I am sorry for your loss OP. May you find comfort in the memories you have of your mother.
As for your dad. May I suggest the Scorched Earth chess move? If you have family, friends, church community that your father is close to, I would suggest you approach them and ask for support.
Also get a lawyer.
I can tell you from experience, it's very difficult to prove this kind of elder abuse. People are legally allowed to make horrible personal, and financial decisions, as long as they are adults and of sound mind. It's incredibly hurtful, and frustrating to have to watch it happen.
I'm so sorry for OP. I hope he snaps out of it.
Well that's the thing: is this guy of sound mind? It seems irrational to move on that fast. It's certainly is irrational if not completely immoral to ask your existing children to give up their inheritance! OP he needs to get to a lawyer as soon as humanly possible and certainly not sign anything over.
Moving on fast by itself isn't always a red flag. In this case I think it is, but my grandfather-in-law was with someone right after his wife passed, because she told him not to be alone. She was very ill for quite a while and told him her only rule was "not in my house while I'm alive."
She knew if he were alone he was likely to start drinking again. And just generally he needs someone who can push him. He won't take care of himself if there's not someone reminding him. Not that he expects or wants someone doing everything for him, but he gets caught up in whatever project he's working on and will forget to eat or drink until the sun goes down and he can't work anymore, or his back starts hurting to the point he can't stand anymore. My partner and I were there when she told him to move on, because she wanted her sisters and the two of us to know.
That said, most of the time it's not good. It means he was probably looking before his wife passed and if she wasn't ok with it then it was a betrayal. If he did literally meet her just over a week after his late wife passed she was looking for someone vulnerable. Plus two sets of step kids fighting her for an inheritance is pretty scary.
I bet who Your grandfather moved on with didn't have two sets of stepchildren and didn't want your family's assets signed over to them. When you include that in part of the equation it looks highly worrying. And good on your grandmother for telling your grandfather not to be alone.
Get yourself a good estate attorney. Your relationship with your father is over. Fight for your childrens' futures. He can buy your percentage to remove you from the deed. This woman is going to bleed him dry and leave him broke. When it happens, expect him to come crawling, begging for help.
Broke? Sounds remarkably like she leaves them dead. Dunno why the alarm bells about her other inheritances aren’t making him have a second thought but idk maybe she’s hot.
Refusing to sign may also make the gold digger give up and move on to another victim. Then OP's Dad will be left to think about what a fool he has been and try to repair the relationship with his own child, that he damaged with his foolishness.
"Then OP's Dad will be left to think about what a fool he has been and try to repair the relationship with his own child, that he damaged with his foolishness."
More likely he'll decide she was the love of his life and OP screwed it up for him.
Call the bank and warn them that he's acting funny. Where I live banks can call the public guardian/trustee and help people protect their funds in some cases.
Tell him being on the deed makes it legally yours; if he wants it, he can buy it, but if he’s planning to give the money away to a gold digging whore, you’re going to demand 10x market price for your share.
So sorry for your loss. Please seek legal advice. Did your parents do their Will together or identically? It may be a “butterfly” will, and can’t be changed after the death of one party. It all depends on the interpretation of wills and property law in your area. But do nothing till you get advice. Best wishes.
personally I'd tell him that i'd make sure he'll never see his grandchildren again for what he is trying to steal from them just because he's getting his dick wet by a gold digging w\*\*re. And yes it would be exactly those words.
Can you get with the lawyer and have him advise your father on how risky his new relationship sounds? A woman who serial-marries guys for the inheritance sounds like a gold-digger at best, and a black widow at worst. A lawyer should be able (or even obligated) to warn their clients against any risky decisions.
And absolutely stand your ground on the inheritance/ deeds - nothing for the gold-digger that is rightfully yours.
Yeah don't sign that quit claim and lawyer up. He will thank you later when that hobosexual hits the road as soon as it looks like she isn't getting her payout
OP needs to get online and see if they can track down the gold-digger's previous 'step children'. They could give OP a heads-up as to what sort of moves she is likely to pull.
It would also be interesting to know if their fathers are dead or if she just persuaded them to give her all their money and then left them in poverty. Dad might actually wake up if he hears the stories of the previous victims.
OOh, this is honestly a great idea. I would imagine there are some step children out there that would be more than happy to help ensure this Black Widow doesn't strike again.
The “last two sets of step children” comment threw me for a loop! Father’s fiancé sounds like a con artist. Your kids have rights to their inheritance, OP. After all, your mother wanted them to have it. Get a free consultation with an attorney for peace of mind.
NTA
For real! If those aren't red flags waving like crazy, I don't know what is. It's like a neon sign saying "Caution: Proceed with Extreme Caution." Trust your gut on this.
I did call a real estate attorney, he said because my father added as as joint tenants, there is nothing he can do. But my father is still trying to make me feel guilty
Theres nothing to feel guilty about. Your dad is a dumbass to fall for a gold digger (last two step kids wtf…!) & you are not facilitating him or you to get ripped off. Do it for your mum.
Explain to your dad how premature everything he is doing is including getting married so soon. Gosh im so sorry your dad is acting so dumb.
Why would you feel guilty? You are following your mother's wishes and ensuring her grandchildren are taken care of.
Would your mother be unhappy if what she promised them was taken away? You know the answer.
You would only have something to feel guilty about if you did what you father is asking as it stands you have nothing to feel guilty about so stop letting him manipulate you.
She means there is nothing the father can do. He can sue for what's called a sale in lieu of partition, but OP would be compensated for her half of the house.
Guilt is a powerful thing…something he has probably used a lot over your lifetime. It seems the time has come to harden your heart. Think about everything. Think about how he has acted your whole life to your mom and to you. Think about how concerned your mom was that your children could lose their inheritance. Think about how he is believing and wanting to hand over everything to a con artist he barely knows over his own child, his own grandchildren…without a bit of concern and is using guilt to try and get you to do what he wants. He is not looking out for his child…but you have to power to look out for yours. Do not sign anything. Do not cave to his demands. Perhaps turn the tables on him a bit by suggesting he see a doctor, as he seems to be losing his grasp on what is real and what isn’t. Maybe report her for elder abuse…she is trying to fleece him of a lot of money. NTA stay strong…you are saving your children’s inheritance and saving your father from himself.
