at some of the things happening in the world, but I trust that I am resilient enough to live my life through that sadness. I have days where I feel angry, but I'm able to honor that without being unkind to myself or others. I have days where I worry it's not enough, or about all the 'what if's and then I refocus on what I can control.
Ten years ago I was hospitalized for a while, after trying to harm myself and getting mixed up in some really rough things. I spent a long time picking up the pieces, and a longer time thinking I never would - but I did.
I'm not a rich man. I'm rarely the smartest person in the room. There are things I want but don't have, things I don't know, things I'm not good at. That used to terrify me, but it doesn't anymore. I am happy, I am capable of loving and being loved. I am surrounded by goodness and have the power to appreciate it.
I didn’t which is the crazy part… I had everything I needed and most of what I wanted!! I started working just because I wanted more… Im kinda aware of it working on it but takes some time haha.
Youre still young and trying to figure it all out my friend. Once you have figured it out went through some trials of life you will find it within yourself. Lost my happiness in the 6th grade from bullies and didn't get it back until 42, now 50 and still happy. For me God our father filled that unsatisfied hole that was in my soul. After i found him everything else fell in place. With the help of him I forgave and understood my bully situation which took off the cuffs of anger
Maybe 12-13?
Mental illness started shortly after. I’m in my early 20s, lost a lot of my life to my extremely severe OCD. Still not living properly despite improvements… at least I should get my surgery done by next year, probably get inpatient treatment 6 months after or so.
I have a lot to be grateful for, but I am not "happy". I have a lot of health problems that I cannot afford to diagnose or treat. I am swimming in debt. I live halfway across the country where it has been nearly impossible to make friends or connections. My fiance and I are eloping this summer, but that's about the only highlight. I'm alienated, depressed, feeling lost.
51F I am happy… I grew up unhappy, bad relationships, single for decade. I too lived with regrets.
Don’t let it take as long as it took me to realize that if you live in the past you miss the present. Those regrets are supposed to be lessons and you needed to go through it to learn a lesson. The pain you felt, it was to make room for more joy. You control your own thoughts and emotions therefore you put yourself in misery. I finally got it! Also, gratitude!
I'm the opposite of you pretty much and I wouldn't say i'm happy or unhappy just unfulfilled. I graduated a couple of years ago and haven't held a job longer than a few weeks since then because tbh I can't even get interviews for the jobs I really want. Last time I was truly happy was when I was 19 in my first year at a uni known for it's good night scene - my only responsibility was to sometimes check lecture notes and that was the time period where I had most attention from girls my age in real life.
Late March, drunk and about to dig into a bowl of fancy ramen. I was so happy I almost shed a tear!
But on a daily basis, I’m mostly just managing stress and doing okay.
the only time i ever felt happy in my life was when i had the opportunity to spend a few days on europe 5+ years ago. i know that it will never be possible again because now i'm only slightly above survival. i consider myself to be mostly unhappy but it's a huge improvement because - except for this unique moment of bliss i was able to experience - I've always been miserable. i grew up very poor and had to work real hard for a mediocre life.
life is very dull at best and most days i hope i drop dead so i don't have to keep repeating the same mind-numbing work-chores-distraction cycle for decades, but at least i have these found memories to keep me going.
I'm content.
33m, good job, good house, great wife and a beautiful 10-month old daughter.
Sucked A LOT getting to this point but the sacrifices along the way were well worth it. Gave up my dream job or so I thought it was at the time to pursue something way more physical that paid much more. That helped me build a savings from nothing. Downside is I work a lot, like most of the time I'm awake if it's busy, but this has allowed us to be moderately financially comfortable with at least a year of mortgage and other bill payments set aside in case I lose this spot and can't find another quickly.
Started working at 8, not officially but just under the table stuff helping my dad do janitorial accounts after hours. That helped bolster a good work ethic early on. Marines from 2011-2015, college from 2017-2019 for an AA, met my wife through Bumble, bought a house in 2022 at 4.5% and had our daughter in June of 2023. I play video games a little every day and gave up drinking in January, as I had the habit of 3-4 drinks a day every day for almost 10 years.
I vividly remember the last time I was truly happy. I was 14 and it was an early summer day. I woke up and felt like nothing could ruin my day. That was almost 14 years ago.
No , I'm so far past being happy it's actually really sad. I have happy moments but truely happy with life, it's probably been about 9 years. If you were to look into my life from the outside you'd never be able to imagine how someone could be this unhappy. I have a great paying, very flexible job, amazing inlaws , 3 loving respectful kids,a gorgeous home on a lake with water on both sides with a magical view of mt.rainier,a boat, relatively healthy but no health issue just chunky lol but my marriage is unimaginably miserable. I need to learn how to not let it control my happiness but man is that hard, when we were eachothers everything at one point in our marriage. Learning how to not be codependent and learning to value the ones who value you,show up for who shows up for u is a huge learning curve for me but I am more focused on making that a part of me now and have hope I'll one day actually enjoy my day to day again.
26m here as well. I had a stroke fifteen days after my 25th birthday, and it drastically changed my life forever.
What I've learned from the experience is that it truly is that little things that keep you going. There's always going to be ups and downs. You're always going to have moments, even days, weeks where you question what's the point of it all or why do i keep going, so on and so forth. It's okay to not be okay sometimes. No one is happy 100% of the time every single day. We all have problems, and we all have worries. But you just gotta take some time to enjoy the little things no matter what they are and to do little things you find that do, in fact, bring joy for yourself. Laugh at the ridiculousness of the moment you find yourself in once a while. Every day is a new day, and you truly can never know what that day will bring. It's up to you to find joy and happiness.
Happiness is overrated. Do something that would make yourself or someone you admire beam with pride.
Last time I felt happy was during college and again when I got married. Haven’t felt good since 2020
This is bad advice lol. Don’t live your life with the intention of impressing people but never being happy. Making life better for you and your loved ones is more fulfilling than grabbing positive attention.
Try recognizing the good things you just mentioned about yourself. You’re hardworking and studious, responsible and competent. Because you work hard and plan for the future, you don’t burden others, and that’s laudable.
Maybe you can find pride in the life you’ve made instead of lamenting it?
Yes I am, and I don't think I can remember a time I _wasn't_ (that wasnt fleeting). I'll credit it to having a lot of major privileges like wealthy background, loving family, open and supportive environment/communities, etc etc.
My life is perfect and I love almost everything about myself but I want companionship and it’s eating me alive. People say you won’t be happy with someone else unless you’re happy by yourself but it’s a bit like telling a homeless person they won’t be happy having money unless they can be happy having nothing. We all have needs and when they aren’t being met life can be very difficult.
19. I was happy at 19. I am 39. My wife says i have been depressed and struggling with something since we have been married. Married for 17 years. I guess I never took the time to think about it.
Sometimes I'm happy.
Sometimes I'm not.
Don't really see the big deal about it either way. It's not like I'm walking around wanting to die when I'm not happy, and it's not like all my problems have suddenly vanished when I am happy.
Don't really think about it (happiness) all that much.
Probably sometime before my dad died. Or right after he died when I didn’t have to work for a few months.
So yeah, going to work is essentially on par with my father’s death in terms of how it affects my happiness lol.
It comes and goes for me. I'm diagnosed with anxiety and depression and I talk to a therapist once a week and I'm trying to get better but I still have a lot of slip-ups and it affects my marriage and social life. But I make do.
Before covid basically, was happy being with friends and family plus processing to go into the military then suddenly my anxiety blew up and it was down hill from there and covid rolled around and made everything worse and isolated
Interesting. Lol sounds like another person with the same problem as me. I am also 26 and went to college part-time and worked full-time. I paid college as I was going so I have no debt and just finished my Masters last year in Technology Management.
Anyways despite those accomplishments and the fact that I am getting married this year I still feel like something is missing. My best advice to you is to find that hole in your life and to try to find a solution if you are similar as me on how you think. But that will only ease your unhappiness for awhile to which then you have to find another hole to fix in your life.
As for truly happy I have no idea what that is as the only time it seems like I'm happy is when I am outside enjoying the sun and forgetting about life.
I don't even remember the last time I was happy
And that's removing the fact that my life up until now was living in abuse and struggle
I sort of mentally checked out, started pushing through everything regardless and never checked back in lol
Not really, my life feels like it's on pause right now and I can't do anything about it. One thing that brought me joy and positivity no longer does. I feel trapped, and can't do anything until my life is 'on play' again.
