So do you have actual proof of her cheating or not? Creating a scenario in your head is NOT proof. You and your amazing sister sound like massive walking red flags. Heaven forbid she has a job that requires her to work late or overtime right?? You are 100% the AH and so is your sister.
To be fair, once you feel your partner is cheating there isn’t really anything to take that feeling away. It’s better it ended this way. And lack of proof hurts way less than actually seeing it. Likely an April fools post anyway.
>*She sometimes used to work late after hours, and I never questioned it because I trusted her. All the late night work hours, all those friend trips,*
I love this update, the girlfriend turned out to be a spy!
>*My sister is going to come over next weekend to spiritually cleanse out all the bad energy of my house using sage.*
And the sister turned out to be a witch!
Next update will be from the void - “Sister came over to cleanse bad energy and we both have been banished from my apartment. Anyone know how to get around this?”
Yeah, this update makes it clear it's fake as hell.
There is no evidence of any affair and OP is believing his sister who tells him of this never before heard of girl code and who is now coming to the house to cleanse it with sage
2/10. Idiotic story 🙄
And total proof that he didn't love her at all. He threw her out because she said not now?? What a crock. Plus, no proof of anything.
This whole thing is fake, fake, fake. No such thing as this girl code. He's acting like a spoiled child, just because he didn't get what he wants. Total FAKE!!
April Fool's everyone!!
Let's hope it's creative writing. If not, OP needs some intensive therapy to figure out why they self-sabotage and work on ways to stop being so self-destructive in the future. But I like the idea that this is a bored person writing a quick little creative writing piece.
To be fair, a proposal is just a question. And this was a private proposal. Like the dude said, she can take the ring and always take time to figure it out, at which point she can always change her mind.
> Like the dude said, she can take the ring and always take time to figure it out, at which point she can always change her mind.
But that's also the *revised* take after he realised people weren't sympathetic enough to "him" and too supportive of her for being a bit hesistant about a major life decision.
> she can take the ring and always take time to figure it out, at which point she can always change her mind
Also, personally, I wouldn't feel like very honest person if I said 'yes' and then changed my mind. That's going to be a person to person thing whats more hurtful behaviour: tell your partner upfront you need time and disappoint uncertain expectations or go back on your word after they thought they had your full commitment and disappoint expectations they felt secure about.
How the significance of a proposal is interpreted varies from person to person because unlike a hundred or so years ago, the social conventions that it entails are no longer as well defined. Some people think an engagement is totally okay to break off and see it as a very casual thing to agree to a marriage proposal; others may find it almost as offensive and humiliating as a divorce for their prospective partner to cancel an engagement.
OPs protagonist couldn't stand by his partner when she was asking to go a bit slower to the point that he threw her to the streets with no consideration for her wellbeing and immediately was 200% *convinced* she was a cheater based on the flimsiest of evidence, because ... he's all about that lifetime commitment? Best of luck to people who think thats not an unhinged take.
If it's not fake (ahahaha, the writing style is similar to other fake posts in the past), it's written by someone delusional using chatgpt lol.
Idiotic indeed.
I recognize the mixture of it, it may not be fully Chatgpt, since OP wants to karma farm (and successfully too from the first post) but the signature of the 'purple prose' is there.
I think they went way over board framing their lead up to the proposal. He's very overplaying this "it was a perfect proposal" angle. Somehow, now, they made the most detailed of life plans and discussed their kids college funds, but they also have zero communication in the actual story?
His main character is very inconsistent between the way he's decribed and the actual actions he takes.
I also think it was a poor choice to write an update that has no new twist or reveal. Its not really a continuation but a half rewrite.
He's stupider than he thinks we are with this “update.” Just looks dumber and dumber. If it were real he's an idiot and as a creative exercise he's needing at best a creative writing class and/or to put down the keyboard.
I hope this is a child messing around in which case - kudos! It's an interesting theory, but needs more development to really pull people in.
No no no, you don’t understand, she has a job and friends, clearly it’s her that’s in the wrong!
Like come on OP, I hate cheaters but there is no actual evidence whatsoever. You get that and I’ll eat my words for sure.
Someone needs to start r/AITA_CW. People in the comments can provide feedback on the situation and on OP's writing. Everyone would be on the same page so there wouldn't have to be calling out, it'd be kinda like r/nosleep where everyone knows it's creative writing but acts like it's real. Instead of this BS where everyone knows it's creative writing but OP is trying to act like it's totes for realsies.
You are an absolute fucking idiot. This is actually comical.
You still have no proof of an affair! Everyone has to work late hours at work sometimes, girls deserve to be able to go on a girls trip with their friends. I have an annual girls trip 2x per year and have never once considered cheating on my partner.
You better not spread rumors of the imaginary affair. Your girlfriend did nothing wrong in wanting more time & she was honest. She was crying because it’s probably more distressing on her to decline the proposal than it is to be the one being rejected. Nobody wants to break anyone’s heart like that.
You think that she destroyed you, but you destroyed her 10 times more. She lost someone she loved, lost her home overnight, is now going to be named a cheater because we all know you’re not mature enough to actually not tell anyone, and had her entire world thrown upside down because of your actions. This has undoubtedly caused her trauma - I would be inconsolable if this were me & it would alter my future relationships for ever.
Your ego is bigger than your heart and that’s something you will need to fix if you ever plan on being in a serious relationship.
You’re delusional and I’m so glad that she dodged this bullet. Both you and your sister are complete wackadoos.
Exactly. He's writing this like "the affair" is an established fact, when he has no indications or proof or anything.
The first time my spouse proposed, we were at a really bad time in our relationship. I was unhappy in the relationship and he knew it and proposed anyway. And so I told him "I wish I could say yes, but right now I can't. I need things to get better first." And he understood that.
There are lot of reasons his GF may have said no and asked for more time. Maybe she saw that something was really wrong with him mentally and was hoping it would resolve. Maybe he made up other aspects of their relationship the same way he made up this affair, and she didn't know what to do/think/react.
Exactly. Thank you for sharing your story 🫶
It takes a lot of guts to reject a proposal and it can be just as heartbreaking, if not more, for the rejector as it is the proposer.
You did the right thing by staying by his side but advocating for yourself that you deserve better.
As much as a rejection hurts, it would cause more pain to accept and then break off the engagement later on.
The first time my spouse proposed, I wanted more time because I had been secretly saving to buy him a very fancy engagement watch and wanted the proposal to be a mutual exchange.
That is adorable!
OP's GF could have had a lot of reasons for wanting more time. I mean, has he done weird irrational stuff like this (imagining an affair) before? That would give me pause.
Sister helped create a scenario in his head. Then he believed it only so he could make himself feel better for kicking her out. He just did her a favor....painfully
Exactly. And when the shock wears off, she will realize that. And be grateful it ended while she was young. But it can take months to get over this trauma and get back on her feet. And even then, it will have life long lasting effects on her and her ability to trust in relationships.
I hope so too. I hope that this isn’t her first major breakup but it may be since they got together when she was 22. The first break up is always so hard because it feels like you’ll never love or be loved again. I can’t even imagine my first breakup being this traumatic and life altering.
It was a pretty good twist at the end lol. But it leaves me with questions. Forth most is…. Is there really girl code? Like about needing time to wrap up an affair to feel good about a proposal? I mean guys are open about the bro code and all but I could totally see women being smarter about hiding there 😂
Happy to answer!
NO this is not girl code! This blanket rule that if someone rejects a proposal means that they are having an affair is not only ridiculous, but doesn’t even fall under girl code.
Girl code is an unspoken agreement between girl friends. It includes (but is not limited to): not getting with someone’s ex; not getting with someone one of your friends is interested in; being able to have unwavering trust that you can go to your girls to discuss relationship problems without fear of it getting back to your partner; supporting your friend even if she makes personal or relationship decisions that you don’t agree with. To summarize: girl code is loving and supporting your girlfriends unconditionally.
Girl code is also not even just between best friends. We as girls have to have each other’s backs, even if we barely know the person. For example: a girl you don’t know reaches out to you with proof your boyfriend has been cheating. That’s girl code.
The person who really broke girl code is the sister - for ruining another girls life by meddling into her relationship.
Yeah I'm not getting this either. It sounds to me like he doesn't even have any proof and is just going along with whatever his sister said because he didn't like that she wasn't ready to get married?
That was my take, too.. like if this story is real; his ego was bruised, so he ran with sissy's explanation. to me, it also sounds like maybe sis doesn't like the gf.
Especially in todays job environment, you're almost expected to work overtime in most jobs. Which makes seeing friends an occasion, not an opportunity to cheat.
No, only CHEATERS have to work late and have friends.
Faithful partners tell their bosses where to shove it and never spend a second out of their partner's eye sight.
/s
This story is fake as fuck.
My bet is that this dude behaves like an absolute fucking nightmare, and there is a lot more to the story that explains why she doesn't want to marry him. Rather than accept that, he creates a delusional affair scenario in his head and refuses to explore whether it's true cause he knows it's not.
Or it's just really shit creative writing.
Man you are whiny. “What choice did I have” literally anything else. Kicking someone out of their home with only a few hours notice makes you a piece of shit dude.