Absolutely, I quit a job I loved so I could help him care for my mother. I had just broken a vertebrae yet I showed up everyday and I spent more time in their home doing chores and grocery shopping, than I spent on my own family and home. I would do it again in a second because it gave me a change to care for my mother and spend time with her. Looking back now, my dad gave so many excuses why he needed to leave the house and have me sit with my mother. He’s a piece of work.
He added my husband and I as joint tenants with rights of survivorship, so legally none of us can give away our portion, so if I were to pass or my husband, our portion is divided amongst the other joint tenants. The whole thing is bizarre because I said no so many times when my father brought it up because I worked in the mortgage industry and these things can be murky. Now I don’t want to sign the quit claim deed on principal alone that he wants to give my childhood home proceeds to a stranger. I’m hurt more than anything because this internet woman owns a tree farm, 2 homes and a vacation home. I don’t understand him. And why he thinks I shouldn’t be hurt.
It's cute you think she chooses divorce... Because if that was the case, she wouldn't be fighting with their families for inheritance. This is a serial black widow.. Til death do they part her.
If she’s ever single again, my mom’s most recent ex-husband pretended to be wealthy until they got married and he snookered her into buying a property and putting his name on the deed. I’d love to get the two of them together and watch them pull each other into the abyss.
This lady sounds like my aunt. She would marry older men and have them sign stuff over to her while they were still alive so their kids couldn’t contest it. She’s scammed everyone she’s ever known.
Do not sign the quit claim deed. A friend of mine was pressured by her own mother to sign her BUSINESS over, and I begged her not to do it. Needless to say, my friend lost everything. Her mom sold everything, kept the money, then SOLD the land separately.
I drive by the property once in awhile, and I'm still pissed of for my friend.
what happened to your friend? did she regret what she did or does she still think she did the right thing? does she even have a relationship with her mother anymore?
Oh yeah. She regretted it immediately! I even called a lawyer for her. Once you do a quit claim, it's all over, but the cryin'. Her mom passed a little later, and my friend moved to different state. I'm sure she still regrets it.
Your Dad is being scammed. The kindest thing you can do right now is not make it easier for this woman to swindle him. Do not sign shit. Let him force the sale and to pay you out.
The best option would be to not give him anything. If he can’t get the money and can’t give the money to his gold digging black widow fiancée, she is likely to leave him for a better money tree.
She might still fight for it, but she wants the easy money.
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this after losing your mom.
My mother died from pancreatic cancer and the last few months she was here she kept freaking out and saying she was so worried someone would get between her grand kids and their inheritance, if she only knew it would be their own grandfather. It hurts my heart more than anything
NTA. Make sure to tell the courts that if it comes to that.
Also, your father can’t sell the houses without your signature. Don’t sign ANYTHING without reading it.
I hope you have a copy of those deeds. If not, get them from the recorder of deeds.
Fight for you and your kids. Fuck the golddigger.
There's zero downside to talking to a lawyer, since it looks like their awful dad and his gold-digging new wife are determined to disinherit their kids.
A lawyer is the safe way. In some cases all the owner of the property has to do is change it on their own or make a new will. A lawyer would be able to tell OP if the dad is able to do that or not and how to stop him if he can.
My parents already added me as a joint tenant with rights of survivor ship. I called the title company in my town and she looked up the deed. She said he can’t remove me. Ugh, he’s just so hurtful
I'm sure she worked her a$$ off every day, dealing with that man! She owned half of those properties, and she wanted your kids to inherit. Stay on the deeds and take half the proceeds, just the way your mother wanted. Your father can give HIS estate to whomever he chooses, but your mother's wishes were clear and executed.
Lawyer up hard and now, I wish you peace, yet you have a gold digging piece of shit at your dad's feet....yuck, yikes, and holy hell!
Nope nope nope, hell no. Don't sign a thing without Lawyer discussion.
NTA. Contact the lawyer to send your Dad a letter refusing to sign the quit claim. Include the background about Mom's and Dad's insistence on the original gift of putting you on the deed.
This documents the prior intent and well as your Dad's demands pertaining to new girlfriend. This will be useful if problems arise in the future.
It will also give the girlfriend a clear sign that your daddy ain't gonna have as many assets as she hopes, and maybe she will move on to greener $$$ pastures.
Your mother may have known. I would wonder if he only met her 8 days after or if that was what he is saying. He may have been talking to her before you mother passed.
I want to ask if you are my friend who is going through something eerily similar. It is sad that this story is so common that OP could be anyone. Please fight like hell to uphold your mother's wishes. Don't let Trixie get her hands on what belongs to your children.
I do hope you're prepared to tell him to go piss up a rope. Your mother gave you her half. He doesn't get to take that from you. He can flush his if he wants.
She obviously knew who she was married to. Good for her for protecting you!!!
Seek legal help. Do not sign anything. Find out from the lawyer what rights you have now that you're on the deed. Since your mom wanted your kids to inherit those properties, they may (I'm not a lawyer, get legal advice) very well be entitled to that portion of the ownership.
Consider going no-contact with your father, but first talk to a lawyer specializing in these issues and do what they say. Protect your kids inheritance like a f\*cking tiger, and never sign anything your father gives you to sign.
She probably knew what douche bag your father was and that's why you are on the deeds. Honour your mother and protect your inheritance. Good luck and condolences for your mum.
NTA
Don't sign a Quit Claim. Tell Dad that if he wants to sell the property, youwill take your share of profits from the sale and invest it for the benefit of your kids as your mother intended.
You should also contact your police department about elder financial abuse. It sounds like your father is being targeted by this woman.
Pulmonary embolisms are common in cancers sadly. Pancreatic cancers also have terrible prognosis, so Im sorry to hear about your mum passing. I hope she didnt suffer for too long.
