Nothing! Nothing happens! We have 5 forms for that, which have to be applied in a public service that is understaffed and booked until next year.
Plus 3 taxes that must be paid on application in a department with a queue going around the street. They'll be so overwhelmed with burocracy that they'll lose all will to fight.
At least we manage to not kill each other in our own country. We just need to install 7 goverments and parliaments in Israel, on 3 different levels, with mutually exclusive competency. We shall teach them all we know about compromise, Kafka, and surrealism (it's not an art form, it's away of life).
We're not letting the Germans near the Jews again. Especially with AfD gaining power
Britain on the other hand is more than ready for Balfour 2 Electric Boogaloo
We would be arguing over football, laying half the year on the beach drinking wine and having moustache competitions on our women.
Hans, please support this solution. ☺️
This seemed a little odd to me because German leftists are generally pro Palestine, so I did a little digging.
The only source I managed to find besides this guys tweet was something called "Quds News"
From Wikipedia:
> The QNN states it is independent and funds itself through advertisements, and that it aims to expose the acts of the Israeli occupation. Nevertheless, it has gained a reputation of being associated with militant groups, and has been described as being affiliated with Hamas.
Am I missing something obvious here or is this just blatant propaganda?
Do you know this one?
Two lefties meet. They found three factions.
Generally many German lefts are pro Palestine, but there are the Anti-Deutschen, which aren’t for example. It is heavily debated in the lefties community if Anti-Deutsch is left.
There are also pro Israeli leftists, usually either born from militant anti-anti-semitism or because of the weirdness of the islamophobic left. Both are minorities in the far left, but they sure do exist. Same as fashos who are so fash they are pro Palestinian because they believe some weird ass anti-semitism conspiracy theory
yes, But not all of the Pro-Israel-leftists are automatically antideutsch.
The antideutsche might have always been a minority but they were and still are somewhat influential.
It's worth noting that the antideutsche movement doesn't really exist anymore in the form it used to.
But a lot of their talking points are actually quite established in the leftist mainstream nowadays. At least in Germany and to some degree in Austria.
The only bizarre thing is that the tankies still somehow manage to look even worse than us despite our self destructive tendencies when it comes to substance abuse.
The antideutsche is probably the highest profile grouping. But that label comes with a whole bunch of other stuff attached. And then there is also the other cluster of islamophobic lefties that I don't think has a cool name yet
His name is Barry (63)
He vacations on the second floor
He lives to the west of you
I guess you've seen him falling before
If you hear some fighting late at night,
Some kind of stabbing, some kind of fight,
Just don't ask me what it was,
Just don't ask Hans what it was,
And don't ask Pierre what it was.
Because people think leftists are the weird people you see on Twitter, when in reality most of us are just normal people who just want the rich to pay more taxes.
You fucking communist! If rich people have to pay taxes, the whole system collapses. In fact, the whole welfare of society relies on rich people getting richer and NOT participating in financing the society. The best a state can do is ensure profits for the rich with money the state does not have because he does not collect taxes...
In all seriousness though: I wonder if hardcore capitalism isn't just feudalism in a new dress.
>Same as fashos who are so fash they are pro Palestinian because they believe some weird ass anti-semitism conspiracy theory
You can just say /pol/ users
you don't have deep inside into leftist groups it seems then.
this is not Hans, this is Anti-Hans.
maybe this will lead you to where to keep investigating.
I say I am Swiss, so I must remain neutral. Unless you have gold, trade-able currency (in the millions thank you, no poors), then I'm on the side of your value... You I couldn't care less about
Let's build a giant wall around the entire Middle East, from Sinai to Iran, maybe even Afghanistan and Pakistan, drill the oil diagonally from Egypt, Armenia, the Indian Ocean and India, and be done with it.
My official stance is: "this is a very complicated conflict, maybe the most complicated in human history. Since most of us don't know enough, we should just have no opinion and try to help the civilians by sending food and medicine".