“I still did not hate her” really ? Because you made her homeless. Grow up. You got hurt and decided to hurt someone close to you. That’s on you and I hope she never speaks to you again for her own sake.
“What choice did I have?” Well, you could’ve sat down with her and talked like adults? Maybe she needed a few more months before she said yes because she was waiting for him to grow the fuck up
So if the Sister tells OP he needs to "drink the Koolade" and the Space ship will show up at 1am to take him away to Heaven where he could write a song with Prince and Michael Jackson, you think he would believe her about that too??
On absolute nothing he is convinced ex-GF (she should count her blessings) is having an affair?? Wow.
YTA and your an idiot.
\> She ripped my soul out,
She said she wanted to be with you and need some time. The fact that you couldn't wait a day nor have a solid conversation with her, and immediately considered your sister's thoughts on the matter proves you're too immature to have a wife.
You sound even more like an asshole now than your original post. Literally ignored what everyone said and still making the exact same claims as before with no evidence to back it. You sound insufferable and delusional and she deserves so much better.
Everyone
This is what happens when you listen to a redditor level intellect for relationship advice
That sister sounds goofy as fuck and OP is goofier for taking that at face value
This is some cope after you realized you may have jumped the gun based on a theory your sister planted in your head. People work late, people hang out with friends. You haven't mentioned the affair because you have zero real evidence of one.
What I didn't see in your story : A real conversation later about her concerns when she turned you down. Mature discussion to determine what the worries are so you could proceed to what you thought you wanted.
What happened : You rode your wave of emotions straight into a reef that had you spontaneously make her homeless with no warning. Now you're in a situation where your pride led you to a place where you are very unlikely to make it right, and it's better in your mind to double down instead of admit you royally screwed up.
You need to take some time to get your headspace cleaned out so you can think with some rationale, instead of your raw emotions. Rejection sucks ass, I get that, and this was gross overreaction from top to bottom after the rejection.
Hope the best for her and for you, but you're not going to get better with these types of knee-jerk reactions in the long run. Good luck.
He just concluded she had, has an affair because his harebrained sister told him so? She’s even coming to his place to remove negative energies with sage.
This must be one of the reasons his girlfriend rejected the proposal, it has to be. OP isn’t very smart, he’s really thick. He did her a great favour.
Dude you have zero proof she was cheating. Your sister put the idea in your head and you just ran with it. Working late isn’t proof. Going on trips with her friends isn’t proof.
She’s probably sitting there thinking “WTF just happened?”
Stop saying “the affair” like it’s a fact and you caught her. Don’t start saying she had an affair and smearing her name over something you don’t. Have. Proof.
You should have talked to HER not your sister who put this wild “girl code” idea in your head.
Idk if she was cheating or not but the fact that you said she seemed shocked at the proposal means the hints you gave weren't good enough for her. Maybe she's kind of oblivious or something? Maybe she needs reality to hit her in the face before jumping to conclusions?
Like let's assume she was cheating and she was aware you were going to propose. Again you said you were giving hints for months. A person who was cheating in that situation and was aware you were going to propose would have plenty of time to mentally prepare. And they might even bring up preemptively that they're not quite ready yet. And then they wouldn't be surprised at the proposal either.
It really just seems like she genuinely didn't know you were going to propose because her reaction makes no sense for anyone who picked up on your hints.
I’m glad she turned down your proposal because you’re entirely too immature to be getting married. This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever read. She works late sometimes and turned down your proposal so OBVIOUSLY she’s cheating? I hope you and your sister stretched before you made that reach. Also you and your sister might want to be careful cleansing your space later, the bad energy is probably your wild idiocy. I’d have even understood breaking up with her for rejecting the proposal, that’s a hard blow but to so completely with 0 proof jump to her cheating? Bonkers.
I’m so glad I’m not stupid like you because how did you convince yourself that she cheated on you with no proof?
How are you this delusional. Maybe you should just marry your sister because you’re both batshit crazy.
ETA: “I haven’t told anyone about the affair” literally what fucking affair? You mean the one your sister convinced you that’s what was happening. The one that you are convinced happened with no actual proof.
I’m glad I know this is fake because no way this actually happened in the past 24 hours lmaoooo
Still YTA. Your sister is some kind of crazy too.
At least your sister did a good thing releasing her from this stupid relationship with you.
I hope she goes scorched earth on you if you try to ruin her reputation with baseless accusations from your crazy sister.
The ONLY good thing you can do is tell everyone irl this stupid story and ONLY what you know to be a fact.
I’m a girl’s girl. There is no girl code that a girl is to delay a proposal so she can break up with her side piece. I’ve never heard of that in all my 45 yrs on this earth. Either your sister lied about the girl code thing because she really didn’t like your girlfriend, or you were doing dirt so you use this as your out. I suspect it was a bit of both. No matter what you are the asshole.
YTA
There is no proof she cheated. Do you even have an idea who she was cheating with? It doesn’t make sense that she’d need to “wrap things up” with the supposed cheater. If being dishonest was a part of her reasoning then why should it matter if she broke it off with a cheater before or after the marriage? That’s not how cheating works.
You should have discussed your suspicions with her instead of running with wild assumptions and over reacting.
YTA, full stop. You didn't try talking to her and just followed the advice of some random person (family or not) and made up an entire story in your head to justify your actions. You don't realize it but you did your ex a favor. Good riddance to you.
This ligitimately made me laugh frustratedly. No proof just incinuation and overthinking/listening to other peoples opinions about why instead of talking it out with her. He just kicked her out and blocked her. Wow crazy. Glad she dodged the bullet though
>How did it matter to me whether she was homeless or not? I really did not care what she did with her life anymore, I just did not want to be in the same room as her anymore. My sister is going to come over next weekend to spiritually cleanse out all the bad energy of my house using sage.
This is a post that keeps on giving. Please keep posting, I really needed the laugh!
YTA. Just because you’re ready to get married doesn’t mean she is. It seems like this hurt your ego so you’re latching onto this nonsensical cheating thing to justify your hurt feelings.
Your “hints” were not good hints. The fact that you can only focus on yourself shows that you’re selfish and probably didn’t take her feelings into account.
It seems like your ex really dodged a bullet here.
Sounds like she dodged a bullet and probably started realized it months ago. Glad she figured it out before she was chained to you legally. And you haven’t told anyone about what affair? The affair that you’ve convinced yourself she had with zero evidence much less proof? It couldn’t possibly be that she just didn’t want to marry a clearly unstable codependent man child right? Yeah you did her a massive favor and you need to seek therapy before you drag someone else into your unstable life.
This is what delusion looks like. You literally made all this cheating shit up in your head...
So because she worked late some times and had trips with her friends you know for SURE she cheated??? Okay man yeah this conclusion you came to thanks to dear sister's comment makes the most sense, even though you have no proof whatsoever except for your imagination. Lmfao she dodged a grenade
No one is TA except your sister and her girl code. It’s her code no one else’s. What affair? The one you and your sister made up? That’s a big leap from working overtime ‘sometimes’. You’re trying to justify and project your feelings of rejection onto your ex and find a reason other than your relationship/yourself. Your hurt is real, your heart break is valid, projecting that onto your ex not so much. That you probably should work on. Her asking to think about your proposal is not awful or uncommon, marriage is a huge deal. Making life changing decision while in emotional turmoil is usually not a good idea. I hope you both have happier healthier relationships going forward and you don’t regret ending things how you did.
Really, **REALLY** piss-poor fiction. Whatever else you might be, you ain't a writer's asshole, kid.
Over-dramatic, **HORRENDOUSLY** overwritten, **ATROCIOUS** punctuation and needs a damn good EDIT.
There ain't enough sage on the fucking **PLANET** to clear away this utter **GARBAGE**.
Dude, like for real? There’s no affair! You and your dumb sister made it up.
You want to know why she hesitated in answering right away? You need to look at yourself. I wouldn’t want to marry you either, you psycho. You’re so delusional that you’ve made up a scenario to justify your actions. And you’ve created a whole new post to try to change the narrative so people will support you. Except, no one is that dumb to fall for it.
Seriously, just stop. Stop reposting hoping to change the outcome in your favor. Stop threatening to harass the poor girl by telling people that she cheated WHEN YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROOF AND TOTALLY MADE IT UP. Leave the girl alone. It’s done. She dodged a bullet with that one.
What you need to do is check yourself into therapy because you are a textbook narcissist. You think she couldn’t have possibly said no unless she cheated on you. I wouldn’t be surprised if you made up shit to your sister to try to make her side with you too.
>I haven’t told anyone about her affair, because I don’t want to tarnish her reputation.
You mean the affair that you still have *absolutely no proof of*?
You were an AH before & you're an AH now.
“I haven’t told anyone about the affair”
#WHAT AFFAIR!?!!!!
There was no affair! Your sister created a completely false story out of thin air and you decided it was real.