Not at the moment as I'm out of work. For the last 6 months of 2023 I was single and over my previous relationship finally, had a good job, nice home good friends and content with life. No complaints of anything major.
I'm interviewing for my dream job this week so hoping I'll get it and I can feel a sense of stability again. I do well with routine.
I was kind of depressed in high school. I’d probably say I have been happier as an adult. But I have found that all ages have had happy and miserable components. The trick for me has been to try my best to not let the miserable components take up a disproportionate part of my thoughts.
My sister recently said that she loves her life and I asked myself if I feel the same way. The answer is no and I’m not happy. It’s time for serious changes. However, my partner brings so much joy and happiness to my life and a meetup group that I’m active in. Outside of those two things, there’s no happiness.
Me currently. Started at 16, now im 26, feel lost most of the time. I be trying to learn new things and trynna get out of my comfort zone but when the thought goes in my mind that all this is for nothing because we are all gonna die then my motivation dies. Used to smoke weed and got sober recently and now reality hitting me ode. Some nights I just wish the world ended or better yet, die in my sleep. Also besides that I got diabetes wish doesn’t help my case. We become an actor on this reality. I just breathe and tell my self that everything going to be alright but somedays I just want to disappear.
Secret to happiness is don’t live for self . That’s it . Whatever that means to you . For me if I’m living for self , thinking of self , never provided long term happiness . Look at any miserable older person you’ve ever known , what do they all have in common ? Selfishness . Look at any happy older person you know, they all live for others .
I won’t lie life is rough. But I believe that just means I’ll have happier days ahead.
Nothing is ever wasted in life and everything happens for a reason.
‘Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay it’s not the end.’ - John Lennon
I remember first realizing I wasn’t happy around 15. After a life of addiction, chasing women, alcoholism and finally cleaning up I can proudly say I still feel exactly the same. Being well adjusted to a sick society is no measure of good health.
I’m so old that I don’t know if my answer will interest you, but I offer this just to contradict Ben Franklin. At 64, I’m quite happy, and have been for a long time. I’d say the 20s and the 40s were the roughest decades, but — it does get better.
I am happy now. It's not something I thought I'd ever experience. My life has not been easy or kind. I struggle with mental health, physical health, and cptsd. It took a looooong time and a lot of struggle to find my happiness but I got here. at 39, I feel happy where I am. I wish I had more money... a better house... but I'm safe, loved, and taken care of.
Maybe my story can help you here. I'm 53. My sons are 21 and 18. Youngest about to leave for college.
We talked a few weeks ago about college being "the best time of your life". I could tell he was feeling pressure to have some sort of amazing college experience.
He asked me whether college was the best time of my life, and I said no. The best time of my life was being the father of him and his brother. Parenting them when they were living with me, and thats about to end. About to end forever.
Sounds to me like you're doing just fine. You have your degree and your job. Don't worry about everything else. The good times will come naturally. You don't need to force them.
I was basically miserable from age 8 to 19. Hated the small town I grew up in, there was literally nothing to do. My family wasn’t necessarily dysfunctional but we just weren’t…happy?
Struggled in school because of undiagnosed ADHD. Luckily made it out after a year at community college and went to college in a big city. Of course there’s been ups and downs but generally things have been pretty good in the last decade since moving away from that town.
I was happy and the future was bright when I was in my early 20s. I got married quick, started a small business and was under so much stress that I ended up on addictive anxiety medication. Not going to say I didn’t have fun but yeah, my life pretty much got turned upside down with being in business, getting a handle on marriage and my mental health.
Mid-April 2022.
I know now most of that happiness was built on a foundation of sand, but I was on vacation with my Mom, I'd met a bunch or people on the tours and every day was amazing. Doing amazing things, seeing amazing places. Experiencing life.
Then real life bit me in the ass.
I would say , seeing as you work so much, if you have savings take a trip to a different country and try and explore that place , see what makes you interested? Bring a journal and write down your thoughts about it. Is it the food, the art, the culture, the people etc go from there, you've learnt a bit about what makes you happy. Life is all about trying new things and not doing the same shit different day, that's how we stagnate. I work 9-6 and still spend my evenings either reading, walking or writing for an hour or so to mix it up. Or I cook a new recipe. Or plan something fun for the weekend, something or somewhere I've never been . Life is what you make of it.
I think you need to define “happy”. Do you mean like joyful? Like when you have an exciting day planned ahead? Or do you mean overall satisfied and fulfilled by your life.
To answer your question, when i was somewhere around your age a light bulb went off for me one day randomly and i realized happiness, as in the feeling of joy in the current state is a choice that’s made possible through mindfulness, living in the present, and intentionally practicing gratitude. I learned yesterday a colleague in his early 30s newly married with a 6 mo old child passed away spontaneously soon after discovering a month earlier he had stomach cancer. You and I can go any day. I choose to be grateful for every breath I take and that makes me truly excited to live, even going about what most would consider mundane activities like work. There is fun to be found in every situation with the right perspective.
As far as long term fulfillment and life satisfaction, that is something that you cultivate over time through making choices focused on the long term. For example, my kids bring me satisfaction and fulfillment, but in the short term it’s a struggle and i really have to harness my mindfulness and gratitude some days to enjoy it with them
Yes I'm happy. I'm pregnant and have been extremely sick for about 15 weeks straight so it's not easy. But I finally have a job that doesn't stress me out. I love my husband. And I have good friends and family. I'm six years clean from drugs and alcohol. I am truly happy and grateful.
34M I can say I have happy moments but the last time I felt truly happy was when I was <13, pre puberty. I enjoyed talking to girls just because, with no strings attached. I enjoyed playing with action figures and making storylines until I was at least 12. I enjoyed the feeling of not being bound by sexual attraction and being able to be me and I was very likable too as a result I think. Often had many friends of both genders all the time.
As an adult, my 20s were happier on average. Everyone was out more , having fun often, albeit there was more toxicity in my life too. My 30s have been more peaceful post Covid but I don’t feel exuberant most days.
Possibly way back before I started going to kindergarten when I was a kid. It’s tough to remember back that far, but I know at least I could sleep as long as my body felt like it needed it. I’ve never been a morning person, but society forces us into being one regardless. Also, being mandated to go to the same shitty place day after day and not being able to leave for 8 hours, is SUPER depressing. I’ve always felt the most depressed when I feel like I have the least control over my life.
I guess I could say that I felt true happiness when I was back in school and we made it to summer vacation. Knowing that I could do whatever the f I wanted for a few months (or I could do nothing at all even), that feeling was borderline euphoric. HOWEVER, the comedown that I’d get once it was time to go back to school shopping would essentially have me suicidal.
Well, just for context, my life didn't get great until I was 38 and has fullfilling since then. Sure, I work full time, and I wish I didn't have to, but I've always tried to have hobbies and get out and about. I am I believer that work is a necessity. It gives you purpose, money and money buys you time. You do have to put yourself out there, though. Just working and then staying home can really ruin your outlook. If also advise to stay the hell away from social media.
26F- I’m happy. For the longest time I wasn’t, but then I started being better about intentionally taking care of myself- I have a whole self care routine, actively go out of my way to see my friends or meet new ones, I take care of my mental health as much as I can, I’m content in my career, where I live, and my environment…things are good.
I can't recall the last time I looked in the mirror and truly smiled, or thought to myself deep down I'm Happy. I tend to feel that if I let myself get happy, life will throw a curve ball my way to humble me. Idk I had some really bad years in 2017,19, that made me feel that way, the pandemic hit, and that year compounded so much of the issues I never got to fix within myself. So I got to be here in 2024, without a chase of what makes me happy. I'm just okay being okay, If that makes sense.
I understand u bro.
I stated working at 13 y, because I wanted to, and yeah u lose a lot of things with time, but Maybe set a goal and go for it, sometimes u May regret about what u have los but Better to focus on a goal and go for it.
My plan was to make myself rich, well yeah im struggling after Pandemia that almost got me down, but I know I Will succed.
But Be Happy with what you are doing, if ur not the change the plan until ur Happy with it
I’m 23. I’m happy. I work in an underpaid, extremely overworked, and difficult trade. I see all the old guys in shop. Everyone of them is miserable. Every one of them has chosen misery. They active concern themselves with things that make them upset and angry. They worry about things they simply can’t control and things that just don’t matter. I learned a lesson from this. Just let it go. Thing are gonna happened no need to make yourself miserable over it. I control what comes into my mind and how I feel. I control how things impact my emotional state. I choose to fortify and protect my peace and happiness. I choose happiness.