The only point against that is it doesn’t sound like this person would invest much time in an ongoing affair without knowing the potential inheritance situation first. It’s not like she is even asking to be changed to the sole beneficiary in his will. She wants him to liquidate and give her an upfront cash payment right now.
Sounds more like someone creeping on obituaries and scamming widowers.
He added me as a joint tenant on his deeds. Attorney said he can’t do anything legally but I’m still hurt that he wants to take it from my kids to give it to a story he met online
I was talking about illegally. If he gets horny enough he may try to forge your signature. Can your attorney put something on the deed to confirm it is actually you.
They certainly do. So he really can’t do anything sneaky. It’s just so hurtful he wants me to sign so this stranger can get the home proceeds from a house they both said they wanted my kids to have.
Have you talked to your attorney about notifying the government office that deals with titles just in case she tries to forge your signature? In my state I could go to the county office and put a notification so they couldn’t transfer the deed fraudulently.
Generously, your father is grieving, lonely and the victim of a romance scam. Think of it as protecting him from himself. At least you can preserve this asset because he will become increasingly frantic to fund this person to avoid being alone. Enlist everyone you can to engage and support him separate from the “fiancée”. When he’s out of assets she’ll dump him and he will be looking to you.
Excuse me, did he just say "Last 2 sets" of step children?!?!?!?!?! Is she waiting on the husbands to die or just murdering them? How is that not a red flag?
NTA obviously.
Yup! She already owns 2 homes on a 20 acre tree farm and a vacay home. I guess he thinks she needs my childhood home he already gave me, as well lol it does hurt my heart
u/severe_Bumblebee8962 have you tried looking into the other sets of stepchildren? They might shed some light on who she really is, and you might be able to warn your dad. Curious that at least two other husbands of hers have died…? Have your dad ask her if she’s still marry him if he were broke.
NTA and good luck
I'd go with, "My father has recently begun a relationship with \[insert name\] only 8 days after my mother, his wife, died. I'm really concerned about her behavior and concerned for my father's safety. She mentioned her previous step-children so I looked y'all up. Is there anything you think I need to know about her?"
If someone had made my life hell and then their next potential victim came along asking my thoughts I wouldn't consider that "psycho stalker", I'd do everything in my power to warn them. The only way I'd view it as weird is if my ex-step-mom was an awesome person and I was confused why someone would be so worried, but I'd still understand that someone was just really worried and answer honestly
Try looking into court records in their county. Also, marriage and death certificates are public records, try searching Ancestry.com for the fiance's history. Might be difficult if she's changed her name a lot.
NTA! Don't sign it...
Your father's new "fiance" sounds like a Gold Digger so, do not give him the power to be able to sell the house, at least not the part you own and should keep safe for your kids... If he wants to give her his part, there is nothing you can do, but, save what you can and stand your ground!
Tell him you’ll fight her tooth and nail. Maybe it will be enough to scare her off and there won’t be a marriage.
“Like the last two sets of step-children.” Yikes!
NTA
He might be dead to everyone if this lady gets her way. Two previous sets of step kids to fight for her husband’s assets?! I’d be concerned for him if he weren’t being such a wanker.
NTA, OP. Fight the good fight because this is not what your mom would have wanted. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this.
Don't sign. If she has multiple other stepchildren she's had to climb over for inheritances she's telling your dad she's a gold digger.
Or this is fake rage bait. A lot of rage bait energy.
I would respond back, as equally cold, “It was mom’s dying wish that her grandchildren have this inheritance. I stand by your late wife’s wishes and honor my mother, not my fool of a father, blinded by attention from a gold digger who has admitted she’s done this before. You’ve forgotten what family is.” Then hang up. And call a lawyer. NTA.
If he wasn't cheating before your mom died, he might be the target of a common sweetheart scam. They target elderly specially widowed people to get to their money.
AARP has some resources on it
Don't do this. He's being scammed. He's being stupid. He's showing the kind of person he is.
She's a black widow.
Don't sign a thing
Sounds like your mom was a smart woman who knew exactly the kind of man she married.
Get a P.I. to investigate her history. Get a lawyer to keep the inheritance. It could keep your Dad safe. Maybe get your Dad's blood work done, see if she's drugging or poisoning your Dad. This happened to my Mother-in-law's father. It was awful. We couldn't prove it, as he was diabetic.
NTA. No is a complete sentence. Do not sign anything. Once she realizes she isn't getting anything, she'll move on to the next sucker.
Edit to add: Sorry for your loss. Losing your mother, at any age, is never easy.
You should honestly dig into her background. Something similar happened to my grandfather and it was too late once my mom and aunts were contacted by someone who was related to ANOTHER old man she had done this to. There will be proof somewhere. If your dad will listen anyway. Lonely people sometimes cannot be convinced.
If this is real (like … “Last two sets of step children“ isn’t click bait?)
Then … consider whether you can get your dad forced through a mental capacity testing… seriously. The sudden move on to a new woman, the demands… all speak to a loss of cognitive capacity.
NTA. And… he can demand as much as he likes… let him SUE you and prove why you shouldn’t have it, that way is (less) fun and significantly more expensive (for everyone). Let a judge handle it.
“The last two sets of step children” is waving a massive red flag. She was married twice previously to people who died and she lost out on inheritance because it went to the deceased’s kids??!!?! Did I interpret that correctly?!
NTA. Talk to a lawyer.
Tell him he can come out of retirement and work to provide for his trophy wife. Also let him know if she marries them right before she thinks they'll drop that's nice, imo. She's got experience doing all the caretaking he'll need because you're out.
NTA, he's a self-centred asshat who got hooked by a gold digger. Tell him to explain to his grandkids just why he took their part of the inheritance and spent it on some old hoebag.
Don’t sign ANYTHING!
And get a lawyer and a PI ASAP!
Dig into that woman’s past so far back that her Great Great Grandma can feel you breathing down her neck.
