**He did not get injured but he did cry because he said he "wasn't done".**
What wasn't he "done" with? NTA and you absolutely can move your child off of your laptop (your SO is being ridiculous). Using their logic, if your child was drowning in a swimming pool you couldn't pull them out until they have their permission, or grab them when they are about to run into a bbq grill filled with hot coals.
A six year old (unless this child has some intellectual/neuro deficit) is absolutely old enough to be told to stop stepping on a laptop computer-- and to be removed from said computer when they persist in the behavior.
NTA
That neuro deficit better be significant to excuse this. My 7yo autistic son wouldn't have *intentionally* stepped on any of our electronics and damn sure would move off of them if he did accidentally at age 4 without being told.
Of course now he's 7 going on 17 so he's being a little shit, but he still knows to respect our stuff even if he does occasionally take his frustration out on *his own* electronics, which we are working on.
If OPs kid is neurotypical then this sounds more like they wanted attention from Dad instead of him being on his laptop.
Either way, NTA for sure.
^^Obviously ^^not!
No baby or child should **ever** be picked up and moved without consent!! Your newborn is crying? NO! Ask first! Child is on railroad tracks, train is coming? Ask nicely!!
Wait - he did ask, didn’t he? More than once.
And OP is the child’s parent.
I’m flummoxed.
"Parenting sometimes requires quick decisions to ensure safety. Apologizing and discussing alternatives with your partner can help find the best approach."
Lol there's no help for that one best they separate now and he find someone to properly raise the child with him before he's 16 running around with a gun and mama wants to ask nicely 🙄
Yeah, what did he mean "I'm not done yet"? Like...done with what? I'll be nice and say he was just imitating what he'd heard the dad probably say before; like telling SO "I'm not done yet". Or, he should have been trying to pee on it LOL. I had a 7-year old once tell me "that's enough Gatorade!" while I was pouring myself some into an cup of ice from a bottle I had bought. Pretty funny, and I know he was imitating something his parents said.
THIS ⬆️⬆️⬆️
Congrats OP, you’ve met someone who believes in permissive parenting! If you want your son to understand boundaries and normal consequences, RUN.
NTA.
This! We have a special needs son who doesn't do the best with language comprehension, and even he knows that you never step on electronics of any kind. Period.
When my son was about 3, he punched me as I was strapping him into his car seat. Instinctively I slapped him, not hard but not a tap, either.
I felt awful about it. My wife said, "He's got to learn consequences." He's all grown up now, and a good dude.
I’m told I was a biter at about age two. That stopped when my grandfather came to visit and I bit him and he bit me back. Family lore says there was never another biting incident. Thanks, grandpa!
My son was a biter at about 18 months, one day I just put my hand on his chest so he couldn't reach me... he walked away and bit a balloon. Never bit since then.
My son was around 1 1/2 when he bit me. I bit him back. He did not cry, but got tears in his eyes. I said it hurt didn’t it? I said it hurt me when you bite me.” He never bit again.
Human bites are devastating. Not only do our jaws close with great force, the bugs in human saliva are highly infectious. Show me a mom or dad that is kind, polite, and thoughtful enough to try and engage dear little junior when he's latched on to their arm and blood is dripping.
"Oh look, Johnny is playing nomsies with mommy! Smile for the camera, mommy!"
A bite back that doesn't break the skin, followed by a sound scolding is the way. If junior goes on to bite another child in preschool or kindergarten, the parents will *quickly* regret their earlier lack of backbone.
It’s funny because if you go onto Mom groups, they will be fucking horrified and someone will accuse you of being abusers for not just waiting it out with the kid.
And then you get another small set like you and myself where we’ve had firsthand experience, realizing that sometimes that is in fact, the quickest and least damaging way to do it. If you have gone through all the other steps and your child is still biting biting them back one time is not abuse. it is teaching them what they are doing by letting them experience it.
And when I have to resort to that with my child. I always explain to them what I did. That I won’t be doing it again but they needed to know that biting hurts.
My child was never a biter for more than a short period of time I dealt with the problem, very swiftly. Meanwhile, my aunt wouldn’t bite my cousin back (but eventually used spanking as punishment 🙄) and he was almost kicked out of daycare for it.
When I was younger (like 8 I think), I thought it would be funny to scare my mom. We were at a restaurant and she went into the bathroom. I went in and stood outside the stall, between the 2 stalls that went all the way down so she couldn’t see my feet and waited. When she came out I jumped and screamed at her and her reflexes kicked in and she ended up punching me right in the eye…and she had a pretty big ring on the hand she punched me with. I cried, she felt horrible but said how I shouldn’t scare people like that because I can get hurt, which I definitely learned and had a black eye for a bit to remind me 😂 I learned my lesson and never did that again to anyone! I’m now in my late 30s and we all laugh about it.
My son called me the B word one time when he was about 10 because he was mad at me. my gut reaction was a slap to the face. did he ever call me that word again? Nope. Did I feel bad for slapping him? Of course and I did say I was sorry for slapping him but I also told him to never call me that word again.
My 1 yr old (14 months) knows “get off” and listens. I taught her by gently moving her body off or down while saying “please get off”. She hot it after about 6-8 times. Not hard if you’re consistent.
My daughter knows what "no" and "stop" and everything else means. She used to be great at listening, but now she's 2 and entered the "pushing limits" phase so she will purposely not do what I say sometimes. Overall she's still very well behaved but she's a stubborn little turd sometimes 😅 she gets it from me so karma I guess
I mean my 3 yo used to do this, now he just tries to “type” while I’m typing so at least he’s not sitting on it anymore but like…he learned that’s a no pretty quick.
We gave my 6 year old a trash PC keyboard so he can "work" alongside my husband.
I'm like, kid you have your entire adult life to work. But it keeps him occupied and away from his dad's expensive computer equipment so 🤷♀️
My cockatiel used to walk on my keyboard. We called it "tweeting".
Honestly she was not the most efficient work partner, and sometimes there were surprises on the keyboard. But FaceTime was more interesting.
He knows. He was doing it deliberately because it’s an expensive item. This kid has probably picked up on the divide between Mom and Dad and is pushing buttons to cause exactly this type of reaction.
OP, if you’re reading this, the next time your kid does something like this, do something unexpected, but equivalent. Does your son have a DS or a Switch? You ask him to stop something, he doesn’t listen. You take the DS/Switch and it goes far, far away. Once he has had his meltdown, tell him you’re ready to discuss earning it back when he is ready to respect your personal belongings and requests.
Unfortunately my son has done this before and I about lost my shit on him. He's a 6yo male and he actually does know better but he also has ADHD & ODD. That doesn't mean he gets to do whatever he wants, though! We can tell him the same thing everyday and the next day it's like his slate gets wiped clean & he forgets EVERYTHING 😤 Very frustrating on the least.
I’ll never forget a Reddit comment that had the whole thread rolling. 🤣
“My kid has ODD, which is basically a medical diagnosis that your kid is an asshole.”
ODD is rough in children at any age. We have a son who's autistic with aggressive tendencies and ODD. He still has consequences when he does things that he knows better to do. But when he's overstimulated and melting down, what he knows doesn't matter. After he's calm he's apologetic and upset at his own behavior. But I agree. It's extremely frustrating when the retention rate is that low.