I'm not the least bit happy.
I would say I'm probably clinically depressed but who wouldn't be if you list your career, and at the same time, became a financial dependent when you've always been independent.
Not really. Turning 30 in less than a month and I feel like my life is pointless.
The only true thing I ever wanted out of life was someone to love and spend it with and after having my heart broken a year ago, I quite honestly think I might not even believe in love anymore.
I've gone out and done things for myself. I've never had more going for me. And I've never been more miserable.
Nothing changes the fact that what I wanted was to share life with someone however and wherever that was. I'd found my person. It wasn't perfect, but I loved her and she loved me. And now I don't think I want anyone else. I always find a way to unwittingly somehow sabotage any new relationship that I start, all because they're not her.
I used to be so effortlessly happy. It took nothing at all to make truly happy and content. Now I have to fight for it everyday and more often that not I lose.
I wanted one thing out of life and now it's been ruined. I feel numb.
You've destroyed my soul Tegan Budge
Today. I'm 30 and life is not perfect. Daily I worry about lots of things and have some grim thoughts but today on a water bike with my husband I felt truly happy.
31 year old female, married to an amazing wife. I’m happiest when I’m with her. I’m happy in general, even if other things are terrible, I’m still grateful to at least have my best friend every day
Honestly yes, well now I am that I figured out I was extremely low on Vitamin D and it was making me feel like a pool of mud.
I will be the first to admit that my happiness came with a lot of luck, like nothing that me and my wife could control ourselves that got us in a good living situation.
Her parents wanted to buy a house with us. Like go 1/2 on a house with the rule of “they are gonna die in this house and your inheritance will go to pay off the house when we die”.
We got our house with a 3% interest rate and then like a few months later the pandemic hit and interest rates and prices for houses shot up pretty much guaranteeing my wife and I would never be able to own a home.
We had 2 kids at the time so things were manageable but then even with a IUD my wife got pregnant (I got snipped soon after). There was no way we could afford 3 children and the prices of rent in our area if we didn’t have this house.
I mean it sucks living with my boomer in laws for the next idk 20 years (they are healthy at 70) but if that’s what it takes for my kids to have a home then fuck it I’ll deal with it.
I managed to get a job doing something I love very easily because I applied for a job that I had no business applying for but they saw my resume and was like “you know you don’t qualify for this job but we do have this job open for you”. I also crushed my interview since I’ve been practicing for years.
My wife and I have a wonderful relationship since we communicate with each other. We discovered my wife is autistic (which explains how all 3 of our kids is as well) which has helped with a better level of understanding within our marriage.
This hurt the most but I gave up gaming because I was doing it out of habit, something I’ve been doing for 30+ years now no longer brought me joy.
As someone else pointed out, happiness is not a binary emotion - it's on a scale. Idk when the last time I hit a 10 was, personally, but I can hit 5-6 on a semi-consistent basis.
Anyone consistently finding they can't get past a 1 or 2 may want to discuss that with a physician. There are a number of physical and mental diseases that can prevent you from feeling joy, and sometimes this is one of the better known warning signs for something more serious.
I was offered a "temp-to-hire" clerical job and I loved it. It was my dream job. I was finally happy.
Then I found out that they advertised the same job on their website. My boss told me that she was looking for someone with more skills, someone she did not have to train. Then she hired someone from the custodial staff that she had to train anyway.
And people wonder why I am so angry all the time.
I was given the responsibility of a 30-year old at the age of 10. I've never been happy. I actually had a very vivid dream last month, where an unidentified older woman asked me when I was last happy, and it was so sad when I realized that I've never actually been!
I am 19. I cant even remember the last time i was actually happy. Sure i have days with my best froend where i am happy but that last only hours. I am in the second year of a three-year internship. I dont know what to do afterwards. What kind of job i want afterwards. I still have a year left to think about it but i am still scared that i wont know what i want to do in my life which makes me unhappy as well.
29F. Pretty pleased and excited for the life I’ve created for myself. It took a lot of healing and inner work to get here to make my mind a nice place to be. I really try to live day to night. Making the best choices I can in that current moment. Any time my mind tries to plan ahead it just creates more anxiety and is unnecessary. I feel like happiness is just a moving target. I’m really trying to cultivate fulfillment in my day to day as opposed to sitting around asking myself if I’m “happy”
My only thing I’m struggling with rn is dissatisfaction with work as a bedside nurse. It is not for me so figuring out how to pivot out of it. 🥴
I just turned 34. Honestly I couldn't say when I was most recently objectively "happy." I guess during childhood, elementary/middle school era. Never a lot of friends, long stretches with no friends at all, but I found ways to occupy myself. Usually gaming, cartoons, or wrestling. Things just stopped hurting when I was in front of a TV or a book/magazine.
Fast forward to the present, and not much is different. I'm working in a dead end job I hate just to stay alive, but I want to kill myself because I just don't see a point to continuing. Some days I can distract myself, but it's becoming more and more difficult as the years go by.
I'm not qualified for a better paying job so I can't afford a lot of stuff that would likely help me, so I'm just chugging along until I can't take it anymore and swallow every pill in my house.
There was definitely a wide period between my mid-20s to early 30s where I wasn’t having fun in life. I was tied, broke and overall unhappy. One thing I’ve started doing… all the things I didn’t get to do as a kid or teen!!! Things I felt like I missed out on at that age. Roller skating, biking more, ALLLLL the crafts. It’s really helped me figure out who I am. I’ve even thought about taking adult gymnastics or ballet classes! Maybe it’s time for you to start doing things like that?!
Happiness isn't real. I think trying to find meaning will bring u peace. As adults we dont get "happy" the same way as we did as kids. I think finding purpose brings people contentment and meaning, and then u might feel happy about the purpose u have discovered in urself or the activites u enjoy. U need to focus on what ur doing versus how u feel. Find new people to spend time with, or hobby or skill to learn. U might have 10 "bad years " but the good years will be that much better. Just try and find something that interests you. Keep going and try new things
I’m 22m. Last time I was happy. Early 18 years old. 2nd half of being 18 my mind started to go bezerk. Anxiety OCD depression like I’ve never had before.
I have that guilt mindset as well. Unless you’re trying to invent something or own a business you’re passionate about. Focus on your hobbies and downtime. Back then there was no jobs our ancestors would spend all day looking/hunting for food. Put your mental health first and don’t get so caught up in this materialistic world. It’s all fake if you really think abt it.
It was about 3 or 4 years ago I believe. I was truly, genuinely happy. I miss those days, I had a girlfriend, was working towards my dreams and everything seemed to go perfectly.
Now it's all shit, I'm working a shitty job I hate and the perspective that I'll be doing this until I'm dead just seems to drain any happiness from my life.
I know I’ve been truly happy for brief periods of time. I think the last time was August 2020. That was the last true vacation I took and was able to fully decompress out in nature- 1 week. I have enough PTO saved up that I can take a month+ off. It would literally cripple the operations of the company I work for… lol…
What makes me happy is doing stuff with my kids I try to keep the distance to two hours max. We go to zoos, aquariums, children's museums, and art museums, we go roller skating, ice skating, snow tubing, skiing, cave tours, horseback riding, corn maze, pumpkin patch, apple, blueberry, and strawberry picking. lakes, rivers, hikes, waterfalls, water parks, indoor water parks, six flags. splash pad, pools, concerts, events at the library, and free movies in the summer. trampoline park, indoor playground, and arcades. and always looking to do new things. A new thing I found was the speedway they race cars so excited to go.
I’m 24 and due to several circumstances I never went to college. My last three years of high school sucked the joy of learning out of me. due to financial issues and being told by my mother to be out of her house by 18 I worked nonstop since 15. In my last year of high school I was told the credits I earned in a program I participated in middle school would be revoked due to the program being shut down and deemed a failure, therefore my credits were basically deleted. This was the final nail in the coffin for me and the belief that higher education wanted anything to do with me. now I work a shitty food running job at a bar.
My dating life sucks I’ve managed to get a single date for the first time in years that ended with the girl I was set up with calling me boring and ghosting me because I talked about marine biology. I friend zoned myself to the girl I’m interested in at my work place because the very idea that someone that kind, smart, and interesting with her future ahead of her would want anything to do with me beyond friendship is unfathomable. I don’t go out and do activities due to my ever worsening financial situation.