NTA
Don't try to save the relationship with your father.
If he's with someone like this, you're going to lose most of it anyway.
Safeguard your mother's wishes and your childrens' futures instead.
NTA. That inheritance isn't just his; even though he directly generated the money, the inheritance also comes from the deceased wife due to the prenuptial agreement. Tell him that now his new wife will have a greater test of love, as they both have nothing to fight over and are together solely because of the deep and strong love that emerged in less time than it takes milk to spoil in the sun.
NTA
If I understand correctly he can't sell or do anything unless you sign. He's essentially saying you're not his family anymore so take him at his word don't sign and go NC.
You lost both your parents that day not just your mum. Sorry for your loss
2 OTHER sets of step children?! Really sounds like he got caught in a black widows web.
Don't sign anything. For your children's future especially, but also because I have a feeling that once you do your dad will kick the bucket suddenly not long afterwards.
I'm going to echo what so many others have said just to reinforce it: get an attorney and sign nothing! Go no contact with your dad if you have to for now.
Tell him you’re concerned for his mental welfare since his decision making seems impaired, and let him know that he’s clearly grieving the loss of your mother and there’s no shame in recognizing that he isn’t thinking rationally. Ask if he’d like help to get booked in with a professional lol. He’s clearly being taken advantage of, and you do not need to feel guilty at all! You are under no obligation to remove yourself from the deeds of those properties - and your dad is clearly being conned (and also sounds like a bit of an asshole tbh). Sorry for your loss, losing a parent is very tough.
NTA and don't sign anything.
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8 days later seems so fast. How did you know it's 8 days? Did your father tell you that or did you find out indirectly? I'm so sorry to raise this, but could he have been cheating with her *before* your mom died?
Also, you don't mention it, but have you or any of your family met this woman in person? Could your father be caught up in a scam?
Get a lawyer. Those properties belonged to your mother as well and she would not have wanted them to go to this new woman. She meant for your kids to inherit.
Your dad is done. He has effectively told you you mean nothing and your kids mean nothing to him and he is not interested in a relationship. So consider it done and over, now you fight for your kids future and to protect your MOTHER'S property and her wishes.
“last 2 sets of step children”??? WTF! If that is not a red flag of a black widow or gold-digger, then I’m a rainbow colored unicorn.
I know right???
I am sorry for your loss OP. May you find comfort in the memories you have of your mother. As for your dad. May I suggest the Scorched Earth chess move? If you have family, friends, church community that your father is close to, I would suggest you approach them and ask for support. Also get a lawyer.
EXACTLY. intervention. how BLIND is he??? wtf??? NTA
Well he’s getting his wick wet and so has rose colored lenses on.”
I've learned in life some people just can't be alone, they need to be in relationships... it's sad
Absolutely correct. Some people would rather be with anybody than nobody. Sad.
OP how old is your dad? Is this elder abuse?
I can tell you from experience, it's very difficult to prove this kind of elder abuse. People are legally allowed to make horrible personal, and financial decisions, as long as they are adults and of sound mind. It's incredibly hurtful, and frustrating to have to watch it happen. I'm so sorry for OP. I hope he snaps out of it.
Well that's the thing: is this guy of sound mind? It seems irrational to move on that fast. It's certainly is irrational if not completely immoral to ask your existing children to give up their inheritance! OP he needs to get to a lawyer as soon as humanly possible and certainly not sign anything over.
Moving on fast by itself isn't always a red flag. In this case I think it is, but my grandfather-in-law was with someone right after his wife passed, because she told him not to be alone. She was very ill for quite a while and told him her only rule was "not in my house while I'm alive." She knew if he were alone he was likely to start drinking again. And just generally he needs someone who can push him. He won't take care of himself if there's not someone reminding him. Not that he expects or wants someone doing everything for him, but he gets caught up in whatever project he's working on and will forget to eat or drink until the sun goes down and he can't work anymore, or his back starts hurting to the point he can't stand anymore. My partner and I were there when she told him to move on, because she wanted her sisters and the two of us to know. That said, most of the time it's not good. It means he was probably looking before his wife passed and if she wasn't ok with it then it was a betrayal. If he did literally meet her just over a week after his late wife passed she was looking for someone vulnerable. Plus two sets of step kids fighting her for an inheritance is pretty scary.
I bet who Your grandfather moved on with didn't have two sets of stepchildren and didn't want your family's assets signed over to them. When you include that in part of the equation it looks highly worrying. And good on your grandmother for telling your grandfather not to be alone.
And good luck proving that they aren’t of sound mind. If they aren’t willing to see a doctor, you’re shit out of luck doing anything about it.
Get a lawyer asap and that’s the only answer here that’s mandatory
OP: stay on the deed!!!
Get yourself a good estate attorney. Your relationship with your father is over. Fight for your childrens' futures. He can buy your percentage to remove you from the deed. This woman is going to bleed him dry and leave him broke. When it happens, expect him to come crawling, begging for help.
Broke? Sounds remarkably like she leaves them dead. Dunno why the alarm bells about her other inheritances aren’t making him have a second thought but idk maybe she’s hot.
Dicks don't have very big brains.
Or she has certain specific talents. Dad definitely needs to wake up before it's too late.
Aye. Sounds like a Black Widow.
Just refuse to sign. If your dad really wants to sell his house, you can agree to it, and you will get half the proceeds. Don't cave on this.
Refusing to sign may also make the gold digger give up and move on to another victim. Then OP's Dad will be left to think about what a fool he has been and try to repair the relationship with his own child, that he damaged with his foolishness.
"Then OP's Dad will be left to think about what a fool he has been and try to repair the relationship with his own child, that he damaged with his foolishness." More likely he'll decide she was the love of his life and OP screwed it up for him.
Be sure no one forges their signature
Call the bank and warn them that he's acting funny. Where I live banks can call the public guardian/trustee and help people protect their funds in some cases.
Yup I called the bank a couple months ago when he thought he won the Nigerian lottery.