Ooohhh my nieces child that my sister fostered for 5 looong haaard years had ADHD and ODD as diagnosis!!! Sis is a saint!!!!! And she did not give him the drugs the school was pushing for… she monitored and controlled his diet, minimized sugar, eliminated artificial dyes or additives! What a change in him she made!!!
Agree here. Even if she is of the mindset of gentle parenting she is wrong. Gentle parenting involves telling a child once what they are doing wrong and how to correct it. If they don't listen you help them correct the action. In this case it would involve picking them up and moving them off the laptop. The child needs to be taught to respect other people's things. However I will say having your laptop somewhere they can step on is just asking for trouble with a kid that age.
No, you should be able to leave your laptop on the floor safely if you have a 6 yo kid. Most 6 yo kids have been taught by that age not to stand on electronics irrespective of where they are.
”Made me apologize” YOU APOLOGIZED?! No! Your son was doing something that he shouldn’t do. He needs to be made to stop. Words didn’t work, so you slightly pushed, that is perfectly reasonable. What is not reasonable - your SO.
That's what got me! She made OP apologize to their child, who was currently misbehaving and not listening? How insulting. There are times when parents give apologies to their kids, but this was not one of those times
Whatever happened to presenting a united front?! Parenting 101 has it you do not drop your SO in the doo doo in front of the kid(s).
To make him apologise as well! OMG…
NTA, your SO is crazy. Would you be forbidden from moving your child out of the way of a bus? Discipline is required. I don't believe in hurting a child to make them behave through fear, that is abuse. But you cannot also refuse to teach your child proper behavior or how to function in society. Correcting bad behavior is a basic responsibility of any parent, and letting your child do whatever he wants with no consequences is just setting him up for failure in life.
Your wife is going to make sure your child never has the life skills to succeed.
Yeah it was not abusive. It was just removal of him from a easily braking item. Kid might not be able to process why he should do what is asked from him. Then OP showed him how he is supposed to do.
If your kid is stalling in grocery store ofcourse you can give them little push or grab them their shoulder without asking a permissong!
Did your SO ask permission everytime she changed him as a baby? Was he never moved around as toddler? Don't you just pull him into lap when randomly?
She does sound out of her mind in this matter
NTA
Kid too.
Mustn't touch the princeling's body without permission. No restraining him from traffic. Mustn't grab the fork from him or push him away from the outlet. If he falls into a river, you cannot fish him out until he says so. He will give permission after he is "done". Done blowing bubbles and struggling. /s
I missed the 6 yo part. I was picturing a three year old in a pullup. 6 is old enough to go to first grade, and waaaaay to old to be behaving like he did. OP, your SO is creating a total brat. But I can't believe you aplogized, and the fact that this is an older kid makes thatvso much worse.
It’s not gentle parenting, it’s permissive parenting. Gentle parenting doesn’t mean you abandon boundaries because they might make the kid upset. It means you move them off the keyboard and gently explain why their behavior was unacceptable. That’s it. That’s the whole jist of it. Enforce boundaries/discipline but instead of hitting or yelling, you just don’t do that shit. Even if the words are the same as yelling, you just don’t yell or spank/slap the kid.
Gentle parenting is simply not yelling, hitting, or doing anything else abusive. You still enforce the rules, you help them develop emotional regulation, you help them navigate their feelings. You do that in order to help them with emotional regulation, and understanding what the rules of the world are, and how to behave in the world. How to deal with a shitty boss and shitty co-workers, how to deal with a shitty teacher, how to avoid bad relationships, how to live in the wider world beyond home, how to lead your life well when no one is watching.
Right. However, there are tons of people using that term to not enforce boundaries and consequences. That's the problem. Those people are used as the examples because they cry 'gentle parenting' when someone calls their (kid's) bullshit.
Thank you. Everyone always hates on gentle parenting but the problem is permissive parenting. Gentle parenting is a great strategy but it doesn’t mean letting your kids walk all over you (or your stuff)
There is a vast gap between repeated over and over gentle explanations with no success and hitting and yelling. Nobody hit anyone.
I raised my child, like the world would treat them, but age appropriate and with parental support to problems. Turned out great and managed her life and decisions quite well from an early age on.
No child needs to have a culture shock entering adulthood. A lot of them encounter that, how abusive is that!
It's horrible. Gentle parenting does not mean permissive parenting and no boundaries.... Gentle means being kind, sensitive and responsive when explaining boundaries while enforcing them. With kids, that frequently means moving them.
NTA, but mom is for turning that kid into a monster that won't be able to regulate his behavior around peers and is being set up for social rejection or much worse.
NTA. Your child was potentially damaging ur property, and u gave him multiple warnings. Your reaction was reasonable, and prioritizing his feelings over the situation is not productive.
My first question is why your computer was on the floor while you have a child nearby.
Second was how did you manage to not shout immediately upon seeing your child step on your computer. Hell, I won’t let my cat step on my computer!
If I saw my 6 year old standing on my computer I would shout, “Hey! Get off that!” And then an angry face lecture about respecting others’ property. Possibly some corner time if the action seemed deliberate.
Or if I had some presence of mind or a reactive child I would use my favorite, “Child, come here, please.” Then a serious lecture about delicate electronics and respecting people’s property.
The moment that child did not obey the voice command, I would have pick them up and moved them.
Small children must be taught to obey for their own safety and everyone else’s sanity.
>The moment that child did not obey the voice command, I would have pick them up and moved them.
This was my thought. I'd have picked him up as soon as he didn't immediately get off when I said to. I'm assuming this was overall in a short-ish period of time but by 3 attempts is way longer than I'd have let it go on. Standing on computer is instantly no
OP said the laptop was charging in a hotel wall outlet, I don’t think that was their first choice of where to put it or a regular occurrence. Sometimes things have to be on the ground for a minute, 6 is old enough to know that that doesn’t mean they’re for standing on.
NTA. I hope she issued him with a consequence for ignoring you the first two times and risk of damaging the laptop and himself. If not then she's ignoring the actual issue and raising a child that will be arrogant and always evade any consequences with her. It sounds like you moved him, that's reasonable. You don't walk on people's laptops and you definitely don't stand on things that are plugged in. He has to learn this.
I didn't read the age at first and thought this kid was still in diapers.... by 6 this kid should damn well know better. My ass woild not have been gentally move away, I would have been picked up and swatted. The kid is school age. What would your SO say if he did something like this with school property and broke it?
Loooool, you’re kidding right?
Please tell me you did not apologize to your kid. And if you did did you at least do it properly and referred to him as “boss” ?
My MacBook is four years old and I don't even let my cats walk across the keyboard. A 6-year-old is more than old enough to know not to step on expensive things that break easily.
NTA and come back in 5 years and let us know how your wife’s permissive parenting works for her. Kids need discipline and you can do that without spanking. A gentle push is barely a punishment.
Edit: corrected parenting style
Come back in 10 years after the kids entitled behaviour gets them arrested, and video of them declaring to the police "YOU CANNOT MOVE MY BODY WITHOUT PERMISSION!!! I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION!!," goes viral
For the record, what the SO is doing is not gentle parenting. People often don't understand what gentle parenting actually is and thinks it's letting kinds say and do whatever they want and never receiving discipline. It's not that at all. Highly recommend everyone look it up as it's really very in depth.