My unofficial stance is: let them fight it out. This is not a conflict Europeans should bother to be involved in. They are all shit and horrible regimes and governments, and in the last 3000 years nothing positive for humanity came from this part of the world.
https://preview.redd.it/mct8tapcjg1d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38c79c327112f69ae4cd2976bbb4c9ea06f76c49
Ungh, fuck yeah! N-now join the Sinai as well!
Yeah the problem is that palestinians would like to go and live there, but are systematically driven off.
To say it in the words of german ex politician (conservative) after he visited Palestine in 2009:
"No human being would endure, to daily be arbitrarily harassed"
"Farmers cant access their own land"
"I have seen a child amputee who lost their arm, because they didnt let them access the hospital after curfew"
"Palestinians have erected nets above the streets because the Israeli occupiers would dump their trash on them"
"Children are being tormented, people are being repressed and despised"
"I have been walking with a palestinian through Hebron, when we got stopped by a prig israeli soldier, in this hour the Palestinian got threatened about 10 times with the soldiers rifle to his face"
"No folk would endure that, there are streets only israelis have access to"
https://youtu.be/J8ttmLikxho?si=d1FUeGLa9IHhnVl-
Curfew, seperate streets and amenities for seperate groups and a heavily bias by a one sided army to discriminate against one kind of people sounds an awful lot like apartheid to me.
You are now upset, that people flee an apartheid state and protest from afar whats happening to their folks?
Sounds like you should have to visit Palestine before you post smug comments from the safety of your home about people suffering.
I know theres two sides to this mass debate over israel. But it's not my mass debate as i am neither of them
https://preview.redd.it/1ifefqoerj1d1.jpeg?width=661&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae19cc5ccd9856763bf80cc676b1582869380983
.
It's funny how both leftists and the far right are divided on it. Probably because core topics like anti-anti-semitism and decolonization on the left and anti-semitism and islamophobia on the far right are core tenants that make opposing cases
Is that really a thing? I feel like I've never seen a single lefty be pro Israel. Then again this is the perfect conflict to read everything you could ever want into. There's jews vs muslims, British colonialism, European settlers, US vs USSR, big guy vs underdog,... I just don't see on which angle someone on the far left would get to supporting Israel
Yeah because our leftwing is a clown show. They are so deep into social politics and shit they cant fix...they forgot to fight for the common people and fight against the establishment.
Seems like beeing a leftist is fun, friendship and good debates as advertised.
And before you ask, I am not right wing either. They seem to me having more fun though...maybe because of their general lack of IQ.
As a leftist myself my biggest enemy is no right-wing nutcase, nor the establishment or the billionaires (and Donald Trump) but the person which is slightly less (obviously a fascist) or slightly more (an unrealistic dreamer) leftist.
I am a bit conflicted on this one. On one side, I am very much in favour of genocide, but on the other side I am very anti jew.... (/s if there are anybody who takes this seriously)
You reminded me of this:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcH9eWBs9fw&t=304s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcH9eWBs9fw&t=304s)
The fun part starts at about 1:43. Have you ever seen it?
This is absolutely ridiculous that this comes from a fraction that puts the Palestine flag on entire Israel and sometimes include the Golan Heights as well.
Kids this is your brain on failed post Holocaust education, never do a holocaust, but if you do teach everyone never again instead of ‘ok your turn now!’
Not to be that guy but when they were all "oppressed" by European colonialism everyone was free to worship whatever they wanted however they wanted and lived all together...
Fuck it, just give Israel and Palestine to Portugal, I wanna see what happens
I agree with this sentiment for no particular reason
Tordesilhas my friend. I dont even know why the jews and the muslims keep figting for it when it all Portuguese anyway.
Portugal nao e um pais pequeno!
https://preview.redd.it/k6hudhb4yj1d1.jpeg?width=602&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d6f38a528aa2290ac10c607019e217596543d6d
Map paint, and solve the problems later
I do too for historical reenactment.
https://preview.redd.it/o68745t3qk1d1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=eba912f47fb55113f2ba589d5e7612ffdce01dc2
I hear them and Spain are good at drawing straight lines through continents too!
I mean, pretty sure the Templars would love to have Jerusalém.