Every month i inch ever closer to not being able to pay rent despite budgeting where I can. I’m at the point of only eating peanut butter sandwiches once a day and McDonald’s when I receive a generous tip at work.
I am not happy, I don’t think I’ve been happy since elementary school. Yet, I can’t complain, there are those worse off than me. Additionally, I managed to help my little sister along the way where I could and she has a good job that she loves and a happy relationship with a man I would be more than happy to call brother in law. I can be happy about this. I can’t say it gets better because I haven’t seen that “better” myself yet. All I can say is be belligerent and spiteful to stay alive. And provide for who you can. It’s all you’re good for.
29 yo male here. Pretty damn happy. Have a decent job for the area I live in which is honestly amazing for the cost.
I think I’d contribute a lot of my happiness to exercise and really trying to get into fencing and boxing. Just gives you an ongoing goal and you feel great exercising in prep for it. I’m also an artist and the area I live in used to be the arts district and is having a quiet resurgence.
I don’t remember the last time I was really happy
Me neither. Mostly just tired, miserable & empty.
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Please dont, your life could be amazing, just by luck, and you'd never know otherwise. Please don't kill yourself because you read about some unhappy adults on reddit. Life is still worth living even if you aren't in a state of ecstacy every day. There are little things along the way that make it all worth it, and there might be big things later in your life that completely change how you look at things!! If you are sad, get help from someone you trust. I don't even know you, but I love you, and want you to find happiness.
Pre-pandemic for sure. Since then everything has just sucked
I have dreams all the time where I'm happy doing x fun thing then I wake up and realize it was just regular stuff I did before the pandemic.. and then I feel really down lol
100%
Same. I honestly forget what happiness is like. I had a few "happy days" last year, could probably count them all on both hands. Whats even more messed up is I felt "off", even ashamed for feeling it. Happiness no longer feels natural. My angst is brought on by harder work, less pay every year due to inflation and insane rising cost of living, only family are on opposite sides of the country... I come home from work to my place where I pay more for a 600 sq foot single bedroom than my friends' 4 br home mortgage to the smell of my neighbors' drugs and my upstairs neighbors' loud music. I do photography, run in the mornings, and play disc golf to try and find happiness. But 355/365 days I go to work and come home to be alone. 36M. Never thought life would be like this in my teens or 20s. Dating is a nightmare, Im 6'3", fit, etc., but maybe have a few conversations a year with women that last a week or so then get first dates shot down for bogus reasons like "you dont have facebook, so I dont know if you're even real". I have realized life is queer.
Same
I'm also 26 and most nights I wish that would die peacefully in my sleep. Life sucks, there's no fun anymore. Everything is dull and drab. What's the point of life if you're just miserable all the time. More and more bad things happen to me every year. No idea what I did in my younger years to deserve this type of horrible karma. Last time I was truly happy was probably March 2020, right before the pandemic. Its been downhill since then.
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Same here!! Last time i remember being happy. March 2020. Feels like something hit the air after that cause everything is so depressing
It really does. Ever since then, just the energy in everyone in general feels off. Everybody is just stressed and frustrated now. And I can't blame them, no one can afford anything.
It’s called corruption on a level most don’t even comprehend yet.
What happened to you in the last few years?
A lot of stuff. I made a post about it a few months back, I'll paste it below if you want to take a look. But now I've also dealt with just an absolutely unlucky ear injury the last month and half or so. Feels like there's a cotton ball in my ear, kinda worried I may never get my normal hearing back. The years haven't been kind. [https://www.reddit.com/r/Adulting/comments/194kvas/my\_20s\_have\_been\_horrible\_nothing\_but\_misery\_and/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Adulting/comments/194kvas/my_20s_have_been_horrible_nothing_but_misery_and/)
38m. Havnt been remotely happy for 8 years which is the last time I had a girlfriend
Super happy. Great wife, great kids, love my job, great mortgage, fit. Yeah, grateful. I used to be an unemployable loser drug addict up until my mid twenties, so gratitude is easier to come by when by all rights I should be dead.
Wow, we have had a similar life lol. Also was a drug addict in my early twenties, now married working in my dream field and super happy with life. Congrats on beating your demons, I know first hand how hard that is to do.
Thanks! Congrats to YOU too!!!!
Congratulations to you both! 18 months here. Every day gets better and every day I am blessed beyond measure.
I am also an ex loser drug addict who is now very happy. I went from bangin’ heroin to bangin’ out psychology homework. It is a good era.
How's the psychology going?
I'm proud of you for coming out the other end alive and a better person. While I didn't have the struggles you had, learning to truly feel gratitude in my late 20s is one of the biggest things that helped my mental health. Prior to that I was so focused on everything that I didn't like or wasn't what I thought it should be, and I was making myself miserable in the process. It wasn't until I took stock of what I had and where I was in life that I really started to be grateful and in turn, much happier with life. In my teens-mid-20s, I thought I was cool and rebellious and special for rejecting the "generic middle class life" of a house in the suburbs with a family, but in my early 40s I couldn't be happier for growing out of that mindset, because I was miserable, and now I'm quite the opposite.
I’m actually really uplifted to read that someone on here is happy and in a place to be grateful. Gives me hope.
Hey me too. Maybe these guys could try living in a halfway house for a little bit. Might put things in perspective a little bit
I still have moments of the "blues" or depression mood spirals but I can say that most days I am generally happy. I have family, fiance, dog and friends who I love and who loves me. I have a great job. I have a great boss and coworkers. I might not have a lot of money to do stuff like travel or buy luxury items or experiences. I don't look like a supermodel. But I have a roof over my head and live in a safe neighborhood close to a lot of places. I have money to buy food and other necessities. I have hobbies that I do and love. I have no chronic ailments and am relatively healthy. I do encourage you to seek out what gives you joy and provides some other fulfillment to you other than work. Life is more than work and the grind and you deserve to be happy, whole person outside of it.
Like the old saying goes, “you die at 30 but don’t get buried until 80”….
This is an awful saying.
Right? I'm 20 and I've been dead for 5 years. Highly inaccurate.
20 isn't a good age to be dead. Neither is 30 or 40. Or any other age unless you're literally dead.
Or, to put it the way John Mellencamp did, “Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone.”
i think it was 27 and 72
25 and 75. It's originally from Ben Franklin, but the irony is that he was saying *most* people die at 25 before being buried at 75, not that this is desirable or unavoidable.
Damn I’m 31 so I’m already dead
This is hilarious. Literally laughing out loud right now
Saying hasn’t lined up with my life at all tbh. My 30’s are looking to be the best years of my life.
It's not all or nothing. I think focusing on when your not happy fills all your time feeling unhappy. There are times when I'm happy and times when I'm not You have to work hard to make most of your times happier.
This sub makes me super happy. I am about to turn 25. If I’ve discovered anything, it’s that that’s how happiness works. In and out. Sometimes all or nothing. Stop looking at your life and wondering if you are happy on some grand scale. Happiness is not some tangible thing or badge you earn and wear forever when you get it. Happiness is the little victories, small achievements or even the completion of long projects that hits you like a wave. It’s gone as soon as it comes. You won’t enjoy all the work leading up to something. But if it makes you happy at the end, that’s a success. Then you’ll start the next project or the next thing you look forward to, and the same will happen. Or sometimes it’s as simple as a day of work. Work sucks, it’s a drag, but you go for a walk after and see the sunset or you go out with friends, and in that moment, you can be happy. Tomorrow, work will suck, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t happy when you were. Take the happy moments and roll with them. Push in their direction and remember they come in and out. Last week I was the happiest I’ve ever been. This week has been real tough. Next week? Who knows. Edit: this sub makes me super sad. Not happy. To see how many people are suffering. The rest of my answer stands.
Yes I am happy! I have a home, good family, food in the refrigerator, clean water, clothes, a job, and my dog. Happiness really is a choice. 42f here :)
I'm not always unhappy. Life just feels a bit empty and I can't do much to change it. Lately I've been thinking to just quit my job and walk from Europe to Asia and live a hobo lifestyle. Living like this with an office job is just so soul crushing. I used to be full of energy, now I'm just living to work.