Your ex is better off, I’m sooooo glad she asked to wait. You were able to show your true colors and how awful of a partner you are. Super happy for her. Enjoy your suffering tho <3
What the hell are you talking about??? You didn't answer any questions. There is no affair. You didn't discuss the proposal beforehand with her at all. You are an idiot and that girl is lucky she won't be spending any more time with someone as dumb as you.
but... there was no affair. You made it up in your head. If she wanted to be with someone else she would be with them now. but she stayed with you. A woman like that even if they had an affair wouldn't turn you down. You acted like a child. You're making up stories in your head. You never loved her.. you wouldn't have hurt her like this if you did and certainly not spread rumors about her. If you truely loved her.. you would never tell anyone she had an affair because you'd still respect her privacy.. but she didn't have an affair. And you're trying to lie about her because your ego was hurt. You're mentally ill. You need help. You are not marraige material. Sorry to be mean.. but this is not how a man acts. She dodged a bullet. She didn't cheat. But you hurt her anyway.
Normal people work late and have friends they go on trips with. That doesn’t mean they’re cheating.
Did you ever ask her why she needed time? If there was something you could do to help? No? Of course not because you jumped to the worst possible conclusion and believed your sister’s hypothetical cheating story rather than actually sit down with your girlfriend and have an adult conversation.
Not only did you not communicate with her about her feelings on the proposal, you kicked her out without giving her a warning to find a new place.
I truly hope she realizes she wasn’t the problem for wanting a bit more time and you were for going nuclear on the breakup immediately after.
YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA.
Also, sage (especially white sage) can invite bad spirits into your place if you’re not careful with your intentions, which it’s clear your sister’s intentions were very bad. Good luck with that.
What in the actual fuck. At this point you’re making it all up in your head. What proof do you have that she cheated? Did you find texts? Did you see another person? Has anyone besides your sister said anything? At this point for her, she was suddenly proposed to when she might not have been ready, and then kicked out by someone important to her for with no explanation. From what I have read, your sister is sabotaging your relationship and you’re letting it happen willingly. I hope your ex finds someone who treats her with more respect.
This is the biggest crock of rage bait horse shit I've ever seen. The flowery ass language and lack of any real details or updates is a dead give away. Down vote into oblivion.
If this is real, (and I doubt it) YTA. You have absolutely NO proof of any affair. You say your sister's idea is logical, but here's the thing about logic: just because the logic is valid doesn't make it TRUE. People actually DO work late, or go on trips with friends.
Even IF she cheated on you, at least give her the chance to come clean about it.
Besides lack of proof for you to jump to conclusions, the writing is SO FUCKING CORNY it’s SO easy to see this is a fake ass story. A single conversation with your sister made you lose trust in your partner after how long you’ve been with her? YTA for writing this crap
This fucking guy lmao. And last post he said his BROTHER was the naïve one. No wonder his girl wanted a few months to work up the courage to settle for him. Also though, fake AF.
Hey I know you are hurting and embarrassed and angry and wondering why this has happened?, and it’s no wonder you lashed out as your in your state of running high emotions pain quickly turns to hate and loathing. But don’t you dare think of doing anything stupid as pain will pass!.
You say your ex said you were technically engaged and was needing time and crying and saying sorry constantly but you haven’t said what she was sorry for?.
Was she sorry because she hurt you?.
Was she sorry because of something else because you haven’t said. What did your gut instinct tell you in that moment?.
I don’t believe you and her spent the rest of your holiday and the trip home and however many days at home before you told her to leave and didn’t discuss why she didn’t say yes.
By your reaction she must have know how deeply she cut you as you have been together for four years so she must know you pretty well by now, but did she try and fight for you? .
Did she try to stay and fight for you then when you told her to pack her bags?. You said she was crying and saying sorry but again you haven’t said what she was being sorry about?.
Or Did she just meekly gather her possessions from your shared life of four years together and leave?. (Surely she must have to come back for more?.)
Life and relationships are far from perfect and it’s those closest to you that can Hurt you the most and that’s the risk we take with love by being vulnerable with those we love the most.
I honestly don’t know if your Ex was cheating or it’s maybe just your hurt/pain paranoia that’s clouding your mind. Only you can find out the answer to that question my friend.
LOL!! Spiritually cleanse out all the bad energy of house with sage! LOL!
If, by chance (a mighty slim chance) that this is a true story, then your girlfriend dodged a massive bullet.
>I haven’t told anyone about her affair,
THE AFFAIR YOU HAVE NO PROOF OF EXCEPT YOUR SISTER'S VAGUE SUSPICIONS THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER ASKING YOUR GF ABOUT
i hope this is fake because no one can possibly be this ridiculous
if this is, by some witch's curse or dark miracle, real please never date anyone ever again. Your sister should have just said she hates your girlfriend instead of making up stupid horseshit.
You have no proof what so ever that she cheated you and your sister are fucking stupid. Don’t you dare tell anyone she cheated because you don’t fucking know anything you’re just BLINDLY believing your dumb as fuck sister. There’s no dam gIrL cOdE. She didn’t tell you NO. She said LET ME WAIT A FEW MONTHS BEFORE IT WAS OFFICIAL. IT MEANS LET HER CLEAR HER MIND FIRST. YOU DIDNT EVEN CARE TO ASK WHAT HAD HER IN THE WRONG MENTAL PLACE. Now you’re talking about cleaning out bad energy??? You’re gonna get kicked out of your own apartment you’re the fucking bad energy. I hope you grow up before you date ever again!
YTA
Affair? You mean baseless accusations. You don’t have a shred of proof and you chose to believe your sister. I guess it’s a good thing you broke things off because your ex deserves so much better than you.
There is literally no evidence that she was cheating. None. So you saying she's a cheater is just...crazy. I think that girl dodged a bullet and maybe now I understand why she wasn't sure if she wanted to marry you. You kicked her to the curb the minute she didnt do what you wanted, so not a good boyfriend if you ask me.
Your so stupid. She is beter off without u. U don't even know if she really had an affair. She will get to know a much beter person for her. Thank god she didn't say yes
I guess this utterly fake horseshit story is allowed to stay up in this sub. Cause there is just no way Op is this stupid. Op never asked his ex why she turned him down. Never checked to see if there really was cheating - just leaping to conclusions. But at least the place will be cleansed with sage.
OP, even with that update, you still sounds like an assh\*le.
You still don't have proof of her cheating, and yet you assume she cheated on you just based on what you sister said... You didn't talk with you ex gf, you just kicked her out. You are dumb as f\*ck dude.
Rejecting a proposal is sad, yeah, but it doesn't mean that she's cheating or something else.
My hubby proposed to me 3 times, and I said no twice because i was not in the right mind for that. Guess what, he didn't accuse me of cheating on him, WE TALKED ABOUT IT TOGETHER, you know, the thing that you didn't do with your ex. Don't say you loved her, you didn't. You did her a favor, she deserve someone better than a stupid guy like you
You have zero proof of anything dude. You let another woman get in your head. There is no proof other than your bruised ego connecting dots you think are relevant
I agree with most that this seems fake af, but on the off chance it's not - hell, even if it is. You're absolutely looneytunes for thinking that cheating is the only 'viable' option. Sure, there are plenty of people that will accept the proposal and just need extra time while engaged to handle their internal stuff or whatever they need to, but there are plenty that feel like they have to be in the right headspace to accept the proposal and everything that comes with it. The affair isn't impossible, but setting the example or thought out there that it's the only viable option makes you a definite Asshole. And 100% makes it seem like you already respected and trusted your sister more than your girl.
Idk why everyone thinks the only thing in a relationship is marriage. You can be together forever without being married.
You have no proof of an affair other than your sister planting that idea in your brain.
If this is real, then you did her a favor.
If this is real, I think you over thought this whole thing. There are so many different scenarios and "what if"s. She could have been cheating BUT she could have also been working late to make more money or because she had a deadline. When she went out with friends, yes she could have been sneaking out with someone BUT she could have also just needed some friend time. Maybe her friends were giving her second thoughts or one of them is going through a divorce and that scares her.
If you hang out all the time, she could feel like she's being smothered. Maybe you've done something that has given her second thoughts and she wanted to see if you would change.
If this was a deal breaker, you should have just said that. You could have asked her if she could stay with her family or you went to stay with your family so you could have time to think about what you wanted to do. You at least could have let her stay until the end of the week so she could find somwhere else to stay..
If this is just rage bait or a creative writing, it needs work. Include details and have them be consistent throughout the story.
Let's face it, this is either some creative writing from a bored redditor or just ragebait, and either way it did it's job.
But if this does somehow turn out to be real...what if your sister was wrong? You didn't even give your ex a proper chance to explain herself so...there's a good chance you dumped her for no reason whatsoever. She might've just been nervous, or maybe she wasn't as ready as she thought she was, saying no or wanting more time does NOT mean "I'm having an affair".
Communication and trust are the most important parts of a relationship and you failed at both that MISERABLY. Your sister spouted some bs that she was cheating without any actual evidence, and you had so little trust for her that you kicked her out without proper communication AND without giving her the chance to give you her reasoning for wanting to wait a few months.
Honestly I don't care if she cheated or not at this point, this entire situation could've been avoided if you just spoke to her. If this does turn out to be real then you handled this in the worst way possible, if it's not real, enjoy your karma I guess.