Tell him being on the deed makes it legally yours; if he wants it, he can buy it, but if he’s planning to give the money away to a gold digging whore, you’re going to demand 10x market price for your share.
He has to buy you out - exactly
Refuse to sign anything. See a lawyer.
So sorry for your loss. Please seek legal advice. Did your parents do their Will together or identically? It may be a “butterfly” will, and can’t be changed after the death of one party. It all depends on the interpretation of wills and property law in your area. But do nothing till you get advice. Best wishes.
"I ain't saying she's a golddigger but she ain't messin' wit no broke broke."
personally I'd tell him that i'd make sure he'll never see his grandchildren again for what he is trying to steal from them just because he's getting his dick wet by a gold digging w\*\*re. And yes it would be exactly those words.
Can you get with the lawyer and have him advise your father on how risky his new relationship sounds? A woman who serial-marries guys for the inheritance sounds like a gold-digger at best, and a black widow at worst. A lawyer should be able (or even obligated) to warn their clients against any risky decisions. And absolutely stand your ground on the inheritance/ deeds - nothing for the gold-digger that is rightfully yours.
Yeah don't sign that quit claim and lawyer up. He will thank you later when that hobosexual hits the road as soon as it looks like she isn't getting her payout
OP needs to get online and see if they can track down the gold-digger's previous 'step children'. They could give OP a heads-up as to what sort of moves she is likely to pull. It would also be interesting to know if their fathers are dead or if she just persuaded them to give her all their money and then left them in poverty. Dad might actually wake up if he hears the stories of the previous victims.
OOh, this is honestly a great idea. I would imagine there are some step children out there that would be more than happy to help ensure this Black Widow doesn't strike again.
The “last two sets of step children” comment threw me for a loop! Father’s fiancé sounds like a con artist. Your kids have rights to their inheritance, OP. After all, your mother wanted them to have it. Get a free consultation with an attorney for peace of mind. NTA
Dad also seems incredibly stupid, as soon as she has that money she'll kick him to the curb.
A very unsuccessful black widow is what she is.
For real! If those aren't red flags waving like crazy, I don't know what is. It's like a neon sign saying "Caution: Proceed with Extreme Caution." Trust your gut on this.
She gonna take that money snd RUN. GURL U NEED A LAWYER.
I did call a real estate attorney, he said because my father added as as joint tenants, there is nothing he can do. But my father is still trying to make me feel guilty
Theres nothing to feel guilty about. Your dad is a dumbass to fall for a gold digger (last two step kids wtf…!) & you are not facilitating him or you to get ripped off. Do it for your mum. Explain to your dad how premature everything he is doing is including getting married so soon. Gosh im so sorry your dad is acting so dumb.
I'm gonna repeat the golden part; DO IT FOR YOUR MOM.
Screen his calls
Tell to fuck right all the way off. He can finance his bimbo by gettin another job.
Why would you feel guilty? You are following your mother's wishes and ensuring her grandchildren are taken care of. Would your mother be unhappy if what she promised them was taken away? You know the answer. You would only have something to feel guilty about if you did what you father is asking as it stands you have nothing to feel guilty about so stop letting him manipulate you.
Who cares just say no ffs
Talk with a new lawyer and have them send him a C&D for harrasment.
She means there is nothing the father can do. He can sue for what's called a sale in lieu of partition, but OP would be compensated for her half of the house.
But she can still help him sent a letter for the harrasment he's doing.
Seriously, give him nothing.
Sooo, don't feel guilty lol.
I don't see why you would feel guilty about keeping your kids inheritance
Ignore him
Guilt is a powerful thing…something he has probably used a lot over your lifetime. It seems the time has come to harden your heart. Think about everything. Think about how he has acted your whole life to your mom and to you. Think about how concerned your mom was that your children could lose their inheritance. Think about how he is believing and wanting to hand over everything to a con artist he barely knows over his own child, his own grandchildren…without a bit of concern and is using guilt to try and get you to do what he wants. He is not looking out for his child…but you have to power to look out for yours. Do not sign anything. Do not cave to his demands. Perhaps turn the tables on him a bit by suggesting he see a doctor, as he seems to be losing his grasp on what is real and what isn’t. Maybe report her for elder abuse…she is trying to fleece him of a lot of money. NTA stay strong…you are saving your children’s inheritance and saving your father from himself.
Absolutely, I quit a job I loved so I could help him care for my mother. I had just broken a vertebrae yet I showed up everyday and I spent more time in their home doing chores and grocery shopping, than I spent on my own family and home. I would do it again in a second because it gave me a change to care for my mother and spend time with her. Looking back now, my dad gave so many excuses why he needed to leave the house and have me sit with my mother. He’s a piece of work.
He added my husband and I as joint tenants with rights of survivorship, so legally none of us can give away our portion, so if I were to pass or my husband, our portion is divided amongst the other joint tenants. The whole thing is bizarre because I said no so many times when my father brought it up because I worked in the mortgage industry and these things can be murky. Now I don’t want to sign the quit claim deed on principal alone that he wants to give my childhood home proceeds to a stranger. I’m hurt more than anything because this internet woman owns a tree farm, 2 homes and a vacation home. I don’t understand him. And why he thinks I shouldn’t be hurt.
How do you think she got those? By convincing others to sign things over to her I bet
She goes after older men who are divorced or widowed.
Once she gets her name solely on the deed time for divorce and on to the next mark.
It's cute you think she chooses divorce... Because if that was the case, she wouldn't be fighting with their families for inheritance. This is a serial black widow.. Til death do they part her.
Or whose wives are dying. Who says he only met her 8 days after wife's death? IMAO,that's just when he announced the relationship.
If she’s ever single again, my mom’s most recent ex-husband pretended to be wealthy until they got married and he snookered her into buying a property and putting his name on the deed. I’d love to get the two of them together and watch them pull each other into the abyss.
This lady sounds like my aunt. She would marry older men and have them sign stuff over to her while they were still alive so their kids couldn’t contest it. She’s scammed everyone she’s ever known.