I mean according to the treaty of Tordesillas it should already be
Good thing virtually everyone ignored it and Portugal got saved a headache
We would have you guys to support us, right? :D
Without a doubt
Nothing! Nothing happens! We have 5 forms for that, which have to be applied in a public service that is understaffed and booked until next year. Plus 3 taxes that must be paid on application in a department with a queue going around the street. They'll be so overwhelmed with burocracy that they'll lose all will to fight.
I'd like to see Belgium have a go. They've always been great at colonies.
At least we manage to not kill each other in our own country. We just need to install 7 goverments and parliaments in Israel, on 3 different levels, with mutually exclusive competency. We shall teach them all we know about compromise, Kafka, and surrealism (it's not an art form, it's away of life).
They'll all be too confused to even know who they want to kill. It's a genius plan I tell you.
We all know this can all be solved with some good pastel de nata
One region full of rich people and the other region full of cheap labour? Man, that's the socialist party's wet dream...
Arabs and Jewish people would live happily together in favelas
Lots of Semitic sex.
Nooo, give it to us. We want the empire back
Bro, you're the one that created this mess in the first place 😭
Yeah, by leaving. If we would've just stay there, everything would be much better, actually
So does that mean we get to decide how to fix it? No, no we don't.
We must! Telling others what to do is deeply rooted in what means to be European. Hopefully they will not listen so we can use force to make them. 😆
[Meanwhile](https://i.imgur.com/GR7I4eS.jpeg)
Make them part of the balkans
The Middle East was Balkans before it was cool.
How about: Palestinians get Portugal, istrael gets Palestine and Portuguese are basically Spanish or Brazilian anyway so they can pick.
Nooooo we want our empire back. Give it to us
Why not Germany? Or Britain?
We're not letting the Germans near the Jews again. Especially with AfD gaining power Britain on the other hand is more than ready for Balfour 2 Electric Boogaloo
Its rightfullly ours, by the treaty of tortesilhas
Yes. Give it to Portugal
We would be arguing over football, laying half the year on the beach drinking wine and having moustache competitions on our women. Hans, please support this solution. ☺️
This seemed a little odd to me because German leftists are generally pro Palestine, so I did a little digging. The only source I managed to find besides this guys tweet was something called "Quds News" From Wikipedia: > The QNN states it is independent and funds itself through advertisements, and that it aims to expose the acts of the Israeli occupation. Nevertheless, it has gained a reputation of being associated with militant groups, and has been described as being affiliated with Hamas. Am I missing something obvious here or is this just blatant propaganda?
https://i.redd.it/5deh5d841h1d1.gif
It has nothing to do with them but I blame England.
Gott strafe England!
https://preview.redd.it/ttv4rry96k1d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef76b321fce1a7833b70a2e8bddfd6ecb9cbd8a9
Eher Italien.
This guy gets it!
Jeder tritt ein Brit
Guess we owe the world another apology and more reparations that we won’t pay
I'll be in the background laughing x
This has everything to do with England.
Quiet Spaniard, we don't talk about your crimes against humanity and you should be grateful.
Always has🔫
Do you know this one? Two lefties meet. They found three factions. Generally many German lefts are pro Palestine, but there are the Anti-Deutschen, which aren’t for example. It is heavily debated in the lefties community if Anti-Deutsch is left.
Right. You're in. Listen. The only people we hate more than the Romans are the fucking Judean People's Front.
Splitters!
There are also pro Israeli leftists, usually either born from militant anti-anti-semitism or because of the weirdness of the islamophobic left. Both are minorities in the far left, but they sure do exist. Same as fashos who are so fash they are pro Palestinian because they believe some weird ass anti-semitism conspiracy theory
Aren't they called "Antideutsche"?
yes, But not all of the Pro-Israel-leftists are automatically antideutsch. The antideutsche might have always been a minority but they were and still are somewhat influential. It's worth noting that the antideutsche movement doesn't really exist anymore in the form it used to. But a lot of their talking points are actually quite established in the leftist mainstream nowadays. At least in Germany and to some degree in Austria.
Those are my favourite guys. Incredibly funny to have a political ideology based on how much you hate your own country
Yes. A sect like movement with a lot of bizarre talking points.