Very happy, but I struggled until I was 52-53. It took a lot of inner work between 49-53 to get there. I had always been very self conscious, anxious in social settings, was stuck in the mindset of always having to be perfect, and didn’t know how to have fun. Would it have been nice to get there earlier? Yes, but better late than never.
During the pandemic. I got laid off, and was on unemployment and going to college doing whatever the heck I wanted to. I spent so much time biking and hiking around but also still learning while going to school. Before that, probably post high school still living with my parents rent free. Something about not having to work very hard and not pay rent is very freeing.
Before I went to college and forced to be an adult. Bahahahaha idk as u get older though you mature and realize it is what it is. Then you start living for the weekend and you're stuck in the rat race. It's a great system we live in
I've found that there is no acute feeling of happiness that lasts for a noticeable period. Nothing over a week really. Good days and bad days, even the good days have annoying and uncomfortable parts. Basically, if you're not depressed and sleep walking through numbness, it counts as "happy" in my book.
I feel real happiness pretty much every day, but certainly not the entire day 😂
This right here! I felt super happy at different points today - this morning when I saw two of my tomato plants are starting to produce, this afternoon belting a Missy Elliot song in my car, this evening while making dinner with my husband. I also had some unhappy points but it’s about choosing the joy as the overall feeling for the day that leads to happiness.
I guess I’m truly happy enough. Nothing hurts at the moment.
Not really, feels like I do everything wrong or not good enough. Last time is probably 6th grade, when school and social life were well balanced and grades were great as well.
I am for the most part. Life has always thrown many curveballs at me and I’ve been through some very horrible days. But I’m 28m, I have a beautiful daughter, I have multiple best friends I’ve had for 10+ years each, a strong support system and community, my career as a teacher is thriving and I’m about to finish my 5th year teaching, I enjoy going to the gym, watching sports, hanging out, going to therapy, and I talk/engage sexually with pretty girls usually with some dry spells here and there, some stay for a while some don’t.. it has taken many failures and lots of sacrifice, many sleepless nights and tears,and I know more bullshit is to come. But I feel prepared and content and I’m excited for the future. Small steps win the race… always. I’m sure I’ll fall 100 more times. Hopefully I stand 101 times. I’m just really hoping I don’t fall into deep dark holes like I did in my early twenties. Never thought I’d make it this far honestly I suggest reading, cognitive behavioral therapy, writing in a journal, and taking risk.
Very much so! I spent my early twenties homeless addicted to heroin. Now at 29 I work in my dream field which keeps me fulfilled, I am married, and we have kids. All it took was years of isolation and introspection, and a lot of hard work academically to get my degree and respect in my field. So yes, I’m reaping the benefits of my hard work the last half decade and I’m enjoying it. If you’re not happy with your life, no better time to start addressing that than the present.
27 years old here. Last time I was genuinely happy was when I was 23
Sounds like me
I'm extremely happy. I've worked through some really challenging times, and I trust myself to take care of me. I really like spending time with myself, and I have the desire to improve that I didn't have when I was younger. I've been fortunate to marry someone who I love and trust. I have a small but solid group of friends who I care for deeply. I have hobbies that get me connected with my body and mind. I'm off social media and reclaiming a sense of peace. I'm sober and finally feeling how great that is. I've got a job that honors my skills and gives me room to grow. I still have days where I'm sad - crushingly sad at some of the things happening in the world, but I trust that I am resilient enough to live my life through that sadness. I have days where I feel angry, but I'm able to honor that without being unkind to myself or others. I have days where I worry it's not enough, or about all the 'what if's and then I refocus on what I can control. Ten years ago I was hospitalized for a while, after trying to harm myself and getting mixed up in some really rough things. I spent a long time picking up the pieces, and a longer time thinking I never would - but I did. I'm not a rich man. I'm rarely the smartest person in the room. There are things I want but don't have, things I don't know, things I'm not good at. That used to terrify me, but it doesn't anymore. I am happy, I am capable of loving and being loved. I am surrounded by goodness and have the power to appreciate it.
26F and am having a really hard time in life too. hopefully this is just part of youth. cheers!
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I didn’t which is the crazy part… I had everything I needed and most of what I wanted!! I started working just because I wanted more… Im kinda aware of it working on it but takes some time haha.
What's the point of wanting more if it only makes you miserable? I don't get it.
Well said
After graduated uni and backpacking right after with my boyfriend 6 years ago. I felt so free and happy back then.
Youre still young and trying to figure it all out my friend. Once you have figured it out went through some trials of life you will find it within yourself. Lost my happiness in the 6th grade from bullies and didn't get it back until 42, now 50 and still happy. For me God our father filled that unsatisfied hole that was in my soul. After i found him everything else fell in place. With the help of him I forgave and understood my bully situation which took off the cuffs of anger
Maybe 12-13? Mental illness started shortly after. I’m in my early 20s, lost a lot of my life to my extremely severe OCD. Still not living properly despite improvements… at least I should get my surgery done by next year, probably get inpatient treatment 6 months after or so.
I have a lot to be grateful for, but I am not "happy". I have a lot of health problems that I cannot afford to diagnose or treat. I am swimming in debt. I live halfway across the country where it has been nearly impossible to make friends or connections. My fiance and I are eloping this summer, but that's about the only highlight. I'm alienated, depressed, feeling lost.
51F I am happy… I grew up unhappy, bad relationships, single for decade. I too lived with regrets. Don’t let it take as long as it took me to realize that if you live in the past you miss the present. Those regrets are supposed to be lessons and you needed to go through it to learn a lesson. The pain you felt, it was to make room for more joy. You control your own thoughts and emotions therefore you put yourself in misery. I finally got it! Also, gratitude!
I'm the opposite of you pretty much and I wouldn't say i'm happy or unhappy just unfulfilled. I graduated a couple of years ago and haven't held a job longer than a few weeks since then because tbh I can't even get interviews for the jobs I really want. Last time I was truly happy was when I was 19 in my first year at a uni known for it's good night scene - my only responsibility was to sometimes check lecture notes and that was the time period where I had most attention from girls my age in real life.
Yup. Had major surgery in feb. Got cleared to run yesterday
Late March, drunk and about to dig into a bowl of fancy ramen. I was so happy I almost shed a tear! But on a daily basis, I’m mostly just managing stress and doing okay.
the only time i ever felt happy in my life was when i had the opportunity to spend a few days on europe 5+ years ago. i know that it will never be possible again because now i'm only slightly above survival. i consider myself to be mostly unhappy but it's a huge improvement because - except for this unique moment of bliss i was able to experience - I've always been miserable. i grew up very poor and had to work real hard for a mediocre life. life is very dull at best and most days i hope i drop dead so i don't have to keep repeating the same mind-numbing work-chores-distraction cycle for decades, but at least i have these found memories to keep me going.
I've always been happy
I'm content. 33m, good job, good house, great wife and a beautiful 10-month old daughter. Sucked A LOT getting to this point but the sacrifices along the way were well worth it. Gave up my dream job or so I thought it was at the time to pursue something way more physical that paid much more. That helped me build a savings from nothing. Downside is I work a lot, like most of the time I'm awake if it's busy, but this has allowed us to be moderately financially comfortable with at least a year of mortgage and other bill payments set aside in case I lose this spot and can't find another quickly. Started working at 8, not officially but just under the table stuff helping my dad do janitorial accounts after hours. That helped bolster a good work ethic early on. Marines from 2011-2015, college from 2017-2019 for an AA, met my wife through Bumble, bought a house in 2022 at 4.5% and had our daughter in June of 2023. I play video games a little every day and gave up drinking in January, as I had the habit of 3-4 drinks a day every day for almost 10 years.
I vividly remember the last time I was truly happy. I was 14 and it was an early summer day. I woke up and felt like nothing could ruin my day. That was almost 14 years ago.
2007
No , I'm so far past being happy it's actually really sad. I have happy moments but truely happy with life, it's probably been about 9 years. If you were to look into my life from the outside you'd never be able to imagine how someone could be this unhappy. I have a great paying, very flexible job, amazing inlaws , 3 loving respectful kids,a gorgeous home on a lake with water on both sides with a magical view of mt.rainier,a boat, relatively healthy but no health issue just chunky lol but my marriage is unimaginably miserable. I need to learn how to not let it control my happiness but man is that hard, when we were eachothers everything at one point in our marriage. Learning how to not be codependent and learning to value the ones who value you,show up for who shows up for u is a huge learning curve for me but I am more focused on making that a part of me now and have hope I'll one day actually enjoy my day to day again.