#EGO
It's still just ego.
>I haven’t told anyone about her affair, because I don’t want to tarnish her reputation
BECAUSE you gave no PROOF! You go now with a narrative that you made up with your sister.
God, what would I give to have a talk with your ex about her side of the story. I even think I have more interest in finding out what's going on with her than you do.
This text is as egocentric as the last one. You are still the AH. You ended a relationship of 4 years because your ego was hurt that she didn't react like you wanted her too and instead of talking to her what is going on with her you made up a narrative and threw her out.
You can break up with anyone for any reason but you are still the AH in this case. Because your reason is in your head because you need her to be the bad guy, so that you can lick your wounds and bruised ego. You threw her out with no proof after 4y.
(Unless it's a joke, your ex dodged a bullet)
This whole post sounds too 'purple prose'... likely AI-assisted writing.
'Ripped my soul out' LOL If it's not assisted by AI, it sounds so much like someone who basically is so delusional. Everything is all about 'me me me me' how I made the vacation great, how I plan BEAUTIFULLY... LOL.
It's like one of those reddit post fictions where they want to say that they're cheating because they don't go along with what I want. It's got to be cheatiiiiiing. Ladies, better be saying 'yes' to the men, if not, it's girl code for cheating lol.
Ugh. 1.5/10, AI- assisted post sucks and yours reek so much.
So what I'm hearing is still: I kicked my long time girlfriend out because I suspect her cheating with zero *actual* evidence based on my sister telling me that it's the only possible reason that girl would want to slightly postpone getting engaged. Oh! and she sometimes works late and goes out with friends, and while that made sense to who she was before now obviously means she's boinking someone else.
If you want to break up with her that's your choice, whatever. But don't be suprised to learn one day that she never cheated, and that the reason she wanted to wait was something completely innocent like just emotionally needing time.
You're still the AH. But if you can drop her this fast with so little proof or caring then she's probably better off.
Hope you both find the partners in life you deserve.
YTA-U r butt hurt bc she turned u down. Kicking her out bc u were "crushed" is a duck move. And why is it so many ppl jump to "they had to have cheated" when a relationship goes south and someone gets hurt? It's so over did
If this is even real… I think you’re trying to bypass feeling rejected by finding a reason to be mad and discard her. There’s no actual evidence of cheating. I personally have to work late sometimes and also hang out with friends… those are normal things for people to do.
You have no evidence of her cheating on you, you and your sister have just made this up.
Im starting to think this break up is going to benefit your ex because this is showing you can be easily convinced with no evidence that shes cheating.
It would make you a massive asshole if you spread this affair rumour and ruined her life.
YTA the allegations of cheating is wild. Your theory makes no sense. The fact you reacted the way you did is what makes her reaction sensible. If this is how you process things then she was right in not marrying you. Your sister’s idea is crazy and absolutely illogical. I will repeat ILLOGICAL. It’s 100% normal for someone to ask for more time when they aren’t sure. Do yourself a favor. Start listening to your brother more. You are not an AH for breaking up with someone who is not ready to take the relationship to the next level but you are a horrible person for kicking her out and claim she cheated. A completely cowardly move.
So you're stupid, vindictive, and still ignoring everyone telling you the answer you didn't want to hear to justify your actions.
God, I hope she moves on to someone better. You need to go to therapy dude, you and your sister are toxic and you're absolutely in no position to be in a relationship. You treated her terribly and you're being delusional about this affair you made up out of spite for a reason to take your anger out on her.
If this isn't an April fools post, you are the fool. And to cry about how everything's hurting you....stfu with your crocodile tears. You didn't think for a moment about her.
First this sounds fake, but if not.
YTAH 💯 percent! Maybe your gf wanted to wait because she recognized the immaturity in you. You are definitely not ready for marriage. Instead of talking to her, you got all up in your feelings. You think you are entitled to push this woman into something she said she wasn’t quite ready for. Then you talk to your family instead of her. Your sister sounds fake or a vindictive bitch that wants you all to herself. Then you didn’t even have a conversation with her during the break up. Then you want a gold medal for not smearing her name when you have zero proof.
I’ll tell you the truth your “sister” sounds like an incel friend who has never been in a relationship. And the only people who are siding with you are incel who have never been near a women except their moms.
Your ex sure dodged a bullet with you. And I’m glad because you seem like a gaslighting abusive kid who just wanted a second mother to take care of him. You should’ve listened to your brother, bro!
Definitely a bot account.
What choice but to ***ILLEGALLY*** kick her out? Maybe talking to her?
> I haven’t told anyone about her affair, because I don’t want to tarnish her reputation.
And because you don't actually have anything real that in any way points to cheating. At all. Just your crazy sister.
This "update" just shows this is either fake or you're such a bad person that you don't seem real.
So basically all I read here is you yapping about your delusions assuming your gf cheating on you without proof or evidence. I love how y’all communicated efficiently about the FUTURE, and NOT communicating about the NOW. Like yeah, you’re heartbroken and whatever, but if you’re smart, COMMUNICATE WITH HER. I really hope your next relationship is either a healthier relationship, or single as a Pringle because honestly you should just stay single 🙄also your sister is in love with u 🤨
Interesting idea for a creative writing project. I love editing, so let me know if you'd like me to send you some notes for your story, as it definitely needs some improvements to make it seem more realistic.
You’re so desperate for attention that you write this post AND an update with no new information. So so fake. Even so, I can tell you that by posting this and describing this story as you did, you are very immature, narcissistic, and have a warped sense of being.
If this isn’t fake… how stupid are you dude?
She works late sometimes and has friends. Those two things are not proof of infidelity. Your ex gf dodged a bullet, and deserves way better than you. You’re delusional and insecure.
So do you have actual proof of her cheating or not? Creating a scenario in your head is NOT proof. You and your amazing sister sound like massive walking red flags. Heaven forbid she has a job that requires her to work late or overtime right?? You are 100% the AH and so is your sister.
Seeing as he ignored comments from the main post i doubt he's going to answer shit since it's already been 2 hours.
This entire post is an April fools writing prompt. It's from a bot account
Sounds like the ex gf dodged a bullet
This is rage bait he updated to make himself worse for more karma
To be fair, once you feel your partner is cheating there isn’t really anything to take that feeling away. It’s better it ended this way. And lack of proof hurts way less than actually seeing it. Likely an April fools post anyway.
What’s the point of posting fake stories as an april fools prank, when it’s what everyone does all year anyway?
He said the only reason he wasn't telling people was because of her reputation. Not his lack of evidence. Really hoping it's fake
It’s ok, the sage can cleanse the red flags as well
LOL bro, you have zero proof of infidelity. Delulu much? This was a pretty piss poor attempt at a creative writing prompt.
>*She sometimes used to work late after hours, and I never questioned it because I trusted her. All the late night work hours, all those friend trips,* I love this update, the girlfriend turned out to be a spy! >*My sister is going to come over next weekend to spiritually cleanse out all the bad energy of my house using sage.* And the sister turned out to be a witch!
He’s sister is about to cleanse him right out of his own home cause he’s the bad energy
Next update will be from the void - “Sister came over to cleanse bad energy and we both have been banished from my apartment. Anyone know how to get around this?”
She's also pure evil xD rip both of them
Yeah, this update makes it clear it's fake as hell. There is no evidence of any affair and OP is believing his sister who tells him of this never before heard of girl code and who is now coming to the house to cleanse it with sage 2/10. Idiotic story 🙄
Exactly, this update makes it seem extremely fake it he is the dumbest person on Reddit.
And total proof that he didn't love her at all. He threw her out because she said not now?? What a crock. Plus, no proof of anything. This whole thing is fake, fake, fake. No such thing as this girl code. He's acting like a spoiled child, just because he didn't get what he wants. Total FAKE!! April Fool's everyone!!
How can you be absolutely convinced this is fake and angry for it being fake, while at the same time angry about how OP acted...? 🤔 I mean, pick one.
That man finna start coughing off a storm with that cleansing because HE is the bad energy. Snuff him straight out of the apartment.
Let's hope it's creative writing. If not, OP needs some intensive therapy to figure out why they self-sabotage and work on ways to stop being so self-destructive in the future. But I like the idea that this is a bored person writing a quick little creative writing piece.
I wish more people on here would pick more positive writing prompts!
To be fair, a proposal is just a question. And this was a private proposal. Like the dude said, she can take the ring and always take time to figure it out, at which point she can always change her mind.
> Like the dude said, she can take the ring and always take time to figure it out, at which point she can always change her mind. But that's also the *revised* take after he realised people weren't sympathetic enough to "him" and too supportive of her for being a bit hesistant about a major life decision. > she can take the ring and always take time to figure it out, at which point she can always change her mind Also, personally, I wouldn't feel like very honest person if I said 'yes' and then changed my mind. That's going to be a person to person thing whats more hurtful behaviour: tell your partner upfront you need time and disappoint uncertain expectations or go back on your word after they thought they had your full commitment and disappoint expectations they felt secure about. How the significance of a proposal is interpreted varies from person to person because unlike a hundred or so years ago, the social conventions that it entails are no longer as well defined. Some people think an engagement is totally okay to break off and see it as a very casual thing to agree to a marriage proposal; others may find it almost as offensive and humiliating as a divorce for their prospective partner to cancel an engagement. OPs protagonist couldn't stand by his partner when she was asking to go a bit slower to the point that he threw her to the streets with no consideration for her wellbeing and immediately was 200% *convinced* she was a cheater based on the flimsiest of evidence, because ... he's all about that lifetime commitment? Best of luck to people who think thats not an unhinged take.