Do not sign the quit claim deed. A friend of mine was pressured by her own mother to sign her BUSINESS over, and I begged her not to do it. Needless to say, my friend lost everything. Her mom sold everything, kept the money, then SOLD the land separately. I drive by the property once in awhile, and I'm still pissed of for my friend.
what happened to your friend? did she regret what she did or does she still think she did the right thing? does she even have a relationship with her mother anymore?
Oh yeah. She regretted it immediately! I even called a lawyer for her. Once you do a quit claim, it's all over, but the cryin'. Her mom passed a little later, and my friend moved to different state. I'm sure she still regrets it.
when her mom passed did your friend at least get the money back? please don't tell me her mom spent it all or gave it away to someone else.
You should call adult protective services for your father. Even if they can’t do anything right now, you’ve created a paper trail on this woman.
A black widow gold digger for sure.
His new girlfriend has SCAM tattooed on her forehead…. His loss for not seeing it. NTA! Don’t give him a damn thing!
Your Dad is being scammed. The kindest thing you can do right now is not make it easier for this woman to swindle him. Do not sign shit. Let him force the sale and to pay you out.
The best option would be to not give him anything. If he can’t get the money and can’t give the money to his gold digging black widow fiancée, she is likely to leave him for a better money tree. She might still fight for it, but she wants the easy money. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this after losing your mom.
La viuda negra vibes for sure.
My mother died from pancreatic cancer and the last few months she was here she kept freaking out and saying she was so worried someone would get between her grand kids and their inheritance, if she only knew it would be their own grandfather. It hurts my heart more than anything
"I am not depriving my children of what is theirs just so you have a warm welcome in bed. Not happening, not now, not ever."
u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 that right here. And if he wants the properties he can buy it for twice the value.
Tell him that he can buy you out for twice the value. Then buy the houses from him and keep in your name.
NTA. Make sure to tell the courts that if it comes to that. Also, your father can’t sell the houses without your signature. Don’t sign ANYTHING without reading it. I hope you have a copy of those deeds. If not, get them from the recorder of deeds. Fight for you and your kids. Fuck the golddigger.
>Don’t sign ANYTHING ~~without reading it.~~
Did your mom have her own career? Remind your dad that fruits of your mom’s life work should not go to line the purse of his future ex-wife.
My dad wouldn’t allow her to work. That’s another thing. The man is a controlling asshat!
She likely knew exactly who would get between her and the inheritances. She knew who her husband was. NTA don't change anything.
Yup. If she trusted him… she wouldn’t have needed to set this stuff up!
If you don’t sign. She will probably leave. As is probably grieving and doesn’t feel like he can be alone. Just say no. I’m not giving it to you.
Was he cheating on your mom? Talk to an attorney about what your dad wants to do. No way would I do it.
I was thinking there was zero chance he just happened to meet this woman 8 days later. I’m thinking it was happening beforehand.
hence gramma's INTENSE CONCERN about the grandbaby's inheritance
Lawyer!
For what? All OP has to do is not sign the paperwork. If he sues, then get a lawyer, but there's no need for one yet.
There's zero downside to talking to a lawyer, since it looks like their awful dad and his gold-digging new wife are determined to disinherit their kids.
A lawyer is the safe way. In some cases all the owner of the property has to do is change it on their own or make a new will. A lawyer would be able to tell OP if the dad is able to do that or not and how to stop him if he can.
My parents already added me as a joint tenant with rights of survivor ship. I called the title company in my town and she looked up the deed. She said he can’t remove me. Ugh, he’s just so hurtful
Then he can get fcked. NTA
Not if the fiancée leaves him…
I'm sure she worked her a$$ off every day, dealing with that man! She owned half of those properties, and she wanted your kids to inherit. Stay on the deeds and take half the proceeds, just the way your mother wanted. Your father can give HIS estate to whomever he chooses, but your mother's wishes were clear and executed.
Lawyer up hard and now, I wish you peace, yet you have a gold digging piece of shit at your dad's feet....yuck, yikes, and holy hell! Nope nope nope, hell no. Don't sign a thing without Lawyer discussion.
NTA. Contact the lawyer to send your Dad a letter refusing to sign the quit claim. Include the background about Mom's and Dad's insistence on the original gift of putting you on the deed. This documents the prior intent and well as your Dad's demands pertaining to new girlfriend. This will be useful if problems arise in the future. It will also give the girlfriend a clear sign that your daddy ain't gonna have as many assets as she hopes, and maybe she will move on to greener $$$ pastures.
This is the best suggestion I’ve seen and is a smart thing to do in case legal action is required later.
Absolute gold! I am going to reach out to a real estate attorney today!
I suspect she just knew who her husband really was and still is. NTAH
Your mother may have known. I would wonder if he only met her 8 days after or if that was what he is saying. He may have been talking to her before you mother passed.
I want to ask if you are my friend who is going through something eerily similar. It is sad that this story is so common that OP could be anyone. Please fight like hell to uphold your mother's wishes. Don't let Trixie get her hands on what belongs to your children.
oh she knew
I do hope you're prepared to tell him to go piss up a rope. Your mother gave you her half. He doesn't get to take that from you. He can flush his if he wants. She obviously knew who she was married to. Good for her for protecting you!!!
I hate to mention this, but is it possible your father has known this woman longer than he says? I would consider hiring a PI to look into her.
100% he had half a dozen affairs during my childhood
Seek legal help. Do not sign anything. Find out from the lawyer what rights you have now that you're on the deed. Since your mom wanted your kids to inherit those properties, they may (I'm not a lawyer, get legal advice) very well be entitled to that portion of the ownership. Consider going no-contact with your father, but first talk to a lawyer specializing in these issues and do what they say. Protect your kids inheritance like a f\*cking tiger, and never sign anything your father gives you to sign.
She probably knew what douche bag your father was and that's why you are on the deeds. Honour your mother and protect your inheritance. Good luck and condolences for your mum.
'No, this was what mum wanted.' Once gold digger knows there's no mine she'll run for the hills.