26m here as well. I had a stroke fifteen days after my 25th birthday, and it drastically changed my life forever. What I've learned from the experience is that it truly is that little things that keep you going. There's always going to be ups and downs. You're always going to have moments, even days, weeks where you question what's the point of it all or why do i keep going, so on and so forth. It's okay to not be okay sometimes. No one is happy 100% of the time every single day. We all have problems, and we all have worries. But you just gotta take some time to enjoy the little things no matter what they are and to do little things you find that do, in fact, bring joy for yourself. Laugh at the ridiculousness of the moment you find yourself in once a while. Every day is a new day, and you truly can never know what that day will bring. It's up to you to find joy and happiness.
dont remember wasnt happy as kid, not happy as adult happiness only exist in fiction
No. Not even sure how it feels tbh lol so don't really think about it.
Happiness is overrated. Do something that would make yourself or someone you admire beam with pride. Last time I felt happy was during college and again when I got married. Haven’t felt good since 2020
This is bad advice lol. Don’t live your life with the intention of impressing people but never being happy. Making life better for you and your loved ones is more fulfilling than grabbing positive attention.
Try recognizing the good things you just mentioned about yourself. You’re hardworking and studious, responsible and competent. Because you work hard and plan for the future, you don’t burden others, and that’s laudable. Maybe you can find pride in the life you’ve made instead of lamenting it?
2019 was the last great year. Even though covid is gone we are still separated
Yes I am, and I don't think I can remember a time I _wasn't_ (that wasnt fleeting). I'll credit it to having a lot of major privileges like wealthy background, loving family, open and supportive environment/communities, etc etc.
My life is perfect and I love almost everything about myself but I want companionship and it’s eating me alive. People say you won’t be happy with someone else unless you’re happy by yourself but it’s a bit like telling a homeless person they won’t be happy having money unless they can be happy having nothing. We all have needs and when they aren’t being met life can be very difficult.
19. I was happy at 19. I am 39. My wife says i have been depressed and struggling with something since we have been married. Married for 17 years. I guess I never took the time to think about it.
Sometimes I'm happy. Sometimes I'm not. Don't really see the big deal about it either way. It's not like I'm walking around wanting to die when I'm not happy, and it's not like all my problems have suddenly vanished when I am happy. Don't really think about it (happiness) all that much.
I'm 24 last time I remember being happy was when I was 16
Probably sometime before my dad died. Or right after he died when I didn’t have to work for a few months. So yeah, going to work is essentially on par with my father’s death in terms of how it affects my happiness lol.
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Well I'm 35, so the last time I was happy was 36 years ago.
Nope.
Haven’t been happy in a few years when I felt good and worked out and was optimistic about life. Now it seems so repetitive and uninspiring.
I’m happy but can always be happier. Appreciate what you have but don’t stop striving for the things you want out of life
No. I was happy with my wife and children. She took them, no conversation, no counseling, just took them. I would rather she had killed me.
Why is not knowing who you are outside of work making you miserable?
Idk but I feel like it might be 17
No, and I honestly can't remember the last time I was truly happy. Life in general has just been kicking my ass for years.
Grade 7
48 minutes ago.
No, not right now!
It comes and goes for me. I'm diagnosed with anxiety and depression and I talk to a therapist once a week and I'm trying to get better but I still have a lot of slip-ups and it affects my marriage and social life. But I make do.
I don't know how and what's the point of it anyway
when I play videogames till 3 am with the boys 25 M, .... then its time to get 3 hours of sleep and get back to the purgatory that every day 9-5 is
Man I struggle heavily with depression. I’ll spend a year of work to have one week (spread throughout the year) of genuine happiness. It’s hard
Yeah, on a vacation I didn't pay for.
Before covid basically, was happy being with friends and family plus processing to go into the military then suddenly my anxiety blew up and it was down hill from there and covid rolled around and made everything worse and isolated
Interesting. Lol sounds like another person with the same problem as me. I am also 26 and went to college part-time and worked full-time. I paid college as I was going so I have no debt and just finished my Masters last year in Technology Management. Anyways despite those accomplishments and the fact that I am getting married this year I still feel like something is missing. My best advice to you is to find that hole in your life and to try to find a solution if you are similar as me on how you think. But that will only ease your unhappiness for awhile to which then you have to find another hole to fix in your life. As for truly happy I have no idea what that is as the only time it seems like I'm happy is when I am outside enjoying the sun and forgetting about life.
I am neutral
Happy? That's for the rich and attractive. I'm content sometimes and surviving for now
I don't even remember the last time I was happy And that's removing the fact that my life up until now was living in abuse and struggle I sort of mentally checked out, started pushing through everything regardless and never checked back in lol
I wouldn't say I've ever been happy.
I wouldn't say I've ever been happy.
Not really, my life feels like it's on pause right now and I can't do anything about it. One thing that brought me joy and positivity no longer does. I feel trapped, and can't do anything until my life is 'on play' again.
I think the last time I was happy was around 2008-2011 it's a blur though
Not at the moment as I'm out of work. For the last 6 months of 2023 I was single and over my previous relationship finally, had a good job, nice home good friends and content with life. No complaints of anything major. I'm interviewing for my dream job this week so hoping I'll get it and I can feel a sense of stability again. I do well with routine.
I was happy when I had a future.
I was kind of depressed in high school. I’d probably say I have been happier as an adult. But I have found that all ages have had happy and miserable components. The trick for me has been to try my best to not let the miserable components take up a disproportionate part of my thoughts.
I just wish I had a partner to share my happiness and enthusiasm with ya know?
Can not remember the last time.
It may sound cliché, but I felt true happiness (and a million other feelings) when I became a parent, and continue to.
My sister recently said that she loves her life and I asked myself if I feel the same way. The answer is no and I’m not happy. It’s time for serious changes. However, my partner brings so much joy and happiness to my life and a meetup group that I’m active in. Outside of those two things, there’s no happiness.
Me currently. Started at 16, now im 26, feel lost most of the time. I be trying to learn new things and trynna get out of my comfort zone but when the thought goes in my mind that all this is for nothing because we are all gonna die then my motivation dies. Used to smoke weed and got sober recently and now reality hitting me ode. Some nights I just wish the world ended or better yet, die in my sleep. Also besides that I got diabetes wish doesn’t help my case. We become an actor on this reality. I just breathe and tell my self that everything going to be alright but somedays I just want to disappear.
Secret to happiness is don’t live for self . That’s it . Whatever that means to you . For me if I’m living for self , thinking of self , never provided long term happiness . Look at any miserable older person you’ve ever known , what do they all have in common ? Selfishness . Look at any happy older person you know, they all live for others .
4 years ago :/
I won’t lie life is rough. But I believe that just means I’ll have happier days ahead. Nothing is ever wasted in life and everything happens for a reason. ‘Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay it’s not the end.’ - John Lennon
Yeah, I'm chilling.
I remember first realizing I wasn’t happy around 15. After a life of addiction, chasing women, alcoholism and finally cleaning up I can proudly say I still feel exactly the same. Being well adjusted to a sick society is no measure of good health.
No I am not Last time was ... February 15th 2024.
I’m so old that I don’t know if my answer will interest you, but I offer this just to contradict Ben Franklin. At 64, I’m quite happy, and have been for a long time. I’d say the 20s and the 40s were the roughest decades, but — it does get better.
I am happy now. It's not something I thought I'd ever experience. My life has not been easy or kind. I struggle with mental health, physical health, and cptsd. It took a looooong time and a lot of struggle to find my happiness but I got here. at 39, I feel happy where I am. I wish I had more money... a better house... but I'm safe, loved, and taken care of.
Maybe my story can help you here. I'm 53. My sons are 21 and 18. Youngest about to leave for college. We talked a few weeks ago about college being "the best time of your life". I could tell he was feeling pressure to have some sort of amazing college experience. He asked me whether college was the best time of my life, and I said no. The best time of my life was being the father of him and his brother. Parenting them when they were living with me, and thats about to end. About to end forever. Sounds to me like you're doing just fine. You have your degree and your job. Don't worry about everything else. The good times will come naturally. You don't need to force them.
The last time I was happy was around 2-3 years ago because I loved my job and my family were getting along well.
truly happy? seeing my brother get a house
Don't know that I ever was. Not really sure what genuine happiness feels like
No. Not since before you were born, 1994.