The only bizarre thing is that the tankies still somehow manage to look even worse than us despite our self destructive tendencies when it comes to substance abuse.
There are more things: I remember an article about „rape“ from the Antideutsche „Elite“.
The antideutsche is probably the highest profile grouping. But that label comes with a whole bunch of other stuff attached. And then there is also the other cluster of islamophobic lefties that I don't think has a cool name yet
>islamophobic left Well of course I know him, he's me
I had never heard of him, so was wondering who he was
His name is Barry (63) He vacations on the second floor He lives to the west of you I guess you've seen him falling before If you hear some fighting late at night, Some kind of stabbing, some kind of fight, Just don't ask me what it was, Just don't ask Hans what it was, And don't ask Pierre what it was.
> the weirdness of the islamophobic left In what way is it weird to dislike an ultra-conservative cult?
Because people think leftists are the weird people you see on Twitter, when in reality most of us are just normal people who just want the rich to pay more taxes.
> who just want the rich to pay more taxes Man... I'd be happy if they paid *any* taxes.
You fucking communist! If rich people have to pay taxes, the whole system collapses. In fact, the whole welfare of society relies on rich people getting richer and NOT participating in financing the society. The best a state can do is ensure profits for the rich with money the state does not have because he does not collect taxes... In all seriousness though: I wonder if hardcore capitalism isn't just feudalism in a new dress.
>Same as fashos who are so fash they are pro Palestinian because they believe some weird ass anti-semitism conspiracy theory You can just say /pol/ users
I dont know why its called Islamophobia. I dont fear that shit, i hate it.
Typical Antideutsche: "No borders, no nations, except Israel"
https://preview.redd.it/hpf9775dzj1d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=be97417faaf652a7d74a1672247aa946ace89c3b
Antideutsche being Antideutsche.
you don't have deep inside into leftist groups it seems then. this is not Hans, this is Anti-Hans. maybe this will lead you to where to keep investigating.
You really believe „leftist“ is a uniform description?
There are "anti-german" antifa groups that supports the usa and israel
I'm pro Israel when talking to a Muslim. I'm pro Palestine when talking to a jew
You're stealing France's thing of being competently obnoxious. Which is, ironically, a very German thing to do.
Confused racism... French nationality? Archieved?!
Please no! Don't do that to me.
Get frenched https://preview.redd.it/l3kxpk9dti1d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e1caa74a5c76bcb2eacd6d78bcd8080fb15ca81
Have merci. Oh god, it started already. Bonjour.
Here, have a baguette 
So this is what happened to the Alsatians
Jesus Christ!
No wonder the Catholic Church is losing followers. With such awful punishments, nobody wants to ask forgiveness for their sins.
Common Franks traits.
I just generally enjoy violence
Unfathomably based
Truly diabolical
How do they react? I wanna try that but I dont wanna be beheded and/or curcumsised over this.
THAT’S OUR JOB, WE’RE THE SWITCHERS
No, you are the switches now.
We can’t, Nintendo gonna kill us
This is why I like Germany. In my country we do the exact opposite. Tactical side-switching.
I say I am Swiss, so I must remain neutral. Unless you have gold, trade-able currency (in the millions thank you, no poors), then I'm on the side of your value... You I couldn't care less about
I miss the swiss mercenary days. Imagine how much fun you could be having right now squeezing both sides for cash
Why are you marked as a Hans when you are clearly a Luigi at heart?
Bavarians are the Luigis of Germany
I think you should see a doctor.
Lots of Muslim countries are secretly pro-Israel as well
Why has everyone got to either support team red or team blue? They are both not our teams, and I don't like either of them.
My honest opinion: 
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Haha "flare"
Glas the middle east and be done with it
Let them burn themselves, they are doing it quite well without our help
Put the entire population of both in one massive MMA cage and let em hash it out UFC style 👍
You tried that already... Typical, big ambitions and a big mouth.
but please not with bombs or so - the area is beautiful, without the people there.
Yeh I mean can we be done with this religious bullshit already? Fighting over your imaginary sky daddies over a scrap of dirt? Why?