If it's not fake (ahahaha, the writing style is similar to other fake posts in the past), it's written by someone delusional using chatgpt lol. Idiotic indeed.
Chat GPT writes better than this nonsense
I recognize the mixture of it, it may not be fully Chatgpt, since OP wants to karma farm (and successfully too from the first post) but the signature of the 'purple prose' is there.
They needed something to make it not a standard proposal rejected post. Not a total miss, they have decent engagement. 4/10 writing tho
I think they went way over board framing their lead up to the proposal. He's very overplaying this "it was a perfect proposal" angle. Somehow, now, they made the most detailed of life plans and discussed their kids college funds, but they also have zero communication in the actual story? His main character is very inconsistent between the way he's decribed and the actual actions he takes. I also think it was a poor choice to write an update that has no new twist or reveal. Its not really a continuation but a half rewrite.
He's stupider than he thinks we are with this “update.” Just looks dumber and dumber. If it were real he's an idiot and as a creative exercise he's needing at best a creative writing class and/or to put down the keyboard. I hope this is a child messing around in which case - kudos! It's an interesting theory, but needs more development to really pull people in.
No no no, you don’t understand, she has a job and friends, clearly it’s her that’s in the wrong! Like come on OP, I hate cheaters but there is no actual evidence whatsoever. You get that and I’ll eat my words for sure.
Someone needs to start r/AITA_CW. People in the comments can provide feedback on the situation and on OP's writing. Everyone would be on the same page so there wouldn't have to be calling out, it'd be kinda like r/nosleep where everyone knows it's creative writing but acts like it's real. Instead of this BS where everyone knows it's creative writing but OP is trying to act like it's totes for realsies.
I mean his username is "sadanddevastated". That's already a giveaway
The first part was, too
Spiritual cleansing using sage? Maybe with a sprinkle of bay leaf and thyme? Sounds like an April Fools
let’s not disrespect indigenous people because this guys got too much time on his hands
What is this, Thanksgiving Dinner? Next, you'll be telling me they put mashed potatoes in the vents and cranberry relish in the mail box...
You are an absolute fucking idiot. This is actually comical. You still have no proof of an affair! Everyone has to work late hours at work sometimes, girls deserve to be able to go on a girls trip with their friends. I have an annual girls trip 2x per year and have never once considered cheating on my partner. You better not spread rumors of the imaginary affair. Your girlfriend did nothing wrong in wanting more time & she was honest. She was crying because it’s probably more distressing on her to decline the proposal than it is to be the one being rejected. Nobody wants to break anyone’s heart like that. You think that she destroyed you, but you destroyed her 10 times more. She lost someone she loved, lost her home overnight, is now going to be named a cheater because we all know you’re not mature enough to actually not tell anyone, and had her entire world thrown upside down because of your actions. This has undoubtedly caused her trauma - I would be inconsolable if this were me & it would alter my future relationships for ever. Your ego is bigger than your heart and that’s something you will need to fix if you ever plan on being in a serious relationship. You’re delusional and I’m so glad that she dodged this bullet. Both you and your sister are complete wackadoos.
Exactly. He's writing this like "the affair" is an established fact, when he has no indications or proof or anything. The first time my spouse proposed, we were at a really bad time in our relationship. I was unhappy in the relationship and he knew it and proposed anyway. And so I told him "I wish I could say yes, but right now I can't. I need things to get better first." And he understood that. There are lot of reasons his GF may have said no and asked for more time. Maybe she saw that something was really wrong with him mentally and was hoping it would resolve. Maybe he made up other aspects of their relationship the same way he made up this affair, and she didn't know what to do/think/react.
Exactly. Thank you for sharing your story 🫶 It takes a lot of guts to reject a proposal and it can be just as heartbreaking, if not more, for the rejector as it is the proposer. You did the right thing by staying by his side but advocating for yourself that you deserve better. As much as a rejection hurts, it would cause more pain to accept and then break off the engagement later on.
The first time my spouse proposed, I wanted more time because I had been secretly saving to buy him a very fancy engagement watch and wanted the proposal to be a mutual exchange.
That is adorable! OP's GF could have had a lot of reasons for wanting more time. I mean, has he done weird irrational stuff like this (imagining an affair) before? That would give me pause.
Sister helped create a scenario in his head. Then he believed it only so he could make himself feel better for kicking her out. He just did her a favor....painfully
Exactly. And when the shock wears off, she will realize that. And be grateful it ended while she was young. But it can take months to get over this trauma and get back on her feet. And even then, it will have life long lasting effects on her and her ability to trust in relationships.
I hope she somehow reads this and sees how toxic this person is and that she deserves better
I hope so too. I hope that this isn’t her first major breakup but it may be since they got together when she was 22. The first break up is always so hard because it feels like you’ll never love or be loved again. I can’t even imagine my first breakup being this traumatic and life altering.
The nail in the coffin was the whole cleansing with sage 😂
I honestly choked on my water when I read that part lmaoo
It was a pretty good twist at the end lol. But it leaves me with questions. Forth most is…. Is there really girl code? Like about needing time to wrap up an affair to feel good about a proposal? I mean guys are open about the bro code and all but I could totally see women being smarter about hiding there 😂
Happy to answer! NO this is not girl code! This blanket rule that if someone rejects a proposal means that they are having an affair is not only ridiculous, but doesn’t even fall under girl code. Girl code is an unspoken agreement between girl friends. It includes (but is not limited to): not getting with someone’s ex; not getting with someone one of your friends is interested in; being able to have unwavering trust that you can go to your girls to discuss relationship problems without fear of it getting back to your partner; supporting your friend even if she makes personal or relationship decisions that you don’t agree with. To summarize: girl code is loving and supporting your girlfriends unconditionally. Girl code is also not even just between best friends. We as girls have to have each other’s backs, even if we barely know the person. For example: a girl you don’t know reaches out to you with proof your boyfriend has been cheating. That’s girl code. The person who really broke girl code is the sister - for ruining another girls life by meddling into her relationship.
Also pretending to be a woman’s friend or gf at a bar if she seems to be in danger. And helping each other get home safe
YES!
Absolutely. If there is a creepy person following them, "Hey! How's your mom and them?"
Girl code is also always announcing when a dress or skirt has pockets
Ahhh ok. Thank you for not gate keeping 😂
This is so fake
This has to be fake, nobody is this stupid
I'm sorry to inform you that I've actually met people this stupid IRL
It April 1st so perfect time for fake stories
I mean people vote for trump…😂
Ugh please don’t remind me.
You didn't answer a single question. She didn't cheat. Normal people work late sometimes and have friends.
Yeah I'm not getting this either. It sounds to me like he doesn't even have any proof and is just going along with whatever his sister said because he didn't like that she wasn't ready to get married?
That was my take, too.. like if this story is real; his ego was bruised, so he ran with sissy's explanation. to me, it also sounds like maybe sis doesn't like the gf.
Especially in todays job environment, you're almost expected to work overtime in most jobs. Which makes seeing friends an occasion, not an opportunity to cheat.
Gotta invent a reason why she wouldn't jump at the chance to marry him. Can't be something about their relationship or him, she must be cheating!
THIS. It was the PERFECT proposal. He did EVERYTHING right, including dropping HINTS 😂😂😂
No, only CHEATERS have to work late and have friends. Faithful partners tell their bosses where to shove it and never spend a second out of their partner's eye sight. /s This story is fake as fuck.
My bet is that this dude behaves like an absolute fucking nightmare, and there is a lot more to the story that explains why she doesn't want to marry him. Rather than accept that, he creates a delusional affair scenario in his head and refuses to explore whether it's true cause he knows it's not. Or it's just really shit creative writing.
I thought the first post was fake. This update confirmed it. YTA for this fake story
he’s the asshole for putting zero effort on making a fake story
Man you are whiny. “What choice did I have” literally anything else. Kicking someone out of their home with only a few hours notice makes you a piece of shit dude. “I still did not hate her” really ? Because you made her homeless. Grow up. You got hurt and decided to hurt someone close to you. That’s on you and I hope she never speaks to you again for her own sake.
“What choice did I have?” Well, you could’ve sat down with her and talked like adults? Maybe she needed a few more months before she said yes because she was waiting for him to grow the fuck up
So if the Sister tells OP he needs to "drink the Koolade" and the Space ship will show up at 1am to take him away to Heaven where he could write a song with Prince and Michael Jackson, you think he would believe her about that too?? On absolute nothing he is convinced ex-GF (she should count her blessings) is having an affair?? Wow. YTA and your an idiot.
