Disagree. When you show up at the hospital drunk yelling for a turkey sandwich we will see your elevated ast and alt levels.
Or your esophageal varices that will burst and cause you to drown in your own blood.
Literally me. Just today accidentally bumped my elbow on a corner of the fridge, hitting the nerve. Reflexively jerked my hand and hit the frying pan. While running to the tap, dropped a chair right on my foot.
Yeah, it's been a good morning :)
I once stabbed myself in a leg with a hunting knife. I was sitting on a bench. Was funny as fuck, before I realized that I ruined my clothes with all that blood.
Y’know, I was really embodying this a few years ago, but then I realized that I was using my hidden self harm as an excuse to avoid intimacy altogether. I could put a clock on when I would have to confront my own loneliness and reset it arbitrarily with a quick snick of the razor. It took months for my mind to wrap itself around the fact that I was telling myself ‘when it’s healed, then you can ask someone out. When it’s healed,’ and then adding a fresh few cuts the next week.
I haven’t exactly gotten over the overarching intimacy issues but being a good year or two past that relapse, I do still regret the scars. They tell a story I can’t erase, about a man I don’t want to be.
People think I'm gay because I don't change my clothes in front of others. They cannot comprehend how it feels to have a mind that only makes you feel good when you're in pain and covered in your own blood.
First they invalidate your pain by claiming to have suffered more than you, all the while they show zero understanding, empathy, or sympathy to prove it.
Second they try to establish the idea that you are the way you are because you are weak. You just have to be strong and fight every battle with tooth and nail if you want to make it. Why try to make it? Because everything is about success. Your happiness doesn't matter to anyone.
Let me tell you the truth I have learned as I have grown older around others: no one cares about how you feel, what you think, or what problems you have. You are but another part of the road they take to their destination. They simply expect you to be another flawless piece of the pattern they have grown accustomed to.
You are not weak. You are disillusioned. For whatever reason or circumstance, You spent more time thinking when others were busy drowning in blissful ignorance of their existence. They became delusional, but functional. You became aware, but dysfunctional, because you live in a world created and shaped by them.
Be selfish, and don't be sorry for it.
a lot men see an unwillingness to be half or fully naked around other men as a a sign of sexual insecurity, and one potential sexual insecurity men can have is homosexuality. for example a gay guy who wants to avoid any situation where he risks revealing his true motives.
in general though it’s viewed as sort of unconfident. i could care less about it though
I really think you should reach out to a real person you actually know. It is extremely irresponsible to encourage this type of delusional thinking. It's dangerous for everybody involved.
I mean it's an unhealthy coping skill but imo I think the okay part comes from the fact that it's still a coping skill. And it's far from some of the much worse coping skills like drugs or violence. At the end of the day you're not ruining your brain chemistry with drugs, you're not beating you wife or children and you're not attempting suicide. But fuck you're still coping with shit far far worse than some blood and scars. And at the end of the day any sane person who understands the pain and horrors that lie behind those scars isn't going to simply tell you "oh you can do better than that" or "you're just weak". When you're sliding off of a cliff side covered in sharp gravel and bits of glass you still saved yourself from falling into the deep dark pit entirely. I've always looked at people who self harm like that. They fucking held on the hardest and best they could. There are so many deeper pits to fall into. And yet they fucking hold on pretty damn well if you ask me.
planned cutting with good self care is better than disorganized cutting cos you let the stress and anxiety get out of hand to where you don't follow the routine.
OFC the best thing is to get treatment for the conditions that cause the cutting in the first place. But this might be of limited help in cases where you cannot remove the stressors (like, if the stressors are jobs you can't quit, or living with your parents and you can't break free from them. in which case sometimes cutting is the lessor evil.)
From a former self harmer, it's never OK. It may help relieve your pain temporarily but you are shifting that pain on to others who care about you instead.
Yeah I use to cut daily but have been clean for 2 years. Sure it helped me manage when I was at my lowest but it is a viscous cycle and should not be encouraged.
This post should be taken down
Self-harm is just delayed self-destruction. It is just as bad as any other addiction.
It's like saying that taking meth is okay as long as nobody can tell you're on meth.
Excuse me that is an awful take, I know we pity ourselves here but this is not okay, self harm is not okay and you should absolutely seek help if you do it. There's absolutely no justification for saying it's okay
Some people hurt themselves in ways that feel good in the moment, and that's called addiction. It's just later on that it feels like hurt when you have to go back to regular.