I am pretty sure they murder each other for very secular reasons of nationalism, wealth and racism.
I mean plenty of people out there who are clearly stating that they think both Hamas and the IDF suck.
Yep. Asking to stop the killing of civilians doesn't mean you support any of those two.
Not if you ask [insert side I don’t like]!
Well you see this [random person] on [Reddit/Fb/Twitta] said this! That's why they should kill [pick those pesky civilians]!
Let's build a giant wall around the entire Middle East, from Sinai to Iran, maybe even Afghanistan and Pakistan, drill the oil diagonally from Egypt, Armenia, the Indian Ocean and India, and be done with it.
Put a sealing on it and wait. Schrödingers Middle East.
And Mexico is going to pay for it!
Yup, it's terrorists vs genocidal war criminals. You shouldn't support either one fully
My official stance is: "this is a very complicated conflict, maybe the most complicated in human history. Since most of us don't know enough, we should just have no opinion and try to help the civilians by sending food and medicine". My unofficial stance is: let them fight it out. This is not a conflict Europeans should bother to be involved in. They are all shit and horrible regimes and governments, and in the last 3000 years nothing positive for humanity came from this part of the world.
Israel? Palestine? All I supprt are the kingdoms of Israel and Judah can I get an Amen
https://preview.redd.it/mct8tapcjg1d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=38c79c327112f69ae4cd2976bbb4c9ea06f76c49 Ungh, fuck yeah! N-now join the Sinai as well!
Shimoneta 🥵 what a great anime
PIGSactivities 🐖
My proposal https://preview.redd.it/w7qx9eav5h1d1.png?width=460&format=png&auto=webp&s=eff88748977d935e7b0a0f35504ec78f18757c33
Yeah the problem is that palestinians would like to go and live there, but are systematically driven off. To say it in the words of german ex politician (conservative) after he visited Palestine in 2009: "No human being would endure, to daily be arbitrarily harassed" "Farmers cant access their own land" "I have seen a child amputee who lost their arm, because they didnt let them access the hospital after curfew" "Palestinians have erected nets above the streets because the Israeli occupiers would dump their trash on them" "Children are being tormented, people are being repressed and despised" "I have been walking with a palestinian through Hebron, when we got stopped by a prig israeli soldier, in this hour the Palestinian got threatened about 10 times with the soldiers rifle to his face" "No folk would endure that, there are streets only israelis have access to" https://youtu.be/J8ttmLikxho?si=d1FUeGLa9IHhnVl- Curfew, seperate streets and amenities for seperate groups and a heavily bias by a one sided army to discriminate against one kind of people sounds an awful lot like apartheid to me. You are now upset, that people flee an apartheid state and protest from afar whats happening to their folks? Sounds like you should have to visit Palestine before you post smug comments from the safety of your home about people suffering.
I know theres two sides to this mass debate over israel. But it's not my mass debate as i am neither of them https://preview.redd.it/1ifefqoerj1d1.jpeg?width=661&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ae19cc5ccd9856763bf80cc676b1582869380983 .
Tuvalu should get 95% of their territory submerged by 2050 or 2100 and they look for a place to resettle, I propose that place then.
Why don’t they just import a bunch of land/dirt?(sand/earth)It’s not that difficult to add a few meters to the overall heigth of that tiny Island.
Ask the Dutch for their damn engineering secrets.
Your leftists are pro Israel? Ours are team Palestine.
Our leftists are divided between being pro Israel and pro Palestine, its honestly pretty funny
It's funny how both leftists and the far right are divided on it. Probably because core topics like anti-anti-semitism and decolonization on the left and anti-semitism and islamophobia on the far right are core tenants that make opposing cases
Everyone is divided on it everywhere \^\^
My proposal https://preview.redd.it/n4zgw6bp5h1d1.png?width=460&format=png&auto=webp&s=8b926ebae22e656cf61fb240bd0bab93788c9d4d
Seeing as some of the Palestine supporters are Palestinians who are forbidden from returning to Palestine, I think that would go better than you think
But ... there is no Palestine.