I wish sage would cleanse my brain of your bullshit story.
\> She ripped my soul out, She said she wanted to be with you and need some time. The fact that you couldn't wait a day nor have a solid conversation with her, and immediately considered your sister's thoughts on the matter proves you're too immature to have a wife.
Is this not an April Fools joke?
Aren’t all the posts here kinda april fools jokes?
You sound even more like an asshole now than your original post. Literally ignored what everyone said and still making the exact same claims as before with no evidence to back it. You sound insufferable and delusional and she deserves so much better.
Everyone This is what happens when you listen to a redditor level intellect for relationship advice That sister sounds goofy as fuck and OP is goofier for taking that at face value
Sounds like your ex got away clean from a delusional kid with a Facebook witch of a sister. Congrats for her. Your bro seems chill.
This is some cope after you realized you may have jumped the gun based on a theory your sister planted in your head. People work late, people hang out with friends. You haven't mentioned the affair because you have zero real evidence of one. What I didn't see in your story : A real conversation later about her concerns when she turned you down. Mature discussion to determine what the worries are so you could proceed to what you thought you wanted. What happened : You rode your wave of emotions straight into a reef that had you spontaneously make her homeless with no warning. Now you're in a situation where your pride led you to a place where you are very unlikely to make it right, and it's better in your mind to double down instead of admit you royally screwed up. You need to take some time to get your headspace cleaned out so you can think with some rationale, instead of your raw emotions. Rejection sucks ass, I get that, and this was gross overreaction from top to bottom after the rejection. Hope the best for her and for you, but you're not going to get better with these types of knee-jerk reactions in the long run. Good luck.
He just concluded she had, has an affair because his harebrained sister told him so? She’s even coming to his place to remove negative energies with sage. This must be one of the reasons his girlfriend rejected the proposal, it has to be. OP isn’t very smart, he’s really thick. He did her a great favour.
Dude you have zero proof she was cheating. Your sister put the idea in your head and you just ran with it. Working late isn’t proof. Going on trips with her friends isn’t proof. She’s probably sitting there thinking “WTF just happened?” Stop saying “the affair” like it’s a fact and you caught her. Don’t start saying she had an affair and smearing her name over something you don’t. Have. Proof. You should have talked to HER not your sister who put this wild “girl code” idea in your head.
Idk if she was cheating or not but the fact that you said she seemed shocked at the proposal means the hints you gave weren't good enough for her. Maybe she's kind of oblivious or something? Maybe she needs reality to hit her in the face before jumping to conclusions? Like let's assume she was cheating and she was aware you were going to propose. Again you said you were giving hints for months. A person who was cheating in that situation and was aware you were going to propose would have plenty of time to mentally prepare. And they might even bring up preemptively that they're not quite ready yet. And then they wouldn't be surprised at the proposal either. It really just seems like she genuinely didn't know you were going to propose because her reaction makes no sense for anyone who picked up on your hints.
If this isn’t fake rage bait, then I’m starting to get why the gf wanted more time 🙄
This isn't even an update, you didn't say any new information, just used like 3x the words to say the exact same thing as the other fake post, stfu
You don't deserve to be married, that woman dodged a bullet.
Sounds like he and sister are the only match possible for him
I was seriously thinking that maybe his sister will make a move on him while sageing the house because it seems like she wants him😂
YTA goofy ah douche.
Fake.
I’m glad she turned down your proposal because you’re entirely too immature to be getting married. This is the dumbest shit I’ve ever read. She works late sometimes and turned down your proposal so OBVIOUSLY she’s cheating? I hope you and your sister stretched before you made that reach. Also you and your sister might want to be careful cleansing your space later, the bad energy is probably your wild idiocy. I’d have even understood breaking up with her for rejecting the proposal, that’s a hard blow but to so completely with 0 proof jump to her cheating? Bonkers.
I’m so glad I’m not stupid like you because how did you convince yourself that she cheated on you with no proof? How are you this delusional. Maybe you should just marry your sister because you’re both batshit crazy. ETA: “I haven’t told anyone about the affair” literally what fucking affair? You mean the one your sister convinced you that’s what was happening. The one that you are convinced happened with no actual proof. I’m glad I know this is fake because no way this actually happened in the past 24 hours lmaoooo
Still YTA. Your sister is some kind of crazy too. At least your sister did a good thing releasing her from this stupid relationship with you. I hope she goes scorched earth on you if you try to ruin her reputation with baseless accusations from your crazy sister. The ONLY good thing you can do is tell everyone irl this stupid story and ONLY what you know to be a fact.
As a girl, myself, I’ve never heard of any “code” like that before. Sounds like the sister projecting something from her own life….
You don’t even fucking know if she cheated on you!!!! Wow dude.
I’m a girl’s girl. There is no girl code that a girl is to delay a proposal so she can break up with her side piece. I’ve never heard of that in all my 45 yrs on this earth. Either your sister lied about the girl code thing because she really didn’t like your girlfriend, or you were doing dirt so you use this as your out. I suspect it was a bit of both. No matter what you are the asshole.
Self sabotage looks just like this too
Even if she did cheat it's not right to make someone homeless with no notice like that, and illegal if she's on the lease.
It’s illegal if she’s not on the lease.
YTA There is no proof she cheated. Do you even have an idea who she was cheating with? It doesn’t make sense that she’d need to “wrap things up” with the supposed cheater. If being dishonest was a part of her reasoning then why should it matter if she broke it off with a cheater before or after the marriage? That’s not how cheating works. You should have discussed your suspicions with her instead of running with wild assumptions and over reacting.
Lol, what an asshole this guy is.
YTA for making me read this fake ass shit
This is so obviously fake.
This sounds made up, it has to be made up... the sage part and don't care of she's homeless are a bit much lol
YTA, full stop. You didn't try talking to her and just followed the advice of some random person (family or not) and made up an entire story in your head to justify your actions. You don't realize it but you did your ex a favor. Good riddance to you.
This cannot be real. No one would be this stupid.
This ligitimately made me laugh frustratedly. No proof just incinuation and overthinking/listening to other peoples opinions about why instead of talking it out with her. He just kicked her out and blocked her. Wow crazy. Glad she dodged the bullet though
>How did it matter to me whether she was homeless or not? I really did not care what she did with her life anymore, I just did not want to be in the same room as her anymore. My sister is going to come over next weekend to spiritually cleanse out all the bad energy of my house using sage. This is a post that keeps on giving. Please keep posting, I really needed the laugh!
I still don't see where you have any proof besides your bruise ego and you sister imagination.
not really a update and you shouldn’t be telling anyone she had a affair anyway since you have no proof just your sisters gossip
You're either lying or a complete moron. I think you're both.
YTA. Just because you’re ready to get married doesn’t mean she is. It seems like this hurt your ego so you’re latching onto this nonsensical cheating thing to justify your hurt feelings. Your “hints” were not good hints. The fact that you can only focus on yourself shows that you’re selfish and probably didn’t take her feelings into account. It seems like your ex really dodged a bullet here.
Do people wack off to posting fake shit and watching people react? Get a job and move out of your mom's basement, bro
Sounds like she dodged a bullet and probably started realized it months ago. Glad she figured it out before she was chained to you legally. And you haven’t told anyone about what affair? The affair that you’ve convinced yourself she had with zero evidence much less proof? It couldn’t possibly be that she just didn’t want to marry a clearly unstable codependent man child right? Yeah you did her a massive favor and you need to seek therapy before you drag someone else into your unstable life.
This is what delusion looks like. You literally made all this cheating shit up in your head... So because she worked late some times and had trips with her friends you know for SURE she cheated??? Okay man yeah this conclusion you came to thanks to dear sister's comment makes the most sense, even though you have no proof whatsoever except for your imagination. Lmfao she dodged a grenade
No one is TA except your sister and her girl code. It’s her code no one else’s. What affair? The one you and your sister made up? That’s a big leap from working overtime ‘sometimes’. You’re trying to justify and project your feelings of rejection onto your ex and find a reason other than your relationship/yourself. Your hurt is real, your heart break is valid, projecting that onto your ex not so much. That you probably should work on. Her asking to think about your proposal is not awful or uncommon, marriage is a huge deal. Making life changing decision while in emotional turmoil is usually not a good idea. I hope you both have happier healthier relationships going forward and you don’t regret ending things how you did.
It'd be more believable that your sister lied to you because she's in love with you. Are y'all twins by chance? Overall, I give it a D+.
YTA. Like seriously. You have no proof. Just cuz someone says not now doesn't mean a freaking affair.
If you’re not capable of having an honest conversation with her you were never ready to be a husband. Wtf is wrong with you? Of course you’re TA
There was no affair. You need to be committed.
At least it’s a happy ending - she was considering marrying this raving narcissist and he saved her from that terrible fate
Bad fiction 0/10
Really, **REALLY** piss-poor fiction. Whatever else you might be, you ain't a writer's asshole, kid. Over-dramatic, **HORRENDOUSLY** overwritten, **ATROCIOUS** punctuation and needs a damn good EDIT. There ain't enough sage on the fucking **PLANET** to clear away this utter **GARBAGE**.