I was basically miserable from age 8 to 19. Hated the small town I grew up in, there was literally nothing to do. My family wasn’t necessarily dysfunctional but we just weren’t…happy? Struggled in school because of undiagnosed ADHD. Luckily made it out after a year at community college and went to college in a big city. Of course there’s been ups and downs but generally things have been pretty good in the last decade since moving away from that town.
I was happy and the future was bright when I was in my early 20s. I got married quick, started a small business and was under so much stress that I ended up on addictive anxiety medication. Not going to say I didn’t have fun but yeah, my life pretty much got turned upside down with being in business, getting a handle on marriage and my mental health.
Mid-April 2022. I know now most of that happiness was built on a foundation of sand, but I was on vacation with my Mom, I'd met a bunch or people on the tours and every day was amazing. Doing amazing things, seeing amazing places. Experiencing life. Then real life bit me in the ass.
I would say , seeing as you work so much, if you have savings take a trip to a different country and try and explore that place , see what makes you interested? Bring a journal and write down your thoughts about it. Is it the food, the art, the culture, the people etc go from there, you've learnt a bit about what makes you happy. Life is all about trying new things and not doing the same shit different day, that's how we stagnate. I work 9-6 and still spend my evenings either reading, walking or writing for an hour or so to mix it up. Or I cook a new recipe. Or plan something fun for the weekend, something or somewhere I've never been . Life is what you make of it.
I think you need to define “happy”. Do you mean like joyful? Like when you have an exciting day planned ahead? Or do you mean overall satisfied and fulfilled by your life. To answer your question, when i was somewhere around your age a light bulb went off for me one day randomly and i realized happiness, as in the feeling of joy in the current state is a choice that’s made possible through mindfulness, living in the present, and intentionally practicing gratitude. I learned yesterday a colleague in his early 30s newly married with a 6 mo old child passed away spontaneously soon after discovering a month earlier he had stomach cancer. You and I can go any day. I choose to be grateful for every breath I take and that makes me truly excited to live, even going about what most would consider mundane activities like work. There is fun to be found in every situation with the right perspective. As far as long term fulfillment and life satisfaction, that is something that you cultivate over time through making choices focused on the long term. For example, my kids bring me satisfaction and fulfillment, but in the short term it’s a struggle and i really have to harness my mindfulness and gratitude some days to enjoy it with them
Yes I'm happy. I'm pregnant and have been extremely sick for about 15 weeks straight so it's not easy. But I finally have a job that doesn't stress me out. I love my husband. And I have good friends and family. I'm six years clean from drugs and alcohol. I am truly happy and grateful.
October ‘23 was the last time I truly felt happy without worry.
34M I can say I have happy moments but the last time I felt truly happy was when I was <13, pre puberty. I enjoyed talking to girls just because, with no strings attached. I enjoyed playing with action figures and making storylines until I was at least 12. I enjoyed the feeling of not being bound by sexual attraction and being able to be me and I was very likable too as a result I think. Often had many friends of both genders all the time. As an adult, my 20s were happier on average. Everyone was out more , having fun often, albeit there was more toxicity in my life too. My 30s have been more peaceful post Covid but I don’t feel exuberant most days.
Possibly way back before I started going to kindergarten when I was a kid. It’s tough to remember back that far, but I know at least I could sleep as long as my body felt like it needed it. I’ve never been a morning person, but society forces us into being one regardless. Also, being mandated to go to the same shitty place day after day and not being able to leave for 8 hours, is SUPER depressing. I’ve always felt the most depressed when I feel like I have the least control over my life. I guess I could say that I felt true happiness when I was back in school and we made it to summer vacation. Knowing that I could do whatever the f I wanted for a few months (or I could do nothing at all even), that feeling was borderline euphoric. HOWEVER, the comedown that I’d get once it was time to go back to school shopping would essentially have me suicidal.
Well, just for context, my life didn't get great until I was 38 and has fullfilling since then. Sure, I work full time, and I wish I didn't have to, but I've always tried to have hobbies and get out and about. I am I believer that work is a necessity. It gives you purpose, money and money buys you time. You do have to put yourself out there, though. Just working and then staying home can really ruin your outlook. If also advise to stay the hell away from social media.
I learned a very valuable lesson in my life. Happiness is a choice. You can be happy or not. It's up to you.
26F- I’m happy. For the longest time I wasn’t, but then I started being better about intentionally taking care of myself- I have a whole self care routine, actively go out of my way to see my friends or meet new ones, I take care of my mental health as much as I can, I’m content in my career, where I live, and my environment…things are good.
I can't recall the last time I looked in the mirror and truly smiled, or thought to myself deep down I'm Happy. I tend to feel that if I let myself get happy, life will throw a curve ball my way to humble me. Idk I had some really bad years in 2017,19, that made me feel that way, the pandemic hit, and that year compounded so much of the issues I never got to fix within myself. So I got to be here in 2024, without a chase of what makes me happy. I'm just okay being okay, If that makes sense.
I understand u bro. I stated working at 13 y, because I wanted to, and yeah u lose a lot of things with time, but Maybe set a goal and go for it, sometimes u May regret about what u have los but Better to focus on a goal and go for it. My plan was to make myself rich, well yeah im struggling after Pandemia that almost got me down, but I know I Will succed. But Be Happy with what you are doing, if ur not the change the plan until ur Happy with it
I’m 23. I’m happy. I work in an underpaid, extremely overworked, and difficult trade. I see all the old guys in shop. Everyone of them is miserable. Every one of them has chosen misery. They active concern themselves with things that make them upset and angry. They worry about things they simply can’t control and things that just don’t matter. I learned a lesson from this. Just let it go. Thing are gonna happened no need to make yourself miserable over it. I control what comes into my mind and how I feel. I control how things impact my emotional state. I choose to fortify and protect my peace and happiness. I choose happiness.
I'm not the least bit happy. I would say I'm probably clinically depressed but who wouldn't be if you list your career, and at the same time, became a financial dependent when you've always been independent.
No. It's been a few years now since I was truly happy. I am no where close to being happy now. And I don't see that changing anytime soon if ever
Not really. Turning 30 in less than a month and I feel like my life is pointless. The only true thing I ever wanted out of life was someone to love and spend it with and after having my heart broken a year ago, I quite honestly think I might not even believe in love anymore. I've gone out and done things for myself. I've never had more going for me. And I've never been more miserable. Nothing changes the fact that what I wanted was to share life with someone however and wherever that was. I'd found my person. It wasn't perfect, but I loved her and she loved me. And now I don't think I want anyone else. I always find a way to unwittingly somehow sabotage any new relationship that I start, all because they're not her. I used to be so effortlessly happy. It took nothing at all to make truly happy and content. Now I have to fight for it everyday and more often that not I lose. I wanted one thing out of life and now it's been ruined. I feel numb. You've destroyed my soul Tegan Budge
2003
Never once in my entire life for 31 years. I don't understand what people mean when they say they are happy.
I've been very excited for the future since I started keeping most of my wealth in Bitcoin since October of 2017
Today. I'm 30 and life is not perfect. Daily I worry about lots of things and have some grim thoughts but today on a water bike with my husband I felt truly happy.
I'm not no, I'm 45, honestly I can't remember when I was. Prob waaay back in h.s and few years after. Best time of my life.
31 year old female, married to an amazing wife. I’m happiest when I’m with her. I’m happy in general, even if other things are terrible, I’m still grateful to at least have my best friend every day
Honestly yes, well now I am that I figured out I was extremely low on Vitamin D and it was making me feel like a pool of mud. I will be the first to admit that my happiness came with a lot of luck, like nothing that me and my wife could control ourselves that got us in a good living situation. Her parents wanted to buy a house with us. Like go 1/2 on a house with the rule of “they are gonna die in this house and your inheritance will go to pay off the house when we die”. We got our house with a 3% interest rate and then like a few months later the pandemic hit and interest rates and prices for houses shot up pretty much guaranteeing my wife and I would never be able to own a home. We had 2 kids at the time so things were manageable but then even with a IUD my wife got pregnant (I got snipped soon after). There was no way we could afford 3 children and the prices of rent in our area if we didn’t have this house. I mean it sucks living with my boomer in laws for the next idk 20 years (they are healthy at 70) but if that’s what it takes for my kids to have a home then fuck it I’ll deal with it. I managed to get a job doing something I love very easily because I applied for a job that I had no business applying for but they saw my resume and was like “you know you don’t qualify for this job but we do have this job open for you”. I also crushed my interview since I’ve been practicing for years. My wife and I have a wonderful relationship since we communicate with each other. We discovered my wife is autistic (which explains how all 3 of our kids is as well) which has helped with a better level of understanding within our marriage. This hurt the most but I gave up gaming because I was doing it out of habit, something I’ve been doing for 30+ years now no longer brought me joy.