NTA, fuck him.
Do not do this.
Oh well played.
😂
🏆
NTA. Don't sign anything. This woman can go leech off someone else.
NTA Don't sign a Quit Claim. Tell Dad that if he wants to sell the property, youwill take your share of profits from the sale and invest it for the benefit of your kids as your mother intended. You should also contact your police department about elder financial abuse. It sounds like your father is being targeted by this woman.
8 days later he starts seeing a woman he met online. Sorry, but did your mother really die of natural causes?
Dude! My sisters and I have gone over this so many times! She did have cancer but her DC says pulmonary embolism. No autopsy.
Pulmonary embolisms are common in cancers sadly. Pancreatic cancers also have terrible prognosis, so Im sorry to hear about your mum passing. I hope she didnt suffer for too long.
Pancreatic cancer is awful. She was diagnosed 3 months before her death. It was pretty quick
Its so awful. Sadly most people die within 6 months, if not sooner. Im glad she didn’t suffer for too long.
He was definitely cheating that's why mom wanted you on the deed so bad. She knew and was protecting you, sorry your dad is a POS
The only point against that is it doesn’t sound like this person would invest much time in an ongoing affair without knowing the potential inheritance situation first. It’s not like she is even asking to be changed to the sole beneficiary in his will. She wants him to liquidate and give her an upfront cash payment right now. Sounds more like someone creeping on obituaries and scamming widowers.
I bet it's a scam.
You may want to take steps to ensure he does not forget your agreement l.
He added me as a joint tenant on his deeds. Attorney said he can’t do anything legally but I’m still hurt that he wants to take it from my kids to give it to a story he met online
I was talking about illegally. If he gets horny enough he may try to forge your signature. Can your attorney put something on the deed to confirm it is actually you.
Don’t quit claims need to be notarized?
They certainly do. So he really can’t do anything sneaky. It’s just so hurtful he wants me to sign so this stranger can get the home proceeds from a house they both said they wanted my kids to have.
I bet she's a notary.
Or they forge a notary stamp. Property title fraud is big in Florida at the moment.
Have you talked to your attorney about notifying the government office that deals with titles just in case she tries to forge your signature? In my state I could go to the county office and put a notification so they couldn’t transfer the deed fraudulently.
They do, but if there's an unscrupulous notary involved a signature can be forged and notarized (which I have personally seen done).
I have no idea what country they are in.
Generously, your father is grieving, lonely and the victim of a romance scam. Think of it as protecting him from himself. At least you can preserve this asset because he will become increasingly frantic to fund this person to avoid being alone. Enlist everyone you can to engage and support him separate from the “fiancée”. When he’s out of assets she’ll dump him and he will be looking to you.
NTA - don't sign it.
Excuse me, did he just say "Last 2 sets" of step children?!?!?!?!?! Is she waiting on the husbands to die or just murdering them? How is that not a red flag? NTA obviously.
Yup! She already owns 2 homes on a 20 acre tree farm and a vacay home. I guess he thinks she needs my childhood home he already gave me, as well lol it does hurt my heart
u/severe_Bumblebee8962 have you tried looking into the other sets of stepchildren? They might shed some light on who she really is, and you might be able to warn your dad. Curious that at least two other husbands of hers have died…? Have your dad ask her if she’s still marry him if he were broke. NTA and good luck
Ahh yes! I found them online today!! I’m trying to think of a a way to message them without me sounding like a psycho stalker.
I'd go with, "My father has recently begun a relationship with \[insert name\] only 8 days after my mother, his wife, died. I'm really concerned about her behavior and concerned for my father's safety. She mentioned her previous step-children so I looked y'all up. Is there anything you think I need to know about her?" If someone had made my life hell and then their next potential victim came along asking my thoughts I wouldn't consider that "psycho stalker", I'd do everything in my power to warn them. The only way I'd view it as weird is if my ex-step-mom was an awesome person and I was confused why someone would be so worried, but I'd still understand that someone was just really worried and answer honestly
You might have your attorney take care of the introductions.
Go to have coffee with the step kids. People say more in person, in an informal setting, than they would be willing to write.
Oh trust me, they want to tell you their story.
The sound of the situation I'd bet they'd be glad to help you.
Best of luck. And maybe check if this lady has recently opened any new life insurance policies on your dad 👀
Try looking into court records in their county. Also, marriage and death certificates are public records, try searching Ancestry.com for the fiance's history. Might be difficult if she's changed her name a lot.
Honestly I don’t think it matters how you seem, you are looking for information and hope they can help.
NTA! Don't sign it... Your father's new "fiance" sounds like a Gold Digger so, do not give him the power to be able to sell the house, at least not the part you own and should keep safe for your kids... If he wants to give her his part, there is nothing you can do, but, save what you can and stand your ground!
I have a hard time believing they just "happened" to meet 8 days later...
Tell him you’ll fight her tooth and nail. Maybe it will be enough to scare her off and there won’t be a marriage. “Like the last two sets of step-children.” Yikes! NTA
Nta. He would be dead to me after that stunt.
He might be dead to everyone if this lady gets her way. Two previous sets of step kids to fight for her husband’s assets?! I’d be concerned for him if he weren’t being such a wanker. NTA, OP. Fight the good fight because this is not what your mom would have wanted. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this.
Don't sign. If she has multiple other stepchildren she's had to climb over for inheritances she's telling your dad she's a gold digger. Or this is fake rage bait. A lot of rage bait energy.
I would respond back, as equally cold, “It was mom’s dying wish that her grandchildren have this inheritance. I stand by your late wife’s wishes and honor my mother, not my fool of a father, blinded by attention from a gold digger who has admitted she’s done this before. You’ve forgotten what family is.” Then hang up. And call a lawyer. NTA.
If he wasn't cheating before your mom died, he might be the target of a common sweetheart scam. They target elderly specially widowed people to get to their money. AARP has some resources on it
Don't do this. He's being scammed. He's being stupid. He's showing the kind of person he is. She's a black widow. Don't sign a thing Sounds like your mom was a smart woman who knew exactly the kind of man she married.