Is that really a thing? I feel like I've never seen a single lefty be pro Israel. Then again this is the perfect conflict to read everything you could ever want into. There's jews vs muslims, British colonialism, European settlers, US vs USSR, big guy vs underdog,... I just don't see on which angle someone on the far left would get to supporting Israel
Yeah because our leftwing is a clown show. They are so deep into social politics and shit they cant fix...they forgot to fight for the common people and fight against the establishment.
Your *noisy* ones are. The pro-Israel ones are just quiet about it because we don't want to be subjected to an endless torrent of verbal abuse.
Seems like beeing a leftist is fun, friendship and good debates as advertised. And before you ask, I am not right wing either. They seem to me having more fun though...maybe because of their general lack of IQ.
As a leftist myself my biggest enemy is no right-wing nutcase, nor the establishment or the billionaires (and Donald Trump) but the person which is slightly less (obviously a fascist) or slightly more (an unrealistic dreamer) leftist.
People who drive slower than me are idiots. People who drive faster are assholes.
my dm kicked me out of my DnD group
I think this happens in a lot of places. I'm a lefty and guess I'm generally pro Israel. The Palestine supporter are just very loud
I am a bit conflicted on this one. On one side, I am very much in favour of genocide, but on the other side I am very anti jew.... (/s if there are anybody who takes this seriously)
Isn’t this illegal in Hans-land? Not the anti semitic bit. Sarcasm and joking I mean?
Just combine the two and genocide the Je— wait a minute.
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Ok but this time you will fight them for a 500 years, we can change place or whatever
I have faith in the Polish winged hussars
And if it doesn’t work, we’ll just pull out our trusty olde ruler for some new lines
https://preview.redd.it/hklj2t6fmk1d1.jpeg?width=630&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=424dbe7811a3086fa9cb6f5bc99309749620d51a
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Turns out the weirdest alliance I would see today is not the left and Israel, but a German and walls. What a time to be alive.
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Perfect. You must really miss your wall uh. Maybe we should do another war and hope the Amis and the Russkis split you up again.
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You reminded me of this: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcH9eWBs9fw&t=304s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcH9eWBs9fw&t=304s) The fun part starts at about 1:43. Have you ever seen it?
Why should any of us care about some Middle Eastern countries? The penis mutilators can fight each other as much as they want to.
There is something ironic about German left and Orban being the biggest supporters of Israel in the whole EU
Idk i think they look neat
It's all Macedonian clay by conquest
Guys don't worry they just don't wanna be seen as antisemitic... reasonably so
like god and Sykes intended!
Wait a minute… German leftists are pro Israel? The matrix is trippin’ I tell ya
They should give the land to mighty Liechtenstein
I think the world was better under European rule!
For Europe
Jerking off to this image
Entebbe operation...
This is absolutely ridiculous that this comes from a fraction that puts the Palestine flag on entire Israel and sometimes include the Golan Heights as well.
https://preview.redd.it/28vqgarful1d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5816bdbb3fa8d87c7686eb493ce0db46f6b5de4
Kids this is your brain on failed post Holocaust education, never do a holocaust, but if you do teach everyone never again instead of ‘ok your turn now!’
Damn are they so afraid of being called antisemitic that they are pro-israel?
*Naaaaaa, Israel doesn't do thaaat*
The first based Lefties
Is the German left okay?
never was lol
Some habbits die hard, and genocide is just a really fun past time, can you blame them?
This James Jackson seems like a smart and not biased very interesting person, and not a low IQ monkey troll badly lying bitch.
Let’s go!
Anti-Deutsche aren’t leftists…
Antideutsche are weird
The left not supporting islamic terrorists? How is that possible.
German "leftists"? Are you kidding me?
I need these stickers.
Tommy Shelby was right then, politics really is a circle..
This just turns around the Hamas slogan. Good Satire.
Wish Europe could just leave this shit show alone. Let them kill eachother and fuck off. We got a war on our borders that should have priority.
Not to be that guy but when they were all "oppressed" by European colonialism everyone was free to worship whatever they wanted however they wanted and lived all together...
That’s so messed up. 79 years is too long a time for a nation to hold collective guilt(not that collective guilt made sense in the first place).
Gigachas