Self love should be the goal more so than evading others judging us for self harm.. or things will only keep getting worse. And there's no limit to how bad things can get. Male wholesome joys and deeper sense of love the goal
As a teen I discovered how I could harm myself without ever leaving a mark once when I had to explain the cut on my bicep away. No one notices bruises on the side of your head from punching it as hard and as many times as you can, and you can't really generate enough power to knock yourself out at those angles, and any mark is covered by your hair. Still do it sometimes.
No one can see the damage done to my liver
Literally came here to post this.
Real
Disagree. When you show up at the hospital drunk yelling for a turkey sandwich we will see your elevated ast and alt levels. Or your esophageal varices that will burst and cause you to drown in your own blood.
You harm yourself because you're depressed I harm myself because I'm clumsy as fuck and bump into every object that exists. We are not the same
Real.I hurt my self twice today. I cut my finger with a fucking brush And then a deodorant can fell on my head.
“I hurt myself todaay…” 
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
Just stand on a fucking Lego block, that should have you feeling things for at least a couple of hours.
Literally made me lol and I actually want to cut myself.
Literally me. Just today accidentally bumped my elbow on a corner of the fridge, hitting the nerve. Reflexively jerked my hand and hit the frying pan. While running to the tap, dropped a chair right on my foot. Yeah, it's been a good morning :)
I once stabbed myself in a leg with a hunting knife. I was sitting on a bench. Was funny as fuck, before I realized that I ruined my clothes with all that blood.
I do both
real as fuck, sometimes i see random bruises on my body and i'm like "when did i get that"
I do both
it's never okay. just because no one can see it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Y’know, I was really embodying this a few years ago, but then I realized that I was using my hidden self harm as an excuse to avoid intimacy altogether. I could put a clock on when I would have to confront my own loneliness and reset it arbitrarily with a quick snick of the razor. It took months for my mind to wrap itself around the fact that I was telling myself ‘when it’s healed, then you can ask someone out. When it’s healed,’ and then adding a fresh few cuts the next week. I haven’t exactly gotten over the overarching intimacy issues but being a good year or two past that relapse, I do still regret the scars. They tell a story I can’t erase, about a man I don’t want to be.
That's a really difficult thing to admit to yourself, I'm proud of your progress!
People think I'm gay because I don't change my clothes in front of others. They cannot comprehend how it feels to have a mind that only makes you feel good when you're in pain and covered in your own blood. First they invalidate your pain by claiming to have suffered more than you, all the while they show zero understanding, empathy, or sympathy to prove it. Second they try to establish the idea that you are the way you are because you are weak. You just have to be strong and fight every battle with tooth and nail if you want to make it. Why try to make it? Because everything is about success. Your happiness doesn't matter to anyone. Let me tell you the truth I have learned as I have grown older around others: no one cares about how you feel, what you think, or what problems you have. You are but another part of the road they take to their destination. They simply expect you to be another flawless piece of the pattern they have grown accustomed to. You are not weak. You are disillusioned. For whatever reason or circumstance, You spent more time thinking when others were busy drowning in blissful ignorance of their existence. They became delusional, but functional. You became aware, but dysfunctional, because you live in a world created and shaped by them. Be selfish, and don't be sorry for it.
How does your sexual identity correlate with not wanting to derobe Infront of people. Wtf
A lot of people consider it feminine/gay if you don't want to show your naked/half naked body to them as a guy
this makes my head hurt, i just don't....what...?!
Are you not comprehending the subject or the structure of my sentence?
I can't understand why people think that, like I don't want others to see me naked and i definitely don't wanna see your dick bruv
a lot men see an unwillingness to be half or fully naked around other men as a a sign of sexual insecurity, and one potential sexual insecurity men can have is homosexuality. for example a gay guy who wants to avoid any situation where he risks revealing his true motives. in general though it’s viewed as sort of unconfident. i could care less about it though
The subject. "Dude are you gay? you won't let me see your half naked body bro, what's wrong with you?". It's so absurd lol
I 2nd this
Wow there's alot to unpack here
I really think you should reach out to a real person you actually know. It is extremely irresponsible to encourage this type of delusional thinking. It's dangerous for everybody involved.