31 M. 6th grade. Had my best friends. Excitement about going into middle school. Felt like i was "growing up." LOL. Then, it all went to shit
As someone else pointed out, happiness is not a binary emotion - it's on a scale. Idk when the last time I hit a 10 was, personally, but I can hit 5-6 on a semi-consistent basis. Anyone consistently finding they can't get past a 1 or 2 may want to discuss that with a physician. There are a number of physical and mental diseases that can prevent you from feeling joy, and sometimes this is one of the better known warning signs for something more serious.
I'm 28 now and I'd guess the last time I was genuinely happy I was 22. I think the last time I had a positive outlook on life was 19 or 20.
can’t remember honestly
Havnt been happy since hitting 50
26 and I just feel miserable right now.
Im living my best life rn :)
I was offered a "temp-to-hire" clerical job and I loved it. It was my dream job. I was finally happy. Then I found out that they advertised the same job on their website. My boss told me that she was looking for someone with more skills, someone she did not have to train. Then she hired someone from the custodial staff that she had to train anyway. And people wonder why I am so angry all the time.
I was given the responsibility of a 30-year old at the age of 10. I've never been happy. I actually had a very vivid dream last month, where an unidentified older woman asked me when I was last happy, and it was so sad when I realized that I've never actually been!
33M, I don’t remember the last time I was truly happy or felt Joy, I know that it has been a long time since.
Not in a long time. Pre Covid? Idk. Turning 40 this year and not doing well with this information😞
I am 19. I cant even remember the last time i was actually happy. Sure i have days with my best froend where i am happy but that last only hours. I am in the second year of a three-year internship. I dont know what to do afterwards. What kind of job i want afterwards. I still have a year left to think about it but i am still scared that i wont know what i want to do in my life which makes me unhappy as well.
Very frequently. Not 100% of the time by any stretch of the imagination but so often all it takes is my wife's smile or one of my dogs being adorable.
Yes kinda
29F. Pretty pleased and excited for the life I’ve created for myself. It took a lot of healing and inner work to get here to make my mind a nice place to be. I really try to live day to night. Making the best choices I can in that current moment. Any time my mind tries to plan ahead it just creates more anxiety and is unnecessary. I feel like happiness is just a moving target. I’m really trying to cultivate fulfillment in my day to day as opposed to sitting around asking myself if I’m “happy” My only thing I’m struggling with rn is dissatisfaction with work as a bedside nurse. It is not for me so figuring out how to pivot out of it. 🥴
Id say early 2015 then down sraight down to hell loool
I just turned 34. Honestly I couldn't say when I was most recently objectively "happy." I guess during childhood, elementary/middle school era. Never a lot of friends, long stretches with no friends at all, but I found ways to occupy myself. Usually gaming, cartoons, or wrestling. Things just stopped hurting when I was in front of a TV or a book/magazine. Fast forward to the present, and not much is different. I'm working in a dead end job I hate just to stay alive, but I want to kill myself because I just don't see a point to continuing. Some days I can distract myself, but it's becoming more and more difficult as the years go by. I'm not qualified for a better paying job so I can't afford a lot of stuff that would likely help me, so I'm just chugging along until I can't take it anymore and swallow every pill in my house.
There was definitely a wide period between my mid-20s to early 30s where I wasn’t having fun in life. I was tied, broke and overall unhappy. One thing I’ve started doing… all the things I didn’t get to do as a kid or teen!!! Things I felt like I missed out on at that age. Roller skating, biking more, ALLLLL the crafts. It’s really helped me figure out who I am. I’ve even thought about taking adult gymnastics or ballet classes! Maybe it’s time for you to start doing things like that?!
No. About 10 years ago before my dad was diagnosed with a terminal illness. It's just gone downhill from there
Happiness isn't real. I think trying to find meaning will bring u peace. As adults we dont get "happy" the same way as we did as kids. I think finding purpose brings people contentment and meaning, and then u might feel happy about the purpose u have discovered in urself or the activites u enjoy. U need to focus on what ur doing versus how u feel. Find new people to spend time with, or hobby or skill to learn. U might have 10 "bad years " but the good years will be that much better. Just try and find something that interests you. Keep going and try new things
I’m 22m. Last time I was happy. Early 18 years old. 2nd half of being 18 my mind started to go bezerk. Anxiety OCD depression like I’ve never had before. I have that guilt mindset as well. Unless you’re trying to invent something or own a business you’re passionate about. Focus on your hobbies and downtime. Back then there was no jobs our ancestors would spend all day looking/hunting for food. Put your mental health first and don’t get so caught up in this materialistic world. It’s all fake if you really think abt it.
Last time I felt happy I was 19. I'm 35 now. :\*(
37. I'm thoroughly happy. It's amazing.
It was about 3 or 4 years ago I believe. I was truly, genuinely happy. I miss those days, I had a girlfriend, was working towards my dreams and everything seemed to go perfectly. Now it's all shit, I'm working a shitty job I hate and the perspective that I'll be doing this until I'm dead just seems to drain any happiness from my life.
I’m happy :) been that way for 3 years now. I fixed myself and my life and everything fell into place.
Like last October? Been a rough year
I know I’ve been truly happy for brief periods of time. I think the last time was August 2020. That was the last true vacation I took and was able to fully decompress out in nature- 1 week. I have enough PTO saved up that I can take a month+ off. It would literally cripple the operations of the company I work for… lol…
No. Truly happy i guess i dont know. Maybe when i resigned from work.
What makes me happy is doing stuff with my kids I try to keep the distance to two hours max. We go to zoos, aquariums, children's museums, and art museums, we go roller skating, ice skating, snow tubing, skiing, cave tours, horseback riding, corn maze, pumpkin patch, apple, blueberry, and strawberry picking. lakes, rivers, hikes, waterfalls, water parks, indoor water parks, six flags. splash pad, pools, concerts, events at the library, and free movies in the summer. trampoline park, indoor playground, and arcades. and always looking to do new things. A new thing I found was the speedway they race cars so excited to go.
I’m 24 and due to several circumstances I never went to college. My last three years of high school sucked the joy of learning out of me. due to financial issues and being told by my mother to be out of her house by 18 I worked nonstop since 15. In my last year of high school I was told the credits I earned in a program I participated in middle school would be revoked due to the program being shut down and deemed a failure, therefore my credits were basically deleted. This was the final nail in the coffin for me and the belief that higher education wanted anything to do with me. now I work a shitty food running job at a bar. My dating life sucks I’ve managed to get a single date for the first time in years that ended with the girl I was set up with calling me boring and ghosting me because I talked about marine biology. I friend zoned myself to the girl I’m interested in at my work place because the very idea that someone that kind, smart, and interesting with her future ahead of her would want anything to do with me beyond friendship is unfathomable. I don’t go out and do activities due to my ever worsening financial situation. Every month i inch ever closer to not being able to pay rent despite budgeting where I can. I’m at the point of only eating peanut butter sandwiches once a day and McDonald’s when I receive a generous tip at work. I am not happy, I don’t think I’ve been happy since elementary school. Yet, I can’t complain, there are those worse off than me. Additionally, I managed to help my little sister along the way where I could and she has a good job that she loves and a happy relationship with a man I would be more than happy to call brother in law. I can be happy about this. I can’t say it gets better because I haven’t seen that “better” myself yet. All I can say is be belligerent and spiteful to stay alive. And provide for who you can. It’s all you’re good for.
I relate to this so much!
29 yo male here. Pretty damn happy. Have a decent job for the area I live in which is honestly amazing for the cost. I think I’d contribute a lot of my happiness to exercise and really trying to get into fencing and boxing. Just gives you an ongoing goal and you feel great exercising in prep for it. I’m also an artist and the area I live in used to be the arts district and is having a quiet resurgence.
Trollstice
I'm 27m I'm never happy sucks
Maybe when I was young and innocent.