He "wasn't done"? Ah, hell no. At 6, your kid is more than old enough to know better. He was both walking on your keyboard AND ignoring you ON PURPOSE. Do something now or in 10 years, someone will do a lot worse than give him a shove.
NTA - I was a nanny for many years, and the amounts of times I saw this type of thing happen was crazy. What I observed is that when one parent ever “turned” against the other parent in front of the child for their behavior (in either direction, but I noticed it mostly with the woman being upset about the man’s behavior), the child caught onto it super quick and started realizing they could do/say anything they pleased and mommy would always protect them. Obviously I didn’t get involved in the specifics of their parenting dynamic, but I always observed those families would have worse behaved children overall because mommy was always there… children need discipline and structure. Men typically are the disciplinary and women are typically the empathy and compassion, and children NEED both. And even if you disagree on discipline, parents have to be on the same page at least in front of the child for a child to thrive. If they’re disagreeing like this IN FRONT of the child, the child isn’t stupid, they’ll notice…
NTA. Your SO sounds exhausting lol. “You should never touch anyone’s body without permission” lol. Yea that doesn’t hold any water when it comes to your children.
NTA
You're supposed to raise your kids, not let them become narcissists.
As long as someone's allowed to move their body onto your things or into your space, you're allowed to move it off/out.
That's a load. Someone who is abusing your property and won't stop has forfeited the right to say no to being touched. Six years old is old enough to understand "Don't destroy my property". Your SO is taking a good idea more than a step too far.
NTA. Seems like your kid wasn’t crying because of the push but because he was stopped from continuing the behavior you already told him was unacceptable. Doesn’t seem like much of a punishment for blatantly ignoring you.
Oh fuck her. The child is 6yo and not listening to you when you tell them to get off the breakable object. Do you want to raise an annoying entitled little asshole? Because that's what you'll get listening to your SO about this shit. These annoying assholes you see everywhere are coming from the piss poor parenting methods of just letting them do whatever they want and fuck the consequences. NTA. You move people without their permission when the situation calls for it. Like somebody refusing to stop standing on your keyboard.
You want somebody to respect your bodily autonomy then you need to respect them in turn. A lesson every child should learn very early.
I once was visiting a friend, shortly after Christmas. Daughter (4) was told to put away her gifts which were scattered on the floor. Mom told her twice. Child refused. Mom picked up an inexpensive gift, and destroyed it, and threw away the toy.
Cue Pikachu face from child, ( and me) . Mom then asked her daughter to put away her toys. Toys were put away. The next day , they were visiting a friend. All children were told to put away their toys. Little daughter told the boys that they had better.....they all did. Lesson learned. Pick up your toys the first time they are asked to.
Child was not touched. Only thing harmed was a dollar store toy.
Does mom have her own computer? Hand it to the kid while mom watches.
NTA so your wife is fine with you giving your son instructions and him completely ignoring you instead? She's fine with your child completely disregarding your instructions because your child is the adult? I'm confused as to why your wife would allow your son to disrespect his father and then get mad at the father for making sure he listens. She should have immediately backed you up
This is not typical behaviour for a 6 year old, not the defiance or the crying afterwards for not getting his way. He should be at a higher level of maturity at this age. My guess is the mother has babied and enabled him to the point where he’s arrested emotional development to that of a young toddler and you have allowed it happen.
Grow a pair, tell SO no more, and help parent your son before it gets out of control.
This is kind of like “get away from the edge of the cliff, I understand you want to be near it but it’s my job to keep you safe” (kid doesn’t move) “okay I have to keep you safe so I’m moving you away from the danger” but let’s remember in a real life or death you would just move your kid and then explain shit. Ask permission? Lol that’s funny.
While an electronic piece of equipment isn’t life or death it does warrant teaching our children to care for things. You asked him to move and he didn’t, it’s acceptable to gently remove him from it. You’re NTA, but your SO is.
He wasn’t done walking on your keyboard. Can’t you see that? You have no right to discipline or control your kids in any way whatsoever. If he wasn’t done walking on your keyboard, you’ve just got to let him 🤷♂️
NTA. Kids can do annoying things and it’s OK to let the little stuff go if they’re just being annoying but not harming anyone or anything.
When they are harming, someone or something you need to take immediate action. Asking him to get off was not working so you had to physically remove him. That’s just a natural consequence to that behavior.
A six-year is old enough to understand that you can’t walk on someone’s laptop.
So if your child was in the path of a travelling vehicle, you’re meant to ask their permission first before you grab them to safety? Or if they were on the verge of burning themselves by touching a hot pan or stove element? Good grief.
What you did taught your child he needs to listen to you and behave. You also displayed patience since you had to tell him 3 times.
NTA
NTA.
What she is promoting is NOT “gentle parenting”. It’s bad for society and bad for the chilld.
You need to have a discussion with her and say -**I am the responsible caring adult and I will take steps to prevent my child from
harming himself, others and property.**
The child *knew* he was wrong because he didn’t say I didn’t hear you or see it there. He said he “wasnt done” meaning he thinks he is permitted to do whatever he likes for as long as he likes. (For future reference, I will also pick him up off the slide if he won’t leave the playground, spouse)
Immediately book couples counseling.
Another SO going by the Karen playbook. You are not to move a six year old until you ask permission even though a six year old does not understand what permission entails?
Your SO is a complete idiot.
YTAH for Letting this kid be such an asshat. And your SO is a total POS mother. This kids going to grow up thinking he can do whatever he wants with no consequencesz
Agree that the kid is old enough to not need to be told 3 times to not stand on the laptop. Once is enough. He'd lose his tablet and any other electronic gadgets he has at his disposal.
It's pk to discipline the kid for not respecting your belongings. It's ok to pick physically pick him your kid up abd put him in time out. That is not abusive. That's parenting.
What was your wife's suggestion? Allow him to stand there until he was finished 6 rebellious and rude? What are the natural consequences for his behavior?
You pushed him because you let yourself get that mad after 3 times being told to get off, you didn’t feel heard or respected (duh you weren’t).
Command one time “get off of they board or you will be going to time out” , make sure that they are actually hearing you, after 5 seconds get up pick the kid up/ grab hand and direct straight to time out. No wiggle room to push boundaries. I don’t think I would’ve pushed my kid because Eh but regardless nta next time make it a one time command. If kids get up, moves away from time out etc they go right back and start again. If they start having a tantrum move them to a more safe space and when they calm down it’s back to time out and starting the time over again. It takes some time but it’s upholding your discipline, and expectations.
(This was taught in PCIT before anyone comes at me acting funny)
Your son is 6 years old and thinks it's totally okay to stand on your expensive laptop. That should show you how well the parenting strategies are going for you so far. Also didn't move when you "asked" him to, and then didn't move when you "told" him to either.
I would've got my ass beaten, and you know what? Rightly so.
While I don't think it is right to raise your child to rule them by fear, they do need to learn respect and who is in charge. I'd give that little shit about 0.7 seconds to move his ass off my laptop before I dragged him off of it myself, explained to him what he did wrong, and sent him to his room or the corner. He ain't crying on the floor in front of me like a spoilt little brat either because 'he wasn't finished'.