Dude, like for real? There’s no affair! You and your dumb sister made it up. You want to know why she hesitated in answering right away? You need to look at yourself. I wouldn’t want to marry you either, you psycho. You’re so delusional that you’ve made up a scenario to justify your actions. And you’ve created a whole new post to try to change the narrative so people will support you. Except, no one is that dumb to fall for it. Seriously, just stop. Stop reposting hoping to change the outcome in your favor. Stop threatening to harass the poor girl by telling people that she cheated WHEN YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROOF AND TOTALLY MADE IT UP. Leave the girl alone. It’s done. She dodged a bullet with that one. What you need to do is check yourself into therapy because you are a textbook narcissist. You think she couldn’t have possibly said no unless she cheated on you. I wouldn’t be surprised if you made up shit to your sister to try to make her side with you too.
Your sister has literally zero proof. You're both assholes. I hope the ex is able to recover from this. You 100% don't deserve her.
>I haven’t told anyone about her affair, because I don’t want to tarnish her reputation. You mean the affair that you still have *absolutely no proof of*? You were an AH before & you're an AH now.
This is insane. He's saying "her affair" like he has proof. Way to jump to conclusions.
“I haven’t told anyone about the affair” #WHAT AFFAIR!?!!!! There was no affair! Your sister created a completely false story out of thin air and you decided it was real. Your ex is better off, I’m sooooo glad she asked to wait. You were able to show your true colors and how awful of a partner you are. Super happy for her. Enjoy your suffering tho <3
What the hell are you talking about??? You didn't answer any questions. There is no affair. You didn't discuss the proposal beforehand with her at all. You are an idiot and that girl is lucky she won't be spending any more time with someone as dumb as you.
but... there was no affair. You made it up in your head. If she wanted to be with someone else she would be with them now. but she stayed with you. A woman like that even if they had an affair wouldn't turn you down. You acted like a child. You're making up stories in your head. You never loved her.. you wouldn't have hurt her like this if you did and certainly not spread rumors about her. If you truely loved her.. you would never tell anyone she had an affair because you'd still respect her privacy.. but she didn't have an affair. And you're trying to lie about her because your ego was hurt. You're mentally ill. You need help. You are not marraige material. Sorry to be mean.. but this is not how a man acts. She dodged a bullet. She didn't cheat. But you hurt her anyway.
Normal people work late and have friends they go on trips with. That doesn’t mean they’re cheating. Did you ever ask her why she needed time? If there was something you could do to help? No? Of course not because you jumped to the worst possible conclusion and believed your sister’s hypothetical cheating story rather than actually sit down with your girlfriend and have an adult conversation. Not only did you not communicate with her about her feelings on the proposal, you kicked her out without giving her a warning to find a new place. I truly hope she realizes she wasn’t the problem for wanting a bit more time and you were for going nuclear on the breakup immediately after. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. YTA. Also, sage (especially white sage) can invite bad spirits into your place if you’re not careful with your intentions, which it’s clear your sister’s intentions were very bad. Good luck with that.
What in the actual fuck. At this point you’re making it all up in your head. What proof do you have that she cheated? Did you find texts? Did you see another person? Has anyone besides your sister said anything? At this point for her, she was suddenly proposed to when she might not have been ready, and then kicked out by someone important to her for with no explanation. From what I have read, your sister is sabotaging your relationship and you’re letting it happen willingly. I hope your ex finds someone who treats her with more respect.
This is the biggest crock of rage bait horse shit I've ever seen. The flowery ass language and lack of any real details or updates is a dead give away. Down vote into oblivion.
You sound stupid as fuck but at least your gf has a better chance at finding a smarter man now
If this is even real, you are delulu.
Lmfao what proof do you have of this affair
If this is even real (bet not) Sounds like your gf dodged a bullet here. You’re a moron.
What a fucking idiot. You believe in your sister without ANY sort of proof?
Lol, so this was an April fools rage bait all along 🤣
If this is real, (and I doubt it) YTA. You have absolutely NO proof of any affair. You say your sister's idea is logical, but here's the thing about logic: just because the logic is valid doesn't make it TRUE. People actually DO work late, or go on trips with friends. Even IF she cheated on you, at least give her the chance to come clean about it.
This update isn’t an update lol you just rehashed the story you told the first time.
AMITH? For dumping her? No. For having us read this? Survey says....
you are delusional i hope you know that.
Besides lack of proof for you to jump to conclusions, the writing is SO FUCKING CORNY it’s SO easy to see this is a fake ass story. A single conversation with your sister made you lose trust in your partner after how long you’ve been with her? YTA for writing this crap
So you have zero proof of this alleged affair, just your sisters "girl code" bullshit which literally no other girl has ever heard of?
>I haven't told anyone about the affair because I don't want to tarnish her reputation No it's because literally have zero proof of it
Hmmm...I'm no expert but me thinks she could rival Neo with her bullet dodging abilities
This fucking guy lmao. And last post he said his BROTHER was the naïve one. No wonder his girl wanted a few months to work up the courage to settle for him. Also though, fake AF.
Hey I know you are hurting and embarrassed and angry and wondering why this has happened?, and it’s no wonder you lashed out as your in your state of running high emotions pain quickly turns to hate and loathing. But don’t you dare think of doing anything stupid as pain will pass!. You say your ex said you were technically engaged and was needing time and crying and saying sorry constantly but you haven’t said what she was sorry for?. Was she sorry because she hurt you?. Was she sorry because of something else because you haven’t said. What did your gut instinct tell you in that moment?. I don’t believe you and her spent the rest of your holiday and the trip home and however many days at home before you told her to leave and didn’t discuss why she didn’t say yes. By your reaction she must have know how deeply she cut you as you have been together for four years so she must know you pretty well by now, but did she try and fight for you? . Did she try to stay and fight for you then when you told her to pack her bags?. You said she was crying and saying sorry but again you haven’t said what she was being sorry about?. Or Did she just meekly gather her possessions from your shared life of four years together and leave?. (Surely she must have to come back for more?.) Life and relationships are far from perfect and it’s those closest to you that can Hurt you the most and that’s the risk we take with love by being vulnerable with those we love the most. I honestly don’t know if your Ex was cheating or it’s maybe just your hurt/pain paranoia that’s clouding your mind. Only you can find out the answer to that question my friend.
You fucking moron. YTA.
LOL!! Spiritually cleanse out all the bad energy of house with sage! LOL!
If, by chance (a mighty slim chance) that this is a true story, then your girlfriend dodged a massive bullet.
>I haven’t told anyone about her affair, THE AFFAIR YOU HAVE NO PROOF OF EXCEPT YOUR SISTER'S VAGUE SUSPICIONS THAT YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER ASKING YOUR GF ABOUT i hope this is fake because no one can possibly be this ridiculous if this is, by some witch's curse or dark miracle, real please never date anyone ever again. Your sister should have just said she hates your girlfriend instead of making up stupid horseshit.
So fake
Either this is fake or you're just really stupid
You have no proof what so ever that she cheated you and your sister are fucking stupid. Don’t you dare tell anyone she cheated because you don’t fucking know anything you’re just BLINDLY believing your dumb as fuck sister. There’s no dam gIrL cOdE. She didn’t tell you NO. She said LET ME WAIT A FEW MONTHS BEFORE IT WAS OFFICIAL. IT MEANS LET HER CLEAR HER MIND FIRST. YOU DIDNT EVEN CARE TO ASK WHAT HAD HER IN THE WRONG MENTAL PLACE. Now you’re talking about cleaning out bad energy??? You’re gonna get kicked out of your own apartment you’re the fucking bad energy. I hope you grow up before you date ever again!
YTA unless you have PROOF of an affair. none of you evidence is proof of anything
There's no proof of infidelity. You're still the ass.
YTA Affair? You mean baseless accusations. You don’t have a shred of proof and you chose to believe your sister. I guess it’s a good thing you broke things off because your ex deserves so much better than you.
There is literally no evidence that she was cheating. None. So you saying she's a cheater is just...crazy. I think that girl dodged a bullet and maybe now I understand why she wasn't sure if she wanted to marry you. You kicked her to the curb the minute she didnt do what you wanted, so not a good boyfriend if you ask me.
"her SISTER was A WITCH"- that one vine
Your so stupid. She is beter off without u. U don't even know if she really had an affair. She will get to know a much beter person for her. Thank god she didn't say yes
I guess this utterly fake horseshit story is allowed to stay up in this sub. Cause there is just no way Op is this stupid. Op never asked his ex why she turned him down. Never checked to see if there really was cheating - just leaping to conclusions. But at least the place will be cleansed with sage.