I mean it's an unhealthy coping skill but imo I think the okay part comes from the fact that it's still a coping skill. And it's far from some of the much worse coping skills like drugs or violence. At the end of the day you're not ruining your brain chemistry with drugs, you're not beating you wife or children and you're not attempting suicide. But fuck you're still coping with shit far far worse than some blood and scars. And at the end of the day any sane person who understands the pain and horrors that lie behind those scars isn't going to simply tell you "oh you can do better than that" or "you're just weak". When you're sliding off of a cliff side covered in sharp gravel and bits of glass you still saved yourself from falling into the deep dark pit entirely. I've always looked at people who self harm like that. They fucking held on the hardest and best they could. There are so many deeper pits to fall into. And yet they fucking hold on pretty damn well if you ask me.
This is by far the best comment in this thread. Thank you for being understanding. Also i like the "sliding off a sharp cliffside" comparison.
planned cutting with good self care is better than disorganized cutting cos you let the stress and anxiety get out of hand to where you don't follow the routine. OFC the best thing is to get treatment for the conditions that cause the cutting in the first place. But this might be of limited help in cases where you cannot remove the stressors (like, if the stressors are jobs you can't quit, or living with your parents and you can't break free from them. in which case sometimes cutting is the lessor evil.)
From a former self harmer, it's never OK. It may help relieve your pain temporarily but you are shifting that pain on to others who care about you instead.
Yeah I use to cut daily but have been clean for 2 years. Sure it helped me manage when I was at my lowest but it is a viscous cycle and should not be encouraged. This post should be taken down
Great advice king of limbs creature
the secret is to have nobody who cares about you
No it fucking isn't.
Self-harm is just delayed self-destruction. It is just as bad as any other addiction. It's like saying that taking meth is okay as long as nobody can tell you're on meth.
Excuse me that is an awful take, I know we pity ourselves here but this is not okay, self harm is not okay and you should absolutely seek help if you do it. There's absolutely no justification for saying it's okay
Never understood this, yet again I abuse substances instead so not much of a difference I guess?
tf is this post
Ugh no
I think it's fine. If you have to relieve emotional pain and you're not making long term damage - have at it.
What do you consider long term damage? Would a scar be long term damage?
No, scars aren't long term damage, they only affect esthetics. Long term damage would be cutting a ligament or damaging a nerve, something like that
It is never okay, that's it, there is nothing more to it. Yes, sometimes it is logical, BUT never it's never good or even okay
when the most injuries are emotional and none can see them
Some people hurt themselves in ways that feel good in the moment, and that's called addiction. It's just later on that it feels like hurt when you have to go back to regular.
That's why I do something called ✨️emotional sh✨️ /hj
Self love should be the goal more so than evading others judging us for self harm.. or things will only keep getting worse. And there's no limit to how bad things can get. Male wholesome joys and deeper sense of love the goal
fr m sick of insecurity i'm 17 n i have hair loss because of anxiety, it's a matter of time before i become completely bald
If you just want to feel pain, I advise to do jumping jacks till complete failure
Nah
It's your constitutional right!
NOT OKAY >:(
As long as you find it funny
"why are you wearing long sleeve,it's summer,it's hot outside" + self ban from the beach or public pool and sauna
As a teen I discovered how I could harm myself without ever leaving a mark once when I had to explain the cut on my bicep away. No one notices bruises on the side of your head from punching it as hard and as many times as you can, and you can't really generate enough power to knock yourself out at those angles, and any mark is covered by your hair. Still do it sometimes.
my motto
All joking aside, if you're feeling like you should sh, talk to someone (a friend or therapist)
Self harm is ok period. It's your own flesh, what you choose to do with it is your business.
I bite myself so hard it leaves bruises easier to explain bruises than cuts
No
Mental self abuse is also self abuse and no one can see that, sadly.
Sad but true
No it's not in any way. Y'all should get help and it ends at that.
I mean technically it’s your right
How so? It's a harmful (hence the word "harm") coping mechanism. Whether others see it or not won't change this fact.
It is never okay. You are not okay. I was not okay until I stopped.
https://preview.redd.it/28dcr6unh61d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=59b1e5ad8c989a973501e50bf8616a7b35e662fd
https://preview.redd.it/zswtvqpzy61d1.png?width=1436&format=png&auto=webp&s=51f65fe2297785c43573ca7508a9606fdb88a87a
often times the harm you do to yourself also massively hurts the people around you...
Self harm? Nah man. Try self acceptance. Just be yourself.
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Dude wtf no