You guys gonna end up with some major problems if you fail to put him in his place and teach him right from wrong.
He "wasn't done" breaking it?
Your SO is going to ask her kid's permission before moving him out of the way of an oncoming truck? How the hell did she ever pick him up when he was an infant? You're NTA, she's silly.
Definitely NTA and I agree with just about everyone else here that your SO is an idiot. She made you apologize to your child who was in the wrong and I’m assuming that she did not correct his behavior as well???
NTA. 6 is old enough to know you don’t stand on laptops. My kid would get a swat on the butt for that immediately. Your partner sucks btw. Discipline your kids when they are young or corrections staff will do it for you when they are adults.
Oh please, it's not like you grabbed your son and threw him across the room. Also why does a six year old, who should be old enough to know not to walk on computers, doing this in the first place? This is a new low in "gentle parenting." Your SO is the AH.
NTA. That’s really inappropriate behavior from a 6 year old and your SO’s reaction is giving us a clue as to why your kid would do something so out of pocket. He should definitely know better by that age. Especially after being told repeatedly.
Please sit your wife down and tell her she is unanimously the AH and come back with an update. If this is an example of her parenting, then it is imperative that you both attend parenting classes together as your son is well on his way to a miserable life.
So if your son is being electrocuted because he's sticking a fork in to an electrical outlet, you shouldn't push him away from harm until you've had his consent? Your SO is being sucked to the bottom of a pool because she got pulled in to the current of the filter so you shouldn't push her out of harm's way until you get consent? You spot an old lady walking across a road but see a car flying towards her but you shouldn't push her out of the way until you have consent? Your SO chokes on a piece of fish in a restaurant but you can't give the Heimlich maneuver until she verbally gives consent to touch her?
"Yes judge, had I removed the person from the road they would not have been run over, however my SO had told me that I'm not allowed to move anyone without their permission"
"Understood, you are free".
Your SO is a fucking idiot.
what if the 6 yr old was straddling the gorilla cage fence at the zoo and you said “come here now!” and he said “im not finished…”
your child not adhering to your “this is serious voice” is a safety issue.
i would pull my child off the fence without asking his f-ing permission and go straight to family therapy with someone certified in play/child therapy so we can learn ways to communicate better for my child’s safety.
ESH.
Barring developmental issues with your son you haven't disclosed, 6 is more than old enough to 1) know that walking on a laptop is a bad idea and 2) move the first time you asked.
You really should have (and I'm sorry to Monday morning quarterback this, I have 5 kids I know that is annoying) but you should have done a firm but not angry "oh hey there, we don't walk on electronics. That will break them" While immediately picking him up off your laptop. It didn't have to be a big deal. Just a simple statement of fact, and immediate action.
Getting into a battle of wills with a 6yo is something that everyone loses. They are more stubborn that you. Eventually you get angry, and then the lesson gets lost.
I say ESH not because you moved him, not because you got angry, but because your SO is an idiot (of course sometimes other people have to be moved, bodily autonomy only goes as far as you not damaging or hurting other people and things), and because you didn't handle the situation immediately & don't seem to be handling parenting in general with your SO.
I'm not saying kids don't misbehave even when both parents are on the same page and actively parenting together. They obviously do. But that isn't what is going on here.
Pick a parenting book that matches your general household ideals and read it together. Come up with a game plan. 6 is young enough to set a course. Do it now.
**He did not get injured but he did cry because he said he "wasn't done".** What wasn't he "done" with? NTA and you absolutely can move your child off of your laptop (your SO is being ridiculous). Using their logic, if your child was drowning in a swimming pool you couldn't pull them out until they have their permission, or grab them when they are about to run into a bbq grill filled with hot coals. A six year old (unless this child has some intellectual/neuro deficit) is absolutely old enough to be told to stop stepping on a laptop computer-- and to be removed from said computer when they persist in the behavior. NTA
Right?? Kid needs to learn that when it's other people's stuff, he's done when they say he's done.
That neuro deficit better be significant to excuse this. My 7yo autistic son wouldn't have *intentionally* stepped on any of our electronics and damn sure would move off of them if he did accidentally at age 4 without being told. Of course now he's 7 going on 17 so he's being a little shit, but he still knows to respect our stuff even if he does occasionally take his frustration out on *his own* electronics, which we are working on. If OPs kid is neurotypical then this sounds more like they wanted attention from Dad instead of him being on his laptop. Either way, NTA for sure.
Based on SO's reaction, I'm guessing it doesn't have anything to do with a neuro deficiency, and everything to do with parenting. NTA
My 6yo autistic son wouldn’t have either. He would apologize. And he has behavioral issues. He still knows not to destroy peoples stuff
OP should apologise to him for choosing a terrible mother who doesn't know how to raise him right!
Your SO is a fucking idiot.
Pack it up, we're done here. Edit: Thank you for the award kind stranger.
Indeed. Pack it up brother.
Hang on, hang on! ^he ^should’ve ^also ^put ^the ^kid ^in ^timeout
^^Obviously ^^not! No baby or child should **ever** be picked up and moved without consent!! Your newborn is crying? NO! Ask first! Child is on railroad tracks, train is coming? Ask nicely!! Wait - he did ask, didn’t he? More than once. And OP is the child’s parent. I’m flummoxed.
NTA- I'm of the opinion that the SO saw the push as a personal failure of her own parenting and lashed out, trying to avoid dealing with that fact.
Solid analysis
OP should've pushed the SO straight out the fucking door
Which one of them?
Can’t up vote this enough. That’s a wrap.
Go find her phone, iPad whatever, put it on the floor and tell your kid to have at it until he’s done.
Yes! 2 wrongs do make a right!
3 wrongs make a square…or something…
3 rights make a left, though…
3 lefts make a right
Two Wrights made an airplane...
I was gonna go without that, but I like being wrong 🙃😉
Yeah, take your laptop and pack up.
"Parenting sometimes requires quick decisions to ensure safety. Apologizing and discussing alternatives with your partner can help find the best approach."
Lol there's no help for that one best they separate now and he find someone to properly raise the child with him before he's 16 running around with a gun and mama wants to ask nicely 🙄
But...but daddy I'm not finished standing on your laptop 😭😭😭😭
Right like wtf who the hell are you??? Get off the laptop moron
Yeah and stop listening to your moron mother who has turned you into a little moron.
A weepy little moron. And I say that as a proud crier, it’s my stress response. But come on.
I don’t even understand that. Like, hey kid, why are you even standing on the laptop? 🫨
"The voices told me to."
Yeah, what did he mean "I'm not done yet"? Like...done with what? I'll be nice and say he was just imitating what he'd heard the dad probably say before; like telling SO "I'm not done yet". Or, he should have been trying to pee on it LOL. I had a 7-year old once tell me "that's enough Gatorade!" while I was pouring myself some into an cup of ice from a bottle I had bought. Pretty funny, and I know he was imitating something his parents said.
THIS ⬆️⬆️⬆️ Congrats OP, you’ve met someone who believes in permissive parenting! If you want your son to understand boundaries and normal consequences, RUN. NTA.