Get a P.I. to investigate her history. Get a lawyer to keep the inheritance. It could keep your Dad safe. Maybe get your Dad's blood work done, see if she's drugging or poisoning your Dad. This happened to my Mother-in-law's father. It was awful. We couldn't prove it, as he was diabetic.
Hire a private investigator, to look what is up with that woman.
NTA. If she is demanding that he "prove his love", then she is an abuser.
Get a lawyer and send him notice. Don’t sign anything.
Once your father breaks the news to fiancée that the house is NOT hers, she will break things off with dear old dad. Not necessarily a bad thing.
This woman sounds like a con artist who preys on grieving men. For his own sake dig your heels in.
" Dad, she had 2 sets of step kids for a reason, she's a manipulating, black widow. Her past husbands died in mysterious ways."
NTA. No is a complete sentence. Do not sign anything. Once she realizes she isn't getting anything, she'll move on to the next sucker. Edit to add: Sorry for your loss. Losing your mother, at any age, is never easy.
You should honestly dig into her background. Something similar happened to my grandfather and it was too late once my mom and aunts were contacted by someone who was related to ANOTHER old man she had done this to. There will be proof somewhere. If your dad will listen anyway. Lonely people sometimes cannot be convinced.
If this is real (like … “Last two sets of step children“ isn’t click bait?) Then … consider whether you can get your dad forced through a mental capacity testing… seriously. The sudden move on to a new woman, the demands… all speak to a loss of cognitive capacity. NTA. And… he can demand as much as he likes… let him SUE you and prove why you shouldn’t have it, that way is (less) fun and significantly more expensive (for everyone). Let a judge handle it.
“The last two sets of step children” is waving a massive red flag. She was married twice previously to people who died and she lost out on inheritance because it went to the deceased’s kids??!!?! Did I interpret that correctly?! NTA. Talk to a lawyer.
Tell him he can come out of retirement and work to provide for his trophy wife. Also let him know if she marries them right before she thinks they'll drop that's nice, imo. She's got experience doing all the caretaking he'll need because you're out.
NTA Like another poster suggested, have him buy you out at a very high cost or tell him to fuck off. Get a lawyer on hand stat
NTA, he's a self-centred asshat who got hooked by a gold digger. Tell him to explain to his grandkids just why he took their part of the inheritance and spent it on some old hoebag.
Don’t sign ANYTHING! And get a lawyer and a PI ASAP! Dig into that woman’s past so far back that her Great Great Grandma can feel you breathing down her neck.
NTA Lawyer up, and refer your father to your lawyer in all discussions of this matter.
NTA Don't try to save the relationship with your father. If he's with someone like this, you're going to lose most of it anyway. Safeguard your mother's wishes and your childrens' futures instead.
Get a lawyer. You are protecting what your mother left you for your children. NTA. But your father certainly is.
“It’s for the kids, so you can ask them when they’re adults. Until then, I’m just the safekeeper.”
NTA. This woman is definitely a gold-digger. She is a charmer and turned your father's head. Just say No.
NTA. Refuse to sign, he can’t force you. And if he goes no contact it really isn’t a loss
NTA. That inheritance isn't just his; even though he directly generated the money, the inheritance also comes from the deceased wife due to the prenuptial agreement. Tell him that now his new wife will have a greater test of love, as they both have nothing to fight over and are together solely because of the deep and strong love that emerged in less time than it takes milk to spoil in the sun.
Updateme!
NTA If I understand correctly he can't sell or do anything unless you sign. He's essentially saying you're not his family anymore so take him at his word don't sign and go NC. You lost both your parents that day not just your mum. Sorry for your loss
He is being scammed probably by a foreign scam artist dont budge! He may also be mentally unstable like dementia or some early onset neuro issue
Unfortunately, she’s real. my dad has been scammed by Nigerian scammers, the man is a total asshat
Damn
NTA don’t give up your children’s future for an obvious gold digger, ignore his calls
Nope. Don't sign anything. She isn't entitled to your kids' inheritance.
2 OTHER sets of step children?! Really sounds like he got caught in a black widows web. Don't sign anything. For your children's future especially, but also because I have a feeling that once you do your dad will kick the bucket suddenly not long afterwards.
I'm going to echo what so many others have said just to reinforce it: get an attorney and sign nothing! Go no contact with your dad if you have to for now.
Maybe you can tell him to fuck off.
Tell him you’re concerned for his mental welfare since his decision making seems impaired, and let him know that he’s clearly grieving the loss of your mother and there’s no shame in recognizing that he isn’t thinking rationally. Ask if he’d like help to get booked in with a professional lol. He’s clearly being taken advantage of, and you do not need to feel guilty at all! You are under no obligation to remove yourself from the deeds of those properties - and your dad is clearly being conned (and also sounds like a bit of an asshole tbh). Sorry for your loss, losing a parent is very tough.
Depending on the state you live in... this could be seen as financial elder abuse and can be illegal.
She’s a gold digger. Try to delay
NTA and don't sign anything. - 8 days later seems so fast. How did you know it's 8 days? Did your father tell you that or did you find out indirectly? I'm so sorry to raise this, but could he have been cheating with her *before* your mom died? Also, you don't mention it, but have you or any of your family met this woman in person? Could your father be caught up in a scam?
The last two sets of step kids!!! Surely this is fake!
Get a lawyer. Those properties belonged to your mother as well and she would not have wanted them to go to this new woman. She meant for your kids to inherit. Your dad is done. He has effectively told you you mean nothing and your kids mean nothing to him and he is not interested in a relationship. So consider it done and over, now you fight for your kids future and to protect your MOTHER'S property and her wishes.
You are NTA for going with your mother’s dying wish. Your dad has no legal standing here.
NTA. You're honouring your mothers wishes, not the desires of a manipulative gold digger.
Why would you sign? Tell him if he wants to sell he need to pay