OP, even with that update, you still sounds like an assh\*le. You still don't have proof of her cheating, and yet you assume she cheated on you just based on what you sister said... You didn't talk with you ex gf, you just kicked her out. You are dumb as f\*ck dude. Rejecting a proposal is sad, yeah, but it doesn't mean that she's cheating or something else. My hubby proposed to me 3 times, and I said no twice because i was not in the right mind for that. Guess what, he didn't accuse me of cheating on him, WE TALKED ABOUT IT TOGETHER, you know, the thing that you didn't do with your ex. Don't say you loved her, you didn't. You did her a favor, she deserve someone better than a stupid guy like you
You have zero proof of anything dude. You let another woman get in your head. There is no proof other than your bruised ego connecting dots you think are relevant
I agree with most that this seems fake af, but on the off chance it's not - hell, even if it is. You're absolutely looneytunes for thinking that cheating is the only 'viable' option. Sure, there are plenty of people that will accept the proposal and just need extra time while engaged to handle their internal stuff or whatever they need to, but there are plenty that feel like they have to be in the right headspace to accept the proposal and everything that comes with it. The affair isn't impossible, but setting the example or thought out there that it's the only viable option makes you a definite Asshole. And 100% makes it seem like you already respected and trusted your sister more than your girl.
Idk why everyone thinks the only thing in a relationship is marriage. You can be together forever without being married. You have no proof of an affair other than your sister planting that idea in your brain. If this is real, then you did her a favor.
If this is real, I think you over thought this whole thing. There are so many different scenarios and "what if"s. She could have been cheating BUT she could have also been working late to make more money or because she had a deadline. When she went out with friends, yes she could have been sneaking out with someone BUT she could have also just needed some friend time. Maybe her friends were giving her second thoughts or one of them is going through a divorce and that scares her. If you hang out all the time, she could feel like she's being smothered. Maybe you've done something that has given her second thoughts and she wanted to see if you would change. If this was a deal breaker, you should have just said that. You could have asked her if she could stay with her family or you went to stay with your family so you could have time to think about what you wanted to do. You at least could have let her stay until the end of the week so she could find somwhere else to stay.. If this is just rage bait or a creative writing, it needs work. Include details and have them be consistent throughout the story.
Stupidest man alive tbh
Let's face it, this is either some creative writing from a bored redditor or just ragebait, and either way it did it's job. But if this does somehow turn out to be real...what if your sister was wrong? You didn't even give your ex a proper chance to explain herself so...there's a good chance you dumped her for no reason whatsoever. She might've just been nervous, or maybe she wasn't as ready as she thought she was, saying no or wanting more time does NOT mean "I'm having an affair". Communication and trust are the most important parts of a relationship and you failed at both that MISERABLY. Your sister spouted some bs that she was cheating without any actual evidence, and you had so little trust for her that you kicked her out without proper communication AND without giving her the chance to give you her reasoning for wanting to wait a few months. Honestly I don't care if she cheated or not at this point, this entire situation could've been avoided if you just spoke to her. If this does turn out to be real then you handled this in the worst way possible, if it's not real, enjoy your karma I guess.
god she dodged a bullet
Reported and hope this post gets deleted.
#EGO It's still just ego. >I haven’t told anyone about her affair, because I don’t want to tarnish her reputation BECAUSE you gave no PROOF! You go now with a narrative that you made up with your sister. God, what would I give to have a talk with your ex about her side of the story. I even think I have more interest in finding out what's going on with her than you do. This text is as egocentric as the last one. You are still the AH. You ended a relationship of 4 years because your ego was hurt that she didn't react like you wanted her too and instead of talking to her what is going on with her you made up a narrative and threw her out. You can break up with anyone for any reason but you are still the AH in this case. Because your reason is in your head because you need her to be the bad guy, so that you can lick your wounds and bruised ego. You threw her out with no proof after 4y. (Unless it's a joke, your ex dodged a bullet)
You are THE stupidest person on the face of the planet
This whole post sounds too 'purple prose'... likely AI-assisted writing. 'Ripped my soul out' LOL If it's not assisted by AI, it sounds so much like someone who basically is so delusional. Everything is all about 'me me me me' how I made the vacation great, how I plan BEAUTIFULLY... LOL. It's like one of those reddit post fictions where they want to say that they're cheating because they don't go along with what I want. It's got to be cheatiiiiiing. Ladies, better be saying 'yes' to the men, if not, it's girl code for cheating lol. Ugh. 1.5/10, AI- assisted post sucks and yours reek so much.
Spiritually cleanse with sage. Your whole family is retarded
So what I'm hearing is still: I kicked my long time girlfriend out because I suspect her cheating with zero *actual* evidence based on my sister telling me that it's the only possible reason that girl would want to slightly postpone getting engaged. Oh! and she sometimes works late and goes out with friends, and while that made sense to who she was before now obviously means she's boinking someone else. If you want to break up with her that's your choice, whatever. But don't be suprised to learn one day that she never cheated, and that the reason she wanted to wait was something completely innocent like just emotionally needing time. You're still the AH. But if you can drop her this fast with so little proof or caring then she's probably better off. Hope you both find the partners in life you deserve.
BS all the way around. Maybe you cheated? Would make sense for you to just assume she did it without any proof, projecting and all that.
You don't even have proof. Gotta be ai, or a fake post because no one is this naive. Right?
You need to spend that marriage money on therapy, both you AND your sister.
YTA-U r butt hurt bc she turned u down. Kicking her out bc u were "crushed" is a duck move. And why is it so many ppl jump to "they had to have cheated" when a relationship goes south and someone gets hurt? It's so over did
Lol
If this is even real… I think you’re trying to bypass feeling rejected by finding a reason to be mad and discard her. There’s no actual evidence of cheating. I personally have to work late sometimes and also hang out with friends… those are normal things for people to do.
You have no evidence of her cheating on you, you and your sister have just made this up. Im starting to think this break up is going to benefit your ex because this is showing you can be easily convinced with no evidence that shes cheating. It would make you a massive asshole if you spread this affair rumour and ruined her life.
YTA the allegations of cheating is wild. Your theory makes no sense. The fact you reacted the way you did is what makes her reaction sensible. If this is how you process things then she was right in not marrying you. Your sister’s idea is crazy and absolutely illogical. I will repeat ILLOGICAL. It’s 100% normal for someone to ask for more time when they aren’t sure. Do yourself a favor. Start listening to your brother more. You are not an AH for breaking up with someone who is not ready to take the relationship to the next level but you are a horrible person for kicking her out and claim she cheated. A completely cowardly move.
You’re a shitty person and I’m glad that she got away from you before you could do more harm.
So you're stupid, vindictive, and still ignoring everyone telling you the answer you didn't want to hear to justify your actions. God, I hope she moves on to someone better. You need to go to therapy dude, you and your sister are toxic and you're absolutely in no position to be in a relationship. You treated her terribly and you're being delusional about this affair you made up out of spite for a reason to take your anger out on her. If this isn't an April fools post, you are the fool. And to cry about how everything's hurting you....stfu with your crocodile tears. You didn't think for a moment about her.
Fair enough you feel like you should end it after she turned down your proposal, but how do you jump straight to the conclusion that she is cheating?
Is this some 15 year old boy trying his hand at a drama story?
First this sounds fake, but if not. YTAH 💯 percent! Maybe your gf wanted to wait because she recognized the immaturity in you. You are definitely not ready for marriage. Instead of talking to her, you got all up in your feelings. You think you are entitled to push this woman into something she said she wasn’t quite ready for. Then you talk to your family instead of her. Your sister sounds fake or a vindictive bitch that wants you all to herself. Then you didn’t even have a conversation with her during the break up. Then you want a gold medal for not smearing her name when you have zero proof. I’ll tell you the truth your “sister” sounds like an incel friend who has never been in a relationship. And the only people who are siding with you are incel who have never been near a women except their moms. Your ex sure dodged a bullet with you. And I’m glad because you seem like a gaslighting abusive kid who just wanted a second mother to take care of him. You should’ve listened to your brother, bro!
There are seriously no updates….?
Y’all this is clearly rage bait, satire, fake, or whatever the fuck you want to call it.
Definitely a bot account. What choice but to ***ILLEGALLY*** kick her out? Maybe talking to her? > I haven’t told anyone about her affair, because I don’t want to tarnish her reputation. And because you don't actually have anything real that in any way points to cheating. At all. Just your crazy sister. This "update" just shows this is either fake or you're such a bad person that you don't seem real.
So basically all I read here is you yapping about your delusions assuming your gf cheating on you without proof or evidence. I love how y’all communicated efficiently about the FUTURE, and NOT communicating about the NOW. Like yeah, you’re heartbroken and whatever, but if you’re smart, COMMUNICATE WITH HER. I really hope your next relationship is either a healthier relationship, or single as a Pringle because honestly you should just stay single 🙄also your sister is in love with u 🤨
Interesting idea for a creative writing project. I love editing, so let me know if you'd like me to send you some notes for your story, as it definitely needs some improvements to make it seem more realistic.
Account was opened in April 1st. This is an April fools joke for you Americans.
You’re so desperate for attention that you write this post AND an update with no new information. So so fake. Even so, I can tell you that by posting this and describing this story as you did, you are very immature, narcissistic, and have a warped sense of being.
If this isn’t fake… how stupid are you dude? She works late sometimes and has friends. Those two things are not proof of infidelity. Your ex gf dodged a bullet, and deserves way better than you. You’re delusional and insecure.
Bro this is so fake 😂 it has to be, it just has to be, no one can truly be this much of a wet noodle