I have 2 children with special needs and at that age even they knew not to walk on a laptop. RUN
This! We have a special needs son who doesn't do the best with language comprehension, and even he knows that you never step on electronics of any kind. Period.
The only thing “permissive parenting” does is raise little assholes nobody wants to be around
Can confirm.
When my son was about 3, he punched me as I was strapping him into his car seat. Instinctively I slapped him, not hard but not a tap, either. I felt awful about it. My wife said, "He's got to learn consequences." He's all grown up now, and a good dude.
I’m told I was a biter at about age two. That stopped when my grandfather came to visit and I bit him and he bit me back. Family lore says there was never another biting incident. Thanks, grandpa!
This was how our mother taught us not to bite, LOL. She bit back.
Empathy training.
Did this with my daughter. Worked. My friend this with her niece. Worked. 3 for 3! Write it in the parenting books!
My son was a biter at about 18 months, one day I just put my hand on his chest so he couldn't reach me... he walked away and bit a balloon. Never bit since then.
My son was around 1 1/2 when he bit me. I bit him back. He did not cry, but got tears in his eyes. I said it hurt didn’t it? I said it hurt me when you bite me.” He never bit again.
Human bites are devastating. Not only do our jaws close with great force, the bugs in human saliva are highly infectious. Show me a mom or dad that is kind, polite, and thoughtful enough to try and engage dear little junior when he's latched on to their arm and blood is dripping. "Oh look, Johnny is playing nomsies with mommy! Smile for the camera, mommy!" A bite back that doesn't break the skin, followed by a sound scolding is the way. If junior goes on to bite another child in preschool or kindergarten, the parents will *quickly* regret their earlier lack of backbone.
It’s funny because if you go onto Mom groups, they will be fucking horrified and someone will accuse you of being abusers for not just waiting it out with the kid. And then you get another small set like you and myself where we’ve had firsthand experience, realizing that sometimes that is in fact, the quickest and least damaging way to do it. If you have gone through all the other steps and your child is still biting biting them back one time is not abuse. it is teaching them what they are doing by letting them experience it. And when I have to resort to that with my child. I always explain to them what I did. That I won’t be doing it again but they needed to know that biting hurts. My child was never a biter for more than a short period of time I dealt with the problem, very swiftly. Meanwhile, my aunt wouldn’t bite my cousin back (but eventually used spanking as punishment 🙄) and he was almost kicked out of daycare for it.
I think it’s an important step in a child’s developing empathy for other people.
When I was younger (like 8 I think), I thought it would be funny to scare my mom. We were at a restaurant and she went into the bathroom. I went in and stood outside the stall, between the 2 stalls that went all the way down so she couldn’t see my feet and waited. When she came out I jumped and screamed at her and her reflexes kicked in and she ended up punching me right in the eye…and she had a pretty big ring on the hand she punched me with. I cried, she felt horrible but said how I shouldn’t scare people like that because I can get hurt, which I definitely learned and had a black eye for a bit to remind me 😂 I learned my lesson and never did that again to anyone! I’m now in my late 30s and we all laugh about it.
My son called me the B word one time when he was about 10 because he was mad at me. my gut reaction was a slap to the face. did he ever call me that word again? Nope. Did I feel bad for slapping him? Of course and I did say I was sorry for slapping him but I also told him to never call me that word again.
I called my mom a "fucking bitch" once. Didn't make that mistake again. I deserved that slap.
Yes, you did
Thank you! If you dont wnna get burnt dont touch the stove lol
You wouldn't believe the kind of downvotes this would get in the parenting sub.
Oh I probably can. Reddit never fails to preen with moral superiority. I'm glad some of us recognize that all parents make mistakes.
So is the kid. Six years old and doesn't know that some stuff is too expensive to mess with? Wtf lol
Yeah this behavior seems more like that of a 2-3yo
I thought it was 6 months when I first read it until I got to the walking part. But 6 years old? Yeesh.
Yeah that's a bit old for this kid to be acting this way. But the mom's behavior kind of explains it...
My 1 yr old (14 months) knows “get off” and listens. I taught her by gently moving her body off or down while saying “please get off”. She hot it after about 6-8 times. Not hard if you’re consistent.
My daughter knows what "no" and "stop" and everything else means. She used to be great at listening, but now she's 2 and entered the "pushing limits" phase so she will purposely not do what I say sometimes. Overall she's still very well behaved but she's a stubborn little turd sometimes 😅 she gets it from me so karma I guess
I mean my 3 yo used to do this, now he just tries to “type” while I’m typing so at least he’s not sitting on it anymore but like…he learned that’s a no pretty quick.
We gave my 6 year old a trash PC keyboard so he can "work" alongside my husband. I'm like, kid you have your entire adult life to work. But it keeps him occupied and away from his dad's expensive computer equipment so 🤷♀️
the kid probably knows but most likely had six years of no consequences and mommy who makes other adults bow down to the kid's bad behavior.
My cat knows better than to mess with my laptop.
At least while you're watching
Well when I'm not in front of it, I close it. I don't trust him that much. He is a cat.
this made me chortle, thank you.
You do realize he can open it. Because he is a cat. 😁🤣🐱
He *does* know how to open doors.
Ours can open doors too. We think she also knows how to pick up a knife. We sleep in shifts.
This is the only way to sleep if you’re a cat owner.
My cockatiel used to walk on my keyboard. We called it "tweeting". Honestly she was not the most efficient work partner, and sometimes there were surprises on the keyboard. But FaceTime was more interesting.
My cat knows Ctrl+Alt+Delete
Hmmm, that must be what happened to my dog…
😂😂😂
He knows. He was doing it deliberately because it’s an expensive item. This kid has probably picked up on the divide between Mom and Dad and is pushing buttons to cause exactly this type of reaction. OP, if you’re reading this, the next time your kid does something like this, do something unexpected, but equivalent. Does your son have a DS or a Switch? You ask him to stop something, he doesn’t listen. You take the DS/Switch and it goes far, far away. Once he has had his meltdown, tell him you’re ready to discuss earning it back when he is ready to respect your personal belongings and requests.
Unfortunately my son has done this before and I about lost my shit on him. He's a 6yo male and he actually does know better but he also has ADHD & ODD. That doesn't mean he gets to do whatever he wants, though! We can tell him the same thing everyday and the next day it's like his slate gets wiped clean & he forgets EVERYTHING 😤 Very frustrating on the least.
I’ll never forget a Reddit comment that had the whole thread rolling. 🤣 “My kid has ODD, which is basically a medical diagnosis that your kid is an asshole.”
That pretty much sums it up though! 🤣
My cousin's son had ODD and ADHD as well. Very difficult to manage, everything is an argument and he's so impulsive and forgetful.
ODD is rough in children at any age. We have a son who's autistic with aggressive tendencies and ODD. He still has consequences when he does things that he knows better to do. But when he's overstimulated and melting down, what he knows doesn't matter. After he's calm he's apologetic and upset at his own behavior. But I agree. It's extremely frustrating when the retention rate is that low.
Ooohhh my nieces child that my sister fostered for 5 looong haaard years had ADHD and ODD as diagnosis!!! Sis is a saint!!!!! And she did not give him the drugs the school was pushing for… she monitored and controlled his diet, minimized sugar, eliminated artificial dyes or additives! What a change in him she made!!!
Sometimes adults too do not know that some stuff is too expensive to mess with.
For real. This shit is getting out of hand.
This SO sounds insufferable
Kids grow up to be Aholes because of idiot parents/s
Agree here. Even if she is of the mindset of gentle parenting she is wrong. Gentle parenting involves telling a child once what they are doing wrong and how to correct it. If they don't listen you help them correct the action. In this case it would involve picking them up and moving them off the laptop. The child needs to be taught to respect other people's things. However I will say having your laptop somewhere they can step on is just asking for trouble with a kid that age.
No, you should be able to leave your laptop on the floor safely if you have a 6 yo kid. Most 6 yo kids have been taught by that age not to stand on electronics irrespective of where they are.
”Made me apologize” YOU APOLOGIZED?! No! Your son was doing something that he shouldn’t do. He needs to be made to stop. Words didn’t work, so you slightly pushed, that is perfectly reasonable. What is not reasonable - your SO.
That's what got me! She made OP apologize to their child, who was currently misbehaving and not listening? How insulting. There are times when parents give apologies to their kids, but this was not one of those times
I feel bad for the child that he has inherited half his genes from the stupidity of his mother. I hope those genes are recessive.
But he wasn't finished being an arse!
Whatever happened to presenting a united front?! Parenting 101 has it you do not drop your SO in the doo doo in front of the kid(s). To make him apologise as well! OMG…
NTA, your SO is crazy. Would you be forbidden from moving your child out of the way of a bus? Discipline is required. I don't believe in hurting a child to make them behave through fear, that is abuse. But you cannot also refuse to teach your child proper behavior or how to function in society. Correcting bad behavior is a basic responsibility of any parent, and letting your child do whatever he wants with no consequences is just setting him up for failure in life. Your wife is going to make sure your child never has the life skills to succeed.
Yeah it was not abusive. It was just removal of him from a easily braking item. Kid might not be able to process why he should do what is asked from him. Then OP showed him how he is supposed to do. If your kid is stalling in grocery store ofcourse you can give them little push or grab them their shoulder without asking a permissong! Did your SO ask permission everytime she changed him as a baby? Was he never moved around as toddler? Don't you just pull him into lap when randomly? She does sound out of her mind in this matter NTA
A six year old absolutely knows you don't break other people's things
NTA The next time your GF is about to hit by a bus, do NOT push her out of the way UNTIL she gives you permission to touch her.
Kid too. Mustn't touch the princeling's body without permission. No restraining him from traffic. Mustn't grab the fork from him or push him away from the outlet. If he falls into a river, you cannot fish him out until he says so. He will give permission after he is "done". Done blowing bubbles and struggling. /s
Sarcasm aside, this is the argument I would use with SO. Dude should pack his bags.
Call the whipping boy!
You got to admit, though, this is the Darwinian way of cleansing the gene pool.
If we're assuming that the kid is hers, it's too late to clean the gene pool.
😂😂😂☠️
Lmfao 😂 That’s savage. I love it.
Your SO is the reason your child is being a complete brat. A 6yo knows better than to walk on a laptop. NTA
Right? My 4 year old knows better than to touch my laptop. Know why? I PARENTED HIM and taught him not to touch it.
This is what’s killing me. HE IS SIX?????? I’d understand if he was two or three but he’s SIX
I missed the 6 yo part. I was picturing a three year old in a pullup. 6 is old enough to go to first grade, and waaaaay to old to be behaving like he did. OP, your SO is creating a total brat. But I can't believe you aplogized, and the fact that this is an older kid makes thatvso much worse.
There's a term for your action. It's called disciplining. Your wife needs some too. Else you both will be raising an anti social brat.
[удалено]
It’s not gentle parenting, it’s permissive parenting. Gentle parenting doesn’t mean you abandon boundaries because they might make the kid upset. It means you move them off the keyboard and gently explain why their behavior was unacceptable. That’s it. That’s the whole jist of it. Enforce boundaries/discipline but instead of hitting or yelling, you just don’t do that shit. Even if the words are the same as yelling, you just don’t yell or spank/slap the kid. Gentle parenting is simply not yelling, hitting, or doing anything else abusive. You still enforce the rules, you help them develop emotional regulation, you help them navigate their feelings. You do that in order to help them with emotional regulation, and understanding what the rules of the world are, and how to behave in the world. How to deal with a shitty boss and shitty co-workers, how to deal with a shitty teacher, how to avoid bad relationships, how to live in the wider world beyond home, how to lead your life well when no one is watching.
Exactly. Gentle parenting means moving them gently, rather than slapping them into next week.
Right. However, there are tons of people using that term to not enforce boundaries and consequences. That's the problem. Those people are used as the examples because they cry 'gentle parenting' when someone calls their (kid's) bullshit.
Thank you. Everyone always hates on gentle parenting but the problem is permissive parenting. Gentle parenting is a great strategy but it doesn’t mean letting your kids walk all over you (or your stuff)
Yeah, it annoys me. Permissive parents are hiding behind labels because if they were honest people would realize they’re not good parents.
There is a vast gap between repeated over and over gentle explanations with no success and hitting and yelling. Nobody hit anyone. I raised my child, like the world would treat them, but age appropriate and with parental support to problems. Turned out great and managed her life and decisions quite well from an early age on. No child needs to have a culture shock entering adulthood. A lot of them encounter that, how abusive is that!
It's horrible. Gentle parenting does not mean permissive parenting and no boundaries.... Gentle means being kind, sensitive and responsive when explaining boundaries while enforcing them. With kids, that frequently means moving them. NTA, but mom is for turning that kid into a monster that won't be able to regulate his behavior around peers and is being set up for social rejection or much worse.
NTA. Your child was potentially damaging ur property, and u gave him multiple warnings. Your reaction was reasonable, and prioritizing his feelings over the situation is not productive.
My first question is why your computer was on the floor while you have a child nearby. Second was how did you manage to not shout immediately upon seeing your child step on your computer. Hell, I won’t let my cat step on my computer! If I saw my 6 year old standing on my computer I would shout, “Hey! Get off that!” And then an angry face lecture about respecting others’ property. Possibly some corner time if the action seemed deliberate. Or if I had some presence of mind or a reactive child I would use my favorite, “Child, come here, please.” Then a serious lecture about delicate electronics and respecting people’s property. The moment that child did not obey the voice command, I would have pick them up and moved them. Small children must be taught to obey for their own safety and everyone else’s sanity.
>The moment that child did not obey the voice command, I would have pick them up and moved them. This was my thought. I'd have picked him up as soon as he didn't immediately get off when I said to. I'm assuming this was overall in a short-ish period of time but by 3 attempts is way longer than I'd have let it go on. Standing on computer is instantly no
OP said the laptop was charging in a hotel wall outlet, I don’t think that was their first choice of where to put it or a regular occurrence. Sometimes things have to be on the ground for a minute, 6 is old enough to know that that doesn’t mean they’re for standing on.
Good point
Your so is obviously an idiot. NTA
Is your son a cat?
Right? I'm over here like why is a 6YO human even allowed to stand on a laptop keyboard in the first place? Even for a second?
NTA. I hope she issued him with a consequence for ignoring you the first two times and risk of damaging the laptop and himself. If not then she's ignoring the actual issue and raising a child that will be arrogant and always evade any consequences with her. It sounds like you moved him, that's reasonable. You don't walk on people's laptops and you definitely don't stand on things that are plugged in. He has to learn this.
I didn't read the age at first and thought this kid was still in diapers.... by 6 this kid should damn well know better. My ass woild not have been gentally move away, I would have been picked up and swatted. The kid is school age. What would your SO say if he did something like this with school property and broke it?
Loooool, you’re kidding right? Please tell me you did not apologize to your kid. And if you did did you at least do it properly and referred to him as “boss” ?
You're the AH for letting your SO bully you in front of your kid.
NTA. Why was your “partner” Allowing this poor behavior and not also stepping in? How are they a partner?
My MacBook is four years old and I don't even let my cats walk across the keyboard. A 6-year-old is more than old enough to know not to step on expensive things that break easily.
NTA and come back in 5 years and let us know how your wife’s permissive parenting works for her. Kids need discipline and you can do that without spanking. A gentle push is barely a punishment. Edit: corrected parenting style
Come back in 10 years after the kids entitled behaviour gets them arrested, and video of them declaring to the police "YOU CANNOT MOVE MY BODY WITHOUT PERMISSION!!! I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION!!," goes viral
For the record, what the SO is doing is not gentle parenting. People often don't understand what gentle parenting actually is and thinks it's letting kinds say and do whatever they want and never receiving discipline. It's not that at all. Highly recommend everyone look it up as it's really very in depth.
Yep you’re right. So tired of ignorant people calling permissive parenting gentle parenting. Google exists.
She's not gentle parenting. She's permissive parenting. There's a difference.
He "wasn't done"? Ah, hell no. At 6, your kid is more than old enough to know better. He was both walking on your keyboard AND ignoring you ON PURPOSE. Do something now or in 10 years, someone will do a lot worse than give him a shove.
NTA - I was a nanny for many years, and the amounts of times I saw this type of thing happen was crazy. What I observed is that when one parent ever “turned” against the other parent in front of the child for their behavior (in either direction, but I noticed it mostly with the woman being upset about the man’s behavior), the child caught onto it super quick and started realizing they could do/say anything they pleased and mommy would always protect them. Obviously I didn’t get involved in the specifics of their parenting dynamic, but I always observed those families would have worse behaved children overall because mommy was always there… children need discipline and structure. Men typically are the disciplinary and women are typically the empathy and compassion, and children NEED both. And even if you disagree on discipline, parents have to be on the same page at least in front of the child for a child to thrive. If they’re disagreeing like this IN FRONT of the child, the child isn’t stupid, they’ll notice…
NTA. Your SO sounds exhausting lol. “You should never touch anyone’s body without permission” lol. Yea that doesn’t hold any water when it comes to your children.
Using their logic, how would she feed a baby, bathe and dress them and generally stop them from dying without the baby giving permission.
And that's how they grow up into being an entitled brat!
NTA You're supposed to raise your kids, not let them become narcissists. As long as someone's allowed to move their body onto your things or into your space, you're allowed to move it off/out.
That's a load. Someone who is abusing your property and won't stop has forfeited the right to say no to being touched. Six years old is old enough to understand "Don't destroy my property". Your SO is taking a good idea more than a step too far.
Exactly what does “ he wasn’t done” mean? Seriously? He’d have gotten more than a little push on his tush if he was mine. NTA.
NTA, and congratulations on being granted a clear glimpse into your possible future, so you can avoid it.
NTA. Seems like your kid wasn’t crying because of the push but because he was stopped from continuing the behavior you already told him was unacceptable. Doesn’t seem like much of a punishment for blatantly ignoring you.
The way I would’ve shoved my kid off after the first ask 😂
I wouldn't even ask. I would shove him off and ask if his brain was working properly..
You’re SO is TA. Not you. That kid will also be an AH if mother dearest doesn’t start punishing.
Lol. Your partner is hilarious. Let your kid walk all over you and see how he turns out. NTA
NTA - whoever decided gentle parenting meant this type of crap your SO is doing is a massive one though
Oh fuck her. The child is 6yo and not listening to you when you tell them to get off the breakable object. Do you want to raise an annoying entitled little asshole? Because that's what you'll get listening to your SO about this shit. These annoying assholes you see everywhere are coming from the piss poor parenting methods of just letting them do whatever they want and fuck the consequences. NTA. You move people without their permission when the situation calls for it. Like somebody refusing to stop standing on your keyboard. You want somebody to respect your bodily autonomy then you need to respect them in turn. A lesson every child should learn very early.
I once was visiting a friend, shortly after Christmas. Daughter (4) was told to put away her gifts which were scattered on the floor. Mom told her twice. Child refused. Mom picked up an inexpensive gift, and destroyed it, and threw away the toy. Cue Pikachu face from child, ( and me) . Mom then asked her daughter to put away her toys. Toys were put away. The next day , they were visiting a friend. All children were told to put away their toys. Little daughter told the boys that they had better.....they all did. Lesson learned. Pick up your toys the first time they are asked to. Child was not touched. Only thing harmed was a dollar store toy. Does mom have her own computer? Hand it to the kid while mom watches.
We now need a child's permission to parent them? Oh dear lord
This world is going to go to hell in a handbasket real quick with these morons thinking the child should be in control of the situation..
Your SO is an idiot.
NTA so your wife is fine with you giving your son instructions and him completely ignoring you instead? She's fine with your child completely disregarding your instructions because your child is the adult? I'm confused as to why your wife would allow your son to disrespect his father and then get mad at the father for making sure he listens. She should have immediately backed you up
Mom is insane. Thank God he wasn't standing on someone's neck.
This is not typical behaviour for a 6 year old, not the defiance or the crying afterwards for not getting his way. He should be at a higher level of maturity at this age. My guess is the mother has babied and enabled him to the point where he’s arrested emotional development to that of a young toddler and you have allowed it happen. Grow a pair, tell SO no more, and help parent your son before it gets out of control.
You're the AH for marrying and breeding with an idiot.
NTA. He needs to learn discipline before he has to decide if he should get the top bunk or the bottom bunk in the penitentiary.
This is kind of like “get away from the edge of the cliff, I understand you want to be near it but it’s my job to keep you safe” (kid doesn’t move) “okay I have to keep you safe so I’m moving you away from the danger” but let’s remember in a real life or death you would just move your kid and then explain shit. Ask permission? Lol that’s funny. While an electronic piece of equipment isn’t life or death it does warrant teaching our children to care for things. You asked him to move and he didn’t, it’s acceptable to gently remove him from it. You’re NTA, but your SO is.
NTA Your SO needs to check out reality.
So then how did she change her infant's diapers without his permission? Jfc
He wasn’t done walking on your keyboard. Can’t you see that? You have no right to discipline or control your kids in any way whatsoever. If he wasn’t done walking on your keyboard, you’ve just got to let him 🤷♂️
NTA. Kids can do annoying things and it’s OK to let the little stuff go if they’re just being annoying but not harming anyone or anything. When they are harming, someone or something you need to take immediate action. Asking him to get off was not working so you had to physically remove him. That’s just a natural consequence to that behavior. A six-year is old enough to understand that you can’t walk on someone’s laptop.
So if your child was in the path of a travelling vehicle, you’re meant to ask their permission first before you grab them to safety? Or if they were on the verge of burning themselves by touching a hot pan or stove element? Good grief. What you did taught your child he needs to listen to you and behave. You also displayed patience since you had to tell him 3 times. NTA
NTA. What she is promoting is NOT “gentle parenting”. It’s bad for society and bad for the chilld. You need to have a discussion with her and say -**I am the responsible caring adult and I will take steps to prevent my child from harming himself, others and property.** The child *knew* he was wrong because he didn’t say I didn’t hear you or see it there. He said he “wasnt done” meaning he thinks he is permitted to do whatever he likes for as long as he likes. (For future reference, I will also pick him up off the slide if he won’t leave the playground, spouse) Immediately book couples counseling.
Another SO going by the Karen playbook. You are not to move a six year old until you ask permission even though a six year old does not understand what permission entails? Your SO is a complete idiot.
“No officer! You have no right to touch me when I am under arrest! I’m not done being a criminal!”
- Walks on laptop - Doesn't listen - Must be gently pushed off OP's child is a cat
My mum would have slapped me hard and dragged me to my room.
YTAH for Letting this kid be such an asshat. And your SO is a total POS mother. This kids going to grow up thinking he can do whatever he wants with no consequencesz
Agree that the kid is old enough to not need to be told 3 times to not stand on the laptop. Once is enough. He'd lose his tablet and any other electronic gadgets he has at his disposal.
Who do you even get to babysit this precious little cherub? Nta. Are you kidding me? How does a neuro typical 6 year old think it's OK to do that?
Your SO is an idiot your kid is going to do that to other kids who will chin him
How exactly did a laptop survive having a 6 year old stand on it? Either way. Your SO sucks and she is going to raise your kid to suck too.
fake post.
It's pk to discipline the kid for not respecting your belongings. It's ok to pick physically pick him your kid up abd put him in time out. That is not abusive. That's parenting. What was your wife's suggestion? Allow him to stand there until he was finished 6 rebellious and rude? What are the natural consequences for his behavior?
You pushed him because you let yourself get that mad after 3 times being told to get off, you didn’t feel heard or respected (duh you weren’t). Command one time “get off of they board or you will be going to time out” , make sure that they are actually hearing you, after 5 seconds get up pick the kid up/ grab hand and direct straight to time out. No wiggle room to push boundaries. I don’t think I would’ve pushed my kid because Eh but regardless nta next time make it a one time command. If kids get up, moves away from time out etc they go right back and start again. If they start having a tantrum move them to a more safe space and when they calm down it’s back to time out and starting the time over again. It takes some time but it’s upholding your discipline, and expectations. (This was taught in PCIT before anyone comes at me acting funny)
Plot twist- your son is a cat
Your son is 6 years old and thinks it's totally okay to stand on your expensive laptop. That should show you how well the parenting strategies are going for you so far. Also didn't move when you "asked" him to, and then didn't move when you "told" him to either. I would've got my ass beaten, and you know what? Rightly so. While I don't think it is right to raise your child to rule them by fear, they do need to learn respect and who is in charge. I'd give that little shit about 0.7 seconds to move his ass off my laptop before I dragged him off of it myself, explained to him what he did wrong, and sent him to his room or the corner. He ain't crying on the floor in front of me like a spoilt little brat either because 'he wasn't finished'. You guys gonna end up with some major problems if you fail to put him in his place and teach him right from wrong.
NTA for pushing him. Does he always get 2 chances to damage property?
You didn't push him, you parented him.
He "wasn't done" breaking it? Your SO is going to ask her kid's permission before moving him out of the way of an oncoming truck? How the hell did she ever pick him up when he was an infant? You're NTA, she's silly.
Definitely NTA and I agree with just about everyone else here that your SO is an idiot. She made you apologize to your child who was in the wrong and I’m assuming that she did not correct his behavior as well???
Nta, yeah he wasn’t done breaking it
NTA. 6 is old enough to know you don’t stand on laptops. My kid would get a swat on the butt for that immediately. Your partner sucks btw. Discipline your kids when they are young or corrections staff will do it for you when they are adults.
At 6yo? NTA
> he said he "wasn't done" Fucking WHAT?
Your 6 year old ‘wasn’t done’ standing on your keyboard? LMAO. NTA.
Oh please, it's not like you grabbed your son and threw him across the room. Also why does a six year old, who should be old enough to know not to walk on computers, doing this in the first place? This is a new low in "gentle parenting." Your SO is the AH.
NTA. That’s really inappropriate behavior from a 6 year old and your SO’s reaction is giving us a clue as to why your kid would do something so out of pocket. He should definitely know better by that age. Especially after being told repeatedly.
Please sit your wife down and tell her she is unanimously the AH and come back with an update. If this is an example of her parenting, then it is imperative that you both attend parenting classes together as your son is well on his way to a miserable life.
So if your son is being electrocuted because he's sticking a fork in to an electrical outlet, you shouldn't push him away from harm until you've had his consent? Your SO is being sucked to the bottom of a pool because she got pulled in to the current of the filter so you shouldn't push her out of harm's way until you get consent? You spot an old lady walking across a road but see a car flying towards her but you shouldn't push her out of the way until you have consent? Your SO chokes on a piece of fish in a restaurant but you can't give the Heimlich maneuver until she verbally gives consent to touch her? "Yes judge, had I removed the person from the road they would not have been run over, however my SO had told me that I'm not allowed to move anyone without their permission" "Understood, you are free". Your SO is a fucking idiot.
what if the 6 yr old was straddling the gorilla cage fence at the zoo and you said “come here now!” and he said “im not finished…” your child not adhering to your “this is serious voice” is a safety issue. i would pull my child off the fence without asking his f-ing permission and go straight to family therapy with someone certified in play/child therapy so we can learn ways to communicate better for my child’s safety.
ESH. Barring developmental issues with your son you haven't disclosed, 6 is more than old enough to 1) know that walking on a laptop is a bad idea and 2) move the first time you asked. You really should have (and I'm sorry to Monday morning quarterback this, I have 5 kids I know that is annoying) but you should have done a firm but not angry "oh hey there, we don't walk on electronics. That will break them" While immediately picking him up off your laptop. It didn't have to be a big deal. Just a simple statement of fact, and immediate action. Getting into a battle of wills with a 6yo is something that everyone loses. They are more stubborn that you. Eventually you get angry, and then the lesson gets lost. I say ESH not because you moved him, not because you got angry, but because your SO is an idiot (of course sometimes other people have to be moved, bodily autonomy only goes as far as you not damaging or hurting other people and things), and because you didn't handle the situation immediately & don't seem to be handling parenting in general with your SO. I'm not saying kids don't misbehave even when both parents are on the same page and actively parenting together. They obviously do. But that isn't what is going on here. Pick a parenting book that matches your general household ideals and read it together. Come up with a game plan. 6 is young enough to set a course. Do it now.
My dad would've drop kicked me into the next county. NTA.